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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,040 They're called The Spectrum. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,160 A savage stampede of cannibal women. 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,040 One person's dead, another's missing. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,120 Come back! 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,040 I like your dressing gowns. 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,760 I'm Ash. You're pleased! 7 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,800 You love that she likes you! 8 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,280 You call us Spectrum. 9 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,800 Agh! Laura! 10 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,840 Tom! Surrender or die! 11 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,720 You've got a week to decide. 12 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,240 If we don't go after Spectrum, Tom and Laura will die. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,440 If we split up, if we attack them, all of us will die. 14 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,760 But they took my feeble, helpless baby! 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,880 And Laura, but she can handle herself. 16 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,600 It's too risky. We're safe here. 17 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,400 No, we're not. Spectrum are coming back. 18 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,080 Felix! 19 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,080 That's kind of my stuff. 20 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,480 Calmly, la! Here, here. 21 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,720 Pet this sausage dog. I'm going after my family. 22 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,960 We are not throwing everything away on a suicide mission. 23 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,680 Here you go. This is the safest place in... 24 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:07,800 Agh! 25 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,600 Jennifer! It's OK. 26 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,520 Lightning never strikes twice... 27 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,160 Agh! 28 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,240 Get off! Ow! Daddy! 29 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,680 Laura! Laura! 30 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,200 Let go! 31 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,480 Daddy! Laura! 32 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,480 Food! Food! 33 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,600 What about them, eh? There's no normal people any more. 34 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:32,120 Noticed that? No solid, three-star guys. 35 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,000 Blokes who owned a biggish watch and occasionally drank Guinness. 36 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,960 Now everyone's making jewellery out of someone else's teeth. 37 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,320 I hate you! You fell in love with Ash. What about Mummy? 38 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,280 All right! What about your mum and Oscar? 39 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,440 I just had a few bad thoughts. You can't punish me for that you're not God. 40 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,880 Who even is God? 41 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,440 Can I check with your mum before I answer that question? 42 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,320 Is this like Father Christmas-gate, when you said he was dead? 43 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,360 The North Pole melted. He's got nowhere to go. 44 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,000 He can fly away on his sleigh. 45 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,880 How? To survive the radiation, right, he's been in his toy factory for six years, minimum. 46 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:07,000 He's eaten his flying reindeer... and his elves and his pointless wife. 47 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,880 But I was wrong cos Father Christmas is magic. 48 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,680 And magic makes anything possible. That's right. 49 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,680 Settling in? 50 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,800 Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of feminist thing? 51 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,280 Does that intimidate you? I don't know. 52 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,320 Maybe you want to tame an alpha male. 53 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,480 And that alpha male is...you? Yeah. 54 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,320 I'm relatively tonk. 55 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,040 I'm sexually magnetic, as we've seen. 56 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,360 I don't care who's downwind of a fart. 57 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,240 I'm 100 per cent prime rib. 58 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,600 So if you're thinking of humiliating me, think again. 59 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,720 Bacon sandwich? 60 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,680 Oh, God, yes! Please, pretty please! 61 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,480 Ohh! Mmm! 62 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,920 Go on, Dad. Hit her! 63 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,480 Your dad wouldn't hit a woman. Yes, he would. 64 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,160 I wouldn't. He hits me and Mummy all the time. 65 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,240 Er...I really, really don't. 66 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,160 You're such a coward. 67 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,760 Urgh. 68 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,680 Is that a nipple? Eat it. 69 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,720 I wanna fatten you up just like these little piggies. 70 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,440 Right, I feel like you want me to acknowledge how creepy you sound. 71 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:17,920 I'm a jowl girl, but I've heard great things about this cut, the gunt. 72 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,880 Or is it the gock? 73 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,680 Urgh! Urgh. 74 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,520 Did you just take my cannibal cherry? 75 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,960 Put something on the end of it, yeah? 76 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,720 Yeah, mate! 77 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,160 Oscar! 78 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,400 I am JK, King of the Gypsies! 79 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,120 Is that meant to be Jeremy Kyle? 80 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,600 Four kids of my own. 81 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,440 Keep the livestock entertained and the meat just falls of the bone. 82 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,280 Happy pigs, Happy Meals. 