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1
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:14,897
Do you love books?
Oh, my God
2
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,778
Sorry Are you Dimitri?
3
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:24,449
That's not the code
Sorry
4
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,584
I love books and books love me
5
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Better I'm Dimitri
6
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- I'm Jonathan Ames.
I know
7
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Thank you for suggesting
that I bring Gogol's The Nose
8
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:39,514
In addition to being a private detective,
I'm also doing some writing on the side
9
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and I have always loved novels
10
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Me too Turgenev, Dostoevsky, Gogol
11
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these were my cellmates in prison
12
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They kept me alive for three years
13
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,604
Prison? Why were you in prison?
14
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,611
It's not important Let's sit and talk
15
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,658
I need you to find a woman
16
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,499
That's my specialty I've found several
17
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,880
Good She is the great love of my life
18
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,507
She is all I thought about in prison
19
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,509
How long were you with her?
20
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,046
One night
Just one night?
21
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:25,593
One night, if the love is perfect,
is all you need
22
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,887
Also I was arrested the next day
23
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:33,024
We met in Brighton Beach
Very romantic Have you ever been there?
24
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,607
No, my girlfriend Suzanne
always wanted to go
25
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,238
to those nightclubs
out there but we never did
26
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,069
And then she broke up with me
27
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,860
Of course Because you don't
take her where she wants to go
28
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,699
So what did you offer her to stay?
29
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:47,410
Diamonds, gold, a car with sunroof?
30
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:52,249
No, I just begged And I
31
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,710
- Cried?
A little
32
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,795
Good It's natural
33
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,927
But also, if you want to keep a woman,
you have to be strong
34
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:04,556
Women need us to be
commanding and decisive
35
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:08,435
But do they?
I don't know Maybe they do
36
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,311
They do
37
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,564
So my woman
38
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,692
I don't know her real name,
39
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,568
only her stage name
40
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,447
Irenna, the Lonely White Dove
41
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:24,076
Hm
She was singer at Cafe Tatiana
42
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,409
I want you to go there
I'm happy to go to this club for you
43
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,199
But why don't you just go?
Lt'll save you my fee
44
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,868
My parole officer
won't let me out at night
45
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,832
That's why I find you on Craigslist
46
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,839
Also I got apartment, exercise bicycle,
47
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,091
and you, my own private detective
48
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,799
I'm your man then I'll go to Tatiana
49
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,180
Spasibo
50
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,509
Please find my woman
51
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,655
Do you think I lost Suzanne
because I didn't take her places
52
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,614
or do you think I lost her
because I was indecisive?
53
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,906
Probably both But I can't think
about your failed relationship right now
54
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:14,167
I have to tell you,
I'm in a bad way, Jonathan
55
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:17,704
Why? What's going on?
The magazine's numbers are way down,
56
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,044
newsstand, subscriptions, advertising
57
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,675
It's very bleak and it's all my fault
58
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,337
It's not your fault
All magazines are dying
59
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,301
Yes, yes, but a few will survive
60
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,841
It's Darwinian See, we need to adapt
61
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:32,011
I need to adapt
62
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,351
Our biggest problem
is our female demographic
63
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,984
See, we've lost over 37 per cent
of our women readers
64
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,145
- That is a lot of women.
I know
65
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,905
So what's the plan,
hire more women writers?
66
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,615
That's a good idea, actually
That'll be the second step
67
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,655
The first step, though, is to change me
68
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,415
See, if I'm right,
the magazine will be right
69
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,417
But how are you going to change?
70
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,206
You told me once that after the age
of 55 it's impossible to change
71
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:03,671
That's why my therapist
is suggesting something radical
72
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,678
He wants me to experiment
with bisexuality
73
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,307
What?
Mr Christopher, I need to clean in here
74
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,936
Yes, of course. Yes, of course. Um, sorry.
Uh
75
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,853
He says it will help me
appeal to women readers,
76
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,194
put me in touch with my feminine side
77
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,609
Your therapist sounds crazy
- I know, I know.
