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1
00:00:10,599 --> 00:00:12,801
Jim: You always said you'd
never leave Kansas City
2
00:00:12,835 --> 00:00:14,638
unless it was for something really big.
3
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:16,939
Well, I just got an offer
from New York, darlin'.
4
00:00:16,972 --> 00:00:17,820
The Yankees?
5
00:00:17,828 --> 00:00:18,574
The Mets.
6
00:00:18,662 --> 00:00:19,519
Ohh.
7
00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:21,723
Yeah, I know, but I'd still
be the voice of New York.
8
00:00:21,757 --> 00:00:23,726
And you and I would finally
be the king and queen
9
00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,527
of a great city... of the city.
10
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,529
Well, Kansas City's a great city.
11
00:00:27,563 --> 00:00:28,898
Yeah, for ribs, and that's it.
12
00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:30,133
And Memphis is better.
13
00:00:30,165 --> 00:00:32,468
[Gasps] Jim, we have neighbors.
14
00:00:32,502 --> 00:00:34,237
Watch your mouth.
15
00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:36,606
We've built a life for ourselves here.
16
00:00:36,639 --> 00:00:38,875
It's also small-time, is what it is.
17
00:00:38,907 --> 00:00:40,676
I'm... I'm a peacock, darlin'.
18
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:43,679
I need to strut my stuff
out there on the world stage.
19
00:00:43,712 --> 00:00:46,749
[Sighs] I love you, Jim.
20
00:00:46,782 --> 00:00:49,017
And I want you to be happy.
21
00:00:50,819 --> 00:00:51,954
So...
22
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,023
let's do it.
23
00:00:55,057 --> 00:00:56,693
- Really?
- Yeah.
24
00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:57,993
- New York?
- Yeah.
25
00:00:58,026 --> 00:00:59,895
Honey, I love you. I love you.
26
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,231
- [Laughs]
- Mwah.
27
00:01:01,264 --> 00:01:03,532
You know, the first
time you said that to me
28
00:01:03,566 --> 00:01:05,132
was 20 years ago today.
29
00:01:05,798 --> 00:01:06,947
Is today the 9th?
30
00:01:07,013 --> 00:01:07,687
Mm-hmm.
31
00:01:07,711 --> 00:01:09,038
Oh, how could I have forgotten that?
32
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,672
- I'm sorry.
- Aww.
33
00:01:10,706 --> 00:01:11,975
You can make it up to me later.
34
00:01:12,007 --> 00:01:13,042
Oh-kay!
35
00:01:13,075 --> 00:01:14,076
- [Laughs]
- All right.
36
00:01:14,109 --> 00:01:16,578
I might need a little
nap first, but yeah, yeah.
37
00:01:16,611 --> 00:01:17,779
- [Slap!]
- Oh!
38
00:01:17,813 --> 00:01:20,049
- Love you, honey.
- I love you, too!
39
00:01:20,082 --> 00:01:21,050
[Door opens]
40
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,551
Supper will be on the stove!
41
00:01:22,585 --> 00:01:23,653
Thank you.
42
00:01:23,686 --> 00:01:25,020
[Door closes]
43
00:01:30,225 --> 00:01:32,728
[Car engine starts]
44
00:01:34,763 --> 00:01:36,532
[Dialing]
45
00:01:36,566 --> 00:01:38,267
[Car drives off]
46
00:01:38,301 --> 00:01:39,668
[Line ringing]
47
00:01:39,701 --> 00:01:40,903
Bob: [Filtered voice] Bob Greenwald.
48
00:01:40,936 --> 00:01:43,772
You shut your mouth, you little bitch.
49
00:01:43,805 --> 00:01:45,140
Yes, Mistress L.
50
00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:47,043
Now, I want you to grab some nitrous,
51
00:01:47,076 --> 00:01:51,080
and you get your tiny dick to my house.
52
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,549
[Squeaking]
53
00:02:10,266 --> 00:02:12,969
[Man speaking indistinctly in distance]
54
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:16,305
How is it still on fire after a week?!
55
00:02:16,338 --> 00:02:18,675
It's like we're in hell!
56
00:02:18,707 --> 00:02:20,842
I feel that hell would
be more impressive.
57
00:02:20,876 --> 00:02:22,945
These FEMA assholes won't let us play
58
00:02:22,979 --> 00:02:25,715
just 'cause the ground
temperature is 157.
59
00:02:25,739 --> 00:02:26,897
They wear cleats, you know!
60
00:02:26,961 --> 00:02:27,717
[ Cellphone rings ]
61
00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:29,252
I'm gonna take this.
62
00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:31,888
[Chuckling] Okay.
63
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,088
Joe Buck.
64
00:02:33,122 --> 00:02:35,758
Are we "randomly call each other
during the day" friends now?
65
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:37,627
Mm, no, not quite.
66
00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:39,261
I've got you listed as
67
00:02:39,294 --> 00:02:42,264
Golden-Voiced Homeless
Man number 2 in my phone.
