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1
00:00:01,996 --> 00:00:04,117
Why do you want to take *?
2
00:00:04,203 --> 00:00:06,832
Well, I agreed to perform
in a musical requiem.
3
00:00:06,934 --> 00:00:11,005
I hope you don't think I'm a slut.
Josephine was sleeping with you immediately?
4
00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:12,905
I just want to know if
I can keep this up.
5
00:00:12,993 --> 00:00:15,184
Listen, I don't want us to stop.
6
00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:17,059
That's okay, baby.
7
00:00:17,153 --> 00:00:19,681
I'm not very available emotionally.
8
00:00:19,768 --> 00:00:22,339
And I have a long track
record of being let down.
9
00:00:22,415 --> 00:00:24,931
If anyone knows anything
about the Hudson sperm bank
10
00:00:25,023 --> 00:00:27,292
that went up in flames in
Fairmont, New Jersey,
11
00:00:27,371 --> 00:00:29,645
in 1981, please, help me.
12
00:00:30,684 --> 00:00:34,508
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
13
00:00:35,606 --> 00:00:38,608
( theme music playing )
14
00:00:39,945 --> 00:00:43,959
♪ All the shadowsin the city ♪
15
00:00:43,993 --> 00:00:48,175
♪ used to love you,what a pity ♪
16
00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:51,722
♪ I miss the questionsyou used to ask me ♪
17
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:55,837
♪ bored to death,cut, mad and lonely ♪
18
00:00:55,871 --> 00:00:59,679
♪ bored to death, cut,mad and lonely... ♪
19
00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:01,856
- ( Coughs )
- ♪ Bored to death ♪
20
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:04,462
♪ cut, mad and lonely. ♪
21
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,670
( Whistle blows )
22
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
23
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:27,122
( Music playing )♪ AM... ♪
24
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:29,562
♪ AM/FM shout! ♪
25
00:01:34,507 --> 00:01:37,245
♪ AM/FM ♪
26
00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:40,052
♪ the only friendshe's got left... ♪
27
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:43,091
( Music, engine stop )
28
00:01:58,557 --> 00:02:00,993
( Doorbell jingles )
29
00:02:04,568 --> 00:02:06,404
Is that your car?
30
00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:09,076
I don't like German cars.
I'm a survivor.
31
00:02:09,143 --> 00:02:11,146
It's a friend's car.
You're a holocaust survivor?
32
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,651
No, in general I'm a survivor.
33
00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:15,888
- I haven't had it easy.
- Right.
34
00:02:15,923 --> 00:02:19,060
Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
I'm a private detective.
35
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:22,901
Do you remember the sperm bank next
door that went up in flames in 1981?
36
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,037
That storefront
semen dealership?
37
00:02:25,072 --> 00:02:26,607
How could I forget it?
38
00:02:26,641 --> 00:02:28,877
My furs were smoky for months.
39
00:02:28,912 --> 00:02:30,747
Do you know what became of
the manager after the fire?
40
00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:33,452
He disappeared.
Had a gambling problem.
41
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,789
And terrible breath.
42
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,459
I always kept my distance.
43
00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:39,696
Hmm.
Next question.
44
00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:42,701
Do you recall a man who
may have looked just like me
45
00:02:42,735 --> 00:02:44,904
who made a deposit at the bank,
and if so, do you know his name?
46
00:02:44,938 --> 00:02:46,673
What, are you nuts?
47
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,577
( Elevator bell rings )
48
00:02:50,981 --> 00:02:53,985
- Patti?
- My sweet first love.
49
00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:57,056
Why are you wearing
a mink stole?
50
00:02:57,091 --> 00:02:59,927
It's for my mother.
Ts furrier I met gave me a big discount.
51
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:02,465
- But what are you doing here?
- We need your help.
52
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:05,102
Daddy, this is Jonathan.
53
00:03:05,136 --> 00:03:07,439
He's the private detective
I think you should hire.
54
00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:09,476
Henry Stevenson.
55
00:03:09,510 --> 00:03:12,780
- Strong grip.
- Thank you, I've been working on it.
56
00:03:12,815 --> 00:03:15,017
I'm really glad you guys
are finally meeting.
