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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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.:: La Fabrique ::.
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L'Équipe à Roger
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Synchro: mpm
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- Mr. Eaton?
- Mr. Ames?
6
00:01:19,591 --> 00:01:21,658
Sorry I'm late.
There was traffic.
7
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It's great to be here.
I grew up in new jersey.
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Do you know who that is?
9
00:01:27,416 --> 00:01:29,088
That's my colleague.
10
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He does all the driving.
11
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Anyways,
12
00:01:33,508 --> 00:01:35,629
why don't you tell me
what the exact problem is?
13
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I appreciate you wanting
to be discreet on the phone.
14
00:01:40,049 --> 00:01:41,267
I'm being blackmailed.
15
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,412
Why?
What happened?
16
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,551
Well, I've been married 11 years.
17
00:01:45,676 --> 00:01:48,837
I have two little boys.
They're lovely. And my wife and I...
18
00:01:51,354 --> 00:01:54,357
When I was a kid
my parents had separate bedrooms.
19
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,323
I don't think I ever
even saw them kiss.
20
00:01:56,535 --> 00:01:59,090
- That happens a lot.
- Yeah, well, it happened to me.
21
00:01:59,215 --> 00:02:01,619
So I went on Craigslist.
22
00:02:03,376 --> 00:02:07,168
I figured it'd be all right
if I had an affair with a married woman.
23
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,545
Oh, my god,
this woman's body is beautiful.
24
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,131
Did you really meet her?
25
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,253
Sorry.
26
00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:14,633
Go on.
27
00:02:15,128 --> 00:02:17,034
Yeah, we met at a motel,
28
00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:19,814
one of those
that charges by the hour.
29
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:22,801
Her name was Sophia and she was...
30
00:02:22,926 --> 00:02:24,870
I mean, she is beautiful.
31
00:02:26,535 --> 00:02:29,398
I actually thought that she liked me,
which is pathetic.
32
00:02:30,329 --> 00:02:32,665
Don't beat yourself up.
You were vulnerable.
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00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:35,035
I don't know how, but she filmed us.
34
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,810
She sent me a copy
and she asked for $1000
35
00:02:37,935 --> 00:02:39,366
or she would show it to my wife.
36
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:42,362
- You paid?
- I maxed out a credit card
37
00:02:42,487 --> 00:02:44,439
and I thought
the whole thing was over.
38
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:47,500
But then she called again.
She wants $500 a month.
39
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:49,585
That is a lot.
40
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,923
I don't have that,
especially not in this economy.
41
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:53,795
You know, I've got two kids.
42
00:02:56,192 --> 00:02:59,149
Your ad said
that your rates were reasonable.
43
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,389
All the other detectives
were way out of my league.
44
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,757
I charge $100 a day, but I'm good.
45
00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:07,087
I'm one of the...
46
00:03:07,832 --> 00:03:08,896
Well, I'm good.
47
00:03:10,229 --> 00:03:11,629
I can afford that.
48
00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:14,985
I just need you to get
that tape back for me.
49
00:03:15,969 --> 00:03:18,956
The weird thing is
I feel closer to my wife than ever.
50
00:03:20,475 --> 00:03:22,074
I can't lose her now.
51
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:23,655
I understand.
52
00:03:27,865 --> 00:03:30,501
Will you get me a hamburger to go?
I'm starving.
53
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,959
- Cheese?
- No cheese.
54
00:03:32,084 --> 00:03:33,634
All right, no cheese.
55
00:03:36,138 --> 00:03:38,008
I'll get your tape for you.
I promise.
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00:03:38,947 --> 00:03:39,947
Excuse me,
57
00:03:40,257 --> 00:03:42,957
can I get a cheeseburger,
no cheese, to go?
58
00:03:46,986 --> 00:03:48,744
- Hello, ladies.
- Good morning.
59
00:03:48,869 --> 00:03:51,769
So just wait here
under these ballerinas, okay?
60
00:03:52,324 --> 00:03:54,237
Okay, I like ballet.
61
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:03,099
Hey, Jonathan, dear boy, come in.
62
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:07,464
Got your email. I came by to pick up
the galleys for the new Paul Auster.
63
00:04:07,589 --> 00:04:08,455
Oh, shit.
64
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,499
- What's the matter?
