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1
00:00:05,763 --> 00:00:08,323
What's up, my muggle?
Hey, I got something for you.
2
00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:10,639
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! What are you doin'?
3
00:00:10,763 --> 00:00:12,722
Oh, me and my boy--
We're gonna get together this weekend
4
00:00:12,848 --> 00:00:13,980
and have a "Harry Potter"-thon.
5
00:00:14,087 --> 00:00:16,421
We're gonna kick back, pound
down some butterbeers,
6
00:00:16,548 --> 00:00:18,784
watch Hermione blossom into wizardhood,
7
00:00:18,898 --> 00:00:21,739
but not in a creepy way.
I have no idea what you just said,
8
00:00:21,864 --> 00:00:23,816
but how about we grab some real beers
9
00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,099
and watch the Laker game?
10
00:00:25,216 --> 00:00:26,955
No, well, that's cool, man.
I don't have a dad.
11
00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:29,860
Maybe some other time.
Lose yourself, baby.
12
00:00:30,026 --> 00:00:32,213
Lose yourself. Just you and me.
13
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,505
And me.
Here's the specs you wanted, Mel.
14
00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:37,398
Oh, jeez. Sorry. I gotta get back to work.
15
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,442
Baby, that was crazy good, though.
Yeah?
16
00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:42,770
Yeah. You know what's crazy gooder?
This sweet j-o-b.
17
00:00:42,888 --> 00:00:43,924
I mean, now that we work together,
18
00:00:44,055 --> 00:00:47,138
it's like we're being paid
to hang out 24/siete.
19
00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:50,810
If you need me, I'll be right in here.
20
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,862
Sweet, thoughtful bastard.
21
00:00:57,987 --> 00:01:00,373
And it sucks for you, 'cause
he's the best boyfriend ever.
22
00:01:00,498 --> 00:01:03,402
Yet there he is, tongue-holing a doughnut.
23
00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,657
Oh, God.
24
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,078
Okay, down to business.
25
00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:17,934
This weekend is Comic-Con,
26
00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:19,951
and we've been hired by a
Hollywood movie studio
27
00:01:20,056 --> 00:01:23,408
to protect a film they're going
to screen for 100 lucky virgins.
28
00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:26,344
It's the sequel to some '80s
movie called "The Goobers"
29
00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:28,104
or something.
"The Goonies"?
30
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:32,812
You have "Goonies 2: The Legend
of Sloth" here in our office?
31
00:01:33,436 --> 00:01:35,525
Mm. Nerdgasm.
32
00:01:35,635 --> 00:01:36,314
All right, listen up.
33
00:01:36,446 --> 00:01:39,541
This exclusive screening has
created quite the backlash,
34
00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:41,880
and the studio's been receiving
a lot of angry threats
35
00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:45,558
from fanboys vowing to steal
it because they feel excluded.
36
00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:48,550
Isn't it just a kids' movie?
Kids' movie?
37
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,375
It's the geek Holy Grail.
38
00:01:50,498 --> 00:01:52,478
Truffle shuffle, baby.
39
00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:54,284
What are you doing?
Why are you l--
40
00:01:58,068 --> 00:02:01,102
I have no idea what that means,
but I know your jobs are
41
00:02:01,236 --> 00:02:03,177
to ensure safe delivery of this film.
42
00:02:03,301 --> 00:02:05,924
My job is to tan your hides if you fail.
43
00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:08,569
Now the fans are rabid and mobilized.
44
00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:10,481
They have vowed to steal
the movie, so you've gotta
45
00:02:10,592 --> 00:02:14,267
protect it at all costs.
We have to be discreet.
46
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,773
Now this DVD is heavily encrypted.
47
00:02:16,877 --> 00:02:18,990
It can't be copied, but
we can't be too safe.
48
00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:20,771
Melanie, I need you to design
49
00:02:20,893 --> 00:02:23,200
a secure transport case for this DVD.
50
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:27,835
Maybe secure it with a bra clasp
so the nerds can't get into it.
51
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,425
Dutch-down! Josh, we're gonna
need you in one of your disguises
52
00:02:31,525 --> 00:02:33,962
so you can be our eyes and
ears on the Comic-Con floor.
53
00:02:34,076 --> 00:02:36,206
And no, I will not pay for a Batmobile.
