Original subtitles

(GUARD) Musborough Junction! Change here for Tatchester and Newminster!

Musborough Junction! Change here for Tatchester and Newminster!

Excuse me. Where do I get the train for Condicote?

(SHOUTS) For Condicote, Tatchester, Yockwardine and Newminster,

go to number five platform by the footbridge.

Thank you, sir.

Ah, young man.

Barney Dog has made friends with you at first sight.

That's the time that likings are made.

You are looking for your ticket, which, lo, is on the platform, dropped at your feet.

But it can't be.

- Why, so it is. Thank you, sir. - You must have slipped it out as you rumpaged.

As I what? Can I give you a hand?

Ooh, if you would be so kind.

Hold me steady as I swing her up,

then I can get her to my back where she rides a-triumph.

Only I do date from pagan times,

and age makes joints to creak.

- Or doesn't it? - I should think it does.

Then, there we are.

Oh, my train! Thank you, sir. Thank you very much!

By the way, my name's Harker. Kay Harker.

Yes, I do know.

(DOOR SLIDES OPEN)

- Going home for the holidays, ha-ha, what? - Yes, sir.

Very seasonable weather, too.

Snow. I like snow.

Over Christmas, I wonder if you'll play games, and, er...do card tricks?

- I don't know any card tricks. - Not know any? Allow me to teach you one.

- I don't think I'll be very good at it. - I see that you'll be very clever at it.

Don't you agree, Tristan? He has the face of one certain to be very clever at card tricks.

Hmm, the very face.

Just the facial angle and the Borromean Index.

Let nothing tempt you into playing cards with strangers on a train.

That's what my guardian says.

There's no harm in showing him a trick card sharpers use to deceive the unwary.

- Ha-ha, what? - (COMPANION) True, true.

Now...

- Which is the lady? - That one.

So it is!

Gosh, what it is to have young eyes, is it not?

I owe you sixpence.

I'm not usually allowed to play for money.

Very good principle...

..but if I beat you this time,

you shall give me half a crown for the poor box for next Sunday's collection.

- But I... - Agreed!

- That would simply be sportsman's honour. - Of course.

Now...

- Which is the lady? - That one.

I saw her from underneath as the cards went down.

Oh!

Half a crown.

(WHINING)

(MAN BARKS)

Charming little fella. Do you keep dogs at Seekings, Mr Harker?

How do you know my name and where I live?

- Aha! - Magic?

(WOMAN) Kay!

Kay!

- Jim, give Master Kay a hand, will you? - Why, Master Kay, how you have growed.

- Learning seems to suit 'ee. - Thank you.

I do believe he's right. Yes, I think you've grown a full half-inch this term.

Caroline Louisa!

Pickpockets!

There must have been pickpockets in the crowd. My purse and my watch - gone!

Oh, what a good start to the holidays (!)

- Here's the ticket I couldn't find. - Don't be silly.

- I saw you hand it in to the man at the gate. - The old man.

Can we give him a lift?

Excuse me, sir. Is that a Punch and Judy show?

I am, so to speak, a showman,

but the secrets of my show, they aren't to be had by everyone, are they?

- I was to ask whether you'd like a lift into town. - It being so cold.

No. I thank you, Master Harker. You must get home to Seekings.

Time and tide and buttered eggs wait for no man.

But one thing you CAN do for me.

The wolves are running.

Perhaps you would do something to stop their bite?

Wolves?

If you will, there is something no other soul can do for me but you alone.

Look for the old lady, Master Kay.

The old lady with the ring.

- Caroline Louisa, are we having muffins? - No, tea cakes.

I'd love some muffins. Can we stop at Bob the baker's?

You'll have to lend me some tin. I haven't a tosser to my kick.

Kay! You know you're not allowed to use slang.

Tosser to my kick (!)

About these pickpockets - who else was on the train?

Two weird chaps. It can't have been them. They were sort of clergymen.

But it was peculiar. They knew my name and that I lived at Seekings.

They could have read that on your luggage labels.

I don't suppose you were robbed by that old man?

Never. He wouldn't do that. I know he wouldn't.

