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1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,034
Come to Papa.
2
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,375
Where are you?
Where are you?
3
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,314
150 bucks well spent!
4
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,650
Cash, there's nothing in there.
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,753
Nothing in here?
This is Sue Storm. Hello!
6
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,055
Fantastic Four?
The Invisible Woman?
7
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,125
You paid $150
for a box of air?
8
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,893
I know, right?
Half price.
9
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,997
What do you even do
with it?
10
00:00:32,131 --> 00:00:32,998
That.
11
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:33,865
Dude, where does it end?
12
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,468
There's always gonna be
something bigger, better, geekier.
13
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,471
You're buying something else
right now, aren't you?
14
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,639
Uh, not buying.
Bidding.
15
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:45,110
Behold. The limited edition
Marty Mcfly self-lacing sneakers
16
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,945
from
Back to the Future II.
17
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:47,946
Aside from
owning a DeLorean
18
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:51,149
or kidnapping Michael J. Fox,
there's no bigger collectible
19
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,884
for the B to the Fenthusiast.
20
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,854
You're bidding
on $300 sneakers?
21
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,456
I wish. $3,000.
22
00:00:58,458 --> 00:00:59,491
What?
23
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:03,895
Damn! Biff1985
just raised it $500.
24
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,529
Okay, it's go time.
25
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,564
No, no. It's stop time.
Stop. Stop.
26
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,766
You live
with your mom, okay?
27
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,001
You can't even afford
to supersize at lunch.
28
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,837
This is not...
I... I can't watch this.
29
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,673
Don't listen to him,
Red Hulk.
30
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,775
He doesn't understand us.
31
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,310
What? $4,000?
32
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,446
No, I really shouldn't.
I just...
33
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:24,249
Oops.
34
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,186
Armor Safe Transpo.
35
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,689
They own half the armored trucks
in California.
36
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,090
They want to upgrade
their fleet.
37
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,425
We're gonna go in
fast and furious,
38
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,793
and we are gonna
win this job.
39
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:35,994
"No" is not an option.
40
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,195
All right.
Just so you know,
41
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,364
I'm going commando down here,
so if you need me to pull
42
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,599
a Sharon Stone,
just give me the nod.
43
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,670
Um, uh, should we establish a bit of,
uh, a game plan
44
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,006
for the presentation?
Who speaks first?
45
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,709
I know a bit of, uh,
an icebreaking joke.
46
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,543
Do you?
47
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,711
Oh, God, no.
No jokes are necessary.
48
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,513
I've already laid the groundwork
with Alonso.
49
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,614
All we're here to do is
sign the papers
50
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,583
- and collect a large check.
- Got it?
51
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:02,053
Oh, you cocky bastard.
Let's close this!
52
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:05,824
Great idea. Let's keep
everything closed.
53
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,624
Shaw.
54
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,860
Oz. My brotha.
55
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,996
Looking good
for your age.
56
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,199
'Sup, ladies? Henry Shaw.
Double Dragon Security.
57
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,768
Looks like we're going
for the same client, huh?
58
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:20,071
Sucks for you, 'cause this young stud
just took your job.
59
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,606
If I were you, I'd buy a new
trapper keeper,
60
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,742
slip your compass
and protractor inside,
61
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,609
and don't be late
for the bus,
62
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,611
'cause you just
got schooled.
63
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:27,946
Am I a pimp or what?
64
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,013
Fly's open, baby.
65
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:32,550
Must be real dark times
for you, huh, Ferris?
66
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:33,084
Mmm.
67
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,121
Yeah.
Oz's first name is Ferris.
68
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:38,923
Kinda kills the illusion,
doesn't it?
69
00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:41,993
Son of a fricken-fracken...
70
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:42,627
Son of your frism!
71
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:47,165
Uh-oh. Oz is fricken-fracken.
What is going on?
72
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,033
Well, we lost the job.
