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1
00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:04,196
[MUSIC PLAYS]
2
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,409
Good morning,
Mr. Feeny.
3
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,469
Good morning,
Mr. Matthews.
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,845
A candy bar?
5
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,975
Doesn't your mother feed
you a proper breakfast?
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,177
Oh, yeah, she does.
7
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,776
And I got to get the taste
of this Shredded Wheat...
8
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:20,912
out of my mouth.
9
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,283
You know, you're not doing
your body any favors...
10
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,723
loading up on
junk like that.
11
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:26,885
Oh, thanks, Mr. Feeny.
12
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,122
And please enjoy that
high-vitamin astronaut drink...
13
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:30,629
you're sucking down.
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,500
There's no gravity
in space, Mr. Matthews.
15
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,003
Therefore,
astronauts suck up.
16
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,163
Learn from them.
17
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,011
He's a teacher, man.
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,512
Keep raggin' on him...
19
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,811
he's gonna make your whole
sixth-grade year miserable.
20
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,646
I'm gonna be
miserable anyhow.
21
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,017
At least this way,
I'm taking him with me.
22
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,113
Hey, who's that?
23
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,953
[NO AUDIO]
24
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,618
I think she's new.
25
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,958
She must be new.
She's talking to Feeny.
26
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,828
OK, so how late did you
stay up last night?
27
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,127
Monologue.
28
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:07,827
Monologue,
first guest.
29
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,859
Monologue, first
guest, bad sketch.
30
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,962
Monologue,
first guest, bad sketch...
31
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,597
funny zoo animal.
32
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,107
Monologue,
first guest...
33
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,110
bad sketch,
funny zoo animal...
34
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,611
Steve Lawrence.
35
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:19,669
Whoa!
36
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:20,873
Steve Lawrence!
37
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,939
[BELL RINGS]
38
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,280
And there's
the bell.
39
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,286
4 hours till lunch.
40
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,622
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
41
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,023
She's dead, Mr. Bornihay.
42
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,525
Pick up the knife...
43
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,220
and kill yourself.
44
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:44,094
Come on, Mr. Feeny...
45
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,224
you and I both know
she's not really dead.
46
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,427
May I please stab
her a few times...
47
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,800
just to make sure?
48
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,329
Hey, you touch me
with that knife...
49
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,467
you better kill me
the first time.
50
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,513
Mr. Feeny...
51
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,447
All right, all right.
52
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,108
Cory.
53
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,210
Huh?
54
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:07,345
What's the score?
55
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,014
Bottom of the third,
2 outs.
56
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,785
Dykstra's on second,
Kruk's on first...
57
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,121
3 and 2 to Daulton.
58
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,196
What's this,
Mr. Matthews?
59
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,359
Huh?
60
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:24,370
W-what did you
say, Mr. Feeny?
61
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,395
You took
my hearing aid.
62
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,536
Smoltz delivers,
Daulton swings.
63
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:31,976
Oh, he got
a piece of that one.
64
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,640
It's a long drive
deep to center.
65
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,548
Otis Nixon back,
back to the warning track...
66
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,314
climbs up the wall,
and...
67
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:42,651
ohh!
68
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,052
Mr. Matthews,
Romeo and JuLiet...
69
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,585
is Shakespeare's ultimate
testament of love...
70
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,324
between a man
and a woman.
71
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,059
BOY: HeLp! HeLp.
Mr. Feeny! HeLp!
72
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,159
Help! Help!
73
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,829
Miss Kincaid,
thank you.
74
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,337
Thank you...
75
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,395
for that, uh...
76
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:00,963
vigorous
interpretation.
77
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,471
Mr. Matthews, you do not
listen to the ballgame...
78
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,413
in the middle of my class.
79
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,939
Mr. Feeny, who cares
about some guy...
80
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,578
who killed himself
over some dumb girl?
81
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:17,056
The tragedy here,
Mr. Matthews...
82
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,682
is not about
a dumb girl...
