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1
00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:14,724
All the shadows in the city
2
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:18,436
Used to love you,
what a pity
3
00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:22,482
I miss the questions
you used to ask me
4
00:00:22,649 --> 00:00:26,570
Bored to death,
cut, mad and lonely
5
00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:30,532
Bored to death, cut,
mad and lonely...
6
00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:32,534
Bored to death
7
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:35,037
Cut, mad and lonely.
8
00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:57,936
- Ah!
- I'm gonna kill you!
9
00:00:58,103 --> 00:00:59,145
Fuck!
10
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:12,117
Hi. Your husband is definitely cheating on you
with an artist in DUMBO
11
00:01:12,284 --> 00:01:14,328
who hasn't been pushed out
by gentrification.
12
00:01:14,495 --> 00:01:17,123
I got to go.
Your husband's a really fast runner!
13
00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:19,291
Hey! Hey, don't you move,
you son of a--
14
00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:38,311
Okay, so here
15
00:01:38,478 --> 00:01:40,647
One, it's difficult',
16
00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:44,067
Two, there will always be
more rejection than acceptance',
17
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:48,238
And three, try to give pleasure
with every sentence.
18
00:01:48,405 --> 00:01:51,784
But it's easy for you to say there will always be
more rejection than acceptance.
19
00:01:51,950 --> 00:01:53,827
You're a published writer.
You've already made it.
20
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,829
Well, actually,
21
00:01:55,996 --> 00:01:57,581
my second novel was just rejected.
22
00:01:57,748 --> 00:02:01,502
I have to pay back my advance
to my publisher.
23
00:02:02,712 --> 00:02:05,381
It's pretty demoralizing.
24
00:02:05,548 --> 00:02:07,341
For what it's worth,
I read your first book.
25
00:02:07,508 --> 00:02:10,303
I'm not Jewish, but I liked it.
26
00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,847
Oh. Well, thank you.
27
00:02:13,014 --> 00:02:15,058
And-- well, has anyone else read
28
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:17,268
"I Pass Like Night," my first novel?
29
00:02:20,355 --> 00:02:23,483
Well, um, okay.
Why don't we go around the class?
30
00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:26,403
Each of you can briefly describe
what you plan to write about.
31
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:29,031
So we'll start with you.
Hi.
32
00:02:30,157 --> 00:02:32,493
I want to write a book
like Zadie Smith,
33
00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:37,289
something that talks about
how hard and weird it is to be alive
34
00:02:37,456 --> 00:02:40,543
even if you're middle class
and your parents were pretty loving.
35
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:44,422
It might also be about bulimia
and anorexia.
36
00:02:44,589 --> 00:02:46,924
- I'd read that book.
- Thank you.
37
00:02:48,426 --> 00:02:50,011
I want to write a novel
38
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:54,099
about a man who's either
a bicycle courier or a spastic wizard.
39
00:02:54,265 --> 00:02:56,059
Or a spastic courier.
I haven't decided.
40
00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:58,853
Making the guy a spastic wizard
sounds better to me.
41
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:00,772
- That's my two cents.
- Okay.
42
00:03:00,939 --> 00:03:03,066
That's what I'll do.
Thank you.
43
00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:05,444
- Great.
- If he's spastic,
44
00:03:05,611 --> 00:03:08,197
he can always be dropping his wand.
That's funny.
45
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:11,617
Please don't tell me how to write my story.
Thank you.
46
00:03:11,784 --> 00:03:13,410
Wait. Wait!
47
00:03:17,832 --> 00:03:20,793
My turn?
48
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,593
- Hey, Ray.
- Hi.
49
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,471
- Good night, Professor Ames.
- Good night, Bob.
50
00:03:32,931 --> 00:03:35,767
- "Professor Ames"? Is that guy nuts?
- Maybe.
51
00:03:35,934 --> 00:03:38,353
All of my students
are in a lot of mental pain.
52
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,647
- That's night classes for you.
- Night.
53
00:03:40,814 --> 00:03:43,984
Night, Nina.
54
00:03:44,151 --> 00:03:46,403
Hello, Nabokov.