78
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,699
But most therapists are
That's what gives them insight
79
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,911
This is insane
What can I say, Jonathan?
80
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,077
I am desperate to help the magazine
I'm willing to try anything
81
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,211
But if you experiment with bisexuality
82
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,748
you'll just be more gay,
not necessarily more feminine
83
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:47,420
That's fine I mean, who designs
women's clothing? Gay men
84
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,838
Who do women find attractive? Gay men
85
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,007
Who writes women's TV shows?
86
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,766
Gay men
87
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,224
I really think it's my only choice
88
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,980
But have you ever experimented before?
89
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,142
No But I do have an open mind
about the whole thing
90
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:06,609
You know, Laurence Olivier
and Danny Kaye were lovers
91
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,194
Really?
Mm hm, yeah
92
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:11,451
And oddly enough, they're
two of my favourite actors of all time
93
00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:15,081
They were like two sides
of this strange coin
94
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,990
Hamlet and the court jester,
95
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,251
the dark prince and
the Technicolor clown
96
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,835
It's amazing
It's hard to imagine them as lovers
97
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,592
Sorry to put this in such
old-fashioned terms,
98
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,219
but who do you think played
the woman in the relationship?
99
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,132
Danny Kaye He could do a lot of accents
100
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,392
That way Olivier could have
a different woman every night
101
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,001
I'll have a white wine
102
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,559
I was wondering if you could help me
103
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,597
I'm looking for a singer,
Irenna, the Lonely White Dove
104
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,366
I don't know if you gentlemen
heard my question,
105
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:41,249
but I'm looking for Irenna,
the Lonely White Dove
106
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:45,082
You're a tourist?
No, no, not exactly I live in Brooklyn
107
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,373
Then come sit down,
have a good Russian meal
108
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,088
Vodka, caviar,
109
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,503
blini, semga
110
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,479
Excuse me, who's that beautiful singer?
111
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,482
Oh, that is Basha You have no chance
112
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,865
She's not interested in penis She's a Sappho
113
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,992
Oh, I'm not I didn't mean
114
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:20,076
Do you know, is there a singer here
named Irenna, the Lonely White Dove?
115
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,116
Her old boyfriend is looking for her
116
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,035
We don't have a Lonely Dove
We have a Lonely Sparrow
117
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:28,626
She sings tomorrow
Great Thank you
118
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,508
Oh, thank you
119
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,964
Na zdorovie!
Na zdorovie!
120
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,848
Is vodka really made from potatoes?
121
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,915
- Ha-ha!
Hah!
122
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,668
Hah! Whoo!
123
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,226
I'm really hungover from that vodka
124
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,729
You gotta write something
I do my best work hungover
125
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,266
I have less brain cells
to confuse the issue
126
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:34,109
I did this yesterday morning
right after I barfed all over the place
127
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,068
You're not that big
128
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:40,281
In my mind I am Huge but underused
129
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,366
Why are you drawing this?
It's a story about
130
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,747
being a sperm donor to Lisa and Michelle,
131
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,624
and how Leah won't sleep with me
132
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,376
This editor at Esquire is really into it
133
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,708
Really great work
134
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,965
Uh I'm sorry, I feel so sick
135
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,921
Let's go get a drink right now
136
00:09:55,970 --> 00:10:00,339
Oh, quit kidding around I gotta drink more
tonight I'm going back to that club
137
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:04,760
I'm supposed to find out
if the Lonely Sparrow is Irenna
138
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,850
Actually, I had a really
fun time there last night
139
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,936
I can't believe I never took
Suzanne to Brighton Beach
140
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,818
Why don't you take Suzanne tonight,
you know?
141
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:17,651
You guys haven't had any break up sex, right?
It's been a couple of months
142
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,443
You're due
Maybe you're right
143
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:25,489
If you do call her, maybe Leah and I could go?
