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1
00:00:01,424 --> 00:00:02,890
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:25,347 --> 00:00:27,082
ERIC: It was oneof those nights.
3
00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:30,752
You know the kind,like day, but darker.
4
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,287
I'd had them before,except tonight
5
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:35,523
somebody was dead.
6
00:00:37,026 --> 00:00:39,527
Now it was my jobto catch a murderer,
7
00:00:39,595 --> 00:00:42,730
and believe me,there were plenty of suspects.
8
00:00:42,798 --> 00:00:43,798
Him.
9
00:00:43,866 --> 00:00:44,932
Her, not the cop.
10
00:00:45,368 --> 00:00:46,701
Her.
11
00:00:46,768 --> 00:00:47,935
Him.
12
00:00:48,437 --> 00:00:49,604
Her.
13
00:00:49,671 --> 00:00:51,439
That guy next to her,that guy, him.
14
00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:54,175
And, of course,the guy with the hat.
15
00:00:57,246 --> 00:00:58,480
Not me.
16
00:00:58,547 --> 00:00:59,780
I'm the guy talking.
17
00:01:04,086 --> 00:01:05,520
So, what's your
story, fez-head?
18
00:01:07,123 --> 00:01:09,291
No free words in this
town, flatfoot.
19
00:01:09,925 --> 00:01:11,159
Talk ain't cheap.
20
00:01:12,662 --> 00:01:13,762
Here.
21
00:01:15,598 --> 00:01:16,764
But, apparently,
you are.
22
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:21,102
Enough of the flattery,
fez-head, I already like you.
23
00:01:21,737 --> 00:01:22,904
So, come on, talk.
24
00:01:24,173 --> 00:01:25,840
She got in the way.
25
00:01:25,908 --> 00:01:27,643
In the way of what?
26
00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,212
You're the detective.
You figure it out.
27
00:01:34,483 --> 00:01:36,017
ERIC: He had a point.
28
00:01:36,084 --> 00:01:37,552
Maybe that's whyhe wore a hat.
29
00:01:39,322 --> 00:01:42,757
But not only did I have to figure
out who killed her and why,
30
00:01:42,825 --> 00:01:44,726
I also had to figureout who she was.
31
00:01:51,134 --> 00:01:53,234
(CARTOONS PLAYING ON TV)
32
00:01:53,302 --> 00:01:55,870
(CORY LAUGHING LOUDLY)
33
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:02,610
Oh, that's great!
34
00:02:02,678 --> 00:02:04,746
That's great!
That's great!
35
00:02:04,847 --> 00:02:06,047
(CARTOON SOUNDS CONINUE)
36
00:02:06,182 --> 00:02:07,715
Something wrong?
37
00:02:07,783 --> 00:02:10,318
Cory, you and I have the
exact same paper due tomorrow.
38
00:02:10,386 --> 00:02:12,220
How is it that I'm sitting
here, studying,
39
00:02:12,287 --> 00:02:14,155
and you're sitting there,
watching that stupid coyote
40
00:02:14,223 --> 00:02:17,024
fall into the
Grand Canyon again?
41
00:02:17,092 --> 00:02:19,661
I want to make sure
he's gonna be all right.
42
00:02:19,728 --> 00:02:21,830
He's always all right!
43
00:02:21,898 --> 00:02:25,266
What if this is
the one time he dies?
44
00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:26,601
How can you
live like this?
45
00:02:26,669 --> 00:02:28,069
How can you live
like this?
46
00:02:28,137 --> 00:02:29,470
You're always prepared.
47
00:02:29,538 --> 00:02:32,274
You're always ready.
I hate ready!
48
00:02:32,341 --> 00:02:35,444
Stop, stop! Just stop picking
up the popcorn, okay?
49
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:36,745
Now, listen to me.
50
00:02:36,813 --> 00:02:38,647
You've worked very
hard tonight, okay?
