Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,642
Do you guys mind recording a
birthday message for my mum?
2
00:00:04,643 --> 00:00:06,106
Oh, yeah, OK.
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,651
Yeah, if you come over
here so that it's all...
4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:14,109
- OK and...
- Do you not want to be in it?
5
00:00:14,110 --> 00:00:16,127
- Go!
- Oh, hi.
6
00:00:16,128 --> 00:00:18,532
Hi, Clive's Mum, happy birthday.
7
00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:20,533
- Hi, Clive's Mum, happy birthday.
- Hi.
8
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,923
- Have a good one.
- Hope you're having a good day.
9
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,039
Don't get too drunk.
10
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,079
- I hope you get a really nice present.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,120
Cos that's what you would like.
12
00:00:28,121 --> 00:00:30,800
And all mums deserve
that right, Clive's mum?
13
00:00:31,654 --> 00:00:34,200
- And hope Clive got you flowers.
- And action.
14
00:00:35,475 --> 00:00:37,713
- Oh!
- You weren't filming that?
15
00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:39,663
Happy birthday, Clive's Mum!
16
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:41,984
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
17
00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:05,959
Subtitles by explosiveskull
18
00:01:06,102 --> 00:01:09,190
Today at Northend Airport
the staff await their morning
19
00:01:09,191 --> 00:01:12,309
briefing with Chief
Inspector Linda Proctor.
20
00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:15,602
It can sometimes be a subdued
affair but today the agents
21
00:01:15,603 --> 00:01:17,623
are in for something of a shock.
22
00:01:17,624 --> 00:01:21,149
Morning! Morning,
morning, morning, morning.
23
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,709
Ah, there you go.
24
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,789
Ha! What a beautiful morning it is too.
25
00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:28,599
- Look, I brought you all coffee.
- Oh, well, oh...
26
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,679
You doing something different
with your hair, Andy?
27
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,635
- No, no...
- Well whatever it is,
28
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:36,079
you're looking mighty fine!
29
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,200
Woo! OK, everyone, have a fantastic day.
30
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,159
What's with this?
31
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,639
Ah, I know, so bitter.
32
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:51,280
- No, this... that.
- It's like she's been smoking the old PCP.
33
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,439
Maybe she just had a nice dream?
34
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,424
Didn't have any nightmares.
35
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,959
Listen, I know you're all talking about me,
36
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:02,600
it's very simple I've... I've
just been given the all clear.
37
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,240
Ah! Only joking! I've just given
up the booze... just for a month.
38
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,479
I thought she was dying.
39
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,359
Yeah, so I've just decided to
have a bit of a detox, you know,
40
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,999
give my liver a bit of a cleanse.
41
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,040
Stop looking at life through
the golden telescope of Chablis.
42
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,799
Plus I woke up at the weekend
in the shower at a Premier Inn,
43
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,160
covered in sick with my
tights wrapped round my head!
44
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,879
I heard that once she got so
drunk she woke up on the baggage
45
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,919
carrousel... at JFK Airport.
46
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,279
I heard that she'd wear two
pairs of socks on a night out,
47
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,759
in case on her way home she needed a shite.
48
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,679
She would step into a doorway
and use one of the pairs of socks.
49
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,719
Once she got so drunk she took a bin
to school instead of her daughter.
50
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,559
She dressed it and everything.
51
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,919
Why doesn't she just
use a packed of tissues?
52
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:13,239
I heard that once she got so
drunk she woke up inside a beehive,
53
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,439
and she was the queen
bee... So stupid, sorry.
54
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:23,440
I heard that she drank a
bottle of wine... over dinner.
55
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,679
Oh, you want a real one, sorry.
56
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,879
Erm... no, they're too dark.
57
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,239
After the fun and games of their initial
58
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,759
reaction, Agents Church and
Mansoor now take a moment to
59
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:39,039
seriously consider Proctor's
newfound life goals.
60
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,959
So, erm, how long do you think she'll last?
61
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,839
- Oh, wait, what's the time?
- You don't think she'll last a day?
62
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,519
- Not one day.
- She'll last a month.
63
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,359
There's a reason that she
started her dry month on the 25th.
64
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,766
She won't last until
lunch, I can guarantee you.
