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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,277
- Morning!
- Morning!
2
00:00:05,371 --> 00:00:06,963
Ben?
3
00:00:07,015 --> 00:00:09,006
Your duty's over, Ben.
4
00:00:09,662 --> 00:00:11,175
Ben?
5
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:16,508
- Ben?
- (Twig snaps)
6
00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,804
Hubba hubba!
7
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:27,819
Who says, "Hubba hubba?" Sorry,
I don't have a great track record with the ladies.
8
00:00:27,871 --> 00:00:29,623
Which makes you and your...
9
00:00:30,638 --> 00:00:33,232
...apparent interest in me doubly unbelievable.
10
00:00:33,285 --> 00:00:34,559
(Chuckles)
11
00:00:34,609 --> 00:00:36,918
Oh, this is a trap, isn't it? Yeah.
12
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:40,331
Stop talking out loud, Grahame.
Always doing that.
13
00:00:40,384 --> 00:00:42,215
Argh! It's Spectrum!
14
00:00:44,154 --> 00:00:45,428
Argh!
15
00:00:51,213 --> 00:00:52,282
(Exhales)
16
00:00:52,336 --> 00:00:55,055
The foraging team have been gone
three weeks now.
17
00:00:55,103 --> 00:00:59,176
Hence my invention,
a high-tech homing beacon.
18
00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:02,549
You and Stevie spent, like, one night together.
19
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,994
And you're not afraid of looking
just a tiny bit desperate?
20
00:01:06,053 --> 00:01:07,884
Oh, what's that on my sleeve, Susan?
21
00:01:09,141 --> 00:01:11,132
Well, lookie here, it's my heart.
22
00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:12,983
And I'm happy to keep it there.
23
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,703
What's took 'em so long, anyway?
24
00:01:14,756 --> 00:01:18,954
Oh, I gave Stevie a little mission on the side.
Strictly need to know.
25
00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,762
Stevie! Stevie!
26
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,247
Stevie! Hey, Stevie!
27
00:01:24,863 --> 00:01:26,854
Steven Giggles! Stevie!
28
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,940
Stevie!
29
00:01:28,994 --> 00:01:30,712
Stevie's back.
30
00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:33,392
We found this fella on the road.
31
00:01:33,446 --> 00:01:34,959
No sign of the killer.
32
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:38,400
All right, Stevie? I missed you, mate.
33
00:01:38,459 --> 00:01:40,450
- I missed you too.
- Yep, he's dead.
34
00:01:40,505 --> 00:01:42,382
Tragic.
35
00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:43,943
Still... peckish?
36
00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:47,430
I thought you weren't a cannibal no more.
We talked about it, remember?
37
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:50,475
Can't you see I'm trying?
You've got a heart of stone.
38
00:01:51,975 --> 00:01:53,966
This is all flesh and blood.
39
00:01:54,943 --> 00:01:56,456
OK, wrong choice of words.
40
00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:59,022
And I thought you understood me.
41
00:01:59,074 --> 00:02:01,872
I do! Stevie! Wait there!
42
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,198
- Stevie!
- I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day.
43
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:07,401
Listen, Tom, before they get here...
44
00:02:07,457 --> 00:02:09,448
- Who?
- Susannah!
45
00:02:09,502 --> 00:02:11,015
Mum!
46
00:02:11,748 --> 00:02:13,739
(Laughs)
47
00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:16,953
Shit!
48
00:02:30,037 --> 00:02:39,993
Ripped by mstoll
49
00:02:53,179 --> 00:02:55,170
Suze, I love your mum. You know I do.
50
00:02:55,224 --> 00:03:00,093
It's just I did kind of spend winter on that road,
drinking my own urine, to get away from her.
51
00:03:00,158 --> 00:03:02,672
Darling, it's wonderful!
52
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,715
Your daddy would have loved it.
53
00:03:05,131 --> 00:03:07,804
Too bad his new wife's
busy milking him into a turkey baster.
54
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:10,930
- Which totally makes sense to mention.
- How are you coping, Mum?
