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No doubt about it
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I'm on my way
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Takin' over
I'm here to stay
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00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:17,400
One day you be lookin'
but there's no-one left
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Don't drop,
don't tell me to stop
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Cos I'll be taking over today
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I'm taking over this whole place
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I'm on my way to outer space
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Borderline S01E02 - The Hens
subs by havenofear
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00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:36,533
Every year, nearly 500,000 people
enter the UK annually every year.
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00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:39,933
At Northend airport, the agents
of Borderline remain effective
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00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:43,133
by working hard and staying
vigilant.
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00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:45,533
In this morning's briefing
about first aid,
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00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,400
Chief Inspector Linda Proctor wants
to emphasise the importance
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00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:50,600
of teamwork and professionalism.
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00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:56,467
Though this could be a challenge,
as she seems slightly preoccupied.
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So...
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00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,200
first aid.
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00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:03,733
Why is first aid so important?
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00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:10,133
Because if your co-worker needs
help, it's your job to support them.
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00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,533
Does that sound too hard?
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00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:15,200
Is supporting your partner
too boring?
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00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,333
Sounds pretty simple to me.
24
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:19,133
That's what marriage is.
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It's a mutual contract between two
adults who care about each other
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and support each other.
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Are you OK?
28
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:38,100
So, last night, my husband decided
that he was going to quit his job
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00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:40,700
and repair vintage motorcycles.
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Because apparently, being an
accountant
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for one of the biggest firms
in England is too boring.
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00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:49,800
Because jobs can't be boring, they
have to be fun all the time.
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I mean look at me, I'm...
having the time of my life.
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00:01:55,933 --> 00:01:57,733
As the agents settle at their desks,
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00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:02,467
it's clear that Tariq Mansoor is
also having a difficult morning.
36
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:04,933
Big night? Yeah, I went out with
some mates
37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,067
and I had half a bottle of Jaeger.
38
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,733
Oh, Jaeger. Did you take your
fake ID?
39
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,600
No, I don't need ID because
im a grown-up.
40
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,400
Grown-up that drinks Jaeger.
Did you go to Laser Quest, as well?
41
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,933
Um, no. I'm doing that next week.
Oh, OK. So what did you do?
42
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,133
Just stayed up and watched The Voice
battle round.
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The Voice battle round?
Yep, that's right.
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00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,200
Thanks for saying that so loudly.
The Voice battle round.
45
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,047
Just because I don't go out drinking
every night,
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00:02:26,127 --> 00:02:28,400
doesn't mean I'm not fun.
You know, I'm fun.
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00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:32,000
That's the window bit, so I've separated
that out. So, please don't move that.
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00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:34,667
That's the reference guide.
Also, if you think
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00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:37,333
you're forcing it in,
that's, that's not a fit.
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00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,867
You're having fun, right?
This is, this is fun.
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00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,800
That's so cool. It is cool, yeah.
That is cool.
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00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:46,733
As these two agents discuss who's
the least professional,
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00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,067
duty calls for agent Clive Hassler.
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00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,400
He faces the unusual situation of
stopping two passengers
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00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:53,933
from leaving the country.
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00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:56,533
It's not, it's not a
definite amount of time.
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00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:03,800
Just detained a Miss Allen
and a Miss Ferguson
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00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,400
who were on their way to a
hen party in Benidorm.
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00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:10,200
But one of them is too drunk to fly.
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00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:12,933
It's not a problem. You just,
you have to stop them
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00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,667
from getting aggressive, cos then
you have to call the police.
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00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,067
It's not a big problem for me,
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00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,533
I feel like I'm quite good at
keeping people calm.
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00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,000
They seem nice...
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00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,467
and a bit wild!
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00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:33,133
Meanwhile, agent Grant Brodie has
detained this Ukrainian passenger,
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00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,600
unlucky enough to be stopped
in a random spot check,
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00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:38,733
but for some reason he's hesitant
to enter the interview room.
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00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,600
He's been outside for nearly
12 minutes.
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00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:45,600
I just need to determine the
nature of your visit here.
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00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,800
Here to work, or, you know,
clean house?
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00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:52,067
No, I have a job back home,
I have a shop.