83 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,160 Welcome to the show. Put something on the end of it, bruv! 84 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,120 Put something on the end of it! Put something on the end of it! 85 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,720 Put something on the end of it! Put something on the end of it! 86 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,640 Put something on the end of it! 87 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,680 Their tracks could go on for miles. 88 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,720 Really we need transport. 89 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,600 The car? I crashed it. 90 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,480 The quadbikes? I threw them in the quarry, one by one. 91 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,280 It's been a bad week. 92 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,720 So where can we find a fast, agile 4x4 to slip under the radar? 93 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,760 Well, there is one option. 94 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,880 Oh, Susan, it's perfect. 95 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,760 I found some petrol in the boot. I'll fill the old queen up. 96 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,520 Hen nights. 97 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,280 You always get stuck with the drunk girl who goes out of her way 98 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,520 to tell you why she never gives blow jobs, the one who's hit 30 like a brick wall. 99 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,160 Hen nights can't be that bad? 100 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,040 You've never had a naked butler dip his balls in your pudding. 101 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,640 Ooh, pinch me! 102 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,040 I've found the mother load. Upmarket perry and a boxful of knickers. 103 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,040 Randal! Come on! They're edible. 104 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,440 I knew that. Yeah, I'm a gastronome, that's why I was smelling them. 105 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,320 "Ooh, what a bouquet!" is what I was implying. 106 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,080 Next stop: revenge, ladies. 107 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,240 Put your foot down. Laura's out there somewhere. 108 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,360 Let's put some meat on the bone of this story. 109 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,400 Come on! 110 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,000 You said that she said that you said that she said that you said 111 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:25,320 that she said that you said that she had read a text message on your phone from Stephanie. 112 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,040 Don't Look at me! Look at me! 113 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,480 Why didn't you eat him? Oscar's useful. 114 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,160 He's charismatic. 115 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,040 The lie-detector tests are in. 116 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,200 Plus, we did a taste test, and he is repulsive. 117 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,400 He gave someone salmonella. 118 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,520 Well, well, well, well. 119 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,760 It turns out, you were lying! 120 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,320 Ohh, never! Never! 121 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,360 You're just a boy, Tony! 122 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,800 Kill him! Kill him! 123 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,600 Put something on the end of it! This is my show! 124 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,440 My name in the title, bitches! My show! 125 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,480 The JK Kyle Show! 126 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:06,040 Don't look at me, Tony! Look at me! 127 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,560 Are you not entertained? 128 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,800 Yeah! 129 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,120 Where are you going? 130 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,160 Just for a jog. 131 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,200 Bit of cardio. 132 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,320 Eating all that human man has gone straight to my hips. 133 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,720 Grab it hard 134 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,160 God, I'm a terrible mother. 135 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,200 No, I am. 136 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,240 But it's just so hard, Stevie. 137 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,120 I really admire you, babe. 138 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,160 I found another bottle! Whooo! 139 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,120 Yes, we get it! 140 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,960 Brap brap, Dorothy. 141 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000 Welcome to Oz. 142 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,200 Stay back, Laura. 143 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,680 Afraid of my trident? It's a glorified hoe. 144 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,720 Yeah, well. Speaking of hoes... 145 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,920 where's yours at, fanny? 146 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,080 You ain't nothing without Suze. Oh, yeah? 147 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,320 What's to stop me winning the trust of your prisoners 148 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,760 and leading a revolution to shake this society to its very foundations? 149 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,800 Magic mushrooms. 150 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,840 They call me The Fun Guy. 151 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,480 How are they magic? Believe, ya. 152 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,600 See this? This is called Insania. 153 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,800 One of these, you'll be totally hamstered. 154 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,440 Turned mandem into Mickey Mouse. 155 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,120 The rainbows, the shows... 156 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,520 that's how you keep those men under control. 157 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,560 They're... Baked. Mashed. 158 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,000 Hashtag spangled. 159 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,320 Shit, I envy them. 160 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,960 But Spectrum live by the candy-man's code. 161 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,840 Page one of the rulebook. Know it? 162 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,880 Yes, obviously. I'm a pimp. 163 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,480 A watched pot never boils. 