55
00:03:10,987 --> 00:03:13,626
- I'll let you be the judge.
- Whoa!
56
00:03:15,158 --> 00:03:16,557
Badly.
57
00:03:16,602 --> 00:03:18,638
They drive my new man crazy.
58
00:03:18,687 --> 00:03:20,439
You remember your old PE teacher?
59
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:23,484
Mr Probert? That American sex pest?
60
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:25,019
Hey, Mr Probert was OK.
61
00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:28,420
Once, when we were swimming,
he saved me from drowning.
62
00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:31,226
The flipside of that is:
What were you doing in his Jacuzzi?
63
00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:33,511
Pete? Pete, darling?
64
00:03:34,329 --> 00:03:36,889
Here they are, Susie and Tim!
65
00:03:37,537 --> 00:03:40,176
Damn, she's all grown up.
66
00:03:40,225 --> 00:03:42,944
Er... Mr Probert. You look...
67
00:03:42,992 --> 00:03:44,425
- Good? Yeah, sure.
- Mm.
68
00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:47,593
I lost a few pounds -
the nuclear holocaust has been good to me.
69
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,158
Uh-uh! Come to Mama!
70
00:03:50,211 --> 00:03:52,725
(Grunting and moaning)
71
00:03:54,062 --> 00:03:55,814
Mum?
72
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,094
Mother?
73
00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:01,066
- So this is your?
- Lover?
74
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,111
Fancy-man?
75
00:04:03,166 --> 00:04:05,157
Hound dog? (Howls)
76
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:09,532
- So, your boyfriend?
- Whoa! Don't use the B word!
77
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:13,337
This gangbanger and me swing harder
than my big balls in the breeze, baby.
78
00:04:13,393 --> 00:04:15,384
Hence my fellow swingers.
79
00:04:15,439 --> 00:04:17,077
Still sexy.
80
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,432
I'm the Pied Piper of Poontang.
81
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:21,367
Spreading the love.
82
00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,868
Ohh!
83
00:04:29,958 --> 00:04:33,268
I think something inside of me
just ran itself an acid bath.
84
00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:42,609
I'd finished my teaching exchange and I was this
close to being back with my beautiful president.
85
00:04:42,671 --> 00:04:46,949
Back where cellulite is some kind of
European myth, like philosophy.
86
00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:50,203
Then Judgment Day comes
and I'm trapped in hell
87
00:04:50,252 --> 00:04:53,801
with all you faggy, mumbling, cartoon queefs.
88
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,658
By which you mean the British.
89
00:04:55,706 --> 00:04:57,139
Exhibit A.
90
00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:59,784
(Laughs) This is nice.
91
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:03,352
Yeah, it feels like a lifetime since we were
trapped in a tiny basement together.
92
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:07,320
Oh, Suze, guess who we saw on our way here.
Ex-boyfriend of yours.
93
00:05:07,377 --> 00:05:10,016
- Oscar?
- No, no, no, no, no. Nice boy. Tall.
94
00:05:10,065 --> 00:05:12,738
- I don't remember anybody.
- Yes, yes, you do.
95
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:15,306
- You were very smitten.
- I taught him for sure. David?
96
00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:18,237
David was not a gentleman.
He couldn't keep his hands off you.
97
00:05:18,287 --> 00:05:21,040
- Chris, was it? Sam?
- Ben! One of the Bens.
98
00:05:21,094 --> 00:05:22,527
One of the Bens?
99
00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:24,728
Ben Ford. Ben Clark, maybe?
100
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,775
Go away, he was barely a boyfriend.
101
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:28,865
CATHY: I can't keep up.
TOM: Clearly.
102
00:05:28,915 --> 00:05:30,871
Ben Taylor! That was it.
103
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,515
- Oh, right. Er... how is he?
- He's dead.
104
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:38,449
Yes, found him by the side of road,
his head was stuck on a spike.
105
00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:39,980
It's these "youths".
106
00:05:40,025 --> 00:05:42,414
Broken homes, broken Britain.
