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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,763 --> 00:00:08,323 What's up, my muggle? Hey, I got something for you. 2 00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:10,639 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doin'? 3 00:00:10,763 --> 00:00:12,722 Oh, me and my boy-- We're gonna get together this weekend 4 00:00:12,848 --> 00:00:13,980 and have a "Harry Potter"-thon. 5 00:00:14,087 --> 00:00:16,421 We're gonna kick back, pound down some butterbeers, 6 00:00:16,548 --> 00:00:18,784 watch Hermione blossom into wizardhood, 7 00:00:18,898 --> 00:00:21,739 but not in a creepy way. I have no idea what you just said, 8 00:00:21,864 --> 00:00:23,816 but how about we grab some real beers 9 00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,099 and watch the Laker game? 10 00:00:25,216 --> 00:00:26,955 No, well, that's cool, man. I don't have a dad. 11 00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:29,860 Maybe some other time. Lose yourself, baby. 12 00:00:30,026 --> 00:00:32,213 Lose yourself. Just you and me. 13 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,505 And me. Here's the specs you wanted, Mel. 14 00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:37,398 Oh, jeez. Sorry. I gotta get back to work. 15 00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,442 Baby, that was crazy good, though. Yeah? 16 00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:42,770 Yeah. You know what's crazy gooder? This sweet j-o-b. 17 00:00:42,888 --> 00:00:43,924 I mean, now that we work together, 18 00:00:44,055 --> 00:00:47,138 it's like we're being paid to hang out 24/siete. 19 00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:50,810 If you need me, I'll be right in here. 20 00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,862 Sweet, thoughtful bastard. 21 00:00:57,987 --> 00:01:00,373 And it sucks for you, 'cause he's the best boyfriend ever. 22 00:01:00,498 --> 00:01:03,402 Yet there he is, tongue-holing a doughnut. 23 00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,657 Oh, God. 24 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,078 Okay, down to business. 25 00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:17,934 This weekend is Comic-Con, 26 00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:19,951 and we've been hired by a Hollywood movie studio 27 00:01:20,056 --> 00:01:23,408 to protect a film they're going to screen for 100 lucky virgins. 28 00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:26,344 It's the sequel to some '80s movie called "The Goobers" 29 00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:28,104 or something. "The Goonies"? 30 00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:32,812 You have "Goonies 2: The Legend of Sloth" here in our office? 31 00:01:33,436 --> 00:01:35,525 Mm. Nerdgasm. 32 00:01:35,635 --> 00:01:36,314 All right, listen up. 33 00:01:36,446 --> 00:01:39,541 This exclusive screening has created quite the backlash, 34 00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:41,880 and the studio's been receiving a lot of angry threats 35 00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:45,558 from fanboys vowing to steal it because they feel excluded. 36 00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:48,550 Isn't it just a kids' movie? Kids' movie? 37 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,375 It's the geek Holy Grail. 38 00:01:50,498 --> 00:01:52,478 Truffle shuffle, baby. 39 00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:54,284 What are you doing? Why are you l-- 40 00:01:58,068 --> 00:02:01,102 I have no idea what that means, but I know your jobs are 41 00:02:01,236 --> 00:02:03,177 to ensure safe delivery of this film. 42 00:02:03,301 --> 00:02:05,924 My job is to tan your hides if you fail. 43 00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:08,569 Now the fans are rabid and mobilized. 44 00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:10,481 They have vowed to steal the movie, so you've gotta 45 00:02:10,592 --> 00:02:14,267 protect it at all costs. We have to be discreet. 46 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,773 Now this DVD is heavily encrypted. 47 00:02:16,877 --> 00:02:18,990 It can't be copied, but we can't be too safe. 48 00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:20,771 Melanie, I need you to design 49 00:02:20,893 --> 00:02:23,200 a secure transport case for this DVD. 50 00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:27,835 Maybe secure it with a bra clasp so the nerds can't get into it. 51 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,425 Dutch-down! Josh, we're gonna need you in one of your disguises 52 00:02:31,525 --> 00:02:33,962 so you can be our eyes and ears on the Comic-Con floor. 53 00:02:34,076 --> 00:02:36,206 And no, I will not pay for a Batmobile. 54 00:02:36,332 --> 00:02:40,098 Ooh! Okay, now me. Now me. What's my job? Your job is gonna be 55 00:02:40,196 --> 00:02:42,610 in the van with me, monitoring security feed. 56 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,617 Cameron, your job is gonna be to hand-deliver the film, 57 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,227 stay there until they finish the screening, 58 00:02:47,332 --> 00:02:48,964 then return it here to contra safely. 