68
00:02:42,298 --> 00:02:44,602
Look, the way I see it,
69
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:47,603
Musburger's turd means
I owe you a favor now.
70
00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:50,306
I've been making some calls, and I may
71
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,641
have gotten you a job in baseball.
72
00:02:52,675 --> 00:02:55,044
Oh, Joe, I would kill up to five people
73
00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:57,180
for you if you could get
me the hell outta here.
74
00:02:57,212 --> 00:03:00,616
Atlanta's thinking about
making a change at play-by-play,
75
00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:02,652
but you make them nervous.
76
00:03:02,685 --> 00:03:05,921
So, here's the deal.
You got to go down...
77
00:03:05,955 --> 00:03:07,323
[Sniffs]
78
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,925
You got to go down to their
AAA club in New Orleans
79
00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,227
and work for a while.
80
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,260
Oh, my God, that's incredible.
81
00:03:12,294 --> 00:03:13,296
And tell 'em not to be nervous.
82
00:03:13,329 --> 00:03:15,031
Tell 'em I don't drink...
83
00:03:15,063 --> 00:03:17,615
hard liquor between the
hours of 6:00 and 11:00 a.m.
84
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:18,655
What about drugs?
85
00:03:18,687 --> 00:03:20,002
Oh, no, the cocaine, that's just...
86
00:03:20,036 --> 00:03:22,372
it's like little confidence
cups of coffee during the day,
87
00:03:22,404 --> 00:03:23,740
little bumps. That's all.
88
00:03:23,772 --> 00:03:25,008
Buddy, listen.
89
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,876
If you can make it no booze
90
00:03:26,908 --> 00:03:29,211
between 6:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.,
91
00:03:29,245 --> 00:03:30,947
and coke only on the weekends,
92
00:03:30,979 --> 00:03:32,881
I think I can hook this up for you.
93
00:03:32,914 --> 00:03:34,417
All right, there, mommy.
94
00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:37,485
Okay, but either way, this
calls for a celebration.
95
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,818
The only catch is you
have to start immediately.
96
00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:40,689
[Sniffing] Ahh.
97
00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:42,161
What was that?
98
00:03:42,217 --> 00:03:43,159
What was that?
99
00:03:43,192 --> 00:03:45,685
- Who do you think you are?!
- Oh, oh, I gotta go.
100
00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:46,645
Thank you, Joe Buck.
101
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,698
[Scoffs] Let me know.
102
00:03:54,836 --> 00:03:56,838
This is crap.
103
00:03:56,872 --> 00:03:58,174
Who do you think you are?!
104
00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:00,175
You think you're such a
big shot, Mr. FEMA guy!
105
00:04:00,209 --> 00:04:01,944
- All right. Okay.
- You know who you are?
106
00:04:01,977 --> 00:04:04,013
You're just the orderly that's summoned
107
00:04:04,045 --> 00:04:05,313
when America shits itself!
108
00:04:05,347 --> 00:04:07,683
All right, easy there.
Hey, Jake LaMotta, easy.
109
00:04:07,717 --> 00:04:09,085
Hey, let him go.
110
00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:12,955
Come on, Jules. My
goodness, it's not his fault.
111
00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:15,758
[Panting] I know.
112
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,693
It's Pennsylvania Shale's.
113
00:04:23,314 --> 00:04:25,917
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
114
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,136
I'm playing solitaire.
115
00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:29,593
Yeah, I got addicted to the
solitaire on my office computer,
116
00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:30,661
so I come in here...
117
00:04:30,694 --> 00:04:32,328
You set fire to my field?!
118
00:04:32,362 --> 00:04:34,064
I heard about the natural phenomenon
119
00:04:34,097 --> 00:04:36,000
occurring at the
stadium. That is a shame.
120
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,367
I just want to assure you that we...
121
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,002
Just be real for one God damn second
122
00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:40,504
and admit that you set fire to my field
123
00:04:40,537 --> 00:04:42,439
because you want my team to go under
124
00:04:42,472 --> 00:04:43,741
for some bullshit reason!
125
00:04:43,773 --> 00:04:47,244
I would never, ever
do anything like that.
126
00:04:47,276 --> 00:04:50,113
And even if I did, I
would never admit to it
127
00:04:50,146 --> 00:04:52,082
'cause I'm assuming you're recording me.
128
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,250
What?
129
00:04:54,283 --> 00:04:56,786
Come on. Slide it over.
130
00:04:56,819 --> 00:04:58,521
Okay.
131
00:05:00,357 --> 00:05:01,792
- Fine.
- [Cellphone slides]
132
00:05:01,824 --> 00:05:03,793
[Cellphone beeps]
133
00:05:03,826 --> 00:05:05,661
Spy pen, please.
134
00:05:05,694 --> 00:05:08,999
The one just pokin' on out of the bag.
135
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,368
That's good.
136
00:05:12,401 --> 00:05:15,438
All right. [Clears throat]
137
00:05:15,472 --> 00:05:16,739
Wow, are you kidding me?