73
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:53,238
Yeah, we got snaked by some power tool
named Shaw.
74
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,341
He who must not
be named!
75
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,877
You saw
he who must not be named?
76
00:02:58,879 --> 00:02:59,711
Who the hell is Shaw?
77
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,413
He who must not be named?
78
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:05,283
Oh, man. This is heavy.
What did Oz do to him?
79
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,818
He... He didn't do anything.
80
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,554
Little bastard.
81
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,655
What... What's happening?
82
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,057
I'll tell you
what's happening.
83
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:17,295
I am getting ready
to rock your world.
84
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,932
Okay, listen, we're not supposed
to talk about him,
85
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,235
but Shaw used to be
our star hacker.
86
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,805
He and Oz were very close.
87
00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:35,380
Whoa. Looks like you guys
were pretty close, too.
88
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,115
They used to give each other
back rubs in public.
89
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,050
It was
a little extremely gay.
90
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,819
Man, it was
over the shirt.
91
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,922
Anyways, then came
the great betrayal...
92
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,291
Shaw secretly opened
his own company,
93
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,560
and he stole
all of Contra's files.
94
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,429
Friendship, betrayal,
sabotage...
95
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:55,200
I know just
what this man needs.
96
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,803
Come on. Take the hug.
Now talk to me.
97
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,171
Fine! You want me to talk?
98
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,641
I hate
that little pimple.
99
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,376
You see
that sword up there?
100
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,511
Uh-uh.
Exactly.
101
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,745
The sword
that should be there
102
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,014
belonged to my father
and his father before him,
103
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,750
who stole it off a wall of a
sushi restaurant in Oakland.
104
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,253
It meant the world to me,which is why I gave it
105
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,655
to my friend and protegeHenry Shaw...
106
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,723
Oh!
107
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:19,958
Man, that is so sharp!
108
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,492
Let me see. How could you
not warn me?
109
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,928
Then he used it
to stab me in the back,
110
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:27,765
right about where your bony chin
is sticking in.
111
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,300
Oh. I'm sorry.
112
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,437
I didn't know that, Oswald.
Well, from here on out,
113
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,206
we avoid that little dickweed
at all costs.
114
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,742
No. No, that's not how
I do things, V.
115
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,278
I admit, Shaw did take me
off my game,
116
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,714
but the Oz-Man is back
in charge.
117
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,716
Next time,
I'll be ready for him.
118
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,784
Attaboy, Ferris.
119
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:51,089
Thrilled to see you
glommed on to that one, V.
120
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:54,626
Okay. It's you
and me, Biff.
121
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,493
One more minute to go,
122
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:58,463
and those kicks
of the future are mine.
123
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,934
What? Cats?
Oh, man. Aw.
124
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,002
Sorry, pal.
Couldn't let you do it,
125
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,069
so I hijacked
your browser.
126
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:06,471
Dude, I know you're
my best friend,
127
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,406
but I will
physically fight you.
128
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,774
I think I'll be fine.
129
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:10,541
You're right.
130
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:13,511
I don't even know
what I was thinking.
131
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,647
Thanks for the lookout.
132
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,816
Won it!
133
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,685
You spent $6,000?
134
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:21,786
Dude, you made me panic,
135
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:22,820
so I hit
the "buy it now" button.
136
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,390
What?
Oh, so this is my fault?
137
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,958
Ow! Are you out
of your mind?
138
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:27,992
You don't have six grand!
139
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,395
Dude, you hit me
in my allergy shot,
140
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:33,231
and I may not have six grand,
but you know what I do have?
141
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,600
I have 169 IQ
I'm Mensa, bitch!
142
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:40,438
I got revenue streams coming in
that you can't even comprehend!
143
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,873
Okay.
144
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,008
Let's do this.
145
00:05:44,443 --> 00:05:45,109
The cinnamon challenge.
146
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,546
I saw a guy do this online,
and he went into shock.