59 00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:51,402 What?! Why does Cam get the best job ever? 60 00:02:51,525 --> 00:02:54,684 I mean, the Con is my world! I'm an expert at this. 61 00:02:54,804 --> 00:02:56,758 I even self-published my own superhero comic. 62 00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:59,633 Yes, we all know about Black Zeus-- 63 00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:02,243 Rapper by day, secret agent by night. 64 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,448 Who raps during the day? 65 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:10,047 You are too close to this. It's like my daddy always said-- 66 00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:12,750 Don't give the pill popper keys to the pharmacy. 67 00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:15,719 He was a pill popper... and a pharmacist. 68 00:03:15,842 --> 00:03:17,430 Do we, uh, at least get to watch it? 69 00:03:17,553 --> 00:03:18,978 Yes, in the theaters, with everyone else. 70 00:03:19,114 --> 00:03:21,413 Now hand over the DVD you just swiped. 71 00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:26,009 Three years of Magic Camp for nothin'! 72 00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:29,831 Well, not really for nothin'. I made a lot of lifelong friends. 73 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,989 Hey, what the hell was that? 74 00:03:33,164 --> 00:03:35,125 What? You didn't have my back in there with Oz. 75 00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:37,810 I mean, we're boys. We share jobs, kidneys, 76 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,979 superlong noodles, "Lady and the Tramp" style. 77 00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:41,612 I think you're very confused right now. 78 00:03:41,735 --> 00:03:43,518 I am, 'cause our boss is 79 00:03:43,652 --> 00:03:45,265 the most unfair man on the planet. 80 00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,491 I hate to say it, but I kind of agree with him. 81 00:03:47,616 --> 00:03:50,689 What? You know this is important to me. 82 00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:52,005 "Goonies" is my thing. 83 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:56,412 I mean, you haven't even seen the movie. Name one Goonie. 84 00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:57,988 Gary Goonie. 85 00:03:58,127 --> 00:04:00,486 Gary Goonie? Gary Goonie?! Are you serious?! 86 00:04:00,618 --> 00:04:03,304 That right there is probably why I'm the best man for the job. 87 00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:05,563 It's just a movie. I'm telling you, as a friend, 88 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:09,018 you gotta get a grip. You get a grip! Okay, you're not my friend. 89 00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:10,481 You're my worst enemy, man. 90 00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,145 I'm outta here! I can't believe this! 91 00:04:12,477 --> 00:04:15,106 No! I can't believe it. Gary Goonie. 92 00:04:15,237 --> 00:04:17,003 I can't believe he said-- Really?! 93 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,074 Here's your Gary Goonie. Here it is! Gary Goonie! Cash. Ca-- 94 00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:23,656 Gary Goonie?! You're dead to me! 95 00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,533 Hey. You're here early. 96 00:04:32,649 --> 00:04:35,627 Hey. Just trying to squeeze in a little me time before-- 97 00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:38,131 There she is! Why didn't you wake me up, Boo? 98 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,566 I was gonna make us some brekkie. 99 00:04:39,681 --> 00:04:41,444 It's egg white Wednesday. Come on. 100 00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:43,774 We'll read each other some comics. Yay. 101 00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:47,708 Come on. Whoo-hoo! A cup of Joe, toots? 102 00:04:47,841 --> 00:04:49,276 Oh. Thanks. 103 00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:53,777 Coffee is for winners. And guess whose cover got blown. 104 00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:56,818 Ours. The fanboys have all been tipped off, 105 00:04:56,944 --> 00:04:59,799 and they'll be gunning for us. Our faces are everywhere. 106 00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:01,242 Well, your faces. 107 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,922 It's virtually impossible to capture my likeness on camera-- 108 00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:07,771 An old trick I learned from a Zulu shaman named... 109 00:05:07,905 --> 00:05:10,466 That explains the pictures from the company picnic. 110 00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,494 Tell me-- How are things going with Cash? 111 00:05:18,606 --> 00:05:20,404 I know he wasn't too happy with either of us. 112 00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:23,159 Well, apparently my best friend took the train to crazy town 113 00:05:23,269 --> 00:05:24,706 and is now my sworn enemy. 114 00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,573 Well, this job is very, very important, 115 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,113 so you two lovebirds better work it out, 116 00:05:28,264 --> 00:05:29,894 or I'm gonna be forced to work it out for you, 117 00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:32,177 and my version involves a car battery 118 00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:34,891 clamped to a certain body part. I'll give you a hint. 119 00:05:35,031 --> 00:05:36,679 It rhymes with "mesticles." 