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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,828
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:23,446
Hmm... bag feels
a little light, Dad.
3
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,321
- Chips!
- Chips!
4
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,900
Chocolate chips.
5
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,802
It's good to be men.
6
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,432
Better to be living men.
7
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,533
Come on, Mom. Manly food.
8
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,170
Come on, Cor. Momly food.
9
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,010
Humor her.
She washes your underwear.
10
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,175
Aren't you going
to cut these sandwiches?
11
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,616
No, no. When men eat...
12
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,847
they like to feel a fistful
of bread and meat...
13
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,355
not some crustless
little triangle.
14
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,585
Yeah, Mom. Last time
you made us sandwiches...
15
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,593
all the truckers
that passed us laughed...
16
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,152
and thought
we were major nozzles.
17
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,164
I want to go see
the Blue Angels.
18
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,723
These aren't angels
from heaven, Morgan.
19
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,463
Yeah, these angels
are from the Navy.
20
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,471
Me and Dad are gonna
watch 'em do formations.
21
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,372
- I want to go with you.
- Ya do?
22
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,670
Cory.
23
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,973
Dad. You know
she can't sit still.
24
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:22,004
You know she's got an attention
span of, like, two seconds.
25
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,482
Morgan?
26
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,984
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
27
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,451
I got it.
28
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:31,121
Heather, I'm sorry.
Look, you wear a turtleneck...
29
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,921
no one's even gonna notice.
30
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,860
OK. I sucked a neck.
31
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,505
Mrs. Matthews,
Leonard Spinelli.
32
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,598
I'm Mr. Matthews'
assistant manager.
33
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,336
Lenny, I know who you are.
34
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,674
You've had dinner here
maybe twenty times.
35
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,509
Oh, well,
I'm just never sure...
36
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,572
if I really make
an impression on people.
37
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,083
Yeah, you do.
38
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,450
I tried phoning, repeatedly.
39
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,978
Did you know call waiting
is only pennies a day?
40
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,252
Lenny alert.
41
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,261
Mr. Matthews,
I'm very sorry...
42
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,525
to disturb you at home,
especially on a Sunday.
43
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,158
Especially when you're
spending time with your family.
44
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,326
Leonard Spinelli.
45
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,834
Lenny, I know who you are.
46
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,839
Oh, really? Because
I'm never really sure if...
47
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,067
Yeah.
48
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,541
You do.
49
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,635
Lenny, you came here.
50
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,441
I assume there's a point.
51
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,449
Right. Mr. Matthews,
if we move quickly...
52
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,452
I think we can contain
this thing.
53
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,647
Oh, the horror!
54
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,588
Bottom line, Lenny.
55
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,751
Right, right. oh, boy.
The bottom line is this.
56
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,762
You know that long shelf
over the produce department...
57
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,764
that holds all those
cases of Perrier?
58
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:45,992
Yeah.
59
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,831
- It doesn't do that anymore.
- It fell down?
60
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,133
"Fell down"
would be one way of putting it.
61
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,264
Another way would be
that the bottles crashed...
62
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,900
through those produce bins
like they were eggshells...
63
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,967
and sent an imported
French tidal wave...
64
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,842
all the way down aisle six.
65
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,745
What's on aisle six?
66
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,216
10,000 packages
of Alka Seltzer.
67
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,812
- Was anybody hurt?
- Hard to say.
68
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,414
Mr. Conklin was still fizzing
when I left.
69
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:13,426
- I got to go.
- Dad...
70
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:17,021
Cory, I got to go. I've got
an effervescent produce manager.
71
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,793
Well, you got a warping son.
72
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,959
I'm not spending enough
time with my dad.
73
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,525
You step out of this house...
74
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,833
I'm on my way
to my first ballet lesson.
75
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,668
I'll promise you.
I'll make it up to you.
76
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,335
Hey, I promise.
77
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,974
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
78
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,829
[MUSIC PLAYING]
79
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,540
Hey, Cory. Cory.
