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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:05,226
In conclusion, some products
we use every day...
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,240
cause algae to grow in lakes...
3
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:10,766
cutting off oxygen
and disrupting the ecosystem.
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,904
So, what we've learned...
5
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,506
is that we must choose
biodegradable products...
6
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,244
to help protect our environment.
7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,952
Excellent report.
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:27,154
Inspired visuals. Next team.
9
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,058
[CLEARS THROAT]
10
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,033
How air pollution
affects our everyday life.
11
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,265
Excellent topic.
12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,500
Denver... high atop
the majestic Rocky Mountains...
13
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,014
elevation... 5,000 feet.
14
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,812
Philadelphia...
15
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,614
lying low
in the Delaware basin...
16
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,712
250 feet above sea level.
17
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,915
Well researched.
18
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:58,948
Denver...
clean crisp mountain air.
19
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:03,759
Philadelphia...
polluted industrial smog.
20
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,358
Mile High Stadium...
home of the Colorado Rockies.
21
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,337
Veterans Stadium... home of
the Philadelphia Phillies.
22
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,566
Oh, here we go.
23
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,838
The Rockies, a bogus
expansion team mind you...
24
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,572
are averaging
four more runs per game...
25
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,079
than anyone in the league...
26
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,172
because of their clean air.
27
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,206
Our theory
is if Philadelphia...
28
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,048
would clean up its smoggy air...
29
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,815
the ball would slice through
the atmosphere...
30
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,321
with a greater velocity.
31
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,517
Therefore the Phillies
would score more runs.
32
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,823
And win every home game.
The end.
33
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,795
So, how'd you like our report?
34
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:40,993
Stinks.
35
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,026
Stinks!
How'd you like my half?
36
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,007
Relax, Mr. Matthews.
I blame myself.
37
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,668
You do? Cool.
38
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,179
Yes. I let you choose
your own partner.
39
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:58,014
An astounding lapse of judgment
for someone of my experience.
40
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,519
I'm going to let you
try again...
41
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,954
but this time
I'll choose the teams.
42
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,049
Mr. Hunter,
you'll work with Mr. Minkus.
43
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,652
BoTH: oh, no.
44
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,025
And Mr. Matthews...
45
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,586
Yeah, I'll hook up
with Mr. Sullivan.
46
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,758
No, no. That's worse.
47
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,994
You'll work with
Miss Lawrence.
48
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,162
Topanga?
49
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,368
Give me your hand.
50
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,238
Why?
51
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:27,246
I want to see
if our energies converge.
52
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,950
Ooh.
53
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,179
He's vibrationally acceptable.
54
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,091
Thanks.
55
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,392
Uh, Mr. Feeny,
may I approach the bench?
56
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,988
Objection, Mr. Matthews?
57
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,557
Can you be swayed on this?
58
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,069
I'm Gibraltar.
59
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,570
Come on, Mr. Feeny.
60
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,631
Topanga's,
like, totally strange.
61
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,872
Strange is in the eye
of the beholder, Mr. Matthews.
62
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,071
I, for example...
63
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,774
have a young neighbor
who sings along with...
64
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,477
his little sister's
Barney records.
65
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,682
You hear that?
66
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,551
Why would I want
to invite him to my party?
67
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,783
What's wrong with him?
68
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,724
He's gross.
He's a total Brillo head.
69
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,538
What do you think of my hair?
70
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:42,377
Guys don't ask guys
that question.
71
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,816
Well, would this
qualify as a Brillo head?
72
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:50,118
Nah. You're more like
a Nerf head.
73
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:53,058
You knew this,
and you didn't tell me?
74
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,061
You got curly hair.
Big deal.
75
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,494
Can we move on now?
76
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,191
Sure.
It's easy for you to talk.
77
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,597
You got hair. I'm a Chia pet.
78
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,504
Cory...
79
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,998
I got Jedidiah to drive me
to your house after school.
80
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,738
Who's Jedidiah?
81
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,177
My father.
82
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:16,046
Wait.
You call your father Jedidiah?
83
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,050
That's his name.
84
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,915
What do you call your father?
85
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,921
Well, like
a lot of normal people...
86
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,515
I refer to him as "Dad."
87
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:28,460
Then how do you tell him apart
from all the other dads?
88
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,924
Look, Topanga, is there any way
we can do this assignment...
89
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,594
on the phone or by telepathy?