120 00:05:38,194 --> 00:05:41,208 Hello? Hello? 121 00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:43,707 What the... 122 00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:45,894 What? 123 00:05:46,356 --> 00:05:49,282 It's got my ass! It's got my ass! What? 124 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:56,522 You done? 125 00:05:58,177 --> 00:05:59,947 Yes, I'm done. 126 00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:04,448 You. 127 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,117 It's only just begun. 128 00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:12,873 Unless you tell Oz to give me your job. 129 00:06:12,994 --> 00:06:15,966 Hell, no. You want a prank war? You got one. 130 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,376 I'm gonna own you. Pranking is my thing, bitch. 131 00:06:19,499 --> 00:06:21,129 Well, you're about to get beat at your own thing, 132 00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:23,453 bitch. Saying "bitch" is my thing, bitch. 133 00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:25,676 You can't have two things, bitch. 134 00:06:25,816 --> 00:06:29,555 Well, I do. Game, set, Cash. 135 00:06:30,004 --> 00:06:33,923 Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. 136 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,426 Can I help you? We saw your post all over hedo.com. 137 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,437 We're here for the All Night Bang-athon. 138 00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:02,009 And the rippin' and the tearin'. The rippin' and the tearin'. 139 00:07:03,287 --> 00:07:05,269 I'm tearin' off my clothes! 140 00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:08,555 Owned. 141 00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:11,186 Dude, I live with my mom, man. 142 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,891 I mean, she had her church group over. 143 00:07:12,994 --> 00:07:14,380 I had to join the prayer circle. 144 00:07:14,503 --> 00:07:17,625 Stuff went down. It was, like, this whole thing. So we even? 145 00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,583 We will be... once those boner pills 146 00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:22,215 I put in your coffee kick in. 147 00:07:22,329 --> 00:07:24,163 No. I think I would've seen you do that. 148 00:07:24,282 --> 00:07:26,008 Sleight of hand. 149 00:07:26,671 --> 00:07:28,208 Magic Camp. 150 00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,836 Sucka! 151 00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:40,460 Move! What? 152 00:07:40,571 --> 00:07:41,633 I need to get under your desk. 153 00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:43,614 No! No, no, no, no. Any time but now. 154 00:07:43,744 --> 00:07:46,244 Yo, melon balls! Where are you, girl? 155 00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:48,266 Cam, what's up? 156 00:07:48,386 --> 00:07:51,298 Hey, I just saw a midget driving a car. 157 00:07:51,411 --> 00:07:53,652 Genius! Offensive. 158 00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:54,821 She gets it. 159 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:57,702 Say, you seen my old lady? No. No, no, no. 160 00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,272 Well, if you do, you tell her I'm in the garage, 161 00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:02,421 working on the van. I put some shag down in the back 162 00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:06,191 so me and Mel can put some shag down in the back. Bump! 163 00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:08,384 Rebump. Bump-fecta. 164 00:08:08,498 --> 00:08:10,980 Please go. You betcha. 165 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,771 This isn't from you. It's from Cash. 166 00:08:21,617 --> 00:08:23,065 Okay. Sweetie. 167 00:08:29,322 --> 00:08:30,910 Ownage. 168 00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:33,177 Oh, baby's gonna tell on me. 169 00:08:33,308 --> 00:08:36,872 Baby's gonna tell on me, is he? 170 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,252 Please don't tell on me. Oz, I've had enough. 171 00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,222 Ever since we got this case, Cash has been acting insane. 172 00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:44,763 Watch. Gary Goonie. Gary Goonie. I'll kill you. 173 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,634 See, I can't work with this guy. Well, 174 00:08:46,765 --> 00:08:48,887 if that's how you feel, Cash, you are off the case. 175 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:50,818 What? Wait. I can't even sit in the van 176 00:08:50,941 --> 00:08:53,091 when we're at Comic-Con? We don't need two people in there. 177 00:08:53,204 --> 00:08:55,262 Stay here. Man the office. 178 00:08:57,138 --> 00:08:58,522 Looks like you won, man. 179 00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:01,085 Congrats. Hope it feels good. 180 00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:05,678 You are sporting a wicked-- 181 00:09:05,784 --> 00:09:08,903 Yes. Save that excitement for Comic-Con. 182 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,741 Let's go. 183 00:09:24,691 --> 00:09:26,466 All right, ladies, look alive. 