54
00:02:36,332 --> 00:02:40,098
Ooh! Okay, now me. Now me. What's my job?
Your job is gonna be
55
00:02:40,196 --> 00:02:42,610
in the van with me,
monitoring security feed.
56
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,617
Cameron, your job is gonna
be to hand-deliver the film,
57
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,227
stay there until they finish the screening,
58
00:02:47,332 --> 00:02:48,964
then return it here to contra safely.
59
00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:51,402
What?! Why does Cam get the best job ever?
60
00:02:51,525 --> 00:02:54,684
I mean, the Con is my world!
I'm an expert at this.
61
00:02:54,804 --> 00:02:56,758
I even self-published
my own superhero comic.
62
00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:59,633
Yes, we all know about Black Zeus--
63
00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:02,243
Rapper by day, secret agent by night.
64
00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,448
Who raps during the day?
65
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:10,047
You are too close to this.
It's like my daddy always said--
66
00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:12,750
Don't give the pill popper
keys to the pharmacy.
67
00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:15,719
He was a pill popper... and a pharmacist.
68
00:03:15,842 --> 00:03:17,430
Do we, uh, at least get to watch it?
69
00:03:17,553 --> 00:03:18,978
Yes, in the theaters, with everyone else.
70
00:03:19,114 --> 00:03:21,413
Now hand over the DVD you just swiped.
71
00:03:23,672 --> 00:03:26,009
Three years of Magic Camp for nothin'!
72
00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:29,831
Well, not really for nothin'.
I made a lot of lifelong friends.
73
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,989
Hey, what the hell was that?
74
00:03:33,164 --> 00:03:35,125
What? You didn't have my
back in there with Oz.
75
00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:37,810
I mean, we're boys. We share jobs, kidneys,
76
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,979
superlong noodles,
"Lady and the Tramp" style.
77
00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:41,612
I think you're very confused right now.
78
00:03:41,735 --> 00:03:43,518
I am, 'cause our boss is
79
00:03:43,652 --> 00:03:45,265
the most unfair man on the planet.
80
00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,491
I hate to say it, but I
kind of agree with him.
81
00:03:47,616 --> 00:03:50,689
What? You know this is important to me.
82
00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:52,005
"Goonies" is my thing.
83
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:56,412
I mean, you haven't even seen the movie.
Name one Goonie.
84
00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:57,988
Gary Goonie.
85
00:03:58,127 --> 00:04:00,486
Gary Goonie? Gary Goonie?!
Are you serious?!
86
00:04:00,618 --> 00:04:03,304
That right there is probably why
I'm the best man for the job.
87
00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:05,563
It's just a movie.
I'm telling you, as a friend,
88
00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:09,018
you gotta get a grip.
You get a grip! Okay, you're not my friend.
89
00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:10,481
You're my worst enemy, man.
90
00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,145
I'm outta here! I can't believe this!
91
00:04:12,477 --> 00:04:15,106
No! I can't believe it. Gary Goonie.
92
00:04:15,237 --> 00:04:17,003
I can't believe he said--
Really?!
93
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,074
Here's your Gary Goonie. Here it is!
Gary Goonie! Cash. Ca--
94
00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:23,656
Gary Goonie?! You're dead to me!
95
00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,533
Hey. You're here early.
96
00:04:32,649 --> 00:04:35,627
Hey. Just trying to squeeze in
a little me time before--
97
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:38,131
There she is!
Why didn't you wake me up, Boo?
98
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,566
I was gonna make us some brekkie.
99
00:04:39,681 --> 00:04:41,444
It's egg white Wednesday. Come on.
100
00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:43,774
We'll read each other some comics.
Yay.
101
00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:47,708
Come on.
Whoo-hoo! A cup of Joe, toots?
102
00:04:47,841 --> 00:04:49,276
Oh. Thanks.
103
00:04:49,402 --> 00:04:53,777
Coffee is for winners.
And guess whose cover got blown.
104
00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:56,818
Ours. The fanboys have all been tipped off,
105
00:04:56,944 --> 00:04:59,799
and they'll be gunning for us.
Our faces are everywhere.
106
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:01,242
Well, your faces.
107
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,922
It's virtually impossible to
capture my likeness on camera--
108
00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:07,771
An old trick I learned from
a Zulu shaman named...