55
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,991
Jonathan, to your first class.
56
00:03:53,619 --> 00:03:55,996
Oh, come on.
Don't be so down in the mouth.
57
00:03:56,163 --> 00:03:58,791
- I think it's great that you're teaching.
- I just think it's sad
58
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:01,168
that all my students
have this dream of writing a book.
59
00:04:01,335 --> 00:04:03,421
Didn't you tell 'em
nobody's reading anymore?
60
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:06,674
Even I'm not reading.
I got a Kindle, but I dropped it in the tub.
61
00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:09,719
That's Leah.
62
00:04:09,886 --> 00:04:11,763
She knows I'm at a bar.
63
00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,015
She put my phone
on her GPS tracking system.
64
00:04:19,354 --> 00:04:20,730
GPS.
65
00:04:20,897 --> 00:04:23,150
I don't know, George.
If I didn't need the money,
66
00:04:23,316 --> 00:04:25,027
I don't think I'd be
teaching this workshop.
67
00:04:25,193 --> 00:04:27,779
I am sorry about
the money situation, Jonathan.
68
00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:29,907
I don't know how much work
I can give you.
69
00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:32,368
The new publisher and the board
are showing up tomorrow.
70
00:04:32,534 --> 00:04:34,119
I may have to cut
even more pages.
71
00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:37,123
George, do you think
I'm washed up at 30?
72
00:04:37,289 --> 00:04:39,208
No. You're too young
to be washed up.
73
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:41,419
You might still be growing.
74
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,880
But I have no skills
for the world.
75
00:04:44,046 --> 00:04:46,716
At this rate I might have to
move back in with my parents.
76
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:49,677
Listen, a little failure
is good for you.
77
00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:51,763
It'll give your face some texture.
78
00:04:51,930 --> 00:04:55,058
Also, you and I'll be
on the same schedule.
79
00:04:55,225 --> 00:04:58,186
- What do you mean?
- You fail in your 30s, succeed in your 40s.
80
00:04:58,353 --> 00:05:00,981
Have a little bit
of a dark period in your 50s
81
00:05:01,148 --> 00:05:02,858
and then flourish again
in your 60s.
82
00:05:03,024 --> 00:05:05,902
But I don't want to fail
my whole 30s.
83
00:05:06,069 --> 00:05:09,198
Jonathan, it takes time
for a man to find his form.
84
00:05:09,364 --> 00:05:12,951
Leah. She doesn't want me
to drink too much.
85
00:05:13,118 --> 00:05:14,870
We have our first
yoga class tomorrow.
86
00:05:15,037 --> 00:05:17,206
- Oh.
- I have to leave soon anyways.
87
00:05:17,373 --> 00:05:19,083
I've got to meet a client
at midnight.
88
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:22,211
- I didn't know you liked yoga.
- I don't.
89
00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:25,047
But Leah wants us to do
more things together.
90
00:05:25,214 --> 00:05:28,468
We're also taking
a sign language class.
91
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:30,887
Yoga sounds good.
92
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:33,640
Don't be ridiculous.
I'll probably hurt myself.
93
00:05:33,807 --> 00:05:35,308
The only New Age thing
I want to do
94
00:05:35,475 --> 00:05:38,353
is stick an aromatherapy
candle up my ass.
95
00:05:39,855 --> 00:05:42,441
Aren't those candles very wide?
96
00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:45,569
I was joking, George.
I don't want to do that.
97
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,279
Oh. Oh, oh.
98
00:05:47,446 --> 00:05:49,323
I thought you were
being serious.
99
00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:51,408
Because I had
a girlfriend in the '70s
100
00:05:51,575 --> 00:05:54,578
who tried to stimulate me
once with a Shabbat candle,
101
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:58,124
you know, down there,
but I was too uptight.
102
00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:01,294
- My mom used to light Shabbat candles--
- Jeez!
103
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:02,753
What happened?
You all right?
104
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,006
Oh, Jeez, I just had
the most awful pain.
105
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,758
In your chest?
Do you have an aspirin?
