Original subtitles

OK, guys, yearbook time.

As you look back on your first year at John Adams,

what would you consider your greatest accomplishment and why?

Let's see... I mean, there's so many.

It's hard to pick just one.

- There's the time we... - No. No, that wasn't us.

- What about the time we...? - Also not us.

You guys are the two most pathetic students in this school.

That's an accomplishment.

She's right, Shawn. I mean, the year's almost over

and I haven't made a name for myself.

- And you know whose fault it is? - Your own?

No, why should I take the fall?

I blame...

...the jocks!

Why?

Because they wear those stupid jackets and therefore get all the girls.

What chance do I have?

Whoa. Major growth spurt.

Too heavy.

Please don't. Please don't. I had a fat, heavy breakfast.

We've got an opening of the 108-pound

super-confetti-weight division on the wrestling team. Savage?

Perfect.

Congratulations, kid. You're on the wrestling team.

Yeah! Like there's a chance in the universe

I'd ever want to be on your stupid wrestling team.

- Here's your jacket. - Ooh.

- Look, Shawn, my jacket. - Here's your uniform.

My uniform. This is like Christmas here.

- Here's your candy. - Candy?

Hi, I'm Candy.

Sweet.

(grunting)

Eric, put Cory down.

I can't. I can't breathe. He's got my windpipe in a death grip.

Cory, let your brother breathe.

(exhales)

Remember, pal, I know where you sleep.

Amy, when the exterminators were here spraying,

did we leave the window open in Cory's room?

Eric, why is Cory so wound up?

I don't know! I'm upstairs brushing my teeth

and the little squirt bull-rushes me from behind.

It's all here in this permission slip. Sign it, please.

Permission slip.

Amy! Our little Cory made the wrestling team!

All right! Get your old man a pen!

Now, Alan, we should discuss this. Wrestling is dangerous.

Oh, come on. If he were signing up for ballet, that might be dangerous. Here.

Now wait a second, Dad. Look, I know these wrestlers.

They're like psychotic, caged animals, waiting to take all their aggressions out

on little runts like Cory. Use my pen.

A toast to Cory Matthews!

The newest member of the John Adams High wrestling team.

(all) Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

What? Am I dribbling?

No, Matthews. What are you gonna do with the can?

- Recycle. Of course. - No! Crush it.

Like this.

(moans)

It's all bone up here. You can't damage anything.

(grunts, yells)

Oh! Excuse me.

I'm just gonna go visit the white lights.

Hey, you OK?

Yes, Pat. But I'd like to solve the puzzle.

- Cory. - What?

Why are you doing this to yourself?

So I'll finally have cool stuff to put in the yearbook.

And this jacket is a babe magnet.

Matthews, look. Two cans. Aaah!

Let's get out of here before she reloads.

So it was Nixon who became the first American president to travel to China.

Thereby...

Excuse me, what's going on here?

Well, Mr. Feeny, you were on me about cutting class

and so this is the only time the masseuse can do me.

So... Nixon, China, I'm all ears.

Anna, really bad knot. Knead it right here.

All right, that does it.

Out!

- You gonna crack my back? - Don't tempt me.

I am sick and tired of your antics.

This school was meant for education, not for your own personal pleasures.

I couldn't agree with you more.

We are back from the airport, Grif. We got your lobsters.

- Lobsters? - Flown in fresh from Maine.

- I could eat mine right now. - They're still alive, Frankie.

I said what I said.

Mr. Feeny, care to join us for a late lunch?

There's a four-pounder with your name on it.

Young man, I want you to go to my office and wait for me.

- Just Mr. Hawkins. - Where Grif goes, we go.

Gentlemen, don't you have lives of your own?

No, sir.

And what happens when Mr. Hawkins is not around to tell you what to do,

if say, he's expelled?

Like that could ever happen.

- It could happen. - What?

Then I'd have to get my own life.

- I'd consider it. - But all the good lives are taken.

I'll see you after class.

We're all alone, Frankie. What should we do?

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna get some butter.

Cory. You were supposed to meet me in the caf

so we could finish these yearbook write-ups.

Topanga, relax. Here, here's everything you need to know

about Cory... "the Cory" Matthews.

I know, the nickname needs a little work.

"Greatest accomplishment: Making the wrestling team.

"Fondest memory: Meeting Candy.

Favorite quote: 'Ruh'"?

Rrrrh!

Good boy!

Goodbye.

Hey, Topanga, you want to ask me some more questions

- for the yearbook? - Uh, yeah.