65
00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:53,839
That's... I mean give
the woman some credit.
66
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,279
Do you wanna make it interesting?
67
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,199
Fifty quid?
68
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,439
- Yeah?
- A bet OK.
69
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,679
Or we, er, go up to London,
70
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,519
make a night of it... loser pays?
71
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,282
But how can we make a night of it if
we have to get the last train home.
72
00:04:07,283 --> 00:04:08,877
We could just stay over.
73
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,799
Yeah, or we could just
bet on the money instead.
74
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,359
Yeah just the cash,
75
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,531
- just the cold hard cash.
- End of the month.
76
00:04:18,532 --> 00:04:20,611
- End of the day. OK.
- OK.
77
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,186
One of the good things about
Brexit is that we're seeing a return
78
00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:29,839
to the Great British workman.
79
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:33,199
Now I'm not anti-European, I
love Lidl, and I think the Poles
80
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,919
are great, you know, they've
all worked here in the
81
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,599
past and fantastically
hard workers they are too.
82
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,200
But it is lovely to see a
local tradesman like Barry.
83
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,854
- Huh, I'm from Manchester actually.
- Yeah, well working class then.
84
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,039
Nah, my parents are both doctors.
85
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,850
- British though...
- I'm actually half Spanish.
86
00:04:52,851 --> 00:04:55,319
OK. Sure, whatever. How's it coming along?
87
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,159
Yeah, it's still at
the investigative stage.
88
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,479
Rough time scale? I've got a lot of
women with crossed legs out there.
89
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,559
Difficult to say, there's
a lot of imponderables.
90
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,559
- But definitely today?
- Yeah, yeah,
91
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,160
unless it's tomorrow.
92
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000
Right, well, do your best.
93
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,999
While Proctor struggles to
deal with the handsome plumber,
94
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,079
at passport control Agent
Brodie's about to encounter
95
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,799
plumbing complications
of a different nature.
96
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,319
Oh...
97
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,519
Sorry, madam.
98
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,639
Are you attempting to travel
on someone else's passport here
99
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,799
- cos...?
- No, No.
100
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,639
The thing is your passport here
it says Alec Barnes and well,
101
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,280
clearly you're not Alec Barnes.
102
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,199
It appears that Alicia Barnes
is attempting to travel on a
103
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,519
passport belonging to her
pre-transition identity Alec Barnes.
104
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,999
Shitting Norah.
105
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,359
Situation I'm in right now,
106
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,479
is fairly tricky.
107
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,359
I'm dealing with someone
from the transgender community
108
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:07,919
and I have to be very, very
careful how I go about this.
109
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,079
I have to do a couple of, erm, checks.
110
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:17,079
The whole Alec/Alicia interface thing.
111
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,640
Can I... can I get you anything?
112
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,840
Yes.
113
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,879
- You can get me a fucking lawyer.
- Oh, my.
114
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,840
I was thinking more like
a... like a cup of tea,
115
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,039
- or like a Hobnob.
- Fuck's sake!
116
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,640
This is an infringement of my human rights.
117
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,199
It's just a biscuit. I wasn't
thinking straight and I asked her
118
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,200
if she wanted a Hobnob, you know.
119
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,320
Out of all of the biscuits.
120
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,839
While Agent Brodie finds himself
several miles out of his comfort zone,
121
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,839
Proctor has one clear goal.
122
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,559
To get the ladies toilets fixed.
123
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,839
Barry, how's it going?
124
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,919
- Oh, cracking on, yeah.
- Found out what the problem is yet?
125
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,159
- Yep.
- What is it then?
126
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,559
- I doubt you'd understand.
- Try me, I did a DIY evening class.
127
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,879
- It's the ABS.
- The ABS?
128
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,428
- The...
- Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene.
129
00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:19,799
- Yes...
- Which is?
130
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,455
- The...
- ...Drainage pipe. Yeah... yes,
131
00:07:22,456 --> 00:07:25,119
- you could have just said drainage pipe.
- You said you were an expert in plumbing.
132
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,039
I didn't really say I was an expert
in plumbing, anyway how much longer?
133
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,848
Well, it's difficult I
keep getting interrupted.
134
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,160
By who?