Tonight we're working on our intimacy issues
144
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,500
But if the four of us go,
that's not very intimate
145
00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:31,413
Yeah, but if you go we won't fight,
146
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,625
and that's really good for intimacy
147
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,634
Mi vida loca
148
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,771
Hello
149
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,103
Suzanne, it's Jonathan
150
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,485
I know What's going on?
151
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:59,114
First of all, I just want to say
I'm really sorry about what happened
152
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,491
the last time I saw you
with your Al Anon friend
153
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,699
Let's not talk about it
Well, I want to make it up you
154
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,863
You know how we never
went to Brighton Beach
155
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,202
because I thought it was
too long of a subway ride?
156
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:13,040
Well, you and I are going
out there tonight
157
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,331
That's right I found this great place
158
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,796
We'll eat dinner, drinks, dancing
159
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:22,212
You know I don't want to see you drinking
I was talking about water
160
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,098
We'll drink water
after we dance to rehydrate
161
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,634
What is this about?
Nothing
162
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,896
I'm just feeling really decisive, you know?
163
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,354
I want you to have the Brighton Beach
night I never gave you
164
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,361
I don't think we should be
going on a date, Jonathan
165
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,738
It's not a date It's platonic
166
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,695
Dancing is platonic?
Yes, dancing is platonic
167
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:47,158
We'll stay three feet away from each
other the whole night, I promise
168
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,244
And there's gonna be lots
of people there, Ray and Leah
169
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,454
Blah, blah
170
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,494
Lots of people
171
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:57,210
Well, I guess I did always
want to go
172
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,249
We don't even have to sit
next to each other
173
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:04,763
I'll sit across the room the whole night
sending you platonic love notes
174
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,923
What's a platonic love note?
175
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,724
I just thought it was
going to be you and me
176
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,684
Well, Jonathan knew
where this place was
177
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,190
and it just seemed easier
if we all came together
178
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,272
Plus, he split the car service with me, so
179
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,234
If it meant being alone,
I could have paid for the car
180
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,820
Well, tonight is on me and Jonathan
181
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,985
Oh, good
182
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,290
A little bit of potato sauce
183
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,075
Thank you
184
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,383
What are you doing?
185
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,920
I'm zapping it like Iceman
from the X Men series
186
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,135
Remember when I drew them for Marvel?
187
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,347
Can we please not talk
about comics for one night?
188
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:55,765
OK To the prettiest girl in Brighton Beach
189
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,728
That's better
190
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,644
A kiss
191
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,148
Hi, Leah Hey, Ray
192
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,192
- Hey, want some vodka?
OK
193
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:11,158
I thought there would be more people here
I thought there would be less
194
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,994
Well, we don't know these
people yet, but you'll see,
195
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,329
pretty soon it'll be like a big Russian wedding
196
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,246
By the end we're all gonna
know each other pretty well
197
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:23,508
Unlimited vodka here,
this is where the value is
198
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,919
To the drug Czar
199
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,464
- Cheers.
Cheers
200
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:31,974
Mm
201
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,887
I thought you said
you weren't drinking tonight
202
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:38,397
Oh, well, it was just a celebratory toast
203
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,434
You know, when in Moscow
204
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,359
I'll switch to water now So, to water
205
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,740
To water
206
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,908
Oh, that's good
207
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,039
Let's all dance
That's a good idea
208
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,746
No, my toes are all fused
My toes are fused
209
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,036
Come on, don't be a baby
210
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:05,250
It's been a while
since we danced together
211
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,006
Sir
212
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:18,855
I know I said we would
only dance three feet apart but
213
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,266
is two feet OK?
214
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:24,402
Yeah, I guess two feet is OK
215
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:28,235
Isn't this fun?
Yeah, it really is
216
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,861
You can come closer if you want
217
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,079
Really?
218
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,213
Everyone please sit down
219
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,423
Ladies and gentlemen,
220
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:54,307
welcome to the stage
221
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:58,516
Nadya, the Lonely Sparrow
222
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:31,761
I think that's the woman I'm looking for.