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00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,867
Oh, really?
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00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,067
What kind of a shop do you have?
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00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:59,400
Well, I sell Italian stockings
and underwear.
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00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,733
Lovely.
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00:04:03,867 --> 00:04:05,267
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
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00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,667
Yeah. Do you know, I was just
checking that
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00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:11,600
you weren't here to, you know,
take anybody's jobs.
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00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,867
Yeah.
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00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,533
So I just need to...
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00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,133
Do you have a return ticket,
Miss Panchenko?
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00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:23,067
Yes. it's a lovely picture.
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00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,200
Pachenko. Ah, Pachenko.
85
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,733
So, you're travelling alone?
86
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:32,000
Yes. No husband?
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00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:38,200
I'm single, no husband. Oh, I
wasn't, like, checking for me, or...
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00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:42,733
as... ahem, it's for my records -
THE records. That's OK.
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00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:49,200
While agent Brodie continues to
interrogate his detainee,
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00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:53,000
agent Hassler tries to keep the
drunk hen party occupied.
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00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:57,600
I knew a guy who got married
and he had a stag do
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00:04:57,733 --> 00:05:03,133
and... I bet it was crazy!
Two cups for the ladies.
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00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:05,867
Worried that agent Hassler might
need some assistance,
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00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,467
agent Church arrives with
refreshments for the hens.
95
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,267
It's also a great chance for her to
show just how fun she can be.
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00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,267
So what have you guys got planned
for the hen do then? Oh, God, loads.
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00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,267
We've already been to London
last weekend.
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00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,533
Oh, right. We totally
smashed it up, didn't we?
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00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,667
I bet you did.
Yeah, I got this naked butler
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00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:28,533
and he put his dick in her drink.
Then I drank it. Yeah.
101
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,667
I probably would have drank it, too,
if I had been there.
102
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:33,267
So when we get to Benidorm,
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00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,667
we're just gonna hit the beach
and party. Like, go crazy.
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00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,600
This one is mental,
she's a monster. Is she?
105
00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:42,000
As you can see.
I can see that, yeah.
106
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:45,533
I met my husband in the car park
of a supermarket
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00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:50,600
and he was driving around in his
Ford Fiesta, and I got in.
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00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:53,733
And I said, "I don't go home
with strangers."
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00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:56,533
And then he kissed me and he went,
"We're not strangers any more."
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00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,533
And then he took me home and he put
it right up me.
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00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:01,133
Oh, my God, Anne Marie - she's the
one getting married -
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00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,133
show her what
we've got her, it's so funny.
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00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,333
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to make
her wear this the whole time. OK.
114
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,933
She's gonna die.
Oh, I mean that's hilarious.
115
00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:12,867
That sounds like you're gonna have
a really fun time. Yeah, we are!
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00:06:12,933 --> 00:06:15,600
Put it on. Oh, no, I'm OK.
117
00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:17,400
I'll put it on. Put the dicks on
your head.
118
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:20,267
No. I, I don't want... She's an
officer, she's not gonna wear dicks.
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00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,067
I don't wanna put the dicks on. I
don't think she's the kind of girl
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00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,133
that wears those. No, it's fine.
Really? Yeah.
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00:06:25,267 --> 00:06:26,733
I don't think you are, though. OK.
122
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,533
Well, I'll prove you wrong
123
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:31,600
by putting these glittery dicks
on my head.
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00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:33,333
THEY LAUGH
125
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,267
You actually suit them.
126
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:37,000
THEY LAUGH
127
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:40,000
Really glad I did this, actually.
128
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,867
Why've you got that on?
I don't know. Great.
129
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,200
Andy, can I have a word? Yeah. I'm
sure agent Hassler can handle this.
130
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,333
Absolutely, I can handle this.
131
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,933
Under control. Do you want me to
send Tariq in? My best bro?
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00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,800
Yeah, you can send him in.
133
00:06:55,867 --> 00:07:00,000
You ladies, you're going to love
this guy. He's a DJ.
134
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:02,333
At the airport? Yeah.
How does that work?
135
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,867
I don't know.
136
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,067
If you just wanna take a seat and
I'll make you a wee cup of tea.