135
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,480
Right you are then.
136
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,039
Yeah, I'm doing really good,
137
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,559
it's only day one obviously but
I feel much clearer in the head,
138
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,359
I feel like I can cope with anything.
139
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,519
I have given up drinking before.
140
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:53,120
For 9 months actually when I was
pregnant and that was worth it.
141
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,999
Meanwhile Agent Church is
confident that she might have
142
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:03,119
what it takes to gain the trust of Alicia
Barnes until the situation can be resolved.
143
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,519
Hi, Alicia, this is my
144
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,679
colleague Andy Church.
145
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,287
- She's a woman so...
- Yes.
146
00:08:11,288 --> 00:08:12,479
Hi, how are you?
147
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,959
Do you have any idea how
disrespectful you people are being?
148
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,359
I understand how frustrating it can be.
149
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,599
My name's Andy so often people
mistake me for a bloke as well.
150
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,119
Oh and that's the same is it?
151
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,467
I mean it's mainly in emails so I don't...
152
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,759
That is in no way fucking equivalent!
153
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,119
Mmm, absolutely, yeah.
154
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,400
No, I... Yeah. OK.
155
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,950
- Andy?
- Mmm, no, I've gotta...
156
00:08:34,951 --> 00:08:36,040
Andy...
157
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,079
Erm... In America,
158
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,560
some girls are called Jamie.
159
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,599
Somewhat bruised from her
encounter Agent Church heads to
160
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,519
baggage handling where she knows no one
will ask her to do anything difficult.
161
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,400
Simple, yeah. Where the lychee at?
162
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,000
Watch this...
163
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,159
You ain't gonna get it you know.
164
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,200
Where the lychee at?
165
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,720
Yeah. I know, he always puts
it in the middle every time.
166
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,519
OK, yeah, beginners luck and that innit?
167
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,319
Oh, where the lychee at?
168
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,120
Just stop putting it in the
middle it's always in the middle.
169
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,106
You might stand a chance of fooling someone
170
00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:23,799
if you stop putting it in the middle.
171
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,479
I didn't even think I
put it there that time.
172
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,079
- It's going round so fast.
- Are you ready?
173
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,439
Bruv, I'll close my eyes and do it. Go on.
174
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,126
Don't close your eyes cos you won't know...
175
00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:32,160
Where's the lychee at?
176
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,440
It's in that one, cause I
didn't put it in the middle.
177
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,159
Why did you close your eyes?
178
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,119
- Yeah, but it's always in the middle?
- It's not...
179
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,039
Back in the interview room Agent
Brodie's trying to explain the
180
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,999
complexities of the case to Alicia
Barnes as tactfully as he can.
181
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,439
So you left the UK on this passport?
182
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:53,119
Yes... and I transitioned in the States.
183
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,919
And you haven't travelled anywhere
184
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,719
- else on this passport?
- No.
185
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,719
Cos you see, the problem here, that I have,
186
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,519
is that as it is Alec
Barnes who left the UK...
187
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,319
Alec Barnes no longer exists!
188
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,079
I completely understand that, Alicia.
189
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,274
But maybe he could just
exist for a few minutes
190
00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:14,559
in order for you to get
through passport control.
191
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:15,719
I'm trying to help you out here.
192
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:20,239
I mean do you...? Do you have a...?
193
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,639
Do you still
194
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,480
have a...? Yeah.
195
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,440
Yeah. No...
196
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,079
No. Imagine if it was
like... if we were in a
197
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,559
gameshow and it was like Stars
In Your Eyes and I was like...
198
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,479
You were like "Oh, tonight,
Grant, I'm gonna be..."
199
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,879
and then you went through and
you came out and you were like
200
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,079
"Oh, I'm Alec Barnes," and
then you just went straight
201
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,080
through passport control and
then you were like, "I've won."
202
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,480
I'll just...
203
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,080
I'll...
204
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,840
Oh, I got you... It's
not a Hob... It's a fudge.
205
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,000
I should have picked the Kit Kat.
206
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,680
? We're taking over today! ?
207
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:23,257
? We're taking over today! ?
208
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:27,328
You need to get right down. Yeah. And up.
209
00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:29,223
And up.
