Original subtitles

[Hasmukh] Now, can anybody tell me what this represents?

Mookie.

Jijaji, that is a circle.

Yes, it is a circle, [in Hindi] fool!

Actually it's 2% inspiration, 98% perspiration.

No, the human brain has 100% capacity, but we are only using 2% of it.

That's actually not true, they recently did a study that says that humans

use about 90% of their brain capacity.

Well, most of us.

Gautam, I'm not interested in what study is good and what is bad.

I'm not interested in studies.

Ask not what you can...

Ask not what your company can do for you, but what you can do for your company.

Ask yourself, can I increase my brain capacity to 2%

Can I come to work on time? Can I stay late?

Can I educate myself on Citrus 3.0 instead of taking coffee breaks?

Can I answer my emails in a timely fashion?

I think if you really want to uncover the problem here,

it's a lack of worker motivation.

I hate to agree with Prince Charles over here, but I think he's got a point.

As part of the leadership team, we should implement little perks for the employees.

Like Google has those Segways. My wife's company has half-day Fridays.

Yes.

Didn't your wife's company file bankruptcy?

Yes, but they had 100% employee satisfaction.

What's up guys?

Girlie.

Matt, Matt.

Sorry I'm late, I had some meetings in SoHo.

See, company first.

Eyes always open to new opportunities.

Okay, we'll end this meeting here.

Roli, send out an email of the minutes of the meeting to everybody.

No post-it notes, Roli.

-Yeah, Roli. -You shut up, Mookie.

Come in, Matt, come in. Please, take a seat.

So, Matt, tell me...

-How is it going out there? -Good, good. Going great.

Just visited Accutech. It went well.

There is a slight potential possibility there, Hasmukh.

Did you tell them that we are gearing up for Citrus 3.0?

Are you kidding me? I told them we we're geared up for Citrus 5.0 and beyond.

Sly dog...

You know, I haven't told many people this Matt,

but we could really use their business.

No, Hasmukh. They need our business.

Always a salesman. Always a salesman.

Anyway, I gotta head out. Got a dinner meeting tonight.

I just wanted to drop off this month's expense report.

Expense report, but I thought we already did them?

That was last month.

Wish me luck on this one, Hasmukh.

I'm taking Accutech out to dinner at Le Bernardin.

Top notch seafood on the Upper West Side.

Bobby Flay eats there.

[Hyder] This is what they call the golden hour.

11am on a Wednesday, traffic-free, heaven.

You couldn't have timed your flight any better, my friend.

It's my assistant. Her scheduling is impeccable.

Yeah, she sound real cute on the phone, too.

-I beg your pardon? -Uh, allow me to introduce ourselves.

I am Hyder and this is our colleague, Lemont.

You're welcome to a complimentary mineral water

and access to our on-board entertainment system.

Well, thank you, gentlemen.

And, as a special privilege to all of our customers,

we do offer some high-end merchandise for purchase during our ride.

It's a Tissot watch, Swiss made, of course.

It's quite exotic, but I'm in no need of a watch.

It's not simply a watch, you can actually tell time under 300 feet of water.

-It's a collector's item. -Yes, it's one of those.

I do have a friend's birthday coming up.

I'll give you 20 for it.

...plus 39 plus 11.

[sighs] Why is he giving me his water utility bills, I don't understand it.

And look, look at this, look,

a bill for Fruit of the Loom fashion briefs, assorted colors, $7.99.

You know what I need?

I need a new office manager, that's what I need.

Someone who can take care of all this day to day activity.

What happened?

Your nose is red, your chin is wobbling, why are you crying?

[softly] I'm not crying.

Did you have a fight with Papaji again?

Did Bobby bite you?

Do you know who I am?

-Yes. -Do you?

Yeah.

All you do is talk about this stupid office of yours.

Do you know the stress I have at home?

I'm sitting here on the computer all day trying to book auditions.

Then I'm cooking for you, I'm cleaning for you,

I'm caring for Papaji, I'm caring for Bobby.

All my friends, all my friends are doing something meaningful with their lives.

Gunjan, Chugnu, Allokokal, Yogita,

Sneha, you remember Sneha?

Short, big breasts?

Now you remember.

Sneha is making cards. She has her own website.

"Love is lovely."

"You are lovely."

I haven't done anything creative since we got Bobby.

I'm wasting my life with you.

I haven't been to an audition in three months.

You make it sound like I forced you to get Bobby.

I didn't want Bobby, Bobby was your idea.

[music playing]

You are so much more talented than this.

You're just saying that.

You were an actress in Shadi ka Mausaum.

You think Sneha can do something like that? She dreams of being on television.

That was five years ago and it was only two lines.

I haven't done anything since.

Dimple, something will happen.

[door opens]

Is everything okay, Beta?

Yes, Papa.

-Is Bobby okay? -Mm-hmm.

Hm...

[door closes]

I know I still have it in me.

-Acting? -Painting.

Painting? You want to paint now?

Yeah, I was always really good at it, remember?

I think it would be good to do that until the acting industry picks up.

But it's so hard you know, with Bobby.

