Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,547
Horsin' Around is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:15,799
Mondays.
3
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,677
Well, good morning to you too.
4
00:00:18,761 --> 00:00:20,011
Oh, hey.
5
00:00:20,095 --> 00:00:21,847
Where? I'd love hay.
6
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:28,103
In 1987, the situation
comedy Horsin' Around
7
00:00:28,186 --> 00:00:29,563
premiered on ABC.
8
00:00:29,646 --> 00:00:31,774
The show, in which a young, bachelor horse
9
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,984
is forced to reevaluate his priorities
10
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,403
when he agrees to raise
three human children,
11
00:00:36,486 --> 00:00:38,280
was initially dismissed by critics
12
00:00:38,363 --> 00:00:41,867
as broad and saccharine and not good,
13
00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:44,578
but the family comedy
struck a chord with America
14
00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:46,830
and went on to air for nine seasons.
15
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,875
The star of Horsin'
Around, BoJack Horseman,
16
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:51,084
is our guest tonight.
17
00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,335
Welcome, BoJack.
18
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:53,879
It is good to be here, Charlie.
19
00:00:53,963 --> 00:00:55,213
Sorry I was late. The traffic...
20
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,590
It's really no problem.
21
00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:57,841
I parked in a handicapped spot.
22
00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:58,926
I hope that's okay.
23
00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:00,010
You parked in a...
24
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,094
I'm sorry, disabled spot.
25
00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:03,680
Is that the proper nomenclature?
26
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,307
Maybe you should move the car.
27
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,725
No, I don't think I should drive right now.
28
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:08,602
I'm incredibly drunk.
29
00:01:08,685 --> 00:01:11,480
You're telling me that
you're drunk right now?
30
00:01:11,563 --> 00:01:13,482
Is it just me, or am I
nailing this interview?
31
00:01:13,565 --> 00:01:14,858
I kind of feel like I'm nailing it.
32
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,485
Yes.
33
00:01:16,568 --> 00:01:19,279
Anyway, we were talking
about Horsin' Around.
34
00:01:19,362 --> 00:01:21,573
To what do you attribute
the show's wide appeal?
35
00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:22,992
Charlie, listen, you know,
36
00:01:23,074 --> 00:01:24,242
I know that it's very hip these days
37
00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:25,911
to shit all over Horsin' Around,
38
00:01:25,995 --> 00:01:27,370
but at the time, I can tell you...
39
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,622
- Is it okay to say "shit"?
- Please don't.
40
00:01:28,705 --> 00:01:29,915
'Cause I... I think the show's
41
00:01:29,999 --> 00:01:31,541
actually pretty solid for what it is.
42
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,126
It's not Ibsen, sure,
43
00:01:33,209 --> 00:01:34,711
but look, for a lot of people,
44
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,255
life is just one long,
hard kick in the urethra,
45
00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,257
and sometimes when you get home
46
00:01:39,341 --> 00:01:41,134
from a long day of getting
kicked in the urethra,
47
00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:44,095
you just want to watch a show
about good, likable people
48
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,430
who love each other,
49
00:01:45,514 --> 00:01:47,057
where, you know, no matter what happens,
50
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,809
at the end of 30 minutes,
51
00:01:48,892 --> 00:01:50,477
everything's gonna turn out okay.
52
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,354
You know, because in real life...
53
00:01:52,437 --> 00:01:55,024
Did I already say the
thing about the urethra?
54
00:01:55,106 --> 00:01:56,733
Well, let's talk about real life.
55
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,902
What have you been doing
since the show's cancellation
56
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,278
18 years ago?
57
00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:01,655
That's a great question, Charlie.
58
00:02:01,738 --> 00:02:03,907
I, uh...
59
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,450
Uh, I...
60
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:09,245
Um...
61
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:19,882
♪ ♪
62
00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:08,430
Maury! Maury! Maury! Maury!
63
00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:10,265
In the case of
one-year-old Phoenix,
64
00:03:10,348 --> 00:03:12,726
you are the father.
65
00:03:12,809 --> 00:03:15,186
Morning, sunshine.
66
00:03:16,521 --> 00:03:18,023
Why so gloomy, roomie?
67
00:03:18,107 --> 00:03:19,108
First of all, we're not roommates.
68
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:20,650
You are my houseguest.
69
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,903
Well, we don't need to
put labels on things.
70
00:03:22,986 --> 00:03:24,780
You sleep on my couch,
and you don't pay rent.
71
00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:27,032
I've had tapeworms that
were less parasitic.
72
00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:28,117
I don't even remember why I let you
73
00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:29,409
stay with me in the first place.
74
00:03:29,492 --> 00:03:30,744
Because my parents kicked me out,
75
00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:32,454
and I had nowhere to go,
76
00:03:32,537 --> 00:03:33,914
and even though you don't
want anyone to know it...
77
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,379
You secretly have a good heart.
78
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:42,672
You told me they didn't approve
79
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,466
of your "alternative lifestyle."
80
00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:45,759
I thought you were, like,
81
00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:47,260
a troubled gay teen or something.
82
00:03:47,343 --> 00:03:48,845
I didn't realize by "alternative lifestyle"
83
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,180
that you meant you were lazy.
84
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:52,348
That's on you for making assumptions.