- There's a party tonight
65
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,260
for Gay Talese
at the national arts club.
66
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,212
Another award.
I think he's a great writer,
67
00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:18,591
but how many of these things
can I go to in life?
68
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,756
I don't know.
69
00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:21,878
You go to one
almost every night of the week.
70
00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:24,952
I know, and it's always
the same boring people,
71
00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:27,035
going on 35 years.
72
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:30,501
Though some die and some press on.
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00:04:31,477 --> 00:04:33,772
I fall into the press-on category.
74
00:04:34,019 --> 00:04:36,150
Pressing on is good.
Pressing on is heroic.
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00:04:36,578 --> 00:04:37,448
Maybe.
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00:04:37,573 --> 00:04:40,827
The first 25 years or so
it all seemed very meaningful.
77
00:04:41,443 --> 00:04:42,741
The past 10 years
78
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,028
I feel like I'm on autopilot.
79
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,128
I may not even be talking right now.
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00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:49,413
This could be a tape recording.
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00:04:50,145 --> 00:04:51,245
Your Auster.
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00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,793
Great. I love Paul Auster.
I'll write you a good review.
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00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,762
Yeah, whatever,
but more importantly,
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00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:59,201
I want you to come with me
tonight to the party.
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00:04:59,326 --> 00:05:01,574
You can get quotes
for the society page or something.
86
00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:03,761
See, I don't want to go
to the party by myself.
87
00:05:03,935 --> 00:05:05,932
Tonight?
I'm really sorry but I can't.
88
00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:09,099
You never say no.
Don't you need money for the piece?
89
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,317
I do but...
90
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,921
Since when do you play it
so close to the vest?
91
00:05:14,163 --> 00:05:15,272
I don't like secrets.
92
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,969
I'm the only one who gets
to have secrets. Sit down.
93
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:26,867
- I have another job.
- You're not writing for Antrem at GQ?
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00:05:27,949 --> 00:05:31,163
I would never do that to you.
Do you really want to know the truth?
95
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,013
Yes, I do,
96
00:05:33,386 --> 00:05:35,428
as long as it's not boring.
97
00:05:38,942 --> 00:05:41,626
I have a second job
as a private detective.
98
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:44,468
I haven'ttold you because I thought
you would think it was strange.
99
00:05:46,369 --> 00:05:49,051
If you're going to lie
you need to make it believable.
100
00:05:49,176 --> 00:05:51,475
Throw in an element of truth.
That's what I do.
101
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,011
But I'm not lying.
I have an ad on Craigslist
102
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,702
advertising myself as an
unlicensed private detective.
103
00:05:56,827 --> 00:06:00,067
And tonight in New Jersey
I'm meeting this woman... A blackmailer.
104
00:06:01,141 --> 00:06:03,362
I still don't believe you.
What kind of blackmailer?
105
00:06:03,593 --> 00:06:05,214
She targets married men.
106
00:06:05,339 --> 00:06:08,589
We've been emailing and texting
for the last 24 hours.
107
00:06:08,832 --> 00:06:11,584
I posed as married to lure her in.
And tonight...
108
00:06:11,995 --> 00:06:14,123
And tonight I have to get
my client's sex tape back.
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00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:17,908
- I want to come with you.
- On my case?
110
00:06:19,566 --> 00:06:21,812
Gay Talese would want me
to do something like this.
111
00:06:21,937 --> 00:06:25,056
To hell with a boring dinner party.
Now don't you see, Jonathan?
112
00:06:25,181 --> 00:06:28,170
This is the kind of journalism
that we need in the magazine.
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00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:30,673
We'll be writers who fight crime,
114
00:06:30,798 --> 00:06:32,349
give it a big cover story...
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00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:34,885
You know,
"Blackmailer's brought... "
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00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,847
"Sextortionist brought down
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00:06:37,972 --> 00:06:40,572
"by George Christopher
and Jonathan Ames."
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00:06:41,269 --> 00:06:43,879
Or your name would
go first if you want. I'm just...
119
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,461
thinking out loud here.
120
00:06:45,586 --> 00:06:46,655
What do you say?
121
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,580
Ray, this is George... My boss.
He's coming with us.
122
00:06:55,009 --> 00:06:56,756
Nice to meet you.
Heard a lot about you.