83
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,592
or the boy who kills
himself because of her.
84
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,597
It's about the all-consuming
power of love...
85
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,099
and the inevitability
of its influence...
86
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,796
on each of our lives.
87
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,101
Are you aware that
I'm only 11 years old?
88
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,402
Are you aware that you have
detention Friday afternoon?
89
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,908
No, actually,
I did not know that.
90
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,619
You will?
91
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,093
OK, great.
92
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,288
Yeah, me, too.
93
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,320
All righty. oK.
94
00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,332
Bye.
95
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,890
Yes!
96
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,333
Yes!
97
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:03,631
Phillies won,
8-3.
98
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,864
I'm going out
with Heather Ralston!
99
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,065
You know what that means?
100
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,734
It means every guy in the
10th grade wants to be me.
101
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,675
It means if they
win Friday night...
102
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,007
they're in the playoffs.
103
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,706
Look, Cory, we got to
talk about something.
104
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,078
That makes the game
we're going to...
105
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,844
the most important
game of the year!
106
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,316
Look, Cory, my date
with Heather's Friday.
107
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,613
Now, look,
I got a slight case...
108
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:20,984
of detention from Feeny...
109
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:24,650
but I'll just meet
you at the bus. What?!
110
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,591
It's the only night
she was available.
111
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,423
You're not going
to the game?
112
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,258
That's terrible.
113
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,026
Actually, Cory, it, uh...
114
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,498
it gets worse.
115
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,831
She's going to
the game with us.
116
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,064
You're really close.
117
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,129
She and I are going
to the game?
118
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,505
Come on, Cory, it's
my first date with her.
119
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,339
It's really important
to me.
120
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,776
But, Eric, going to
the Phillies game's...
121
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,439
like our special thing.
122
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,447
Cory, I'm trying to get...
123
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,949
a special thing
going with Heather.
124
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,645
Now, look, you could
be happy for me...
125
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,153
and accept this
like a mature guy...
126
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,247
- or you can...
- Dad!
127
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,689
Overreact.
128
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,717
Dad!
129
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,284
Just the kid
I want to see.
130
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,297
Mom, we have
a major problem.
131
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,492
You have detention
with Mr. Feeny.
132
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,798
How could you
possibly know that?
133
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:12,430
He stuck his head over
the fence and told me...
134
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:13,803
while I was bringing in
the groceries.
135
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,468
I Want to move.
136
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,806
Why did you get
detention?
137
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,312
You know, you're missing
the bigger issue, Dad.
138
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:23,510
You bought a house
next to my teacher.
139
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,574
I Want to move.
140
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:25,915
I Want to move now.
141
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,579
Get the guy
with the gold jacket.
142
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,248
I'll be in the car.
143
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,779
Why did you get
detention?
144
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,384
Apparently, he'd rather
listen to the baseball game...
145
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,484
on the radio...
146
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,586
than try to understand
the emotional content...
147
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,097
of Romeo and JuLiet.
148
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,928
Mom, I'm a kid.
149
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,934
I don't understand
the emotional content...
150
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,230
of FuLL House.
151
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,329
I do.
152
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:48,705
CoRY: Besides, I don't know
why you're dumping on me.
153
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,903
I'm not the one who
sold out my only brother...
154
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,036
for some girl.
155
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,546
Eric,
she said yes!
156
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,139
- Yup.
- Congratulations!
157
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,240
You were in on this?
158
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,751
Come on, Cory, don't
you think you're making...
159
00:06:58,785 --> 00:06:59,843
a big deal about this game?
160
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,786
I don't care about
the game.
161
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,584
I don't care about
the tickets.
162
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:06,148
I wouldn't take them if
you offered them to me.
163
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:09,320
All right, look, I'll just
take Heather somewhere else.
164
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,454
Here, you want the tickets?
165
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,486
- Yeah!
- Get real!
166
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,021
Dad!
167
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,261
Cory, he paid for those
tickets with his own money.