57
00:03:15,051 --> 00:03:17,821
I took Jonathan's virginity
at Princeton and he took mine.
58
00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:20,626
Yes, dear, I remember vividly
59
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,662
the letter you wrote about it.
60
00:03:22,696 --> 00:03:26,300
But it's good to put
a face to that story.
61
00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:28,971
Nice mink.
62
00:03:29,006 --> 00:03:30,240
Thank you.
63
00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:32,610
It makes me feel
very "Doctor Zhivago."
64
00:03:32,644 --> 00:03:35,614
How does the back feel, kiddo?
65
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,786
Not good. I was thinking about
going to a chiropractor.
66
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:40,688
Been saving up my money for it.
67
00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:43,292
Don't bother.
Those guys are quacks.
68
00:03:43,326 --> 00:03:45,896
Let me try a little
acupressure there.
69
00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:47,698
( Groans )
70
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:49,367
Okay okay, ow ow ow.
71
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:50,903
Okay, good good.
Ow ow.
72
00:03:50,937 --> 00:03:53,773
- Did that help?
- Yeah, a little.
73
00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:57,778
Can we play "looking for
the sunken treasure again"?
74
00:03:57,813 --> 00:03:59,746
Oh, you're naughty.
75
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,882
All right-- The divers
were looking
76
00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:07,485
for the treasure
of the Spanish galleon.
77
00:04:07,519 --> 00:04:11,455
Then one diver cried out,
78
00:04:11,489 --> 00:04:14,757
"I found two large pearls
79
00:04:14,791 --> 00:04:17,025
- and a bar of gold."
- ( Door opens )
80
00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:18,759
Leah: - Ray, I'm coming in.
- Oh God! Jeez!
81
00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,626
What the hell is going on?
82
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,728
I can explain. I was taking a
bath, the window was open--
83
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,930
We committed adultery!
84
00:04:25,964 --> 00:04:28,765
I used to be a good
woman but I weakened.
85
00:04:28,799 --> 00:04:30,967
Forgive me!
86
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:33,769
( Kissing )
Hail Mary, full of grace...
87
00:04:33,804 --> 00:04:36,507
Ray, who is this woman
88
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:40,044
and why did she say anything
about adultery?
89
00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:42,245
Did you know that Picasso
lived with two women?
90
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,848
Have you ever considered the
possibility of maybe having
91
00:04:44,883 --> 00:04:47,216
a more unconventional
relationship?
92
00:04:52,955 --> 00:04:54,589
- ( Horn honks )
- ( Yelps )
93
00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,692
( Laughing )
94
00:05:03,763 --> 00:05:06,164
To unexpected
10-year reunions.
95
00:05:06,199 --> 00:05:08,833
- Patti, you look great.
- So do you.
96
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:11,469
Your mole is bigger and cuter.
97
00:05:11,503 --> 00:05:14,638
- That's enough, Patti. You're getting married.
- To Josh?
98
00:05:14,672 --> 00:05:18,241
- Oh no, I haven't seen Josh in years.
- Who's Josh?
99
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,176
Oh, he's the boy I left
Jonathan for sophomore year.
100
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:23,078
The one who shot the
pornographic videos of you?
101
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:26,114
Yes. Anyway, Jonathan,
we're looking for someone
102
00:05:26,148 --> 00:05:28,282
to guard my wedding necklace
tonight and I thought of you.
103
00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:31,385
It's an old Philadelphia
family heirloom.
104
00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:33,720
It's worth $125,000.
105
00:05:33,755 --> 00:05:35,955
Well, jewel guarding
shouldn't be a problem.
106
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,391
I never lose my sunglasses.
107
00:05:39,926 --> 00:05:41,627
And most people do.
108
00:05:41,661 --> 00:05:44,296
Well...
109
00:05:44,331 --> 00:05:47,032
Patti tells me you were
on the Cavett show,
110
00:05:47,066 --> 00:05:48,767
so you must be good.
111
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,968
Come to the Sword &
Shield club tonight
112
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:54,205
during the rehearsal dinner
and we'll set you up there.
113
00:05:54,239 --> 00:05:56,907
Thank you for doing this.
114
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,676
( Whispers ) I haven't
forgotten our pact.
115
00:06:05,548 --> 00:06:07,749
Oh, George.