She is beautiful
223
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:35,719
What are you guys talking about?
Sorry, do you know her?
224
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,259
No, no, not at all Not yet
225
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:43,022
It's it's complicated
226
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,308
Oh shit It's George
227
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,317
I'm sorry, I have to take this
228
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,526
But you're having fun here, right?
229
00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,737
We're in Brighton Beach
230
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,275
I'm sorry
231
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,621
Hello, George
232
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,906
Wait, hold on It's loud here
233
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,618
Sorry, George What's up?
234
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,663
What if I do this and I don't come back?
235
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:10,208
What do you mean?
That I turn completely gay
236
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:13,128
Well, then it was meant to be
237
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:19,054
You know what? You're absolutely right
238
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,641
I have to remember that it helped
Jann Wenner's career
239
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,853
All his magazines thrived
after he became homosexual,
240
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,563
really boosted sales
241
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,477
Thank you
242
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,566
OK, um, so
243
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,071
Do you know how I could
find a male escort?
244
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,112
No, I don't know
Sorry, what? The reception's bad here, what?
245
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,201
I don't know how to find a male escort
246
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,536
Well, you should know these things
- No, I shouldn't.
247
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,669
Look, just Google
"male escort New York City"
248
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:50,923
Wait, I can't hear you
The reception is terrible Is it me or you?
249
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:54,460
Just Google
"male escort New York City"
250
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:59,929
Actually, Google "gay male escort
New York City"
251
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,644
George, I've gotta go
I'm at a Russian nightclub
252
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,726
A Russian nightclub? Oh, hey, I want to go
253
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,732
Sorry about that
My friend just Never mind
254
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:16,946
You guys work here, right? Can you tell me,
did Nadya the Lonely Sparrow
255
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,736
used to be Irenna
the Lonely White Dove?
256
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,404
Why you want to know so much?
257
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,994
Last night you told waitress
258
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:27,501
a boyfriend is looking
for the Lonely Dove
259
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,458
Who's the boyfriend?
Who do you work for?
260
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:34,877
Nobody Look, let's just forget it
OK? I've forgotten it
261
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,215
So I'm just going to go back inside
262
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:40,257
You are a fool
Hey, hey, hey Ow Don't touch me
263
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,925
Wait, wait, wait
My friends are inside, OK?
264
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,436
I've already paid for two meals $38
265
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,345
Don't ever come in here again
266
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,641
- What about my friends?
Fuck friends
267
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,525
Hey, come on, get your hands off me
268
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,781
If we see you here again we will break you
269
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,489
Shit Shit
270
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:09,081
Aaah!
Uh, you work for Dimitri?
271
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,837
He's my friend
272
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,419
She wants you to call her
273
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,676
The girl, the singer, Irenna
274
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,088
Call her tomorrow, huh?
Who are you?
275
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:24,180
I cannot talk to you It's not safe for me
Wait, can you help me get back in there?
276
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,514
My girlfriend's in there
277
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,398
Ray?
278
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,951
I say in the ad that
I'm an unlicensed private detective,
279
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,203
which makes it more legal, sort of
280
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,661
Anyway, the guy I'm that
working for is an ex con,
281
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,918
but he's a real romantic
and I'm trying to help him
282
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:57,003
Are you guys listening to me?
I'm listening
283
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,341
Thank you, Ray
You've got to see this from my perspective
284
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,471
I thought that tonight was gonna be
285
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,802
the Brighton Beach night
that we never had
286
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,515
Remember that's what you told me?
And I stupidly believed you
287
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,146
Instead you drink vodka
and you leave me alone
288
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,776
while you chase after some Russian singer
because you're investigating a case
289
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,563
But I was doing it in the name of love
Somebody else's love, but
290
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,699
You weren't doing this
for anybody else but you
291
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,827
You're selfish
You live in a selfish fantasy world
292
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:29,575
- Suzanne, please...