123
00:06:56,881 --> 00:06:59,585
Thank you for letting me come on
this adventure with you.
124
00:06:59,813 --> 00:07:02,677
I'm just the driver.
My girlfriend lent us the car.
125
00:07:03,641 --> 00:07:06,244
- A nice car?
- A Subaru, automatic.
126
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,602
What's a Subaru?
127
00:07:10,537 --> 00:07:12,708
Now what's the exact plan?
How are we doing this?
128
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,538
I'm gonna meet the woman at this motel
outside the Lincoln tunnel.
129
00:07:15,663 --> 00:07:18,592
She's supposed to get a room and
call me. But I'm gonna stand her up.
130
00:07:18,717 --> 00:07:21,042
Except we'll be there
and we'll follow her home.
131
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:22,020
Then what?
132
00:07:22,145 --> 00:07:24,076
- Then the plan gets weak.
- It doesn't.
133
00:07:24,201 --> 00:07:27,028
Either I'll confront her at her home
and ask for the tape back
134
00:07:27,153 --> 00:07:29,142
or we'll wait till she leaves
and we'll break in
135
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:31,139
and grab the thing and flee.
136
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,073
How are we gonna break in?
137
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:35,329
I went online.
There's a spy shop in the village.
138
00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:38,082
They have a special lock picker
that opens all doors.
139
00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:41,601
This is all very insane
and illegal, isn't it?
140
00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:45,672
It is illegal.
And insane.
141
00:07:46,284 --> 00:07:48,133
Good.
I like insane.
142
00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:50,398
So this is the Subaru?
143
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:52,607
Yeah, try not to make a mess.
144
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:56,269
$700?
145
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,645
- Is that a lot?
- You know, I have no idea.
146
00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:01,271
It could be a good deal,
147
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,232
night vision and all.
148
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:05,700
Those are top of the line,
149
00:08:06,016 --> 00:08:08,654
very popular in Afghanistan
at 3:00 a.m.
150
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:11,464
- Howard baker.
- George christopher.
151
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,200
Howard, we'll take one.
152
00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:15,786
- Charge it to the magazine.
- Maybe we won't need them.
153
00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:17,689
You know what, Sunday styles...
154
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:20,621
I'd hate to think of a situation
where you needed night-vision goggles
155
00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:22,751
and you didn't have
night-vision goggles.
156
00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:26,033
You know, maybe he's got
a good point.
157
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:27,798
We'll take one of these too.
158
00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:29,482
What are these?
159
00:08:30,065 --> 00:08:31,277
Those...
160
00:08:31,402 --> 00:08:32,676
are cameras.
161
00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:35,681
Look at that.
That's great.
162
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,685
Do you have an e.z. Lock picker?
163
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,318
Yeah, right over here.
164
00:08:45,446 --> 00:08:47,373
I already thought
it was a done deal.
165
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,361
Is he gonna change his mind?
166
00:08:51,357 --> 00:08:52,807
Thanks for calling.
167
00:08:55,879 --> 00:08:58,562
- Is everything okay?
- That was my friend at Esquire.
168
00:08:58,687 --> 00:09:02,374
They won't run the cartoon about me
trying to get the lesbians pregnant.
169
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,742
That was $5000 I was gonna get.
170
00:09:05,552 --> 00:09:08,047
- What happened?
- The senior editors hated it.
171
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,349
They're not even gonna
let me do a revision.
172
00:09:10,474 --> 00:09:12,557
I really needed that cash, man.
173
00:09:12,850 --> 00:09:14,848
I'm sorry.
I know it's not much,
174
00:09:14,973 --> 00:09:16,907
but I'll give you half
of what I make tonight...
175
00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:18,032
50 bucks.
176
00:09:18,904 --> 00:09:19,904
Good.
177
00:09:20,377 --> 00:09:22,936
- That's good for half of a colonic.
- How much for the taser?
178
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,314
I can't sell you that.
179
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,842
- Howard, come on.
- George, it takes special training.
180
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,751
I don't have time.
I gotta close up in 10 minutes.
181
00:09:30,876 --> 00:09:33,655
Man, if I get home late
my wife will kill me.
182
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:35,951
I mean, I wear the pants,
183
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,869
but she's got the belt,
if you know what I mean.
184
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,537
This pen doesn't work.