116
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:09,951
Come back.
Don't be upset.
117
00:06:09,985 --> 00:06:12,753
I still think
you're a wonderful lover.
118
00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:15,923
- You do?
- Of course.
119
00:06:15,957 --> 00:06:17,590
Oh.
120
00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:20,793
Well, that's a relief.
121
00:06:20,828 --> 00:06:23,062
I don't care if you
can't get an erection.
122
00:06:23,096 --> 00:06:24,763
No no.
123
00:06:24,798 --> 00:06:26,531
Don't say that.
No.
124
00:06:26,566 --> 00:06:29,934
I couldn't perform
because I have mental issues.
125
00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:33,170
Oh, Georgie, I'm sorry.
Tell me all about it.
126
00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:35,339
Well, to be frank,
127
00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:38,675
I'm worried about you
getting attached.
128
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:41,444
And that worry finds
its way down below,
129
00:06:41,479 --> 00:06:44,614
- if you know what I mean.
- But I am already attached.
130
00:06:44,648 --> 00:06:48,284
When I sleep with someone
five times, we're an item.
131
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:51,586
Yeah, but see, it was only four
times since I fell short today.
132
00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:53,255
Well, today counts.
133
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:56,024
I told you
that I'm not available.
134
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:01,629
( Whispers )
I don't believe you.
135
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:08,568
Oh!
136
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:11,037
Oh, I think I'm rallying.
137
00:07:11,071 --> 00:07:13,639
You are definitely rallying.
138
00:07:15,665 --> 00:07:20,845
- ( Doorbell buzzes )
- Oh, shit! Hold that thought.
139
00:07:26,851 --> 00:07:30,386
Leah broke up with me.
140
00:07:30,421 --> 00:07:32,789
She caught Belinda giving
me a bubble bath..
141
00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:36,558
Oh, so sorry, my dear boy.
142
00:07:38,328 --> 00:07:39,995
George, who are we hugging?
143
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:42,563
This is my friend Ray.
144
00:07:42,598 --> 00:07:45,399
George, is your
hip bone protruding?
145
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:47,634
Shh.
146
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,171
( Groans )
147
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,606
I had the restaurant
send up roast beef sandwiches.
148
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,576
It's always good in a crisis to
numb one's feelings with food.
149
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,111
I can't eat.
I'm inconsolable.
150
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,047
Oh, sorry, little buddy.
151
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,982
Would it console you
to hear my problems?
152
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:08,285
Schadenfreude is supposed
to be very healthy for you.
153
00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:11,621
It makes us feel like we're
gonna survive as others fail.
154
00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:13,923
Not in the mood
for "shocken-frau."
155
00:08:13,957 --> 00:08:15,958
I just hurt
two beautiful women.
156
00:08:15,992 --> 00:08:18,026
Would it make you feel better
to come with me on my case?
157
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:21,096
I have to guard the wedding necklace
of my sex-crazed college girlfriend.
158
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:24,031
- Can we smoke and drink?
- Um...
159
00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:26,834
I want to come.
Can we wear outfits?
160
00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:48,952
- Jonathan. - Patti, these are
my friends George and Ray.
161
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,920
They're helping me guard
your jewels tonight.
162
00:08:50,954 --> 00:08:54,123
Fun. A threesome.
I always loved your friends in college.
163
00:08:54,157 --> 00:08:56,124
Jonathan had friends
in college?
164
00:08:56,159 --> 00:08:59,294
Ahem. So your father's inside?
Should we go in?
165
00:08:59,328 --> 00:09:01,029
Do you mind if I have a
moment alone with Jonathan?
166
00:09:01,064 --> 00:09:03,064
- Oh course not. We'll be right inside.
- Yeah.
167
00:09:03,099 --> 00:09:05,900
She does seem
sex-crazed.
168
00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:08,769
Yes yes, very appealing.
169
00:09:08,803 --> 00:09:10,170
You don't remember
our pact, do you?
170
00:09:10,204 --> 00:09:12,772
I-- I don't
remember.
171
00:09:12,806 --> 00:09:15,774
We swore that wherever
our separate lives took us,
172
00:09:15,809 --> 00:09:18,410
before we got married,
you and I would meet again
173
00:09:18,444 --> 00:09:20,145
one last time and make love.