Jim, can you stop at the baker's, please?

Well, are you going to cough up?

Please... The wolves are running.

He says if I tell you, you will know, and the others will know,

and no one will get bit.

(SIGHS)

- What else are we having to eat? - Something especially for you.

- Buttered eggs. - How did you guess?

Time and tide and buttered eggs wait for no man.

Kay, all the Jones children are with us for the holidays.

- Golly, how did that happen? - Their parents had to go abroad.

The children had nowhere to go for Christmas. You don't mind?

No. I like the Joneses. There's rather a gollop of them, though.

Look. I wonder who owns those Alsatians?

A good many people have them now - for protection. I never liked them.

They're too like wolves.

- Stick 'em up! - Maria, really!

Maria, don't point guns at people. Hello, Kay.

- Hello. - Oh, pooh, it's only a toy.

I've got a real gun at home. I pop balloons and tin cans with it.

It's an air gun, and it's not really yours.

Kay, you remember my sensible sisters Susan and Jemima?

Yes, of course. Hello.

Kay, what are we gonna do this Christmas? If we're snowed in, it could get awfully boring.

What Jemima means is what Christmas treats you might have. She's not very polite.

Golly, I am stupid. I should have asked that old Punch and Judy man to give us a show.

Ugh! My idea of a Christmas treat

is if a gang of robbers burgled the neighbourhood, and we battled it out with revolvers.

- Bang, bang, bang! - I hope we may be spared that.

Christmas ought to be brought up to date with gangsters, automatic pistols and aeroplanes.

(IMITATES ENGINE) Nee-arn...

Can we go into town and see if we can find him?

You may go, but it is getting rather cold. I think your guests should get ready for supper.

Master Harker? Kay Harker.

They tell me the wolves are running.

If you see someone...

..say someone is safe.

And look out for fun, Master Harker.

Hey, have you seen...?

The Drop of Dew.

If I saw someone, I was to tell someone that someone is safe.

Ah...

When the wolves are running, that's more than anyone knows.

Would you tell me what you mean by wolves?

Now, then, you want me to go up to Seekings with my Punch and Judy.

- How did you know? - I will come.

And I may bring more than my show.

In my box are such delights as you...

You're a good, kind boy, and you may see something of the box.

(KAY) Is it...? Are you...

..magic?

Now, then, you're fond of birds, aren't you?

What bird would you most like to see?

Um...

There is a bird I've always wanted to see...

..but I don't think it really exists.

(KAY) A phoenix!

I've really seen a phoenix!

Which you thought didn't exist.

(GLEEFUL LAUGH)

Let's see if we can wake him up, shall we? Ready?

One...two...three...

(CHILDREN) Wake up, Mr Punch!

(MR PUNCH SQUEAKS IN PROTEST)

(DEVIL) I understand you've been extremely wicked and bad!

(PUNCH) Oh, no!

I shall take you down to you-know-where to be punished!

(PUNCH SQUEAKS) No, no!

But as it's Christmas, I've decided to give you one more chance.

(DEVIL) Promise you'll be good. (PUNCH SQUEAKS) Yes, yes!

(DEVIL) I know you will be. (PUNCH SQUEAKS) Oh, I will.

May Punch be good and Judy fair,

and evil vanish into air.

(CAROLINE LOUISA) May we have the lights, please?

(WHINES)

(WHINES AND BARKS)

- There's someone out there. - Well, we'll soon see.

- (CAROL SINGERS) The first Noel - Oh, look!

The angel did say...

(MARIA) Oh. A silly old choir.

In fields as they lay

In fields where they lay...

It's the cathedral choir from Tatchester. The bishop is with them.

On a cold winter's night that was so deep

Noel, Noel

Noel, Noel

Born is the King of Israel

- More punch, Your Grace? - No, no. Don't tempt me.

Ah. The very man I want to speak to.

Um... Mr, er...?

Hawlings, Your Grace. Cole Hawlings.

I'm giving a Christmas party tomorrow evening at five o'clock,

and you're all invited, especially you, Mr Cole Hawlings, with your Punch and Judy show.