185
00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:42,981
That's because...
186
00:09:44,056 --> 00:09:45,185
it's a camera.
187
00:09:45,682 --> 00:09:46,874
Look at that.
188
00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:50,564
You know, I love this place.
I'm gonna do all my shopping here.
189
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:53,634
We've got a blackmailer to meet.
190
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,149
So who's this fellow?
191
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:12,486
That's my girlfriend's
kid's toy. It's called Janet.
192
00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:15,155
This unicorn's name is Janet?
193
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:19,050
Yeah, she likes for her kids
to use real names for some reason.
194
00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:28,085
Yes, this is Ray.
195
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,026
Get us a room and call me
when you're inside.
196
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,853
- I'm almost there.
- But I thought...
197
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:34,924
See you soon.
198
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,728
- Why'd you use my name?
- It was the first one that came.
199
00:10:39,853 --> 00:10:42,182
- I didn't use your last name.
- So what's going on?
200
00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:44,935
She wants me to rent a room
and call her from inside.
201
00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:49,644
So how are you gonna stand her up
if you're already in the room?
202
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,739
I'll meet her and then
I'll pretend to get cold feet.
203
00:10:54,864 --> 00:10:57,197
The plan still works.
We'll tail her when she leaves.
204
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,350
Sounds good to me.
205
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,874
Oh, boy.
206
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,488
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
207
00:11:11,613 --> 00:11:14,333
She's a blackmailer
but looked very small in her picture.
208
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,685
And I fenced in college.
I have some moves.
209
00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:18,640
Maybe we should have gotten a taser.
210
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,129
No, I don't need a taser.
I'll be okay.
211
00:11:22,878 --> 00:11:24,999
I'm doing this
to save a man's marriage.
212
00:11:25,124 --> 00:11:27,001
He shouldn't be punished
for one mistake.
213
00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:28,526
- Why not?
- Ray.
214
00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:31,744
Hey, we'll be right here
if anything goes wrong.
215
00:11:42,106 --> 00:11:44,161
Hi, it's Ray.
I'm in room 6.
216
00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:45,479
Great.
217
00:11:45,899 --> 00:11:47,318
I'll be right there.
218
00:11:47,843 --> 00:11:49,292
No rush.
No rush.
219
00:12:11,285 --> 00:12:12,712
Not much to see.
220
00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:16,715
In fact,
221
00:12:17,252 --> 00:12:19,446
it's actually
pretty well-lit out there.
222
00:12:21,937 --> 00:12:23,658
Do you mind if I smoke pot in here?
223
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,827
Not at all.
224
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,831
- Can I have some?
- You smoke pot?
225
00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:31,917
Since the '60s.
226
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,199
Look look, here she is.
227
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:50,811
Oh my God,
228
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:52,508
she's a knockout.
229
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:53,947
Let me see.
230
00:12:57,081 --> 00:12:58,474
Coming coming.
231
00:13:04,895 --> 00:13:05,992
Can I come in?
232
00:13:09,578 --> 00:13:10,651
Of course.
233
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:17,587
Mind if I smoke?
234
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:21,811
It's actually a non-smoking room,
but for they have an ashtray.
235
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,248
It sort of sends a mixed message.
236
00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:32,763
Just...
237
00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:34,552
sit on the bed?
238
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:42,669
You're more attractive
than I thought you'd be.
239
00:13:43,326 --> 00:13:45,490
I like a man with a big nose.
240
00:13:53,747 --> 00:13:55,306
Is it really that big?
241
00:13:55,431 --> 00:13:56,631
In a good way.
242
00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:04,183
So you're unhappy with your wife?
243
00:14:07,273 --> 00:14:08,657
My wife?
I'm not...
244
00:14:09,285 --> 00:14:10,532
Right, yes,
245
00:14:10,657 --> 00:14:12,442
my wife... Suzanne.
246
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,712
Things haven't been good.
247
00:14:15,837 --> 00:14:19,133
She thinks I drink too much,
but it's her father who's the...
248
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:23,887
Maybe this isn't a good idea.
249
00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:26,818
I haven't been with another woman
since Suzanne...
250
00:14:26,943 --> 00:14:28,408
I mean, since Suzanne and I
251
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,477
started having troubles,
and I think I'd better go.