164 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,920 Never get high on your own supply. 165 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,880 Dad, you're falling apart. 166 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,960 Hell, I'd keep you alive, just to have someone to rinse. 167 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,160 But that way, I'd be letting you off the meat hook. 168 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,120 I'd rather be in that rank cage with those mouth-breathing mushroom-junkies 169 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,560 than safe, warm, well-fed and working for Spectrum. 170 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,920 I wouldn't. 171 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,360 I'm your dad. You can't leave me alone with the fat men. 172 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,760 You shouldn't negatively stereotype body shapes, you lanky git. 173 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,440 Sha-boi! You just got served a plate of your own ass! 174 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,120 How'd it taste? 175 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,720 I want to join Spectrum. 176 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,040 Then you better speak to the boss. 177 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,680 Hello! 178 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,280 Jackpot! 179 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,680 I surrender. 180 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,600 Ohh! 181 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,640 Liberty caps. 182 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:02,880 Took one of these in Truro, ended up crawling seven miles 183 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,280 just to giggle at a village called Cocks. 184 00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:20,270 I found this bleach in the limo. 185 00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:22,910 Bleach? What were those women planning in there? 186 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:25,110 Believe me, you don't want to know. 187 00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:28,070 I'll combine it with acetone in these cosmetics and make chloroform. 188 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,830 To knock the guards unconscious. 189 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:34,590 And I'll use the rest of the bleach to fill these water pistols. Let's blind the bastards! 190 00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:39,830 Water-pistol willies. Those hens and their risque sense of humour. It's so silly. I love it! 191 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,670 Now remember, we're relying on the element of surprise, OK? 192 00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:44,430 Yamato, get these chocolate handcuffs melting. 193 00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,870 Let's hit them with a little bit of theatre. 194 00:10:47,870 --> 00:10:49,030 Whoo! 195 00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:55,390 Aren't you still angry with me? I thought you wanted to beat me up? 196 00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,430 Mum says getting angry is easy. 197 00:10:57,470 --> 00:10:59,230 It's a bad habit. 198 00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:01,990 How do I know you won't stab me in the back to try and save your dad? 199 00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:04,190 I don't mix business with family. 200 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,590 We'll see. Let the games begin. 201 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,670 The throne-room. How d'you like it? 202 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,310 Yeah. Very er... very snazzy. 203 00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:23,430 I'm trying to drag cannibalism into the 21st century. 204 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:26,750 Thank you very much. Listen... 205 00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,910 I get it. You hate men. 206 00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:34,150 And a pack of shaggers like me and the lads, we're heartbreakers. You ladies want revenge. 207 00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:38,150 This isn't about gender. I'd offer you a job but you crammed your tongue down my throat, 208 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:40,790 and I'm not having this office party getting lungey. 209 00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:48,670 Five boxes. Five contestants. 210 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,750 One game that could change a life! 211 00:11:52,550 --> 00:11:55,270 Welcome to the Dream Factory! 212 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,270 Hello! 213 00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:22,230 Well, that was...elaborate. 214 00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:26,030 Gentlemen, show me your boxes. 215 00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:32,830 Now, Ash, tell me, are you nervous? 216 00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:36,030 Do you have a strategy, a tactical game plan? 217 00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:38,070 Tactics? It's blind luck. 218 00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:40,830 I think me and Number 3 formed a real bond 219 00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,950 when I force-fed him the guys from his life-drawing class. 220 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,870 You have selected Box Number 3. 221 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,470 Oh, my days! What a roller coaster ride! 222 00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,030 Number 3, you're back to the cage. 223 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,430 Hush now, the phone is ringing. 224 00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:00,670 Ring-a-ding-ding. 225 00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:03,150 Ring-a-ding-ding. 226 00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:05,590 'Sup, bruv? The phone isn't even plugged in. 227 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,510 Yeah. He is a dick. 228 00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,510 Mm, yeah. 229 00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:12,310 Mm. 230 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,230 All right. Bye. 231 00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:18,150 Can we get this bullshit over with, so I can get back to my sty? 232 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,910 You know the prize, what you win, right? 233 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:25,470 If you get the golden ticket, we unlock your chains and set you free. 234 00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:27,510 Yeah. Ooh! 235 00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,350 Hello, Tracy. 236 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,510 Good night, sweetheart. 237 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,750 Now for the main room. 238 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:48,390 We gotta take them out armed only with some bows and arrows, 239 00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:51,670 a French maid's cossie and a pair of nipple tassels. 