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1
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,803
Hey hey, be careful with that
2
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:04,436
That was our bed, you know, guys?
3
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,523
I had heard that the Israelis had
cornered the moving business
4
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,560
like the Greeks with diners, but, I mean,
5
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,274
it seems unusual, you know,
to have Jewish movers
6
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,235
Right? Doing such muscle oriented work?
7
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:20,198
What are you, another
self hating New York Jew?
8
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:24,411
Mm hm Yes, I am Yeah
9
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,690
Yeah No
10
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,986
Bye
11
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,868
Are you sure about this?
12
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,503
You're saying this now,
after the truck is loaded?
13
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,666
I don't know Yes I don't know Yes
I don't know I don't want to lose you
14
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,927
See, this is the problem
It's only because I'm out the door
15
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,803
that you're finally asking me to stop
16
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,931
It's like you don't take action
until it's too late
17
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,262
I'm taking action now Don't go
18
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,018
Jonathan
19
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,679
It doesn't matter
20
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,438
Whoa, whoa, whoa What?
21
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,476
I told you months ago
that if we were gonna make this work
22
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,689
you had to stop drinking
and smoking pot
23
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,651
And you didn't That was our deal
24
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,487
- It's dangerous to go cold turkey.
Oh!
25
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:45,120
I'm down to white wine
I can't help it, all right?
26
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,872
I still like the way pot makes me think
27
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,500
Maybe it's healthy
Pot's not healthy
28
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,581
They give it to cancer patients
29
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:56,874
You don't have cancer
Not yet
30
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,964
Goodbye, Jonathan Let's go
31
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,635
Please
32
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:08,769
Come on I get it, all right?
33
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,521
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm crazy
34
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:15,229
I'll quit the pot And the white wine
35
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,989
- She left you?
Yeah I'm an idiot
36
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,778
Too much pot and white wine
37
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:31,166
She was sweet I liked her
But you gotta rebound fast
38
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,203
That's the best cure
I mean, just go on Craigslist
39
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,042
Yeah, I don't know
40
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,582
Maybe it's too soon I feel like
41
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,921
Jojo, what did you do?
42
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,621
Ah!
43
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,098
Hello? Oh, hey, Ray
44
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:16,013
That sucks, man I thought you guys
were just mildly unhappy
45
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,524
It happened all of a sudden
She announced the move two days ago
46
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:23,562
Are you destroyed? You gotta be destroyed,
right? Are you destroyed?
47
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,106
Last time I was heartbroken
I felt like someone
48
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,868
had put on my head
one of those falcon hoods, you know,
49
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,995
and all I could see
was complete darkness
50
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,905
- A falcon hood?
Yeah
51
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,824
Anyway, why didn't you tell me?
52
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,833
Because I thought she was bluffing
53
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,120
I didn't think she would
actually move out
54
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:44,337
And then out of nowhere these
super efficient Israeli mover guys show up
55
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:48,220
All of a sudden it's like the raid
on Entebbe in my own apartment
56
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,765
Let me get my computer.
What is the raid on Entebbe?
57
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:57,225
It's It was an Israeli tactical, uh,
group of peop
58
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,232
Fuck it, I don't know.
You used the words "falcon hood"
59
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,360
I know what a falcon hood is
Everybody knows what a falcon hood is
60
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,611
- Really?
Yeah
61
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,988
Falcon hood, anyone?
62
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,408
Raid on Entebbe?
63
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,364
OK, we're even
64
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,326
Anyway, do you think you can get her back?
- No, I don't think so.
65
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,787
I feel like Suzanne
started to think that I was a loser
66
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,669
because I'm struggling to write,
I mean, this second novel...
67
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,955
Yeah, listen,
just yesterday Leah was like,
68
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,921
"Why don't you teach art in a public school?"
I'm not gonna teach art at a public school
69
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,256
I don't wake up till 11am "Go teach art"
70
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,763
But if you did teach
it would be a steady income
71
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,346
Don't be disgusting
72
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,102
Those women were into us
because we were artists
73
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:42,016
And then reality hits
and no money and no real future,
74
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,649
and then, you know pfft
75
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,856
Leah is gonna break up with me
any minute now
76
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:50,115
- I mean, we haven't had sex in weeks.
We are losers
77
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,116
- We're not losers, OK?
We are
78
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,869
Look, you're gonna be
on my website next week
79
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,407
I made you a therapist Look at that
80
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,585
I wish you'd made me someone more heroic
81
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,371
You are heroic
82
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:08,087
Therapists are heroic
They're the heroes of listening
83
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,254
Next time give me some big muscles,
some superpowers
84
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,265
At least in your comic I can be a hero
85
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,222
Yeah, but look at that picture of me
It's pretty cool, isn't it?
