All language subtitles for Scrubs s09e06 Our Girl-Bro.eng

(alarm beeps)
(lucy) I finally figured out

The key to getting everything
done at medical school--

Do a bunch of thgs at once and never sleep.
Hey, dad. Don't have a lot of time for our daily update,

But here goes--
school's hard, dorm's gross,

Not really dating,
but I am having my lady needs

Tended to
by a handsome young stallion.

(laughs)

Wow. Just remembered
who I'm talking to.

Sorry, dad.
But since it's out there,

Hot damn, I am in the middle

Of a real sexual awakening
right now. Hmm?

Yeah, that's about enough
for me today, too.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Baby, what's up? It's 5:30.

I have 9,000 things to do.
Go back to sleep.

Girl, once you wake up
the troops,

You gotta storm the beach.

You know what? You are
actually on my "to-do" list.

Yeah.

The iliohypogastric
and ilioinguinal nerves

Innervate the groin region.

God, I'm great at study-walking.

Oh, good. Dr. Turk.

I scanned those slides
for your lung lecture.

I e-mailed them to you. Did you
get a chance to check 'em?

He's gone, lucy.
He's gone.

Yesterday was
dr. Dorian's last day.

Dr. Turk was taking it
pretty hard.

He done gone to zion.

What?

Hey, turk.

Okay, this is
why pregnancy sucks.

Your stupid name took my head
right to "turkey," because I

Have been craving the hell out
of thanksgiving food all week.

This morning I actually pounded
a jar of cranberry sauce

And me dry stuffing.

It was like a holiday, only much, much sadder.
You want to talk about sad--

I spent the whole morning moping
around 'cause j.D. Wasn't here.

It took me about an hour to get out of it.
Oh, he said to say he misses you.

He did?

Yeah.

(exhales deeply)

It's okay. It's okay.

He reacted the same way
when he got your muffin basket.

Look, turk, I know that you're
hurting, but you're gonna find

Someone else here
to ride the eagle with.

Elliot, you don't
ride the eagle. You eagle.

You choose "toe or thumb?" you
join "fight club with pillows."

You and j.D. Had a pillow fight club?
The first rule of pillow fight club--you don't talk--

Yeah, I get it.
No, I don't think you do. Elliot.

Elliot, please don't say anything.
Hey, turkleton.

I know what it's like
to lose a friend.

I lost my good buddy steve
back in korea.

Sir, that was a horrible war.
Yes, it was, but I'm talking about

A family trip we tookto the '88.

I suggested a wife swap
to steve,

And things got pretty weird.

Yes, it was an amazing night,

But was it worth it
to lose a good friend over?

Probably.

Great effort in the sack
last night.

Just remember, when I say,
"I hate you. Don't touch me,"

It's not about you.
It's about all men.

Cool. Crap, I'm a
be late for class.

Drew, wait. There's something
I have to tell you--

I'm late, too.

You missed your...

Yeah.

Oh, my god.

(laughs)

I'm kidding. Your face
looks so dumb right now.

Why would you do that to me?
I'm bored.

You're lucky
I vibe on crazy.

I hate you. Don't touch me.
Fair enough.

At patients
with pancreatic disorders.

Shh.

Hey, drew.
Glad you could make it.

Sorry I'm late.
You should be sorry as I'm giving all of you murderers

The honor of shadowing me today.
There is no penalty forthcoming,

However, as it is
an optional exercise.

Optional?
Hey, man, I gotta cruise.

Bunch of crap to do.
You--you cool here?

Now just a second.
You're leaving?

Well, what the heck
am I supposed to do?

How will the hospital get by,
for god sake?

(mutters) shut it down.
(electricity powers down)

Everyone, shut it down. It's over.
(machine beeping erratically)

Stop saving lives.
(laughs) man, you crack me up.

Ugh.
(electricity powers up)

Uh, but for reals,
I tta split.

I met this old cat upstairs

Who's got really painful glaucoma.

(singsongy) translation--
crazy-ass government product.

(normal voice) yeah,
we'll probably hang out,

Maybe watch
some "benson" reruns.

You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Number one, remind me again
why I can't kill him.