85
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,643
Also, if you're looking
for the Toaster Strudels,
86
00:03:54,726 --> 00:03:56,979
I got really high last
night and ate them all.
87
00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:01,650
Did you say you've had tapeworms?
88
00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:06,029
♪ ♪
89
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,322
Thanks for meeting me here.
90
00:04:07,405 --> 00:04:09,032
I would have invited you to my office,
91
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,118
but the electric company
shut off our power.
92
00:04:11,201 --> 00:04:12,202
That's unfortunate.
93
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:13,745
Just an issue with the bank
94
00:04:13,829 --> 00:04:15,164
and a lack of money in it.
95
00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:17,457
Now, as you know, Penguin is very eager
96
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,708
to publish your memoirs,
97
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,836
but you keep missing your deadlines.
98
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:22,087
I know, and I'm sorry,
99
00:04:22,171 --> 00:04:23,839
but I am making great progress.
100
00:04:23,922 --> 00:04:27,550
BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story,
101
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,137
written by BoJack Horseman.
102
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,680
Chapter one.
103
00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:34,683
Chapter one.
104
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,729
Chapter...
105
00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:42,858
One.
106
00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,985
Look, we really need a
bestseller here at Penguin.
107
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,737
Things are not that
great for me, money wise.
108
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,906
Aren't you an editor at
a major publishing house?
109
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,825
Yeah, a publishing house.
110
00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:53,451
When was the last time you saw a book?
111
00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:54,744
I thought I saw someone
112
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,163
reading one in the park the other day,
113
00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:57,664
but it turned out it was a takeout menu.
114
00:04:57,747 --> 00:04:59,833
Whenever you're ready.
115
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,672
We're living month to month here.
116
00:05:05,755 --> 00:05:07,423
We're kind of counting
on your autobiography
117
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,842
to save the company, no pressure.
118
00:05:08,925 --> 00:05:10,468
That's actually a lot of pressure.
119
00:05:10,552 --> 00:05:12,428
Have you considered
working with a ghostwriter?
120
00:05:12,554 --> 00:05:14,056
Ugh, no, thank you.
121
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,640
Look, just give me one more week,
122
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,226
and I will give you some pages
123
00:05:17,308 --> 00:05:19,269
that'll knock your ass
back to the South Pole.
124
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,729
I'm from Cincinnati.
125
00:05:20,812 --> 00:05:22,480
It... that doesn't matter.
126
00:05:22,564 --> 00:05:23,773
I'll call you in a week.
127
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:24,858
Yes, one week.
128
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:26,109
I'm telling you,
129
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:29,071
this book is a top priority for me.
130
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,535
Oh, right. Yeesh.
131
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:39,164
You're wearing that to the prom?
132
00:05:39,248 --> 00:05:40,999
What, you don't think it's cute?
133
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:43,752
Neigh way, Jose.
134
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,215
"Neigh way, Jose."
135
00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:50,092
I improvised that line.
136
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,426
I mean, it was written,
137
00:05:51,509 --> 00:05:53,344
but I gave it the old BoJack spin.
138
00:05:53,428 --> 00:05:55,805
Hey, how many times have
you watched this episode?
139
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,182
Yeah, but do you get it, though?
140
00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:58,558
Because "nay" means no,
141
00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:00,185
but it's also a thing that horses say.
142
00:06:00,269 --> 00:06:02,104
It works on every level.
143
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,273
- I get it.
- Ah, you don't get it.
144
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,779
♪ Three little orphans
One, two, three ♪
145
00:06:10,862 --> 00:06:13,364
♪ Without a home Or a family tree ♪
146
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:16,701
♪ Until this horse
said "Live with me" ♪
147
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,746
♪ And now we've got A new family ♪
148
00:06:19,829 --> 00:06:22,415
♪ We were lost And now we're found ♪
149
00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:24,334
♪ And we're ♪
150
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,711
♪ Horsin' around ♪
151
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,422
Are you drunk?
152
00:06:29,505 --> 00:06:31,049
Todd, I weigh over 1,200 pounds.
153
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,760
It takes a lot of beer to get me drunk.
154
00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:34,844
Yes.
155
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,471
Ah, yeah, I see.
156
00:06:36,554 --> 00:06:38,431
You're just bummed out
because Princess Carolyn
157
00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:39,766
dumped you last night.
158
00:06:41,893 --> 00:06:43,603
BoJack, we need to talk.
159
00:06:43,686 --> 00:06:45,063
Hey, check out the rug on that guy.
160
00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:46,439
Slow and steady, am I right, ladies?
161
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,942
Ha-cha-cha.
162
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:50,443
Who does he think he's fooling?
163
00:06:50,526 --> 00:06:51,903
Turtles don't have hair.
164
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:53,155
Stop embarrassing me.
165
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,739
That is Lenny Turteltaub.
166
00:06:54,823 --> 00:06:56,325
You know, I am not crazy
about the bread here.
167
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:57,408
Mm.
168
00:06:57,492 --> 00:06:58,952
Why do I keep eating it?
169
00:06:59,035 --> 00:07:01,871
BoJack, can you please
just listen for a second?
170
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,167
You have my undivided attention.
171
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,627
I think we should see other people.