137
00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:14,467
Agent Brodie has been processing his
detainee for an impressive two hours
138
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,467
and now continues in the office
break room, which is unusual.
139
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:20,667
There's your tea there, PG Tips.
140
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,333
Do you have PG Tips where you
come from?
141
00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:27,467
No, all tea in Ukraine is made
from potatoes.
142
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:33,400
Oh, right. I see what you did there,
that was a joke. Yeah.
143
00:07:35,867 --> 00:07:39,133
When I go back over to my desk
over there,
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00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:43,267
I'll have to write "beautiful
and funny" on the form.
145
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,333
You're... You're getting red.
146
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:59,000
I'm getting my... Aye, I have a bit
of a ruddy disposition.
147
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:03,933
Well, I snort when I laugh.
Really? Yes. Yeah.
148
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,867
Tell me a joke. All right, OK.
149
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,133
Why are there no black men
on the moon?
150
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,400
I don't know.
151
00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:16,800
Because there's no white women
up there.
152
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,400
Sorry, I... I don't think that's
funny. Sorry, yeah.
153
00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:26,733
I can imagine that was a bit
inappropriate.
154
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,333
You see, I was down
the pub last night
155
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,067
and my friend Mackie
told that joke -
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00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,933
he's a black guy - but when he says
it it sounds... Well, he...
157
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,867
Well, everybody laughed. When I just
said it there, that...
158
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,867
No, it just sounded racist.
Just a little bit. Uh, yeah.
159
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,800
Oh, I've got another one.
160
00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:45,600
Uh, right, right. There's, um...
OK, there's a vicar,
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00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,533
an astronaut and a Chinaman -
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00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:50,800
sorry, an oriental chap - uh, walk
into a pub...
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00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:54,933
I'm at work, Fergus, remember that?
I go to work.
164
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,267
No, she doesn't need
an intervention.
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00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,000
Chief Inspector Proctor is finding
her day increasingly challenging,
166
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,467
as she deals with a panicked phone
call from her husband,
167
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,733
who's deeply concerned
about their daughter.
168
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,667
Because we're talking about
biscuits, Fergus,
169
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,467
not bloody crack cocaine,
they're Hobnobs.
170
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,933
We're not the first people in the
universe to have a fat daughter.
171
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,533
Fine. Bye.
172
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,400
Do you see what I mean?
173
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,267
The detained hen party is still
a potential liability,
174
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,200
as they are yet to sober up.
175
00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:33,600
With agent Hassler somewhat out
of his depth,
176
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:37,200
help arrives in the form of agent
Tariq Mansoor.
177
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,000
Hey, man.
178
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:41,800
DJ Tariq in the house. Here he is.
179
00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,733
Hi, guys. I'm Tariq.
180
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,133
Tariq. Hi.
181
00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:49,733
So, how has Clive been
treating you ladies?
182
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:54,533
OK, I guess.
Tariq, this is Stacy and Celeste.
183
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:58,667
One of them is too drunk to fly.
Guess which one?
184
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,867
Oh, I, ooh, let me use my training.
185
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,667
It's obviously yourself.
It was me, I tricked you.
186
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:07,333
I got it straightaway.
187
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,067
Cool, so how may I assist you?
188
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,200
Agents Hassler and Mansoor have kept
189
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:15,400
this potentially volatile
situation under control,
190
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,267
a perfect example of how the agents
191
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,933
remained focused and professional
at all times,
192
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,800
essential in a busy of fice
like this one.
193
00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:25,333
However, with such demanding
and stressful work,
194
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:28,733
it's equally important to take some
time out to relax.
195
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:31,600
Is that not smooth? Like, cos...
It's not very smooth, no.
196
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,200
Because it's a romantic kind of
language, isn't it?
197
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,467
Where did you pick it up?
198
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:38,133
I've seen a lot of Goodfellas
and Scorsese films,
199
00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:42,333
and, I mean, they're American.
Do the accent.
200
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,733
It's... BAD ITALIAN ACCENT:
Arrivederci.
201
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,333
Oh, OK. That's... that is bad.
That's why I did it once and...
202
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:53,133
Goes down pretty well. Doesn't it
get boring after like 600 times?