240 00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,910 How do we do that? Never fear, Susan. 241 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,910 One of us mentioning no names 242 00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:58,350 can grab their attention voila. 243 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,350 Come on! Feel the force. 244 00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:04,870 Focus, Ash, focus. 245 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,830 Positive energy! Come on. 246 00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:11,590 4! Yes! Ohh! 247 00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:15,350 Oh, you've been a great player, by the way. 248 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,550 I hope you win. You deserve it. 249 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,230 Best of luck, mate. Cheers, thanks then. 250 00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:22,990 Ohh! 251 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,830 Ohh! Ohh! 252 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:27,270 I'm free! I'm free, yes! 253 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,910 In your face! Yes! 254 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,830 That's not a ticket, Tom. What? 255 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,230 Number 2, let's complete the game. 256 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,550 Thanks very much. See you later, guys. 257 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,630 Take care. Look after yourself. 258 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,350 That's piri-piri. 259 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:54,790 Dad! That's right, pussy whore. 260 00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:56,910 You better piri-piri up them digits. 261 00:14:56,950 --> 00:15:00,230 Cos I'm gonna play wing roulette with your fingers, bruv! 262 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:02,270 Ain't so jokes now, is it? 263 00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,910 Time to go put on my rape bib. 264 00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:12,470 I knew this game was rigged! You set me up, sitting there like some sexy Jesus. 265 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,630 Just get him in the oven. 266 00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:18,470 You're gonna cook me alive? Why d'you have to be such a bitch? 267 00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:21,150 There it is. The textbook misogynist. 268 00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,590 Guys think it's all about them. 269 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:28,870 I wear nice clothes and apparently I'm dressing for men. 270 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:34,630 I get into shape, go out dancing and suddenly I'm trying to find a boyfriend. 271 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:40,550 I find a boyfriend, jail-break his phone, misinterpret one text message 272 00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:45,110 and end up paying for a plane to fly a massive banner over his sister's wedding 273 00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,710 saying, "Ben Hackett is a lying three-inch prick!" 274 00:15:49,790 --> 00:15:52,110 Suddenly I'm the crazy bitch? 275 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,630 Crazy? No! 276 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:56,670 No! Yeah, you told him, sister. 277 00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,630 Just get him to the oven. 278 00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:02,430 Let him go! It's OK, Laura. Don't be scared. 279 00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:04,310 I'm not scared, I'm angry! 280 00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:05,950 Angry? 281 00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,990 Wait...I can't feel my face. 282 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:12,790 Did you spike my drink? 283 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,910 I spiked everyone's drink. 284 00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:22,270 Do your magic. 285 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,710 You've all been drinking Insania! 286 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,990 You sick, twisted little monster! 287 00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:33,550 Seriously, just examine that sentence. 288 00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:35,750 Oh, just get him cooking! 289 00:16:36,790 --> 00:16:39,750 Don't you wanna season me first? What about a marinade? 290 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:41,990 Ahem! 291 00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:43,910 What the hell? 292 00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:44,990 Felix! 293 00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,710 Oh, don't all start passing out! 294 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,590 I had a whole dance routine planned. 295 00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:05,870 Oh, puddle duck! 296 00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:09,150 Felix! No-oo! 297 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,030 Well, would you look at that? Nipple tassel saved my life. 298 00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:18,190 That's quality craftsmanship. Oi! 299 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:21,070 D'you know your problem? 300 00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:25,470 You're the kind of girl that gets her flatmates' attention by pretending to be anorexic, 301 00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:29,350 then sneaks into the communal fridge at night and eats all their fucking cheese. 302 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,270 That is scarily accurate. 303 00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:35,590 Yes! 304 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:38,910 Any minute now, they are all gonna turn into Mickey Mouse! 305 00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:42,310 Well, if I know anything about Liberty Caps, which I do, 306 00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:45,630 these poor mares are heading into a drug-induced coma. 307 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:47,950 It's magic! It's brain damage. 308 00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:49,950 You mean they're all... 309 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:54,830 OK, let's leave the nice ladies to have a long, long sleep, hm? 310 00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,870 No, he was saying that they're all dead. 311 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,630 Randal! What about Daddy? He's in there! 312 00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:09,150 Oh, oh! 313 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,710 Thank God. Where are your clothes? 314 00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:16,310 You mean, you didn't go in there naked? 315 00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,590 It was hot. 316 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,950 It was getting seriously sweaty in there. 317 00:18:21,950 --> 00:18:23,950 Shall I go and get them? Yeah. 318 00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:36,310 Tom? Go. I'll catch up. 319 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:38,350 Dad, what are you doing? 