172
00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:09,754
Were we not seeing other people?
173
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,134
BoJack, I'm almost there.
174
00:07:14,217 --> 00:07:15,593
Wait. Shh! Shut up.
175
00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:18,763
Now, that's a horse of a different...
176
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:19,848
cruller?
177
00:07:19,931 --> 00:07:21,683
Oh!
178
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:24,519
God, that's good comedy.
179
00:07:24,602 --> 00:07:26,188
- BoJack!
- What?
180
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,438
Everyone gets a mulligan,
181
00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:30,483
and my mulligan was Carey Mulligan.
182
00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:33,403
I'm kidding, jeez. It was Emily Mortimer.
183
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,238
- What is the problem here?
184
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,282
Are you embarrassed of
me because I'm a has-been?
185
00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:38,992
Because you know that I'm writing that book
186
00:07:39,075 --> 00:07:40,994
that is gonna make everybody love me again.
187
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:42,954
You're not really writing a book.
188
00:07:43,038 --> 00:07:44,206
Well, I already spent my advance,
189
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:45,540
so that's a first step.
190
00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:47,209
Look, this has been a lot of fun,
191
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,960
but I need to start
thinking about my future.
192
00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:50,962
I mean, you don't even respect me enough
193
00:07:51,046 --> 00:07:52,047
to have a baby with me.
194
00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:53,131
Whoa, what?
195
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:54,674
I never explicitly said that.
196
00:07:54,757 --> 00:07:56,301
You said it with your actions.
197
00:07:56,385 --> 00:07:57,427
What actions?
198
00:07:58,761 --> 00:08:00,513
Oh, look at that baby.
199
00:08:00,596 --> 00:08:02,724
Isn't he the cutest baby you ever saw?
200
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:04,226
What? What? What? No, no, wha...
201
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,488
Step away from
the stolen vehicle, sir!
202
00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:19,324
No, no, no.
Misunderstanding, officer.
203
00:08:19,408 --> 00:08:20,992
I was running away from my girlfriend
204
00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:23,328
whom I don't respect
enough to have a baby with.
205
00:08:23,412 --> 00:08:25,747
Hey, aren't you the
horse from Horsin' Around?
206
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:28,375
Oh, face it. You're afraid of commitment.
207
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:30,001
I'm not afraid of commitment.
208
00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:31,627
I commit to things all the time.
209
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,338
It's the following
through on that commitment
210
00:08:33,422 --> 00:08:34,505
that I take issue with.
211
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,341
Hey, stupid, isn't that
your friend over there?
212
00:08:36,425 --> 00:08:37,926
Oh, Mr. Peanutbutter?
213
00:08:38,009 --> 00:08:39,302
God, I hope he doesn't see us.
214
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,554
Is that BoJack Horseman?
215
00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:43,014
Oh, jeez, here we go.
216
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:44,391
Mr. Peanutbutter
217
00:08:44,474 --> 00:08:47,269
and BoJack Horseman in the same room.
218
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,604
What is this, a crossover episode?
219
00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:51,440
You know, that gets funnier every time.
220
00:08:51,522 --> 00:08:53,024
You're being sarcastic,
221
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:54,901
but I think it does actually
get funnier every time.
222
00:08:54,984 --> 00:08:56,319
We're actually in the middle
of breaking up right now,
223
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,113
- so if you could just...
- Yeah?
224
00:08:58,196 --> 00:08:59,697
- You're in the middle of it?
- Yeah, that's right.
225
00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:02,742
So would it be awkward
if I joined you right now?
226
00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:04,286
Yes, actually, it's very awkward.
227
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:05,536
Is that not clear?
228
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:08,081
Yeah, this is awkward right now?
229
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,332
Yes, please leave.
230
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,917
How are you, Mr. Peanutbutter?
231
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,378
Oh, living the dream,
P.C., living the dream.
232
00:09:13,462 --> 00:09:14,879
Why are you making conversation?
233
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:16,381
Oh, let's see, it's the English word...
234
00:09:16,465 --> 00:09:18,300
It's called being polite, BoJack.
235
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,385
But am I crazy that this is a bad time?
236
00:09:20,469 --> 00:09:22,720
Always a Clydesdale,
never a Clyde, eh, BoJack?
237
00:09:22,845 --> 00:09:24,097
What?
238
00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:25,723
You'll get that one later, man.
239
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:27,558
Erica, get out of here with that face.
240
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:28,810
Would it kill you to be civil?
241
00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,520
This is why we're breaking up.
242
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,563
So it's not because of
the thing with the baby?
243
00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,399
It's because of a lot of things!
244
00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:35,942
Waiter, could we please have the check?
245
00:09:36,025 --> 00:09:37,527
- Thank you.
- We haven't even ordered yet.
246
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,363
I have wasted so many dinners
on you, BoJack Horseman.
247
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,907
I don't know how you can
expect anyone else to love you
248
00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:44,659
when you so clearly hate yourself.
249
00:09:44,742 --> 00:09:47,370
- Here you go.
- Let me see that.
250
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,540
$10 for bread?
251
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,250
I don't want to live in a society
252
00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:53,960
where the premeal bread isn't free.
253
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:56,838
It is free if you order a meal.
254
00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:58,465
Can you take me home, please?