90
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:38,468
It concerns our environment.
91
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,133
I think it deserves
more direct attention.
92
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,404
OK, oK. I'll see you at
my house after school.
93
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,910
Before I leave...
94
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,779
I'd like you to sign a petition
to save Mrs. Rosemead's job.
95
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,715
Who's Mrs. Rosemead?
96
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,615
Our librarian.
97
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,620
They're forcing her to retire.
98
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,519
It's blatant ageism.
99
00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:00,083
Maybe because
she's blatantly old.
100
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,287
Look, can we talk about
this later?
101
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,796
We're real, real busy here.
102
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,526
Fine.
I'll respect your space.
103
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,997
Wow. Feeny must really
hate your guts.
104
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,336
Could be worse.
105
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,276
At least
he didn't give me Minkus.
106
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,506
Hey, Minkus doesn't like me...
107
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,777
he doesn't trust me,
and he doesn't respect me.
108
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,284
So he's doing
the whole assignment by himself.
109
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:28,515
In my book,
Stuart Minkus is a god.
110
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:32,116
Then why is he sitting at
the weirdo table?
111
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,188
It's like the cast
of "The Addams Family."
112
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,868
Don't they care
what they look like?
113
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,565
Who cares what they look like?
114
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,199
What am I
going to do about my hair?
115
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,209
If you're that stressed out...
116
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,269
I'll ask my sister what she uses
to straighten her hair.
117
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,338
Your sister
straightens her hair?
118
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:59,341
Yeah. If she didn't,
it'd look as bad as...
119
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,877
oh, I don't know, you.
120
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,221
Mommy,
if my dolly is cold...
121
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,095
can I put her
in the toaster oven?
122
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,068
No, honey.
That would be a mistake.
123
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,467
- Mommy?
- What?
124
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,597
I made a mistake.
125
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,901
Cory, didn't you smell that?
126
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,437
I just thought we were having
plastic for dinner.
127
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,216
I don't care
what she looks like.
128
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:37,223
Debbie's my doll,
and I love her.
129
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,851
Well, sweetheart,
we'll get you another doll.
130
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,087
OK.
131
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,287
See you later, Amy.
132
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,462
- Amy?
- or if you prefer, Mom.
133
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,503
I told you.
134
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,303
I have some ideas
on our presentation.
135
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,310
So do I.
Here's what we do.
136
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,608
We hit Feeny hard.
We hit him fast.
137
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,341
The ozone layer...
it's got a hole.
138
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,407
Wear a hat.
We're in, we're out.
139
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,919
I kind of had
a whole different approach...
140
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,420
to the report.
141
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:11,913
Less conventional,
more performance art.
142
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,927
No, please,
let's stick to conventional.
143
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:18,522
Conventional's good because
no one laughs at conventional.
144
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,261
Read this poem out loud.
145
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,702
A poem?
Please, not a poem.
146
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,935
[NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYS]
147
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,999
"Sun.
148
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,567
"The only.
149
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,579
"The one."
150
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,709
"Doughnut in the sky.
151
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:41,380
"Space. Big gaping place.
152
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:46,982
"Without. Within. our skin.
153
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,824
"Doughnut in the sky.
154
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,422
"Freon.
155
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,398
"Fluorocarbon.
156
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,925
"Humpback whale. So pale.
157
00:08:56,970 --> 00:09:00,428
"Exhaust. Is all lost?
158
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,270
"Doughnut in the sky."
159
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:10,080
Yeah, we could do that
in front of the class...
160
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,641
but before we do,
will you just please...
161
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,620
take a huge baseball bat
and hit me over the head?
162
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,154
You didn't think it had meaning?
163
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,683
Yeah, it means
we'll be laughed out of school.
164
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,697
Why do you care so much
what other people think?
165
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,699
When people laugh at you...
166
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,964
they're depleting
their own karmic reservoir.
167
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,269
You're going to be
one of those girls...
168
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,968
who doesn't shave her legs,
aren't you?
169
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,509
I haven't decided yet.
170
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,244
Do you actually
try to be weird?
171
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,252
I don't think I'm Weird.
172
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,753
I think I'm unique.
173
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,017
Jedidiah and Chloe say...
174
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,581
that every time
you're not true to yourself...
175
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,115
the earth weeps.
176
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:59,061
Do they say that
in their native Martian?
177
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,535
The earth
is crying for you, Cory.
178
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,537
I'd rather
have the earth crying...
