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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,470
"And it was always said
of Scrooge...
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,474
"that he knew how
to keep Christmas well...
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,976
"if any man alive
possessed the knowledge.
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:14,674
"May that be truly said of us,
and all of us.
5
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,478
"And so as Tiny Tim observed...
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,975
"God bLess us. every one. "
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,854
And so ends Dickens' masterpiece
"A Christmas Carol."
8
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,223
Wait a minute.
Where's the Grinch?
9
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,820
Yeah. Isn't the Grinch
supposed to show up now...
10
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,831
and, like, take everything?
11
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,130
How come it's called
"A Christmas Carol" anyway?
12
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,534
Yeah. There was nobody
in this story named Carol.
13
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:42,267
Miss Lawrence, would you please
trade places with Mr. Matthews?
14
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,571
All right.
15
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:49,042
I am a hyperactive,
underachieving, 11-year-old boy.
16
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,808
I meant physically.
17
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:56,084
Oh, well, that takes
less of a psychic toll.
18
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,522
Why do I have to move?
19
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,617
We were just giving
our view of the book.
20
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,685
Yeah. I mean,
you say literary masterpiece...
21
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,889
- we say... Anh!
- Anh!
22
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:07,423
Mr. Matthews, I'm less
interested in your review...
23
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,401
than I am that
you understand the material.
24
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,904
What, in your opinion,
was Mr. Dickens...
25
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,567
trying to express
in his Christmas story?
26
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,075
That if
you're a real butthead...
27
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:19,306
then neat ghosts
will take you to cool places.
28
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,578
Anh!
29
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,912
Fish and sticks.
30
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,415
Two things nature
never would've put together.
31
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,076
What'd you get?
32
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,585
Peanut butter and jelly.
33
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,110
Two things
nature couldn't keep apart.
34
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,715
Since when did
your mom pack you lunch?
35
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,191
I thought you liked fish sticks.
36
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:41,694
I do, but I think it's cruel...
37
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:46,722
how the little fish scream
when they rip their sticks off.
38
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,234
May I sit down?
39
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,667
BOTH: No.
40
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,604
Well, since you're ambivalent.
41
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,106
Ah, Christmas.
42
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,735
Season of togetherness.
Season of brotherhood.
43
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,176
Season of wool.
44
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,679
Nine out of ten
Christmas gifts... wool.
45
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:03,182
It doesn't matter if it's shaped
like socks or a sweater...
46
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,343
it's wool and it's itchy.
47
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,183
The gift isn't as important
as the thought behind it.
48
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,848
What's the thought behind wool?
49
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,824
This kid doesn't scratch enough?
50
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,527
I agree with Stuart.
51
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,529
Oh, no. It's a nerd swarm.
52
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,361
Minkus,
shut off your geek magnet.
53
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,026
I just think
we often lose sight...
54
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,731
of the true meaning of Christmas
in the frenzy of commercialism.
55
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,204
What are you talking about?
56
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,504
How do We knowWhat to ask for
if We don't have commercials?
57
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,808
Christmas is the celebration
of the winter solstice...
58
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:36,805
an ancient tribal ritual
whose origins are lost in time.
59
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:40,718
Yeah, we were just talking
about that in the bathroom.
60
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,314
Listen, Topanga,
I think I can hear them...
61
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:45,722
calling you back
into your own dimension.
62
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,953
Oh, yeah. They're saying...
63
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:49,655
"Topanga,
get your aura back here."
64
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,324
"And bring Minkus."
65
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,296
BOTH: Ha!
66
00:03:57,337 --> 00:04:00,204
OK. Christmas tree update.
67
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,437
I think I got my real leather
NBA regulation basketball.
68
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,206
Cool. Major gift.
69
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,405
So major a gift...
70
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:09,006
I've been saving up
to buy my gift a gift.
71
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:12,041
What do you get the basketball
who has everything?
72
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:17,216
A $5.00 top of the line
imitation nylon net.
73
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,588
You have five bucks?