255
00:09:58,548 --> 00:10:00,008
Yeah, but I didn't even
eat that much bread.
256
00:10:00,091 --> 00:10:01,092
What did I have? I must have had...
257
00:10:01,176 --> 00:10:03,303
You ate nine baskets, sir.
258
00:10:03,386 --> 00:10:04,762
Nine... really?
259
00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,931
Great, now I'm gonna feel
like a fat ass all week.
260
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,768
You've seen me naked. Do
you think I'm getting chubby?
261
00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:12,395
You want to know the real
reason we're breaking up?
262
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,563
What was that? Sorry.
263
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,898
Couldn't hear you over the sound
of my calories not metabolizing.
264
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,984
This is so classic you.
265
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,402
You're using this bread thing
266
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,321
to avoid talking about our relationship.
267
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:23,281
No, that is definitely not happening.
268
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:25,074
I'd like to go home now.
269
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,703
You think I'm fat.
270
00:10:28,786 --> 00:10:30,621
So yeah, technically I was dumped,
271
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:32,457
but the real headline of the evening was,
272
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:34,959
"Dumb guy eats bread, gets fat, the end."
273
00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:37,379
What kind of headline is that?
274
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,589
Wasn't there a pizza here a second ago?
275
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,883
God damn it! Stop the presses.
276
00:10:41,966 --> 00:10:43,718
You're not fat.
277
00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:46,388
Oh, hey, let's throw a
party. That'll cheer you up.
278
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,973
No, it won't. It'll cheer you up.
279
00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:50,433
I'll stand in the corner by myself
280
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,101
eating cotton candy until I barf
281
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,103
like I did at your last party.
282
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,732
Hey, aren't you the
horse from Horsin' Around?
283
00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:02,278
That was a good party.
284
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,114
Hey, didn't we get a cotton
candy machine for that party?
285
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,617
Who told you Princess
Carolyn and I broke up?
286
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,369
- She did.
- What?
287
00:11:09,452 --> 00:11:10,995
You never took me home, jerk!
288
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,830
Oh, everything's my fault.
289
00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:14,499
Take me home.
290
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,543
Okay, jeez.
291
00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:18,378
But I'm not looking for
parking in Silver Lake.
292
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:19,670
I'll slow the car down to a crawl,
293
00:11:19,754 --> 00:11:20,755
and you can duck and roll.
294
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,009
You know what, you can take
a last look at this face,
295
00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:26,595
because it's the last
time you're gonna see it.
296
00:11:26,677 --> 00:11:27,678
Hey-up!
297
00:11:33,101 --> 00:11:34,352
Hello?
298
00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:35,770
I've got Princess Carolyn for you.
299
00:11:35,853 --> 00:11:37,272
Uh, okay.
300
00:11:37,355 --> 00:11:38,523
BoJack.
301
00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:40,108
Oh, my God, we just broke up.
302
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:41,776
Yeah, but I'm still your agent.
303
00:11:41,859 --> 00:11:43,403
I pride myself on my ability
304
00:11:43,486 --> 00:11:45,988
to separate my professional
life from my personal life.
305
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,115
Great.
306
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,325
Then, as my agent, do
you think I'm getting fat?
307
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,493
No way.
308
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,745
You are in the prime of your
life, never looked better.
309
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:53,996
What about as my ex-girlfriend?
310
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,957
You look like a pile of crap
ate a second pile of crap
311
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,542
and then crapped out a third pile of crap.
312
00:11:57,626 --> 00:12:00,128
Wait, wait, so which pile
of crap do I look like?
313
00:12:00,211 --> 00:12:02,046
- The third one.
- What? That's the worst one.
314
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,714
I'm not calling you as your ex.
315
00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:05,634
I'm calling you as your agent.
316
00:12:05,716 --> 00:12:07,510
Remember that book you're
pretending to write?
317
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,762
Well, Penguin wants an
update on your progress.
318
00:12:09,845 --> 00:12:11,180
Does Tuesday work for you,
319
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,599
or are you gonna be too busy this week
320
00:12:12,682 --> 00:12:14,350
masturbating to old pictures of yourself?
321
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,269
I told you, that's not what
was happening that time.
322
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:18,854
I was masturbating to what
the picture represented.
323
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,149
You walked in at the worst possible moment!
324
00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:22,817
So, Tuesday, though?
325
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:23,943
Yes, fine!
326
00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:27,405
Whoo!
327
00:12:27,489 --> 00:12:28,990
You don't have anything?
328
00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:30,074
Hey, you got the electricity back.
329
00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:31,367
Good for you.
330
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,577
This company is in dire straits.
331
00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:35,913
We made a series of very bad investments.
332
00:12:35,997 --> 00:12:37,457
Ever hear of a young adult franchise
333
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,208
called the Swamp Monsters of Malibu?
334
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,751
Uh, no.
335
00:12:40,835 --> 00:12:46,633
Then why did we spend
$20 million on marketing?
336
00:12:46,716 --> 00:12:49,427
It's okay, Pinky, go to your happy place.
337
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:50,679
Uh...
338
00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:51,762
Look, I know you're a busy guy.
339
00:12:51,846 --> 00:12:52,847
Actually, I am a busy guy.