147
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:51,582
Here we go.
148
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,351
Whoa.
149
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,953
Mmm.
150
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,390
Sorry.
No swallow, no money.
151
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,858
Yeah!
152
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,460
I'm so boned.
153
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:10,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
154
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:19,911
♪ Oh
155
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,246
♪ We got your back
156
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:33,224
Erasing all my stuff?
That's not even a thing.
157
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,726
Shaw-zam!
158
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,327
You'd better soak
some soft gauze
159
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,528
in aloe vera
and have a nurse apply it
160
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:41,466
in a layered fashion, 'cause you just
got burned!
161
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,234
Fly's open, dude.
162
00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:44,235
Whatever.
163
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,871
Cage may be open, but the beast
is still asleep.
164
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,707
Ah, lovely.
It seems I have a visitor.
165
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,576
Carol, handcuffs!
166
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,479
Don't want to go to jail
for nerdicide.
167
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,248
I didn't come here
to fight you, Ferry.
168
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,183
I actually came here
to reconnect.
169
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:02,286
An old friend of yours
wants to say hello.
170
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:04,455
It's your sword.
171
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,990
We're very close.
172
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,692
Here's me and swordy
in Maui
173
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,495
and me and swordy getting
a lap dance.
174
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,597
Oh, me and swordy making
a chopped salad.
175
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,032
Well, don't worry. I didn't dull him
or anything,
176
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:17,969
'cause actually I also still use him to
do a little manscaping.
177
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,771
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
178
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,273
Damn my escape training!
Aah!
179
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,641
Wait, wait!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
180
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,377
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aah!
181
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:26,944
Let's reboot this.
182
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:31,182
Listen, when I totally skunked you
on that armored car job,
183
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,984
I realized...
184
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,052
I want all your jobs,
185
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:37,455
so what do you say you and I make
a little wager...
186
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,923
My client list
for yours?
187
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,658
You know I won't do that.
188
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:45,063
Come on. It's just one teensy-weensy
little bet.
189
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,197
It'll be just like
the old days.
190
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,067
You can pick the game.
Poker, high card.
191
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,102
Hell, I'll even arm wrestle
you for it.
192
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,036
It's not gonna
happen, Shaw.
193
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,838
What? Why?
Just rip his arm off.
194
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,873
Look at them.
They're like straws.
195
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:01,612
Hey! Hey!
196
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,714
No can do-ey.
197
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:04,882
I knew it.
198
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:05,917
Looks like you're gonna
have to head down
199
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,753
to your local one-hour photo shop
and ask 'em to leave
200
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,588
the negatives
of your vacation pics
201
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,757
in the developing fluid
a little longer,
202
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,526
'cause you've
been exposed!
203
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:16,928
Unh!
204
00:08:18,597 --> 00:08:19,831
Leave the...
The... The exp...
205
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,732
Leave the photos? Photo...
Yeah, 'cause you...
206
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,135
You leave it on too long,
and you expose it.
207
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,170
Oh.
That's what... Yeah.
208
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,339
Oh. Oh.
209
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,877
Thank you, Lord, for bestowing
this gift upon myself.
210
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,914
♪ Ah
211
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,517
♪ Ah
212
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,587
♪ Ah
213
00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:45,256
That crazy bastard did it.
214
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,859
He spent six grand
on freaking sneakers.
215
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,996
What? Veronica just
lent him $6,000.
216
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:52,597
Wait. What?
217
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,499
That fraudster gave us
218
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:58,136
a heartbreaking sob story
about his 500-pound mother
219
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,838
and how she's trapped on the
first floor of their house.
220
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,808
That's why I need the money,
221
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,110
to get one of those
electric cable cars...
222
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:09,046
That bring her
up and down the stairs.
223
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,015
I am writing you a check
right now,
224
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,585
and I want you to buy
your poor, sweet mother...
