Original subtitles

Come on. We have to be at the theatre by 8:15 to pick up the tickets.

All right, darling, but we can't leave until Aunt Clara gets here, anyway.

That's when we shouldn't leave, when Aunt Clara gets here.

Why don't we hire a teenager or a nice little old lady to babysit?

It's a wild idea, but think of the novelty.

Very funny.

Until Tabatha learns to control her witchcraft, we have no other choice.

I think Aunt Clara's here.

One more time.

Well, I made it through.

You mean you opened it?

Well, you can't win them all.

Aunt Clara, we appreciate you babysitting for us. We won't be late.

Now, you know there's nothing I'd rather do than be with Tabatha.

Now, have fun, have fun. And we'll be fine.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Larry. We were just leaving.

Sam, our babysitter just called and said she can't make it.

As long as you have Aunt Clara sitting with Tabatha...

...could we bring Jonathan over?

Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll have to go to the play without us.

Well....

Yes. Yes, I suppose that'll be all right.

Aunt Clara can babysit for both of them.

Fine, Larry. Bye.

Sam, Aunt Clara sitting with Tabatha is one thing.

Tabatha can always hold her own with the:

You think we can leave her with two babies?

Oh, now, Darrin, don't worry. Let's not borrow trouble.

Borrow it? Who needs to borrow it? We get a daily supply.

Well, I guess everything's all set.

You won't forget how to give Tabatha her bottle?

Oh, heavens, no. I take a drop of milk and put it on the elbow to test it...

...and then I put it in the baby's mouth.

The bottle, not the elbow.

Come on. I'll remind you how to use the bottle warmer.

Come on, Larry. We'd better be going.

I can't get over how Jonathan's growing.

It's already his second birthday. Tomorrow he'll be 2.

Well, congratulations. I wish I would have known.

We'd have had a celebration, put a nipple on a bottle of champagne.

But a son can grow into something a father can be proud of...

...Iike a leader of industry or a scientist...

...or even the President of the United States.

Lar, when your young president gets married...

...he'll have somebody's daughter telling him how to run the country.

You wouldn't believe the way he's changing from day to day.

Here, I got a couple of pictures to show you.

Why do I have to look at pictures? The kid's standing right there.

Here, look at this:

Is that an expression? Is that a face?

Well, if you really want to see something....

-How about that? -Not bad.

One day, the mean, nasty wolf...

...went to the first piggy's house...

...and he huffed and he puffed...

...and in one breath, he blew the whole house down.

Hard to believe, isn't it?

I think that's enough bedtime stories now.

Now then, what else can we do to have fun?

Oh, I know.

Aunt Clara will perform some magic for you.

Now, look closely.

Nothing up my sleeves.

Now the magic words.

My sleeves. No sleeves.

Well...

...wasn't what I had in mind, of course.

Well, now, let's try again. Maybe the words were wrong.

Oh, my goodness. I wanted a pony.

This is for you, Tabatha.

Now we'll try to get that pony for Jonathan.

Pinch a freckle

One to boot

But you're not a pony.

Two Jonathans.

What did I say, so I can make them one again?

Fleck a tag--

Yes, yes.

Fleck a tag

Pinch a wallaby

Now I get a pony.

Well, that was good enough, wasn't it?

-Wasn't she a marvellous dancer? -Beautiful.

-Tall girl, she was just marvellous. -How about a cup of coffee?

No, thanks, Darrin. I have to catch that 9:00 plane for Chicago.

Which means that I have to get up at 6 to pack for him.

And I have to get up at 5 to feed the baby.

-I'll go get Jonathan. -Oh, boy.

Well, I'd better go...

...and see about the bottle warmer.

Now, you--

Oh, hello, dear.

-Aunt Clara? -Just a minute.

Aunt Clara, may I come in?

Right away.

-What are you doing? -Tidying up.

Tidying up.

My sleeves.

Oh, my sleeves came back.

Well, that's a step in the right direction.

I think.

Come on, darling.

Come in, dear.

What on earth...?

Yes, we--

We were just playing.

Playing? Where? There isn't any room.

Oh, and why are the children up? Really, Aunt Clara.

Now, there's a reason for that.

What was that?

Oh, you mean the noise like a baby gurgling.

Yes.

I didn't hear it.

There are two of them.

Two of them.

And I don't know how I did it.

But, Aunt Clara.

Well, you have to try and remember that spell.

You're the only one who can remove it. How am I gonna explain this?

Suppose we say that he was taken by the gypsies...

...and has just been returned.

Aunt Clara, which one is the real Jonathan?

Well, you see, that's-- I don't know.

-You don't know? -No, I don't know.

Now look, I am going to go downstairs and try and stall them.

Now, you just rack that dear, sweet brain of yours and think of that spell.

I will.

Now, don't go to pieces, dear.

You just be calm and concentrate and I'm sure it'll come to you.

And even if it doesn't, our troubles are over.

They are?

Because when Darrin finds out, he'll fix everything.