252
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,830
- But it was really nice to meet you...
- Shut up, Ray.
253
00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:37,459
I don't understand.
254
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:39,795
It was a cartoon about your sperm?
255
00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:44,228
I've been giving my sperm
to these two lesbians.
256
00:14:44,353 --> 00:14:47,010
They're fans of mine.
They want to have a kid.
257
00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,346
You're helping lesbians have a baby?
258
00:14:50,281 --> 00:14:51,967
My girlfriend doesn't want
any more kids
259
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:55,519
and thought, "This is my chance
and I can also help this couple."
260
00:14:55,959 --> 00:14:57,309
That's beautiful.
261
00:14:58,222 --> 00:14:59,356
I have a daughter.
262
00:15:00,426 --> 00:15:01,483
Are you close?
263
00:15:01,826 --> 00:15:03,193
She lives in Seattle.
264
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,117
We love each other but we're...
265
00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:10,073
We don't really know each other.
266
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:16,865
I have completely failed
267
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,340
at the most important thing in life.
268
00:15:21,577 --> 00:15:23,630
I'm gonna call her
and tell her I love her.
269
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,258
No, you don't want
to high-dial your daughter.
270
00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:29,636
- I'm not that high really.
- I think you are.
271
00:15:32,964 --> 00:15:34,864
I'll use the voice changer.
272
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,394
She won't be able
to tell I'm stoned.
273
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,580
No, here.
274
00:15:41,547 --> 00:15:44,484
Hey, honey, I just called to tell you
that I love you.
275
00:15:45,568 --> 00:15:47,768
This is your father.
I'm a robot.
276
00:15:49,095 --> 00:15:51,533
That's stoned thinking.
You'll scare the shit out of her.
277
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,851
You're right.
278
00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:56,121
Should I send a text message?
279
00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:05,594
- Did you come?
- No, not yet.
280
00:16:05,719 --> 00:16:08,206
- That was a loud yell.
- No, you'll know.
281
00:16:09,032 --> 00:16:11,845
Put a finger in now, okay?
That'll push me over the top.
282
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:17,267
This is my fleet of super sperms.
283
00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:19,326
I could have really used
that 5 grand.
284
00:16:19,451 --> 00:16:21,324
You're very talented.
285
00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:22,939
I mean, these are amazing.
286
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,107
Really?
287
00:16:24,463 --> 00:16:26,344
Do you think you could publish them?
288
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:31,544
It's probably too sperm-oriented
for our readership,
289
00:16:31,669 --> 00:16:33,366
but I love your style.
290
00:16:33,679 --> 00:16:34,677
Wait wait.
291
00:16:36,015 --> 00:16:38,747
- What?
- How long has Jonathan been in there?
292
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,040
I don't know.
I'm on marijuana minutes.
293
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,287
Yeah, me too.
294
00:16:43,412 --> 00:16:45,598
I usually set my diver's watch
when I'm stoned
295
00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,474
so I know how long it's been.
296
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:51,259
He could have been in there for 2 h,
but it seems like it's only been 5 min.
297
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,835
I need a new watch.
Are you happy with yours?
298
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,317
Yeah, it's navy seals,
299
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,630
water-resistant up to 200.
300
00:16:58,755 --> 00:17:01,885
- I wear it to the bathtub all the time.
- I should get one of these.
301
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:04,105
I can't wear mine in the bathtub.
302
00:17:11,485 --> 00:17:13,040
That was amazing.
303
00:17:13,928 --> 00:17:15,265
Get over here now.
304
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:17,661
You know, they say if babies
don't get touched enough
305
00:17:18,452 --> 00:17:19,571
they die.
306
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:23,141
I think the same thing
applies to adults,
307
00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:25,348
you know?
308
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:32,926
The water pressure
is pretty good here.
309
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,761
Your name's not Ray.
It's Jonathan.
310
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,266
- How did you...?
- Jonathan Ames,
311
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,127
181 hamilton street,
Brooklyn, New York.
312
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,936
- That's my license. I can't lose that.
- I videotaped us.
313
00:17:43,502 --> 00:17:45,165
You're gonna pay me $500 now
314
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:47,482
and $500 a week
for the next 10 weeks.
315
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,813
- Every week? That's more...
- If I don't get my money
316
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,409
your wife gets the tape.