203
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,867
Yes. Yeah, of course it does.
204
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,133
Yeah, but you, uh...
205
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,400
It's not a... HEY !
206
00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,333
Oh, my God. Jesus.
207
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,667
Yeah. Are we still playing
hide and seek?
208
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,533
Yes, but we can see you. Oh.
209
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,667
Don't... Turn around.
210
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:18,400
But before they know it, break
time's over.
211
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:21,067
All too soon,
it's back to work.
212
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:24,667
Well, we can't play here now,
gimme five minutes.
213
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,200
In five minutes.
214
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,967
Boo.
215
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,233
God, are you OK?
216
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:41,033
God, that gave me a fright.
217
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,967
It's an unusual day at Northend.
218
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,300
The goal is a safe
and professional office,
219
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:51,033
but agents seem focused on
other things.
220
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:54,433
Chief Inspector Linda Proctor is
having a particularly difficult day,
221
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:56,833
but luckily is able to force
a willing colleague
222
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,833
to be a sympathetic listener.
223
00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:02,767
Do you ever wished you hadn't
stopped smoking? I've never smoked.
224
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:04,900
Last night... You've got a
boyfriend, right? No.
225
00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:07,033
Last night,
Fergus wanted to have sex with me.
226
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:11,567
Ah, OK. I mean, he physically
repulses me, physically. Mm-hm.
227
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:14,633
He's just so heavy now.
228
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,100
Climbs on top of me like
a scared seal
229
00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:22,300
trying to get on top of a rock
before a killer whale eats him.
230
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:25,633
Except he can't, because he's
too fucking fat.
231
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:29,100
It's not that idon't love Fergus,
it's just a bit like,
232
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:33,567
I remember having a tortoise
when I was a kid
233
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,500
and, you know, when we first got
him, it was really lovely.
234
00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:38,767
Then I asked my mum one day,
"How long do they live?''
235
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,567
and she said, "100 years."
236
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:49,233
I love these deep and meaningful
conversations we have.
237
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,500
"Ugh, ugh, ugh!'
238
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:54,233
Fergus, he sounds just like that.
239
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:58,300
Pound, pound, pound, pound.
240
00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:01,433
I just lie there and let him
pound away. OK.
241
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:05,660
So... Oh, that's locked, right. OK!
242
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,767
Where are you going? Just need to...
243
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:12,033
Thanks for this, it's been great.
Yeah, no worries.
244
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:15,900
(Fuck.)
245
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:18,967
As agent Church decides that's
enough moral support for one day
246
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,767
back in detention with the hens,
247
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,767
agents Mansoor and Hassler are also
248
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,033
utilising their
communication skills.
249
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:30,167
Some of the beaches are nudist,
and I forgot my bikini.
250
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,433
You're gonna have to just buy one
when you get there.
251
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:36,500
You gotta pack smart.
Do you pack smart?
252
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,500
Please, fuck off.
253
00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:42,500
Ooh, someone's still a little
bit tipsy.
254
00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:46,167
Don't worry, sometimes I get a
little bit tipsy, as well,
255
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,167
if I've had a cocktail.
256
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:51,100
I don't care. One time, Tariq showed
me this drink -
257
00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:53,767
I think it's called a cement mixer -
and what you do is
258
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,500
you have some Bailey's and you,
but you keep it in your mouth,
259
00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:59,500
and then you squirt in some
lime juice
260
00:13:59,633 --> 00:14:03,367
and it sort of curdles and it goes
like a sort of chewing gum,
261
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,633
but with off milk, and it actually
kind of tastes good
262
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:10,700
once you get over that sort of
phlegm, phlegm-like texture.
263
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,500
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Really? Mm. Oh, God.
264
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:25,033
Oh, so that's what fun looks like.
265
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,300
It's disgusting.
266
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,433
The day is almost done,
and Agent Brodie
267
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,033
has almost cleared the
Ukrainian traveller.
268
00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:36,833
A true professional, he completed
the interview
269
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,967
in a record four hours
and 52 minutes,
270
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:42,393
and now walks her to her taxi after
leaving his post completely.
271
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,967
It's all part of the service.
272
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,900
Do you help everyone with
their luggage? Oh, yeah.