106
00:06:06,924 --> 00:06:09,218
It's very important to take an aspirin
after a heart attack.
107
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:12,305
I didn't have a heart attack.
It was in my penis.
108
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,350
I mean, it was like
a phantom lightning bolt.
109
00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:17,602
I've never felt anything
like that before.
110
00:06:17,769 --> 00:06:20,689
Well, that's terrible.
That could be an aneurism in your penis.
111
00:06:20,856 --> 00:06:23,108
- No, don't say--
- You need to go see a urologist, George.
112
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,110
- Jeffrey.
- Yes, Mr. Christopher?
113
00:06:25,277 --> 00:06:28,614
Another one, please.
It's an emergency.
114
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:31,742
- Medical.
- Oh.
115
00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:01,231
Jonathan Ames?
116
00:07:02,649 --> 00:07:03,650
Yes.
117
00:07:03,817 --> 00:07:05,319
It's good to meet you.
118
00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:07,738
Thank you so much
for coming.
119
00:07:10,199 --> 00:07:13,410
- You wanna meet Doris?
- Sure.
120
00:07:14,787 --> 00:07:16,664
Come on, girl.
Here she is.
121
00:07:16,831 --> 00:07:18,541
Hello, Doris.
122
00:07:21,669 --> 00:07:23,212
She's my favorite.
123
00:07:25,006 --> 00:07:26,799
So how can I help you,
Officer Drake?
124
00:07:28,509 --> 00:07:30,511
I got a real situation.
125
00:07:31,846 --> 00:07:33,515
You ever destroy a hard drive?
126
00:07:33,681 --> 00:07:35,725
Yeah, I was playing
internet backgammon
127
00:07:35,892 --> 00:07:38,019
and I got a really bad
virus on my laptop.
128
00:07:38,186 --> 00:07:41,565
No, I mean someone else's hard drive--
I need you to destroy it.
129
00:07:41,731 --> 00:07:43,692
Whose hard drive is it?
130
00:07:43,859 --> 00:07:45,235
It's embarrassing.
131
00:07:46,904 --> 00:07:48,780
You see,
a couple years ago
132
00:07:48,947 --> 00:07:52,451
I started going to this dungeon--
you know, S&M.
133
00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:56,372
And I need to clear my name
off of their computer.
134
00:07:56,539 --> 00:07:58,791
- Why do you need to clear your name?
- It turns out the damn place
135
00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:01,502
has been laundering drug money
and now it's gonna be raided.
136
00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:03,713
- I see.
- My career as a mounted police officer
137
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,048
is at stake--
my marriage, everything.
138
00:08:06,215 --> 00:08:09,302
I coach my daughter's
soccer team in Maspeth.
139
00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:11,721
I can't be exposed
for who I am.
140
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:14,474
I understand.
We all need our secrets.
141
00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:18,186
Thank you.
142
00:08:21,231 --> 00:08:23,400
I know I just said
we all need our secrets,
143
00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:26,904
but if you don't mind me asking,
what do you like to do at the dungeon?
144
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,740
I'm sort of a student
of human sexuality.
145
00:08:29,907 --> 00:08:32,409
Well...
146
00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:34,745
you ever hear
of forced feminization?
147
00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:37,081
- Yes.
- Yeah? Well, that's what I got.
148
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:41,460
When I was eight years old,
my older sister and a couple of her friends,
149
00:08:41,627 --> 00:08:43,504
they dressed me up
in a Girl Scout uniform--
150
00:08:43,671 --> 00:08:46,257
you know, the little skirt,
panties, lipstick--
151
00:08:46,424 --> 00:08:47,467
the whole nine yards.
152
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,761
They said that I was
a pretty little girl
153
00:08:49,928 --> 00:08:53,223
and it-- you know,
it did something to me.
154
00:08:53,389 --> 00:08:56,726
You know, I tried on
my mother's panties when I was 15
155
00:08:56,893 --> 00:08:59,521
and I liked it,
but it didn't stick.
156
00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:01,398
I just did it the one time.
157
00:09:01,565 --> 00:09:03,734
Well, you're lucky,
'cause with me, it stuck.