80
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,340
Phillies are playing
on the west coast...
81
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,040
and Schilling's going
into the seventh inning...
82
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,514
with a no-hitter
against the Dodgers.
83
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,709
You too tired to come down...
84
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,842
and watch the rest
of the game with me?
85
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,353
What, are you new here?
86
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,389
The Phillies got
a no-hitter going.
87
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,687
Want to come down watch the game
with me and Cory?
88
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,353
I can't. I'm...
89
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,726
I'm naked,
and I'm taking a math test.
90
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,101
[BALLPARK ORGAN PLAYING]
91
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,869
Boy, you never
see this on a menu.
92
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,379
They don't know good.
93
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,712
ANNOUNCER: Long fly baLL.
94
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,479
CouLd be the no-hitter.
95
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,112
No! Dykstra puLLs it back
over the waLL.
96
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,486
[BOTH GRUMBLING]
97
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,388
- I hear ya.
- Mmph!
98
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,198
Thanks for waking me up, Dad.
99
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:39,569
Hey, wouldn't be
this much fun without you.
100
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,471
Uh, don't tell Mom.
101
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:43,973
Mom's not in on this?
102
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,706
No, no, no.
This is kind of a guy secret.
103
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:50,011
Well, a father-son bonding.
104
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:55,182
Your mother can never
find out about this.
105
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,216
- Dad?
- Hmm?
106
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:04,162
This was as good as watching
those navy planes any day.
107
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,031
MR. FEENY:
All right, class, time's up.
108
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:16,634
Please pass your test papers
to the front of your rows.
109
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:20,635
Mr. Minkus, this test didn't
require an essay answer...
110
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,776
but how refreshing that you've
chosen to include one.
111
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,649
Ahem. Suck-up.
112
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:27,880
Future plumber.
113
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,990
Feels a C-minus short.
114
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,686
Ah, yes.
115
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,195
Here We are.
116
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,333
Huh? Is the test over?
117
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,698
How'd I do?
118
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,397
- Looks like an "A."
- I got an "A"?
119
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,667
No. "A" is the only answer
you put down...
120
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,606
before you slipped
into the coma.
121
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,872
So, what did I get?
122
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:55,405
Well, you answered one question
out of forty, and got it wrong.
123
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,780
So what grade do you think
I'm going to give you?
124
00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:02,777
Can it be found at the beginning
of the word "fajita"?
125
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,687
Si. senor.
126
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,784
Come on, Mr. Feeny.
I was up till after midnight.
127
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,454
Oh, and what
earth-shattering event...
128
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,191
kept you up
till that time of night?
129
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,357
A no-hitter.
130
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,526
You got to stay up
and watch the game?
131
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,831
- With my dad.
- Cool.
132
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,634
Ah, baseball. Silly me.
133
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,197
I thought
you might've stayed up...
134
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,471
for something frivolous,
like the announcement...
135
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,343
from Stockholm
of the Nobel Prizes.
136
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,870
Biophysics...
Dr. Ira Soochek.
137
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,315
Medicine... Dr. Lin Yi Pao.
138
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,252
Economics...
Professor Narwhal Fowab.
139
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,414
And I'm fresh as a daisy.
140
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,215
- Teacher's pet.
- Fix a sink.
141
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,994
- Hi, babe.
- Hi, Daddy.
142
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,760
I think he was talking to me.
143
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,700
Well, actually,
it was a generic "babe"...
144
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,329
encompassing all of womanhood.
145
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,669
Oh, don't I feel special?
146
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,676
CoRY: Dad. Dad! We blew it.
147
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,234
Hey, I haven't seen you
since breakfast.
148
00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,711
Whatever it was,
you blew it yourself.
149
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,909
I failed a test today
just because I fell asleep.
150
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:06,146
I told Mr. Feeny you and I
were up past midnight...
151
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,553
watching this incredible
no-hitter and...
152
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,419
and then I realized...
153
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:15,155
it was probably just
an intensely vivid dream.