168
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,360
He can take
whoever he likes.
169
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,802
But I earned
those tickets.
170
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:21,295
I slept with him
for 11 years!
171
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,968
Look, pal,
when you're older...
172
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,636
you'll understand
how your brother feels...
173
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,669
because girls will be
important to you, too.
174
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,341
Fine. My brother
betrays me...
175
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,373
my parents
take his side.
176
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:35,684
Fine. I don't have a
friend in this house.
177
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,121
Do you want me and Debbie...
178
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,387
to go to the baseball game
with you?
179
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,657
Hey, go to the game with
my sister and her doll. Great.
180
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,425
Maybe during
the seventh-inning stretch...
181
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,624
I could run through
the stadium...
182
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,725
in my old
Spider-Man underwear.
183
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,737
Well, you don't have to
dress up for me.
184
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:05,140
Well,
mine's got fuzz.
185
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,982
Mine's got lips.
186
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:09,915
Hey, bagman...
187
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,220
rough life being
an only child, huh?
188
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,226
Yeah. Rougher life
being an orphan...
189
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,785
which is what I am
as of last night.
190
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,888
What happened?
191
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:20,559
I dumped my family,
and my family dumped me.
192
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,124
It Was mutual.
193
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,898
They're keeping
the house.
194
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,838
Well, we're here
for you, Cory.
195
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,841
Thanks. You're
my new brothers.
196
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,072
Hey, how about we go
to the game Friday night?
197
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,909
I thought the game
was sold out.
198
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,505
It is. So we
go down early.
199
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,277
There's always guys
with extra tickets.
200
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,875
Don't you have
detention Friday?
201
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,283
Ah, don't worry
about detention.
202
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,878
I can handle Feeny.
Feeny loves me.
203
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,115
Feeny hates you.
204
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,557
Well, it's one of the two.
We'll see who's right.
205
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,796
Mr. Feeny,
may I sit down?
206
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,298
I'd rather you didn't.
207
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,732
Hates me.
208
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:01,873
Mr. Matthews, I spend
35 to 40 hours a week...
209
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,240
dealing with
the perceived problems...
210
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,802
of whiny little people
like yourself.
211
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:10,805
Now, this is my lunch period,
my respite from the fray.
212
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,045
I spend 4 hours
with you every morning...
213
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,179
and 3 hours with you
every afternoon.
214
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,883
Now, for God's sake,
get out of my face.
215
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,284
Evelyn.
216
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,294
George.
217
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,454
I saved a place
for you.
218
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,397
Oh, aren't you sweet?
[SIGH]
219
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,901
And who is this young man?
220
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:30,903
Uh, my name's
Cory Matthews.
221
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,404
Mr. Feeny's
my teacher.
222
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:33,667
He hates me.
223
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:37,870
Now, Cory, I'm sure that
Mr. Feeny doesn't hate you.
224
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,347
[DOG BARKS]
225
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:50,781
Oh, good.
Caught you home.
226
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:51,950
Housewarming gift.
227
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,151
Chocolate pie...
228
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,627
with a side of barbecued
chicken and corn on the cob.
229
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,754
Now, I would've
bought you a plant...
230
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,991
but, hey,
you're in a tree.
231
00:09:59,032 --> 00:09:59,999
Thanks, Mom.
232
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,500
Are you all right?
233
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,762
Of course I'm all right.
234
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,929
I've been in this tree house
a million times.
235
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,905
Never after dark.
236
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,168
Wa ha ha ha!
237
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,377
MORGAN: Cory!
238
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,404
I got to put a moat
around this place.
239
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,115
Do you want Debbie
to keep you company?
240
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,883
Why would I want your doll
to keep me company?
241
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,220
In case you get scared.
242
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,726
Morgan, I'm 11 years old.
I don't get scared.
243
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,557
And even
if I did get scared...
244
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,689
and had to defend myself,
my weapon of choice...