158
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,611
I mean, I have to do it
once a month or so.
159
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:07,779
- It's like I'm ovulating.
- Hmm.
160
00:09:07,946 --> 00:09:10,282
Don't get me wrong.
I love it, but...
161
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,660
it also suffocates me.
162
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:15,162
It presses down on me.
163
00:09:15,329 --> 00:09:17,790
That's kind of like what Ahab said
about Moby Dick--
164
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,792
"He heaps me."
165
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,087
Yeah, right.
166
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:26,799
I don't mean to impose,
167
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,885
but could I sit on Doris?
168
00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:31,179
I've actually never been on a horse.
I'm Jewish.
169
00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:32,597
Absolutely.
Come on.
170
00:09:34,265 --> 00:09:37,602
You know, you do this for me
and I'm gonna quit once and for all.
171
00:09:37,769 --> 00:09:39,354
You know, this whole thing,
it's like a sign.
172
00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:41,731
It's my chance to start over.
173
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,609
Yeah.
174
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,989
Tomorrow that hard drive
will be destroyed.
175
00:09:55,788 --> 00:09:58,457
Thank you.
176
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,670
Oh, your nose
rubs against me
177
00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:05,465
in this really great way.
178
00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,800
Ah, that's good.
179
00:10:10,428 --> 00:10:13,807
You know, Stella,
you're the best thing in my life.
180
00:10:13,973 --> 00:10:15,934
No, I'm not.
181
00:10:16,101 --> 00:10:18,687
You are. If I didn't have you,
I wouldn't have anything.
182
00:10:18,853 --> 00:10:20,689
You have a lot.
183
00:10:20,856 --> 00:10:24,234
You have--
well, you're teaching now.
184
00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:26,862
It's night school.
185
00:10:27,029 --> 00:10:29,823
You also help people
as a private detective.
186
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,867
Unlicensed.
187
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:33,118
You could get a license.
188
00:10:33,285 --> 00:10:34,870
No, I already looked into it.
189
00:10:35,037 --> 00:10:37,164
There is a lot
of paperwork involved.
190
00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:41,752
And you have to be
a retired policeman or soldier.
191
00:10:41,919 --> 00:10:43,546
I've never even worn a uniform.
192
00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:46,382
As a child, I was too nervous
to join the Boy Scouts.
193
00:10:46,549 --> 00:10:48,968
Oh.
194
00:10:50,386 --> 00:10:52,055
Okay.
195
00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:53,765
I am the best thing
in your life.
196
00:10:53,932 --> 00:10:55,725
I told you.
197
00:11:03,608 --> 00:11:05,736
You're not even trying.
198
00:11:05,902 --> 00:11:07,779
I am. I'm meditating.
199
00:11:07,946 --> 00:11:10,073
You said meditation
is part of this.
200
00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:13,994
It comes
at the end of class.
201
00:11:14,161 --> 00:11:16,038
I skipped ahead.
I'm a fast learner.
202
00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:29,302
Hey.
Isn't Mecca that way?
203
00:11:31,512 --> 00:11:33,807
No, I get it, I get it.
We're cutting pages.
204
00:11:33,973 --> 00:11:37,686
But I know that I can still put out
a quality magazine.
205
00:11:37,852 --> 00:11:40,939
Well, it's gonna be more
than just cutting a few pages, George.
206
00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,108
Every belt needs to be tightened.
207
00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:45,485
No more lunches
at the Four Seasons.
208
00:11:45,652 --> 00:11:47,279
What?
Oh, no no.
209
00:11:47,446 --> 00:11:49,573
I've had a table in the Grill Room
for 20 years.
210
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,535
It's where I had lunch with Saul Bellow,
with Jackie O.
211
00:11:53,702 --> 00:11:56,455
And no more things
like "Oranjinah."
212
00:11:57,665 --> 00:11:59,583
This is the way I saved
"The Dallas Monthly"
213
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,168
and "The Salt Lake City Weekly."
214
00:12:01,335 --> 00:12:03,588
Well, that's great.