138
00:05:16,773 --> 00:05:18,742
You have a record
player in your boardroom?
139
00:05:18,775 --> 00:05:20,544
- Shh, shh, shh.
- [Spiritual chanting]
140
00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:22,112
It just sounds warmer.
141
00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:23,514
My God, you're so sick.
142
00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:25,682
Look, this is nothing personal, Jules.
143
00:05:25,715 --> 00:05:28,251
I genuinely like you.
144
00:05:28,285 --> 00:05:31,054
You are very, very good-looking,
145
00:05:31,088 --> 00:05:33,290
but the forces you're
facing are bigger than me.
146
00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:35,292
They're bigger than Pennsylvania Shale.
147
00:05:35,324 --> 00:05:38,761
Someday, when everything
switches over to solar panels
148
00:05:38,795 --> 00:05:42,432
in a hundred years, or,
you know, God willing, 200,
149
00:05:42,465 --> 00:05:45,335
a guy like me is gonna be having
the exact same conversation
150
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,838
with someone who owns the
best place to catch the sun.
151
00:05:47,871 --> 00:05:50,174
Or maybe it'd even
sound different, like...
152
00:05:50,206 --> 00:05:52,341
like that future
language in "Cloud Atlas."
153
00:05:52,374 --> 00:05:53,709
Oh, my God, I... Have you seen?
154
00:05:53,742 --> 00:05:57,848
That movie is wild.
155
00:05:57,881 --> 00:05:59,383
[Spiritual chanting continues]
156
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:00,850
What were we talking
about right before that?
157
00:06:00,884 --> 00:06:02,485
All right, asshole.
158
00:06:02,518 --> 00:06:04,588
I thought that my revenge
was gonna be satisfying,
159
00:06:04,621 --> 00:06:07,491
but I guess I'll just
have to settle [blows]
160
00:06:07,523 --> 00:06:08,691
for petty.
161
00:06:08,725 --> 00:06:10,794
What... what do we got here?
162
00:06:10,826 --> 00:06:14,598
It's something from a
naturally occurring puddle
163
00:06:14,631 --> 00:06:15,833
inside the visitor bullpen.
164
00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:17,600
No, no. Don't, please, don't!
165
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:19,169
- Ha!
- Not the vinyl!
166
00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:21,704
Oh, my God, the smell! [Gags]
167
00:06:21,737 --> 00:06:24,807
Aah! Aah! Aah!
168
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,542
[Spiritual chanting continues]
169
00:06:26,576 --> 00:06:30,647
Aaaaaaah!
170
00:06:30,679 --> 00:06:34,283
It burns! It's burning my eyes!
171
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:37,454
Make it stop. It burns!
172
00:06:41,691 --> 00:06:42,826
[Pants unzip]
173
00:06:42,859 --> 00:06:47,364
[Ringtone plays NFL
broadcast theme music]
174
00:06:47,396 --> 00:06:50,166
- What'd you decide, Jim?
- [Urinating]
175
00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:51,701
I'm torn, Joe Buck.
176
00:06:51,735 --> 00:06:55,352
I want the job, of course,
but the problem is Jules.
177
00:06:55,463 --> 00:06:57,867
I love her, and I'm terrified of her.
178
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,568
Probably in equal measure.
179
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,769
Look, I think I've given
you the wrong impression.
180
00:07:01,802 --> 00:07:03,706
Uh, I just wanted to do you a solid.
181
00:07:03,739 --> 00:07:07,443
I didn't volunteer to be the
guy you come to for life advice.
182
00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:09,310
You ever mad eye contact with someone
183
00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:10,478
while they stuck a finger
184
00:07:10,511 --> 00:07:12,148
farther and farther up your butt?
185
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,315
And you don't know how
much more you can handle,
186
00:07:14,348 --> 00:07:15,483
but they do?
187
00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:17,252
I'm in the bathroom right now.
188
00:07:17,285 --> 00:07:18,720
Ah, just answer the question, Joe.
189
00:07:18,754 --> 00:07:20,384
I was born in Florida.
190
00:07:20,431 --> 00:07:22,177
Of course I've had a finger in my ass.
191
00:07:22,183 --> 00:07:24,921
Then you know what it's
like to be in love, Joe Buck.
192
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,662
I'm hanging up now.
193
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:27,762
Hey...
194
00:07:29,364 --> 00:07:31,724
Fucking Brockmire.
195
00:07:31,756 --> 00:07:35,171
Hey! I have great news.
196
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:38,206
Don't tell me those bastards
agreed to accept responsibility.
197
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,574
No, they kicked me off their property
198
00:07:39,607 --> 00:07:40,731
and file a restraining order against me.
199
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:41,842
But then FEMA called and said
200
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,866
that the last fire finally
went out on the field.
201
00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:47,870
So we can re-sod the grass
and play our last game.
202
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,485
Are you ready?
203
00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:51,720
I mean, I got nowhere else to be.
