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1
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,917
James or Susan?
2
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,996
James or Susan?
3
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,195
Darrin!
4
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,909
We have to settle on a name.
5
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,917
Sam, how many times have I told you,
6
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,032
never talk in the middle
of somebody's backswing?
7
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,873
Sorry.
8
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,470
Okay, okay. Now, what was it you asked me?
9
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,036
- I said we have to settle on a name.
- We did last night.
10
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,276
James if it's a boy and Susan if it's a girl.
11
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,551
Yeah, I know, but I thought it over,
and I've changed my mind.
12
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:46,276
I don't want to settle on just any old name.
It should be something romantic.
13
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,313
How about Romeo if it's a boy
and Juliet if it's a girl?
14
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,910
Darrin, either help me find a name
or go play golf.
15
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,553
Okay, okay.
16
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,590
How about Scott or Timothy?
17
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,553
You'll be disappointed if it isn't a boy,
won't you?
18
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,558
- Don't be silly.
- Yes, you will.
19
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,514
All men want a little boy
so they can see themselves walking around.
20
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,200
Okay, let's concentrate on boys' names.
21
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,314
- Oh, hi, sweetheart.
- I decided I don't want a brother.
22
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:20,070
- Well, maybe it'll be a little sister.
- But you said it would be a baby brother.
23
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,555
No, I didn't, sweetheart, not really.
24
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,875
That's something we won't know
till after it's born.
25
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,753
Don't you like little girls any more?
26
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,156
Oh, sweetheart, of course we do.
We love little girls.
27
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,556
We were just trying to think up a boy's name
in case it's a boy.
28
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,151
I understand.
Some people like boys better than girls.
29
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,151
- What do you think?
- Dr Spock we're not.
30
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,395
Hey, what did you do that for?
31
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,273
I'm Tabitha, and I want to talk to somebody.
32
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,552
Hey! You shouldn't have done that.
33
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,997
- What's your name?
- Can't you even read?
34
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,795
I'm Jack, and that's a beanstalk,
and I gotta climb it.
35
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,718
- Why?
- Because that's the story.
36
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,512
Girls sure are dumb.
37
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,112
I guess that's why
my mommy and daddy want a boy,
38
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,559
'cause they're smarter.
39
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,113
We're not so smart.
40
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,834
You should've seen
the dopey thing I did yesterday.
41
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,032
My mom gave me the old cow to sell
'cause we're poor.
42
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,072
I sold it to the butcher
for a bag of magic beans.
43
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,629
Did I ever get it? Wow!
44
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,790
- Do you have a daddy?
- Nope, never had one.
45
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,150
Well, I better get back
on that stupid beanstalk.
46
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,636
I got an awful long way to climb
and I'm just pooped.
47
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,752
- Would you like a daddy?
- Sure, what kid wouldn't?
48
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,438
Then you can have mine.
49
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,758
You'd like my daddy.
He plays golf and everything.
50
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,078
- Golf? What's that?
- I don't know, but my daddy will teach you.
51
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:23,479
- But suppose your folks don't like me.
- I told you. They like boys better than girls.
52
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,036
And I never climbed a beanstalk before. Bye.
53
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,595
Hey, where'd you go?
54
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,749
Tabitha?
55
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,068
Tabitha?
56
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,670
- Here I am!
- Come on off of there!
57
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,759
- I want to see what's on the top.
- But there's a giant on the top.
58
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,995
Goody!
59
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,190
Don't worry, sweetheart.
Tabitha's just like any other kid.
60
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,435
Almost.
61
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,870
I mean, well,
she'll brood for a while and then accept it.
62
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,035
I hope.
63
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,789
That's what I like,
a man of strong convictions.
64
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,871
- Oh, hi, Mother.
- Hello, darling.
65
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,639
Endora, have you ever thought of knocking?
66
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,310
- Would that make you feel better?
- Yes.
67
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,634
Very well.
68
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,998
That's disgusting.
69
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,830
Now, Durwood,
why don't you take your ball and bat
70
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,918
and go do whatever it is you do with them?
71
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,436
It's not a bat. It's a club.