51
00:02:38,715 --> 00:02:40,248
You deserve
a little break.
52
00:02:40,316 --> 00:02:41,850
Now, I want you
to sit here, okay?
53
00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:44,553
Just sit with Cory.
Relax a little bit.
54
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,921
And we're gonna watch some
nice, quality animation.
55
00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:49,624
Cory, we are married now.
We're adults.
56
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,226
We have to
be responsible.
57
00:02:51,294 --> 00:02:54,229
Responsibility is not
popcorn or cartoons.
58
00:02:54,297 --> 00:02:56,898
(IMITATING) Responsibility
is not popcorn or cartoons!
59
00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:02,504
And, frankly, you could use a
bit of stress in your life!
60
00:03:02,571 --> 00:03:03,538
Oh, you think so?
61
00:03:03,606 --> 00:03:05,039
You think I should
make everyone nuts
62
00:03:05,107 --> 00:03:07,375
by being a stressed-out,
control freak,
63
00:03:07,443 --> 00:03:08,844
until everyone
wants to kill me?
64
00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:10,178
Oh, you want to kill me?
65
00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:12,179
No.
66
00:03:12,247 --> 00:03:14,549
I'm just talking
about, you know,
67
00:03:14,617 --> 00:03:18,053
everyone that knows you.
(CHUCKLES)
68
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,923
Look, Topanga, life is just
too short for this, okay?
69
00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:26,261
And the difference between you
and me, is that me knows that.
70
00:03:26,328 --> 00:03:29,431
Did you just use "me" ,
as the subject of a sentence?
71
00:03:30,466 --> 00:03:31,499
I don't believe it.
72
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,435
Topanga, come on!
73
00:03:33,502 --> 00:03:36,171
Relax! Take
a little time-out.
74
00:03:36,238 --> 00:03:37,538
Cory, this is life!
75
00:03:37,606 --> 00:03:39,307
You can't take
a time-out from life.
76
00:03:39,374 --> 00:03:40,408
Just because
something bad happens
77
00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:42,043
doesn't mean you can escape
into a fantasy world.
78
00:03:42,945 --> 00:03:43,978
(LAUGHS LOUDLY)
79
00:03:44,046 --> 00:03:45,980
Fine, you want
me to relax?
80
00:03:46,048 --> 00:03:47,182
I'll relax.
81
00:03:47,249 --> 00:03:49,584
That's my girl!
I will clean the closet.
82
00:03:49,652 --> 00:03:51,486
Cleaning is not relaxation.
83
00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:54,856
Well it's better than watching a
duck with a speech impediment!
84
00:03:54,923 --> 00:03:57,592
Daffy is doing the best he can
with what he has, all right!
85
00:03:58,628 --> 00:03:59,861
He's an idiot!
86
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:01,763
(LAUGHS)
87
00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:09,970
Cory, did you know that there
was a doorway back here?
88
00:04:10,039 --> 00:04:13,175
(LAUGHS )
Oh, yeah!
89
00:04:14,777 --> 00:04:15,744
(DOOR SQUEAKING)
90
00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:17,612
(RUMBLING NOISE)
91
00:04:21,484 --> 00:04:23,351
You know those time
continuum vortex things
92
00:04:23,419 --> 00:04:25,020
we're studying in physics?
93
00:04:25,087 --> 00:04:26,755
This kind of looks like one.
94
00:04:26,822 --> 00:04:28,456
I wonder what's behind...
95
00:04:28,523 --> 00:04:29,991
(VORTEX WHOOSHING)
96
00:04:31,527 --> 00:04:33,161
Topanga, this popcorn
needs salt.
97
00:04:53,949 --> 00:04:55,917
(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)
98
00:04:59,054 --> 00:05:02,290
In the olden days,a glimpse of stocking
99
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:04,759
Was looked onas something shocking
100
00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:08,430
Now Heaven knows
101
00:05:08,497 --> 00:05:11,732
Anything goes
102
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,169
ERIC: Rory's Shangri-la Cafe.