They say an artist needs to be alone, in a garden or something like that.

Painting, alone.

-Painting... -Dimple, Dimple.

It's not too late to take Bobby back.

You can take him back within 90 days, I still have the receipt.

-Bobby's our child. -Bobby's a dog.

Don't call him that.

Sorry I'm late, minor traffic delay on the GWB.

-What's all this? -Hiring a new office manager.

"I'm a hard worker, please call me."

"I'm a fun-loving 35 year old looking for a good time with a good company."

-God, these are hopeless. -Hyder.

I need your help.

All right, two words, South Indians.

They're smart, Hasmukh. They're the brains behind all the big tech companies.

No, Hyder, I need you to take care of Bobby for a couple of days.

Oh, that's why you asked me here.

Where's Dimple? Is everything okay with you two?

She's fine. She just needs to be alone for a couple of days.

Alone? You two are still sharing the same bed?

Oh, yes, yes, no, no, she just needs time to...

paint.

[in Hindi] Where's Bobby? I need to give him his medication.

Papa, Hasmukh took Bobby for the day.

[in Hindi] With Hasmukh? Alone

Does he even know how to walk him?

Papa that's not fair on Hasmukh, okay? He needs to bond with Bobby also.

Papa, let me paint now.

[barking]

Lemont.

Good news and bad news. Good news, our merchandise is depleted.

Watches, boom box, gold chains, everything is gone.

Oh, a step ahead of you.

A list of all the garage sales in the Tri-State area.

-Nicely done. -[Bobby barks]

Also, Hasmukh is interested in the pet service idea.

I thought we weren't going to do that until like, 2016.

We're not, but we'll add him to the email list.

Bobby!

Bobby! Bobby!

Bobby!

Okay, okay. Thank you Lemont.

-Any update? -Yes, actually. All right...

Lemont has searched this five mile radius right here.

And so far he has found zero animal sightings.

Oh, how am I going to look Dimple in the eye?

And Papaji, he loves that dog.

We'll find the dog, okay? We just need more time.

In the meantime, you tell them I borrowed Bobby,

that Samantha was thinking about maybe getting a dog,

and that this would be good practice for her.

They'll never believe that.

Do you have a better idea, Mr. CEO?

Please. Here, why don't you find some decent workers for this place?

I'll take care of the rest.

Balan...

Sree-ram-akrishnan.

From Chennai.

-Oh, hey. -Hey.

-You're home. -I am home.

How's Bobby doing with Hyder and Samantha?

He's great, yeah, she's just taking him for a test drive.

You know she wants a dog.

Are you ready for this?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I couldn't find a title for it at first, then it hit me.

"Woman's Best Friend."

Oh. Wow.

It's like a mental workout, you know?

I haven't felt this creative in a long time.

It's mentally exhausting.

But then it just flowed out of me, you know.

This is great, look at the facial expression. It's, it's so...

creative.

Babu, today when you took Bobby you showed me so much love

Mm.

This is my love back to you.

You've got a really good eye there.

That's a beautiful design.

And it's a steal for $20.

I'll give you $2.50.

$2.50?

My departed wife bought that on our last trip.

[Dimple] You could put it in your office.

-Oh, no, no. -Yes!

No, I couldn't, I couldn't.

The staff... would not appreciate it.

How about your brother? He'd love a picture like that in his house, you know?

It's for you, baby.

When is that Hyder going to bring Bobby back?

Oh, uh, couple of days?

A couple of days? He needs his medication.

[in Hindi] Wow! Incredible...

[doorbell rings]

[knocking]

[softly] It's me.

Thank you Hasmukh for letting me borrow your dog like we planned.

Samantha loved him.

Don't overdo it.

We have a saying in Lebanese.

[speaks in Lebanese]

"When the wolf comes for the sheep, the dog goes to defecate."

Where did you find him?

He was at your neighbor's house, yeah.

Caught him in the corner of my eye

while handling an important business transaction.

Bobby, Bobby, I missed you so much!

[speaking in Hindi]

[in Hindi] Next time you want to take him, you ask me. Not this guy.

I don't speak Hindi, I understand none of that.

Hyder, thank you so much for finding Bobby.

You literally saved my life.

[shouting]

This is not Bobby.

I called the police department.

We put posters up everywhere.

Tell Papaji not to worry.

We will find Bobby. I promise.

Papa hasn't spoken a word all day. He thinks you took Bobby

to the dog shelter and are covering up your trails.

Hyder took that dog by mistake. You've got to believe me.

They neighbors came over and filed a police report

for dog-napping.

We officially have a police record now.

[Papaji moans]

I have my whole team working on finding Bobby as we speak.

Okay, you have to believe me, we are going to find him, it's priority number one.

[sniffs]

Don't cry.

I miss him too.

I even hung up his painting in my office just like you wanted me to.

I know I saw it.

Looks good.

Look, Dimple, I have to go now.

Okay, I--I... huh?

No, I have to go, I have to go, I'll call you back later with details, bye.

Oh.

Sorry, sorry, please, come in, come in.