204
00:07:51,752 --> 00:07:53,688
[Sighs]
205
00:07:53,721 --> 00:07:55,823
Jim: So, we have to do
what to pay off your loan?
206
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:58,327
I have to sell a week's worth
of concessions is one game,
207
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,077
and we have to win to stay above .500.
208
00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:01,464
Forgive my negativity,
209
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,331
but you're not gonna
sell that much in one day.
210
00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:06,235
Nobody's gonna eat 15 hot dogs.
211
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,304
[Rowdy laughter]
212
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,342
They might drink 15 beers.
213
00:08:13,374 --> 00:08:14,877
You know, we never did better business
214
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,645
than when we forfeited the Butler game
215
00:08:16,677 --> 00:08:18,314
and everybody just stayed and drank.
216
00:08:18,346 --> 00:08:19,948
All right, so we get the entire stadium
217
00:08:19,982 --> 00:08:21,717
to get as drunk as humanly possible.
218
00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:22,884
I love that plan.
219
00:08:22,917 --> 00:08:25,220
Swing the bat, hit the ball
220
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,922
-
Knock it right over the wall
- Ahh.
221
00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:30,691
It's time to play a baseball game
222
00:08:30,725 --> 00:08:34,696
Step right to the
plate and take your aim
223
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:37,633
See the home team score the winning run
224
00:08:37,665 --> 00:08:40,235
Okay, so, I posted about
you doing a live podcast
225
00:08:40,268 --> 00:08:43,371
on your Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook.
226
00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:45,406
Maybe we could also
live stream it, right?
227
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,844
Maybe one of those, uh, PayPal
donate buttons generate some,
228
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,613
uh... What do you call it?
Some crowdsource money, huh?
229
00:08:51,647 --> 00:08:55,350
Yeah. That's a... a great idea.
230
00:08:55,384 --> 00:08:56,585
What can I say?
231
00:08:56,618 --> 00:08:57,820
I learned from the best, didn't I?
232
00:08:57,852 --> 00:08:59,487
- [Slaps back]
- All right, here we go.
233
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,956
Let's play a baseball game
234
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:04,431
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
to Morristown Stadium.
235
00:09:04,454 --> 00:09:06,327
We have got a heck of a ballgame
236
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,830
planned for you here this afternoon.
237
00:09:07,863 --> 00:09:10,599
Now, in order to keep
the Frackers right here
238
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:12,471
in Morristown where they belong,
239
00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:13,812
we have decided to hold
240
00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:15,590
a stadium-wide drinkin' contest.
241
00:09:15,782 --> 00:09:19,391
That's right, a stadium-wide
drinkin' contest.
242
00:09:19,608 --> 00:09:21,610
The rules of this game are simple.
243
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:23,778
After every inning, drink a beer.
244
00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:26,315
After every run scored, drink a beer.
245
00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:28,850
Heck, after ever
strikeout, drink a beer.
246
00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:31,807
Oh, if the guy sittin'
next to you drinks a beer,
247
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,259
- you got to drink a beer.
- [Cheering]
248
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,792
And drink a beer every time
you hear me say the magic words,
249
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:39,113
"Hey, everybody, drink a beer!"
250
00:09:39,176 --> 00:09:42,898
So, good luck to us and
good luck to our Frackers.
251
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,333
[Switch clicks]
252
00:09:44,365 --> 00:09:46,601
Are you gonna die?
253
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:47,753
Probably not.
254
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:50,672
But, hey, if somethin'
should happen, Charles,
255
00:09:50,706 --> 00:09:53,008
I just... I want to thank
you for all your assistance
256
00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,710
and your companionship. You just...
257
00:09:54,743 --> 00:09:56,945
believe it or not,
you're the best friend
258
00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,380
I have on this earth.
259
00:09:59,648 --> 00:10:01,884
That seemed to terrify you. Why is that?
260
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:03,719
Well, it's 'cause...
261
00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:06,588
I could say the same thing about you.
262
00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:10,591
I really need to get my shit together.
263
00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:12,461
Oh, welcome to the
club, my young friend.
264
00:10:12,494 --> 00:10:13,896
Welcome to the club. I'll drink to that.
265
00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:15,596
To gettin' shit together.
266
00:10:15,629 --> 00:10:19,368
22 beers for the price of 21, guys.
267
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,469
Hi again. Whoo-hoo!
268
00:10:21,503 --> 00:10:23,906
Yep, okay. Good on you.
269
00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:25,973
More beer... we need more beer!
270
00:10:26,007 --> 00:10:29,812
Jim: Yoshi workin' on an 0-2
count to the leadoff batter.
271
00:10:32,547 --> 00:10:34,383
[Yells]
272
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,852
Oh, I haven't seen gas
like that from Yoshi
273
00:10:36,884 --> 00:10:38,920
since he played for the Yankees.
274
00:10:38,953 --> 00:10:41,489
That is the first strikeout
of the game, folks,
275
00:10:41,523 --> 00:10:44,625
and that means that we
are drinkin' a beer!