74
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,116
I've been saving up for a month.
75
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,186
Let's go buy it after school.
76
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:26,131
No. Then I tip off my parents
that I know what I'm getting.
77
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,498
You are a yuletide master.
78
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,560
Christmas is very delicate.
79
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,265
You screw up... wool.
80
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,434
So, what's the update
at your house?
81
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:39,138
Me? Hey, Bob Stubcheck's
Sports World...
82
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,943
has to send over a truck with
all the stuff my dad got me.
83
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,950
He got me, like, everything.
84
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,212
That's great.
85
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,720
Yeah. My dad totally
came through this year.
86
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:51,155
Speaking of gifts, you haven't
yet chipped in your $5.00...
87
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,125
for the class present
to Mr. Feeny.
88
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,128
- Tomorrow.
- You said that yesterday.
89
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,493
Come on, Shawn...
90
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,090
don't think of it
as $5.00 for Feeny's present.
91
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,124
Think of it as five bucks
to make Minkus go away.
92
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,138
Look, Minkus, I just spent
my last money on lunch, oK?
93
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,764
I'll give it to you tomorrow.
94
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,736
What? His mother
charged him a packing fee?
95
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,020
[SIGHS]
96
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,191
Hi.
97
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,359
Hey! Did you have fun
at the mall?
98
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,631
I don't think I'd call it fun.
99
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,436
Well, hi, pumpkin.
I bet you had fun.
100
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,601
Did you get your picture
taken with Santa Claus?
101
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:48,637
Aaah!
102
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,650
I tried to tell you.
103
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,652
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that...
104
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,746
meant "Don't mention Santa."
What happened?
105
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,758
Well, Morgan was waiting
in line to sit on Santa's lap...
106
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,761
and she was kind of nervous,
and there was this elf...
107
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,423
who looked like a hitman,
only meaner.
108
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:05,931
What? Did Santa scare her?
109
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,332
No, no. He was
just this nice old man...
110
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,630
with a jolly red face.
111
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,604
You know, looking back,
his face really was too red.
112
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,664
I mean I just thought
he was overheated.
113
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,733
Velvet is a fabric
that doesn't breathe.
114
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,141
Amy, what happened?
115
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:21,341
Well, oK, so Morgan climbs up
on Santa's lap...
116
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,643
and he asks her
what she wants...
117
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,115
and she says
a Suzie Homemaker oven...
118
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:29,782
and then he grabbed his chest,
yelled "Rudolph," and fell over.
119
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:38,061
Are we talking eight reindeer
pulling a pine box?
120
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,066
No, no.
I think he's all right.
121
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,568
I mean, the hitman elf
gave him CPR...
122
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,070
while Mrs. Claus called
the paramedics.
123
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,699
Alan, it isn't funny!
124
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,403
Morgan thinks
she killed Santa Claus.
125
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,578
Well, did you tell her
that he's oK?
126
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,980
Of course I did.
I said he was just resting...
127
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,348
and he'd be fine.
128
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,785
Maybe you can take her
to visit him in the hospital.
129
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,447
I really don't think
it'll help her to see...
130
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,686
Santa Claus with
a tube stuck up his nose.
131
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,090
Hey. What's with the weasel?
132
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,321
She locked herself
in the bathroom...
133
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,726
and she's singing...
134
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,822
On the first day
of Christmas
135
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,355
I murdered Santa CLaus
136
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,530
I'll go check on her. ohh!
137
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,003
Hi, Cory.
138
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,976
Hello, son, apple of my eye.
139
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,504
Dad, there's no reaching him
when he's taking inventory.
140
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,680
Yes! A new arrival!
141
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,584
It's Wool.
142
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,920
You know, Cor,
when I was a kid...
143
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,051
Christmas was about
appreciating your gifts...
144
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,924
because they were given
with love.
145
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,193
Love, right. Glad that's over.
146
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:48,723
OK. Three new boxes
and only one sounds itchy.