86
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,864
Hello
I saw your ad
87
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,653
What? What ad?
88
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,743
Craigslist, Missing Persons
89
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,829
Yes, of course I'm sorry
90
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,962
Most of my clients are word of mouth,
so I forgot about my ad
91
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,588
How can I help you?
92
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,171
It's about my sister I think she's missing
93
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,926
What do you mean, you think?
94
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,964
She hasn't answered her phone for two days
and her voicemail is full
95
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:59,100
And I came up from Philadelphia to go to
a concert with her and she's not in her dorm
96
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,057
Where are you?
Let's discuss this in person
97
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,641
Rachel?
98
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,177
- Mr Ames?
Yes
99
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,063
- Can I sit down?
OK
100
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:48,566
Very nice to meet you
I'm really glad you found me on Craigslist
101
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,478
I love Craigslist
I use it for everything
102
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:55,739
I didn't know what to do so I typed in
"missing persons" and found you
103
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,243
And you said your rates were reasonable?
They're very reasonable
104
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,998
They're $100 for the day
105
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,658
I guess I can afford that
106
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,952
Great OK Then down to business
107
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,964
- Do you have a picture of your sister?
No
108
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,170
Wait, I do on my phone
109
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,050
Great
110
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,808
Who's that?
Her gross boyfriend Vincent
111
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:25,016
What's gross about him
besides that tattoo?
112
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:29,104
I don't know
He's English, and he's a bartender
113
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,644
- And he's old, like, 30.
That's not old I'm 30
114
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,444
Anyway, they fight all the time
115
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,327
My sister says
even though Vincent is a total jerk,
116
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,077
they have amazing sex
117
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,081
Guys who are assholes
are always the best at sex
118
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,539
It sucks. I don't know why
the world is like that
119
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:53,548
But nice guys can be good too, you know
thoughtful, attentive, just loving
120
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,925
Whatever.
I think Vincent's a meth head
121
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,961
And she wanted to break up with him
122
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,346
And maybe he went homicidal on her
123
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,723
Break ups can be hard on a guy
124
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,307
What?
My girlfriend moved out today
125
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,223
It's actually kind of upsetting Um
126
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,358
Are you really a private detective?
127
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:17,564
Yes I think the thing to do is find this Vincent
128
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,192
Find him, we find her
129
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:24,283
Cherchez I'homme
I don't understand you
130
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:28,701
Oh, instead of "cherchez la femme"
I'm gonna try something different
131
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,994
Cherchez I'homme
Do you speak French?
132
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,663
No, I'm taking Spanish
133
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:37,379
Espanol It means "find the man"
134
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:48,053
- Where did Lisa meet Vincent?
At the bar where he works
135
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,721
The Parkside Lounge
136
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,686
Everyone at NYU goes there
because they don't card
137
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,647
Hi, George
Where are you?
138
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,313
I'm working, uh, a job
139
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,108
Don't forget you're working
for me tonight It's important
140
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,698
Right, I know I'll be there, OK?
141
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,408
OK
Bye
142
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,322
Another case closed
143
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,414
Are you really a professional?
144
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,381
As I put in my ad, I'm not licensed
145
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,714
But I will find your sister, I promise
146
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,844
I want to help you
147
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:30,471
I hope everything will be all right
This whole thing is really weird
148
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,732
Don't worry Get home
I'll call you later tonight, OK?
149
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,437
Penn Station
150
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,790
Hey, Niko
151
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:59,048
Where have you been? George is pissed
He's drunk already?
152
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:02,335
Don't pull that Anglophile bullshit, OK?
He's pissed as in angry at you
153
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,380
The party's almost over
All we've got left are D list celebrities
154
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,765
He wanted you to get
good quotes for the party page
155
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:11,223
I know I'm sorry I've had a bad day
Well, what happened?
156
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,184
Suzanne moved out, broke up with me
157
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,850
I'm sorry to hear that
It's all right
158
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:20,566
How are you and Sam doing?
Actually, we broke up too
159
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:25,359
That's strange, that we should both be going
through break ups at the same time
160
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,402
Actually, I'm happier alone
161
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,741
The only reason
to be with somebody is to have sex
162
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:34,535
I don't need sex When you're doing it, it's OK,
but when you're not it's like, what's the point?