340
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,307
I live a very active lifestyle.
341
00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:58,520
Can't I just stay home with you?
342
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,980
I know kindergarten is scary,
343
00:13:01,063 --> 00:13:02,982
but you're a big girl now,
344
00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:05,276
and you have to be brave.
345
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,777
Okay, Daddy.
346
00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:11,449
Wait, did you just call me "Daddy"?
347
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:14,243
Little Sabrina grew up right
before our eyes, right, Todd?
348
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,786
Todd?
349
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:16,871
Todd!
350
00:13:16,954 --> 00:13:18,164
What?
351
00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:20,082
Did Sabrina grow up before our eyes?
352
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,334
Yes!
353
00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:23,878
We're tired of waiting.
354
00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,047
We're hiring you a ghostwriter.
355
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,174
Diane "Nugent"?
356
00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:30,426
She's great, and she's
got a thing for horses.
357
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,470
Check this out.
358
00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:34,180
Hey, Secretariat.
359
00:13:34,263 --> 00:13:35,806
You know, I always wanted to
play Secretariat in a movie.
360
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:37,433
He's kind of my personal hero.
361
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,019
Could never get the project
off the ground, though.
362
00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:42,063
I mean, there was this one
time I came close in the '90s,
363
00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,814
but then those Prefontaine movies came out,
364
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:45,775
and people got tired of
seeing running on-screen.
365
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,943
Don't tell me. Tell her!
366
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,445
She's cute.
367
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,698
Call her. That's a loan, by the way.
368
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:53,949
We can't afford to be giving
out free books to people,
369
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,577
but you can take anything you want
370
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,912
from the Swamp Monsters swag box.
371
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,420
Oh, God, I'm a failure.
372
00:14:05,503 --> 00:14:07,422
Oh, you're not a failure.
373
00:14:07,505 --> 00:14:08,923
Why did I say I could write a book?
374
00:14:09,006 --> 00:14:11,092
Because you have an amazing story to tell.
375
00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:13,010
- Relax.
- Relax?
376
00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:14,512
Easy for you to say, you hippie.
377
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:17,223
You've never had a day
of stress in your life.
378
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:18,974
Ow. Why?
379
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:22,812
And that's for trying to
sell E on the cartel's turf.
380
00:14:24,146 --> 00:14:25,732
Oh, where's Gabriela?
381
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,484
She went back to Mexico City, ese,
382
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,695
to be with her husband.
383
00:14:30,779 --> 00:14:33,948
What? No!
384
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,368
- Gabriela, why?
- Who?
385
00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:38,787
We were talking about me.
386
00:14:38,869 --> 00:14:40,580
Can you try to focus for, like, a second?
387
00:14:40,663 --> 00:14:42,415
Oh, yeah, sorry. You were saying?
388
00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:44,166
Never should have signed this book deal.
389
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,251
You know what my problem is?
390
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:46,502
I can't say no to people
391
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,003
because I want everyone to like me.
392
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:51,549
You want everyone to like you?
393
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:52,925
Yeah, why?
394
00:14:53,008 --> 00:14:54,302
Do people not like me?
395
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:58,765
Uh...
396
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,436
Uh...
397
00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:04,687
What were we talking about?
398
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,481
I can see the headline now,
399
00:15:06,564 --> 00:15:10,192
"Stupid BoJack writes a stupid
book about his stupid life,
400
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,402
nobody cares."
401
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,279
What newspapers are you reading?
402
00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:14,947
Hey, why don't you just let that lady
403
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:16,491
write your book and be done with it?
404
00:15:16,574 --> 00:15:18,200
Better question, why are you in my kitchen?
405
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:19,285
I'm making breakfast.
406
00:15:19,368 --> 00:15:21,078
We had sex last night, dummy.
407
00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:22,747
Ugh, I really got to start putting my phone
408
00:15:22,831 --> 00:15:24,415
on airplane mode when I drink.
409
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,377
This lady probably thinks I'm
just some dumb sitcom actor.
410
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,920
I hate her and her stupid,
411
00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:31,631
impossible-to-pronounce
last name,
412
00:15:31,714 --> 00:15:33,174
Na-goo-ya-go-goo-goo-goo-ga.
413
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:34,676
You haven't even met her.
414
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,135
Give her a chance.
415
00:15:36,218 --> 00:15:37,887
Oh, you should invite her to the party.
416
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,013
What party?
417
00:15:39,096 --> 00:15:40,306
Why are you so obsessed
418
00:15:40,389 --> 00:15:42,851
with throwing a party all of a sudden?
419
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:44,560
Ow, ow, ow!
420
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,521
You know how much money
we lost 'cause of you?
421
00:15:46,604 --> 00:15:50,149
I can't even afford a hall now
for my daughter's 15th birthday,
422
00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:53,820
and now I got a hundred guests
coming and nowhere to put them.
423
00:15:53,903 --> 00:15:57,948
You owe me a party, cabrón,
and if you don't deliver...
424
00:16:01,452 --> 00:16:03,037
Because parties are fun?
425
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,747
This book is really important to me.
426
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,248
I don't want to just hand
it off to some stranger.
427
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,125
If it's so important, why have you written
428
00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:09,669
literally nothing in a year and a half?