His daddy built the hospital.
Fair enough.

All of you remain where you are
for a moment.

I'm going to punch through
a wall.

(thud)

Maureen, I e-mailed you

Your bachelorette pictures
this morning.

I would have put them
in the regular mail,

But I think we could
get arrested.

Okay, class,
I want to thank ms. Bennett

For her help on this presentation.
Thank you!

Not really a stand-and-wave
moment. Here we go.

What do you mean they're not
the bachelorette photos?

All right, people, we'll start

With advanced mesothelioma of the lung.
(click)

(students laugh)

Now that's not a lung.
Dr. Turk, please--

No, lucy, I think this could be
what we call a teachable moment.

Next up should be

Pulmonary fibrosis.

(students laugh)

That ain't pulmonary fibrosis.

That's a woman nibbling
on some panties.

(click)
looks like the night took a dark turn, people.

Let's see what's next.
Oh, she's back!

Back in action!
(click)

Oh!
(man) ooh.

You can't do stuff like that
to strangers, woman.

It's not right.
Know. I'm sorry.

He's a human being, lucy.

He got 9 bucks, okay?
I made it rain. Move on.

You all right?

It was a rough surgerydon't
think the guy's gonna make it.

Oh, that stinks.

Yeah. This is
when I really miss j.D.

You know, at work,
he'd see me like this

And then try and pick me up.

Then I'd point to that doctor
over there and I'd say,

"who does that look like
to you?" and he'd say... Who?

A japanese laura dern.
How do you not see that?

I can't believe
you get to see j.D. Naked.

That was weird.

That's okay.
That's okay, turk.

I can do this with you.
See that nurse over there?

She looks like
a mexican carrie scott.

Who?

Childhood friend.

Yeah, she, uh, joined a cult
and disappeared when she was 16.

Oh, my god. That could actually
be her if she got really tan.

Carrie! Carrie scott!

No, not her.

Police are right.
She's probably dead.

What were we talking about?
I don't remember.

This morning was
such a disaster.

Maybe my problem is that I've
been trying to do too much.

Mm, I decided to do some
optional shadowing of dr. Cox

To get my mind off it.
Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question?

Do you see that shadow?

Over there? Do you see how
it's just quietly standing

Against the wall,
not askingnane questions

That make me crave the sweet
taste a hollow-point bullet?

That's you--
a dumb, quiet shadow.

Act like it.
You know why you should ignore him?

Let's just forget for a second

That you sprained your wrist punching a wall.
Oh, I can explain that. I hate someone.

Miss simmo' platelets
are low,

So I don't really think heparin's a good idea.
I'd never met dr. Reid, but she seemed incredible.

She went toe-to-toe
with dr. Cox.

But the bottom line is--
I admitted her, so she's mine.

Fair enough. She's yours.

Thank you. Hmm.

She was amazing
with her patients...

You're gonna be just fine, kate.
We'll get the blood work back

And then run a simple test
called a bronchoscopy.

She was a loving wife...

J.D., what's wrong?

Yes, sweetie,
turk misses you, too.

What?

I don't--he's wearing scru.

His green ones.

And she did it all
while being pregnant.

Can you hand me that bedpan?
Thank you.

(vomits and coughs)

Oh, yeah. Much better.
Take that. Who are you

And why are you following me
around and staring at me?

I'm lucy. I'm a med student.
Be cool, lucy. Be cool.

And I just have to say, you have
the spirit of a noble warrior,

Which is not to say that
you're not incredibly feminine,

Because clearly you are.

I mean, you're, like,
stupid, frickin' pregnant,

But also so skinny.

I mean, come on. You're like
a snake that ate a tiny horse.

(laughs) my point is, I'd like
to get to know you better.

Oh, so you're crazy.
Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's cool. I'm
dr. Elliot reid. See you later.

Who's got food? Mama needs
a refill! I'm dying here!

All right, class, we're looking for evidence
Of disease or abnormality.

Hey, dr. T. I heard one time
they opened up a dude's stomach,

And there was a finger
inside of it.

I mean, think about it.
You're in a lab,

You're a little buzzed,
everything's cool.