163
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:38,080
Yeah, I guess
164
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,420
Oh, here comes George
I'd better get to work
165
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,420
Do you have any pot?
166
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:48,089
Uh, yeah
Of course you do
167
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,105
That's very clever of you
168
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,983
That's what you used to do
before you quit smoking pot
169
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:02,691
That's why I thought it was clever
I'm still off pot, by the way,
170
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,948
except when you tempt me,
which is very very bad of you
171
00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:10,871
What? This is my Viagra bottle
172
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,282
What are you doing
with marijuana in my Viagra bottle?
173
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,871
You gave me that bottle months ago
174
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,582
There were two pills left in it
You told me I should try them
175
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,373
Now I'm putting my pot in that
Are you insane?
176
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,008
What if you got arrested
for marijuana possession?
177
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,668
Page Six would have a field day
178
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,804
I can't have
179
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,934
Hello? Hello
180
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:36,559
I can't have the world
knowing that I use Viagra
181
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,020
Do you really need to take so much?
- Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
182
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:44,062
My heart medicine and heavy drinking
have taken a toll
183
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,823
I'm not what I once was
184
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:51,953
But I accept that It's called humility
185
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,205
Then why are you back on pot?
186
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,788
Because I'm bored
187
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,919
God, I'm bored
188
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:03,047
Death by a thousand dull conversations
189
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,753
I don't know what's going on,
190
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,544
almost everybody has
bad wine breath tonight
191
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,428
It's like Chernobyl out there
192
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,097
Do you think we drink too much?
193
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,384
No, no, we don't drink too much
194
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,638
Men face reality and women don't
195
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,808
That's why men need to drink
That's a line from my novel
196
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,817
Yeah, well, you stole it from me
197
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,024
No, I didn't
Yeah, actually you did
198
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:29,066
Actually no, I didn't
- Fine, Jonathan.
199
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,485
Anyway, Suzanne moved out today,
because she says I drink too much
200
00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:34,869
Well, I'm not surprised
201
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:39,285
Why do you say that?
Because you're like me, Jonathan
202
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:43,000
We enthral and then we disappoint
203
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:46,462
It used to take me several years
Now it's a couple of weeks
204
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:49,720
If I'm with a woman longer than that
then there's something wrong with her
205
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,756
But why? Why are your
relationships so short now?
206
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,676
Ah Well, I
207
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,554
I don't lie as well as I used to, I guess
208
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,223
Well, that means you're more honest
209
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,614
No
210
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,910
These one hitters
should really be called three hitters
211
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,447
You can steal that line too if you want
212
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,456
Well, I hope that answered your question
Thank you
213
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,880
Parkside Lounge, Manhattan
214
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,029
Is Vincent Ellis working tonight?
215
00:16:08,079 --> 00:16:11,162
What would you like?
Uh, just some white wine
216
00:16:11,791 --> 00:16:15,124
No, wait Whisky, no ice
217
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:31,049
- Excuse me.
Yeah?
218
00:16:31,102 --> 00:16:35,391
I called earlier tonight Someone told me
that Vincent started working at nine
219
00:16:35,439 --> 00:16:39,273
You spoke to me He called a little while ago,
said he wasn't coming in
220
00:16:40,611 --> 00:16:42,147
Do you know where he might be?
221
00:16:52,498 --> 00:16:53,954
What do you want to know?
222
00:16:53,999 --> 00:16:57,366
Do you know where he lives?
He's not listed in the phone book
223
00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:00,503
I'll tell you one thing, he's not home
224
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,833
Can you tell me another thing then,
like where he's at?
225
00:17:04,885 --> 00:17:07,046
He's at the Velma Hotel
226
00:17:07,096 --> 00:17:09,428
He didn't tell me,
but it came up on the caller ID
227
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:13,591
Thanks for the information
You've been very helpful
228
00:17:22,111 --> 00:17:24,648
I've been laying off the whisky
229
00:17:24,697 --> 00:17:28,815
I've been on a white wine regimen,
trying to save a relationship
230
00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:31,200
Good for you
231
00:18:00,274 --> 00:18:02,310
Is there a Vincent Ellis staying here?
232
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,522
Vincent Ellis?
Fuck you
233
00:18:13,329 --> 00:18:16,742
Have you seen these two?
Fuck you
234
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:18,908
Come on, man,
you don't have to curse so much
235
00:18:21,712 --> 00:18:24,704
Can I sit in the lobby and see if they come out
for cigarettes or something?