147
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,167
I'm going to go tell Shawn.
148
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,670
Whoa. Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
149
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,172
To call Shawn.
150
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,106
I don't think it'd be
such a good idea...
151
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,870
to exaggerate about the gifts
you're getting.
152
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,208
- I have to just to keep up.
- What do you mean?
153
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:02,146
I mean, Bob Stubcheck's
Sports World has been moved.
154
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,412
It's new location?
Under Shawn's tree.
155
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:08,046
I think Shawn may have been
exaggerating a little bit.
156
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,555
Dad, it's Christmas.
157
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,056
You're supposed to exaggerate.
158
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:14,117
I'm gonna tell him I got five
new presents under the tree.
159
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,889
You know, I don't think...
160
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,658
Shawn's gonna be having much of
a Christmas this year.
161
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,187
Why not?
162
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:23,828
[SIGHS]
Shawn's dad got laid off.
163
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,361
Shawn's dad lost his job?
164
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,341
Yeah. I guess he was just
too embarrassed to tell you.
165
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,607
But I'm his best friend.
166
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,944
So that's why
his mom's packing his lunch.
167
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,450
Shawn's not getting anything
for Christmas...
168
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,943
just like Tiny Tim
in that story about Carol.
169
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,616
I don't think
it's quite that bad.
170
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:47,091
Dad, can I give him
one of the presents...
171
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,822
under the tree
so at least he has something?
172
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,727
That'd be really nice, Cor.
173
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:54,165
OK. How about one of Eric's?
174
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,633
MORGAN: We wish you
a merry Christmas
175
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,869
We wish you
a merry Christmas
176
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,639
We wish you
a merry Christmas
177
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,145
Morgan, if you come out...
178
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,648
I'll let you
play with my makeup.
179
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,776
And a happy new year
180
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,913
Morgan, come out.
Santa's fine.
181
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,650
MORGAN: No. he's not.
182
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,352
Well, then how come
he just called me on the phone?
183
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,951
MORGAN: He did?
184
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,155
Yep.
185
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,686
MORGAN: What did he say?
186
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,825
He said,
"Ho ho h... ohh! ohh!"
187
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,357
Stop it.
188
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,866
What?
189
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,178
He said you've been
a very, very good girl...
190
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,680
and I should give you something
really special.
191
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,147
MORGAN: Like what?
192
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,650
Whatever you tell her,
she's gonna want it...
193
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,845
the second you open that door.
194
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,952
How about my new flannel shirt
that you like so much?
195
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,727
OK.
196
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,099
Ta-da!
197
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,469
What?
198
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,973
For you.
199
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,201
What is it?
200
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,210
Open it. For you from me.
201
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,109
It's not going to blow up,
is it?
202
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,273
Open it! open it!
203
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,306
Here. Let me open it.
204
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,216
A real leather NBA certified...
205
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,591
dribbles like a dream
basketball!
206
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,120
I'm giving it to you.
Don't you love me?
207
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,793
Why'd you give this to me?
208
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:38,269
Because it's Christmas.
209
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,864
So? We never give each other
stuff for Christmas.
210
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,967
Yeah, but this year's
kind of different.
211
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,272
Why?
212
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,041
Well... because.
213
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,311
Because why?
214
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,875
Because you're my best friend.
215
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,410
But I wasn't last year.
216
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,356
No, you were, it's just...
217
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,318
Cory, best friends
don't lie to each other.
218
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:08,926
OK. Look, Shawn, I gave you this
because I didn't think...
219
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,663
you'd be getting
that many gifts this year.
220
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:14,662
Hey, I told you.
I'm getting a ton of stuff.
221
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:18,609
I don't need a basketball.
My dad already got me two.
222
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:22,342
Look, Shawn, best friends
don't lie to each other.
223
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,612
What are you talking about?
224
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,950
I know about
your dad getting laid off.
225
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,852
- Says who?
- Says my dad.
226
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,381
Oh, so what'd you do,
go tell everyone?