317
00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:54,026
Listen,
318
00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:58,275
I had a really nice time with you,
319
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,297
but I'm holding all the cards here.
320
00:18:00,922 --> 00:18:01,996
I'm not married.
321
00:18:03,098 --> 00:18:05,385
- Who's Suzanne?
- My ex-girlfriend.
322
00:18:06,328 --> 00:18:09,054
You're actually the first
person I've slept with in months.
323
00:18:09,179 --> 00:18:10,588
It was really nice with you,
324
00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:14,551
so you know.
325
00:18:16,725 --> 00:18:19,556
But you're a novelist.
You're in the public eye.
326
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,110
How did you know?
327
00:18:21,591 --> 00:18:24,141
- You've read my work?
- I googled you.
328
00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:26,188
You freelance at Edition NY.
329
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,132
You've written one book,
I pass like night.
330
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:30,804
And your Amazon ranking
is roughly 447,000.
331
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,194
Amazon's ranking thing is
all screwed up...
332
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,109
I'm gonna put the video
on YouTube, Facebook... Everywhere.
333
00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:37,532
You will be humiliated.
334
00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:39,617
But you had two orgasms.
335
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,286
I want my $500 now.
336
00:18:49,872 --> 00:18:52,149
Have you thought
about going for counseling
337
00:18:52,274 --> 00:18:54,174
to help with your relationship?
338
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,950
I have a wonderful therapist.
339
00:18:57,075 --> 00:18:58,475
He has me doing...
340
00:19:00,022 --> 00:19:01,347
all sorts of things.
341
00:19:02,086 --> 00:19:03,844
I went a few weeks ago.
342
00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,365
Leah made me go.
343
00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,520
She also made me
go get some colonics.
344
00:19:07,754 --> 00:19:09,272
I'd like a colonic.
345
00:19:11,041 --> 00:19:12,674
Hey, let me see, let me see.
346
00:19:12,799 --> 00:19:13,849
Be patient.
347
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,541
Can I draw you next?
348
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,451
I haven't drawn in years.
349
00:19:21,975 --> 00:19:23,825
I want to be like a child.
350
00:19:23,969 --> 00:19:25,369
I want to be free.
351
00:19:29,511 --> 00:19:30,511
Please.
352
00:19:34,704 --> 00:19:36,454
- Did he pay?
- Not yet.
353
00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:39,052
He's only got 40 bucks.
We'll go out to the ATM.
354
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:42,305
- Who are you?
- I'm the guy with the taser.
355
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,766
Do you shop at the spy store
on Christopher street?
356
00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:46,995
Shut up.
$500 now
357
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,729
and $500 for the next 10 weeks
or I will fuck you up.
358
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,690
Listen, I'm a writer.
I don't make that kind of money.
359
00:19:56,758 --> 00:19:58,071
That's not cool, man.
360
00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,787
That really hurt, all right?
361
00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:01,866
You need special training to use it.
362
00:20:02,099 --> 00:20:03,615
Get your fucking pants on.
363
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:06,911
- You didn't have to hurt him.
- You do your thing, I'll do mine.
364
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:20,486
$500.
Let's go.
365
00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:28,351
It'll only let me take out
$200 at a time.
366
00:20:28,615 --> 00:20:30,760
So make three withdrawals, genius.
367
00:20:30,885 --> 00:20:34,107
- But that's 3 separate service charges.
- Look, I will taser your face.
368
00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:36,603
Okay, I'm just saying you
should at least acknowledge
369
00:20:36,728 --> 00:20:39,112
that I'm now basically paying $509.
370
00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:57,380
I feel like a child again.
I'm drawing.
371
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,632
What the hell?
Didn't you see what was going on?
372
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,002
What happened?
373
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,247
Follow that van.
That guy tasered me.
374
00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:06,022
- Look what I drew.
- Just follow the van.
375
00:21:17,716 --> 00:21:19,985
- Now what?
- I gotta go get those tapes back.
376
00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:22,947
Are you nuts? You can't go in
there. He's tasered you already.
377
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,283
- But I need to get those tapes.
- Who cares?
378
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,959
There's a sex tape of you online.
379
00:21:27,084 --> 00:21:29,913
I can't think of anybody's career
who hasn't been helped by a sex tape.