236
00:18:24,756 --> 00:18:27,998
No, you can rent a room
237
00:18:28,052 --> 00:18:30,259
60 for three hours, 90 for the night
238
00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:32,886
You do that, you can sit in that chair
239
00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:40,185
Do people use their
real names in this place?
240
00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:25,477
Did I miss anything? Did they go out?
241
00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:27,141
Don't say it
242
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:32,654
I saw the man He went out
and came back in already, with beer
243
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,986
Wait, what about the girl?
No girl
244
00:19:35,035 --> 00:19:36,946
What room is he staying in?
245
00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:42,456
- 313.
246
00:19:53,387 --> 00:19:57,255
Vincent? Vincent Ellis?
247
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,758
What the hell is going on out here?
248
00:20:00,812 --> 00:20:02,848
Nothing I'm sorry
249
00:20:04,481 --> 00:20:06,392
You want a date, baby?
250
00:20:06,442 --> 00:20:08,353
I just had a client cancel on me
251
00:20:09,612 --> 00:20:13,651
You know, I can't right now, but thank you
252
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,190
Um
253
00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:19,364
What the fuck is going on?
Are you Vincent Ellis?
254
00:20:20,581 --> 00:20:21,616
No
255
00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:27,168
It's OK It's OK I'm here to help you
Your sister sent me Everything is fine
256
00:20:27,212 --> 00:20:30,545
- I'm a private detective.
What? Eh?
257
00:20:30,591 --> 00:20:32,627
Wait, whoa, whoa
Get out of my room
258
00:20:32,677 --> 00:20:35,384
- Put that out. Put that out.
Get out of our room
259
00:20:35,429 --> 00:20:37,340
Go on
- Put that out, come on.
260
00:20:37,389 --> 00:20:39,801
- Get out of our fucking room.
Come on!
261
00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:41,511
Vincent, no!
262
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:45,682
Go on!
263
00:20:51,111 --> 00:20:52,976
Who the fuck is calling you?
264
00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:55,316
Can you wait one second, please?
265
00:20:55,366 --> 00:20:58,779
It's my boss calling. I'm gonna answer it.
He hates if I don't answer it
266
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:03,366
Hello, George
Ames, I'm craving marijuana I can't sleep
267
00:21:03,415 --> 00:21:06,373
You got me started again
Can you come over?
268
00:21:06,418 --> 00:21:08,784
Don't blame me You're the one
who asked for pot at the party
269
00:21:08,837 --> 00:21:10,702
But I really can't come over right now
270
00:21:10,756 --> 00:21:13,122
Don't be a milquetoast
Where are you, Brooklyn?
271
00:21:13,175 --> 00:21:15,587
Hop in a car service I'll pay
272
00:21:18,138 --> 00:21:20,504
Are you at a party? Are there women?
273
00:21:20,557 --> 00:21:21,922
Get out
274
00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:24,934
Uh, I have to go, George
No, I'll come to you
275
00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:27,971
I have to go, George Bye
Who the fuck are you?
276
00:21:28,023 --> 00:21:30,981
I'm a private detective.
Rachel Klein asked me to look for Lisa
277
00:21:31,026 --> 00:21:34,018
Why is she tied to the bed?
I don't believe you're a detective
278
00:21:34,071 --> 00:21:36,528
Well, I'm not a licensed private detective
279
00:21:36,573 --> 00:21:38,484
I'm a writer
280
00:21:39,326 --> 00:21:42,568
Ah Well what kind of writer?
281
00:21:42,621 --> 00:21:44,953
A novelist, some journalism
282
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:48,617
But I've been struggling with my second novel
They're the hardest to write
283
00:21:48,752 --> 00:21:51,744
I write Yeah, I write songs
284
00:21:51,798 --> 00:21:54,414
It's really what I want to do with my life
285
00:21:54,466 --> 00:21:56,002
That's cool
286
00:21:56,885 --> 00:22:01,424
But listen, what's going on?
Lisa's sister is really worried
287
00:22:01,473 --> 00:22:03,464
They were supposed to go to a concert
288
00:22:03,517 --> 00:22:06,054
Well, I'll tell you what's going on
289
00:22:06,103 --> 00:22:09,436
She broke up with me
I'm trying to put things back together
290
00:22:09,481 --> 00:22:13,099
Really?
My girlfriend broke up with me
291
00:22:13,152 --> 00:22:16,644
She moved out today I'm pretty upset
292
00:22:16,696 --> 00:22:19,108
And you just let her go?
293
00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:23,075
That's not cool
You have to be a man when that happens
294
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,076
Are you kidding me?