Those are wonderful magazines,
215
00:12:03,754 --> 00:12:05,798
but I need to be able
to take people out to lunch.
216
00:12:05,965 --> 00:12:07,800
- Like who?
- Like important people--
217
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:11,763
my frien-- sources,
important sources and contacts,
218
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,474
- some of whom are my friends, yes--
- George.
219
00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:17,686
You don't engage
in that kind of journalism anymore.
220
00:12:17,852 --> 00:12:21,148
There's a lovely commissary
on the third floor.
221
00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:24,026
- There is?
- Mm-hmm.
222
00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:28,238
Look, I know
it's a small thing,
223
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,784
but I love Orangina.
224
00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:33,661
So does the whole staff.
225
00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:36,914
See, I was at
the Sorbonne in 1969
226
00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:39,250
and I had a French girlfriend, naturally.
227
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,502
And every time
I have an Orangina,
228
00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:44,505
I go back in time
to the Boulevard Saint-Michel.
229
00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:46,340
George, stop it.
230
00:12:46,507 --> 00:12:49,844
The publishing world
has changed.
231
00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,179
No more "Orjinah."
232
00:12:51,346 --> 00:12:54,557
Now about the board meeting,
later today:
233
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:57,435
they like to say
a little prayer at the start.
234
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,896
- Don't let that throw you.
- Right. Listen,
235
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:02,149
I don't mean to be rude,
236
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:04,526
but are you on
the Christian right
237
00:13:04,693 --> 00:13:07,529
or are you just the hired fixer
for all the magazines they buy?
238
00:13:07,738 --> 00:13:09,406
I fix,
239
00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:11,492
but politically,
if you're interested,
240
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,745
I'm not on the right,
but I am a libertarian.
241
00:13:14,954 --> 00:13:16,789
Sorry.
242
00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:21,043
You know, most people think of me
as an old-fashioned liberal,
243
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:23,170
but I'm kind of
a closet libertarian myself.
244
00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:25,590
I'm fiscally responsible,
245
00:13:25,798 --> 00:13:27,508
but sexually out of control.
246
00:13:31,221 --> 00:13:32,806
Okay.
247
00:13:51,158 --> 00:13:53,118
So what do you like to do?
248
00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:56,539
Well, this is my first time,
but I'm open-minded.
249
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:58,707
Do you offer, like,
a prix fixe option--
250
00:13:58,874 --> 00:14:01,252
like a tasting menu
where I could try a couple of things?
251
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,588
Sure, we can start
with some basic beginner play.
252
00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:06,799
Once the session starts,
you're to call me Mistress Florence.
253
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:09,385
Really?
Florence is my mother's name.
254
00:14:09,594 --> 00:14:11,930
Oh. You're an infantilist.
I'll go get some diapers.
255
00:14:12,096 --> 00:14:14,224
No no, no diapers.
Just thought I'd mention it.
256
00:14:14,432 --> 00:14:15,767
You know?
Just a coincidence.
257
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:17,268
There aren't
that many Florences.
258
00:14:17,435 --> 00:14:20,647
There's Florence Nightingale,
Florence the city in Italy--
259
00:14:20,814 --> 00:14:23,024
which actually is "Firenze."
260
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:25,777
Stop talking.
I'm gonna go get changed.
261
00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:27,905
And when I come back,
I want you naked,
262
00:14:28,113 --> 00:14:30,699
lying face down
with your ass in the air.
263
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:42,837
Do not touch your penis!
264
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:13,953
Come on, come on, come on.
265
00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:16,956
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
266
00:15:19,583 --> 00:15:21,877
Yes?
267
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:23,629
She's, uh--
all tied up right now.
268
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:35,392
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Uh, nothing.
269
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,186
Uh, just thought we could
role-play hide-and-seek
270
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,438
like I did with my mom,
you know,
271
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,566
my first Mistress Florence.
272
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,528
I'm the one who dictates
what goes on in our sessions,
273
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,406
- you little castrato piece of shit!
- Ow ow ow!
274
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,493
Shut up.
But I do respect limits.
275
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,411
What's your safety word
gonna be?