273
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:51,567
I like to come down here and
escort people into their taxis.
274
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,433
Really? Everyone?
275
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,367
Nope, no. You got me, I'm...
276
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,033
Never done this before.
277
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,633
I'm glad you did. Aye.
278
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,633
I'm really sorry about those
jokes earlier on.
279
00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:08,500
I need to work on them.
280
00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,700
Telling jokes is not my forte.
281
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,100
SHE SNORTS
282
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:15,367
Oh, look, There she goes.
A wee snort there.
283
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:19,567
That's absolutely adorable, really.
Really adorable.
284
00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:23,100
So, I have a really good
Ukrainian joke.
285
00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:28,833
How do you know that you're not
going to be sad all your life?
286
00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:31,033
Because one day you die.
287
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:34,433
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
288
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,033
Can I have your number?
Sorry, what was that?
289
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,833
So I can call you.
290
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,767
Yep, yep. Sure, yes. Yes, you can.
291
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:50,700
You're turning red again. Aye,
probably. It's been a long day.
292
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,967
Knock, knock. Who's there?
293
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:56,433
A Frenchman.
Oh, no, wait. Nope, that's...
294
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:59,300
I'll give you my number. Zero...
295
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:02,400
Nobody's ever asked me for
my number before.
296
00:16:02,450 --> 00:16:05,000
It makes things a lot easier.
297
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:08,967
I paid for her taxi there,
it's 20 quid.
298
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,900
In for a penny, in for a pound.
299
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:13,233
I really like Grant.
I think he's, er...
300
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,367
he's a very nice gentleman.
301
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,433
Very sweet and just confused.
302
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:27,700
I feel like I've been swept off my
feet, but I need to...
303
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,700
Do you know what I mean?
304
00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:36,967
Agent Brodie has cleared
his detainee,
305
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,900
and made a personal connection,
306
00:16:38,967 --> 00:16:41,367
which is lovely -
and probably unethical.
307
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,367
Also connecting with passengers,
308
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:45,567
agents Tariq Mansoor
and Clive Hassler
309
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:49,633
keep the two hens occupied as they
sober up enough to fly.
310
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:52,833
Can you isolate? Oh, you can. I sure
can. You're doing it really well.
311
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:56,767
What else can you isolate?
My left thumb is, is double-jointed.
312
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,500
So you can kind of - not my right,
my other -
313
00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:01,100
you can kind of make it
look like it's broken or something.
314
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:04,367
Do you want to feel? No, mate. How
do you deal with him every day?
315
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:07,433
He's all right, he's harmless.
You just get used to him.
316
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,433
Get used to what? What do you mean?
317
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:12,433
You're annoying. Yeah, what's wrong
with you? Like, seriously?
318
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,033
Do you not understand how, like,
annoying you are?
319
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:19,167
Whoa-whoa-whoa. You're so
annoying, like, you're grating.
320
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:23,167
Calm down, it's OK.
He's a twat. No, he's my mate. What?
321
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,167
Seriously, he's your mate?
Are you crazy?
322
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:29,033
Oh, OK. Look, please remember
that you're in custody,
323
00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:31,967
and if I were you, I'd start showing
agents a bit more respect.
324
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,033
Excuse... Come on, Clive.
325
00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:42,833
He was all over you. I know.
326
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,833
Hey, man...
327
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,833
..you really embarrassed
yourself in there.
328
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,233
Try not to think about it too much,
OK? Come on.
329
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:02,633
Yeah, it's a shame because, like,
I thought we had something,
330
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:06,300
like a spark, and just because
I slagged off his retarded friend,
331
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:10,033
I don't know why he, like, went
apeshit at me, like.
332
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,900
That was a bit left-field.
333
00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:16,700
I'm just going to be at my desk if
you need me, OK? All right, see you.
334
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:22,433
The grand old Duke of York
335
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,500
Had 10,000 men
336
00:18:24,633 --> 00:18:27,633
? Marched them up to the top
of the hill... ?
337
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:31,967
Are you all right? Ah, should have
took Grant in there.
338
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,033
? Then he marched them down again. ?
339
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:36,967
Proctor has had a tough day, but
it's been worth it.