295
00:22:25,122 --> 00:22:27,738
Yeah, yeah, I let her go
296
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:31,079
Why is Lisa tied to the bed?
I don't like the looks of that
297
00:22:31,128 --> 00:22:34,086
Well who are you to judge?
298
00:22:34,131 --> 00:22:36,747
Eh? We're role playing
Yeah Stockholm syndrome
299
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,382
That's why we got this sleazy room,
to make it authentic
300
00:22:39,428 --> 00:22:43,171
Huh I've always been intrigued
by Stockholm syndrome
301
00:22:43,223 --> 00:22:45,464
It makes me think of my childhood
302
00:22:45,517 --> 00:22:48,259
Yeah, well, she's supposed
to fall in love with her captor
303
00:22:48,312 --> 00:22:50,598
In this case, fall back in love
Hm
304
00:22:50,647 --> 00:22:53,684
I should have tried that
305
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:57,772
Can I come out now?
306
00:22:57,822 --> 00:23:00,780
All right But you'd better be cool
307
00:23:07,122 --> 00:23:10,285
What's that smell?
Meth
308
00:23:10,334 --> 00:23:12,620
Oh, come on, man,
you can't smoke meth
309
00:23:12,669 --> 00:23:16,537
It's all chemicals I have pot
It's natural It's better for you
310
00:23:16,590 --> 00:23:19,548
- Can I have a hit?
Yes
311
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,093
Do you want a hit? Can we take
the washcloth out of her mouth?
312
00:23:24,139 --> 00:23:27,176
No, we need to stay in our roles
313
00:23:27,226 --> 00:23:29,933
Also she still wants to break up with me
314
00:23:29,978 --> 00:23:33,687
and I really don't want to hear about it
315
00:23:33,732 --> 00:23:36,064
My girlfriend broke up with me
because she says
316
00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:38,943
I smoke too much pot
and drink too much white wine
317
00:23:38,987 --> 00:23:40,602
She's right
318
00:23:40,656 --> 00:23:44,365
How can you love someone
if you're in a fog the whole time?
319
00:23:46,830 --> 00:23:49,617
You want a hit of meth?
- I've never, but if...
320
00:23:49,665 --> 00:23:51,326
Police!
321
00:23:51,375 --> 00:23:53,536
Shit Fuck
Uh, coming
322
00:23:53,585 --> 00:23:56,372
Um Get rid of this
323
00:24:00,259 --> 00:24:01,669
Open up
324
00:24:05,597 --> 00:24:07,087
OK
325
00:24:10,310 --> 00:24:11,641
Can I help you, officers?
326
00:24:11,686 --> 00:24:13,847
There was some kind of fight
going on up in there
327
00:24:13,897 --> 00:24:15,979
Excuse me
328
00:24:17,526 --> 00:24:20,063
Oh, God
Clears throat)
329
00:24:23,198 --> 00:24:27,441
Are these two men abusing you?
I'm fine They're not abusing me
330
00:24:27,494 --> 00:24:30,486
That is my ex boyfriend
Don't say that
331
00:24:30,539 --> 00:24:33,246
But I don't even know who that guy is
332
00:24:34,001 --> 00:24:37,744
I think there's something wrong with him
All right, step out in the hallway, sir
333
00:24:37,796 --> 00:24:39,502
- I was just trying to help.
Uh huh
334
00:24:39,548 --> 00:24:42,210
I'm a writer
Mm hm, let's go
335
00:24:49,892 --> 00:24:52,474
So let me ask you
336
00:24:52,519 --> 00:24:54,635
why'd you pull this Craigslist stunt?
337
00:24:54,689 --> 00:24:56,975
For the money?
- No, not at all.
338
00:24:57,024 --> 00:24:59,185
I wasn't in my right mind, OK?
339
00:24:59,234 --> 00:25:02,397
My girlfriend just broke up with me
I don't wanna hear about your love life
340
00:25:02,446 --> 00:25:06,689
I actually lost money on this whole thing
I forgot to tell the little sister about expenses
341
00:25:06,742 --> 00:25:10,109
In the books I've read, the private detective
always asks for expenses
342
00:25:10,162 --> 00:25:13,279
I've spent 80 on bribes, 60 on a hotel
343
00:25:13,332 --> 00:25:15,664
All right, shut up Listen
344
00:25:15,710 --> 00:25:17,701
You didn't actually break any laws
345
00:25:17,754 --> 00:25:20,791
And the girl and her boyfriend
are not filing a complaint, after all
346
00:25:20,839 --> 00:25:22,670
Whew
So we'll do some paperwork
347
00:25:22,717 --> 00:25:26,130
I'm not breaking up with you,
but you had better get that tattoo changed
348
00:25:26,178 --> 00:25:28,635
I'm sick of looking at that "Lisa"
right on your belly
349
00:25:28,681 --> 00:25:30,797
- It's your name!