276
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,331
- "Help"?
- No, I prefer the word "eunuch."
277
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,959
I think a one-syllable word like "help"
might be better. I can get it out quicker.
278
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,585
- Shut up.
- Ow!
279
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,213
I just don't feel like
you're interested in me.
280
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,174
You never want to know
what I think about things.
281
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,843
- That is not true, Leah.
- To me it's true.
282
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,845
You don't care
about what I care about.
283
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,723
I enjoyed the yoga class, okay?
284
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,017
I'm looking forward
to the sign language thing.
285
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,186
Look, I've been practicing.
Watch this.
286
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,024
It means
"You stink after yoga class."
287
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,695
It's not about
taking classes, Ray.
288
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:29,239
You're the one that said
we should do things together.
289
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,367
I did,
but it's more than that.
290
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:36,789
Look, I know that I don't really know
how to say the right things.
291
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,208
I just--
292
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,043
I-- go ahead.
293
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:43,379
I just think
I need to be alone.
294
00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:46,048
I went right from my marriage
to being with you.
295
00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,634
I haven't been on my own
since I was like 20.
296
00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,261
I don't know who I am.
297
00:16:50,428 --> 00:16:52,096
Are you--
298
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:54,015
are you trying
to break up with me?
299
00:16:55,892 --> 00:16:57,978
Yes.
300
00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:01,815
- Why?
- I'm sorry, Ray.
301
00:17:01,982 --> 00:17:03,984
- I'm just not happy.
- But nobody's happy!
302
00:17:04,151 --> 00:17:05,819
My parents have been
together for 40 years!
303
00:17:05,986 --> 00:17:07,321
They haven't been happy
for a second!
304
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,531
Ray, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go, okay?
305
00:17:09,698 --> 00:17:12,743
I just wanna be alone.
I'm gonna go.
306
00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:25,965
Eunuch.
Eunuch!
307
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,343
- Eunuch!
- What? I couldn't hear you.
308
00:17:28,509 --> 00:17:30,261
I said eunuch.
309
00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:32,430
You're supposed to hear
a person's safety word.
310
00:17:32,597 --> 00:17:35,433
I'm sorry. Let's take a break anyway.
My arm's getting tired.
311
00:17:37,644 --> 00:17:40,939
Was this leather suit washed
since your last client?
312
00:17:41,106 --> 00:17:43,150
You can't wash leather.
313
00:17:43,316 --> 00:17:45,319
That's true.
314
00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:47,487
I do like the little
leather footies.
315
00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:50,282
It reminds me of the pajamas
I wore as a kid.
316
00:17:50,449 --> 00:17:52,368
I used to love to put them on
after my bath.
317
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,453
Then I'd get to watch
a little more TV.
318
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:56,163
You're a real Chatty Cathy,
aren't you?
319
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,165
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
320
00:17:58,332 --> 00:18:00,292
You're cute.
321
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,003
So what do you do?
You don't have to tell me,
322
00:18:02,169 --> 00:18:03,379
but I like to know my clients.
323
00:18:03,546 --> 00:18:05,089
Well...
324
00:18:05,256 --> 00:18:06,674
I'm sort of
a struggling writer.
325
00:18:06,841 --> 00:18:08,968
I recently had
my second novel rejected.
326
00:18:09,135 --> 00:18:12,055
I did just start teaching
for the first time though last night.
327
00:18:12,222 --> 00:18:14,766
- Really? Where?
- Metropolitan Writers' Workshop.
328
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:16,810
They have those green boxes
all over the city
329
00:18:16,977 --> 00:18:18,979
- with the brochures.
- I took a class there.
330
00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:20,647
Maybe you could help me.
331
00:18:20,814 --> 00:18:23,358
We could do like a barter thing.
332
00:18:23,525 --> 00:18:26,987
I could give you a free session
and you could read my manuscript?
333
00:18:27,154 --> 00:18:28,655
Well, maybe.
334
00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:31,909
I'm telling you
I have a great book in me.
335
00:18:32,076 --> 00:18:35,996
My work? I mean,
there's so many stories.