107
00:05:43,193 --> 00:05:45,753
Look at your brother Barney. Mr Moody.
108
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,190
- He keeps going on about death.
- He just needs some fresh air is all.
109
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:52,127
- Hup, hup, hup!
- Ow! Get off. Stop it.
110
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:56,538
Tom organises games for the kids. They love it.
Maybe Barney...
111
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,547
Pop your pinny on, Tim, I'll handle gym class.
112
00:05:59,597 --> 00:06:02,430
After all, I was your "Games master".
113
00:06:02,485 --> 00:06:03,759
Oooh!
114
00:06:03,808 --> 00:06:08,324
I only had one Games Master -
Sir Patrick Moore - and that great man is dead.
115
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,378
- Plus, I can teach PE standing on my head.
- Don't be ridiculous.
116
00:06:12,431 --> 00:06:16,982
Laura, your pop was the only kid in his grade
who couldn't do a hand stand.
117
00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:19,564
And we had a kid in a wheelchair.
118
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:23,125
She was pretty messed up,
but she always wiped her ass with this fella.
119
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,091
(Cathy and Suze laugh)
120
00:06:27,672 --> 00:06:28,866
(Whistle shrills)
121
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,588
I give you dodgeball.
122
00:06:32,244 --> 00:06:34,041
Technically, it's dodge-rock.
123
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:38,207
And it gets better. Tomorrow: Two teams,
one destiny. It's our very own Super Bowl.
124
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:40,057
How did you ever survive in school?
125
00:06:40,105 --> 00:06:44,496
If I'd been in your class, I would have torn you
a new asshole every day of the week,
126
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,434
plus weekends and public holidays.
127
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:49,758
I would have served your own assholes
up to you by the dozens,
128
00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:53,645
like your life was one long,
humiliating trip to Dunkin' Donuts.
129
00:06:53,702 --> 00:06:57,775
Well, if you could fantasise at length
about my arsehole somewhere else,
130
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,471
I'm giving a PE lesson.
131
00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:04,197
This must bring back a lot of memories
of being a clumsy, blind coward
132
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,480
twice a week for ten years.
133
00:07:06,536 --> 00:07:09,255
I'm not clumsy, I'm not blind,
and I'm not a coward.
134
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,975
Dad? Dodge this!
135
00:07:11,028 --> 00:07:14,577
Agh! Jesus Christ, Laura! Agh!
136
00:07:14,638 --> 00:07:17,027
I could be so mean to you right now,
you... Hobbit.
137
00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:19,040
I hate you!
138
00:07:20,012 --> 00:07:21,331
And this isn't over.
139
00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:24,454
I'm the only sportsman around here.
140
00:07:24,504 --> 00:07:25,823
Agh!
141
00:07:29,638 --> 00:07:32,277
Laura, come back! Laura?
142
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:35,518
Thank you, thank you!
143
00:07:36,015 --> 00:07:39,928
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
144
00:07:39,985 --> 00:07:41,623
- Thank you!
- Agh!
145
00:07:44,918 --> 00:07:47,990
You're the first human being
I've seen in three fucking years.
146
00:07:48,047 --> 00:07:50,800
I thought I was the last person on earth.
So I made a deal with God.
147
00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:55,370
The first man I saw, I would instantly
make him get me pregnant. Adam and Eve shit.
148
00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:59,339
Then I got paranoid, cos can you imagine
if Adam and Eve didn't fancy each other?
149
00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:01,308
Adam's, like, "Er... so, are we gonna..."
150
00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:03,273
And Eve's, like, "You're not my type."
151
00:08:03,328 --> 00:08:05,239
Adam's, like, "We have to at some point."
152
00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:08,012
Eve's, like, "Stop doing that.
We have nothing in common."
153
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:11,018
Adam's, like, "What are you talking about?
You're made from my rib."
154
00:08:11,068 --> 00:08:13,343
Eve: "Great, you can suck your own cock."
155
00:08:13,394 --> 00:08:16,352
Adam: "We have to get up on each other
for the sake of humanity."