103
00:05:14,236 --> 00:05:16,938
Where you check yourproblems at the door.
104
00:05:17,006 --> 00:05:18,907
People come herefor all different reasons
105
00:05:18,974 --> 00:05:21,543
but stay for just one,to forget.
106
00:05:23,612 --> 00:05:25,913
Ella Fitzgerald Kennedy,
107
00:05:25,981 --> 00:05:27,682
used to sing with Sinatra.
108
00:05:28,383 --> 00:05:30,218
Irv Sinatra.
109
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:33,421
The guy ticklin' the ivoriesis, Wee Hawkin Willy.
110
00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:34,889
Direct descendantof Beethoven.
111
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:36,858
Harry Beethoven.
112
00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:41,563
Fez-head and Costello,they're always together.
113
00:05:42,598 --> 00:05:43,598
People talk.
114
00:05:45,401 --> 00:05:47,535
Hey, move away from me,
fez-head, people are talking.
115
00:05:50,072 --> 00:05:51,806
Don't flatter
yourself, Gertrude.
116
00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:58,813
Aw, crazy, mixed-up kid.
You look lost.
117
00:05:59,615 --> 00:06:01,983
That's Angel, 'nuff said.
118
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:04,252
Hi, I'm Angel Nuffsaid.
119
00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:07,421
How about a cup of joe?
120
00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:10,391
I'd love one, but I don't
seem to have any money.
121
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:12,260
Nobody needs
money here, kid.
122
00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:13,661
This is Rory's Shangri-la.
123
00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:16,564
Meet Isaac "Good Shot" Kelly.
124
00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:21,068
Walked into this placeyesterday and never left.
125
00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:28,876
Everyone seems so carefree
here, so relaxed.
126
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:31,178
Well, you can be too!
127
00:06:31,247 --> 00:06:34,950
Forget your troubles.
Come on, get happy!
128
00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:36,951
Forget your troubles.
Come on, get happy!
129
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,287
That could be a song.
130
00:06:41,189 --> 00:06:42,189
Nah.
131
00:06:43,826 --> 00:06:44,992
You know, if you're
looking for a job,
132
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:46,994
Angel could use
some help around here.
133
00:06:47,062 --> 00:06:48,062
(LAUGHS)
134
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,499
There I go again!
135
00:06:53,636 --> 00:06:56,004
She's the worst
waitress I've ever seen.
136
00:06:56,072 --> 00:06:58,573
But we all
love her for that.
137
00:06:58,641 --> 00:07:01,409
So, what are you
runnin' from, sister?
138
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,478
What do you mean?
139
00:07:03,545 --> 00:07:05,213
Well, everyone
that comes to Rory's,
140
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,748
is runnin' away
from somethin',
141
00:07:06,815 --> 00:07:08,682
or trying
to find somethin',
142
00:07:08,751 --> 00:07:09,951
usually themselves.
143
00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:13,388
I don't know who I am,
or why I'm even here.
144
00:07:14,489 --> 00:07:16,591
No one does,
and no one has to.
145
00:07:16,659 --> 00:07:17,992
All that matters
is that we're here.
146
00:07:18,093 --> 00:07:19,760
Is everybody happy?
147
00:07:19,828 --> 00:07:21,129
ALL: Rory!
148
00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:25,599
ERIC: That's Rory.
149
00:07:27,636 --> 00:07:29,270
He owns this placeand everything in it.
150
00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:31,239
But he doesn't own her...
151
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:33,908
Yet.
152
00:07:33,976 --> 00:07:35,509
And where have you been
all my life, baby?
153
00:07:36,912 --> 00:07:38,913
I don't know.
154
00:07:38,981 --> 00:07:41,415
So, who are you really,
and where are you from?
155
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:42,884
What did you do
and what do you think?