174
00:09:20,179 --> 00:09:23,514
- What? We really said that?
- Yes, it was very romantic.
175
00:09:23,548 --> 00:09:25,649
I can't believe
you don't remember.
176
00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:28,118
- Well...
- You still smoke a lot of pot?
177
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:30,053
Every day, but not a lot.
178
00:09:30,087 --> 00:09:32,622
Anyway, I'm getting
married tomorrow, so...
179
00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:38,225
I have OCD. When I make any kind of pact
I have to follow through!
180
00:09:38,427 --> 00:09:40,962
- What about your fiance?
- We're staying at separated hotels.
181
00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,763
And it's bad luck to see each other
the night before the wedding.
182
00:09:42,798 --> 00:09:45,633
Don't you think it's even worse
luck to sleep with an ex-boyfriend?
183
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,367
Just meet me
in the library at midnight.
184
00:09:47,402 --> 00:09:49,736
We'll discuss it more then.
I have to get back in.
185
00:09:50,905 --> 00:09:52,338
Patti!
186
00:09:55,609 --> 00:09:57,343
It's funny, my daughter
is also engaged,
187
00:09:57,377 --> 00:09:59,512
but it's a very
very dark affair.
188
00:09:59,546 --> 00:10:01,781
- Right.
Jonathan: - Mr. Stevenson, I'm sorry.
189
00:10:01,815 --> 00:10:04,517
I was outside with Patti
familiarizing myself
190
00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:06,319
with the perimeter.
191
00:10:06,353 --> 00:10:09,989
I am going to go and
mingle and drink a lot.
192
00:10:13,692 --> 00:10:17,395
Well, your friends were kind enough
to introduce themselves to me,
193
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:21,031
but I thought you'd be alone.
194
00:10:21,065 --> 00:10:24,200
Oh well, we often
work cases together.
195
00:10:24,234 --> 00:10:26,735
And why is it you're all
dressed as longshoremen?
196
00:10:26,769 --> 00:10:28,536
No no no, these are
guard outfits.
197
00:10:28,571 --> 00:10:30,537
We just picked them up
at J. Crew.
198
00:10:30,572 --> 00:10:32,439
My design actually.
If you'd let that out--
199
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,073
- Do not do that, please.
- All right.
200
00:10:34,108 --> 00:10:35,908
- George likes to play dress-up.
- Well...
201
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:38,710
But only in men's clothing,
which is positive.
202
00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:41,279
The jewels are in that case, Mr.
Stevenson?
203
00:10:41,313 --> 00:10:43,280
Yes.
204
00:10:45,717 --> 00:10:47,284
- ( Whistles )
- Ooh.
205
00:10:47,318 --> 00:10:50,954
We've set up a room
for you upstairs.
206
00:10:50,988 --> 00:10:53,755
We'll be back in the
morning for the ceremony.
207
00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:57,359
But may I have a word
with you in private?
208
00:10:57,394 --> 00:11:00,596
Your associates are odd.
209
00:11:03,132 --> 00:11:05,033
Are you sure
you're up for this?
210
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:07,535
I know they don't make
the best first impression,
211
00:11:07,569 --> 00:11:09,703
but everything will be fine.
212
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:12,638
We brought walkie-talkies.
We're total professionals.
213
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,140
Copy that.
214
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,610
I mean she's beautiful,
but I don't think I can do it.
215
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,845
I don't want to wreck her
marriage before she's married.
216
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,813
She must be having cold feet.
217
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,648
She claims it's OCD.
218
00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,316
I don't know why
she wants me again.
219
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,485
Just about every time we had sex
I had a premature ejaculation.
220
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:32,021
- You ever try a rubber band? That's what I do.
- No.
221
00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:35,490
Did you attend to her
orally to compensate?
222
00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,126
- Hello.
- No, I didn't know you could do that back then.
223
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,894
I was only a freshman.
224
00:11:39,962 --> 00:11:41,595
War!
225
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,497
Well, maybe she's doing this
226
00:11:43,531 --> 00:11:46,233
because she regrets
losing you all these years.
227
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:48,702
Why did it end with you two?
228
00:11:48,736 --> 00:11:50,603
She said I was self-absorbed
and emotionally unavailable.
