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1
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,953
Morning, morning.
2
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,509
Reg, coffee to go, please.
3
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,477
Bob, you're the superintendent
of my building.
4
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,039
Why are you here sitting
on your ass
5
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,316
when I don't have hot water
in my apartment?
6
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,596
Ah, a riddle.
7
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:36,672
- Okay, give me a minute.
- A minute?
8
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,150
This is not your girlfriend
you're talking to. This is me.
9
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,470
Here you go.
Eat at Wong's, free egg roll.
10
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,557
Here you go.
Eat at Wong's, free egg roll.
11
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,955
Here you go.
Eat at Wong's, free egg roll.
12
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,509
Hey, you. What the hell
do you think you're doing?
13
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,517
Nothing.
14
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,355
Passing out coupons
from another restaurant, aren't you?
15
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,192
No.
16
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:58,793
Well, yes.
17
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,638
Get the hell out, you little creep.
18
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,310
Well, that took a lot of nerve.
19
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,311
How would they like it
if I went over to Wong's
20
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,879
and passed out coupons
to eat here?
21
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,913
You're lucky if you can get the people
who eat here to eat here.
22
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,672
- Shut up, Bob.
- Huh, Wong's.
23
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,832
Listen to this,
"Free egg roll with every entr�e."
24
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,877
See, that's not a bad deal.
25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,439
Because that's the trick, you know.
26
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,353
They keep the prices low,
but the egg roll's where they get you.
27
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,595
[CHUCKLES]
28
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,672
As if you'd ever eat Chinese
anyplace but Ming's.
29
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,955
What's that supposed to mean?
30
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,633
It means you're a creature of habit.
31
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,155
If you ever varied
your precious daily routine,
32
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:39,790
the Earth would wobble
out of the solar system.
33
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,549
Yeah, why don't you just exaggerate it
about a billion times out of proportion.
34
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,157
You know,
she's not that far off, John.
35
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,352
Every morning you park your car,
order a coffee and then get the paper.
36
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,875
Then you complain about the parking,
insult the coffee
37
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,473
and bitch about the paper.
38
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,829
MARGARET:
Then he comes to work
39
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,679
and complains about all the morons
in the diner.
40
00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,154
ALL:
Hey.
41
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,036
Well, I'm with them on that one.
42
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,835
Something to be said for the comfort
of a daily routine.
43
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,991
Every day, Bob himself gets up
at the crack of noon
44
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,311
and brushes his hair
exactly 150 times.
45
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,074
With what,
a piece of buttered toast?
46
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,758
Hey, I was defending you.
47
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,148
I don't need defending, Bob.
48
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,072
I need hot water in my apartment.
49
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,032
And I am not a creature of habit.
50
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,475
You know,
I have merely streamlined my life
51
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,073
down to the things that work for me.
52
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,674
What you call routine,
I call refinement.
53
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,638
Say whatever you want, Becker, but
we know you're not going to Wong's.
54
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,432
Because you are incapable
of change.
55
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,192
Hey, what is this? You daring me?
56
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,588
Is this some kind of challenge?
57
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,870
- Margaret, he might try Wong's.
- No way.
58
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,029
No, you're forgetting
59
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,997
one very important aspect
of his personality:
60
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,718
He's cheap.
61
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,755
Ha-ha-ha, right. The free egg roll.
62
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,712
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Hey, you know what?
63
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:50,995
Screw all of you people.
64
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,991
I can change any time I want to.
65
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,957
I simply don't want to.
66
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,951
Yeah, and another thing.
I am not cheap.
67
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,759
- You tell them, Becker.
BECKER: Shut up, Bob.
68
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,355
Hey, look at this.
69
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,748
He left me an extra quarter.
70
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,399
Maybe he is changing.
71
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,558
Say, did, uh...? Did anyone find a?
72
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,836
Oh, yeah, thank you.
73
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,949
Well, Margaret, I guess you
and the morons down at the diner
74
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,634
were way off-base.
I had dinner at Wong's last night.
75
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,673
Oh, yeah, and if the IRS calls,
so did you.
76
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,319
We talked business.
77
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,516
Hmm, business must be pretty bad.
78
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,558
Dinner for two, $7.50.
79
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,077
Yeah, actually, if you'd turn the seven
into a 17, I'd appreciate that.
80
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,874
All in all,
Wong's wasn't really too bad.
81
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,029
You ate at Wong's?
82
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,156
What happened,
did Ming's burn down?
83
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,836
No, Ming's did not burn down.
84
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,237
Wong's was giving away
a free egg roll.
85
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,836
Clever. Because the egg roll
is where they get you.
86
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,351
Yeah, exactly. Thank you.
87
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,949
Mrs. Rigney's in 2.