156
00:07:44,553 --> 00:07:46,621
I don't know who I am
or even why I'm here.
157
00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:48,422
I know someone
who can help.
158
00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:49,790
(SNAPS FINGERS)
159
00:07:49,858 --> 00:07:52,693
ERIC: That's where I come in.I'm the local gumshoe.
160
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:56,030
That's gum, on my shoe.
161
00:08:01,937 --> 00:08:02,937
More gum.
162
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:06,307
Someone's here to see ya.
163
00:08:09,744 --> 00:08:11,479
What do you
mean, a case?
164
00:08:11,547 --> 00:08:14,182
No silly, a person.
165
00:08:14,249 --> 00:08:15,149
(LAUGHS)
166
00:08:18,386 --> 00:08:22,356
ERIC: Beauty and no brains,a dangerous combination.
167
00:08:22,424 --> 00:08:23,591
I'm talkin' about me.
168
00:08:30,832 --> 00:08:32,766
Is this a bad time?
169
00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:34,936
I had a feelingthat if it wasn't yet,
170
00:08:35,671 --> 00:08:37,038
it was gonna be.
171
00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:38,907
Gonna be what?
172
00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:40,741
What?
173
00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:42,577
I just heard you say...
No, I didn't.
174
00:08:42,678 --> 00:08:44,178
But, I heard you!
175
00:08:44,245 --> 00:08:46,714
She was as stubborn as a
mule, with twice the kick.
176
00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:47,782
You did it again!
177
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,016
Did what?
178
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,019
Maybe thiswas a mistake.
179
00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:53,988
What?
I didn't say anything.
180
00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:55,890
Yes, you did!
181
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,696
Listen, please, please,
please, don't go!
182
00:09:01,764 --> 00:09:03,831
We don't get a whole lot of
crime here in Shangri-la,
183
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,100
so, uh, I don't
have a lot of cases.
184
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:07,167
Please, just sit down.
185
00:09:12,408 --> 00:09:13,841
What seems to be
the problem, Miss?
186
00:09:15,077 --> 00:09:17,545
I know this may sound crazy,
187
00:09:17,612 --> 00:09:20,714
but I don't seem to know
who I am or why I'm here!
188
00:09:20,782 --> 00:09:23,551
I seem to have lost
track of my identity.
189
00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:25,386
The case of the
missing identity.
190
00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:27,721
I'm gonna need some ID.
191
00:09:30,493 --> 00:09:31,659
Topanga, hurry up!
192
00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,194
Tweety's putting dynamite
in Sylvester's litter box!
193
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:36,965
Aah! (LAUGHS)
194
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,037
Hey, Trixie!
195
00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:44,305
Do you have the time?
196
00:09:44,373 --> 00:09:46,407
Honey, I got all
the time in the world!
197
00:09:46,509 --> 00:09:48,443
Ah, now you're talkin'
our language.
198
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:50,711
Shangri-la looks
good on you, honey.
199
00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:52,914
You know, you really
seem to fit in here.
200
00:09:52,982 --> 00:09:54,282
Like a glove, toots.
201
00:09:54,349 --> 00:09:57,352
A girl like me could get so used
to living in a place like this!
202
00:09:57,419 --> 00:09:58,853
Kind of feel like
I was meant to be here.
203
00:10:03,325 --> 00:10:04,525
Hey, dollface.
204
00:10:04,993 --> 00:10:06,227
Hey.
205
00:10:07,029 --> 00:10:08,295
I was talking
to fez-head.
206
00:10:09,865 --> 00:10:11,465
Nice to see
you, moron.
207
00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:17,238
I think I've got
a lead on your case.
208
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:19,207
What case?
209
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:20,942
He means
"person."
210
00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,010
(LAUGHS)
211
00:10:22,811 --> 00:10:23,777
Hmm.
212
00:10:24,947 --> 00:10:26,581
You don't remember
who you are, remember?