245
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:35,497
would not be a chick
with a plastic head.
246
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,095
Well, you don't
have to get so snippy.
247
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,504
Hey...
248
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,411
America's funniest
home teacher.
249
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,576
[TELEPHONE RINGS FAINTLY]
250
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,677
[NO AUDIO]
251
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,296
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
252
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,992
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
253
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,046
OK, mister, drop
my son's underwear.
254
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,177
Mom, it's me.
255
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,653
How do I know it's you?
256
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,656
Who else would want
my underwear?
257
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,090
Good point.
258
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,252
Now, don't get
your hopes up.
259
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,727
I'm not moving
back in or anything.
260
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,593
Oh, hey, I'm just here
straightening up the room...
261
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,792
for the boy
we rented it out to.
262
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,892
Well, I hope he's got
better luck with brothers...
263
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,732
than I did.
264
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,295
You still feeling
a little abandoned, Core?
265
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,171
Yeah, well,
life goes on.
266
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,176
Yeah, that's what
your dad said...
267
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,677
when it happened to him.
268
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,839
Why?
Who abandoned Dad?
269
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,074
You did.
270
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,640
I never did anything
like this to Dad.
271
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,844
Oh, when you were little...
272
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,682
you couldn't wait for your
dad to get home from work...
273
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,484
so you could throw the
football around with him.
274
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,012
I'll tell you something...
he looked forward to it...
275
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,115
as much as you did.
276
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,820
So how come we don't do
that so much anymore?
277
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,661
Well... you got
a little older...
278
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,723
and you had a bunch
of friends...
279
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,961
and you were
more interested...
280
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,663
in throwing the football
around with them.
281
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:51,761
Wait a minute.
282
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,669
It sounds like you're
saying I'm the bad guy.
283
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,674
No, honey,
there's no bad guy.
284
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,266
All I'm saying
is that it's natural...
285
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:02,111
that people grow up and
priorities change. oK?
286
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,309
- Mom.
- Hmm?
287
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,751
You were always cordial
to me when I lived here.
288
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,255
Thank you, Cory.
And I give you my word...
289
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,315
that the new boy
will never replace you...
290
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,620
in our hearts.
291
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:27,899
[SIGH]
292
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,601
You're not gonna
talk to me at all...
293
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,802
are you, Mr. Feeny?
294
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,745
Because I've been sitting in
this seat for 38 minutes...
295
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,215
and I've been
very good...
296
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,979
and I think you
should let me go.
297
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,647
Look, an
11-year-old boy...
298
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,987
cannot sit still
this long.
299
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:47,458
I'm going to get up.
300
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,221
I'm up.
301
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,865
I'm dancing.
302
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,803
I'm leaving.
303
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,578
My hand is
on the knob.
304
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,981
The door is open.
305
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,383
Fine.
306
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,953
I'm in the haLL!
307
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,693
Mr. Feeny,
this stinks.
308
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,397
It's supposed to
stink, Mr. Matthews.
309
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,834
It's detention.
You're being detained...
310
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,805
from whatever it is
you'd rather be doing.
311
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,171
Well, I think
it's a cruel...
312
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,574
and unusual
life-sucking torture.
313
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,241
You've captured
the essence.
314
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,181
Why do we have to stay
here? Just because...
315
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,514
I don't want to hear
about this love stuff?
316
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,678
Because I know it
only leads to no good...
317
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,086
and I know in your heart
you agree with me.
318
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,717
What brings you to that
conclusion, Mr. Matthews?
319
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,659
'Cause you and I had dinner
together last night.
320
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,559
Really? I wasn't aware.
321
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,063
I had chocolate pie...
322
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:01,589
and you had salad for
two all by yourself.
323
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,027
How did you know that?
324
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,539
'Cause I slept in my
tree house last night.
325
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,734
You know why? 'Cause
this love stuff...
326
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,710
has turned my whole
family against me.
327
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,870
And you're teaching us...
328
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,379
how it's worth
killing yourself for...