179
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,038
than my friends laughing.
180
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,302
People make fun of you, Topanga.
181
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,241
So?
182
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,439
I couldn't take it.
I just want to blend in.
183
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,948
Well, you're sure good at it.
184
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:18,780
You look like all
the other plain-wrapped kids...
185
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,343
at school...
except for your red hat.
186
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,355
Hey, I got that on Cap Night.
187
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,550
I had to Wait an hour in line.
188
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:31,125
Well, if
it's important to you...
189
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,927
then it's beautiful.
190
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,158
Got the stuff.
191
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,997
Use a mirror, babe.
192
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,609
What stuff?
193
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,116
Let me ask you something.
194
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,711
What do you think of my hair?
You think it looks good?
195
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:57,484
It's beautiful,
like a desert tumbleweed.
196
00:10:57,524 --> 00:11:00,550
OK. Thank you
for those thoughts.
197
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,424
Look, Topanga,
you want to do...
198
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,123
this performance thing,
you go for it.
199
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,529
I'll see you tomorrow.
200
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,192
Are we all done for today?
201
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,098
Yeah. Shawn and I
have another project...
202
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,534
we're working on now.
203
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,800
Really? What is it?
204
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,206
Well, you know
how those dolphins...
205
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,539
get caught in the tuna nets?
206
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:18,874
Yeah.
207
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,903
It's got
nothing to do with that.
208
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,789
So, should this stuff
be burning?
209
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,053
Why, is it burning?
210
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:35,720
No. I'm just trying
to make conversation...
211
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,730
because we never really
get to talk.
212
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,629
- How bad's it burning?
- Call your sister.
213
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:44,069
Ask her if my ears should feel
like throbbing jalapenos.
214
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:45,570
Hi, Stacey. It's me.
215
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,970
Listen, Cory wants to know
if that stuff...
216
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,564
you sent over
should be burning.
217
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,633
Uh-huh. Really?
218
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,542
Hurting! Hurting now!
219
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,739
Stacey wants to know
how long it's been burning?
220
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,305
- 40, 45 minutes.
- 45 minutes.
221
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,680
Shawn,
I'm going to rip my head off!
222
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,981
Stacey says you should've
washed it out 45 minutes ago.
223
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,111
Aah!
224
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,622
Stacey says you shouldn't
have left it in so long.
225
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:06,625
Stacey says why didn't
you two idiots read the label?
226
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,991
Oh, thanks, Stace.
227
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:12,156
CoRY: Aah!
228
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:16,567
Aah!
229
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,935
Aah!
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
230
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,733
[GASPS]
231
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:23,935
BOTH: Aaah!
232
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,845
SHAWN: I had
nothing to do with this.
233
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,441
Cory, what did you do
to your beautiful hair?
234
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:35,011
It Wasn't beautiful.
It looked like Velcro.
235
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:38,615
Nothing's going
to stick to that now, man.
236
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,489
This is your fault.
You got the good hair.
237
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:42,687
Yeah, I did, didn't I?
238
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,389
OK. We can fix this.
239
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,765
Just... not with a comb.
240
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,327
Doesn't really matter, Mom.
His hair's gonna fall out.
241
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,703
Eric, stop it.
242
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,037
What? I'm just saying.
243
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,336
Kid at school
tried the same thing.
244
00:12:56,376 --> 00:13:00,073
Bald as cue ball.
She looks terrible.
245
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,013
I don't like my new dolly.
246
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,016
She's not wearing
a pretty dress.
247
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,018
Well, honey,
she's a businesswoman.
248
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,020
I mean, this dolly
has gone to college...
249
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:09,351
has a good job...
250
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,552
and doesn't need Ken
to support her.
251
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:16,050
Who cares?
I got a head problem here.
252
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,586
Hey, it's Punky Brewster!
253
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,135
That's a hat, right?
254
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,468
Yeah.
Try and take it off.
255
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,407
Cory, what did you do?
256
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,508
I tried to straighten
my hair, oK?
257
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,384
With what, shellac?
258
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,719
Dad, you think
a little shampoo might...
259
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:46,224
No. You see, the whole
principle behind shampoo...
260
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,817
is that it actually has
to touch your hair.
261
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,350
It's completely ineffective
if there's...
262
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,920
a polyurethane force field
surrounding your head.
263
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,228
I just hope
your hair doesn't fall out.