276
00:10:44,658 --> 00:10:47,495
- [Cheering]
- Everybody drink a beer.
277
00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:49,365
Cheers!
278
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,768
279
00:10:55,481 --> 00:10:56,497
Jim: You know what?
280
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,139
Folks, everybody burp with me.
281
00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,508
Everybody, one, two, three...
282
00:10:59,541 --> 00:11:01,143
[All belching]
283
00:11:01,176 --> 00:11:02,878
Jules: I don't care if they puke.
284
00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:03,979
Just keep selling beer!
285
00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:06,148
Man: Whoo! Move it!
286
00:11:06,181 --> 00:11:07,648
Next.
287
00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:08,717
That do?
288
00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:11,552
Here is your change.
289
00:11:11,586 --> 00:11:13,422
Ah-haha!
290
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,891
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
291
00:11:15,923 --> 00:11:19,727
Move y'all big ass! Ha ha ha!
292
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,829
Jim: Little pop-up to
the third-base side.
293
00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,867
Uribe giving chase. Does he have room?
294
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:26,634
- He does!
- [Cheers and applause]
295
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:28,504
That'll end the third,
296
00:11:28,537 --> 00:11:32,408
and that means that we are
drinkin' a beer, Morristown!
297
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,910
- Everybody drink a beer!
- [Tab pops]
298
00:11:34,942 --> 00:11:37,178
Ha! Salute.
299
00:11:37,211 --> 00:11:38,713
[Cheers and applause]
300
00:11:39,914 --> 00:11:43,518
No sipping, everybody.
Chugging only. Come on.
301
00:11:47,589 --> 00:11:50,826
Man: Yeah, Pedro!
302
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:54,796
[Slurring] All right,
bot... bottom of the fifth.
303
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,698
Oh, here he comes.
304
00:11:56,730 --> 00:12:00,328
Folks, if you are feeling the
breeze out there in left field,
305
00:12:00,368 --> 00:12:01,470
that is coming from
the bat of John Elton,
306
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,906
who has struck out
swingin' three times today.
307
00:12:03,938 --> 00:12:05,673
Hey! Shut up!
308
00:12:05,706 --> 00:12:07,208
Hey, you shut up.
309
00:12:07,241 --> 00:12:10,913
Just... just concentrate
on the ball for once.
310
00:12:13,047 --> 00:12:17,619
Oh! Somebody just set
that vacuum on blow!
311
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:20,122
Home run for John Elton!
312
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,723
That just made the score 1-0.
313
00:12:22,757 --> 00:12:23,792
My goodness!
314
00:12:23,825 --> 00:12:26,994
That means that we are drinkin' a beer!
315
00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:30,466
Drink a beer, everybody.
316
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,167
Mmm!
317
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,654
That is the unlikeliest
beer I have ever drunk.
318
00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:38,611
Home run for John Elton.
319
00:12:38,686 --> 00:12:40,908
Oh! Well, that's for you, too, son.
320
00:12:40,942 --> 00:12:43,578
That's for you. Congratulations.
321
00:12:43,611 --> 00:12:44,679
Mm!
322
00:12:44,712 --> 00:12:47,817
[Cheers and applause]
323
00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:54,045
All right, now, it's time for
the seventh-inning stretch.
324
00:12:54,156 --> 00:12:56,284
Or you... you can just stay sitting
325
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,965
if standing is too hard for you.
326
00:12:58,036 --> 00:12:59,194
Whoo!
327
00:12:59,226 --> 00:13:02,930
Anyway, mm, mm, mm.
328
00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:04,933
Ohh.
329
00:13:04,966 --> 00:13:07,536
Mwah! [Grunts]
330
00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:10,071
Hey, everybody. Hey, Morristown.
331
00:13:10,105 --> 00:13:13,041
Why do men do that at the urinal?
332
00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:16,577
Why do they lean their
head on the... on the wall?
333
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:18,679
What's up with that?
334
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:21,182
- Anyway...
- Keep 'em comin'!
335
00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:25,153
Jules: Guys, not throwing it, please.
336
00:13:25,186 --> 00:13:28,090
Oh, this microphone
feels cool on my head.
337
00:13:28,123 --> 00:13:31,660
[Adding machine rattling]
338
00:13:32,691 --> 00:13:33,662
[Exhales sharply]
339
00:13:33,695 --> 00:13:35,163
Everybody...
340
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:38,867
Ooh, hoo, everybody's feelin' it now.
341
00:13:38,899 --> 00:13:40,903
I know that I am.
342
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,571
[Chuckles] Whoa.
343
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,139
M-Morristown, um...
344
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,741
- [Door opens]
- Jim, we did it!
345
00:13:46,774 --> 00:13:48,209
[Laughing] We did it!
346
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:49,778
We made more than enough
to pay off the loan.
347
00:13:49,811 --> 00:13:51,980
- You can stop drinking.