109
00:05:07,905 --> 00:05:10,466
That explains the pictures
from the company picnic.
110
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,494
Tell me--
How are things going with Cash?
111
00:05:18,606 --> 00:05:20,404
I know he wasn't too
happy with either of us.
112
00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:23,159
Well, apparently my best friend
took the train to crazy town
113
00:05:23,269 --> 00:05:24,706
and is now my sworn enemy.
114
00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,573
Well, this job is very, very important,
115
00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,113
so you two lovebirds better work it out,
116
00:05:28,264 --> 00:05:29,894
or I'm gonna be forced
to work it out for you,
117
00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:32,177
and my version involves a car battery
118
00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:34,891
clamped to a certain body part.
I'll give you a hint.
119
00:05:35,031 --> 00:05:36,679
It rhymes with "mesticles."
120
00:05:38,194 --> 00:05:41,208
Hello? Hello?
121
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:43,707
What the...
122
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:45,894
What?
123
00:05:46,356 --> 00:05:49,282
It's got my ass! It's got my ass!
What?
124
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:56,522
You done?
125
00:05:58,177 --> 00:05:59,947
Yes, I'm done.
126
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:04,448
You.
127
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,117
It's only just begun.
128
00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:12,873
Unless you tell Oz to give me your job.
129
00:06:12,994 --> 00:06:15,966
Hell, no. You want a prank war?
You got one.
130
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,376
I'm gonna own you.
Pranking is my thing, bitch.
131
00:06:19,499 --> 00:06:21,129
Well, you're about to get
beat at your own thing,
132
00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:23,453
bitch.
Saying "bitch" is my thing, bitch.
133
00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:25,676
You can't have two things, bitch.
134
00:06:25,816 --> 00:06:29,555
Well, I do. Game, set, Cash.
135
00:06:30,004 --> 00:06:33,923
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
136
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,426
Can I help you?
We saw your post all over hedo.com.
137
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,437
We're here for the All Night Bang-athon.
138
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:02,009
And the rippin' and the tearin'.
The rippin' and the tearin'.
139
00:07:03,287 --> 00:07:05,269
I'm tearin' off my clothes!
140
00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:08,555
Owned.
141
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:11,186
Dude, I live with my mom, man.
142
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,891
I mean, she had her church group over.
143
00:07:12,994 --> 00:07:14,380
I had to join the prayer circle.
144
00:07:14,503 --> 00:07:17,625
Stuff went down. It was, like,
this whole thing. So we even?
145
00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,583
We will be... once those boner pills
146
00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:22,215
I put in your coffee kick in.
147
00:07:22,329 --> 00:07:24,163
No. I think I would've seen you do that.
148
00:07:24,282 --> 00:07:26,008
Sleight of hand.
149
00:07:26,671 --> 00:07:28,208
Magic Camp.
150
00:07:28,325 --> 00:07:29,836
Sucka!
151
00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:40,460
Move!
What?
152
00:07:40,571 --> 00:07:41,633
I need to get under your desk.
153
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:43,614
No! No, no, no, no. Any time but now.
154
00:07:43,744 --> 00:07:46,244
Yo, melon balls! Where are you, girl?
155
00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:48,266
Cam, what's up?
156
00:07:48,386 --> 00:07:51,298
Hey, I just saw a midget driving a car.
157
00:07:51,411 --> 00:07:53,652
Genius! Offensive.
158
00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:54,821
She gets it.
159
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:57,702
Say, you seen my old lady?
No. No, no, no.
160
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,272
Well, if you do, you tell
her I'm in the garage,
161
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:02,421
working on the van.
I put some shag down in the back
162
00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:06,191
so me and Mel can put some
shag down in the back. Bump!
163
00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:08,384
Rebump. Bump-fecta.
164
00:08:08,498 --> 00:08:10,980
Please go.
You betcha.
165
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,771
This isn't from you. It's from Cash.
166
00:08:21,617 --> 00:08:23,065
Okay. Sweetie.
167
00:08:29,322 --> 00:08:30,910
Ownage.
168
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:33,177
Oh, baby's gonna tell on me.
169
00:08:33,308 --> 00:08:36,872
Baby's gonna tell on me, is he?
170
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,252
Please don't tell on me.