329
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,177
when I know you don't
really believe that...
330
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,547
do you?
331
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,573
Well...
332
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,519
You shrewd little observer
of the human condition.
333
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,624
How blissful
it must be for you...
334
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,865
to have lived so little...
335
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,925
and yet already reached
your conclusions...
336
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,869
about the greatest
wonder of the universe.
337
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,133
Y-you know what,
Mr. Feeny?
338
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,971
Keep the radio.
339
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,341
Shakespeare wrote
plays and sonnets.
340
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,778
The Greeks wrote
tragedies and comedies.
341
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,180
Robert Burns,
Emily Dickinson...
342
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:53,208
the Brownings examined
the depths of human emotions.
343
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,879
And do you know what
each one of these...
344
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,048
poets, playwrights,
and philosophers...
345
00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:00,081
had in common,
Mr. Matthews?
346
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,822
They all took
your class?
347
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:08,598
Every one of them
was older than 11.
348
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,599
You come
into my classroom...
349
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,902
at the beginning
of the year...
350
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,910
and at the end,
you go.
351
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,775
And I really
don't know...
352
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,609
if in the time
we spent together...
353
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,013
I have taught you
anything.
354
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,243
Well, this afternoon,
Mr. Matthews...
355
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,222
you are going to learn
something from me.
356
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,851
Do I have
your attention?
357
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,121
Yes, sir.
358
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:46,494
I live on the other side of
the fence from you, Cory...
359
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,336
and it's impossible
not to face...
360
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,239
in your direction
every once in a while...
361
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,837
and notice the people
in the next yard.
362
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,678
And through the years,
I've got to know them.
363
00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,550
It is apparent that they
are fine individuals...
364
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,952
but...
365
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:07,255
their real strength comes
from being a family.
366
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:12,586
And do you know why
they're a family, Cory?
367
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,099
Because at one time...
368
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:18,365
a man and a woman realized
that they loved each other...
369
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:22,135
and pursued
the unlimited potential...
370
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,699
of what may come
from that love.
371
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,535
And here you are.
372
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,810
There is
no greater aspiration...
373
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:37,755
than to have love
in our lives, Mr. Matthews.
374
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,759
Romeo knew it
and died for it.
375
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,193
Others know it and...
376
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,787
prepare salads.
377
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,933
And those
who don't know it...
378
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,027
will sit in detention...
379
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,561
for the rest
of their lives.
380
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,871
This particular detention
is over.
381
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:16,956
Do you want to have tea
with me?
382
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,554
No. Morgan...
383
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,463
I don't want anybody
to know I'm here, oK?
384
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,763
Oh, oK.
You're moving back in?
385
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,360
Yeah.
Don't tell anybody.
386
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,893
Oh, oK.
387
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,064
Cory's back!
388
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,199
No! Shh!
389
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,868
Hi, honey. I'm home.
390
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,640
Well, it's about time.
Dinner's on the table...
391
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,647
and the kids
have been animals.
392
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,478
Ha ha!
393
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,040
I know that you and Mom
will lose out...
394
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,552
on all
that rental income...
395
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,850
but I want
my old room back.
396
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,356
Well, that comes as quite
an economic blow...
397
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,359
but we'll try to get by.
398
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:50,885
Dad, I'm sorry I dumped
you for my friends.
399
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,659
When did you do that?
400
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,188
You know.
All the time.
401
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,225
Well, Cory, I'm glad
that you have friends...
402
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,736
and I'm glad you're back.
403
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,763
- No, don't hug me!
- No, don't hug me!
404
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,274
Die!
405
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,745
Die! Die!
406
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,680
Die! Die! Die!
407
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,413
You missed the puppy-looking
thing in the corner.
408
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,420
Die!
409
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:17,922
There's one We Won't
have to neuter.
410
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,586
5 to 3. Phillies
are in the playoffs.
411
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:22,821
Yeah, I heard.
412
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,830
What do you mean you heard?