227
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,394
No. I didn't tell anyone.
228
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,726
Look, Shawn, I'm trying
to give you a nice gift...
229
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,823
so you don't have
a Tiny Tim Christmas...
230
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,527
and you're acting like
you're mad at me.
231
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,058
Oh, so I'm supposed
to be all happy...
232
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:45,434
that you gave me
some bogus gift?
233
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:49,100
That's not a bogus gift.
That's a totally major gift.
234
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,336
It was my best gift...
235
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,037
and I was nice enough
to give it to you.
236
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,978
Yeah. Well, keep it.
237
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,674
I don't want your basketball.
238
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,615
Wouldn't you rather have
something for Christmas...
239
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,117
than nothing at all?
240
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,312
I'd rather have nothing
for Christmas...
241
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,446
than your lousy charity.
242
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,184
Hey, Shawn,
Christmas is about charity.
243
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,216
You should be thanking me!
244
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,197
Boy, where's
his Christmas spirit?
245
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,859
Where's his gratitude?
246
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,868
I can name one sixth grader...
247
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,200
who wasn't paying attention
to "A Christmas Carol."
248
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,865
I can name one, too,
Mr. Matthews.
249
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,238
- Yeah, Shawn.
- Cory.
250
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,209
Ha ha! No, I'm Cory.
251
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,712
You've been calling me
Mr. Matthews for so long...
252
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,044
you must've forgot.
253
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,051
Believe me,
I know who you are.
254
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:36,681
I also know that a true gift
is given with no expectation.
255
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,384
What's that mean?
256
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:42,588
It means you gave the gift
to get the thanks.
257
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:47,191
I gave the guy my official NBA
genuine leather basketball...
258
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,224
and he threw it back in my face.
259
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,669
What kind of friend is that?
260
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,229
You know what
I like most about Christmas?
261
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,640
I go away for a week?
262
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,668
Yeah, that's pretty special.
263
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:03,671
But it's the time of year
that you can think back...
264
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:07,914
and appreciate
the real gifts you received.
265
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,888
I don't get it.
266
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:13,187
Friendship, for example,
is a real gift.
267
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,195
And it's given
with no expectation...
268
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,697
and no gratitude is necessary.
269
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,292
Not between real friends.
270
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,734
You think about that.
271
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:34,709
[SIGHS] We finally got Morgan
out of the bathroom.
272
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,113
- Great. How'd you do it?
- Psychology.
273
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,948
And bribery.
274
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,080
What happened to that mean elf?
275
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:46,353
Oh, he went back
to the North Pole with Santa.
276
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,383
I think he Was mad at me.
277
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,487
No. He wasn't mad at you.
278
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,988
Then how come
he called me a demon child?
279
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:57,400
Well, he's gone now
and you don't ever...
280
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,699
have to worry about him
ever, ever again.
281
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,205
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
282
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:01,604
- I'll get it.
- Thank you.
283
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:11,474
Aaah!
284
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,712
- Mr. Matthews?
- Yeah?
285
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,981
I'm the elf.
286
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,648
No kidding.
287
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,520
I came to return
your wife's money.
288
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,219
She paid for a picture
with Santa.
289
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:21,419
She never got it.
290
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,928
Uh, excuse me.
291
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:26,022
You called my little girl
a demon child?
292
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,329
Hey, all I know
is one minute...
293
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,700
Santa's all jolly,
jingling his bells...
294
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,534
the next minute,
your kid sits on his lap...
295
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,735
ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom!
Heart attack.
296
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,211
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
297
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:44,613
ELF: Yeah? Merry stinking
Christmas to you. too. paL!
298
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,253
Shawn, it's tomorrow.
299
00:14:58,297 --> 00:14:59,457
What are you talking about?
300
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,262
I'm talking
about the class present.
301
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,995
You still haven't paid
your $5.00.
302
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,595
Fine, I'll give it to you.
I just don't have it on me.
303
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,731
I'm going to buy
the present tonight...