264
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,427
Alan!
265
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,628
Oh, honey,
a guy at work, Mike...
266
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,829
put this kind of stuff
in his hair.
267
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,030
Bald as a cue ball.
268
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,302
OK. Listen up, family...
269
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,673
because I admit I didn't
know what I was doing...
270
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,007
when I put this stuff
on my head.
271
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,638
And I admit I didn't know
what it was going to do to me.
272
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,375
But here's the thing I do know.
273
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,248
I am under no circumstances
going to school tomorrow.
274
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,583
Is that clear?
No school for Cory.
275
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,986
School, Cory, no.
276
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,321
All right.
Next up for oral reports...
277
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,327
Miss Lawrence and Mr. Matthews.
278
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,521
Let's go, Mr. Matthews.
279
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,860
Remove your cap
and deliver your report.
280
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,365
I can't remove my cap...
281
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,868
because our report
is on the ozone layer...
282
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:34,965
and the cap is part of
our UV-protection angle.
283
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,805
No caps in my class.
284
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:41,302
Mr. Feeny, if there was
one shred of humanity in you...
285
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,178
you'll let me keep this on.
286
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:47,676
Too many years of sixth graders
have bled me of my humanity.
287
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,381
Take off your cap.
288
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,625
[LAUGHING]
289
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,571
Go ahead, laugh.
290
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,802
Your hair looks different.
Why would I laugh?
291
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,056
Over here... duck head.
292
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,082
[LAUGHING]
293
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,718
ToPANGA: Cory...
294
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,353
there's a seat for you here.
295
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,400
Tofu?
296
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,076
I only got one signature
on our petition.
297
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,585
It's so sad.
298
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,588
How come no one cares about
Mrs. Rosemead?
299
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,182
Because she's, like, old.
300
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,692
In Eastern culture...
301
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:03,251
old people are valued for
their knowledge.
302
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,456
Darren,
I've been meaning...
303
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,261
to ask you something
since the fourth grade.
304
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,268
Every day you come to school
with a cape.
305
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,963
What's the deal with the cape?
306
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,561
What cape?
307
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,304
Look, could someone else
take this for a while?
308
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,609
I'm getting tired of
having lima beans...
309
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,444
and spit wads
shot at me all day.
310
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,950
I'll take it.
311
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,852
I'm used to having objects
hurled at my head.
312
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,482
No one's going to sign
your petition.
313
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:32,752
Why not?
314
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,692
Because you're weird.
315
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,663
However,
I say that respectfully...
316
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:40,928
since I am now one of you.
317
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,060
But I know how
to get them to sign.
318
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,070
Why should we listen to you?
319
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,572
You didn't even know
who Mrs. Rosemead was.
320
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,268
I don't have
to know Mrs. Rosemead.
321
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:50,468
All I have to know
is the people...
322
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,410
who you want
to sign the petition.
323
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,912
We know who they are.
324
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,414
They're people like that
right over there.
325
00:16:56,449 --> 00:17:00,317
They might as well be
a billion miles away.
326
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,344
You don't know a thing
about them.
327
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,980
What do they like to do
after school?
328
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,752
What do they like
to watch on TV?
329
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,986
- "Crossfire"?
- "MacNeil-Lehrer Report."
330
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,724
I enjoy anything
with Angela Lansbury.
331
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:16,224
All right. I'll assume
those are all actual shows.
332
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,294
They're not watching those.
333
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,464
They're out there watching
"Beavis and Butthead."
334
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,932
ALL: Whom?
335
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:27,844
Exactly my point.
336
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,145
You want to sell your idea,
you need to know your buyer.
337
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,481
You got to organize,
you got to strategize.
338
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:34,986
And most of all...
339
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:39,390
you need people
who aren't... you.
340
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,620
Are you proposing to help us?
341
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,151
Yeah, I guess I am.
342
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,355
Why?
343
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,855
Because life is strange,
and now so am I.
344
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,786
OK. What I'm doing is...
345
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:12,416
I'm just trying to get
my hair back to normal.
346
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,720
Sure.
347
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,226
If you say anything...
348
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,991
I'll find some way to hurt you
when I'm older.
349
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,497
Not a word, man.
350
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,999
I mean, it's cool, you know.
351
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,523
Don't worry about it.
352
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:27,699
Hey!
353
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,799
I own you now.
354
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,312
How much longer
are we going to wait for him?