Oz, I've had enough.
171
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,222
Ever since we got this case,
Cash has been acting insane.
172
00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:44,763
Watch.
Gary Goonie. Gary Goonie. I'll kill you.
173
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,634
See, I can't work with this guy.
Well,
174
00:08:46,765 --> 00:08:48,887
if that's how you feel,
Cash, you are off the case.
175
00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:50,818
What? Wait. I can't even sit in the van
176
00:08:50,941 --> 00:08:53,091
when we're at Comic-Con?
We don't need two people in there.
177
00:08:53,204 --> 00:08:55,262
Stay here. Man the office.
178
00:08:57,138 --> 00:08:58,522
Looks like you won, man.
179
00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:01,085
Congrats. Hope it feels good.
180
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:05,678
You are sporting a wicked--
181
00:09:05,784 --> 00:09:08,903
Yes. Save that excitement for Comic-Con.
182
00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,741
Let's go.
183
00:09:24,691 --> 00:09:26,466
All right, ladies, look alive.
184
00:09:26,594 --> 00:09:29,345
Cambo, the DVD is stashed in your cart.
185
00:09:29,464 --> 00:09:30,786
Roger that. I'm heading in.
186
00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,959
Josh, you're my eyes and ears out there.
187
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,454
You see anything weird?
188
00:09:37,027 --> 00:09:40,016
Um, you mean besides everything?
189
00:09:40,137 --> 00:09:42,918
Yeah, I'm talking about the movie.
Any chatter? Goonies!
190
00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:44,826
Well, hall "A" is completely surrounded
191
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,160
with angry goonheads trying
to get into that screening.
192
00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:48,650
We're gonna have to watch our step in here.
193
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,025
Give us "Goonies," or give us death!
194
00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:52,438
Yeah!
195
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,088
10-4. Cameron, I'll reroute you.
196
00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,257
Melanie, where you at
with the security feed?
197
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,794
Patching in now.
198
00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:12,487
'Sup, gorgeous? Check out what I got.
199
00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:14,752
Boom! What are you doing here?
200
00:10:14,878 --> 00:10:15,874
You're supposed to be in the van.
201
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,071
Yeah, Oz has got it under control.
202
00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:18,116
I thought I'd keep you company.
203
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,355
Still not patched in, Mel.
Shake a leg.
204
00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,234
Yeah, I'm handling it.
Whoa.
205
00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:25,211
What's with the peanuts?
You know I'm crazy allergic.
206
00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:28,497
I know. You're not supposed to be here.
Today, peaches!
207
00:10:28,623 --> 00:10:30,109
I'm handling it.
208
00:10:30,244 --> 00:10:32,524
Look, this is my cover,
and you're blowing it.
209
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,930
Will you just--just give me some space
for once, please?
210
00:10:36,074 --> 00:10:40,054
What--what are you trying to say?
She's saying back off, bro.
211
00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:42,495
Trust me. I know women.
Hey, I'm Jared.
212
00:10:42,626 --> 00:10:45,389
You know what, Mel?
Gobble all the peanuts you want.
213
00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:47,293
Jam your mouth full of peanuts.
214
00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:52,485
Rub peanuts all over yourself
for all I care. Later, Thor.
215
00:10:52,717 --> 00:10:54,048
Dutch!
216
00:10:54,232 --> 00:10:55,599
Thank you.
217
00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:58,735
About time.
All right, Cammy,
218
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,694
screening room is 80
yards to your northeast.
219
00:11:01,836 --> 00:11:04,114
Look alive, people.
There's been an Adam West sighting.
220
00:11:04,227 --> 00:11:06,372
A bunch of caped nerds are headed your way.
221
00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:09,297
Okay, calm down!
222
00:11:10,219 --> 00:11:11,930
Jeez, guys, it's just Adam West.
223
00:11:12,052 --> 00:11:13,366
Calm down!
224
00:11:16,454 --> 00:11:18,897
Okay, I'm at the door of
the screening room now.
225
00:11:19,014 --> 00:11:20,061
Looks like you're all clear.
226
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:21,399
Bring it on home.
227
00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,222
Oh, no.
228
00:11:27,665 --> 00:11:29,782
Cameron, where's that DVD?
Oh, no.
229
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,488
Warming up the car battery.