Um
350
00:25:30,849 --> 00:25:34,762
But that's the other Lisa
Can you wait one second, sir? Just
351
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:39,645
Lisa Lisa! Call your sister
and let her know you're all right
352
00:25:39,692 --> 00:25:43,105
Or I can call her
I already called her, asshole
353
00:25:47,742 --> 00:25:49,858
Thanks for not pressing charges
354
00:25:49,910 --> 00:25:52,242
What is your problem?
I was just
355
00:25:52,287 --> 00:25:54,573
Don't you ever pull a stunt like this again
356
00:25:54,623 --> 00:25:57,615
If you go back on that Craigslist
and impersonate an investigator,
357
00:25:57,668 --> 00:25:59,204
you're gonna end up in Rikers
358
00:25:59,253 --> 00:26:01,995
And I don't see you thriving
in that environment
359
00:26:22,401 --> 00:26:25,768
Hey
We gotta sit outside
360
00:26:25,822 --> 00:26:28,734
Some early morning
post natal yoga class exploded
361
00:26:28,782 --> 00:26:30,818
It's like a nursery in there I got you coffee
362
00:26:30,866 --> 00:26:32,572
Thank you
- OK, so look.
363
00:26:32,619 --> 00:26:34,860
I'm glad you called me,
cos I want to talk to you too
364
00:26:34,913 --> 00:26:38,576
You can go first, but I gotta tell you
I had a really wild night last night
365
00:26:38,625 --> 00:26:41,287
OK, let me go first and then you, OK?
366
00:26:41,336 --> 00:26:45,420
So I'm at Leah's last night I'm laying in bed
I'm waiting for her to put her kids to sleep
367
00:26:45,465 --> 00:26:49,549
Last night was supposed to be the night that
we, you know, broke our cold streak sexwise
368
00:26:49,594 --> 00:26:52,631
So she's putting her kids to sleep
and I'm waiting and I'm thinking,
369
00:26:52,681 --> 00:26:54,842
"I want to be put to sleep.
I want to be tucked in
370
00:26:54,891 --> 00:26:56,802
"I want to be the only child
in a woman's life"
371
00:26:56,852 --> 00:27:00,561
So anyway, I'm waiting She finally comes
to the bedroom around 10:30 and she goes,
372
00:27:00,605 --> 00:27:02,345
"Can I shut my eyes for ten minutes?"
373
00:27:02,399 --> 00:27:04,811
That turns into the rest of the night.
She was out cold
374
00:27:04,860 --> 00:27:07,943
- That's terrible, but you would not believe...
I'm not
375
00:27:07,988 --> 00:27:10,229
Oh, I'm sorry
Do you want to say
376
00:27:10,282 --> 00:27:12,614
No, no, if you're not
OK, just let me
377
00:27:12,658 --> 00:27:15,024
So then I leave around one am
378
00:27:15,078 --> 00:27:17,535
She's been calling all morning
"How can you abandon me?
379
00:27:17,581 --> 00:27:20,493
"How can you be so insensitive
to my abandonment issues?"
380
00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:22,453
And there's only so much that, you know
381
00:27:22,502 --> 00:27:25,209
It sounds so awful, but listen to me
382
00:27:25,255 --> 00:27:27,621
I got into a really What?
383
00:27:27,674 --> 00:27:29,756
- There's Leah.
What?
384
00:27:35,849 --> 00:27:39,717
How dare you leave me in the middle
of the night like a one night stand?
385
00:27:39,770 --> 00:27:43,262
One night stand? I wish it was
You should have stayed and held me
386
00:27:43,315 --> 00:27:46,682
What am I, a hot-water bottle?
I'm a man I have needs
387
00:27:46,734 --> 00:27:50,067
You call this monogamy?
I call it celibacy
388
00:27:50,113 --> 00:27:51,728
Those are big words for you
389
00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:53,942
Did you read them
in one of your comic books?
390
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,405
I read them in my diary
391
00:28:56,513 --> 00:28:59,380
Jane Lessing? Jonathan Ames
392
00:29:00,350 --> 00:29:02,966
Yeah, I believe I can help you
393
00:29:03,016 --> 00:29:07,566
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