225
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:15,319
The strongest,
226
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:20,258
most load-bearing fatty stair gondola...
on the market today.
227
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:22,193
Come here.
228
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,296
Will this check
clear today?
229
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,464
Oh, man.
230
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,733
I really need to
help this guy.
231
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,472
Now what are you doing?
232
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,841
Dude, I had to put 'em on.
I just had to,
233
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,710
but once you get a scuff mark
or human oils on 'em,
234
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:40,478
they just
become sneakers.
235
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,347
So listen, Veronica wants us
all in the conference room.
236
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,883
No sweat. Ah.
237
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:51,222
You'll get used to it.
238
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,258
'Sup? 'Sup?
'Suppers?
239
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,494
Ah. Let's do this.
240
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,430
Actually, this meeting is
kind of about you.
241
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,934
We're here to talk
about your problem.
242
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,502
What problem?
243
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,939
You buy useless crap
you can't afford.
244
00:10:08,473 --> 00:10:09,240
Oh.
245
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,509
You bought
a life-sized Tauntaun?
246
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,110
Is that necessary?
247
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:13,744
Yes.
248
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,280
Oh, my God.
249
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,115
We're having
a nerdervention.
250
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,083
Nerdervention?
251
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,985
Mm-hmm. Yes.
252
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:21,819
This is bull.
253
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:22,887
Look,
you're in safe hands.
254
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,723
Veronica here has been intervened
against a number of times.
255
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,960
It's true,
for men and the wacky weed.
256
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:29,727
Look, I don't care.
257
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,730
This is racist. I don't know how yet,
but it is.
258
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,266
Man, it's not racist.
You're a straight-up nerd,
259
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,301
and I don't like
the way you make me feel.
260
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,970
I read Faulkner,
James Joyce,
261
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,405
yet you mock me for not knowing
what a muggle is?
262
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,975
Please. Everyone knows
what a muggle is.
263
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,042
The very fact
that you don't
264
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:48,145
only proves that you're a muggle...
A giant muggle.
265
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,616
Cash, this is
classic addict behavior.
266
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,283
Lashing out, lying.
267
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,185
You're utterly consumed
with this stuff.
268
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,387
"Utterly consumed"?
269
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,688
Really? How?
270
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,458
The force
is strong with me.
271
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,595
Release the Kraken!
272
00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:08,232
Kiss my converse!
273
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,601
When I say,
"Who's the master?"
274
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:14,938
You say, "Sho'nuff."
275
00:11:15,106 --> 00:11:17,141
This is bull.
I do not need help.
276
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,778
You sold your own platelets
to buy action figures.
277
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,645
They replenish.
278
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:25,449
I do not have
a problem.
279
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,517
I can quit anytime
I want to.
280
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,218
As a matter of fact,
that's a good idea.
281
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,054
How about I quit
right now...
282
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,056
This job?
283
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,591
Sit down and listen up.
284
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:37,561
You want to know why
I'm not going after Shaw?
285
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,431
I'll tell you why.
286
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,299
He's got
something on me...
287
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,435
Something I'm not
particularly proud of.
288
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,570
You're an arms dealer.
You're a government spook.
289
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,538
You killed a hooker
in Vegas.
290
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,307
Get ahold of yourselves, people.
I've got a gambling problem.
291
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,511
Oh, knock it off.
Stop your murmuring.
292
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,213
I'm human.
Well, mostly.
293
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,750
So that's why you were unwilling to
engage in Shaw's wager?
294
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,185
It gets worse.
295
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,954
You all know I gave Shaw
my father's sword.
296
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:04,788
After he betrayed me,
297
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,490
I couldn't bear the thought
of him having it,
298
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:10,661
but he knew my weakness,
and he would only bet me for it,
299
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,995
so I went crazy,
300
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:15,499
totally obsessed and broke
trying to win it back.
301
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,168
That's why
I had to sell Contra.
302
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,105
You lost Contra
over a sword?