336
00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:37,873
Everyone's in so much pain.
337
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,334
- Everybody out in the hall!
- What the fuck is that?!
338
00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:42,169
Florence, get out here, please.
339
00:18:42,336 --> 00:18:44,130
- Tammy!
- NYPD!
340
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,716
Okay, everybody. It's the police!
Move out in the hall.
341
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:49,344
Oh no no, not the cops.
Not the cops.
342
00:18:54,849 --> 00:18:58,019
Guys, guys, go back in there.
343
00:19:07,529 --> 00:19:09,740
Officer Drake,
it's me, Jonathan!
344
00:19:09,907 --> 00:19:11,950
- Get on Doris.
- Doris.
345
00:19:14,036 --> 00:19:15,871
- Did you destroy the hard drive?
- Yes.
346
00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:18,082
That's great.
347
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:23,588
- Why are you in leather?
- I had part of a session with Mistress Florence.
348
00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:26,591
Oh, wow, I love her. She's very sympathetic.
349
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:29,552
- Oh shit! You got to get down!
- What? You can't take me back to Brooklyn?
350
00:19:29,719 --> 00:19:31,471
- I don't have my wallet!
- That's not possible.
351
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,099
I'm sorry. Get down!
352
00:19:34,265 --> 00:19:37,310
But what am I supposed to do?
353
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,980
I don't know, but I can't
let the other mounties see us together.
354
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,898
But I'm locked in this hood!
355
00:19:42,065 --> 00:19:44,943
I'll be sending you a bill
for my expenses!
356
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,570
Thank you!
357
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,248
Come on!
358
00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:00,334
Pay phones.
359
00:20:05,757 --> 00:20:07,925
- Operator.
- I'd like to make a collect call.
360
00:20:11,095 --> 00:20:12,764
Hello?
361
00:20:12,931 --> 00:20:14,933
Yeah, I'll accept the charges.
362
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,185
- Ray, I need help!
- Leah broke up with me.
363
00:20:17,352 --> 00:20:19,271
- I'm back in the falcon hood.
- What?
364
00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:21,440
Leah broke up with me.
I'm back in the falcon hood.
365
00:20:21,606 --> 00:20:23,316
I can't see anything.
366
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,444
It's like my eyes
have been painted black.
367
00:20:27,654 --> 00:20:29,198
Ray, that's terrible,
but listen!
368
00:20:29,364 --> 00:20:31,700
- I'm trapped in a real hood! I-- I--
- Look, I gotta go.
369
00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:34,828
I don't wanna cry on the phone.
I'm very lachrymose.
370
00:20:36,247 --> 00:20:38,290
Listen, you're a good friend.
371
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:41,460
Okay, thanks for calling.
372
00:20:42,962 --> 00:20:44,505
Ray! Ah!
373
00:20:46,132 --> 00:20:48,134
How about that?
374
00:20:53,389 --> 00:20:55,266
Ah, whoa!
375
00:21:02,983 --> 00:21:04,151
Ah!
376
00:21:07,487 --> 00:21:08,655
Sorry.
377
00:21:11,325 --> 00:21:12,368
Ah!
378
00:21:32,597 --> 00:21:34,140
Ah!
379
00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:43,692
George, we're very happy
to welcome you
380
00:21:43,859 --> 00:21:46,862
and "Edition"
to the Wellstone Media family.
381
00:21:47,029 --> 00:21:48,947
Thank you.
I'm glad to be a new member.
382
00:21:49,114 --> 00:21:51,700
- I feel like a baby.
- Good.
383
00:21:51,867 --> 00:21:55,287
Well, it's our tradition to start our meetings
with the Lord's Prayer.
384
00:21:55,454 --> 00:21:56,956
- Yes.
- So...
385
00:21:57,123 --> 00:21:59,875
- Oh.
- Our Father, Who art in heaven...
386
00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:01,711
Hallowed be Thy name.
387
00:22:01,877 --> 00:22:03,880
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done
388
00:22:04,046 --> 00:22:05,923
on earth as it is in heaven.