184 00:09:26,594 --> 00:09:29,345 Cambo, the DVD is stashed in your cart. 185 00:09:29,464 --> 00:09:30,786 Roger that. I'm heading in. 186 00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,959 Josh, you're my eyes and ears out there. 187 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,454 You see anything weird? 188 00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:40,016 Um, you mean besides everything? 189 00:09:40,137 --> 00:09:42,918 Yeah, I'm talking about the movie. Any chatter? Goonies! 190 00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:44,826 Well, hall "A" is completely surrounded 191 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,160 with angry goonheads trying to get into that screening. 192 00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:48,650 We're gonna have to watch our step in here. 193 00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,025 Give us "Goonies," or give us death! 194 00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:52,438 Yeah! 195 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,088 10-4. Cameron, I'll reroute you. 196 00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,257 Melanie, where you at with the security feed? 197 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,794 Patching in now. 198 00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:12,487 'Sup, gorgeous? Check out what I got. 199 00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:14,752 Boom! What are you doing here? 200 00:10:14,878 --> 00:10:15,874 You're supposed to be in the van. 201 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,071 Yeah, Oz has got it under control. 202 00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:18,116 I thought I'd keep you company. 203 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,355 Still not patched in, Mel. Shake a leg. 204 00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,234 Yeah, I'm handling it. Whoa. 205 00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:25,211 What's with the peanuts? You know I'm crazy allergic. 206 00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:28,497 I know. You're not supposed to be here. Today, peaches! 207 00:10:28,623 --> 00:10:30,109 I'm handling it. 208 00:10:30,244 --> 00:10:32,524 Look, this is my cover, and you're blowing it. 209 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,930 Will you just--just give me some space for once, please? 210 00:10:36,074 --> 00:10:40,054 What--what are you trying to say? She's saying back off, bro. 211 00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:42,495 Trust me. I know women. Hey, I'm Jared. 212 00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:45,389 You know what, Mel? Gobble all the peanuts you want. 213 00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:47,293 Jam your mouth full of peanuts. 214 00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:52,485 Rub peanuts all over yourself for all I care. Later, Thor. 215 00:10:52,717 --> 00:10:54,048 Dutch! 216 00:10:54,232 --> 00:10:55,599 Thank you. 217 00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:58,735 About time. All right, Cammy, 218 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,694 screening room is 80 yards to your northeast. 219 00:11:01,836 --> 00:11:04,114 Look alive, people. There's been an Adam West sighting. 220 00:11:04,227 --> 00:11:06,372 A bunch of caped nerds are headed your way. 221 00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:09,297 Okay, calm down! 222 00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:11,930 Jeez, guys, it's just Adam West. 223 00:11:12,052 --> 00:11:13,366 Calm down! 224 00:11:16,454 --> 00:11:18,897 Okay, I'm at the door of the screening room now. 225 00:11:19,014 --> 00:11:20,061 Looks like you're all clear. 226 00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:21,399 Bring it on home. 227 00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,222 Oh, no. 228 00:11:27,665 --> 00:11:29,782 Cameron, where's that DVD? Oh, no. 229 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,488 Warming up the car battery. 230 00:11:33,935 --> 00:11:36,458 I've got a $100 million movie lost, the studio freaking out, 231 00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:39,478 and this company's reputation-- my reputation--on the line. 232 00:11:39,479 --> 00:11:42,514 I know. Whoever stole the DVD is on that security footage. 233 00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:43,970 I'm gonna look over every inch of it. 234 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,134 You better or you're gonna start looking for another job. 235 00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:48,259 Make like a pair of ta-tas and bounce. 236 00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,330 Okay. 237 00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,867 Dude, what the-- Do you know what time it is? 238 00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:00,903 My mom has to be at the courthouse at 6:00. 239 00:12:00,904 --> 00:12:02,741 Oh. Why does she have to go to court? 240 00:12:02,742 --> 00:12:04,659 'Cause she's the judge, racist. 241 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,467 Look, I spent the last five hours going through security footage, 242 00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:10,592 and you won't believe what I found... 