303
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,073
Really? Weak sauce.
304
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:27,811
Yes, it is, Mcfly.
Perhaps you can relate.
305
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:31,448
I need help.
306
00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:39,156
Okay. This is
where the recovery begins.
307
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,091
I'll be down the hall
with the gamblers.
308
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:41,959
Don't leave
before the miracle.
309
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,062
All right. Well, guess I'll see you
in an hour.
310
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:48,632
Actually, I thought maybe I'd stay,
show you some support.
311
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,734
Really?
Yeah. Why not?
312
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,669
Nice.
313
00:12:53,138 --> 00:12:56,607
Hi. I'm Hollywood Director
James Gunn.
314
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,610
Hi, Hollywood Director
James Gunn.
315
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,578
I know what
you guys are thinking.
316
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,080
This guy is crushing it.
317
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,316
He wrote Dawn of the Deadand Tromeo and Juliet.
318
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:06,817
He's a genius.
319
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,585
And that's...
that's very true.
320
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,287
I am, but inside myself,
there's a hole
321
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:15,759
that I try to fill with zombies and superheroes
and P.G. porn stars.
322
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:20,264
Dabbling in the dork arts
has led me to a new low.
323
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,799
I can't make love
to a woman
324
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,567
unless I close my eyes
and imagine
325
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,903
Elita One,
the female Transformer.
326
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,371
Elita One's hot.
327
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,507
Okay.
I'll see you in an hour.
328
00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:36,847
Oh. Where in the hell's bells
have you been?
329
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:37,548
We're at Code Red!
330
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,049
No. Someone found
my plutonium?
331
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,451
No! Look!
332
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,787
We're at war with Shaw
and Double Dragon!
333
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:46,290
- What?
- If any of those pigs come in here,
334
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:50,494
I will execute every mother-humping
last one of them!
335
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,095
Take it down a notch,
honey bunny.
336
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,197
Listen, listen.
What?
337
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,631
Now we're at war
with Double Dragon?
338
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,632
Yeah.
Since when?
339
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,134
Since when? Oh, gosh.
340
00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,070
Um, probably
since I went over there
341
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:03,540
and tried to reason with Shaw.
Don't get mad.
342
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:05,108
Shh. Let it go.
343
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,376
Let it go.
344
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,411
No, no. You let me go.
345
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,847
Oh, God! Your chin
is like a stiletto!
346
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,217
I gave him the classic back hug
with a full boob press,
347
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,051
just the way you like it,
348
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,654
but, you know, for some reason,
he just was not having me,
349
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,691
so I very, very calmly
350
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,626
left the building, and that's all
that happened.
351
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:25,362
Double Dragon isn't even
in our league!
352
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,531
Oh, if that's the case,
then maybe you're man enough
353
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,032
to put your money
where your mouth is.
354
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,935
Oh! If you knew what had
been in this mouth,
355
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:35,472
you would not want
to make that bet.
356
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,642
What did you do?
357
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:43,180
Oh, um, well, I think
that I may have just
358
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:48,886
risked the entire future of the company
to defend your honor.
359
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:49,586
Huh.
360
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:50,687
So we good?
361
00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:52,222
Since Veronica cockered
the spaniel,
362
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,391
you've got yourselves
a bit of a situation.
363
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,526
The game is
Capture The Flag.
364
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:57,895
Now the rules
are very simple.
365
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,897
Whoever breaks into
the other's office first
366
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,065
and steals their client list wins it all.
367
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,101
Okay. What's the plan,
hack their system?
368
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,302
Classic penetration.
369
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:06,570
Go heavy. Go hard.
370
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,237
Backdoor entry!
371
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,273
My God.
I'm really horny.
372
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,643
My plan is to handcuff myself
to this column,
373
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,543
because this
is gambling,
374
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:14,611
and I'm not allowed
to participate.
375
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:17,180
What about
your escape training?