Then all of a sudden your
dead guy's flipping you the bird

With another dude's finger.
I mean, what?!

Denise, could you please handle
this? I've had a really bad day.

I'd love to.

So... You and me?

We're gonna have
a stupid jar.

Every time you say
something stupid,

We're gonna put a nickel
in that jar.

And when that jar
gets nice and full,

We're gonna take it
and beat you with it.

Okay?

Dude.

How much fun is she
in the sack?

More scary than fun.

Look cole, you gotta
dial it down a bit.

School newspaper's
coming out next week,

And they're publishing class rankings.
I thought you were already number one.

That's just with dr. Cox.
These are the real rankings.

Everything counts--grades,
participation, grunt work.

Everyone sees.
Really?

Yeah.
Huh. Hey, it's all good. I don't mind if people know my rank.

Okay, it's like
going to the gym.

When you blast it as hard as
I do, you want people to notice.

How much you think I bench?
I don't know, like--

I don't bench. I do high intensity reps.
I'm toned as bal.

What's with the lame writing on your ass?

Is it like a surgeon thing?

No, it's for pork chop day,
an old tradition for me and j.D.

We made special pants.

His said "pork" on the back.

That's actually why he had that
little sexual harassment thingy.

There's only one left. Do you mind?
No, that's all you. I don't even like pork chops.

Hey, look. There's j.D.
Where? Where? Did he wear his pants?

Sucka. I lied. I love 'em.

You're a pork chop keyser soze.

Can you believe that?
Oh, I do. The chops are awesome.

I pounded down 11 of 'em
already, gristle and all.

And I'm a vegetarian,
but the baby--carnivore.

Hey, turk.

(sniffs) mmm,
it's like christmas morning.

You want to help me get
her back? This is what we do--

We fill her car up with
pork chops, and when she opens

The door, the pork chops
will slide all over the place,

And she'll have to dig
a little seat.

I'm talking about a major inconvenience.
Okay, you're losing it.

We need to get you
a new work buddy, like, today.

Until then, you gotta
just chillax, my brother.

Okay, I cannot pull off "my brother," can I?
No.

At least I nailed "chillax."
No, you didn't.

Dr. Reid, you're so inspiring.
Oh, stop.

Go on.

You're totally
the kind of doctor I want to be

When I get super old.
Compliment took a bit of a left turn there.

I just don't think you realize
how awesome it is

For me to see a woman
actually doing it, you know?

I just don't think you realize
you're a great doctor,

And you've got your life
together. You're handling both.

Me--I've got nine texts
this minute.

My boyfriend needs me, my dad
wants his daily phone call,

My sister maureen is

Freaking out about
her bachelorette party.

She has to have sex with
her fianc?? for the first time

In case the stripper got her
pregnant--long story. Oh, sure, sure.

Plus, with all the studying and the schoolwork and--
lucy, you can do it.

You just need to learn
how to prioritize.

Uh-oh. (voice breaks)
I've been so emotional lately,

And I just pictured you
as my little sister,

And I'm starting...
To lose it.

Quick. Say something to remind
me of how crazy you are.

Um... I ran out of underwear
today,

So I wore my bathing suit.
Huh. Thanks. All better.

Hey, so you and me got off
on the wrong foot.

Nobody's fault. I mean, you put
two alpha dogs in a cage,

And there's bound be
some barking, right? Woof! Woof!

Yes. Yes, we are
exactly alike indeed.

See, you get it. Anyway, I just
wanted to talk about my ranking

Before the newsletter
comes out.

Spoiler alert--
you're last.

Hey, dr. Cox, please.

If my dad reads
I'm at the bottom,

He might lose it
and cut me off.

Okay, I know I don't act
like it sometimes,

But I really do want to be a doctor.
Son, that is the first honest thing you've ever said to me.

Yeah, you know what it's like

To have a miserable,
judgmental bastard for a dad?

No. My father was so super sweet
thaty entire childhood was

An endless parade of lollipops
and hugs. Of course I do.

Look, I can't just move you
up in the rankings

Based on nothing,
so for the next week,

If I need something done,
I'll go to you.