229
00:11:50,638 --> 00:11:51,938
It's what every girl
has ever told me.
230
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,907
That's what Leah would say.
God, I miss her.
231
00:11:54,942 --> 00:11:58,844
I promised Josephine emotional
inadequacy right from the start.
232
00:11:58,878 --> 00:12:01,546
It's a low bar, but it's one
that I'm comfortable with.
233
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:04,015
Why aren't we
emotionally available?
234
00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:06,417
We are, just not to women.
235
00:12:06,451 --> 00:12:08,752
That's true.
236
00:12:08,786 --> 00:12:12,455
Well, better go meet her and
try and talk my way out of it.
237
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:14,157
- We're not done playing war.
- Come on, Ray.
238
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,458
You know that war never ends.
239
00:12:15,492 --> 00:12:17,593
But I'm ahead.
I have all the kings.
240
00:12:27,436 --> 00:12:29,736
Over here, lover.
241
00:12:34,941 --> 00:12:36,575
Patti...
242
00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:38,476
We can't do this.
243
00:12:38,511 --> 00:12:40,678
I-I-I know that
you're having cold feet,
244
00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:42,313
which is totally normal,
245
00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,381
but sleeping with me
is not the answer.
246
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:45,883
You're right
about the cold feet,
247
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:47,751
but sleeping with you will help
me decide if I should marry Gabe.
248
00:12:47,786 --> 00:12:49,452
You're saying "if" the
night before your wedding?
249
00:12:49,487 --> 00:12:51,587
- Yes, and I want to do this.
- But why me?
250
00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:53,155
- It's been so long.
- 'Cause of our pact.
251
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,057
And because if I
approached anyone else
252
00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:57,359
it would seem slutty and crazy.
253
00:12:57,393 --> 00:13:00,195
Not to be rude, but it seems a little
slutty and crazy to me.
254
00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:02,130
Jonathan, you took
my virginity.
255
00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:04,532
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
256
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:07,235
Of course it does.
257
00:13:11,038 --> 00:13:13,406
So if we did this,
I'd be helping you?
258
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,274
Yes.
259
00:13:18,912 --> 00:13:21,546
My future happiness
depends on you.
260
00:13:23,315 --> 00:13:25,716
( Growls )
261
00:13:28,753 --> 00:13:30,854
Why don't you read to me
what you have so far?
262
00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,222
Okay. It's just
a first draft.
263
00:13:32,256 --> 00:13:33,590
"Dear Leah,"
264
00:13:33,624 --> 00:13:35,325
I have something
called 'elder love.'
265
00:13:35,359 --> 00:13:37,593
that's why I fell for Belinda.
266
00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:41,062
"The benefit is that I will never
leave you as you get older."
267
00:13:41,096 --> 00:13:42,997
You know, I-- Sorry.
268
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,299
I'm not sure this is
the right approach.
269
00:13:46,634 --> 00:13:48,201
Okay, let me just--
270
00:13:48,235 --> 00:13:50,236
"So please take me back."
271
00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:53,272
Belinda's son took her to a
convent in the catskills.
272
00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:55,773
I will be a good man
from now on." All right?
273
00:13:55,808 --> 00:13:59,642
You know, there's a lot of
mention of Belinda in this note.
274
00:13:59,677 --> 00:14:02,978
Why-- why don't you
do a drawing?
275
00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:04,646
I mean, that's where
your strength lies.
276
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,681
A drawing's not gonna work.
277
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:10,217
I had the most beautiful girl in the
world and I just wrecked everything.
278
00:14:10,252 --> 00:14:12,886
Sorry, Ray.
279
00:14:12,921 --> 00:14:14,420
What am I gonna do?
280
00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:16,989
I'm broke, I'm homeless,
I'm unlovable.
281
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,325
That is not true.
You are not unlovable.
282
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,495
And you're--
you're not homeless either.
283
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,498
You can stay with me
as long as you need to.
284
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,234
Can I eat in
the restaurant for free?
285
00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:31,771
Of course.
286
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:34,273
I'm lucky to have you
as a friend.
287
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,776
Thank you.
288
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,078
Is this-- Is this what
you called "elder love"?