154
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,100
You kept him up that late
on a school night?
155
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,693
Well, it may not have been me.
156
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,261
I think I saw
some other father...
157
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,068
slurking around out there
after midnight.
158
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,076
Midnight on a school night?
What were you thinking?
159
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,568
I was thinking that I don't
spend enough time with my son.
160
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:37,310
I was thinking that I promised
to make it up to him.
161
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,682
I was thinking I'd go have
a talk with Mr. Feeny.
162
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,016
Thank you.
163
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,579
I'll explain it to him, get him
to let Cory take a make-up test.
164
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,885
Oh, I'm so glad.
165
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,757
Because until you do,
you're grounded.
166
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,961
Does that really work?
Can she ground you?
167
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,668
In certain ways, yes.
168
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,609
All right, Dad.
The Dad-inator.
169
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,838
You're gonna crush Feeny
like a grape.
170
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,245
- George.
- Alan.
171
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,612
Mr. Feeny.
172
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,048
Mr. Matthews.
173
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,779
ALAN: I'd Like
to taLk to you...
174
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,309
about that test
my son failed today.
175
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,254
Of course, Alan.
I'm always available...
176
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,383
to discuss a student's progress
or problems...
177
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:20,791
with an interested parent.
178
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,125
You see, it was my fault
he fell asleep in class.
179
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:26,690
- I kept him up late last night.
- To watch a baseball game.
180
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,031
A no-hitter!
A piece of Phillies' history.
181
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:33,699
You know when the last one was?
May 23, 1991. Tommy Greene.
182
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:37,141
And do you want to know
what happened June 21, 1964?
183
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,270
A perfect game. Jim Bunning.
184
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:43,146
And what year did Magellan
circumnavigate the globe?
185
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,549
Why would I fill my head
with that junk?
186
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:49,248
Uh... George, I had made plans
with Cory yesterday...
187
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,280
and something came up.
I had to cancel.
188
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,622
I promised to make it up to him,
so I got him out of bed...
189
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,595
last night for a little
father-son bonding.
190
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:57,596
I see.
191
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,599
So, can he take a make-up test
later this week?
192
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,430
Cory may not take
a make-up test.
193
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,198
The "F" stands.
194
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,736
I thought you said
you understood.
195
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,004
I believe
I do understand, Alan.
196
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,011
But understanding
and condoning...
197
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,673
are two entirely
separate concepts.
198
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,979
So you're gonna fail a boy for
spending time with his father?
199
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,281
In my 35 years of teaching...
200
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,982
I have heard every
excuse imaginable...
201
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,456
for why someone fails a test.
202
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,984
What's my excuse
if somewhere down the line...
203
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,655
a child fails at something...
204
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,461
because I once abrogated
my responsibility...
205
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,933
to impart knowledge?
206
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,162
I've got to listen
to this every day.
207
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,036
- House.
- Gone.
208
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,945
Look, I don't understand...
209
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,347
why you're making
a federal case out of this.
210
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,680
Maybe if you were entrusted...
211
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:55,313
with the education
of 32 sixth-graders every day...
212
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,414
you would understand
what I'm talking about.
213
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,391
And maybe if you had a son...
214
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,086
and were trying to find time
to spend with him...
215
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,526
in between your job...
216
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,530
and fixing the car,
and insulating the attic...
217
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,464
you'd understand
what I'm talking about.
218
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,228
But you don't have
a son, George...
219
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,395
so how could you understand?
220
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,994
[ALAN SIGHS]
221
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,199
Well, we are obviously...
222
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,038
on opposite sides
of the fence here.
223
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,101
Yes, we are.
224
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,705
Now, this conversation
is over.
225
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,246
Aw, Dad. You got Feened.
226
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,650
Ah, the conquering
heroes return.
227
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,956
How did you do?
228
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,087
[WHISTLES]
229
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,358
[BOOM]
230
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,730
It was a very
difficult conversation.
231
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,598
'Cause Feeny's a butt.