320 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:43,630 You called me a coward and you were right. I don't want to be a coward all my life. 321 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:45,990 Tom! 322 00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:52,590 Come on, you're free. Hurry! 323 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,870 Noel's back. 324 00:18:56,710 --> 00:18:59,070 And this time, it's my house party. 325 00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:03,950 Come on, let's take a walk to Crinkly Bottom, bruv. 326 00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:13,830 Agh! Agh! 327 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,230 Gotcha! 328 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,630 I've waited a long time to do this. 329 00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:24,150 It's time to meet the banker. 330 00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,110 There's an arrow in my neck. 331 00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:35,910 Man, that's cringe. 332 00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:39,590 Help me. 333 00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,150 You utter queef! 334 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,470 Shit! I was aiming for his leg. 335 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,430 Tom! 336 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:56,750 That was just like in Under Siege. 337 00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,670 The Steven Seagal movie? You're learning, love. 338 00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:02,310 Agh! Oh, no, Tom! 339 00:20:02,350 --> 00:20:04,710 No, no, no, Tom, Tom! Tom! 340 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,470 Oh, fuck! 341 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:07,950 Tom! 342 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,590 Tom, please. 343 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,110 Tom! 344 00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:14,430 Tom, look at me! I love you. 345 00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:17,470 Are you saying that cos you're afraid? Afraid of losing you. 346 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,230 Daddy! 347 00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,550 Tom? 348 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,990 Tom! 349 00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:27,430 Happy birthday. I brought you some lukewarm Polish lagers. 350 00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,470 Ooh, what a treat! 351 00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:31,670 How was your summer? Average, you know. 352 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:34,270 I got a job at Blockbuster's. I thought they went bust? 353 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,950 A job demolishing a Blockbuster's. 354 00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:38,790 Was it a bit like destroying your childhood? Yeah, kind of. 355 00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:42,750 Like wanking in my Thunderbirds pyjamas... which I do not still wear. 356 00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,790 How was France? Yeah, it was OK. 357 00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:48,590 Amazing how far you can get on just, like, "Bof". 358 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:50,510 I told you. French is just... 359 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,030 Pretentious shrugging, I know. 360 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,630 Turns out Oscar was staying in the same part of Paris. 361 00:20:57,670 --> 00:20:59,310 Oscar? Jesus. 362 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,350 Yeah, it was OK, actually. 363 00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:07,350 So I was taking a sledgehammer to the action films... 364 00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:08,430 Oh. 365 00:21:08,470 --> 00:21:15,190 ..and I got to thinking, that if you ever wanted to go bowling in a romantic capacity... 366 00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,750 What? 367 00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:19,950 Oh, Tom, I didn't know. 368 00:21:20,790 --> 00:21:22,790 Why didn't you tell me before? 369 00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:24,550 You know me, I like to play it cool. 370 00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:26,590 The thing is, I'm seeing Oscar. 371 00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:29,030 Oscar? 372 00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:31,670 Oscar Oscar? Why? 373 00:21:32,230 --> 00:21:34,310 He's very emotionally intelligent. 374 00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:36,950 What, as opposed to intelligent intelligent? 375 00:21:36,990 --> 00:21:39,710 Yeah, to be honest, it is more of a physical thing. 376 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:42,430 He has got an amazing... 377 00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:44,590 OK, I'm just gonna crank this thing up. 378 00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:53,190 Oh, if you're thinking of playing 21 Seconds, I played it earlier. Bombed. 379 00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:56,590 No Way. 380 00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:59,110 Oh, Young Fathers! I love this band. 381 00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:01,150 Yeah, they're really um... 382 00:22:01,190 --> 00:22:03,190 They er... they some... 383 00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,150 Sorry, as in Oscar-Oscar-Oscar? 384 00:22:06,190 --> 00:22:08,190 Blame Paris. 385 00:22:08,230 --> 00:22:10,230 The City of Love. 386 00:22:10,270 --> 00:22:12,270 The City of Bullshit. Hey! 387 00:22:14,030 --> 00:22:16,430 We can still be friends, right? 388 00:22:17,630 --> 00:22:19,710 Yeah, yeah. Like, it was just an idea. 389 00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,750 It's not like I love you...loads. 390 00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:24,790 Hey. 391 00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:26,430 Smile. 392 00:22:35,550 --> 00:22:37,550 Will Daddy be OK? 393 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,590 Oh, I hope so, sweetheart. 394 00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:44,950 Randal, those aren't edible. They're my actual knickers. 395 00:22:47,430 --> 00:22:49,430 But I'm halfway through the gusset. 396 00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:51,470 Randal, that's disgusting! 397 00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:55,470 Mummy, are we there yet? 398 00:22:55,510 --> 00:22:57,510 Laura, seriously? 399 00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:01,230 At the end of a highway 400 00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:04,630 There's no place you can go 401 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:08,790 But just tell me you love me 402 00:23:09,270 --> 00:23:12,310 And you are only mine 403 00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:16,310 And our love will go on 404 00:23:16,990 --> 00:23:22,700 Till the end of time 405 00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:26,750 Subtitle by Deluxe Synced and corrected by santibone www.addic7ed.com 406 00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:29,710 Jesus will rise again! 407 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:34,310 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30052

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