156
00:08:16,403 --> 00:08:17,995
How can you not fuck after that?
157
00:08:19,009 --> 00:08:21,239
- I'm Ash.
- Can you get off my boyfriend?
158
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,419
Hey.
159
00:08:28,515 --> 00:08:30,153
How did that get there?
160
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:32,190
- This is Stuart.
- Hi, Stu.
161
00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:35,198
We really don't mind.
162
00:08:36,697 --> 00:08:38,688
- Voilà.
- Thank you.
163
00:08:38,742 --> 00:08:40,141
Wow!
164
00:08:42,151 --> 00:08:43,584
This is great!
165
00:08:43,635 --> 00:08:45,626
Thank you, Tom, you're my hero.
166
00:08:49,491 --> 00:08:51,083
Wow, you're shiny.
167
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:53,365
Are these shorts too much? Honestly?
168
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:55,457
Too much, too little... Sure you're not cold?
169
00:08:55,507 --> 00:08:57,657
Please, Suze. I envy you.
170
00:08:57,713 --> 00:08:59,544
I'm loving this whole feminist thing.
171
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:02,590
- I never said I envied you, but whatever.
- Drag?
172
00:09:02,646 --> 00:09:04,602
No, I'm loving the whole anti-cancer thing.
173
00:09:04,651 --> 00:09:07,688
Oh, you're right.
God, I've missed having a mother figure around.
174
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:10,618
Not that you're mumsy, more like a sister.
175
00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:12,579
An older sister, wise.
176
00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:14,624
Owlish. Hug?
177
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:16,396
Tom? Outside.
178
00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:19,804
Tom!
179
00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:22,886
Right, I've been thinking.
180
00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,931
One person's dead, another's missing.
181
00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,544
Who's responsible for that?
182
00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:27,943
Spectrum?
183
00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:30,588
But what if the killer's here?
184
00:09:31,242 --> 00:09:33,358
A new face, perhaps?
185
00:09:33,408 --> 00:09:35,126
- A stranger.
- You think Ash?
186
00:09:35,173 --> 00:09:37,129
We don't know anything about her,
187
00:09:37,178 --> 00:09:40,250
where she came from, who she is,
how the hell she shaves her legs.
188
00:09:40,307 --> 00:09:47,258
Look, Ash is just a woman who's young and
fit... ting in with us and you're untolerant of that.
189
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,122
Intolerant. I'm intolerant.
190
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,889
- Well, at least you're honest.
- I've got my eye on her.
191
00:09:51,938 --> 00:09:54,327
So do I. You know what I mean.
192
00:09:56,069 --> 00:09:58,583
- (Music playing)
- Shake it, guys and girls.
193
00:10:01,363 --> 00:10:02,637
Yeah, yeah.
194
00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:11,375
(Whistle blows, music stops)
195
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,421
Find a chair, find a chair!
196
00:10:13,475 --> 00:10:14,828
Whoo!
197
00:10:16,002 --> 00:10:17,230
All right, Barney?
198
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:20,561
The red team need a defensive midfielder
with a deep bounce in their locker.
199
00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:21,933
(Whistle blows)
200
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,578
Back to the wall, Barney.
I thought this was dodgeball.
201
00:10:25,628 --> 00:10:28,586
It was, until Zorbotron sprained his wrist.
202
00:10:28,636 --> 00:10:30,388
His parents were furious.
203
00:10:30,441 --> 00:10:33,080
'Ere, Zorbo! Snitches live in ditches.
204
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:35,965
So I invented a new sport.
205
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:39,005
Have you ever done that? No, thought not.
206
00:10:39,064 --> 00:10:41,658
So you invented musical chairs?
207
00:10:42,473 --> 00:10:44,145
I'll take it from here, Tim.
208
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:45,835
No chance.
209
00:10:45,882 --> 00:10:47,873
All right, how about this?
210
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,236
I'll coach the greens. You coach the reds.
211
00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,850
If I win, these kids' asses belong to me.
212
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,175
Fine.
213
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,101
And if I win, you leave the camp.