Please do me a favour and don't talk to me
293
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,368
The next subway, please, sir
294
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,756
At least it wasn't me
this time, right, baby?
295
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,294
Ow Hey
296
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,719
Hey, look, for what it's worth,
I'm on your side
297
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,186
Irenna?
298
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,605
Yes And you're the private cop?
299
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:04,742
Yes, or detective or investigator
They all work
300
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,699
Thank you for coming
I don't like the phone
301
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,785
It's OK It's beautiful here
302
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,498
So, let me make sure
I got things straight
303
00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:16,960
You used to sing as
the Lonely White Dove
304
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,588
- Is that right?
Yes
305
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,626
Why did you switch
to the Lonely Sparrow?
306
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,260
I like birds
307
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,672
Every year I'm a new bird
and always a lonely bird
308
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,263
Maybe you won't have to be lonely any more
309
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,267
Dimitri hired me to find you
310
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,606
Why?
311
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,266
Because he's in love with you
312
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,984
- He is still in prison?
No
313
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:45,650
He's out and he wants to see you
Do you want to see him?
314
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:55,164
Yes, I want to see him very much
315
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,955
Thank you very much, my little detective
316
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,731
My my therapist suggested I try this
317
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,517
Medical advice, really
318
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:24,690
You're coming out of the closet?
Well, no, not exactly
319
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:27,609
No, see, I'm trying to get in touch
320
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,152
with the feminine side of my nature
321
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,911
You see, I'm I run a magazine
322
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,248
And we've lost nearly half
of our women readers
323
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:41,789
and I've got to reach them somehow
324
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,049
And you think that this will help you?
325
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:47,757
Maybe You know, I'm just
You know, I want to open my mind
326
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,889
If you want to open your mind,
327
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,306
don't think in terms of male and female
328
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,346
I mean, it's binary It's boring
329
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,309
How about no definitions?
330
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:03,149
- Have you read Klaus Kinski's memoir?
I haven't
331
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,813
You're talking about
Werner Herzog's muse?
332
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,942
Yeah Kinski could fuck
or get fucked It didn't matter
333
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,111
He did what he wanted to.
He defined himself
334
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:15,156
He was all sexes, beyond definition
335
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:18,121
You want your magazine to do better?
336
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,252
Try to be like Klaus Kinski
337
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:25,674
Have you read a Woody Allen story,
The Whores Of Mensa?
338
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:29,257
I haven't. But I love Woody's prose
even more than his movies
339
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:33,057
So
340
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,640
you want to give this a try?
341
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:40,056
I mean, I think that
you're a good looking guy,
342
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,934
kind of like a buff Samuel Beckett
343
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:49,986
So I'm escorting
Dimitri to Tatiana's tonight
344
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:53,744
And he says he needs me to be his backup,
especially since he's breaking parole
345
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,370
- He said backup?
Yeah
346
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:59,125
That sounds dangerous
He explained it's a Russian wingman position
347
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:01,251
- I'm an excellent wingman.
I don't know
348
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:03,458
You should never
have gotten involved with this guy
349
00:23:03,506 --> 00:23:06,464
Leah's still mad that I took her
to that club last night
350
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,466
and ruined our first date in three months
351
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:11,254
I know I am sorry, Ray
She shouldn't be mad at you
352
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,719
It's my fault
Yeah, it is your fault
353
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,884
And now to make up for last night's disaster
I'm doing timed massages
354
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:20,930
It's an intimacy exercise
She's out buying an egg timer right now
355
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,848
An egg timer?
Are you really going to be
356
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:27,862
this guy's backup Russian wingman?
Yes, I gave him my word
357
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,898
He thinks I'm a brave detective
358
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,861
And he's already paid me $200
359
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:35,403
OK, well, in that case
I have something for you
360
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:45,129
These are my uncle's
They mean a lot to me
361
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:49,508
He died of cirrhosis of the liver.