210
00:11:29,224 --> 00:11:33,024
And then one arm, and
down, and up, and down.
211
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:37,143
And up. OK, not so good with that one.
212
00:11:37,144 --> 00:11:40,183
Stand up. Right, let's
213
00:11:40,184 --> 00:11:41,783
see what your core's like.
214
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,144
Yeah, get down there, get your arms out.
215
00:11:45,224 --> 00:11:46,223
(PHONE RINGS)
216
00:11:46,224 --> 00:11:48,503
Yeah, Mum...
217
00:11:48,504 --> 00:11:50,384
Uh-huh.
218
00:11:52,614 --> 00:11:54,214
Erm...
219
00:11:55,294 --> 00:11:57,174
Hm...
220
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,814
Ohhhhhh!
221
00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,253
Ohhhhhh!
222
00:12:05,254 --> 00:12:07,534
Aaargh!
223
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,493
AAAARGH!
224
00:12:12,494 --> 00:12:15,853
- Hey, hey, hey.
- AAAAH!
225
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:17,773
Hey, you OK?
226
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:21,253
- I thought you weren't gonna come back.
- Hey, I'm back.
227
00:12:21,254 --> 00:12:23,373
- I thought that was it.
- I'm back, it's OK.
228
00:12:23,374 --> 00:12:27,493
Despite today's challenges
rapidly mounting, Proctor still
229
00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:30,373
maintains a teetotal cheery disposition.
230
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:34,093
Agent Mansoor, who's bet that
she'll fall off the wagon by the
231
00:12:34,094 --> 00:12:37,773
end of the day, is on hand to
help with any work-related issues.
232
00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:40,133
How's the repairs to the
ladies loo come along?
233
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,583
Yes, on schedule, yes.
234
00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:45,063
Yeah, it's just that I've got a lot
of the women out here up in arms,
235
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:48,103
you know. A lot of people out
there blaming you, you know,
236
00:12:48,104 --> 00:12:51,783
getting a bit angry, "Typical Proctor
fucking things up" is what I'm hearing.
237
00:12:51,784 --> 00:12:54,143
- Well, we can't have that!
- Yeah.
238
00:12:54,144 --> 00:12:57,663
Agent Mansoor returns to his
desk content in the knowledge that
239
00:12:57,664 --> 00:13:00,863
by keeping Proctor informed
of the situation, he's made a
240
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,943
valuable positive contribution.
241
00:13:03,944 --> 00:13:08,583
- Don't think I didn't see that.
- She's not gonna make it till lunch,
242
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:11,063
- such a shame.
- That's loading the dice.
243
00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:13,503
With the ladies toilets not likely to
244
00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:15,063
be fixed any time soon,
245
00:13:15,064 --> 00:13:18,263
Proctor has come up with an
elegant temporary solution.
246
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,743
There you go, can't complain now, can they?
247
00:13:20,744 --> 00:13:24,383
No, no it's a good idea you know,
we'll be like a forward-thinking,
248
00:13:24,384 --> 00:13:27,263
- modern tech company or something. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah,
249
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,633
let's just drop all this
250
00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:30,463
- gender binary rubbish and...
- Exactly.
251
00:13:30,464 --> 00:13:32,743
- Get with the 21st century.
- Yeah.
252
00:13:32,744 --> 00:13:35,303
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hi, Clive, what do you think?
253
00:13:35,304 --> 00:13:37,383
- It's really cool.
- Good, isn't it?
254
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,823
- Yeah, together.
- Yeah,
255
00:13:38,824 --> 00:13:40,371
- yeah, that's the point, yeah.
- Yeah.
256
00:13:40,372 --> 00:13:41,543
- Oh, we'll give you some...
- Oh,
257
00:13:41,544 --> 00:13:44,343
you're still, yeah... I
thought maybe use the cubicle...
258
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:45,358
Oh, Andy can you look at something for me?
259
00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:46,343
Erm...
260
00:13:46,344 --> 00:13:48,251
- It's on my desk.
- OK, yeah, that's fine.
261
00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:50,263
- Right. OK.
- Thank you.
262
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,624
Bye all.
263
00:14:00,704 --> 00:14:03,024
How do you guys always
know what room to be in?