-We'll call it "extra credit."
-Great.

In fact, go to bed 12. There is
a very, very large sick man

There who needs an alcohol bath all over his entire body.
Thank you for the opportunity.

So did he buy the whole
newsletter rankings nonsense?

Like an elderly shut-in
talking to a telemarketer.

Outstanding.
(mutters)

Thank you for meeting me.

So basically I'm looking
for a work friend,

Someone to pal around with
at the hospital.

I am so ready to take this
relationship to the next level,

You know, mentally,
physically and emotionally.

I'm sorry, did you just say
"physically"?

Weird five. Get there.

If you were on a desert island,
what three cds would you bring?

Motorhead, metallica

And the original cast recording
of "wicked."

I stage-managed the, uh,
midwestern leg of the '05 tour.

And, yes, kristin chenoweth
is a delight. (laughs)

Why am I here again?

How's the food?
This soup is amazing.

Shut up, frank.
We are lucky enough to dine

With an educated physician,
and you order soup?

I'm sorry, dr. Turk. I'll send
him back for a sandwich,

Something more fitting.
Talking about soup.

(slurps)

How you doing,ate?
I'm a little nervous.

Is a bronchoscopy gonna hurt?
There'll be a little discomfort afterwards,

But you'll be under
for the procedure,

And the whole thing will be over in an hour.
And you'll be here when I wake up?

Yeah, of course.
Isn't she the best?

I think we're all searching
for something.

Sometimes it's a replacement
for the irreplaceable...

Lookit, gandhi, if you expect me
to go all the way,

You gotta step up your game
a little bit here, pal.

Maybe take me out
to a nice dinner,

Introduce me to some of your friends.
You're not taking this seriously, are you?

Not even a little, and not just
because I want nothing to do

With dorian's sloppy seconds.
Work sucks.

You, however, have been
lucky enough to have worked

With your very best friend
for eight years.

That will never,
ever happen again.

Other times it's just
a hard-to-reach spot

On a fat guy's back.

(groans)

Oh, no.

Dude, a little help?

Oh, isn't it terrible?

Mm, awful.
Mm.

(groans)

So ms. Simmons is gonna wake up
in a while.

Can I hang out with you
while you sit with her?

Lucky for me, I found
what I was looking for...

Please. I'm going home.

And she was
a lying, selfish jerk.

Morning, sunshine.
You look rested.

Wow, and making time
for the paper, too.

That must be nice.
Later, you munch.

Did she just call me
"buttmunch"?

Well, she didn't use the word
"butt," though I can't think

Of any other prominent type
of "munch." so, yeah, I think

She called you a "buttmunch."
I'm drew, by the way.

So I said to the lady,
"where can a well-hung marine

Buy a pair of shoes
around here?" (laughs)

(laughs) I don't even know
what that is.

Turkleton,
those days are gone.

Dr. Kelso, really?
Please tell me

You're not another one of
dr. Turk's gentleman suitors.

I am indeed. I think it will be
great to have a black friend

To help me out
with the sisters.

Get my swirl on.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Mm!

Holy crap. That totally
looks like a korean helen hunt.

No, that's
a japanese laura dern.

No, it's not. I'm gonna get
my picture with her.

Oh, yeah? Ah?

Well--well, tell her I loved her
inapanese "jurassic park"!

Hey, you came here with me.
Why you talking to her?

No, I'm still here with you. (mutters)
what the hell am I doing?

I always end up
in relationships like this.

For once, get out
with some dignity, bob.

Don't ever call me again.

No, it's okay.

Hey, crazy swimsuit girl.

What are you doing?
Volunteering at physical therapy.

I'm stretching mr. Biegel's hamstring.
Stop. He'll be fine.

How do you know?
He works in the gift shop.

You get what you can get.
Please leave.

The baby isn't mine, is it?
Get out, kevin.

Question--when you called me
"munch," were you referring

To richard belzer's
beloved detective character

First established
on "homicide"

But best known
from "law & order: S.V.U."?

Crime procedurals
soothe the baby.

Luckily, there is a different
one on every nine seconds.

You walked out on ms. Simmons
when she needed you.