243 00:12:11,104 --> 00:12:14,192 ...You. I don't recall Oz asking you to be there. 244 00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:17,447 Well, I was, as a registered guest, 245 00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:20,289 'cause my ex-best friend got me kicked off the job. 246 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:21,795 So this was your plan to get back at me? 247 00:12:21,796 --> 00:12:22,836 'Cause from where I'm standing, 248 00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:24,589 it sure looks like another one of your pranks. 249 00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,544 Are you implying that I stole the movie? 250 00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,600 I'm without a doubt saying you stole the movie. 251 00:12:28,601 --> 00:12:30,595 What makes you think I would do something like that? 252 00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:33,520 Now hand over the DVD you just swiped. 253 00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:34,687 Gary Goonie. Gary Goonie. 254 00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,153 I'll kill you. 255 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:38,911 But you know what'd be awesome? 256 00:12:38,912 --> 00:12:40,344 Stealing that movie. 257 00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:42,459 Listen, I may be mad at you, 258 00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,411 but I'm not gonna sabotage my own team. 259 00:12:45,116 --> 00:12:46,605 Look me in the eyes. 260 00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:49,259 Tell me you believe I did not steal that movie. 261 00:12:51,324 --> 00:12:53,198 Sorry, Cash. Not buying it. 262 00:12:53,798 --> 00:12:55,879 Dude, you're a crappy friend, man. 263 00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:58,027 And to think, I invited you to watch "Harry Potter" 264 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,842 'cause I thought you were my Ron Weasley. 265 00:13:00,098 --> 00:13:03,260 But it turns out you're nothing more than a professor Snape! 266 00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:05,374 No idea what any of that means. 267 00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:06,756 That means get out of my house. 268 00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:07,740 Garage. 269 00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:10,496 It has a mini fridge and a front door. Makes it a house. 270 00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,016 Oh, yeah. No, totally. 271 00:13:12,734 --> 00:13:13,687 Ooh! 272 00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:14,749 Really? 273 00:13:19,164 --> 00:13:20,435 Garage. 274 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,487 Good morning. 275 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,602 Dude, why are you still wearing that? 276 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,936 Actually, never took it off. 277 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,664 Met a smurf at Comic-Con, 278 00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:35,383 and I smurfed the smurf out of her, all smurf long. 279 00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,734 Well, I'm so happy you had a great night. 280 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,172 Me? Not so much. 281 00:13:42,066 --> 00:13:45,191 Hey, babe. I'm sorry about that. I was just grabbing a quick... 282 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,394 What are you doing? 283 00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:48,840 Where have you been? 284 00:13:49,492 --> 00:13:52,091 I hand-rolled the Sushi myself! 285 00:13:53,004 --> 00:13:56,040 It was supposed to be a peace offering served on my rock-hard abs. 286 00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:58,988 All this unagi ruined! 287 00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:01,779 He makes you breakfast and dinner? 288 00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:05,191 Wow. He really is a good boyfriend. 289 00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:08,278 Smurf off. 290 00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,364 Hey, Cam. I was just thinking about you. 291 00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:14,725 Okay, before you give me a jump, 292 00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:16,663 you should know I think I found out who stole the DVD. 293 00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:18,981 Cash. Yes, I spoke to him this morning. 294 00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,200 Now while I appreciate the enthusiasm, 295 00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:24,555 accusing your friend of grand larceny is sort of a dick move, if you ask me. 296 00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:27,202 All right, but you--you saw that Cash was at Comic-Con. 297 00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:28,126 You saw the footage, right? Yes, 298 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:30,609 the only difference is I watched all of it. 299 00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:32,991 You were so excited that Cash was at the Con, 300 00:14:32,992 --> 00:14:34,547 you got conned yourself. 