230
00:11:33,935 --> 00:11:36,458
I've got a $100 million movie
lost, the studio freaking out,
231
00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:39,478
and this company's reputation--
my reputation--on the line.
232
00:11:39,479 --> 00:11:42,514
I know. Whoever stole the DVD
is on that security footage.
233
00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:43,970
I'm gonna look over every inch of it.
234
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,134
You better or you're gonna
start looking for another job.
235
00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:48,259
Make like a pair of ta-tas and bounce.
236
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,330
Okay.
237
00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,867
Dude, what the--
Do you know what time it is?
238
00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:00,903
My mom has to be at the courthouse at 6:00.
239
00:12:00,904 --> 00:12:02,741
Oh. Why does she have to go to court?
240
00:12:02,742 --> 00:12:04,659
'Cause she's the judge, racist.
241
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,467
Look, I spent the last five hours
going through security footage,
242
00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:10,592
and you won't believe what I found...
243
00:12:11,104 --> 00:12:14,192
...You.
I don't recall Oz asking you to be there.
244
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:17,447
Well, I was, as a registered guest,
245
00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:20,289
'cause my ex-best friend
got me kicked off the job.
246
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:21,795
So this was your plan to get back at me?
247
00:12:21,796 --> 00:12:22,836
'Cause from where I'm standing,
248
00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:24,589
it sure looks like another
one of your pranks.
249
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,544
Are you implying that I stole the movie?
250
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,600
I'm without a doubt saying
you stole the movie.
251
00:12:28,601 --> 00:12:30,595
What makes you think I would
do something like that?
252
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:33,520
Now hand over the DVD you just swiped.
253
00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:34,687
Gary Goonie. Gary Goonie.
254
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,153
I'll kill you.
255
00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:38,911
But you know what'd be awesome?
256
00:12:38,912 --> 00:12:40,344
Stealing that movie.
257
00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:42,459
Listen, I may be mad at you,
258
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,411
but I'm not gonna sabotage my own team.
259
00:12:45,116 --> 00:12:46,605
Look me in the eyes.
260
00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:49,259
Tell me you believe I did
not steal that movie.
261
00:12:51,324 --> 00:12:53,198
Sorry, Cash. Not buying it.
262
00:12:53,798 --> 00:12:55,879
Dude, you're a crappy friend, man.
263
00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:58,027
And to think, I invited you
to watch "Harry Potter"
264
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,842
'cause I thought you were my Ron Weasley.
265
00:13:00,098 --> 00:13:03,260
But it turns out you're nothing
more than a professor Snape!
266
00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:05,374
No idea what any of that means.
267
00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:06,756
That means get out of my house.
268
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:07,740
Garage.
269
00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:10,496
It has a mini fridge and a front door.
Makes it a house.
270
00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,016
Oh, yeah.
No, totally.
271
00:13:12,734 --> 00:13:13,687
Ooh!
272
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:14,749
Really?
273
00:13:19,164 --> 00:13:20,435
Garage.
274
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,487
Good morning.
275
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,602
Dude, why are you still wearing that?
276
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,936
Actually, never took it off.
277
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,664
Met a smurf at Comic-Con,
278
00:13:31,665 --> 00:13:35,383
and I smurfed the smurf out
of her, all smurf long.
279
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,734
Well, I'm so happy you had a great night.
280
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,172
Me? Not so much.
281
00:13:42,066 --> 00:13:45,191
Hey, babe. I'm sorry about that.
I was just grabbing a quick...
282
00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,394
What are you doing?
283
00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:48,840
Where have you been?
284
00:13:49,492 --> 00:13:52,091
I hand-rolled the Sushi myself!
285
00:13:53,004 --> 00:13:56,040
It was supposed to be a peace
offering served on my rock-hard abs.
286
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:58,988
All this unagi ruined!
287
00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:01,779
He makes you breakfast and dinner?
288
00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:05,191
Wow. He really is a good boyfriend.
289
00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:08,278
Smurf off.
290
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,364
Hey, Cam. I was just thinking about you.
291
00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:14,725
Okay, before you give me a jump,
292
00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:16,663
you should know I think I
found out who stole the DVD.
293
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:18,981
Cash.
Yes, I spoke to him this morning.