232
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,035
Hey, you don't call
your teacher that.
233
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,232
Good teachers are a rare
commodity in this world...
234
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,434
and George Feeny
is a great teacher.
235
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:52,740
Why don't you go upstairs
and get some tennis clothes on.
236
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,679
We'll go down to the "Y",
hit some balls.
237
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,703
OK.
238
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,650
Feeny's a butt.
239
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:00,880
Alan.
240
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,478
I know what you're
going to say.
241
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,580
No, you don't.
242
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,284
Oh, yes I do.
You're gonna say...
243
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,259
I'm a jerk for keeping
my kid up half the night...
244
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,783
and then trying
to weasel his teacher...
245
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,887
into making an exception
to the rules.
246
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,591
That's not what
I was going to say.
247
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,259
OK, what were you
going to say?
248
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,858
Forks go on the left.
249
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,508
- That's it?
- No.
250
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,908
I know why you did
what you did...
251
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:29,108
and I love you for wanting
to spend more time with Cory...
252
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,742
but you can't just
jerk his life around...
253
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,843
to... to let yourself
off the hook...
254
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,615
when you don't
have time for him.
255
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,917
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
256
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,947
ERIC: I'LL get it!
257
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,655
Mr. Matthews?
Leonard Spinelli.
258
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,186
- I work for your father.
- I know that, Lenny.
259
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,290
I see you at the store
every day.
260
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,995
Look, you're
the assistant manager.
261
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,561
I'm just a boxboy.
Why don't you call me Eric?
262
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,096
That would make me
intensely uncomfortable.
263
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,234
I blanch at the thought.
264
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,108
Lenny, was there something
you had to tell my dad?
265
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,010
Yes, there was.
Hence, I came here.
266
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,015
He's right in there.
267
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,341
Oh, God!
268
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,121
Hello, Lenny.
269
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,590
Mr. Matthews, I'm very sorry
to disturb you at home...
270
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,252
especially after-hours.
271
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,091
Especially when you're
giving mrs. Matthews...
272
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,063
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
273
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:21,828
- Why are you in my kitchen?
- There's a problem at the store.
274
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,733
Well, of course there's
a problem at the store.
275
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,328
There's always
a problem at the store.
276
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,168
That's why they hire
a manager.
277
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:30,767
Can you tell me why they hire
an assistant manager?
278
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:34,803
To tell the manager when
there's a problem at the store?
279
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,407
No. To assist the manager...
280
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,317
by taking care of the problem
when he's not there.
281
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,480
I had no idea.
282
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,387
I apologize.
Forget I was here...
283
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,585
because this is a problem
for the assistant manager.
284
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,025
There is no problem for you.
285
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,926
- Dad, you ready?
- Yes, I am.
286
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,793
I'm ready to play
tennis with my son...
287
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,059
and bring him home early...
288
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,659
let him get a good night's rest,
send him off to school...
289
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,296
and watch those As
start rolling in.
290
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,896
And I am going
back to the store...
291
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,169
to make sure we never again
put the lighter fluid...
292
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,676
next to
the rotisserie chickens.
293
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,439
Are we talking
about a fire, Lenny?
294
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,607
Yeah, but there is
no problem for you.
295
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,514
How much of the store is left?
296
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,416
St...
297
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,886
Cory...
298
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,889
Dad, it's oK,
and you don't have...
299
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,584
to wake me up
or anything later.
300
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:20,285
We'll play tennis
some other time.
301
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:21,520
Is the fire out, Lenny?
302
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,688
Oh, yeah. We contained
the actual flameage.
303
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,288
Fine. Wait for me in the car.
304
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:26,730
Yes, sir.
305
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,529
Miss Matthews,
Leonard Spinelli.
306
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,195
I work for your father.
307
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,704
Lenny, we've been through this.
308
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,632
Cory, your mother
just said something to me...
309
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,406
that made a lot of sense.
310
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,470
Don't you hate
when she does that?
311
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,607
Yes, I do.