355
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,315
Just a couple more minutes.
356
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,317
He's not going to show.
357
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,410
We were stupid to believe him.
358
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,943
I feel cheap.
359
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,727
I know you people
are way too smart and mature...
360
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,755
to find something
as degrading as this funny.
361
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,528
[LAUGHING]
362
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,799
Look, the bell's
going to ring any second.
363
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,932
Are we going to help out
Mrs. Rosemead or not?
364
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,498
Let's rock 'n' roll.
365
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,111
Remember, hold your ground.
366
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,612
It's Friday afternoon...
367
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,616
and we are the only
roadblock to freedom.
368
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,140
Things could get ugly.
369
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,279
[BELL RINGS]
370
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:21,654
What are you geeks doing?
We're going to miss the bus.
371
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,662
Hey, look. It's Don King.
372
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,220
[LAUGHING]
373
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:26,856
OK, look. Here's the deal.
374
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,732
The school board is forcing
Mrs. Rosemead to retire.
375
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,999
Who cares? It's the weekend.
376
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,007
Come on, you guys. The woman's
been here for 40 years...
377
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,339
and they're just
putting her out to pasture.
378
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,241
Just sign our petition
and we'll move.
379
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,973
Move or die.
380
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,681
OK, you can kill us,
but think about this.
381
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,688
Mrs. Rosemead's been here
for, like, a billion years.
382
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,485
She couldn't care less
what we do.
383
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,684
Hey, Larry, tell them...
384
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,386
how you got out
of study hall last week.
385
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,396
I told her I was training
for the olympic decathlon.
386
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,398
And she believed you, right?
387
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,832
She bought me a discus.
388
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,563
See? She'll go for anything.
389
00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:06,093
Now, you know
what's going to happen?
390
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,572
They're going to hire
someone young to replace her.
391
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:10,768
And this one's going to have
something to prove.
392
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,370
And, my good friends,
study hall as we know it...
393
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,245
is gonna be over... forever.
394
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,118
Where's the stupid petition?
395
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,518
- Cafeteria.
- I'm signing.
396
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,884
Wow.
397
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,554
You did great, Cory.
398
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:33,087
It was kind of cool
staring down an angry mob.
399
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,828
I never knew I had it in me.
400
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:40,032
Sometimes the reluctant warrior
is the bravest warrior.
401
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:47,304
You're not going to, like,
kiss me now, are you?
402
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,780
Would it be your first kiss?
403
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,806
Hey, don't come near me.
404
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:55,853
Because
it would be interesting...
405
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:59,255
if all your life you remembered
that your first kiss happened...
406
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,384
when you thought
you looked weird, wouldn't it?
407
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,863
No, it wouldn't be interesting.
Get away.
408
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,331
Because then you'd know.
409
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:10,358
It's not what you look like
on the outside that matters.
410
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,666
It's what kind of person
you are.
411
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:16,334
You shouldn't kiss somebody
you're not married to.
412
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,276
Hmm. Yeah.
413
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,836
I would have to feel
I really knew the person.
414
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,348
And that I liked him.
415
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,576
Good.
416
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,079
Good.
417
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,602
It was my first one, too.
418
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,016
You know,
I want to tell you something.
419
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,712
Brillo Head wouldn't have come
to your party anyway.
420
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,186
What are you talking about?
421
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:05,088
I'm talking about the hair
does not make the man.
422
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,558
And I speak
from personal experience.
423
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:09,527
You shouldn't
talk about people like that.
424
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:11,462
Don't flatter yourself, Cory.
425
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:12,964
We weren't
even talking about you.
426
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,898
You called me Brillo Head.
427
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,095
We were talking about
my sister's friend Dwayne.
428
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,003
We never talk about you, Cory.
We're not that bored.
429
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,233
[LAUGHS]
430
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,871
I see you got
your old hair back.
431
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,074
Yeah.
432
00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:31,742
You like it better that way?
433
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:33,183
It's just hair.
434
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:36,120
There's still a seat for you
if you want to sit down with us.
435
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:39,022
I kind of promised the guys
I'd have lunch with them today.
436
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:40,821
Yeah, I understand.
437
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,829
Well, there's always
a seat here for you.
438
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,421
Thanks.
439
00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,137
Hey, touch football
in my backyard after school.
440
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:55,800
Yeah. I'll be there????????????????????????????????????????????????
441
00:22:55,850 --> 00:23:00,400
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