304
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,334
so today is the last day
to give me the money.
305
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,606
I said I'll give it to you.
306
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,307
If you don't give me
$5.00 right now...
307
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,077
I'm not going to put your name
on the card...
308
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,710
and the entire sixth grade
of Jefferson Elementary...
309
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,220
is going to know
you're a deadbeat.
310
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:27,048
Fine, then I am. oK?
311
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,623
Minkus, leave him alone.
312
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,132
He doesn't have the money.
313
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,135
- He doesn't?
- No.
314
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:39,696
Oh. That puts me in
an awkward position.
315
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,172
I can't put his name
on the card...
316
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,175
if he doesn't give me
the money.
317
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:44,676
Rules are rules.
318
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,178
I'm the class treasurer,
an elected official.
319
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,909
They could subpoena my diaries.
320
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,747
Um, look...
321
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,845
a couple weeks ago,
Shawn lent me five bucks...
322
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,379
and I never paid him back.
323
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,686
That's why
he doesn't have the money.
324
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:02,159
Oh, so you're the deadbeat.
325
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:07,724
Yeah. But I've got it now,
so here it is.
326
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,727
Just make sure you put
Shawn's name on the card, oK?
327
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,740
Don't worry.
His name, however...
328
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,641
will have to be last since
he was the last one to pay.
329
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,204
Gee, Minkus, I wonder
whose name is first on the list?
330
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,579
Does it rhyme with stinkus?
331
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:30,221
I hope our reading
"A Christmas Carol"...
332
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,848
has interested all of you...
333
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,916
in reading other works
by Charles Dickens.
334
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,986
No, but I will watch
the David Copperfield special.
335
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,657
Mr. Minkus.
336
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,463
In my capacity
as class treasurer...
337
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,470
I Would like to present you...
338
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,472
with the sixth grade's
Christmas gift.
339
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,441
Oh, my. Well...
340
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,467
ooh, it has the lovely heft
of a thick book.
341
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,878
You cunning bibliophile, you.
342
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,440
Oh, my!
343
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:01,976
A dictionary.
How wonderful.
344
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:06,219
"To our admired
and respected teacher...
345
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,160
"from his dutiful
and attentive class."
346
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,662
I Wrote that.
347
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,163
I never would've guessed.
348
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,826
And all our names
are written below.
349
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:19,497
Yes. Minkus all the way
down to Hunter.
350
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:24,306
You all seem to be there.
Well, I am very touched.
351
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:27,210
This means a great deal to me.
352
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,941
So thank you very much.
353
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,710
[BELL RINGS]
354
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,719
Merry Christmas!
Have a wonderful vacation.
355
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,584
CoRY: Hurry!
Get out while you can! Hurry!
356
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:38,920
Don't forget to read
two books from the reading list.
357
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,687
Nobody heard that.
358
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,892
Hey, Minkus.
359
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,728
Thanks for putting my name
on the card.
360
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,132
Don't thank me.
Your deadbeat friend...
361
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,432
finally paid back
the money he owed you.
362
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,664
What?
363
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,071
It's oK. You don't have
to cover for him anymore.
364
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,075
He told me
how you lent him $5.00...
365
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:58,474
and he didn't give it back.
366
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,672
Cory told you that?
367
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,704
Yep, and he handed me
five bucks.
368
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,012
He gave you his $5.00?
369
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,679
I guess his conscience
finally got the better of him.
370
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,848
Hey, Minkus.
371
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:14,189
Merry Christmas.
372
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,716
Really?
373
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,228
Merry Christmas to you, too.
374
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,451
- Hey.
- Hey.
375
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:47,147
You know,
I was cleaning up my garage...
376
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,718
and I found something
you might like.
377
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,196
A net!
378
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,597
It belonged to my dad.
It's real old...
379
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,831
so it might not be
genuine imitation nylon.
380
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:02,864
Whoa, if it's that old,
it could be actual nylon!
381
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,466
It's yours.
382
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:07,104
Cool. Thanks.