88
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,715
Oh, I'm so bored.
89
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,470
That's strange, because there's plenty
to do around here.
90
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,710
Like confirming
patients' appointments,
91
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,351
restocking the exam rooms,
re-filing patient charts.
92
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,719
No.
93
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,996
Young and the Restless
is on in 15 minutes.
94
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,589
I'll just tough it out till then.
95
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,511
Well, your thyroid level, blood counts,
liver functions are all normal.
96
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,240
There's nothing here really
to explain your fatigue.
97
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,517
All I know is I'm just not feeling
like myself these days.
98
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,073
Well, your tests are all fine.
99
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,630
Is there anything going on in your life
that could be affecting your mood?
100
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,873
Well, maybe.
101
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,315
But it's sort of embarrassing.
102
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,155
Mrs. Rigney, I'm your doctor.
103
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,629
Anything you say
stays just between us.
104
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,196
My husband I haven't had sex
in months.
105
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,719
[MOANS]
106
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,114
The last time we did have sex,
107
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,077
we were just going
through the motions.
108
00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:00,192
- Same position, same...
- Yeah, yeah, I got... I got it.
109
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:05,277
I'm just worried that, well, I've become
another boring housewife.
110
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,348
Well, now, you know,
all couples go through these times.
111
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,876
I mean, after all, you know,
we all become creatures of habit
112
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,473
in one way or another.
113
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,432
So, what can I do?
114
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,119
Well, why don't you try
something new?
115
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,874
You know, change in any area
of your life can be positive.
116
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,469
For instance, now, last night,
I changed my routine.
117
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,837
I went to a new restaurant,
and I really enjoyed the experience.
118
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,873
Got a free egg roll.
119
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,958
Yeah, so don't be afraid
to experiment.
120
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,155
Shake things up a bit.
121
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,880
You know,
that's always been my philosophy.
122
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,238
Thank you so much.
I feel better just having talked about it.
123
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,469
Well, you're very welcome.
124
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:41,868
CARLA: Bye.
BECKER: Bye-bye.
125
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,959
What?
126
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,793
Experiment? Shake things up?
127
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,032
You ever thought about
naming your personalities?
128
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,390
You ever thought of giving me
more respect around here?
129
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,879
Oh, I've thought about it.
130
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,074
New patient in 1.
131
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,908
Oh, and Jake called.
132
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,236
He said he'll meet you here at 5
to go to the game.
133
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,795
What game?
Oh, shoot, the hockey game.
134
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,190
Don't tell me
you didn't order those tickets.
135
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,436
I reminded you twice last week.
136
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,631
Of course I ordered the tickets,
Margaret.
137
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,149
Give me your credit card. I'll do it.
138
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,952
Thank you, I...
139
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,031
I was going to, I just...
140
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,919
Where's my credit card?
Oh, damn it.
141
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,354
When was the last time I used it?
142
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,279
1981?
143
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,313
Oh, you know, I left it at Wong's.
Oh, damn it.
144
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,517
See, now this is what happens
when you screw with things that work.
145
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,839
Now, this would never have happened
at Ming's. I have a tab at Ming's.
146
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,592
Now I gotta go all the way down
to Wong's
147
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,593
at the busiest part of my day
and get the stupid card back.
148
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,835
Or you could send Linda.
149
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,197
Yeah, unless she happens
to be doing something important and...
150
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,149
Sorry, what was I thinking?
151
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,070
Oh, while you're out,
pick me up an egg-salad sandwich.
152
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,710
What am I, some sort of lackey
who gets stuck doing all the lousy jobs
153
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,757
nobody else wants to do?
154
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,555
Okay, I know the answer to that.
155
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,632
But you don't have to treat me
like an idiot.
156
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,074
Now what is that
you want me to do?
157
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:15,119
Credit card, Wong's, egg salad, go.
158
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,670
Egg salad.
159
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,834
Okay, uh, Mr. Hatch, I'm Dr. Becker.
160
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,592
Hey, doc.
Want me to take my clothes off?
161
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,716
Because that's no problem.
162
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,590
Uh, why don't we just talk first.
163
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,391
All right, it says that you're here
for stomach distress.
164
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,673
Any, uh, recent changes
in your diet?
165
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,348
No, but, uh, several months ago,
I was out of the country.
166
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,790
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I've seen that before. Mexico?
167
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,992
No, I was on this island.
My diet was pretty exotic.
168
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,670
I pretty much existed on stingray,
dog food, beetle larvae.
169
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,350
Ho, ho, ho, stop.
What the hell's wrong with you?
170
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,233
- The other people there ate rats.
- Rats?
171
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,231
Well, why in the world
would anyone do that?
172
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,192
It was for Survivor.