429
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:11,128
It's too much pressure.
430
00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:14,089
This book is my one shot
at preserving my legacy.
431
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,217
I'm a joke, and if this book isn't good,
432
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,927
I'm gonna be a joke forever.
433
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,679
Everyone thinks that I'm
just this washed-up hack,
434
00:16:19,762 --> 00:16:21,430
but actually...
435
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,016
Oh, God, actually, what if they're right?
436
00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:25,935
I can't breathe.
437
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,102
Am I dying?
438
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,355
Toast. I smell burning toast!
439
00:16:29,438 --> 00:16:32,024
Oh, my God, my toast!
440
00:16:32,107 --> 00:16:34,068
Todd, on my grave,
441
00:16:34,151 --> 00:16:39,532
I want it to say that I was born in 1975.
442
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,909
No one's gonna believe...
443
00:16:40,991 --> 00:16:42,869
Damn it, can't you
respect a dying man's wish?
444
00:16:42,952 --> 00:16:44,453
You're not dying.
445
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:52,921
Well, we did everything we could.
446
00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:54,839
Nurse, record the time of death.
447
00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:56,841
It doesn't get easier.
448
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,426
It never gets easier.
449
00:17:02,346 --> 00:17:03,765
What... I don't...
450
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:07,017
What do you mean he's dead?
451
00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:08,728
That's right, sweetheart.
452
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,605
He died of a broken heart
453
00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:12,690
because you didn't appreciate him enough,
454
00:17:12,774 --> 00:17:14,650
and now he's gone forever.
455
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,903
We might have gone too
dark on that series finale.
456
00:17:16,986 --> 00:17:18,153
I'm required to hand you over
457
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:20,072
to the child protective services.
458
00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:21,323
You're the state's problem now.
459
00:17:23,993 --> 00:17:26,495
Do you just take those DVDs
with you everywhere you go?
460
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,956
Linus walked around with a blanket.
461
00:17:28,038 --> 00:17:29,373
No one gave him shit for it.
462
00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:30,792
How long is that doctor going to take?
463
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,418
I have a meeting with
another client at 3:00.
464
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:33,795
You have other clients?
465
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,046
No, I make a living off you
sitting on your ass all day.
466
00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:39,049
Are your other clients
more talented than I am?
467
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,468
Your silence speaks volumes.
468
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,386
♪ That was my intention ♪
469
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:45,473
Well, BoJack, it looks
like what you experienced
470
00:17:45,556 --> 00:17:47,516
was a mild anxiety attack.
471
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,059
Jesus, if that's mild,
472
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:51,479
I don't want to know what spicy feels like.
473
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:52,772
Too smart for the room?
474
00:17:52,855 --> 00:17:54,106
It was a salsa joke, people.
475
00:17:54,189 --> 00:17:55,608
You've been overstressed.
476
00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:57,610
I need you to take it easy.
477
00:17:57,693 --> 00:17:59,445
Take it easy, are you kidding?
478
00:17:59,528 --> 00:18:01,864
He doesn't have a job. He
has no real responsibilities.
479
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,825
He doesn't do anything but take it easy.
480
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,869
Well, can you take it even easier?
481
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,538
I can try, doctor. I can try.
482
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,791
This book deal is
obviously stressing you out.
483
00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:13,876
Will you just call the ghostwriter already?
484
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:18,130
What, you want me to call
this woman on the phone?
485
00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:22,343
Well, you just had another anxiety attack.
486
00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:24,428
And Entertainment Weekly
said I wasn't consistent.
487
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,640
Really, not even a pity laugh?
488
00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:29,308
I did almost die.
489
00:18:29,391 --> 00:18:30,726
Ha.
490
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,145
I have to check on some other patients.
491
00:18:33,228 --> 00:18:34,563
You have other patients?
492
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,774
BoJack, let's have a party, okay?
493
00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:37,984
I'll organize the whole thing.
494
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,234
You can invite the ghostwriter
495
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:41,070
and have a nice, casual conversation
496
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,032
in a fun, pressure-free environment.
497
00:18:44,114 --> 00:18:46,034
Okay, fine. We'll have a party.
498
00:18:46,116 --> 00:18:47,535
Oh, thank God.
499
00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:49,078
But we're not getting
a cotton candy machine.
500
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,663
I can't control myself around those things.
501
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:52,247
I totally hear what you are saying,
502
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:54,416
and I will do my best.
503
00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:11,684
Señor Horseman, I will never
forget your generosity today.
504
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:15,145
You have made a powerful ally for life.
505
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:17,023
Mwah. Let's dance!
506
00:19:17,106 --> 00:19:18,482
Todd, who was that guy?
507
00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:19,734
Who are all these people?
508
00:19:19,817 --> 00:19:21,360
Oh, you know, just a variety of folks
509
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:22,444
from all walks of life.
510
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,946
Is this a quinceañera?
511
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,865
Oh, so any party with Mexican teenage girls
512
00:19:25,948 --> 00:19:26,949
is a quinceañera?
513
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,492
Now who's racist?
514
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:34,623
I find that piñata offensive.
515
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,208
If you'll excuse me,
516
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:39,837
I have a Virgin of
Guadalupe pendant to present.