- Oh, that's so good.
348
00:13:52,013 --> 00:13:53,916
That's so good!
349
00:13:53,948 --> 00:13:55,683
Oh, my God!
350
00:13:55,716 --> 00:13:57,586
What are you doing? Stop!
351
00:13:57,619 --> 00:14:00,821
I'm celebratin'. Come
on, you got to celebrate.
352
00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:02,257
We'll still have to win the game.
353
00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:04,592
Uh, wha...
354
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:08,129
We're not winnin'? Come
on. What's the score?
355
00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:09,998
Pfft!
356
00:14:10,031 --> 00:14:12,601
I'm drunk. [Laughs]
357
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,268
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm drunk.
358
00:14:14,302 --> 00:14:15,604
God damn it, I'm drunk.
359
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,606
Jim, we're up by a run,
360
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,341
but the bases are loaded with no outs
361
00:14:19,374 --> 00:14:20,808
in the top of the ninth.
362
00:14:20,841 --> 00:14:23,642
- Oh, that is not good.
- No.
363
00:14:23,769 --> 00:14:24,999
- So I am drinking a beer.
- Don't...
364
00:14:25,182 --> 00:14:27,148
- No, no, no, stop, stop.
- Stop, please.
365
00:14:27,182 --> 00:14:31,119
Jules, when'd you get here?
366
00:14:31,152 --> 00:14:33,754
Hey, how we doin'... doin' on money?
367
00:14:33,788 --> 00:14:35,289
Oh, dear God.
368
00:14:35,322 --> 00:14:36,958
I gotta pee. Oh, my...
369
00:14:36,991 --> 00:14:38,026
Ah, pfft!
370
00:14:44,506 --> 00:14:45,541
Come on.
371
00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:46,842
Ah!
372
00:14:46,874 --> 00:14:48,809
Oh, shit.
373
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:51,213
He finally snapped.
374
00:14:52,781 --> 00:14:55,184
[Clapping]
375
00:14:55,217 --> 00:14:56,852
Time-out.
376
00:14:56,885 --> 00:14:58,287
Time, time, time.
377
00:14:58,319 --> 00:14:59,621
Announcer's time.
378
00:14:59,653 --> 00:15:00,888
Bring it in.
379
00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:02,623
Frackers.
380
00:15:02,656 --> 00:15:04,358
Come on, bring it in, move it!
381
00:15:04,392 --> 00:15:06,895
Whoo. All right.
382
00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:08,629
How you doin', Yoshi?
383
00:15:08,662 --> 00:15:10,698
All right, good. Yo, hustle it up.
384
00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:12,901
Good hustle, good hustle. [Claps]
385
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:14,703
Ohh. [Laughs]
386
00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:18,674
You guys are great. You, I love. Mwah!
387
00:15:18,707 --> 00:15:20,609
Mwah!
388
00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:22,210
Oh! You sweaty.
389
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:25,247
[Sobbing]
390
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,716
Why is Brockmire sobbing,
telling us that he loves us?
391
00:15:27,748 --> 00:15:29,218
Because I do love you!
392
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:30,986
Because you guys, you play the game...
393
00:15:31,018 --> 00:15:32,420
Wait.
394
00:15:32,454 --> 00:15:34,223
... that you all fell
in love with as kids.
395
00:15:34,256 --> 00:15:36,692
And that's... it's beautiful.
396
00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,459
[Snickers] That's beautiful.
397
00:15:38,492 --> 00:15:39,694
It's beautiful, right?
398
00:15:39,728 --> 00:15:41,863
Yeah, we'll just all gently agree
399
00:15:41,896 --> 00:15:43,531
with whatever he says, okay?
400
00:15:43,565 --> 00:15:46,801
Hey, look. It's your pal, Charles.
401
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:48,336
- Charles.
- Charles.
402
00:15:48,369 --> 00:15:50,471
- What are you...
- Go get him.
403
00:15:50,505 --> 00:15:52,608
Life is hard for you
'cause you're black.
404
00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:53,976
- Oh.
- And that's... that's insane.
405
00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,743
- It's crazy, man.
- Come on.
406
00:15:55,776 --> 00:15:56,944
It's wrong. Let's go.
407
00:15:56,978 --> 00:15:58,613
What year is it?
408
00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:01,016
It's... it's... it's the
current year that... that it is?
409
00:16:01,049 --> 00:16:02,550
- Absolutely.
- That's not right.
410
00:16:02,584 --> 00:16:03,785
That's right, come on.
411
00:16:03,818 --> 00:16:04,886
Wait, I forgot to tell them one thing.
412
00:16:04,919 --> 00:16:05,954
- No, no, it's fine.
- No.
413
00:16:05,987 --> 00:16:06,954
They'll be fine. They'll be fine.
414
00:16:06,988 --> 00:16:08,122
- They'll be fine without it.
- All right, easy.
415
00:16:08,156 --> 00:16:10,791
Yoshi's running on fumes,
so somebody has to step up.