214
00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:57,662
Deal...
215
00:10:57,714 --> 00:10:59,033
bitch.
216
00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:14,979
- Sure it's OK for me to stay here?
- Of course. What are you talking about?
217
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,190
I saw Laura. She called me a home-wrecker.
218
00:11:17,246 --> 00:11:20,318
I guess it's a word she must have heard
from somewhere.
219
00:11:21,417 --> 00:11:24,250
Oh, she's always cracking jokes.
Chip off the old block.
220
00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:25,738
Ohh!
221
00:11:25,789 --> 00:11:30,579
Ladies and gentlemen,
those who are about to swing, we salute you!
222
00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:31,994
(Cheering)
223
00:11:32,045 --> 00:11:33,398
Come on!
224
00:11:33,449 --> 00:11:35,758
I have got to get this douche out of my life.
225
00:11:35,815 --> 00:11:38,613
Wanna talk tactics at my place?
I've got more cigarettes.
226
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,415
Yeah, yeah.
227
00:11:40,468 --> 00:11:42,220
Tactics. Just tactics.
228
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:45,026
Formations, false nines, scrummages.
229
00:11:46,404 --> 00:11:47,962
President of Lego Land!
230
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,680
Ha ha!
231
00:11:49,732 --> 00:11:53,930
As I said at Margaret Thatcher's funeral,
"Shaggers and bitches, unite!"
232
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:55,975
(Both howl)
233
00:11:56,470 --> 00:11:59,382
Prime Minister, you are a naughty boy!
234
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,709
You're damned right, sugar tits.
I'm just bananas for cooch!
235
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:08,002
Oh, I haven't had this much fun
since I dismantled the welfare state,
236
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,699
brick by fucking brick.
237
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:21,326
SUZE: Do you think people can fall in love
at first sight?
238
00:12:21,377 --> 00:12:23,368
I mean, you and Pete, how did you...
239
00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:29,532
Well, I remember we were by this lake, and Pete
undid my shoes and threw them into the lake.
240
00:12:31,604 --> 00:12:34,038
Wait, so he took off your shoes and...
241
00:12:34,091 --> 00:12:37,606
Plonked them into the lake.
Luckily, they were Crocs, so no harm done.
242
00:12:37,661 --> 00:12:39,731
Mum, this sounds a lot like a Kate Bush song.
243
00:12:39,786 --> 00:12:41,777
I think I remember falling in love.
244
00:12:41,832 --> 00:12:44,392
OK, in this memory,
do you get chased by a pack of hounds?
245
00:12:44,439 --> 00:12:46,270
You've heard this story before?
246
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:48,235
Yes. From Kate Bush.
247
00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:49,961
What's the matter, Suze?
248
00:12:50,014 --> 00:12:52,005
I'm a survivor, Mum.
249
00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:55,290
I can build shelters, start fires, poo discretely.
250
00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:58,026
But how do I make a relationship survive?
251
00:12:58,075 --> 00:13:00,828
Right, you know this swinging business?
It's tricky.
252
00:13:00,883 --> 00:13:04,000
If this is about orgy etiquette,
I'll go feed myself to a pack of cannibals.
253
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,167
Oh, Suze, you don't actually think I'm a swinger?
254
00:13:06,217 --> 00:13:09,971
- I saw you snog the Prime Minister.
- Pete is having a massive mid-life crisis.
255
00:13:10,027 --> 00:13:12,416
- I'm just riding the storm.
- But how can you do that?
256
00:13:12,474 --> 00:13:15,307
- To keep him.
- So there's no hope, basically?
257
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,953
Listen...
258
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:21,045
if you really love Tom,
don't let anybody come between you.
259
00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:27,710
(Snoring)
260
00:13:28,637 --> 00:13:29,956
(Muffled cry)
261
00:13:30,762 --> 00:13:33,151
- What's going on?
- You're coming with us.
262
00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:40,289
Our homeland security is under threat
by known knowns,
263
00:13:40,348 --> 00:13:42,464
known unknowns and unknown unknowns,
264
00:13:42,514 --> 00:13:44,982
so unknown that we don't even know
we know that we don't know
265
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,316
we know we don't know what anything means.