517
00:19:39,921 --> 00:19:43,632
♪ ♪
518
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,885
BoJack!
519
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:47,261
Oh, good Lord.
520
00:19:47,344 --> 00:19:49,597
Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter.
521
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,266
Can you believe this, the
two of us in the same house?
522
00:19:52,349 --> 00:19:54,268
Is this a crossover episode?
523
00:19:54,351 --> 00:19:56,645
No, I'm just kidding around, man.
524
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,940
Seriously, though, how are you?
525
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,066
Well, I've been kind of up and...
526
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,901
Living the dream, huh? Yeah.
527
00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:03,819
Hey, we'll catch up later, all right?
528
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,947
I want to talk to you.
529
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,407
Erica, how are you looking so beautiful?
530
00:20:08,490 --> 00:20:09,575
I'm furious.
531
00:20:09,658 --> 00:20:13,829
♪ ♪
532
00:20:15,831 --> 00:20:18,084
Hey, BoJack, right?
533
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,502
- BoJack Horseman?
- Yes.
534
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,922
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I don't
want to mispronounce your name.
535
00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:24,548
It's Diane.
536
00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:26,134
Oh, Diane.
537
00:20:26,216 --> 00:20:27,927
Thanks for inviting me to your party.
538
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:29,219
Sorry I haven't really been mingling.
539
00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:31,472
I get kind of awkward at parties.
540
00:20:31,555 --> 00:20:33,390
- Have you tried alcohol?
- I don't know.
541
00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:37,311
Parties make me anxious
in a real broad sense.
542
00:20:37,394 --> 00:20:39,021
Like, look at that guy.
543
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,314
He's having fun.
544
00:20:40,397 --> 00:20:41,565
Why haven't I figured it out?
545
00:20:41,649 --> 00:20:42,650
What guy?
546
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,026
No, there's no guy there.
547
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,320
I'm just saying, like, a guy, you know?
548
00:20:46,403 --> 00:20:47,738
Oh, okay, yeah.
549
00:20:47,822 --> 00:20:49,657
I'm probably just overthinking it
550
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:51,575
because I never got the practice
551
00:20:51,659 --> 00:20:53,452
because I didn't get invited
to any parties in high school.
552
00:20:53,535 --> 00:20:55,329
What am I talking about?
553
00:20:55,412 --> 00:20:57,039
You don't care about any of that.
554
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,499
Shut up, Diane.
555
00:20:58,582 --> 00:21:00,542
You're at a party, compliment the host.
556
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,045
You have a lovely home.
557
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,089
Yeah, well, if you're gonna throw away
558
00:21:05,173 --> 00:21:07,133
most of your adult life
on some dumb sitcom,
559
00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:10,219
you might as well get a sweet
house out of the deal, right?
560
00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:12,596
So what are you working on these days?
561
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,015
Well, mostly I just sit around the house
562
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,224
and complain about things.
563
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:17,309
Yeah, how's that working out for you?
564
00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:19,228
I can't complain, so you know.
565
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,605
No, I will not have sex with you!
566
00:21:21,689 --> 00:21:23,941
This girl wants me to have sex with her.
567
00:21:24,025 --> 00:21:25,776
No, I'm just kidding around.
568
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:27,361
You're a good sport.
569
00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:29,613
- Ugh, you know who that is?
- Mr. Peanutbutter?
570
00:21:29,697 --> 00:21:31,949
Yeah, he was on that show
Mr. Peanutbutter's House
571
00:21:32,033 --> 00:21:34,660
about that dog who adopted
the three human kids.
572
00:21:34,743 --> 00:21:37,579
What a dumb idea for a TV show.
573
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,999
You people are all right.
574
00:21:40,082 --> 00:21:41,458
Who wants an autograph?
575
00:21:41,542 --> 00:21:42,960
He's so stupid he doesn't realize
576
00:21:43,044 --> 00:21:45,462
how miserable he should be. I envy that.
577
00:21:45,546 --> 00:21:47,923
Hey, do you know the story of
the dad from The Brady Bunch?
578
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,299
Do I know his story?
579
00:21:49,383 --> 00:21:50,634
If I recall correctly,
580
00:21:50,718 --> 00:21:51,719
he was bringing up three boys of his own.
581
00:21:51,802 --> 00:21:52,928
Right, but...
582
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,055
They were four men living all together,
583
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:55,139
but they were all alone.
584
00:21:55,264 --> 00:21:57,099
That is profoundly sad.
585
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,228
No, the story is that
the guy who played the dad
586
00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:03,522
hated being on The Brady Bunch
because he was a real actor,
587
00:22:03,605 --> 00:22:05,274
and he considered it beneath him.
588
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:06,692
Sound familiar?
589
00:22:06,775 --> 00:22:08,569
That's not all that was beneath him.
590
00:22:08,652 --> 00:22:10,863
Gay joke. Sorry, I'm better than that.
591
00:22:10,946 --> 00:22:12,698
Most people don't even get to do
592
00:22:12,781 --> 00:22:14,242
The Brady Bunch version
593
00:22:14,324 --> 00:22:15,868
of the thing they want
to do with their lives.
594
00:22:15,951 --> 00:22:18,162
You're actually in a
really good position now,
595
00:22:18,246 --> 00:22:20,122
because you can pretty
much do anything you want.