[clears throat] Take a seat.

-Sorry about that, just a little-- -Family problems?

Yeah...

[in Punjabi] We had a cat named Kishore.

Walked out of our house one day.

One year later, he came back just like that.

They always come back.

Look what I sketched for you

[sighs]

I can't get my mind off him.

I'm just going to go make some more.

[in Punjabi] She can stay calm by painting. What can I do?

I don't have my dog

and my wife is brainwashed by those Hare Brahma people.

I have nothing.

[in Hindi and English] Beti, please get the stuff for the prayer.

That is a very sad story, sir.

But, you look like a good man.

And this dog look good too.

I think you will find him, sir.

Thank you, Balan.

Sree-ram-akrishan.

Sreeramakrishan, sir.

Sree-ram-akrishan.

No no, Sreeramakrishan, sir.

Sreeramakrishan.

-Yeah. -Good, good, good.

MS Word from Jaya Group College,

MS Excel from N.I.I.T.,

MS Paint...

AP tech, sir, very good.

Balan, do you have any Citrus experience?

C... Citrus?

Citrus 1.0, 1.2, 2.0?

Yes, I...

I do have this, I learn it, in college.

Great. You're going to be doing more office management and clerical work.

But it's good that you know it.

We're currently implementing Citrus 2.0

but have full capacity when 3.0 launches.

-Capacity. -Mm.

My goal is to be the only company implementing Citrus 3.0,

market leadership, we dominate the industry.

Yes, yes, yes sir, yes.

Now, Balan.

-I don't tell many people this. -No?

But the president of Citrus is a very close personal friend of mine.

-Personal... -Mm-hmm.

We've gotten many awards from their company.

This is one of them, here.

Oh, yes, I see it.

I know what it is like to be far away from friends and family, Balan.

When I was just 14 years old,

my family shipped me off to a boarding school in New Zealand.

-Tch-tch-tch. -New Zealand.

That god-forsaken dive at the bottom of the world.

Gee...

Can you imagine it? I was so lonely.

Wandering the streets looking for any friends I could.

So far away from loved ones.

But it made me a man.

Good, sir.

This is the closest thing to a Segway we're going to get.

All right, you know what? Watch this, I'm about to bust a sick wheelie.

-All right, I'm up next. -You're gonna be so--

Don't worry about that, Balan.

So, your father is from the south?

From Pondicherry, sir.

And your mother?

Chen--Chennai.

Mm, good.

-Good. -Yes.

Now, in terms of transportation, do you have a car in good working condition?

Bus #188 from my house to here only $2.25.

But for $25 I get monthly pass.

Well...

Balan...

I think you're perfectly qualified for this position, congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you sir.

Now, there's only one thing I ask of all my employees.

[scooter whirring]

[Hasmukh] Ask not what your company can do for you,

but what you can do--

Oh my God!

-[grimaces] -I'm okay.

Oh no.

I think the problem is it's broken.

This is definitely a workers comp situation.

[Hasmukh] What the hell is this?

Nothing, nothing Jijaji.

Team, meet Balan.

Balan has just been appointed our new office manager.

It is with pleasure.

Um, Jijaji...

I thought I was going to be the office manager after I finished my internship.

-Not now Mookie, not now. Yeah? -Okay, all right.

Haven't I seen you somewhere...?

The bus depot? No? Laundromat?

Balan is from Chennai.

I am very excited in working with you all in implementing the circus.

-Citrus. -Citrus.

He's on a very steep learning curve right now, but that's great Balan.

We'll see you bright and early next week.

Oh, I--I'll see you next week.

-Take care, Beta. -Okay, all right.

I thought the whole point was to make the company more diverse.

It's getting harder and harder to sell the whole "All-American" company concept.

I know I've seen him.

Not all south Indians look the same.

Okay, a statement like that could land us in a lawsuit.

If we had an H.R. department.

-Um, Jijaji? -What is it now, Mookie?

I think she's right, I don't... I don't think he's all there.

I think he's a little bit bagoof.

What the hell are you talking about? He's tip top!

That is not an exit.

-This way? This way? -No, it's that way out.

-Okay? -Yeah, ta-ta.

What?

What?

Check it out.

It's a painting.

There's a museum on the next block, it's probably from there.

[cries out in pain]

Balan? Hey Balan, what are you doing by my car Balan?

Sorry sir, I was just...

Bobby!

Oh, oh.

I was just coming out of the office, and I saw him,

and I picked him up and he bit me.

Very strong bite for a little dog.

I--I can't believe it.

Oh it's nothing really.

We've been looking for him for... for so long. I can't believe it.

Oh, don't mention it.

I will uh, I will see you next week, sir. My bus is leaving.

Thank you so much, Balan.

Of course, sir. I am with you.

[chanting]

[chanting continues]

[Bobby barks]

Bobby?!

Bobby!

[in Punjabi] See, I told you. Everything ends well in the end!

Thank you Lord!

So you're saying this is something of an investment.

Oh yeah, it's like buying a house really.

You know, my wife would enjoy it, she loves art.

Do you take credit card?

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