He'll kill us.

Oh, if I could remember that spell.

Oh, dear.

Bentley

Who?

Oh, I'm such a dumb witch.

-What's taking Sam so long? -I'll go give a look.

-ls everything all right, honey? -Fine, darling.

While we wait for Aunt Clara to bundle up Jonathan...

...how about a game of bridge?

Sam, I have to be up early to catch that plane.

-A quick game of chess? -"A quick game of chess"?

Well.... Four-handed gin rummy?

Really, Samantha, we have to be going.

Oh, now, Louise. It isn't that late.

They stay up later than this in a senior citizen city. I'll fix some coffee.

Sam, we really don't want any.

-lt'll only take a minute. -Sam, they don't want any coffee.

-A nice cup of tea, then? -Oh, please, Sam, no.

I know, hot chocolate. Make you sleep like a baby, Larry.

Sam, they don't want anything to drink.

I'll fix us something to eat then.

Sam, we really don't want anything. I swear it.

-Oh, but I insist. -What?

-"What" what? -Sam.

Larry's going to Chicago tomorrow. It'll be sort of a bon voyage party.

Midnight luau.

-Luau? -Luau.

-Sam, I wanna talk to you. -What about?

-Okay, Sam, out with it. -Out with what?

I've been married to you long enough to know when something's wrong.

Well, Darrin...

-...it's Aunt Clara. -What about her?

Why do I keep getting the feeling that I'm being held a prisoner?

What?

Never mind, dear. Family affair.

Not so loud.

-Two Jonathans? -Well, darling...

...Aunt Clara will think of the spell. Everything will be fine.

How long can you stall Larry and Louise?

They wanna take their kid home. Can't we let them take one home?

-Darrin, you can't do that. -Why?

Because one is Jonathan and the other is Aunt Clara's magic.

-We don't know which one's which. -Oh, fine.

We have to keep the two babies together or the spell won't work.

Now, let's go outside and stall them.

Stall them how? How? How? How?

Samantha, we really do have to be going.

-Now, if we can just have Jonathan-- -I have an idea.

No, please. I don't wanna play games or eat or dance or anything.

I just want to get some sleep.

As long as Jonathan is already asleep, why not let him spend the night?

-Right, Darrin? -Oh, yeah, right.

Then you wouldn't have to get up at 5 to feed him, Larry.

-You could sleep till almost plane time. -Yeah.

-Hey, that's a thought. -Oh, I don't know, Larry--

Oh, good. Then it's all settled.

Louise can pick up Jonathan after she's taken you to the airport.

-Well, just a minute, Samantha-- -Have a good trip, Larry.

-Good night. -Night-night.

-Good night. -Good night.

-What a relief. -What do you mean?

We're still up to here in trouble.

Oh, if I could only remember that spell now.

-Aunt Clara, you did it. -Oh, well, not entirely.

I made the toys disappear.

What toys? Never mind. I don't think I wanna hear about it.

But I'm not getting anywhere with him. Or with him.

Oh, dear, I'm getting all the "finchleys" and "bixleys" and "bixeys" mixed up.

Why can't I have the ordinary, wonderful, everyday problems...

...that every other husband has?

Eight-thirty. Louise will be here in an hour to pick up Jonathan.

What if the answer isn't in that witchcraft book?

I've got it. Positively.

What?

That's the spell?

Well, that's the first half of it.

-Oh, good, good. -Good?

-Well, half a spell is better than none. -Not in this case, Darrin.

Because even with half a spell we still have twins.

Keep trying, Aunt Clara.

I'll get it.

-Good morning, Darrin. -Oh, Louise.

What are you doing here?

Well, obviously, I came to pick up Jonathan.

-May I come in? -Sure.

Good morning. What are you doing here so early?

Oh, Larry took a taxi to the airport so I could sleep.

Then I found I couldn't sleep without a baby in the house.

-Slight case of "motheritis" I guess. -Yeah.

Well, have a seat, Louise.

I'll tell Sam you're here.

-It's Louise. -Oh, no.

Now, we'll get Louise out on the patio somehow.

Now, Aunt Clara, when the coast is clear...

...you take the other twin and sneak him upstairs.

-I will. -Come on, Darrin. You take Tabatha.

Okay.

-Ready? -Ready.

-Hi, Louise. -Oh, good morning, Samantha.

Jonathan, honey, did you have a good time?

Come on, come to Mommy.

-You're just in time for breakfast. -Oh, no, thanks, Samantha.

As long as I got an early start, there are things I might as well get done.

Have a cup of coffee. I'll bring it out to the patio.

-No, I really have to be running. -You can't.

-Why not? -I mean, not yet.

-Why not? -Why not?

Well, because today is Jonathan's birthday.

That's right. It's Jonathan's birthday.

-Larry said so last night. -And we've planned a party.

A party? Why, isn't that sweet?

I don't want you to go to any trouble, Sam.

Oh, no trouble at all.

Oh, no.