312
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,810
She pointed out to me
that I'm angry...
313
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,150
at the wrong guy
about your test.
314
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,018
Well, what other guy
is there?
315
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,956
Mr. Feeny's the one
who failed me.
316
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,323
No, I failed you.
I didn't do my job.
317
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,987
You're at the store all day.
318
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,928
How could you say you're
not doing your job?
319
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,296
I didn't do my job
as your father.
320
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,357
What?
321
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,868
Look, if it was up to me...
322
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,460
you wouldn't have
to go to sleep at all.
323
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,698
You wouldn't have
to go to school...
324
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,035
I wouldn't have
to go to work...
325
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,973
and we could just spend
all our time together.
326
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,067
And there's nothing
that I'd rather do.
327
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:13,010
Then why don't we do that?
328
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,342
I don't know.
329
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,178
I guess the family's
gotten used to eating.
330
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,774
Cory...
331
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:22,584
I shouldn't have kept you up
late last night.
332
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,420
Mr. Feeny is right.
333
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,125
Uh-oh.
334
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,940
Don't shoot, Mr. Feeny!
335
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,708
I'm just getting
my tennis ball!
336
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,581
Good evening, Mr. Matthews.
337
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,177
Care to join me for a drink?
338
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,848
Uh... sure.
339
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,652
Help yourself.
340
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,213
Hey! This is apple juice!
341
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:32,190
Oh, gee, I must've left it
in there too long.
342
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,749
Nice, uh...
343
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,693
What do you call this thing?
344
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,720
Hmm, a Christmas present
from my sister.
345
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,698
She forgets that I only take...
346
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,634
the occasional glass of claret
with dinner.
347
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,161
So, how come you're sitting
outside in the dark?
348
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,107
I was thinking about
when I was a boy...
349
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,406
just a little younger
than you are.
350
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,935
There was a war going on.
351
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:57,609
It's hard to picture you
as a boy.
352
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,517
Did your parents
call you Mr. Feeny?
353
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,753
I used to ask my mother...
354
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:08,487
why I could only have butter on
my toast two mornings a week...
355
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,088
and she said,
"Because of the war in Europe."
356
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,758
And I wondered why there was
never enough candy...
357
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,394
and she told me,
"Because of the war in Europe."
358
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:20,064
oh, and I longed
for a pair of sneakers.
359
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,903
But I couldn't have any.
360
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:25,206
Those Europe guys stole 'em?
361
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:29,772
No, no. The rubber had to be
diverted to the war effort.
362
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,874
There was a version
of a sneaker available...
363
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,751
but it was made
out of recycled tires...
364
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,847
and left black marks
on the gym floor.
365
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,949
Hey, you took gym?
366
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,789
They made me.
367
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:47,429
Anyway, I prayed every night
for an end to the war in Europe.
368
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:50,799
Not from any altruistic desire
for world peace.
369
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:56,138
Just a boy's selfish wish
for buttered toast and sneakers.
370
00:17:56,175 --> 00:18:00,976
Then I heard that Mr. Truman was
going on the radio that night...
371
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,072
to announce the end of the war.
372
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,276
And I went home
and asked my father...
373
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:09,311
if I could stay up with him
to hear the president.
374
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,255
Do you know what he said?
375
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,121
I'm guessing it's
either yes or no...
376
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:17,095
but we both know how well I do
on multiple choice.
377
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:22,462
He said...
"Tomorrow's a school day.
378
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,594
"I don't want you up with me."
379
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:29,472
So you're saying your dad really
knew the value of education.
380
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,840
No, I'm saying
my father didn't want me...
381
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:35,745
hanging around with him
and his drinking buddies.
382
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,579
As a result,
the next day at school...
383
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,611
I was rested and fresh
and ready to learn.
384
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,919
I see your point, Mr. Feeny.
385
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,949
No, I don't think
you really do, Cory.
386
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:51,862
What do you suppose
I learned in school that day?
387
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:55,162
I know this has got
to be a biggie...