264
00:14:05,984 --> 00:14:08,823
With the unisex toilets
an immediate success,
265
00:14:08,824 --> 00:14:11,823
Proctor checks in on Barry
the charismatic plumber.
266
00:14:11,824 --> 00:14:13,625
- Where've you been?
- Tea break.
267
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:14,783
Another one?
268
00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:18,063
Research suggests a 20 minute tea
break improves productivity by 17%.
269
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:21,463
Oh yeah, it hasn't improved yours,
it's the fourth tea break in two hours.
270
00:14:21,464 --> 00:14:24,263
I might have a vagina but
don't treat me like a cunt.
271
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,546
- What you saying?
- What I wouldn't give for a Pole.
272
00:14:26,547 --> 00:14:27,263
What was that?
273
00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:29,388
Oh nothing, please just
get on with your work!
274
00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:30,743
Did you just say you want a Polish plumber?
275
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,903
- Yeah, maybe I did.
- Well, why don't you go and find a Polish
276
00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:34,617
- plumber then because I'm done!
- Maybe I will.
277
00:14:34,618 --> 00:14:35,463
Good... you do that!
278
00:14:35,464 --> 00:14:37,144
- Thank you, yes I will.
- Well, good luck with it.
279
00:14:37,145 --> 00:14:38,143
Thank you very much,
280
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,183
- good luck with your journey home.
- Yeah, you too,
281
00:14:40,184 --> 00:14:42,303
- don't get stuck in traffic.
- I won't!
282
00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:44,224
Do you know any Polish plumbers?
283
00:14:45,424 --> 00:14:48,663
In the interview room passenger
Alicia Barnes is awaiting
284
00:14:48,664 --> 00:14:51,089
processing after being
detained for travelling
285
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,383
on her old pre-transition passport.
286
00:14:53,384 --> 00:14:56,103
There's two beetles inside the bottle...
287
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,703
Agent Brodie was already struggling to
288
00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:00,143
cope with the situation,
289
00:15:00,144 --> 00:15:02,863
but now to make matters
worse Agent Hassler has
290
00:15:02,864 --> 00:15:04,783
wandered in unsupervised.
291
00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:07,914
I wasn't supposed to
say they're in a bottle.
292
00:15:07,915 --> 00:15:10,543
What the fuck are you talking about?
293
00:15:10,544 --> 00:15:13,143
Sorry, it's been a bit of a weird day,
294
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:16,183
apparently there's a transgender
person in the airport.
295
00:15:16,184 --> 00:15:18,863
- Erm...
- I mean
296
00:15:18,864 --> 00:15:22,103
it's not weird, but we're kind
of like, "Whoa, what do we do?"
297
00:15:22,104 --> 00:15:23,394
What do you do?
298
00:15:23,395 --> 00:15:26,503
Speak to them, make them feel comfortable,
299
00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:28,263
not be like, "Ohh, what's that?!"
300
00:15:28,264 --> 00:15:29,801
- You know and pointing and laughing.
- Clive...
301
00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:31,263
- Like a freak.
- Yeah,
302
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,423
cos they might feel that
they get treated like...
303
00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:34,143
Clive...
304
00:15:34,144 --> 00:15:36,423
- She's right.
- Clive...
305
00:15:36,424 --> 00:15:39,943
Fortunately for Agent Brodie
the cavalry is about to arrive.
306
00:15:39,944 --> 00:15:41,984
Oh, my God, Clive, come on.
307
00:15:43,064 --> 00:15:45,383
I...your phone, your phone's on.
308
00:15:45,384 --> 00:15:47,663
My phone, sorry. Lovely to meet you.
309
00:15:47,664 --> 00:15:50,064
- We'll finish this later.
- Yes, great.
310
00:15:51,344 --> 00:15:52,344
Look after this one, OK?
311
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,325
Erm...
312
00:15:58,326 --> 00:16:00,583
With the ladies toilets
still out of action,
313
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,663
it seems Polish plumbers
are in short supply.
314
00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:07,264
Oh, hello. Could I speak
to Andre Kawolesky, please?
315
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:10,743
Yeah, he's gone back to Poland.
316
00:16:10,744 --> 00:16:13,703
OK, then what about his brother Jaromir?