I to stay with her all night. She faked out.
She did?

Can I get you anything?

(funk music playing)
(mouths words)

Yeah. (scoffs)

It got real in there,
big-time.

Plus, I got no sleep and I had
so much do this morning,

I had to do
my dad phone call

While having sex
with my boyfriend.

So many things wrong with that,
not the least of which

Is the fact that it's the most
turned on I've ever been. No filter, huh?

Nope.
Lucy, there was a hospital

Full of residents and nurses
here last night.

If there was a problem
with ms. Simmons,

I would have been called.
Stop making excuses.

You know, I thought
you could do everything,

But I guess it just seems
that way

Because you half-ass it with your patients.
(gasps) come with me.

Hey, dr. Cox. I just finished
cleaning that guy's foot ulcer.

How'd that go for you?
Not gonna lie, I yakked on his face.

Otherwise...
(singsongy) crushed it.

(normal voice)
what else can I do?

Actually, drew here was about
to assist me with something.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I got it. What's the job?
Sorry, charlie, this is my deal.

No, you know what, drew?
Cole's been really stepping up,

Showing some promise.
I'm gonna let him do this one.

Room 32. I want you to do
a manual rectal disimpactation.

Mr. Hanson is very constipated.

You will fix that...

With your hands.

(whispers) oh, lucky!

(flatly) yay.

"sorry, charlie"?

I thought it was brilliant.
Eh.

Mr. Valadez is gonna need
another surgery, huh?

Yep. I don't think
he's gonna be able to take it.

That totally sucks.

Um...

If you want, uh, today's
eileen in radiology's birthday,

And I was gonna go up there
and just steal her cake.

I hate eileen in radiology.

I'm definitely in.

She's so nice, it makes me want to cut her throat.
I know, right?

I was thinking, after that,
maybe we could stop on three

And then I'd show you the nurse that looks like--
looks like nigerian kelly ripa?

Thank you!

Lucy, ms. Simmons needs
a new I.V. Placed.

Let's say, uh,
you take a shot at it.

Yeah...

I, um...

Your hands are a little shaky there.
I'm jacked up on 17 cups of coffee

Because I haven't slept a lot
lately and my head is sweating.

But I'll be fine.

(gasps) don't you think
you should disinfect the area?

Good catch, kate.
What do you think, lucy--

Should we wipe away
all the deadly bacteria

Or just do this
civil-war style?

I really shouldn't be
doing this.

No, you shouldn't.

(whispers) one second.

Once again, a giant swing
and a miss for lucy bennett.

What's wrong with me?

Lucy, when I got pregnant,
I learned two things--

Ketchup on cereal
is delicious,

And sometimes
you have to be selfish.

That's why I went home
last night.

I mean, finally I have
something inside me

Forcing me to take care
of myself. See, I'm like you.

I probably ended up
in medicine

Because I want to try to
take care of the whole world.

But here's the crazy thing
about being a doctor--

You can't even take care
of one single patient

Unless you learn how to
take ce of yourself first.

So tell your dad
you can't talk every day,

Have your boyfriend grab a cold
shower every once in a while,

Stop doing slides
for dr. Turk

And let your sister
mess up her own life.

That's the key
to being a good doctor--

You first, then the world.
Now go home and get some sleep.

I guess there are lots of ways
to get by in a hospital.

You can just try to suck it up...
Ugh.

Or find someone to make
the day-to-day hell bearable.

(mouth full) mmm. Mmm.
(mouth full) mmm. Get the middle.

For me, it was just about
learning who comes first.

(cell phone rings)

(beep)

Ahh, snoops!

(singsongy) ole king cole is
in the house!

(normal voice) hey, did
everybody see the newsletter?

Check it out.

Number one--aaronson, cole.

Isn't that just
an alphabetized list

Of all the students in our class?
Yep.

You gonna tell him?
I haven't decided.

Oh, too bad, bennett, lucy.

(laughs)
what happened, suffin?

You're, like, two-thirds
of the way down this thing.

That is rough!
I don't know, but congratulations.

Yep, old double-a aaronson
nailed it again.

You suck, zimmerman!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0