266
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:49,278
Hm? Any questions?
267
00:13:49,332 --> 00:13:51,004
Where d'you get a gimp mask?
268
00:13:53,704 --> 00:13:55,342
A man was murdered yesterday.
269
00:13:55,388 --> 00:13:57,618
- And I'm sorry for your...
- Loss? Why?
270
00:13:57,674 --> 00:13:59,426
- Why am I sorry?
- Why did they die?
271
00:14:00,081 --> 00:14:02,072
- Mind if I smoke?
- No.
272
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:10,980
(Coughs)
273
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,949
(Coughs and wheezes)
274
00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:18,684
Did you do a little wee?
275
00:14:18,731 --> 00:14:20,801
- No.
- A tiny one?
276
00:14:20,856 --> 00:14:22,528
Like a thimbleful.
277
00:14:22,581 --> 00:14:24,139
Is this some sort of mind game?
278
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:25,857
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
279
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,707
I'm messing with you.
280
00:14:27,755 --> 00:14:29,746
This is good cop, shit cop.
281
00:14:30,522 --> 00:14:33,195
- Where's creepy cop gone?
- (Scoffs)
282
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:37,406
What do you call that? Twerking?
283
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,133
No, we don't twerk on this team.
284
00:14:39,185 --> 00:14:41,494
I'm making it rain, baby. Give me some juice.
285
00:14:41,552 --> 00:14:43,543
Laura, I need you to focus.
286
00:14:43,597 --> 00:14:44,871
I'm not playing.
287
00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:47,719
Look, I was wrong to shout at you and I'm sorry.
288
00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:48,917
Mates again?
289
00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:50,889
Yeah.
290
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,131
- (Whistle blows)
- Sit!
291
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:57,257
Jesus Christ, Barney!
What the hell is wrong with you?
292
00:14:57,314 --> 00:15:00,670
Hey, hey, Pete, let's time out.
If Barney doesn't want to play...
293
00:15:00,723 --> 00:15:02,554
Life is a game, Tim.
294
00:15:02,608 --> 00:15:05,918
- And this game has no rules.
- So it's not really a game?
295
00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:09,856
I'm gonna crush you,
you japing, Dickens-y dog turd.
296
00:15:10,469 --> 00:15:13,063
I don't think so, pal. Cos I can beat you...
297
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,281
...standing on my head.
298
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,007
Who's ridiculous now?
299
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,813
- Hi, Tom.
- Agh! We need to put you in clogs.
300
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,459
It's Suze. She's gone too far.
301
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,747
So what happened last night, hm?
302
00:15:29,359 --> 00:15:32,237
- Is this about Tom?
- This is about a murder.
303
00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:35,245
Which is why I need to know
exactly what happened last night.
304
00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:37,286
We just chatted.
305
00:15:37,341 --> 00:15:39,730
A man is lying dead with an arrow in his back.
306
00:15:39,787 --> 00:15:41,459
So we need to know...
307
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,666
Was there any petting?
308
00:15:45,242 --> 00:15:49,076
Or, you know,
was it one of those really hot slow-builds?
309
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,804
Are we getting a bit off-topic?
310
00:15:50,857 --> 00:15:53,815
Suze, I promise.
Nothing happened between me and Tom.
311
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,298
OK, hold her down.
312
00:16:01,365 --> 00:16:02,764
- Susan!
- What?
313
00:16:02,809 --> 00:16:06,245
- What are you doing?
- What's it look like? I am waterboarding her.
314
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,811
Outside.
315
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,785
You think I'm jealous of you and Ash?
316
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:17,958
Oh, please! She's a total babe!
317
00:16:18,009 --> 00:16:21,888
D'you really think she'd fall head-over-heels
in love with you at first sight? No!
318
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:25,649
Look, you feel like Ash is your rival,
like she's threatening you.
319
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,508
But just cos you feel something,
doesn't make it true.