Where do you think Cory's gonna end up in 10 years?

- You mean me, don't you? - That's what I said.

- No, you said, "Cory." - I did not.

- You like him. - I do not.

You say that again, I will kill you!

You like him a lot.

(wrestlers yelling)

Break it up! Let 'em go!

All right, Matthews, which one of these goons threw the first punch?

This goon.

- No, seriously. - I did.

I'm on the wrestling team and we were just horsing around.

It's what jocks do, and I am a jock.

Oh, man. I hope you're not a rare blood type.

Mr. Turner, sidebar.

I'm the only one in my weight class.

I never have to fight. What can go wrong?

Matthews, you got a fight.

AB-negative.

Universal recipient. That should come in handy.

You gotta earn this jacket, buddy.

Somebody else just signed up in your weight class.

What exactly is the range in my weight class?

No, Matthews, not Frankie.

Someone who's looking to make a name for himself.

Be his own person, carve his own niche.

Yeah, Matthews. I'm gonna carve me a niche right in your stinking head.

Nice jacket. Ha-ha-ha.

Rrrrh!

Oh, that's pretty amazing.

I tried lifting weights, but man, are they heavy.

You sure you know what you're doing, taking Joey on?

Absolutely. 'Cause he's not taking me seriously.

You know, I bet he's not even training.

Hey, Matthews! Come to watch the enemy train?

Why am I always wrong about everything?

We don't want you here in our camp. Maybe this is a closed-door session.

Maybe I'll just whip your sorry elfin duck-face now.

Joey, Joey.

Your opponent is playing mind games with you.

Ignore, and focus on the task at hand...

...our training.

Lesson one: Balance.

Now, this is a wrestling technique I picked up

while I was touring Japan last summer.

It's called "Push the wrestler out of the ring."

Shawn, there's a little voice inside my head saying, "Do not fear Joey."

A little voice saying, "I can beat Joey."

And another voice saying, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

(blender whirring)

Whoa, it's my son, Cory "the Cory"!

Hey, ready for your big wrestling match?

Alan, are you really gonna let him go through with this?

Mom, I'm not a little boy any more.

Oh, you're right, you're grown up now.

If you want to walk out that door and wrestle,

I am OK with it.

I'll just be upstairs looking at your baby book... crying.

(both) Chicks.

Listen, I made you a very special protein drink.

- Oh, cool. - Yeah, it's got 12 eggs in it,

wheatgrass, soy, goat's milk and just a little touch of Tabasco.

I used to drink this when I boxed in the Navy.

- Gotta go! No time for breakfast. - Hey, have something.

Ah! Oh!

Make way!

(Feeny) Not on my azaleas, man!

OK, look, Joey trained with Frankie, the immovable object.

My advice to you... move.

To the winner goes the jacket and the spot on the team.

Now, let's go! Shake hands.

(whistle)

Aw, he moved, Frankie. Is that in the rules?

What the heck are you doin'?

Ha-ha-ha! Oh, yeah!

I won! I won!

- Lost to Matthews? I don't think so. - I got the jacket, though, right?

He beat you by the rules, fair and square.

OK, then I challenge Matthews to another fight.

Unfair and unsquare, after hours. Mano a rat-o.

I don't need to fight you, Joey. I already proved myself.

Now I think you're proving yourself to be yellow.

I'll bet you bleed lemonade.

Oh, you can run, but you can't hide, Matthews.

You remember this face, 'cause it's gonna haunt ya.

Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!

Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!

(ringing)

Collect call for Cory Matthews.

Uh, I accept.

Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!

Yellow! Yellow!

Yellow!

Enough already, Joey. Just leave me alone.

Matthews, you wanna get rid of him? Just pound the creep.

- Are you a jock, or aren't you? - (all) Yeah!

All right, Joey. You want me, you got me.

Good! Tonight, midnight. The abandoned warehouse on Seventh.

No, 4:00, Feeny's backyard.

No, 8:00, the abandoned shipyard by the pier.

- No, dinnertime, my kitchen. - Is it abandoned?

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

You have a score to settle, now I respect that.

But settle it on neutral territory.

Like the gym, tomorrow night.

Grif, I don't exactly have a set of keys to get in.

Oh. Neither does Janitor Bud.

Shawn, why did I agree to fight Joey?

I mean, who am I kidding? I'm not a jock.

If Joey wants this stupid jacket so much, he can have it.

Backing down from a fight, now that takes guts.

It's just Grif and a couple of thugs. Who cares what they think?