72
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,630
And if I did with it
what I wanted to do with it...
73
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:34,795
Darrin.
74
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,919
- Sounds like my mother.
- Sounds like a dreary Sunday.
75
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,110
I just remembered
I have a pressing engagement
76
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,832
that I have to iron out.
77
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,392
Oh, I'm such a wit!
78
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,399
Well, at least we know now
how to get rid of her.
79
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,039
Sweetheart,
why don't you let your mother in?
80
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,151
I want to check on Tabitha.
81
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,917
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, Darrin.
82
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,076
Glad you dropped in.
83
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,079
What'd you drop in about?
84
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,998
Does a mother need a reason
to visit her son?
85
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,629
Tabitha?
86
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,115
Hi.
87
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,716
- Who are you?
- Jack.
88
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,997
- Jack who?
- Just Jack. I don't think I have a last name.
89
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,030
- Where's Tabitha?
- Climbing that dumb beanstalk.
90
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,597
Jack! Jack and the Beanstalk!
91
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,473
Good grief,
she zapped you out of a fairy tale!
92
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,991
She did something. Anyhow, here I am.
How do you like me?
93
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,553
I beg your pardon?
94
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,389
Tabitha said you like boys better than girls,
and I'm a boy.
95
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,115
- That's not true.
- I am so a boy!
96
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,276
No. No, I mean, it's not true
that we don't like her. We love her.
97
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,437
- Does that mean you don't want me?
- Yes.
98
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,028
I mean, no. I mean...
99
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,071
Oh, my stars!
100
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,269
Sam.
101
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,789
Sam, Mother would like to see...
Who is that?
102
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,475
Jack. I'm pleased to meet you, sir.
103
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,154
How do you do? Where's Tabitha?
104
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,032
- Tabitha is...
- Out.
105
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,996
Sam, what's going on?
106
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,439
Tabitha.
107
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,873
Tabitha, come give Grandma a great, big...
108
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,229
Where's Tabitha?
109
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,713
- Tabitha is...
- Out.
110
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:40,955
Out where?
111
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,559
- Climbing a...
- Fence
112
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,398
at a neighbour's house.
113
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,676
- Who is this?
- Jack.
114
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,475
- A friend.
- What odd clothes.
115
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,911
Yes. Yes, they're junior mod.
It's all the rage.
116
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,113
What's golf?
117
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,876
- Tabitha said you'd teach me.
- Teach you?
118
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,312
Sure, sure.
119
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,000
Mother, why don't you go downstairs
and make yourself a cup of tea?
120
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,519
Oh, thank you.
121
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,517
Would you like some milk and cookies,
young man?
122
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,358
- He's not hungry.
- Yes, I would, ma'am.
123
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,959
Come along then.
124
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,753
Darrin, you get down there this minute
and don't take your eyes off him.
125
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,030
No, wait a minute. Better yet,
why don't you go out and play golf?
126
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,593
Mother and I'll handle this.
127
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,315
Sam, where is Tabitha,
and who is that dopey-looking kid?
128
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:36,072
- Tabitha's playing, and he's Jack.
- I know he's Jack. Where is Tabitha?
129
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,034
Well...
130
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,038
She ran away from home, sort of.
131
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,354
Now, how do you
"sort of" run away from home?
132
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:52,077
Instead of walking out a door,
you just climb up a beanstalk.
133
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,349
A what?
134
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,234
- A...
- No. No. Don't repeat it. A beanstalk.
135
00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:01,194
Jack and the Beanstalk. Why?
136
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,950
Because she thinks
we like boys better than girls. Because...
137
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,798
Well, I'm not sure why.
138
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,310
Sweetheart, you trust me. I'll get her back.
139
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,194
Now, why don't you go downstairs
and keep an eye on Jack?
140
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,237
- Sam?
- Yoo-hoo, sweetheart. Here I am.
141
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,918
- Sam, come back.
- I'll be right back.
142
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,948
Tabitha? Tabitha?
143
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,517
"Giant's Castle, trespassers welcome."
144
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,712
They sure are, especially at lunchtime.
145
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,870
- You startled me.