213
00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:29,417
Oh, that's right!
214
00:10:29,484 --> 00:10:31,986
I was having such a good
time here, I forgot!
215
00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:34,155
Like most peoplewho come to Rory's,
216
00:10:34,222 --> 00:10:36,157
she too had foundher Shangri-la.
217
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:40,261
Hey, Ella, that last
song was a real doozie!
218
00:10:40,329 --> 00:10:43,665
I couldn't sing a note without
sweet Willy on his 88s.
219
00:10:43,732 --> 00:10:47,168
ERIC: She didn't sing so good,and he didn't play so good.
220
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:50,504
But in Shangri-la,nobody cares.
221
00:10:50,572 --> 00:10:52,273
She don't sing
so good, fez-head.
222
00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,442
He don't play so good.
223
00:10:56,978 --> 00:10:58,746
We don't care!
We don't care!
224
00:10:58,814 --> 00:11:01,182
Some more coffee,
handsome?
225
00:11:01,249 --> 00:11:03,050
Sure, hit me baby,
one more time.
226
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,220
Hit me baby one more time?
227
00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:09,090
No.
228
00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:12,460
Say, doll, what do you
say you and I get hitched?
229
00:11:13,328 --> 00:11:14,462
What?
230
00:11:14,529 --> 00:11:17,165
Yeah, you know,
tie the knot,
231
00:11:17,232 --> 00:11:19,733
walk down the aisle,
make an honest man out of me.
232
00:11:20,468 --> 00:11:22,170
You want to marry me?
233
00:11:22,237 --> 00:11:24,405
Well, I hadn't really thought
about it, but sure, why not?
234
00:11:24,506 --> 00:11:26,274
But you don't know
anything about me.
235
00:11:26,341 --> 00:11:29,310
I know you're spontaneous,
and I know you're carefree.
236
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:30,978
You fit in perfectly here.
237
00:11:31,046 --> 00:11:32,713
And I'm not takin'
no for an answer.
238
00:11:32,781 --> 00:11:34,148
You won't have
to, Rory.
239
00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:35,950
I love it here,
you big lug!
240
00:11:36,819 --> 00:11:38,352
And I love you.
241
00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:40,387
Kiss me!
242
00:11:40,455 --> 00:11:42,556
Kiss me as if there weren't
a thought between us!
243
00:11:53,202 --> 00:11:55,937
Uh, sorry to interrupt,
244
00:11:56,004 --> 00:11:58,539
but I think I've got some leads
on your missing identity.
245
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,875
Give it to me
straight, stupid.
246
00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,445
This may sound stupid,
247
00:12:04,513 --> 00:12:06,915
but have you ever heard
of something called a
248
00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:09,950
"time continuum vortex"?
249
00:12:10,018 --> 00:12:11,919
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)
250
00:12:14,623 --> 00:12:16,190
"Time continuum vortex"?
251
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,492
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)
252
00:12:23,031 --> 00:12:24,031
(TOPANGA) This is life!
253
00:12:24,099 --> 00:12:25,433
You can't takea time-out from...
254
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,101
Responsibilityis not popcorn...
255
00:12:27,169 --> 00:12:28,769
CORY: (IMITATING) Responsibility
is not popcorn or cartoons!
256
00:12:28,837 --> 00:12:30,271
TOPANGA: Just becausesomething bad happens
257
00:12:30,339 --> 00:12:32,106
doesn't mean you can escapeinto a fantasy world.
258
00:12:32,174 --> 00:12:34,008
(CORY LAUGHING)
259
00:12:38,213 --> 00:12:39,213
Never heard of it.
260
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:51,659
Something told me my services
were no longer needed.
261
00:12:53,462 --> 00:12:54,928
Your services
are no longer needed.
262
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:58,666
Oh, yeah, it was her!
263
00:13:00,902 --> 00:13:02,202
Now that I'm
getting married,
264
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,605
it doesn't matter
who I was.