289
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:42,347
You're sick.
290
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,949
Don't talk to me like that again.
Do you understand me?
291
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:53,691
( Moans )
292
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:55,758
Mm-Mmm.
Nope.
293
00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:57,726
Patti, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
294
00:14:57,761 --> 00:15:00,361
I've never had
this problem before.
295
00:15:00,396 --> 00:15:03,030
But the briefcase
is throwing me off.
296
00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:06,900
- Don't blame the briefcase. You can do this.
- I know, but--
297
00:15:06,935 --> 00:15:08,902
My friend George was talking
about impotence earlier
298
00:15:08,937 --> 00:15:10,437
and he passed it along
to me mentally.
299
00:15:10,472 --> 00:15:13,140
- You know, like auto-suggestion.
- Shut up and try again.
300
00:15:13,174 --> 00:15:15,809
But I feel conflicted
and I've had a long day.
301
00:15:15,843 --> 00:15:18,677
I haven't had a chance to tell
you, but somewhat related,
302
00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:20,912
I come from a sperm donor.
303
00:15:20,947 --> 00:15:24,249
- I'm trying to find my father.
- What?
304
00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:26,751
( Over walkie-talkie ) Jonathan, come in.
It's George.
305
00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:30,088
Sorry to interrupt,but the lights
have gone outand Ray is scared.
306
00:15:30,122 --> 00:15:31,656
Ray: - Don't say that.
- Sorry.
307
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,557
It's an old house.
A fuse must have blown.
308
00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:35,525
Got to find the circuit breaker.
Over.
309
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,060
Yeah, he thinks
it's a circuit breaker.
310
00:15:37,094 --> 00:15:38,494
George, I'm standing
right here.
311
00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:40,830
It's not like you're having
a private conversation.
312
00:15:40,864 --> 00:15:44,199
I'll tell you what-- We'll go
find the circuit breaker. Over.
313
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,967
Oh hey,
314
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:48,369
are you having sex with
Patti or did you resist?
315
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:50,004
Sorry.
Ahem.
316
00:15:50,038 --> 00:15:52,539
Just find the fuse, we'll make
our way back to the base.
317
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:54,874
- Over.
- Copy that.
318
00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:56,409
I don't thinkthey're having sex.
319
00:15:56,443 --> 00:16:00,145
Ray: George, take your
fingeroff the button.
320
00:16:10,055 --> 00:16:11,688
Wow.
321
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:15,391
Lions, tigers and bears.
322
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:17,326
Oh my.
323
00:16:17,361 --> 00:16:19,662
Okay, here we go.
324
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,330
All right.
325
00:16:22,364 --> 00:16:25,666
This looks like a fuse box
of some kind.
326
00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:30,571
Oh dear.
327
00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:32,072
I'm sorry I let you down.
328
00:16:32,107 --> 00:16:34,041
There's still time.
We can try again.
329
00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:36,943
- But I can't--
- ( Both scream )
330
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,580
( Grunts )
331
00:16:41,615 --> 00:16:43,549
Come on, let's get out of here.
332
00:16:45,185 --> 00:16:47,619
( Circuit pops )
333
00:16:48,487 --> 00:16:51,222
- Ray.
- Sorry.
334
00:16:51,256 --> 00:16:53,057
Whoa whoa whoa.
335
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:55,459
You go, I'll hold him off. Go!
336
00:16:57,795 --> 00:16:59,962
- Stay back!
- ( Whips )
337
00:17:01,865 --> 00:17:04,900
Shit.
I must warn you,
338
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:07,235
I fenced at Princeton.
339
00:17:12,107 --> 00:17:14,008
- ( Groans )
- Oh my God.
340
00:17:14,042 --> 00:17:16,810
I'm so sorry. That never happened
to me in competitive fencing.
341
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:19,312
Wait!
Sorry.
342
00:17:19,346 --> 00:17:21,480
Don't--
( Screams )
343
00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:30,956
Jonathan, we found the circuit breaker.
Who are you playing with?
344
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:32,725
What?
345
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,893
No!
346
00:17:43,635 --> 00:17:46,337
- Stay back, asshole.
- George!
347
00:17:46,371 --> 00:17:48,272
All right.
There, huh?