I mean, it's not like it's in front of the entire school.

You see? Wrong about everything.

Come on, Cory, let's bail.

Matthews, where do you think you're going?

(laughs) He thinks I'm this Cory Matthews guy, too.

I don't get it. That's, like, the eighth person today who's said that.

- Wow! I'll see you later, OK? - No, I don't think so.

I put a lot of work into this. Phone calls were made,

favors were called in.

(man over PA) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Goulet.

Thank you.

Oh, say can you see?

By the dawn's early light...

...and the home

Of the brave

Thank you. OK, are you ready to rumble?

Tonight's main event: Joey "the Rat" Epstein

verses Cory "the Cory" Matthews.

And before we get started, I'd like to introduce some of the VIPs

with us tonight. From TV's Baywatch, Yasmine Bleeth.

(applause)

Grif, how did you ever get me to do this?

Oh, yeah.

Help, I'm drowning!

- What? - It was worth a shot.

And now one of John Adams' all-time, legendary thugs.

You know him as Frankie Stecchino's father,

the rest of the word knows him as the 11 times heavy-weight

wrestling champion of the world, Vader.

Thank you, Bob. Thank you, very much.

(growls)

Matthews...

let me tell you something.

If Joey won't get the job done, Vader will.

Because I am fear. Stick around,

and find out who the real man is.

I'm sorry, sir. I didn't get your name.

(barking)

Oh, my God!

All right! Get to your corners...

...and come out fighting when you hear the sound of the ding-dong.

Give my best to Vera, huh?

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Goulet.

- Cory, I didn't know you were fighting. - What are you doing here?

The guy in the parking lot sold me a ticket.

He said, "Go see an idiot get pounded."

"See an idiot get pounded."

Cost me 50 bucks, but it was worth it. Sitting next to the girl from Baywatch.

Oh, man. I gotta get out of here before this thing starts.

Cory, what's this thing for?

(bell rings)

Oops!

Frankie, tag me. Tag me!

(crowd boos)

Ha-ha! Yeah!

- Hey, this really isn't fair. - Good.

Cory! Cory! Come on, get out.

- Get out, come on. - OK, but you're in.

What? Aah!

Son! You're taking too long. Give Daddy a tag.

Hah!

(crowd boos)

This chump's mine!

(crying)

(grunting)

Hey, pal! You can't do that to my brother!

Make me, you little rug rat!

Put the Matthews boy down!

Come over here and say that.

Yo, Matthews. Sidebar.

Are you kidding me?

I thought you said you'd never have to fight.

Mr. Turner, you should know by now, I'm wrong about absolutely everything.

Sit him down, now.

Feeny, you can't tell me what to do anymore.

I'm not one of your punk students. I'm the face of death!

It was scarier when you had acne.

Your little bully tactics didn't work back then,

and they're not gonna work now. Now, put him down.

- Make me! - I'd be glad to...

- ...Leslie. - You wouldn't.

I would.

All right, all right. You won this round.

But next time, and there will be a next time,

Texas death match. Loser leaves town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is why I avoid reunions.

Shawn, you think if I stayed in the ring I would've had a shot?

Yeah, and you also had a shot at dating Yasmine Bleeth.

Really?

Did she say something?

You break my heart sometimes, Cory.

Heard you wanted to see me, Matthews.

Yeah, I don't really need this anymore. Thanks for the shot.

You're OK, Matthews.

He always was.

Candy, where you going?

I go with the jacket. Didn't you know that?

I probably should have.

Hey, guys. I gotta hand in yearbook write-ups tomorrow,

and I still have a couple more questions for Cory.

(coughs) You like him.

Shut up.

I need a quote to go with your picture, unless you still wanna go with "Rrrrh."

Well, what'd you put for you?

"I do my thing and you do your thing.

"You are you and I am I.

"And if in the end we end up together...

...it's beautiful."

Put the same for me.

Well, that was quite a stunt you pulled, Mr. Hawkins.

But am I mad? No.

Actually, I'm downright giddy.

(both laugh)

Because when the bell rings at the end of the day,

I know that you'll be on your merry way to my classroom

for detention. Every day,

for the next four years.

Mr. Feeny, you can't leave me alone with these guys.

I'm not one of them. The walls, they're closing in.

Pity.

Matthews, relax. It's gonna be OK.

Obviously you've never done detention with Grif.

(man over PA) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Goulet.

I want to see some smiling faces

I can spot some laughter through those tears

Thank you!

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