294
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,200
Now while I appreciate the enthusiasm,
295
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:24,555
accusing your friend of grand larceny
is sort of a dick move, if you ask me.
296
00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:27,202
All right, but you--you saw that Cash
was at Comic-Con.
297
00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:28,126
You saw the footage, right?
Yes,
298
00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:30,609
the only difference is I watched all of it.
299
00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:32,991
You were so excited that
Cash was at the Con,
300
00:14:32,992 --> 00:14:34,547
you got conned yourself.
301
00:14:36,573 --> 00:14:39,837
There. Right there in the
nerd stampede for Adam West,
302
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,227
that's where the mutant turtle struck.
303
00:14:41,585 --> 00:14:43,558
You know where Cash was during all this?
304
00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:49,497
Sharing a funnel cake with
what appears to be a Norse God
305
00:14:49,498 --> 00:14:51,070
who's eating his feelings.
306
00:14:51,071 --> 00:14:52,906
Oh, my God. Cash was right.
307
00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:53,800
That's the good news.
308
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:56,951
The bad news is our thief made a web
site that went live this morning.
309
00:14:57,799 --> 00:15:01,296
In eight hours, he promises to upload
the stolen movie for the world to see.
310
00:15:01,297 --> 00:15:02,936
Now if we don't track this guy,
311
00:15:03,105 --> 00:15:04,884
the studio's holding us responsible.
312
00:15:04,885 --> 00:15:07,021
So how are we going to fix this?
313
00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:10,067
We can't, but I know who can.
314
00:15:11,017 --> 00:15:12,944
Can I get everyone's attention, please?
315
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,284
Last night, I accused a good
friend of something he didn't do.
316
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,723
Truth is, I hacked my way into college,
317
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:21,448
where I hid out for the last seven years.
318
00:15:21,449 --> 00:15:23,879
I was fine with not
having any real friends,
319
00:15:24,177 --> 00:15:28,153
and being so set in my ways
has caused me to hurt someone
320
00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:30,317
I really care about.
321
00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:34,246
And for that... I'm sorry.
322
00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:39,124
Look, we have five hours
to get this movie back,
323
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:41,656
and that may seem
impossible, but not for us.
324
00:15:42,099 --> 00:15:44,278
All right, this is our time!
325
00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:47,160
It's our time in here, and you know why?
326
00:15:47,765 --> 00:15:49,778
Because goonies never say "Die."
327
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,561
You watched the movie?
328
00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,249
Does this answer your question?
329
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:59,456
No. Don't...
Don't do that unless you mean it.
330
00:15:59,663 --> 00:16:01,211
Truffle shuffle, baby.
331
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:23,649
That was beautiful.
332
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,099
All right, buddy.
333
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,794
There's only one person who can get inside
334
00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:32,468
the mind of the geek who stole this movie.
335
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:36,033
This seems like a job for Black Zeus.
336
00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:40,372
The Zeus is loose.
337
00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:45,278
That's his catchphrase.
338
00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:54,802
All right, so I've gamed up
every possible situation,
339
00:16:54,803 --> 00:16:56,239
and this is what I've come up with.
340
00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,210
Our thief is feeling pretty cool
341
00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:01,300
that he's seen something
that no one else has,
342
00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:05,602
but what would any geek want to
see more than a "Goonies" sequel?
343
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:08,490
Only two things--
"Megan Fox
344
00:17:08,491 --> 00:17:10,934
Warrior Princess."
345
00:17:10,935 --> 00:17:14,852
So we give 'em both--
Megan Fox as Xena.
346
00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:17,357
The perfect storm.
347
00:17:17,376 --> 00:17:20,222
What if there was a pirated
rough cut of a Xena movie
348
00:17:20,223 --> 00:17:23,123
that no one knew about, and
we were willing to trade?
349
00:17:23,337 --> 00:17:25,652
No nerd alive would ever turn that down.
350
00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:28,428
But where are we gonna find
someone who looks like Megan Fox?
351
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:35,078
Oh. Damn it.
352
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:36,533
Fine.
353
00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:38,420
Where are you gonna find
a Xena costume on such--
354
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,583
Damn it.
355
00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:42,681
And... action.
356
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,943
I know you guys are fighting.
357
00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:48,578
Mel, you're feeling smothered,
but you guys gotta lock lips.