317
00:16:13,704 --> 00:16:17,024
However, Proctor is about to
be offered an unlikely solution.
318
00:16:19,864 --> 00:16:20,908
Yeah, Proctor!
319
00:16:20,909 --> 00:16:22,543
- 'Sup.
- Hello.
320
00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:25,503
Er, listen we heard on
the... What's it called, bruv?
321
00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:27,863
- Grapevine.
- On the grapevine, thank you, Suji,
322
00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:29,823
that you are in need of
a plumber, is that right?
323
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:33,477
- Yeah, do you know one?
- We're experts in servicing pipes,
324
00:16:33,478 --> 00:16:34,103
you understand what I'm saying?
325
00:16:34,104 --> 00:16:35,983
I did all the pipes in my house and that.
326
00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:38,423
Yeah, ceiling pipes, floor pipes...
327
00:16:38,424 --> 00:16:40,263
- Stairs as well.
- Stair pipes,
328
00:16:40,264 --> 00:16:42,223
- I did all them, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Really?
329
00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:44,863
Well, that would be... I mean
that would be absolutely incredible
330
00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:46,418
if you could help. I would be so grateful.
331
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,119
Anything for you, P, yeah, yeah, yeah.
332
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,065
Great.
333
00:16:50,424 --> 00:16:52,624
Oh, right, yes.
334
00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:58,063
- There you go. Lovely.
- We'll get on that straight away, yeah?
335
00:16:58,064 --> 00:17:00,063
Thank you so much, much appreciated guys.
336
00:17:00,064 --> 00:17:01,663
- Thank you, Proctor.
- Brilliant.
337
00:17:01,664 --> 00:17:05,343
As Mo and Suj head off to grab their
tools and service the pipes in the ladies,
338
00:17:05,344 --> 00:17:09,143
Agent Brodie is using all of
his people skills to keep the
339
00:17:09,144 --> 00:17:12,063
simmering Alicia Barnes from boiling over.
340
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,463
Listen, Gimli.
341
00:17:13,464 --> 00:17:15,752
You're gonna go out there and
get me the paperwork I need
342
00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:18,663
so I can get out of this place.
343
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,663
And you can fuck off back
to the mines of Mordor or
344
00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:26,063
whatever fucking hole you came
from you irritating little hobbit.
345
00:17:26,064 --> 00:17:27,824
Go on, do one!
346
00:17:30,664 --> 00:17:32,424
Fucking hell.
347
00:17:34,784 --> 00:17:37,543
Gimli's a fucking dwarf,
he's not a fucking hobbit.
348
00:17:37,544 --> 00:17:41,383
Struggling now, Agent Brodie decides
this is way above his pay grade.
349
00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:42,783
- Linda...
- I was just getting
350
00:17:42,784 --> 00:17:44,263
rid of that, er, yes, what can I...
351
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,295
You're gonna have to go in
there and deal with her because
352
00:17:47,296 --> 00:17:48,183
I'm at the end of my tether.
353
00:17:48,184 --> 00:17:50,143
Look it's quite simple, Grant,
354
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:52,703
all you have to do is follow
procedure and stay calm, OK?
355
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:55,263
You've done the training,
you've been on the courses.
356
00:17:55,264 --> 00:17:56,943
Yeah, I've done the training,
357
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:59,343
been on the courses but
nothing can prepare you for...
358
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:02,623
- I'm telling you now she's feisty, Linda.
- For God's sake I'll do it myself.
359
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:05,623
Honestly, if you want to do anything
you have to do it yourself round here.
360
00:18:05,624 --> 00:18:07,556
- I'm waiting here.
- If you want anything done,
361
00:18:07,557 --> 00:18:08,863
ask a busy woman.
362
00:18:08,864 --> 00:18:14,423
Cos all the men are too busy being
intimidated, God's sake, feisty.
363
00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:18,863
Right... Fuck this
travesty, fuck this office!
364
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:23,384
Fuck all of your fucking
assistants and fuck you!
365
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:28,504
Yeah, she's... she's feisty.
366
00:18:31,864 --> 00:18:34,943
Just got this lovely bottle
of Brunello in duty free...
367
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,424
Oh, you're not drinking!