- You put a fright in me, too.
146
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,514
You don't belong in this story.
Who are you?
147
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,029
No, don't tell me.
You're one of them witches.
148
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,230
Something like that,
but I'll only stay a minute.
149
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,554
Stay as long as you like.
150
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,513
It's a change to have someone new
to talk to now and then.
151
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,198
Well, I haven't got much time for talk.
152
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,356
I'm looking for a little girl, blonde,
about so high.
153
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,233
Never saw her. The only kid I know is Jack.
154
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:27,275
- You must be the giant's wife.
- Of course I'm the giant's wife.
155
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,278
But don't envy me married to that big goof.
156
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,790
If he's not counting his treasure,
he's eating himself into a stupor.
157
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,911
- Ma'am...
- And the things he puts into his stomach,
158
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,156
- it's a wonder he don't have indigestion.
- Ma'am, I...
159
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:42,068
Do you know what my grocery bill was
for this week alone?
160
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,955
- Ma'am, if you'll just tell me...
- I am telling you, 1,000 gold crowns.
161
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,470
If a couple of trespassers didn't wander
into the castle now and then,
162
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,478
- it would be twice that much.
- Ma'am, I really have to find my daughter.
163
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,878
If I'm not shopping for food,
I'm bent over a hot stove cooking food,
164
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,675
while he's fee-fi-fo-fumming
all over the place.
165
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,313
Excuse me.
166
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,794
Tabitha? Tabitha?
167
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,912
Okay, okay.
If you want to be his midmorning snack,
168
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,235
just keep heading for the castle.
169
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,434
Tabitha?
170
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,235
Pardon me. May I see the giant, please?
171
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,920
No. He don't see nobody
unless his name is Jack.
172
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,035
Pardon me. Are you a giant?
173
00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:04,074
I am not a giant. I am the giant!
And who in tarnation are you?
174
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,031
My name is Tabitha.
175
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,953
There's no Tabitha in this story.
176
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,596
- There is now. Do you know why?
- Yes, because you're a witch.
177
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,359
No, 'cause I ran away from home
178
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,870
on account of my mommy and daddy
are having a baby brother.
179
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,993
- That's why.
- Oh, it's a very charming tale of woe.
180
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,478
There's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
181
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:36,309
I don't adopt children, I only eat them!
182
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,876
I know. Are they delicious?
183
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,800
They can be quite tasty at times.
184
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,513
- Are you going to eat me?
- What are you, some kind of nut?
185
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,392
You don't like me either.
186
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:54,389
I'm a mean, evil giant, for pity's sake.
I don't like anybody.
187
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:59,435
My mommy says I'm delicious,
all sugar and spice and everything nice.
188
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,154
You're making my mouth water.
189
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,590
No, thank you.
I couldn't swallow another bite.
190
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,439
Besides,
I'm only allowed to eat storybook children.
191
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,233
Now, please go!
192
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,432
What's that?
193
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:20,432
That's my magic harp
and my hen who lays the golden eggs.
194
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,791
- Can I play with them?
- No, you can't!
195
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:28,072
I'm a very busy giant, little girl. So vamoose!
196
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,677
Fee, fi, fo, fum.
197
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,476
I smell the blood of an Englishman!
198
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,070
I know a poem, too.
"Mary had a little lamb..."
199
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:46,115
Will you be quiet
and let me get on with the story?
200
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:51,439
- That rascal Jack will be here any minute.
- No, he won't. He's living in my house.
201
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,472
Nonsense.
He comes into the castle on the next page.
202
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,794
- He won't.
- Will.
203
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,672
- Won't.
- Will!
204
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:02,758
Listen, kid,
I've been living this story for 100 years.
205
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:07,237
Jack always comes by at this time
to try to rob me of my treasure.
206
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,078
Can't I rob you instead?
207
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,909
No, you can't!
It would change the whole story!
208
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,474
Now get lost!
209
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,672
- I am lost.
- Oh, boy.
210
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:26,230
Now, listen, little girl,
I am about to lose my temper!
211
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:31,113
If you lose your temper,
I'll make a no-no at you.
212
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,748
- Here we are.