596
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,916
You're responsible for your
own happiness, you know?
597
00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:24,126
- Good Lord, that's depressing.
- No, it's not.
598
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,836
I'm responsible for my own happiness?
599
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,005
I can't even be responsible
for my own breakfast.
600
00:22:36,430 --> 00:22:37,848
Todd!
601
00:22:37,932 --> 00:22:39,100
I need help.
602
00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:41,769
What would make you happy?
603
00:22:41,852 --> 00:22:43,604
Well, finishing my memoir, I guess.
604
00:22:43,687 --> 00:22:45,647
Is that all? I can help you with that.
605
00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:47,900
Yeah? I mean, would you even want to?
606
00:22:47,983 --> 00:22:49,484
You'd have to spend a lot of time with me.
607
00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:50,903
You'd probably get sick of me.
608
00:22:50,986 --> 00:22:52,446
I don't think that's going to happen.
609
00:22:52,529 --> 00:22:54,448
- No?
- No, BoJack.
610
00:22:54,531 --> 00:22:56,075
Okay.
611
00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:57,910
Well, then I guess you're hired,
612
00:22:57,993 --> 00:23:00,246
but don't put all that stuff
about how sad I am in the book.
613
00:23:00,329 --> 00:23:01,538
Oh, that doesn't count.
614
00:23:01,622 --> 00:23:02,706
We weren't on the clock yet.
615
00:23:02,790 --> 00:23:04,166
Yeah, exactly.
616
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:09,630
You're only my ghostwriter starting nah...
617
00:23:09,713 --> 00:23:11,299
- Starting now.
- You got it.
618
00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:13,301
- BoJack!
- Ugh, this guy.
619
00:23:13,383 --> 00:23:15,177
Hey, man, wanted to let you know,
620
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,762
you are out of beer.
621
00:23:16,845 --> 00:23:18,097
Oh, I see you've met
622
00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:19,723
my beautiful girlfriend, Diane Nguyen.
623
00:23:19,807 --> 00:23:21,225
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second.
624
00:23:21,309 --> 00:23:22,476
You drank all my beer?
625
00:23:22,559 --> 00:23:24,519
- Also, you two are dating?
- Yeah.
626
00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:26,314
- You're dating him?
- Yes.
627
00:23:26,396 --> 00:23:27,481
This is your boyfriend?
628
00:23:27,564 --> 00:23:28,899
- That is correct.
- Uh-huh.
629
00:23:28,983 --> 00:23:30,859
- You are going out with you?
- Uh-huh.
630
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:32,569
But in a sexual way, not just as friends?
631
00:23:32,653 --> 00:23:33,988
- That's right.
- You have seen her naked.
632
00:23:34,071 --> 00:23:35,281
Many times, yes.
633
00:23:35,364 --> 00:23:36,740
- You are attracted to this?
- Yes.
634
00:23:36,824 --> 00:23:38,533
This penis has been inside this vagina.
635
00:23:38,617 --> 00:23:39,660
- Yep.
- But in a sexual way.
636
00:23:39,743 --> 00:23:42,037
Oh, yes.
637
00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:43,247
Humph.
638
00:23:45,874 --> 00:23:47,293
- Ugh.
- Oh, my God.
639
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,088
Are you okay?
640
00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:52,173
I'm just...
641
00:23:52,256 --> 00:23:55,050
I'm fine.
642
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:56,760
I'm just... I'm really happy for you.
643
00:23:57,928 --> 00:23:59,638
Should we get someone, or...
644
00:23:59,721 --> 00:24:01,265
No, everything's...
645
00:24:01,349 --> 00:24:03,184
Oh, this is really...
646
00:24:03,267 --> 00:24:04,726
Wonderful.
647
00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:05,894
Oh, God.
648
00:24:08,814 --> 00:24:11,066
Starting now.
649
00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:17,198
♪ ♪
650
00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:19,741
♪ Back in the '90s ♪
651
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:24,830
♪ I was in a very famous TV show ♪
652
00:24:24,913 --> 00:24:26,999
♪ ♪
653
00:24:27,082 --> 00:24:28,876
- ♪ I'm BoJack the horse ♪
- ♪ BoJack ♪
654
00:24:28,959 --> 00:24:30,294
♪ BoJack the horse ♪
655
00:24:30,378 --> 00:24:34,256
♪ Don't act like you don't know ♪
656
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:36,258
♪ ♪
657
00:24:36,342 --> 00:24:40,470
♪ And I'm trying to
hold on to my past ♪
658
00:24:40,554 --> 00:24:42,014
♪ It's been so long ♪
659
00:24:42,097 --> 00:24:45,517
♪ I don't think I'm gonna last ♪
660
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,852
♪ I guess I'll just try ♪
661
00:24:46,935 --> 00:24:49,021
♪ And make you understand ♪
662
00:24:49,104 --> 00:24:53,401
♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪
663
00:24:53,483 --> 00:24:58,030
♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪
664
00:24:58,113 --> 00:25:00,115
♪ BoJack ♪
665
00:25:02,117 --> 00:25:03,285
Boxer versus raptor.
666
00:25:03,369 --> 00:25:06,121
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪
667
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:10,721
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
47515
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.