These were also his Here
362
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,878
Drink up Don't lose those
363
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,638
Ray, I'm excited
364
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,099
I got a really good egg timer
365
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,897
I love the boardwalk.
It reminds me of the Black Sea
366
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,689
Only I wish the girls were
topless like in Russia
367
00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:13,232
In America people are shy and disturbed
368
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,822
I don't know, why be scared
of the naked breast?
369
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,908
I've never been to a topless beach
Oh, I hope you go
370
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,574
Listen, I was thinking
about you yesterday
371
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:25,995
You should take this girl that you loved
and bring her here to Brighton Beach
372
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:28,835
Maybe you'll get back together
and get married
373
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,045
Wow, you must be psychic or something,
374
00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:34,087
because last night I tried that
375
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:37,506
And, well, I screwed the whole thing up
376
00:24:37,558 --> 00:24:40,800
Oh, I'm sorry
That's all right
377
00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:45,348
It's like my heart's broken again,
but it's not as bad since I'm used to it
378
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:50,068
Irenna You found her!
379
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:52,150
Irenna
380
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:54,406
Irenna
381
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:57,363
My brother is in prison
because of you, bastard!
382
00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,200
Hey, hey, hey
Go home, private dick
383
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,327
This doesn't involve you
384
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:05,288
Hey
385
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,235
Ow! Ow!
386
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,200
Come on, come on
387
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,035
- This way, Jonathan.
Aah!
388
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:49,669
We hide here
389
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:54,170
Oh, shit Oh, shit
What are you doing?
390
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,676
Extra hiding We're gonna die
391
00:25:56,722 --> 00:26:00,010
We're not gonna die
You're fine You did good
392
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,301
You saved me I am grateful to you
393
00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:05,844
I did OK?
Yeah, you are real man
394
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,355
You showed me tonight, very brave
395
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,313
You hit the boss right in the nose.
It was beautiful
396
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:14,444
- I wasn't actually aiming for him.
What?
397
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:17,653
Nothing Uh, nothing I was just I
398
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,862
I'm just glad we took those jerks out
399
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:23,621
So wait, what happened with you
and Irenna's brother?
400
00:26:23,664 --> 00:26:25,325
Why did she turn against you?
401
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,867
We were doing a deal
and when the cops got me, they got him
402
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,754
- And he's still in prison?
Yeah
403
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:35,633
I didn't think she would hold it against me
after our night of great tenderness
404
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,554
But now my love for her is buried
405
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:45,517
But I will go on like you did,
with a broken heart
406
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:48,304
Shh
407
00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:53,601
What do we do now?
408
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:55,986
They go this way, we go this way
409
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,360
OK
410
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,999
Goodbye, my new friend
411
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,205
I don't know if I'll ever see you again,
412
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:14,543
but I hope your heart is broken many times,
413
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,253
because it means
you will have loved many times
414
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,769
Hi, George Listen, I know it's late
415
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:34,855
I'm sorry to bother you, but I have had
the most incredible, insane night
416
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,689
Would you want to meet for a drink?
417
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:40,777
Now's actually not a great time
for me I have company
418
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:43,317
Do you remember what
you told me to Google?
419
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:46,407
Holy shit H How's it going?
420
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:50,745
Well, I'm no Danny Kaye,
if you know what I mean
421
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:54,127
I love Danny Kaye,
especially The Inspector General
422
00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,754
- Really?
Yeah
423
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,417
I have The Inspector General
We could watch it if you'd like
424
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:02,336
- I have all of Danny Kaye's films.
I would love that
425
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:05,051
Hey, Jonathan, we're gonna watch
The Inspector General
426
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:08,342
You could come over if you like
He's a really nice guy
427
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:32,992
I hope Jonathan does not
lose those brass knuckles
428
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,502
Could you please
not talk about Jonathan?
429
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:38,630
This is an intimacy exercise about us
430
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:41,667
I'm sure he's fine
431
00:28:41,717 --> 00:28:46,267
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