368
00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:43,400
That's entrapment.
369
00:18:43,401 --> 00:18:44,752
Really?
370
00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:49,263
With all of the agents now desperate
to avoid antagonising Alicia further,
371
00:18:49,264 --> 00:18:54,303
Agent Brodie takes a few minutes before
re-entering with a warm, placating smile.
372
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:56,783
So, how did you get on with my superior?
373
00:18:56,784 --> 00:18:59,944
- I need the fucking loo.
- All right, yep, yep, come with me.
374
00:19:01,904 --> 00:19:04,864
You see, here it is, that's er...
375
00:19:06,544 --> 00:19:09,263
- Er, I want to use the ladies.
- Ah, it's broked.
376
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:11,976
- Well, fix it.
- We are on to that Ms Barnes.
377
00:19:11,977 --> 00:19:12,943
In the meantime if you
378
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,423
- could just use this one.
- I'm not using the gents,
379
00:19:15,424 --> 00:19:17,973
- I'm not a man.
- No, it's not the gents, it's unisex.
380
00:19:17,974 --> 00:19:23,223
Yeah, it's unisex. It has a perfect
harmony of male and of the female.
381
00:19:23,224 --> 00:19:25,853
- It's unisex.
- Do you think sticking up
382
00:19:25,854 --> 00:19:28,383
a hand written sign is gonna fool me?
383
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,587
- Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?
- No.
384
00:19:29,588 --> 00:19:31,346
- No.
- Don't patronise me.
385
00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:36,743
Fuck this! You people are unbelievable.
386
00:19:36,744 --> 00:19:39,184
My lawyer's going to have an
absolute field day with you!
387
00:19:40,384 --> 00:19:44,172
- Oh...
- It's Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene...
388
00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:45,474
Yeah, I know that.
389
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,863
- But that's not your problem.
- Well, what's the problem?
390
00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:51,145
- Tell her Suji.
- Yeah, we're not plumbers.
391
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,703
- We ain't plumbers.
- God!
392
00:19:52,704 --> 00:19:54,663
Excuse me.
393
00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:57,023
After an unusually
cheerful start for Proctor,
394
00:19:57,024 --> 00:19:58,663
it's been a trying day.
395
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:01,383
With no resolution to the
issue of the broken toilets.
396
00:20:01,384 --> 00:20:02,744
OK, fine.
397
00:20:03,864 --> 00:20:07,263
However, back in the interview
room, Agent Brody finally has
398
00:20:07,264 --> 00:20:10,104
some progress to report
on the Alicia Barnes case.
399
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:15,183
Good news, Alicia.
400
00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:18,584
I've got your documentation
here, so you're good to go.
401
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,484
You know where you're going?
402
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:28,789
But it seems she found her own
solution to the plumbing problem.
403
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:31,070
I pissed in your bin.
404
00:20:32,721 --> 00:20:34,761
Funny...
405
00:20:39,074 --> 00:20:41,393
Oh, she's...
406
00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:48,081
She, erm, well, she really
did, she pissed in the bin.
407
00:20:49,139 --> 00:20:53,623
Erm... yeah, I'm gonna
get rid of this, I think.
408
00:20:53,624 --> 00:20:55,983
Carrying Alicia's parting gift,
409
00:20:55,984 --> 00:20:59,824
Agent Brodie heads to the
much maligned unisex toilet.
410
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:07,810
- Is that?
- A bucket of piss?
411
00:21:08,537 --> 00:21:09,803
Yes.
412
00:21:09,804 --> 00:21:11,684
Some people, eh?
413
00:21:16,578 --> 00:21:17,450
I don't have �50 on me.
414
00:21:17,451 --> 00:21:20,104
- Well, I can escort you to the cashpoint.
- Yeah, OK. Fine.
415
00:21:20,105 --> 00:21:22,614
As delicately as possible,
416
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,232
Agent Brodie finishes clearing
Alicia Barnes from Northend Airport.
417
00:21:29,886 --> 00:21:31,947
- Night, Linda.
- Night, Grant.
418
00:21:31,948 --> 00:21:34,257
Subtitles by explosiveskull
419
00:21:34,307 --> 00:21:38,857
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33572
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.