320
00:16:28,557 --> 00:16:31,196
Listen to you doing your impression of an adult!
321
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:33,236
God! You're pleased!
322
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,008
You love that she likes you.
323
00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:37,694
She doesn't like me like me.
324
00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:39,863
Does she?
325
00:16:39,908 --> 00:16:42,900
- OK, maybe a little bit.
- Stop smiling!
326
00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:45,390
- You're so shallow!
- Here we go.
327
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:46,796
I'm so this, I'm so that.
328
00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:49,804
I spend my life getting shat on
trying to live up to your expectations.
329
00:16:49,854 --> 00:16:52,652
- I'll tell you something, I wouldn't get this from...
- Who?
330
00:16:52,702 --> 00:16:54,260
No, go on. Who?
331
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:55,625
Ash.
332
00:16:56,191 --> 00:16:57,465
Ow!
333
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,317
Ow! Susan!
334
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,485
Cathy, I refuse to die of boredom.
335
00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:07,651
- I am not boring.
- You're not gripping.
336
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:10,417
He wants me to take this.
337
00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:12,903
Since when did you have cocaine?
338
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:15,595
1999, my brother's bachelor party.
339
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:21,001
I made sure Hunter crashed out of singledom
on a blaze of candy-coated bazongas.
340
00:17:21,058 --> 00:17:24,209
- Blurrggh!
- I am not taking cocaine. It's irresponsible.
341
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:25,904
It's meant to be irresponsible!
342
00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,545
Suze, tell her, drugs can be fun.
343
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,111
Susannah has not taken drugs.
344
00:17:31,165 --> 00:17:34,316
Yes, I have... not taken drugs.
345
00:17:34,373 --> 00:17:38,412
But I hear that they can be
quite pleasantly great.
346
00:17:38,986 --> 00:17:42,615
I thought we could do it and make love...
with the Prime Minister.
347
00:17:43,919 --> 00:17:46,592
You are making me incredibly unhappy, Pete.
348
00:17:46,646 --> 00:17:48,637
- Cathy...
- No!
349
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,126
No, I'm not going to share you any longer.
350
00:17:51,178 --> 00:17:54,375
You've got to choose. It's either swinging or me.
351
00:17:56,713 --> 00:17:58,510
Oh, Cathy.
352
00:17:59,922 --> 00:18:01,719
I've come home.
353
00:18:05,216 --> 00:18:06,205
Probert?
354
00:18:08,063 --> 00:18:09,576
It's time.
355
00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:26,502
One, two, three, four.
356
00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:29,147
♪ I've got to get through this
Let's do this, guys.
357
00:18:30,162 --> 00:18:33,040
♪ I gotta make it, gonna make it,
gonna make it through
358
00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:36,685
♪ Said I'm gonna get through this,
I've gotta get through this...
359
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:39,574
♪ I'm gonna take my, gonna take my...
360
00:18:39,628 --> 00:18:41,619
- (Music stops)
- Go on, Laura!
361
00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:44,233
(Shouting)
362
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,715
♪ Give me just a second then I'll be all right
363
00:18:49,855 --> 00:18:52,927
♪ Surely one more moment
couldn't break my heart
364
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,585
♪ Give me till tomorrow then I'll be OK
365
00:18:57,275 --> 00:19:00,631
♪ Just another day and then I'll hold you tight
366
00:19:02,048 --> 00:19:04,243
♪ When your love is pouring like the rain
367
00:19:04,294 --> 00:19:05,852
♪ I close my eyes and it's gone again
368
00:19:05,898 --> 00:19:09,129
♪ When will I get the chance to say I love you?
369
00:19:09,788 --> 00:19:12,461
Go on, Laura! Go on! Go on! Oh!
370
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:14,592
Unlucky, Laura!
371
00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:19,121
This is it. Mano a mano.
372
00:19:20,377 --> 00:19:22,368
I'm taking your ass down.
373
00:19:23,064 --> 00:19:24,543
Shut up and dance.