380
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,010
Could even help a writer like you.
381
00:21:32,905 --> 00:21:34,746
Are you working on your novel?
382
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,587
Please, I don't want
to talk about my writing.
383
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,753
I have to get that tape
back for Mr. Eaton.
384
00:21:39,878 --> 00:21:42,374
He's got 2 kids. It's a sexless marriage
but he loves her.
385
00:21:42,499 --> 00:21:44,889
Who cares about that guy?
Are you gonna get yourself maimed
386
00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:47,221
for $100...
$50 if we split it?
387
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,048
What do you think, George?
388
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,047
I don't really have an opinion.
389
00:21:51,172 --> 00:21:52,795
I'm too stoned to think.
390
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,729
But I'm having a really good time.
391
00:22:01,205 --> 00:22:02,592
I thought he saw us.
392
00:22:02,717 --> 00:22:04,867
The pot's making me so paranoid.
393
00:22:11,252 --> 00:22:14,422
- She's alone in there. I'm going in.
- I think we should just give up.
394
00:22:14,621 --> 00:22:16,501
There's no problem with failure.
I do it often.
395
00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:18,836
But if I can get her alone
I can reason with her.
396
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:23,007
It's okay. She had two orgasms.
She must like me.
397
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,426
- How do you know she wasn't faking?
- She wasn't.
398
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:29,042
- Two orgasms?
- Yes, it was kind of amazing. I'm...
399
00:22:29,673 --> 00:22:32,383
Anyway, and I could tell
that she felt bad when he tasered me.
400
00:22:32,508 --> 00:22:34,291
I think she really likes me.
401
00:22:34,416 --> 00:22:35,937
Will you reason with him?
402
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,563
I think he should go in.
403
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,072
See?
Now listen.
404
00:22:39,594 --> 00:22:42,402
If that guy comes back you need
to call my cell phone and warn me.
405
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:44,070
Definitely.
I can handle that.
406
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,238
All right.
407
00:22:45,679 --> 00:22:47,429
I'm counting on you guys.
408
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,304
So please no more pot.
409
00:22:52,512 --> 00:22:54,122
Just keep an eye out, okay?
410
00:22:54,635 --> 00:22:57,635
She's gonna face the music
and I'm gonna play it.
411
00:22:59,329 --> 00:23:00,448
Good luck.
412
00:23:10,368 --> 00:23:11,931
What are you doing here?
413
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:14,767
I want the tapes...
Not just mine, all of them.
414
00:23:15,101 --> 00:23:17,411
- You followed me?
- Of course I followed you.
415
00:23:17,536 --> 00:23:21,277
And I want my tape and
Mr. Eaton's and my money
416
00:23:21,402 --> 00:23:23,651
and I guess that's it.
417
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:25,254
You know Mr. Eaton?
418
00:23:25,907 --> 00:23:27,007
He hired me.
419
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,891
I'm a private detective.
420
00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:31,766
I'm also a writer
with a bad Amazon ranking,
421
00:23:32,074 --> 00:23:34,162
but that doesn't mean
I can't call the cops.
422
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:35,656
No cops, please.
423
00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:37,541
Why not?
It's the next logical step.
424
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,625
It wasn't my idea.
My brother made me do it.
425
00:23:40,060 --> 00:23:41,560
The cops won't care.
426
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,548
You'll probably get at least
five years for extortion.
427
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:45,492
But...
428
00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:49,469
You could call me when you get out.
429
00:23:50,422 --> 00:23:53,913
My brother's got gambling debts.
If I didn't help they're gonna kill him.
430
00:23:54,038 --> 00:23:56,338
And this was what you came up with?
431
00:23:56,970 --> 00:23:58,896
If he made you do this...
432
00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:01,155
Even if we had a good time...
433
00:24:01,454 --> 00:24:03,775
Then I'm not sure he's
a brother worth saving.
434
00:24:05,843 --> 00:24:09,370
So give me those tapes
and your word that you'll stop,
435
00:24:09,495 --> 00:24:12,366
- and I'll leave the cops out of it.
- You promise?
436
00:24:12,809 --> 00:24:15,036
Now give me those tapes
and the money.
437
00:24:33,256 --> 00:24:35,431
Here.
We only did it twice, I swear...
438
00:24:36,535 --> 00:24:37,935
You and Mr. Eaton.