389
00:22:08,384 --> 00:22:09,928
I need to speak
to Mr. Christopher!
390
00:22:10,094 --> 00:22:12,388
I freelance here!
391
00:22:14,557 --> 00:22:15,892
George! George!
392
00:22:16,059 --> 00:22:18,728
George, George!
393
00:22:23,233 --> 00:22:25,902
This intruder says he knows you,
Mr. Christopher.
394
00:22:26,069 --> 00:22:28,572
I have no idea who this is.
395
00:22:28,739 --> 00:22:32,159
- Call 911.
- No! George! Look, it's me!
396
00:22:32,326 --> 00:22:35,579
- It's Jonathan.
- Oh God.
397
00:22:35,746 --> 00:22:37,248
Jona--
398
00:22:37,414 --> 00:22:39,417
Um, I'll take care of this.
Thank you very much.
399
00:22:39,583 --> 00:22:41,836
This is a friend of yours,
Mr. Christopher?
400
00:22:42,003 --> 00:22:45,757
Uh-- he's a writer
for the magazine.
401
00:22:45,923 --> 00:22:48,843
Um, I'll be right back.
Finish the prayer without me.
402
00:22:50,011 --> 00:22:51,763
I am fighting for the life
of this magazine
403
00:22:51,930 --> 00:22:56,017
and you show up like this--
dressed in an S&M snorkeling outfit?
404
00:22:56,184 --> 00:22:58,603
I was undercover on a case
in an S&M dungeon.
405
00:22:58,770 --> 00:23:01,356
I lost my wallet and my cell phone.
I had no choice.
406
00:23:01,523 --> 00:23:02,774
George, I'm sorry.
407
00:23:02,941 --> 00:23:04,943
Just wait in there.
I'll be right back.
408
00:23:05,110 --> 00:23:06,445
Wait wait wait,
wait, George.
409
00:23:06,612 --> 00:23:08,572
Can you get me out of this hood?
I'm locked in.
410
00:23:08,739 --> 00:23:10,616
Oh G-- Jeez.
411
00:23:10,783 --> 00:23:12,409
What am I gonna do
with you, Jonathan?
412
00:23:12,576 --> 00:23:14,078
Were you guys
praying in there?
413
00:23:14,245 --> 00:23:15,955
Just turn around.
414
00:23:18,374 --> 00:23:20,960
I think Leah
broke up with Ray.
415
00:23:21,127 --> 00:23:24,338
What?
Oh no, that's terrible.
416
00:23:24,505 --> 00:23:25,923
I hope he'll be all right.
417
00:23:27,592 --> 00:23:29,886
Hey, did you make an appointment
at the urologist?
418
00:23:30,053 --> 00:23:31,304
No, not yet.
419
00:23:31,471 --> 00:23:33,640
If I hurt you, let me know.
420
00:23:33,807 --> 00:23:35,892
This hood is really locked on.
421
00:23:36,059 --> 00:23:37,394
If you hurt me,
I'll say eunuch.
422
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,813
- What?
- It's my safety word. Eunuch!
423
00:23:41,064 --> 00:23:44,026
Do you love me
424
00:23:44,192 --> 00:23:47,279
Like I love you?
425
00:23:47,446 --> 00:23:51,158
That you need me
426
00:23:51,325 --> 00:23:55,454
Like I need you too
427
00:23:55,621 --> 00:23:59,667
That you love me
428
00:23:59,834 --> 00:24:03,838
Like I love you
429
00:24:04,005 --> 00:24:07,175
That you need me
430
00:24:07,341 --> 00:24:12,388
Like I need you too
431
00:24:12,555 --> 00:24:16,226
Hand in hand, it feels so right
432
00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:20,021
Each time it's something new
433
00:24:20,188 --> 00:24:24,151
I understand
that we're coming from
434
00:24:24,318 --> 00:24:27,404
The same point of view
435
00:24:27,571 --> 00:24:31,200
And you love me
436
00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:35,204
Like I love you
437
00:24:35,371 --> 00:24:37,331
And you need me.
438
00:24:37,381 --> 00:24:41,931
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