- Thank you, ma'am.
213
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,193
Where's Samantha?
214
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:45,872
She went out front for a while
to pick some flowers, so to speak.
215
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,956
You poor, starved darling.
216
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,036
You look as though you hadn't eaten
in a week.
217
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,357
I haven't, not since I sold the cow.
218
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,631
You had a cow in this neighbourhood?
219
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,591
So you want to learn how to play golf,
huh, Jack?
220
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,439
She went dry on us. And yes, I do, sir.
221
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,949
Swell, swell. Here, put that right down there.
222
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,514
You see, the secret to the game
is in the overlapping grip.
223
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,234
Please, Darrin,
I'm trying to understand the child.
224
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,036
- So you sold a cow...
- To the butcher for a mess of magic beans.
225
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,516
- Magic beans?
- Which grew into a tall beanstalk.
226
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,916
And the second secret is to keep
your mouth shut when addressing the ball.
227
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,271
It seems to me I've heard that story before.
228
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,914
Speaking of heard,
I think I heard Samantha upstairs.
229
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,554
So I climbed up the beanstalk...
230
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,672
- I'm getting a sick headache.
- I'll get you something.
231
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,519
And at the top of the beanstalk,
there's a giant.
232
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,789
Make it the extra-strength tablets.
233
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,557
Sam? Sam, come home. Come home!
234
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,274
Relax, Darwin. Relax.
235
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,349
What are you doing here?
236
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:55,110
Waiting for your mother
and that grubby little boy to leave.
237
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,357
Do you have any idea
what's going on down there?
238
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,755
Certainly, I peeked.
239
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,998
It's a rerun of Jack and the Beanstalk
in living colour.
240
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,430
That kid is going to drive my mother crazy.
241
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,595
Yes?
242
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,315
Endora, couldn't you just once
do something constructive?
243
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,795
- Like what?
- Like finding Sam and Tabitha.
244
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,117
- Aren't you concerned about them?
- Oh, certainly not.
245
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:23,358
As a child I used to zap myself
into literature at the drop of a hat.
246
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,436
Of course, I was more precocious.
247
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:30,759
I know I had this mad thing for Hamlet.
And one day, I changed places with Ophelia.
248
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,111
I had a delightful time confusing my nurse.
249
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,231
Oh, no. That was the time I played Juliet.
250
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,510
Oh, never mind.
I'll read about it in your memoirs.
251
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,871
Right now zap yourself onto that beanstalk
and bring them back.
252
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,595
Climb a beanstalk in my Lili Arlege original?
Are you mad?
253
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,793
- Endora, their lives may be in danger.
- Oh, fiddle-de-dah.
254
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,310
Any child that can zap herself
into a fairy tale
255
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,795
can zap herself right out of it.
256
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,194
- Who be you?
- I be...
257
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,676
I mean,
I'm looking for a little girl about so high.
258
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,789
I'm her mother.
259
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,229
- Named Tabitha?
- Yes, yes.
260
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:24,830
- You will pay for her no-nos.
- What did she do?
261
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,111
You should be ashamed
to raise such a wicked little girl.
262
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,275
Go!
263
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,229
Tabitha?
264
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,875
Tabitha?
265
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,313
Tabitha?
266
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,190
All right, Tabitha, playtime is over.
267
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,438
I do not intend to spend an entire Sunday
in a dungeon.
268
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,516
Ma'am,
I'm taking my life in my hands coming here,
269
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,200
but I've seen enough trouble for one day.
270
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,472
Take my advice, run, do not walk,
to the nearest exit.
271
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,716
I don't intend to leave without my daughter.
272
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,799
If I find her, I'll put her on the beanstalk
personally and send her home,
273
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,319
the rotten kid.
274
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,637
- What has she done?
- What has she done?
275
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,589
Lay.
276
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,238
The hen that laid the golden egg, right?
277
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,789
She wanted an omelette for breakfast.
278
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,435
Wait. My husband, the giant's magic harp.
279
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:36,595
Play.
280
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,033
Stop!
281
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,157
The only thing
that will soothe his savage breast is Chopin,
282
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,555
and she gives him the Rolling Stones.