358
00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:51,865
Come on, guys. We need this.
Grab Hercules in your arms...
359
00:17:51,866 --> 00:17:54,714
And kiss him like your life depended on it.
360
00:17:54,868 --> 00:17:56,786
I mean, you just look so ridiculous.
361
00:17:56,905 --> 00:17:59,583
Yeah?
Yeah, and you look... hot.
362
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,166
Baby, I'm an idiot.
363
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,475
I know, but I love you anyway.
364
00:18:07,226 --> 00:18:09,276
24/siete, baby.
365
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:15,047
All right, I think we got it.
I think we got it. Let's cut.
366
00:18:15,048 --> 00:18:17,192
No, let the scene play.
367
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,556
Everybody, out! Get out! Out now! Go!
368
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,316
Sparta!
369
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,566
Okay, our thief really
knows what he's doing.
370
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,655
His goonileaks web site is untraceable.
371
00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:30,662
But he's been all over the message boards,
372
00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:32,963
bragging about his conquest.
That's how we'll trap him.
373
00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:34,638
Did our little fishy take the bait?
374
00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:36,534
Oh, yeah.
375
00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:40,001
All right. Van's gassed up. Let's do this.
376
00:18:40,174 --> 00:18:42,787
Dude, what is wrong with your face?
377
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,285
What's right with yours?
378
00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,153
Oh, my God.
379
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:51,934
Baby, the Xena kiss.
I forgot about your peanut allergy.
380
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,760
Let me see. Hey.
381
00:18:53,761 --> 00:18:55,046
I regret nothing.
382
00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:56,213
Oh.
383
00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:02,422
All right, Black Zeus, eyes open.
He's out there.
384
00:19:02,423 --> 00:19:03,466
Everyone in position?
385
00:19:03,538 --> 00:19:04,695
Check.
386
00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:06,763
Check.
387
00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:09,083
Check.
388
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:10,857
Check.
389
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,581
Check.
390
00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:16,113
Target acquired.
You got a tortoise on your tail.
391
00:19:16,337 --> 00:19:18,068
Don't be a hero, Cash.
392
00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:20,668
I'm gonna have turtle soup tonight.
393
00:19:30,982 --> 00:19:32,037
Okay.
394
00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:34,002
On three, we trade.
395
00:19:38,822 --> 00:19:39,643
Come on.
Hey.
396
00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:40,821
Wait your turn.
397
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,272
One, two...
398
00:19:46,479 --> 00:19:49,055
Got a broken arrow. Go, go, go, go.
399
00:19:52,031 --> 00:19:54,617
Hey, you guys!
400
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,711
That doesn't sound anything like Sloth.
This guy sucks!
401
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,457
Go, go, go, go, go! Move! Move!
402
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:09,993
Where is he? Where?
403
00:20:11,858 --> 00:20:14,224
Well, he shed his shell.
He could be anyone here,
404
00:20:14,225 --> 00:20:15,966
damn it.
He got away with both DVDs.
405
00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:17,453
Oh, did he?
406
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,405
Sleight of hand.
407
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:23,382
Magic Camp, suckas.
408
00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,792
Three, two, one.
409
00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:28,933
Yeah! And the countdown is over.
410
00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:31,410
We have the movie. Nice work, people.
411
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,058
And I just got off the
horn with the studio.
412
00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:36,106
Not only did you rescue their
film from a mutant fanboy,
413
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,974
but you garnered them a
ton of free publicity.
414
00:20:38,975 --> 00:20:42,904
If I had a tail, I'd be wagging it.
Cheers! Cheers!
415
00:20:44,032 --> 00:20:45,607
All right!
Hey, uh,
416
00:20:45,608 --> 00:20:46,959
you, uh, wanna hang tonight?
417
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,206
Maybe grab a beer, watch the Laker game?
418
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:53,856
No, I was thinking more along the
lines of "Harry Potter"-thon. You in?
419
00:20:54,141 --> 00:20:55,719
I'm in like Slytherin.
420
00:20:55,939 --> 00:20:58,743
All right. Warlocks, abracadabra,
421
00:20:58,874 --> 00:21:00,657
that kid from... I don't know.
422
00:21:01,074 --> 00:21:03,235
You're trying. That's good.
423
00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:13,635
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424
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