301 00:14:36,573 --> 00:14:39,837 There. Right there in the nerd stampede for Adam West, 302 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,227 that's where the mutant turtle struck. 303 00:14:41,585 --> 00:14:43,558 You know where Cash was during all this? 304 00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:49,497 Sharing a funnel cake with what appears to be a Norse God 305 00:14:49,498 --> 00:14:51,070 who's eating his feelings. 306 00:14:51,071 --> 00:14:52,906 Oh, my God. Cash was right. 307 00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:53,800 That's the good news. 308 00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:56,951 The bad news is our thief made a web site that went live this morning. 309 00:14:57,799 --> 00:15:01,296 In eight hours, he promises to upload the stolen movie for the world to see. 310 00:15:01,297 --> 00:15:02,936 Now if we don't track this guy, 311 00:15:03,105 --> 00:15:04,884 the studio's holding us responsible. 312 00:15:04,885 --> 00:15:07,021 So how are we going to fix this? 313 00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:10,067 We can't, but I know who can. 314 00:15:11,017 --> 00:15:12,944 Can I get everyone's attention, please? 315 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,284 Last night, I accused a good friend of something he didn't do. 316 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,723 Truth is, I hacked my way into college, 317 00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:21,448 where I hid out for the last seven years. 318 00:15:21,449 --> 00:15:23,879 I was fine with not having any real friends, 319 00:15:24,177 --> 00:15:28,153 and being so set in my ways has caused me to hurt someone 320 00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:30,317 I really care about. 321 00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:34,246 And for that... I'm sorry. 322 00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:39,124 Look, we have five hours to get this movie back, 323 00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:41,656 and that may seem impossible, but not for us. 324 00:15:42,099 --> 00:15:44,278 All right, this is our time! 325 00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:47,160 It's our time in here, and you know why? 326 00:15:47,765 --> 00:15:49,778 Because goonies never say "Die." 327 00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,561 You watched the movie? 328 00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,249 Does this answer your question? 329 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:59,456 No. Don't... Don't do that unless you mean it. 330 00:15:59,663 --> 00:16:01,211 Truffle shuffle, baby. 331 00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:23,649 That was beautiful. 332 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,099 All right, buddy. 333 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,794 There's only one person who can get inside 334 00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:32,468 the mind of the geek who stole this movie. 335 00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:36,033 This seems like a job for Black Zeus. 336 00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:40,372 The Zeus is loose. 337 00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:45,278 That's his catchphrase. 338 00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:54,802 All right, so I've gamed up every possible situation, 339 00:16:54,803 --> 00:16:56,239 and this is what I've come up with. 340 00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,210 Our thief is feeling pretty cool 341 00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:01,300 that he's seen something that no one else has, 342 00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:05,602 but what would any geek want to see more than a "Goonies" sequel? 343 00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:08,490 Only two things-- "Megan Fox 344 00:17:08,491 --> 00:17:10,934 Warrior Princess." 345 00:17:10,935 --> 00:17:14,852 So we give 'em both-- Megan Fox as Xena. 346 00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:17,357 The perfect storm. 347 00:17:17,376 --> 00:17:20,222 What if there was a pirated rough cut of a Xena movie 348 00:17:20,223 --> 00:17:23,123 that no one knew about, and we were willing to trade? 349 00:17:23,337 --> 00:17:25,652 No nerd alive would ever turn that down. 350 00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:28,428 But where are we gonna find someone who looks like Megan Fox? 351 00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:35,078 Oh. Damn it. 352 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:36,533 Fine. 353 00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:38,420 Where are you gonna find a Xena costume on such-- 354 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,583 Damn it. 355 00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:42,681 And... action. 356 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,943 I know you guys are fighting. 357 00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:48,578 Mel, you're feeling smothered, but you guys gotta lock lips. 358 00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:51,865 Come on, guys. We need this. Grab Hercules in your arms... 359 00:17:51,866 --> 00:17:54,714 And kiss him like your life depended on it. 360 00:17:54,868 --> 00:17:56,786 I mean, you just look so ridiculous. 