283
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,274
Fee, fi, fo, fum.
284
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,313
And if you think that's bad,
wait'll you see what she did to him.
285
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:58,036
I smell the blood of an Englishman!
286
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,839
That's a giant?
287
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:13,195
Go ahead, laugh. Laugh.
They're all laughing at me,
288
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:18,872
the townsfolk, my manservants, my guards,
even my wife.
289
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,470
- I only snickered once.
- I'm sure she didn't mean to do it.
290
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,433
Nice children have respect for their elders.
291
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,433
Nice elders
don't threaten to eat little children.
292
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,870
I've been frightening kids for 100 years.
293
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,551
And look at me now, cut down in me prime.
294
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,148
In my eyes, you'll always be a giant.
295
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,116
Oh, shut up!
296
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,518
Shut up? Shut up?
Listen, small fry, say "shut up" to me again,
297
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,870
and I'll squash you under my heel
like an ant!
298
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,912
Even she doesn't respect me any more!
299
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,351
- Mommy, Mommy.
- Tabitha.
300
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,797
- You put her in chains?
- She insisted.
301
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,592
They're fun, Mommy.
302
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,759
There is nothing fun or funny
about running away, young lady.
303
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,269
- I'm sorry, Mommy.
- "Sorry," she said,
304
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,676
after what she did to an innocent giant.
305
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,156
Please, sir, we'll stretch you back to size.
Go on, Tabitha.
306
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,078
But, Mommy,
he's easier to play with this way.
307
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,671
- I don't want to play with you.
- You do as I say, young lady.
308
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,153
No!
309
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,070
Spunky little kid, ain't she?
310
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,910
Tabitha, you're a little witch,
but I'm a bigger witch, so if you don't...
311
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,996
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
312
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,916
I'm a giant again! A giant!
313
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,952
Fee, fi, fo, fum!
314
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,476
Now the hen and the harp.
315
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,108
Now, if you'll excuse us...
316
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:15,397
You'll squash who under whose heel?
317
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,510
So I hid in the castle
until the giant fell fast asleep.
318
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,200
And I snuck up behind him,
and I grabbed the hen
319
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,357
and ran as fast
as my little feet could carry me.
320
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,709
This poor child
is having a nervous breakdown.
321
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,637
He is?
322
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,796
He is, he is. That's it.
323
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,388
It's from malnutrition. He needs help.
324
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,198
- Where'd he go?
- Maybe he went to get some help.
325
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,879
And I think I heard Samantha upstairs.
326
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,833
And I think I'm getting another
sick headache.
327
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,192
- I'll get you another pill.
- And the address of a qualified psychiatrist.
328
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,711
Now, sweetheart,
I know it's hard for you to understand,
329
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:22,072
but Daddy and I have enough love in us
for both you and the new baby.
330
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,475
But you haven't seen the baby yet.
331
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,194
Maybe it will look funny
and you won't like it.
332
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,070
If it looks funny, we'll love it all the more.
333
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,591
Then I hope it looks pretty,
because I want you to love me all the more.
334
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,311
Okay. It's a deal.
335
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,033
Now go to sleep.
336
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,438
How'd your woman-to-woman talk go?
337
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,755
- Just fine. She's okay now.
- Good.
338
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,029
How's your mother?
339
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,799
Well, she's a little shook-up,
but she'll be all right.
340
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,114
Darrin?
341
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,518
- There's one thing that really puzzles me.
- What's that?
342
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,790
That you're not sorry you married me.
343
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,150
Between this big witch
and the little witch upstairs
344
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,512
and that witch of a mother of mine,
you're really up to your neck in witches.
345
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,710
That's a fair statement, and I'd be lying
346
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,753
if I didn't say there are times
when I wonder if it's all worth it.
347
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,872
Of course, there are other times
when I realise I couldn't live without you.
348
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,719
I'll admit that's almost all the time.
349
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,556
I love you and that little witch upstairs.
350
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,192
And Mother?
351
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,118
Well, two out of three. That's not bad.
352
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,309
Darrin.
353
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:52,909
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