376
00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,349
Good point. Carol!
377
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,621
Two is my limit.
378
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,990
Okay. You're on your own.
379
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:27,524
Cameron!
380
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:28,825
Cameron.
Cameron. Cameron. Cameron.
381
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:31,628
All right, look, Shaw is
a master manipulator
382
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,964
and a genius at exploiting
his enemies' weaknesses.
383
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:36,033
Copy that.
Make me proud, kid.
384
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:40,137
Damn! I'm just too good!
It's annoying, really.
385
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:42,572
Okay. We're striking first.
386
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:44,541
I just saw Shaw and the doubledouches leave.
387
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:46,710
Okay. Okay, I'm in.I hacked their alarm system,
388
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,713
and I looped their surveil camerasso I'm a ghost.
389
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,280
Okay, Casper.
390
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,950
Just grab the client list
and go to the light.
391
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,117
Wait. There it is.
392
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,553
Wait! Wait. Somebody lefttheir laptop logged in.
393
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:57,621
Oh, I'm gonnabe able to do
394
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,189
a lot more thanget their client list.
395
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:02,259
Laptop? Wait. That's too easy.
Cameron, it's a trap!
396
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,428
It's a trap!
397
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,162
Oh!
398
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,298
Yeah, I piecedthat together.
399
00:16:11,002 --> 00:16:12,302
Okay, hold tight, buddy.
400
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,972
- I'm on my way.
- Nothing's gonna stop me.
401
00:16:15,773 --> 00:16:18,508
Sweet silver time machine
of my dreams
402
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,878
in its glorious
stainless steel flesh!
403
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:23,947
Pretty dope, right?
404
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,049
It's kinda like the car version
of the Holy Grail.
405
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:29,152
What are you doing here, Shaw?
Hit the road.
406
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:29,953
Roads?
407
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:33,256
Where you're going,
you don't need roads.
408
00:16:33,624 --> 00:16:36,059
What are you saying,
this is your car?
409
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,195
Yep. You want it?
410
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,130
Come on.
You know you do.
411
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:40,964
What's your angle?
412
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,332
Why would you give me
a DeLorean?
413
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,368
Oh. No givesies.
414
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,370
Tradesies. One kindness for another.
415
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:49,973
Just disable Contra's alarm
by the back door, 8:00 p.m.
416
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,441
He's preying
on your weakness, Cash.
417
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:52,609
It's just a car.
It's just a car.
418
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,678
It's just a car!
419
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,647
Just a car with the complete
flux capacitor package,
420
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,549
and I may have rigged
the tires
421
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,385
to leave a streak
of flames.
422
00:17:04,088 --> 00:17:05,922
Give me the damn keys.
423
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,361
Yes.
424
00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:14,731
Gull wings, son.
425
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,067
Part of me feels
so good...
426
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,837
But so horrible
for selling out to Shaw!
427
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,906
So good!
428
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:23,607
Horrible!
429
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,841
Good!
430
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,510
Horrible!
431
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:27,744
New car?
432
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:28,678
Uh... What?
433
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:33,750
No, I'm just holding it for a friend of mine...
M.C. Hammer.
434
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:38,522
Not the rapper. The other one.
He's an optometrist.
435
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,723
You don't wear glasses.
436
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,260
Uh, thanks
to Dr. Michael Carl Hammer.
437
00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:45,962
Okay, well,
I'm gonna go to a meeting,
438
00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:48,598
before we both
fall off the wagon.
439
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:55,172
Cash, come quickly.
It's Cameron.
440
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:03,280
Hey, guys. It's me.I've, uh, prepared a statement.
441
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,583
Come on. Really? This isso stupid, all right?
442
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,317
I'm a grown man.
443
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:09,086
- Say it!- No!
444
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:09,853
Aah!
445
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:12,089
Oh, fine! Fine, fine,you son of a bitch!