340
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,167
If only to find a new ally
in the workplace.
341
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:44,167
So, I've been spending a lot more
time with Andy and it's been
342
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:47,967
just really, really nice. Because
there aren't that many women
343
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:51,433
in this line of work and it's just
really nice to hang out
344
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,700
with somebody who you can share
opinions with,
345
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:59,100
and struggles with and,
we're just always laughing.
346
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,100
Like, we just really make each
other laugh.
347
00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:05,433
Jigsaw? God, I love jigsaws!
348
00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:07,033
Do you mind if I join you?
349
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:15,700
Agent Mansoor has cleared the hen
party. He now debriefs agent Church,
350
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:18,367
as they both finalise the case's
paperwork together.
351
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,100
A job that requires
attention and focus.
352
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:24,233
Which Spice Girl did you like most?
It should come immediate,
353
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,367
it should
be an immediate answer. Scary.
354
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,833
Scary? She's the worst one.
How worst?
355
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,633
She was gorgeous. But if you...
356
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,233
BANGING
357
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,167
Oh, wow. Wow!
358
00:19:47,233 --> 00:19:50,567
You guys are bad at that game.
We are so bad at that game.
359
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,500
Oh, man. We didn't know where
you were.
360
00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:54,967
That's the game!
361
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:59,567
Hide. Seek.
362
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,767
No, we did, we did seek.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
363
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,633
We just didn't know where
you were.
364
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,433
The break room, we had covered.
We looked in the break room.
365
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:08,233
Proctor's office.
366
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:11,833
'What do I think about Tariq
flirting with that girl?'
367
00:20:11,967 --> 00:20:16,767
Um... Well, firstly, I didn't
realise what that was was flirting.
368
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:21,433
Um, no, it's... I mean, it's fine,
yeah. He can do that.
369
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,367
It's a bit of a strange choice.
370
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:29,900
I suppose he is just having fun.
I should try it.
371
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:33,633
Next time I get invited to something
I'd normally say no to, I'll say yes.
372
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,900
Even if it is just to avoid getting
stuck with Proctor.
373
00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:39,300
So, how'd things go with your
new girlfriend?
374
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:43,233
We're not gonna make it. Oh, that's
a shame. How was your day?
375
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,900
Yep, fine. What are you doing now,
376
00:20:45,033 --> 00:20:47,633
cos I'm gonna go to the Rose and
Crown, if you wanna come?
377
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:51,833
It's quiz night. All right, so you
need me on your quiz team. Uh-huh.
378
00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:53,833
That does actually sound really fun.
379
00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:57,100
Did I just hear you say you're
going to the Rose and Crown?
380
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:02,433
Yeah, that's what we said. Great!
Cos im staying there tonight
381
00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:06,500
instead of going home, so looks like
we're all having a drink together.
382
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:11,567
This morning, Proctor gave a talk
all about team work.
383
00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:18,633
And then today, Tariq, he had
my back in there, you know.
384
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:21,967
He's, uh... We are a team.
385
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:27,500
He's my, he's my partner and, well,
I guess I'm off,
386
00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:30,633
I'm off to go meet my partner
for a drink.
387
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,500
But first I gotta clean the sick out
of this bin.
388
00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:36,033
You wait till I'm half a bottle
of Prosecco in.
389
00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:39,233
Woo, lady petrol!
390
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,967
Just give me a second to get
my things.
391
00:21:44,633 --> 00:21:46,300
(Lady petrol?)
392
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,367
OK, last one to the bar's
a big fat poof.
393
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,233
OK, that's...
394
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:58,900
No doubt 'bout it
I'm on my way
395
00:21:58,967 --> 00:22:02,727
Takin' over
I'm here to stay
396
00:22:02,767 --> 00:22:05,927
One day you lookin'
whether to come my way
397
00:22:05,967 --> 00:22:07,967
Don't drop,
Don't tell me to stop
398
00:22:08,033 --> 00:22:10,593
Cos I'll be taking over today
399
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:13,100
I'm taking over this whole place
400
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,033
I'm on my way to outer space
401
00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:19,100
? Don't drop,
Don't tell me to stop. ?
402
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:23,700
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