265
00:13:04,673 --> 00:13:07,408
Yeah, I seen a lotof dames like her.
266
00:13:07,476 --> 00:13:10,011
Thinking they couldrun away from who they are.
267
00:13:10,078 --> 00:13:13,180
But it's been my experiencethat no matter where you go,
268
00:13:13,248 --> 00:13:15,282
who you really arealways catches up with you.
269
00:13:15,884 --> 00:13:17,518
Just think.
270
00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:20,121
The two of us here
together in Shangri-la.
271
00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:21,389
Ain't it gonna
be grand?
272
00:13:23,191 --> 00:13:24,625
Could you stop
saying "ain't"?
273
00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,129
What's wrong with
me saying "ain't"?
274
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,032
I don't know. It just
kind of makes me angry.
275
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:34,802
Without knowin' it,
276
00:13:34,869 --> 00:13:37,037
she was giving me cluesas to who she really was.
277
00:13:38,374 --> 00:13:39,907
So now that we're
getting married,
278
00:13:39,975 --> 00:13:41,642
maybe you could
tell me what you do.
279
00:13:41,709 --> 00:13:43,911
Do? (CHUCKLES)
What do you mean "do"?
280
00:13:44,947 --> 00:13:46,647
This is what I do.
I'm a dandy.
281
00:13:47,548 --> 00:13:48,849
A what?
282
00:13:48,917 --> 00:13:51,518
I'm the one who says,
"is everybody happy?"
283
00:13:51,586 --> 00:13:53,520
ALL: Rory!
284
00:13:53,588 --> 00:13:54,555
Hey!
285
00:13:55,223 --> 00:13:56,691
You see what I mean?
286
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:58,892
Uh, I guess that's okay.
287
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,395
I guess I could be
Mrs. Dandy.
288
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:03,397
Oh, that's swell.
289
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:05,466
But could she really?
290
00:14:06,101 --> 00:14:07,167
Was I the only one
291
00:14:07,235 --> 00:14:09,236
who thought this damewas about to run amok?
292
00:14:09,938 --> 00:14:11,405
That's it!
293
00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:15,109
This dame'sabout to run amok
294
00:14:15,177 --> 00:14:19,213
Looks like we've allrun out of luck
295
00:14:19,281 --> 00:14:23,917
And nothing's evergonna be the same again
296
00:14:39,534 --> 00:14:41,535
That dame is poison,
I tell you.
297
00:14:41,603 --> 00:14:43,337
Don't say "dame"!
298
00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:44,972
It's offensive!
299
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,774
Since when?
300
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:49,744
Since Trixie said it was,
"Politically incorrect."
301
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,180
I've decided
not to like her.
302
00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:55,950
I can't take it anymore.
303
00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:57,718
She's got me worried
about my future.
304
00:14:59,421 --> 00:15:02,123
She says gum's
bad for your teeth.
305
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:04,392
She told me my
songs were stupid!
306
00:15:07,829 --> 00:15:08,829
They are.
307
00:15:10,532 --> 00:15:12,333
Well, you don't
play so good.
308
00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:14,902
He don't play so well.
309
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:18,005
Oh, my God,
I'm like her.
310
00:15:19,308 --> 00:15:20,508
Go drop a dish.
311
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,510
She had just arrived,
312
00:15:23,578 --> 00:15:27,014
and already she turned,Shangri-la into "angry-la."
313
00:15:28,483 --> 00:15:29,550
Hey, fez-head.
314
00:15:29,617 --> 00:15:31,285
Are you thinking,
what I'm thinking?
315
00:15:32,354 --> 00:15:34,521
The interloper must die!
316
00:15:34,589 --> 00:15:36,190
Yeah, die! Die!
317
00:15:37,426 --> 00:15:39,627
ALL: (CHANTING) Die! Die!
318
00:15:41,129 --> 00:15:42,463
It was getting ugly.