416
00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:12,627
Come on, guys, I signed you all
417
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,630
'cause I saw that you all had something.
418
00:16:14,662 --> 00:16:16,397
Or had something left.
419
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,666
Danny, I watched you turn
a gorgeous double play
420
00:16:18,699 --> 00:16:20,368
at a juco in upstate New York.
421
00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:22,470
Uribe, a scout sent me
a link to your highlights
422
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,305
in the Venezuelan league.
423
00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:24,973
I tracked you down that night.
424
00:16:25,006 --> 00:16:28,644
And, John Elton... John Elton.
425
00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:31,312
Honestly, that was a mistake.
426
00:16:31,345 --> 00:16:33,948
I asked an agent for Juan
Eltun, and he misheard me.
427
00:16:33,982 --> 00:16:35,017
But...
428
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:37,319
Actually explains a lot.
429
00:16:37,352 --> 00:16:38,954
But you just hit the go-ahead home run.
430
00:16:38,987 --> 00:16:40,421
- Yeah.
- Yeah. -Yeah.
431
00:16:40,454 --> 00:16:41,889
If he can do that,
432
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:44,292
just imagine what the
rest of you are capable of.
433
00:16:44,325 --> 00:16:45,526
- Yes!
- All right.
434
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,329
I know this wasn't
your dream to be here,
435
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:49,531
but it is mine.
436
00:16:49,564 --> 00:16:51,933
So please, someone get out
there and make a God damn play!
437
00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:53,401
[Cheering]
438
00:16:53,435 --> 00:16:55,670
- Let's go!
- Uno, dos, tres...
439
00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:58,073
All: Frackers!
440
00:16:58,106 --> 00:16:59,808
For you, Miss Jules! For you!
441
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,909
Where'd you get that?
442
00:17:01,943 --> 00:17:03,412
I don't know.
443
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:05,414
I just looked down, and there it was.
444
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:08,015
Tell you what... I feel naked,
445
00:17:08,049 --> 00:17:11,020
uh, watching the game without
a microphone in my hand.
446
00:17:13,121 --> 00:17:14,323
How's this?
447
00:17:14,355 --> 00:17:15,623
Where'd you get that?
448
00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:16,925
I don't know.
449
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,059
I just looked down, and it was there.
450
00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:21,028
- You're a prodigy. God damn you, prodigy.
- Thank you.
451
00:17:21,062 --> 00:17:22,798
- [Microphone feedback squeaks]
- All right, hey.
452
00:17:22,831 --> 00:17:24,933
- Drunken idiots of Morristown...
- [Cheers and applause]
453
00:17:24,966 --> 00:17:26,368
Yeah, hello.
454
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:28,637
Turn your attention to the field.
455
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,706
You will see the greatest victory
456
00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:33,007
in the history of Morristown right now.
457
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,776
Come on, Frackers!
458
00:17:37,679 --> 00:17:39,747
From your lips to
Willie Stargell's ears.
459
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:42,416
Come on now, Frackers!
Come on, cheer 'em.
460
00:17:42,449 --> 00:17:44,385
- Go, let's go!
- Oh, Yoshi.
461
00:17:44,419 --> 00:17:45,620
You got this, mang.
462
00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:47,055
Joo got this.
463
00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,924
Man: Go, Yoshi.
464
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:51,526
Come on, Yoshi!
465
00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:56,864
466
00:18:12,814 --> 00:18:14,816
Oh, nice grab by Uribe.
467
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:16,845
Round the horn.
468
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:28,829
469
00:18:28,863 --> 00:18:29,965
Umpire: Out!
470
00:18:29,997 --> 00:18:32,500
[Cheers and applause]
471
00:18:34,568 --> 00:18:37,438
Triple play! Triple play!
472
00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:39,807
Whoo!
473
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:43,444
Yeah!
474
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:45,846
We did it!
475
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,181
I never seen it!
476
00:18:47,215 --> 00:18:49,684
I never seen a triple
play to win a game!
477
00:18:49,717 --> 00:18:52,653
Baseball lives in Morristown!
478
00:18:52,687 --> 00:18:54,423
[Cheering continues]
479
00:19:11,506 --> 00:19:13,141
Whoo!
480
00:19:13,173 --> 00:19:15,042
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
481
00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,877
Yeah, baby!
482
00:19:16,911 --> 00:19:18,147
[Screaming]
483
00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:24,519
[Gunshot]
484
00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:26,955
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
485
00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:27,988
[Gunshot]
486
00:19:28,022 --> 00:19:29,558
Oh, my God! Yeah!
487
00:19:29,591 --> 00:19:33,061
[Cheering continues]
488
00:19:33,093 --> 00:19:34,729
[Gunshot echoes]
489
00:19:42,269 --> 00:19:44,605
Well, good morning, sunshine.
490
00:19:44,639 --> 00:19:46,808
Hey.
491
00:19:46,841 --> 00:19:48,142
[Sighs]
492
00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:51,021
Uh...