374
00:19:25,711 --> 00:19:27,667
(Music begins)
375
00:19:29,481 --> 00:19:30,800
♪ I gotta get through this
376
00:19:31,246 --> 00:19:32,725
♪ I gotta get through this
377
00:19:33,251 --> 00:19:35,924
♪ I gotta make it, gonna make it,
gonna make it through
378
00:19:36,299 --> 00:19:37,937
♪ Said I'm gonna get through this
379
00:19:37,984 --> 00:19:39,463
♪ I'm gonna get through this
380
00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:43,151
♪ I gotta take, gotta take my mind off of you
381
00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:45,995
♪ Give me just a second and I'll be all right
382
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:49,486
♪ Surely one more moment
couldn't break my heart
383
00:19:50,497 --> 00:19:53,170
♪ Give me till tomorrow then I'll be OK
384
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,540
♪ Just another day and then I'll hold you tight
385
00:19:56,593 --> 00:19:58,709
(Music stops)
386
00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:00,670
(Shouting)
387
00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:06,848
(Wild cheering)
388
00:20:09,387 --> 00:20:11,378
You're gonna get so much pussy.
389
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,913
(Cheering and laughing)
390
00:20:20,698 --> 00:20:22,177
What was she saying?
391
00:20:23,024 --> 00:20:25,015
Oh, um... congrats. It was nothing.
392
00:20:26,754 --> 00:20:29,188
- Well, well done.
- Thank you.
393
00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:31,994
Well, see you guys.
394
00:20:32,048 --> 00:20:34,164
I guess the love caravan is rollin' on.
395
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:38,688
You don't have to leave.
Just don't be such a colossal prick.
396
00:20:38,746 --> 00:20:42,022
Don't worry, we're going on a spa break,
rebuild our relationship.
397
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:46,626
The nukes tore open the earth around Billericay.
Cue hot springs and a shitload of magma.
398
00:20:46,687 --> 00:20:48,678
I'm happy for you, Mum.
399
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:53,053
You're a natural athlete, Tim. So fast.
400
00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:56,345
And you have this innate wonderful rhythm.
401
00:20:56,393 --> 00:20:58,588
I'm gonna take all of that at face value.
402
00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:43,505
Wait, wait, wait. What am I doing?
403
00:21:45,685 --> 00:21:48,074
I'm sorry, Ash, I... I can't do this.
404
00:21:48,131 --> 00:21:49,644
I just can't.
405
00:21:49,695 --> 00:21:53,290
Everybody wants to get to heaven,
but nobody wants to die.
406
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:54,903
OK, that's suitably weird.
407
00:21:58,198 --> 00:21:59,392
What the f?
408
00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:07,369
Eugh.
409
00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:10,422
What's happening?
410
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:13,666
What the f...
411
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,119
- (Laura screams)
- Laura!
412
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,841
Laura! Run!
413
00:22:18,893 --> 00:22:20,884
- I'm the Prime Minister!
- Laura!
414
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:23,169
- Laura, run!
- I'm a friend of democracy!
415
00:22:23,225 --> 00:22:25,181
- Tom!
- What are you protecting?
416
00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:30,258
There's nothing here that Tom wasn't willing
to throw away just like that - all for one kiss.
417
00:22:30,324 --> 00:22:32,394
- Who are you?
- You call us Spectrum.
418
00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:35,166
Oh, oh!
419
00:22:37,142 --> 00:22:38,336
Aagh!
420
00:22:38,386 --> 00:22:41,458
Surrender or die. You've got a week to decide.
421
00:22:41,514 --> 00:22:43,744
As a dead man once said,
422
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,711
"Shaggers and bitches, unite!"
423
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,558
♪ CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL:
Bad Moon Rising
424
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,831
♪ I see a bad moon rising
425
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,878
♪ I see trouble on the way
426
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,231
♪ Don't go around tonight
427
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,671
♪ Well, it's bound to take your life
428
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,752
♪ There's a bad moon on the rise
429
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,112
♪ There's a bad moon on the rise
430
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:26,300
Ripped by mstoll
431
00:23:26,350 --> 00:23:30,900
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