319
00:15:42,531 --> 00:15:44,132
I had to do something quick
320
00:15:44,199 --> 00:15:47,067
before Rory's Shangri-lawas lost forever.
321
00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:50,238
But first, I had to bend downto pick up Feeny's hat.
322
00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:52,473
Did I say "Feeny"?I meant fez-head.
323
00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,576
Gotta think, gotta think.
324
00:15:55,644 --> 00:15:57,645
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
325
00:16:02,216 --> 00:16:03,584
Damn!
326
00:16:03,652 --> 00:16:05,152
I wish I knewhow to read.
327
00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:08,055
Oh, well.
328
00:16:10,992 --> 00:16:12,059
Hello?
329
00:16:12,828 --> 00:16:13,861
Vortex who?
330
00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:20,568
(LAUGHS)
331
00:16:20,636 --> 00:16:22,136
(VORTEX WHOOSHING)
(GRUNTING)
332
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:24,571
(GROANS)
333
00:16:25,907 --> 00:16:26,907
(CARTOONS PLAYING ON TV)
334
00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:32,579
See, Topanga? The coyote's
up and ready for more.
335
00:16:33,615 --> 00:16:35,016
The man's a genius.
336
00:16:37,819 --> 00:16:39,019
Aah!
Aah!
337
00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:40,488
Aah!
Aah!
338
00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:41,589
Aah!
339
00:16:41,656 --> 00:16:43,123
Rory?
340
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:46,126
(IMITATING) Reric?
How'd you get in here?
341
00:16:46,194 --> 00:16:47,594
Through the vortex.
342
00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:49,430
Why are you
dressed like that?
343
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:52,232
I could ask you
the same question.
344
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:53,901
What's that coyote
doing in that box?
345
00:16:56,004 --> 00:16:57,305
(BOTH LAUGH)
346
00:16:57,372 --> 00:17:00,474
Anyway, why am I here?
347
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:02,509
Usually it's 'cause
you're lost.
348
00:17:02,577 --> 00:17:03,644
Huh.
349
00:17:05,247 --> 00:17:06,480
Trixie.
350
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,015
Huh?
351
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,651
You know Trixie.
That must be why I'm here.
352
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:13,454
That's not Trixie.
That's my wife, Topanga.
353
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:15,188
You know, my wife?
354
00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,758
Your wife was transported
to an alternate universe.
355
00:17:17,826 --> 00:17:19,961
As far as I can tell,
your closet is a vortex
356
00:17:20,028 --> 00:17:22,329
that connects your
reality with ours.
357
00:17:22,397 --> 00:17:24,197
Topanga, come out of the
closet, Eric's drunk.
358
00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:26,967
Drunk with knowledge.
359
00:17:27,469 --> 00:17:28,635
Come with me.
360
00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:30,571
Fine, you want to put on
Topanga's shoes again,
361
00:17:30,639 --> 00:17:32,172
we'll put on Topanga's shoes.
362
00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:33,608
(VORTEX WHOOSHING)
363
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:37,545
(VORTEX WHOOSHING)
364
00:17:44,452 --> 00:17:45,920
Damn it to hell,
we're too late.
365
00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:57,398
Why would
somebody do this?
366
00:17:57,466 --> 00:17:58,965
She was gettin'
in the way.
367
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,567
In the way of what?
368
00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:01,935
Of our happiness.
369
00:18:07,709 --> 00:18:12,145
We was all relaxed and
happy, until she came along.
370
00:18:12,213 --> 00:18:14,348
You're a very good-looking
man, by the way.
371
00:18:14,416 --> 00:18:16,917
Topanga was
a very good person.
372
00:18:16,985 --> 00:18:19,086
Yeah, well, now she's
good and dead.
373
00:18:19,321 --> 00:18:20,688
(CHUCKLING)
374
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:23,958
She ain't gonna
bother us no more.