Right gladly will I come, Your Grace,

for I've played a Christmas play upon that night ever since pagan times.

- In a manner of speaking. - Oh.

(CAROLINE LOUISA) Take care on your way home, now.

- Merry Christmas. - And to you. Goodnight.

Oh, one thing more. On Christmas Eve, the midnight service in Tatchester Cathedral

will be the thousandth Christmas ceremony to be held there.

A special service every single Christmas for 1,000 years!

- You must come and make it truly memorable. - We shall be there, Your Grace.

Whatever happens in between, we shall be there.

- Goodnight! - Merry Christmas!

(MAN FROM TRAIN) Ah, Your Grace!

- We were just too late for your concert, what? - (BISHOP) No matter.

- Kay, come in out of the cold. Come on. - (TELEPHONE RINGS)

Seekings.

Now that soppy singing's over, we're gonna play pirates.

- Go on up. I'll be there in a minute. - Thank you.

(BARNEY WHINES)

(WHINES)

Yes.

- They're outside. - What do they want?

My old magic.

Their new magic is sometimes too powerful for mine,

but I have something they want.

The Box of Delights.

What picture is that?

It was painted by my grandfather.

It's a mountain in Switzerland.

Hold his head.

Allez-hup, and off we go.

Watch out for wolves, Master Kay.

Come on. Come on, Barney Dog.

(CAROLINE LOUISA) Kay?

That was London on the telephone.

My brother's ill again, and they think I should pop up to see him - just for a day.

I hate leaving all of you on your own, but it's Christmas - season of goodwill and all that.

Nothing can go wrong, can it? I shall catch the evening train. Will you see me off?

Kay, what are you gaping at?

Jim, I've got to go Christmas shopping for those blessed Joneses.

Can you drop me near the shops? I'll find my own way home.

(MAN'S VOICE BOOMS OUT) Well?

Here we are, then, ha-ha, what?

We are not all here yet.

Where's Rat?

- Rat, my dear! - You got any green cheese for me?

As green as only you can eat.

And what are we to do next, what?

You, Foxy Faced Charles,

and you, my Chubby Joe...

..let that old devil of a Punch and Judy man slip through my fingers!

Ah, but we overheard some valuable information.

The bishop gives a Christmas party at his palace in Tatchester.

Tomorrow at five, guv. And the old boy'll be there.

Christmas party.

Tatchester.

Off you go to Tatchester - right now.

Smell out the ground.

Right.

(RAT) Them's the two you want to watch, boss.

Like to be chief. Both of 'em would.

Even 'im - "Ha-ha, what?"

Huh!

Well, have you found anything for me, Rat?

At the Drop of Dew. Before the boy come along.

The old man had a pow-wow with her.

The old woman with the flashing eyes.

- Expect action at dawn tomorrow. - Dawn?

Action?

- Where? - Bacon rind I was hoping for, not just cheese.

- Bacon rind you shall have tomorrow. - Oh, yes. Tomorrow (!)

That brings the plump to a man - bacon rind tomorrow.

That, and marrowbone the day after makes your fur shine.

Rat, dear.

I said...WHERE?!

The old man will be near King Arthur's Camp on Bottler's Down, up on the hill.

Brave Rat.

Beautiful Rat.

Report to me then, after the action at dawn.

11am. My private rooms.

Prince Rupert's Arms.

I will get that box from him, Rat,

for it will give me power.

Power over all!

As for their thousandth Christmas ceremony, well...

..we'll see about that.

- But if anyone else gets in my way... - Meaning the boy?

Meaning the boy.

Young Master Harker!

If he should get in our way...

(MAKES A SNAPPING SOUND)

Kay? What's the matter?

King Arthur's Camp. I'm needed there.

- I know I am. Will you come? - Come?

It must be nearly midnight. Anyway, that hasn't been a camp for centuries.

It's just a big lump of earth in the middle of nowhere.

Oh, go back to sleep.

Hello, pony.

(WOLVES PANTING)

(GROWLING)

Pony, pony, how do we get in?

(PEOPLE SCREAM)

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