493
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,361
I'm sorry.
494
00:19:57,584 --> 00:20:00,855
Atlanta wants to audition
me to be their new announcer.
495
00:20:00,889 --> 00:20:04,193
They want me to finish off
the season at AAA New Orleans.
496
00:20:06,628 --> 00:20:07,795
[Inhales sharply] Look, you know
497
00:20:07,828 --> 00:20:09,163
that if I have a path to The Show,
498
00:20:09,197 --> 00:20:12,034
I just... I have to take it.
499
00:20:12,593 --> 00:20:14,295
I know. [Chuckles]
500
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:17,664
Jules, come with me.
501
00:20:17,793 --> 00:20:19,696
[Laughs]
502
00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:22,244
You know I can't.
503
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,978
[Sighs]
504
00:20:24,011 --> 00:20:26,815
I'm not going to abandon my team.
505
00:20:26,847 --> 00:20:27,882
Why not?
506
00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:29,850
God, you have this fantasy
that if you save the team,
507
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,018
you're gonna save the town.
508
00:20:31,052 --> 00:20:33,855
But you're plugging a dam
with a dozen other leaks in it.
509
00:20:33,888 --> 00:20:36,625
How do you think this place
got to be the way it is?
510
00:20:36,658 --> 00:20:39,495
Anytime anybody made
anything, then they just left.
511
00:20:40,961 --> 00:20:42,596
If you really wanted me to come,
512
00:20:42,630 --> 00:20:44,232
you wouldn't have packed
your bags before you asked.
513
00:20:44,265 --> 00:20:46,968
Oh, screw the... hey.
Screw the bags, okay?
514
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,103
- I want you with me. I love you.
- No!
515
00:20:49,136 --> 00:20:51,539
You don't get to say that while
you're walking out the door.
516
00:20:51,573 --> 00:20:55,009
Ah, see? This is why I did
not want to get involved, okay?
517
00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:56,710
- I didn't want get...
- Trapped?
518
00:20:56,744 --> 00:20:58,113
I wasn't gonna say "trapped," all right?
519
00:20:58,145 --> 00:20:59,813
I was gonna use a different
word than "trapped."
520
00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:02,017
A-a nicer word.
521
00:21:02,049 --> 00:21:03,584
Uh, enmeshed.
522
00:21:09,257 --> 00:21:10,824
I've never trapped a man in my life.
523
00:21:10,857 --> 00:21:12,126
You want to leave? Leave.
524
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,671
Wha... [Sighs]
525
00:21:13,735 --> 00:21:15,863
I don't wanna leave. I
have to leave, Jules.
526
00:21:15,897 --> 00:21:16,568
I...
527
00:21:16,679 --> 00:21:18,834
Yeah, I know, sure.
528
00:21:23,638 --> 00:21:25,674
Take care of yourself.
529
00:21:31,179 --> 00:21:32,180
Wait.
530
00:21:36,049 --> 00:21:37,151
About a year from now,
531
00:21:37,184 --> 00:21:39,353
you're gonna realize the
colossal mistake you just made.
532
00:21:39,386 --> 00:21:41,021
You're gonna come crawling back.
533
00:21:41,055 --> 00:21:42,623
You're gonna want to fix it.
534
00:21:42,657 --> 00:21:45,160
You're gonna try to sweet-talk me.
535
00:21:45,192 --> 00:21:48,963
Let me save you the time
and tell you right now.
536
00:21:48,997 --> 00:21:51,190
Go fuck yourself.
537
00:21:51,254 --> 00:21:54,690
You're dead to me.
538
00:21:55,169 --> 00:21:56,705
Now you can go.
539
00:22:02,943 --> 00:22:04,605
Can I just... can I grab my bag?
540
00:22:04,611 --> 00:22:05,613
Leave!
541
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:10,852
- Please?
- Now!
542
00:22:12,019 --> 00:22:15,222
[Door closes, bagpipes playing]
543
00:22:28,036 --> 00:22:29,871
Charles: Where's your luggage?
544
00:22:34,534 --> 00:22:36,844
I am going to get drunk and pass out.
545
00:22:40,047 --> 00:22:42,083
Wake me when we get to Louisiana.
546
00:22:42,115 --> 00:22:44,952
[Sighs] Sure thing.
547
00:22:44,986 --> 00:22:47,255
[Engine starts]
548
00:22:53,995 --> 00:22:56,965
So, this, uh... this apartment
you're getting in New Orleans,
549
00:22:56,997 --> 00:22:58,400
I'm assuming it's a two-bedroom
550
00:22:58,432 --> 00:23:00,901
'cause I don't know if I
can handle a Bert and Ernie,
551
00:23:00,934 --> 00:23:02,803
twin-bed situation.
552
00:23:02,836 --> 00:23:05,906
I actually understood that reference.
553
00:23:05,947 --> 00:23:10,014
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- www.addic7ed.com -
554
00:23:10,064 --> 00:23:14,614
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