383
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,673
Figure this way, you got the net
and I got the ball.
384
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,274
What ball?
385
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,309
You gave that to me.
386
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,322
I think I remember you throwing
this back in my face.
387
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:20,757
So every time you miss a pass,
we're not gonna be friends?
388
00:19:22,228 --> 00:19:24,355
You want this ball...
389
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,457
you're gonna have to take it
from me, aren't you?
390
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:32,931
Nice try.
391
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,735
Think you can steal it from me?
392
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,799
Yeah.
393
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,309
Hey, I did it.
394
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,508
Nah. I let you have it.
It was charity.
395
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,914
It's Christmas.
396
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,615
[PLAYING "HARK!
THE HERALD ANGELS SING"]
397
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,168
Not in the house.
398
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,601
You guys are playing
with that so much...
399
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,002
I'm afraid you're going
to wear a hole in it.
400
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,006
Who cares? It's his ball.
401
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,940
Close the door, please.
402
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:12,443
You guys ready for supper?
Shawn, I've got plenty.
403
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,877
If you want to stay,
I could call your mom.
404
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,847
Thanks, Mrs. Matthews,
but we're stringing up...
405
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,042
the lights tonight
and I want to be with my dad.
406
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:22,487
OK. Well, before you go,
I want you to take...
407
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,113
these Christmas cookies
to your mom.
408
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,589
I helped make them.
409
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:26,784
Yeah. Careful
when you bite into them.
410
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,522
One of Barbie's
little plastic shoes is missing.
411
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,255
Merry Christmas, you guys.
412
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:34,266
DAD: Merry Christmas. Shawn.
413
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,268
- Hoops here tomorrow?
- Do I have a choice?
414
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,896
You're the only guy
on the block with a net.
415
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,997
Shawn, you going to be oK?
416
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,531
Hey, when I got friends,
I can get through anything.
417
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:48,846
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
418
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,850
Oh, wow,
somebody's at the back door.
419
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:55,217
Wow, I wonder who that could be
at the back door.
420
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,983
I have no clue.
421
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,415
- I forgot my line.
- Maybe Morgan...
422
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:05,396
oh, yeah! Maybe Morgan
should go get the back door.
423
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,264
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
424
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:12,532
I'm not answering
any more doors.
425
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:17,065
Well, I think you're going
to want to answer this one.
426
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,838
It's Santa!
427
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:28,544
Look, everybody, he's alive!
428
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:30,919
MoM: Well, aren't you
going to let him in?
429
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,058
Hello, Morgan.
430
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,122
I am Santa.
431
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,692
And I've just returned
from the North Pole...
432
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:50,175
where I was just resting.
433
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,837
Santa, are you feeling better?
434
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:56,211
Oh, yes, my dear.
As it turns out...
435
00:21:56,248 --> 00:22:01,345
Mrs. Claus merely undercooked
my figgy pudding.
436
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:08,522
I'm going to get the camera.
437
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,721
Well, now, little Morgan...
438
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:12,663
tell Santa what you want
for Christmas.
439
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:15,360
Good grades
for your big brother.
440
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:17,130
Ho ho ho.
441
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:23,736
OK, everybody,
gather round for a picture.
442
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,472
Santa in the middle.
443
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,772
Mommy, why does
Santa look like Mr. Feeny?
444
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,517
jingle beLLs. Batman smells
445
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,654
Robin Laid an egg
446
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,631
BatmobiLe Lost its wheeL
447
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,759
Commissioner
broke his Leg. oh
448
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,269
Who taught you that?
449
00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:53,464
- Cory.
- Well, he taught you wrong.
450
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:54,802
It goes like this.
451
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,070
jingle beLLs. jingle beLLs
452
00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,043
jingle aLL the way
453
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,012
Oh. what fun it is to ride
454
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,708
In a one horse
open sleigh. hey
455
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,808
Boring????????????????????????????????????????????????
456
00:23:05,858 --> 00:23:10,408
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