439
00:24:39,093 --> 00:24:40,493
He was a nice guy.
440
00:24:41,820 --> 00:24:43,481
But you liked me better, right?
441
00:24:44,646 --> 00:24:45,942
I don't want to compare.
442
00:24:52,195 --> 00:24:54,200
- Oh, shit.
- You gotta call Jonathan.
443
00:24:54,442 --> 00:24:56,192
- What?
- Call Jonathan.
444
00:24:58,157 --> 00:25:00,711
- I can't get a signal.
- Stupid New Jersey.
445
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:03,876
Don't go in the house.
446
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,198
He went in the house.
We gotta go in there.
447
00:25:08,323 --> 00:25:09,632
We gotta go in the house.
448
00:25:09,816 --> 00:25:11,425
What the fuck are you doing here?
449
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:15,366
Wait wait, what do I use
for a weapon?
450
00:25:19,457 --> 00:25:20,691
She extends?
451
00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:31,647
We're business partners.
452
00:25:31,772 --> 00:25:33,406
- Really?
- All three of us.
453
00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:34,574
Kill!
454
00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:41,339
Damn!
455
00:25:49,467 --> 00:25:51,754
Get in the car.
George, come on.
456
00:25:55,111 --> 00:25:56,354
Come on, go!
457
00:26:02,084 --> 00:26:03,519
Hurry.
He's gonna catch us.
458
00:26:03,887 --> 00:26:04,687
Floor it.
459
00:26:04,892 --> 00:26:06,740
I am. This car sucks.
460
00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:11,944
Shit.
461
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,440
Fuck you.
462
00:26:20,311 --> 00:26:22,830
You too.
We did it!
463
00:26:29,929 --> 00:26:31,362
This is not good.
464
00:26:31,897 --> 00:26:34,550
Let me handle this.
Is there a problem, officer?
465
00:26:37,738 --> 00:26:40,504
I think this is the best night
I've had in years.
466
00:26:40,909 --> 00:26:43,284
It's 5:30 in the morning, George.
467
00:26:43,642 --> 00:26:46,854
Come on, what's wrong with you guys?
Show some team spirit.
468
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,689
The cops found Ray's pipe.
469
00:26:49,071 --> 00:26:50,911
We already smoked everything.
470
00:26:51,036 --> 00:26:52,818
It's not illegal
to have a glass pipe.
471
00:26:53,004 --> 00:26:55,354
Residue.
Plus driving while impaired.
472
00:26:55,499 --> 00:26:57,933
Hey, fellows, listen to me.
Don't worry, all right?
473
00:26:58,058 --> 00:27:01,410
The magazine has had a criminal lawyer
on retainer for years.
474
00:27:01,739 --> 00:27:03,989
I'm gonna make all of this go away.
475
00:27:04,297 --> 00:27:07,566
Sometimes one has to embrace
one's place in society.
476
00:27:07,691 --> 00:27:09,919
Leah is gonna kill me
when she sees that fender.
477
00:27:10,585 --> 00:27:11,754
And we lost Janet.
478
00:27:14,559 --> 00:27:16,159
I'm sorry about Janet.
479
00:27:17,961 --> 00:27:21,222
But, the car just needs a little work.
We'll find a body shop.
480
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:25,184
- I can't afford a body shop right now.
- I have a solution for that too.
481
00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,952
I'm full of solutions.
482
00:27:27,262 --> 00:27:28,612
I want to pay you
483
00:27:29,266 --> 00:27:33,270
and Jonathan to collaborate on a comic
for the magazine
484
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,860
about this whole case.
485
00:27:35,124 --> 00:27:38,072
I mean, my original cover story idea
was way too grandiose.
486
00:27:38,431 --> 00:27:40,428
But a comic is better, right?
487
00:27:40,553 --> 00:27:42,505
I mean, comics are really in now.
488
00:27:42,779 --> 00:27:44,704
Could be fun.
We've never worked together.
489
00:27:45,020 --> 00:27:47,522
I don't give a shit about that.
I need the money.
490
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,544
No, thank you for a great night.
491
00:27:51,820 --> 00:27:54,654
I am still stoned.
That was really good pot.
492
00:27:55,678 --> 00:27:57,186
God.
Don't say that.
493
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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