375
00:18:24,025 --> 00:18:26,260
She was a
stress case, man.
376
00:18:26,327 --> 00:18:28,228
So somebody killed her.
377
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,097
Now it's my job to
figure out who done it.
378
00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,566
(ALL WHISTLING)
379
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:34,067
Hey, hey, hey!
Nobody move!
380
00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:36,637
You're all suspects!
381
00:18:36,704 --> 00:18:38,305
Yeah, you know,
don't leave town!
382
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:40,508
Hold on!
383
00:18:42,176 --> 00:18:43,944
Okay.
384
00:18:44,012 --> 00:18:46,947
You know, maybe Topanga
was a little annoying.
385
00:18:47,015 --> 00:18:48,683
And maybe sometimes,
386
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,417
she made me
a little exasperated.
387
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,754
But I never once
thought of doing this!
388
00:18:55,657 --> 00:18:58,392
All right, maybe a little.
But I never did!
389
00:18:58,459 --> 00:19:00,260
Which is the difference
between me...
390
00:19:02,096 --> 00:19:03,063
And you.
391
00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:07,367
Now, tell me,
why did you do it?
392
00:19:07,435 --> 00:19:10,270
I did it because she was
ruining my good time.
393
00:19:10,338 --> 00:19:12,872
She was ruining
our entire way of life.
394
00:19:12,941 --> 00:19:14,274
COSTELLO: Yes, she was.
ELLA: Yeah, yeah.
395
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:15,909
Why is that?
396
00:19:15,977 --> 00:19:18,913
Because in your hearts
you knew she was right?
397
00:19:19,047 --> 00:19:21,916
Because you knew that even though she'd
change you, it would be for the better?
398
00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:26,019
That's why I need
her in my life.
399
00:19:28,957 --> 00:19:30,557
And you know why
she needs me?
400
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:34,228
Get up, Topanga.
401
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:36,963
I can't.
402
00:19:37,031 --> 00:19:38,031
I'm dead.
403
00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:41,001
No, you're not.
404
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:43,036
This isn't real.
405
00:19:44,839 --> 00:19:45,906
I knew that.
406
00:19:47,275 --> 00:19:48,608
This whole thing
is a cartoon.
407
00:19:49,877 --> 00:19:50,877
It's pretend.
408
00:19:52,447 --> 00:19:54,881
But, I think
it's what you needed.
409
00:19:55,983 --> 00:19:57,051
It was?
410
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:01,221
Yeah. It was.
411
00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:06,259
(SIGHS)
412
00:20:06,328 --> 00:20:09,463
All right, I think it's time
I actually did some studying.
413
00:20:09,531 --> 00:20:11,598
Mmm, why don't we
take a break first?
414
00:20:11,666 --> 00:20:13,367
Shouldn't we clean
up the popcorn?
415
00:20:13,435 --> 00:20:15,168
The popcorn can wait.
416
00:20:15,236 --> 00:20:16,437
You're kidding.
417
00:20:17,538 --> 00:20:18,538
Ah!
418
00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:19,640
(LAUGHS)
419
00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:21,075
Let's watch
some cartoons.
420
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:23,710
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
421
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:27,781
ERIC: Shangri-la,
heaven on earth.
422
00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:29,750
Utopia.
423
00:20:31,153 --> 00:20:34,488
Is it hidden
somewhere far away?
424
00:20:34,556 --> 00:20:36,723
Or just tucked behind
the shoe rack in your closet?
425
00:20:41,329 --> 00:20:42,530
The choice is yours.
426
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,668
(VORTEX WHOOSHING)
427
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,270
(LAUGHS) Isn't this great?
428
00:20:50,338 --> 00:20:51,738
Yeah, ain't it?
429
00:20:53,407 --> 00:20:54,774
You said, "ain't."
430
00:20:54,843 --> 00:20:55,775
I know.
431
00:20:55,825 --> 00:21:00,375
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