No, Louise. No trouble.

Why, I can have everything ready just like that:

There. Now, why don't we all go to the party?

Come on, Jonathan, Tabatha, darling.

-Louise, take a look. -Oh, it's darling.

What a lovely surprise.

Freckles and-- Freckles and--

No. No, that's wrong too.

No. No, that's not it. No.

Finch a boot?

Tag a pinch

Excuse me.

Good morning, Aunt Clara.

Well, well, well. How's my little guy, huh?

-Has he been behaving? -Oh, yes.

Just like an angel. Like two angels.

-Oh, that's marvellous. -Yes.

-Hi, Larry. -Sam.

-Why aren't you in Chicago? -Well, the airport's all fogged in...

...so I thought I'd pick up Jonathan and save Louise a trip.

Aunt Clara, why don't you go upstairs and work out that little problem, fast?

Yes. Oh, and just in case...

...will you keep an open mind about a larger family?

Well, I have to get back to the airport.

I've just got time to get him home and celebrate his birthday with Louise.

But, Larry, we're having a birthday party for him here.

That's really sweet of you, Sam, but you shouldn't have gone to any trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble. It's all set up in the kitchen.

No more trouble than that:

Oh, this is too much.

You and Darrin are the greatest.

Darrin, it was so nice of you and Sam to plan such a lovely birthday party.

It was nothing, Louise, nothing at all.

But I think I will have that cup of coffee after all.

-Okay. Let's all go into the kitchen. -All right.

There we go.

Why don't you take a whistle, huh? There you go. Come on.

And a birthday hat for Jon 0-2.

Sam, we--

Louise, the kitchen's such a mess, I'm sure Sam wouldn't want you to see it.

Let's go back on the patio.

Well, what was that all about?

We were playing hide-and-seek with the babies.

Darrin's trying to hide. Excuse me.

Well, shall we join the party, birthday boy?

You sit right here, Louise. I'll get you that coffee.

This is really turning into a surprise party. What's--?

Louise, it's getting a little chilly out here.

-Why don't we all go in the den? -Good idea.

Wouldn't want the kids to catch cold. Come on.

I'm beginning to feel like a yo-yo. Come on.

Where shall we hide, huh?

Hide. That's right. Come on. Here we go.

You go right ahead. I'll get the coffee.

Larry-- Larry?

-Much better in here, huh, Louise? -Well, I was fine on the patio.

Why don't I get the camera and take some birthday pictures?

-I'd love it, if it's no trouble. -Oh, no trouble. I got it right here.

-What was that? -What? Oh, that noise.

Yeah, much too noisy in here for me too. If you'd prefer the patio....

-I didn't say that l'd-- -It's much better on the patio.

It's a little too warm in the den, Sam. The patio is better.

You go out there and I'll get sweaters for the babies.

-Okay. Tabatha. -Oh, my stars.

I thought I heard Louise.

Did you hear your mommy talking?

Could be a dream.

Say, maybe I am on my way to Chicago.

Is this a birthday party or am I in training for the Olympics?

-Louise. -Larry, you're in Chicago.

The flight was delayed.

How did you get Jonathan?

The stork brought him.

-I mean, Samantha just took him-- -Why don't you two...

...go on out on the patio and have some cake?

I'll take Jonathan upstairs and put his sweater on him.

Well, what--?

After all, last time I was much younger.

Last time? You mean this happened before?

Well, it wasn't quite the same.

When?

Can you remember when it happened?

Ten years ago. Oh, I have a very good mind for dates.

And then you remembered the spell?

Remember...?

Oh, yes. Yeah.

Then you'll remember it now.

From the fountain of youth A drink I pour

You're 10 years younger Than you were before.

Why, I haven't had this dress on for years.

Can you remember the spell now, Aunt Clara?

Yes.

Yes, I've got it. I think I've got it.

Sam.

-Sam, they saw each other. -It's perfectly all right.

Aunt Clara's remembered the spell. I hope.

-Are you sure? -Positive.

Oh, I know I'm a little vague at times...

...but, on the other hand, when I forget something...

...I'm definite.

That's not quite what I meant....

Go ahead, Aunt Clara.

One to boot

-She did it. -Yeah. How about that?

Well, we better get Jonathan downstairs.

What have you done to yourself? You look different.

Oh, Samantha did that. I'm 10 years younger.

Ten years younger?

Well, those 10 years certainly went by faster...

...than they did the first time around, didn't they?

Darrin?

-Darrin? -Coming, Larry.

-Well, that was some birthday party. -Yeah, if that's what it was.

-What do you mean? -Well, what do you think it was?

Well, I don't know. What was it?

Well, here we are.

Well, not to be a birthday party-pooper, but I have to get to the airport.

-Just wanted to kiss my boy goodbye. -Well, help yourself, old dad.

Oh, here you go. So long, slugger.

Be a good boy.

-See you tomorrow, Mommy. -Bye, dear.

You know, I wish I had another one just like him.

Now he tells us.

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