446
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:16,259
I'm not even wearinggoggles, okay? Holy crap!
447
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,227
Aah!
448
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,862
Okay. Okay. All right.I'll say whatever you want.
449
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,831
Oz is a douche.Contra sucks.
450
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,799
Just please, whatever,don't shoot me.
451
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:24,868
Please don't shoot me.
452
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,571
Oh. We can't beat
these people.
453
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:31,408
We'll never figure out a way
into the Double Dragon offices.
454
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:36,947
Yes, we will!
I know a way in.
455
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,683
Let me lay
a little science on you.
456
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,550
This is an infrared scan
457
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,887
of Double Dragon's so-called
"impenetrable" offices.
458
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,288
Oh. Nice work.
459
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,623
Mmm.
Who's Mr. Blinky?
460
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,759
Mr. Blinky is Cameron.
He's the only one there.
461
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:50,794
And where is
everyone else?
462
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,163
Most likely, headed
over here to break in,
463
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:54,197
but before they can,
I got a way
464
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:58,502
to capture the flag and prove to Shaw
I can't be bought.
465
00:18:59,504 --> 00:19:00,737
If my calculations
are correct,
466
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:03,006
when this baby hits 88 miles per hour,
you're gonna see
467
00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:05,342
some serious
shiitake mushrooms.
468
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:08,145
Um, I thought
the speed limit was 55.
469
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,746
Oh, gun it!
470
00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:38,441
Whoa.
471
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:40,377
Great Scott!
472
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:46,116
What the hell was that?
You dicks almost killed me!
473
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:46,983
We're here
to rescue you.
474
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:49,085
What, by running me over
with a DeLorean?
475
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:52,956
Come on, you dumbass
Marty Mcfly-lookin' idiot!
476
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,624
Get me out of here!
477
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:55,926
Oh, my God.
478
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,962
I think I might have
found something.
479
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,601
Thank you, Cash.
480
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,538
Aah! Aah. Aah.
Come on. Ear. Ear!
481
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,106
You'd better run
through the casino
482
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:11,675
straight to the ATM
for more money,
483
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,243
even though there's
a $10 processing fee,
484
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,779
'cause you just drew a 22
at the blackjack table,
485
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,447
and your ass is busted!
486
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:19,916
Come on.
Who even talks like that?
487
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:22,586
Ear! Ear! Aah.
488
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,787
Well, hello, little boy.
489
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,556
Did you come
for our client list?
490
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,557
Or did you come
for yours?
491
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,427
Well played, Contra.
You got my client list.
492
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:33,129
I don't want
your client list, Shaw.
493
00:20:33,464 --> 00:20:34,731
Never did.
494
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,933
Then what do you want?
495
00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:47,077
Thank you, Veronica.
496
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,979
You really had my back.
497
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,880
Do itashimashite.
498
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:53,817
That means "you're welcome"
in Japanese.
499
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,854
Wakatterutte, Onei-chan.
500
00:20:58,656 --> 00:20:59,122
And you.
501
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,324
You gave up a DeLorean.
I'm proud of you.
502
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,260
That's a big step.
503
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:07,397
What's going on?
504
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:10,333
Oh, I'm just selling some of my stuff
to pay Veronica back.
505
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,602
Why don't you just sell
those stupid sneakers?
506
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,570
Oh, I did,
507
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,405
but I could only get
$3,500 for 'em
508
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,774
'cause my feet
deflowered 'em.
509
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:21,378
But it's kinda cool to let
some of this stuff go.
510
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:21,978
But a Tauntaun?
511
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,847
I mean, even I can admit
that's pretty cool.
512
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:27,851
Yeah, but it's a little crazy
owning two of 'em.
513
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:28,885
Two of 'em?
514
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:32,589
Oh. Progress,
not perfection, buddy.
515
00:21:33,305 --> 00:21:39,732
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516
00:21:39,782 --> 00:21:44,332
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