348
00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:51,241
Okay, yeah. Jonathan, look at me.
Look at me.
349
00:17:53,945 --> 00:17:55,412
- Ooh, jeez.
- ( Patti gasps )
350
00:17:57,147 --> 00:17:59,982
George: - It's stuck.
Jonathan: - Come on!
351
00:18:00,016 --> 00:18:02,151
Help, someone.
Wait wait!
352
00:18:11,126 --> 00:18:13,527
Shit.
353
00:18:13,561 --> 00:18:15,562
A black man can't catch
a cab in this town,
354
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:19,031
but a guy with a sword,
no problem.
355
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,766
( Car horn honks )
356
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,204
( Elevator bell rings )
357
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,375
Your dad is gonna kill me.
358
00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:34,177
I'll tell him you tried your
best, that you were very brave.
359
00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:36,046
You still have his briefcase.
That's something.
360
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,515
Yeah, you know what? I think we shouldn't
talk about the marijuana and the beer.
361
00:18:39,549 --> 00:18:41,984
I think that would not
be a good idea.
362
00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:43,952
( Doorbell rings )
363
00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:46,988
- I'm just saying we should look--
- Stop.
364
00:18:47,022 --> 00:18:49,256
Jonathan?
365
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,091
Patti...?
366
00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:52,358
What's going on?
367
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:53,993
We need to talk.
Can we come in?
368
00:18:54,027 --> 00:18:57,329
Your mother is sleeping,
so if you keep it down.
369
00:18:57,363 --> 00:18:59,597
I hope it's nothing serious.
370
00:18:59,632 --> 00:19:01,832
Your briefcase is fine.
Don't worry.
371
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:11,674
How on Earth
could this possibly happen?
372
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:15,277
Well, um, he was a very
sophisticated burglar.
373
00:19:15,312 --> 00:19:17,045
He turned the lights off
and everything.
374
00:19:17,113 --> 00:19:21,315
- And he was wearing a mask.
- With holes in it.
375
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:23,550
Jonathan was very heroic.
He tried to stop him.
376
00:19:23,585 --> 00:19:25,986
But I'm really sorry
I failed you, Mr. Stevenson.
377
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:28,254
No no, sorry doesn't cut it.
378
00:19:28,288 --> 00:19:32,357
That necklace has been in
our family for 150 years.
379
00:19:32,392 --> 00:19:36,361
Now I'm gonna have to call the
police, my insurance company.
380
00:19:36,428 --> 00:19:39,597
Excuse me, but I think
you have a red pen
381
00:19:39,631 --> 00:19:41,499
leaking ink in your robe.
382
00:19:41,533 --> 00:19:43,367
What?
383
00:19:45,303 --> 00:19:47,304
Oh, this?
384
00:19:48,406 --> 00:19:50,006
I cut myself shaving.
385
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,774
Really?
That happened to me.
386
00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:54,843
I was shaving my side belly hair so I
could wear a girdle and I nicked myself.
387
00:19:54,878 --> 00:19:57,145
And that's what happened
to you, Mr. Stevenson?
388
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,981
- You were shaving your side belly hairs?
- I, uh...
389
00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:03,050
Or did somebody shave you with
his saber in that exact spot?
390
00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:05,119
- J'accuse!
- Uh...
391
00:20:05,153 --> 00:20:08,621
Oh my God.
Daddy, why?
392
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:11,224
For you, sweetheart.
393
00:20:11,258 --> 00:20:12,892
For the insurance money.
394
00:20:12,926 --> 00:20:15,427
It's the only way
I can afford the wedding.
395
00:20:15,461 --> 00:20:17,762
Once you introduced me
to Jonathan
396
00:20:17,797 --> 00:20:19,430
I knew I could pull it off.
397
00:20:19,465 --> 00:20:21,432
Mm-hmm.
Hmm?
398
00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:24,101
- But we have lots of money.
- We don't.
399
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,437
Not until
your grandmother passes.
400
00:20:27,471 --> 00:20:30,906
Everyone in Philadelphia is
waiting for someone to die.
401
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:34,176
It's what we live for.
402
00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:37,078
- What an honorable man.
- Honorable?
403
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:39,247
He hired me to fail,
tried to kill me
404
00:20:39,282 --> 00:20:40,815
and he's committing
insurance fraud.