361 00:17:56,905 --> 00:17:59,583 Yeah? Yeah, and you look... hot. 362 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,166 Baby, I'm an idiot. 363 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,475 I know, but I love you anyway. 364 00:18:07,226 --> 00:18:09,276 24/siete, baby. 365 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:15,047 All right, I think we got it. I think we got it. Let's cut. 366 00:18:15,048 --> 00:18:17,192 No, let the scene play. 367 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,556 Everybody, out! Get out! Out now! Go! 368 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,316 Sparta! 369 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,566 Okay, our thief really knows what he's doing. 370 00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,655 His goonileaks web site is untraceable. 371 00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:30,662 But he's been all over the message boards, 372 00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:32,963 bragging about his conquest. That's how we'll trap him. 373 00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:34,638 Did our little fishy take the bait? 374 00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:36,534 Oh, yeah. 375 00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:40,001 All right. Van's gassed up. Let's do this. 376 00:18:40,174 --> 00:18:42,787 Dude, what is wrong with your face? 377 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,285 What's right with yours? 378 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,153 Oh, my God. 379 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:51,934 Baby, the Xena kiss. I forgot about your peanut allergy. 380 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,760 Let me see. Hey. 381 00:18:53,761 --> 00:18:55,046 I regret nothing. 382 00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:56,213 Oh. 383 00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:02,422 All right, Black Zeus, eyes open. He's out there. 384 00:19:02,423 --> 00:19:03,466 Everyone in position? 385 00:19:03,538 --> 00:19:04,695 Check. 386 00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:06,763 Check. 387 00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:09,083 Check. 388 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:10,857 Check. 389 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,581 Check. 390 00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:16,113 Target acquired. You got a tortoise on your tail. 391 00:19:16,337 --> 00:19:18,068 Don't be a hero, Cash. 392 00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:20,668 I'm gonna have turtle soup tonight. 393 00:19:30,982 --> 00:19:32,037 Okay. 394 00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:34,002 On three, we trade. 395 00:19:38,822 --> 00:19:39,643 Come on. Hey. 396 00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:40,821 Wait your turn. 397 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,272 One, two... 398 00:19:46,479 --> 00:19:49,055 Got a broken arrow. Go, go, go, go. 399 00:19:52,031 --> 00:19:54,617 Hey, you guys! 400 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,711 That doesn't sound anything like Sloth. This guy sucks! 401 00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,457 Go, go, go, go, go! Move! Move! 402 00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:09,993 Where is he? Where? 403 00:20:11,858 --> 00:20:14,224 Well, he shed his shell. He could be anyone here, 404 00:20:14,225 --> 00:20:15,966 damn it. He got away with both DVDs. 405 00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:17,453 Oh, did he? 406 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,405 Sleight of hand. 407 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:23,382 Magic Camp, suckas. 408 00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,792 Three, two, one. 409 00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:28,933 Yeah! And the countdown is over. 410 00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:31,410 We have the movie. Nice work, people. 411 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,058 And I just got off the horn with the studio. 412 00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:36,106 Not only did you rescue their film from a mutant fanboy, 413 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,974 but you garnered them a ton of free publicity. 414 00:20:38,975 --> 00:20:42,904 If I had a tail, I'd be wagging it. Cheers! Cheers! 415 00:20:44,032 --> 00:20:45,607 All right! Hey, uh, 416 00:20:45,608 --> 00:20:46,959 you, uh, wanna hang tonight? 417 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,206 Maybe grab a beer, watch the Laker game? 418 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:53,856 No, I was thinking more along the lines of "Harry Potter"-thon. You in? 419 00:20:54,141 --> 00:20:55,719 I'm in like Slytherin. 420 00:20:55,939 --> 00:20:58,743 All right. Warlocks, abracadabra, 421 00:20:58,874 --> 00:21:00,657 that kid from... I don't know. 422 00:21:01,074 --> 00:21:03,235 You're trying. That's good. 423 00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:13,635 Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by Addic7ed.com www.addic7ed.com 424 00:21:13,685 --> 00:21:18,235 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32263

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