You were there.
413
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,389
I really wasn't paying much
attention to the game, Cory.
414
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,230
Why not?
It was a great game.
415
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,566
It was not, however,
a great date.
416
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,265
You had a bad date?
417
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,273
No, I had a great date.
418
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,774
Heather Was beautiful.
419
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,505
She knew what to say,
she knew what to do.
420
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,810
Unfortunately, her date
spilled food...
421
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,316
tripped over chairs, and
had nothing interesting...
422
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,012
to say
for nine innings.
423
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,079
Eric, you're much too cool
for some girl.
424
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,488
News flash.
I'm not cool.
425
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,117
You don't know what
you're talking about.
426
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,754
OK, you're not cool.
And now you know better...
427
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,787
than to go to a game
without your brother.
428
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,196
You're right.
429
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:01,790
I am?
430
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,926
Yeah.
That's my first...
431
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,026
and last date
with Heather.
432
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,128
I never want to
see her again.
433
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,002
Good.
434
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,134
[EXPLOSIONS]
435
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:12,110
You don't mean that.
436
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,634
Yes, I do.
437
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,475
Here.
438
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,346
What's this?
439
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,351
Call her.
440
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:20,943
- Who?
- Who?!
441
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,113
Heather,
my nemesis!
442
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,146
- Call her.
- Why?
443
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,682
'Cause you're sitting there
drooling and pathetic...
444
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,560
and I know somewhere
inside's my cool brother...
445
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,791
and I'm not gonna get him back
unless you call her.
446
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,800
Look, I'm not
calling her.
447
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,267
I sat there all night
and didn't say anything.
448
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:37,633
What could I say now?
449
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,230
Take her to a movie.
450
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:43,503
There you're supposed to
sit and not say anything.
451
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,602
A movie's perfect for
your current skill level.
452
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,709
Why do you want me
to call her?
453
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,117
I'm told love is Worth it.
454
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,821
Aren't you going
to invite me...
455
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,229
to have tea with you?
456
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:16,203
Morgan, I want you
to know something.
457
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,800
No matter
how old I get...
458
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,435
I'm always gonna be
your big brother.
459
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:20,467
Sugar?
460
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,481
And even if I ever...
which I won't...
461
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:23,482
get interested
in girls...
462
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,574
Milk?
463
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,845
And it seems
like I don't care...
464
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:26,909
about you anymore...
465
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,579
Ketchup?
466
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,020
I still always
want you...
467
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:31,647
to invite me to
have tea with you.
468
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,749
Morgan, honey, put
your tea set away...
469
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:34,851
and brush your teeth.
470
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:36,361
It's time to go
to bed.
471
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,724
Do I have to?
472
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,995
You're asking me?
473
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,468
How about
if we just stay up...
474
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:45,993
and finish our tea?
475
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,632
You volunteering to
put your sister to bed?
476
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,232
Yeah, I guess I am.
477
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,470
Why?
478
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:52,875
'Cause I don't
understand anything...
479
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,039
about my entire life.
480
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:04,953
Yeah, thanks.
481
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:23,908
Two days in a row.
482
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,639
She just
doesn't learn.
483
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,613
Evelyn, I hope I'm
not being forward...
484
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,638
but instead
of cafeteria lunch...
485
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:34,050
maybe one evening we could
have dinner together?
486
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,611
Of course, George.
487
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:38,589
I'd love it.
488
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:39,613
Good.
489
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,762
I'm quite the cook,
you know?
490
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:44,763
Really?
491
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,265
Oh, yes. Just
the other night...
492
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,324
I prepared a lovely
salad nicoise...
493
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,233
for my sister,
but she, uh...
494
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:54,501
had to cancel at
the last moment.
495
00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:58,399
Confused,
Mr. Matthews?
496
00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,503
Yes, I am, sir.
497
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,774
As it should be????????????????????????????????????????????????
498
00:23:01,824 --> 00:23:06,374
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