405
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:42,484
Exactly, all for his daughter.
406
00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,419
I mean the man's
a role model for me.
407
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:46,888
I wonder what I could
steal for Emily.
408
00:20:46,923 --> 00:20:49,658
For Patti's sake I'm willing to turn
a blind eye and not report him,
409
00:20:49,693 --> 00:20:51,493
but it goes against
everything I stand for.
410
00:20:51,528 --> 00:20:54,797
- Such as?
- I don't know, something.
411
00:20:55,832 --> 00:20:58,167
- ( Sighs )
- Jonathan, wait.
412
00:20:58,201 --> 00:21:00,736
You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.
413
00:21:03,507 --> 00:21:05,274
Thank you for everything.
414
00:21:05,309 --> 00:21:08,710
You're welcome, but how do you know
I'm not gonna turn your dad in?
415
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:11,279
I'm thanking you for the pact.
It worked.
416
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,714
But I couldn't, you know...
417
00:21:13,748 --> 00:21:16,483
- Perform.
- No, it's all right.
418
00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:19,819
Your impotence made me realize
how much I want to marry Gabe.
419
00:21:19,853 --> 00:21:21,719
What?
420
00:21:21,754 --> 00:21:23,888
- ( Moans )
- ( Phone rings )
421
00:21:25,657 --> 00:21:28,558
Just hold on one second.
422
00:21:28,593 --> 00:21:30,593
I want to talk to
you about this.
423
00:21:30,627 --> 00:21:32,494
- Hello?
Woman: - Jonathan Ames?
424
00:21:32,529 --> 00:21:35,263
- Yes?
- I saw you on"The Dick Cavett Show."
425
00:21:35,298 --> 00:21:38,799
I have informationabout your biological father.
426
00:21:38,833 --> 00:21:40,600
I'm gonna have to take this.
427
00:21:44,438 --> 00:21:46,838
Go ahead.
I'm listening.
428
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,139
( Faint buzzing )
429
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,041
- George?
- Mm-hmm.
430
00:21:52,076 --> 00:21:54,009
I have an itch just below
my left shoulder blade.
431
00:21:54,044 --> 00:21:56,111
Can you scratch it for me?
It's driving me nuts.
432
00:21:56,145 --> 00:21:58,979
I think it's a new back
hair trying to pop out.
433
00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:01,048
That's why it's so itchy.
434
00:22:04,653 --> 00:22:06,387
( Faint buzzing )
435
00:22:06,421 --> 00:22:07,955
Is that better, little buddy?
436
00:22:07,990 --> 00:22:09,924
I know you've had
a pretty rough day.
437
00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,192
A little harder
and to the left.
438
00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:15,861
Aw yeah.
439
00:22:15,896 --> 00:22:17,696
That's it right there.
440
00:22:17,764 --> 00:22:20,932
Okay, now to the right.
441
00:22:22,567 --> 00:22:24,567
To the right.
442
00:22:24,601 --> 00:22:26,902
Go to the right.
443
00:22:26,936 --> 00:22:29,937
( Snapping )
To the right, George!
444
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:34,140
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
445
00:22:34,174 --> 00:22:38,043
♪ when I stumble into bedanother Saturday night ♪
446
00:22:38,077 --> 00:22:41,879
♪ all the voices in my headand all the people I meet ♪
447
00:22:41,914 --> 00:22:45,749
♪ they're all trying so hardto make a man out of me ♪
448
00:22:45,784 --> 00:22:49,152
♪ but there'salways gonna be ♪
449
00:22:49,187 --> 00:22:53,489
♪ this little boyinside of me ♪
450
00:22:53,523 --> 00:22:56,458
♪ and there'salways gonna be ♪
451
00:22:56,492 --> 00:23:01,096
♪ this little girlinside of me ♪
452
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,098
♪ 'cause there's alwaysgonna be ♪
453
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:08,402
♪ this little boyinside of me ♪
454
00:23:08,436 --> 00:23:11,772
♪ and there'salways gonna be ♪
455
00:23:11,806 --> 00:23:16,375
♪ this little girlinside of me. ♪
456
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,093
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457
00:23:20,143 --> 00:23:24,693
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