388
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,931
like the Magna Carta
or something.
389
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:01,736
I have no idea
what you learned that day.
390
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,708
Neither do I.
391
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,836
You see, Mr. Matthews...
392
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:09,041
education is not about
obscure facts...
393
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,276
and little test scores.
394
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:15,048
Education is about
the overall effect...
395
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,783
of years of slow absorption...
396
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,053
concepts, philosophies...
397
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:23,084
approaches to problem-solving.
398
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:28,965
The whole process is so grand
and all-encompassing...
399
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,094
that it really can't
be threatened...
400
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:34,595
by the occasional
late-night no-hitter.
401
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:41,370
It is important that a boy
spend time with his father.
402
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,678
But... how do you know that?
403
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,809
Your dad didn't let you
stay up with him.
404
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,342
That's precisely Why I do know.
405
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:50,881
ALAN: Cory!
406
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,356
Over here, Dad...
407
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,154
having a drink with Mr. Feeny.
408
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,292
It's just apple juice.
How's the store?
409
00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,763
Oh, the store is fine.
410
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,858
Just a small grease fire
at the rotisserie.
411
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,462
Tomorrow we'll run a special
on blackened chicken.
412
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,495
- Alan.
- George.
413
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,565
Better come in, kiddo.
About time for bed.
414
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:10,870
Sure, Dad.
415
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,176
Um... are we ever gonna study
that European sneaker war?
416
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,614
I think you'll
get to it sometime...
417
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,709
in the course
of your education.
418
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,721
Good, 'cause it sounded
really interesting.
419
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,450
Oh, it was.
420
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:27,084
Well, good night, Mr. Feeny.
421
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,923
Good night, Mr. Matthews.
422
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,094
Ahem. I, uh...
423
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,569
just want you to know
I'm gonna have him in bed...
424
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,368
every night
when he's supposed to be.
425
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,104
Well, I want you to know
that if I did have a son...
426
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,704
and the opportunity
presented itself...
427
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,648
to wake him up
to watch a baseball game...
428
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:55,052
or to listen to the president
on the radio...
429
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,523
or for absolutely
no reason at all...
430
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,522
Well...
431
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,085
good night, Alan.
432
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,658
Good night, George.
433
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,563
Night, Cor. Have good dreams.
434
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,098
You, too.
435
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,610
Hey, Mom?
436
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,168
Hey, Cor?
437
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,976
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.
438
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:26,246
I'm on the clock
for another half hour.
439
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,879
Um... well, earlier tonight...
440
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,821
Dad told me
Mr. Feeny was right.
441
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:34,189
And then later on,
Mr. Feeny told me Dad was right.
442
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,319
At least that's what
I think he was saying.
443
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,227
Sometimes I can't
hold my breathe long enough...
444
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,461
to get down to where
Mr. Feeny likes to swim.
445
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:44,633
Well, Cor,
sometimes two adults...
446
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,968
can think two different ways
about something...
447
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,633
and both can be right.
448
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:51,234
Then, how come I only think
one way about things...
449
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,608
and I'm always wrong?
450
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,704
Good night, Cory.
See you tomorrow.
451
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,078
What do you mean, tomorrow?
452
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:57,946
The Phillies
are still in Los Angeles.
453
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,541
What if there's
a no-hitter going?
454
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:01,576
What if the president
goes on the radio?
455
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,555
Whatever goes on
can wait till tomorrow.
456
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:05,887
How come?
457
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:09,361
Because your father
is always gonna be there...
458
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:12,023
in the morning
to tell you about it.
459
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,395
Good night, Dad.
460
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:15,024
Good night, son.
461
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,831
Am I still grounded?
462
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:20,338
We'll talk about it.
463
00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:24,570
Hey, talk I can get anywhere.
Hmm?
464
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:28,975
He won't be back tonight.
465
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,675
[MUSIC PLAYS]
466
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:36,354
[Theme music playing????????????????????????????????????????????????
467
00:22:36,404 --> 00:22:40,954
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