173
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,633
Survivor?
174
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,354
You know, the contest, the show.
It was on television.
175
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,198
Television? Oh, my God.
176
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,999
You know,
what is this world coming to?
177
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,277
You know, people are eating bugs
and rats on a stupid television show?
178
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,034
I swear to God, you know,
TV has become nothing more
179
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,272
than the Petri dish
where this country grows its idiots.
180
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,110
Don't people have better things to do
with their time
181
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,350
than to debase themselves
coast to coast?
182
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:33,709
Well, I won.
183
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,433
Oh, yeah, won. Yeah, please.
184
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,192
You know,
what could you possibly have won
185
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,828
that would make up
for your loss of self-respect?
186
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,871
A million dollars?
187
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,794
Now, how would I get involved
with something like that?
188
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,996
Is that something you need to?
189
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,316
- Hi, Reg. Lunch to go, please. Ahem.
- Anything in particular?
190
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,948
It doesn't matter. Just put
the brown stuff on the green stuff.
191
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,190
Then put the yellow stuff
on the side there.
192
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,271
Hey, you remember
to get the tickets for tonight?
193
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,475
It's funny you should ask.
194
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,870
I was gonna order the tickets,
but I went to Wong's
195
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,031
and they forgot to give me back
my credit card.
196
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,708
You know, serves me right
for changing my routine.
197
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,996
I knew something like this
was gonna happen.
198
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,074
Obviously, you didn't or you wouldn't
have left your credit card.
199
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,998
Did you or did you not
get the tickets?
200
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,675
Jake, for all intents and purposes,
yes, I almost ordered the tickets.
201
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,313
So how was the food at Wong's?
202
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,317
It's Chinese food.
What's the difference?
203
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,234
If there's no difference, Becker,
204
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,958
why not eat at Wong's
instead of Ming's?
205
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,680
If there's no difference, why not eat
at Ming's instead of Wong's?
206
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,997
- Because there's no difference.
- Which is exactly why I eat at Ming's.
207
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,673
Are we going to the hockey game
or not?
208
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:40,989
Yes, yes, we're going.
209
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,111
That is, assuming Old Man Wong
and my credit card
210
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,714
aren't halfway to China by now.
211
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:50,116
On your credit card?
He couldn't get halfway to Chinatown.
212
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,996
Margaret, I'm back. What's up?
213
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,912
My patience with Linda.
214
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,795
Do you know it took her over two hours
to go three blocks to Wong's,
215
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,633
pick up your credit card,
get me an egg-salad sandwich
216
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,233
and get her butt back here?
217
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,789
- Oh, good, you got my credit card.
- Oh!
218
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,758
I am so mad at her
I'm starting to feel sick.
219
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,717
So then did you order
those hockey tickets?
220
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,474
- Ugh, really sick.
- Margaret, suck it up.
221
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,756
Did you or did you not
order the tickets?
222
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,390
Thank you for your compassion.
223
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,913
Your credit card is in the drawer
224
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,355
and you can pick up the tickets
at the box office.
225
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,033
But now you owe me a favour.
226
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,838
Oh, Margaret, I'm really busy.
227
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,792
You are going to have a word
with Linda,
228
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,030
and I mean a harsh word.
229
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:38,914
Oh, I can do that.
230
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,514
As a matter of fact,
it'd be the highlight of my day.
231
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,870
Uh, Linda, where are you?
232
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,031
LINDA:
In your office, filing.
233
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,672
Oh.
234
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,673
Well, I am.
235
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,875
Yeah, look, Linda...
236
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,510
Dr. Becker has had it
with your cavalier attitude.
237
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,269
It is unprofessional, it's aggravating,
and it is going to stop
238
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,396
or there are going
to be serious consequences.
239
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,595
Yeah, Linda, this whole...
240
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,150
Consequences up to
and including dismissal.
241
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,590
Now, I'm sorry Dr. Becker
has to be so tough on you,
242
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,150
but you screwed up royal today,
and we are sick and tired of it.
243
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,992
Mostly sick.
244
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,714
Well, gee, Dr. Becker,
you could at least let me explain
245
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,552
before you jump all over me.
246
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,672
- Well, Linda, l...
- He's waiting.
247
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:27,270
Okay, I picked up Margaret's sandwich
like she told me to,
248
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,311
which by the way,
I never got a thank you for.
249
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,232
Then I went to Wong's
to get the credit card.
250
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,119
But while I was there, I noticed
that this guy was staring at me.
251
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,511
Which happens a lot, because
I guess I am reasonably attractive.
252
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,508
And you are wearing
a handkerchief for a shirt.
253
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:46,150
Anyways, this guy
was really scary and creepy.
254
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,629
And when I left there,
I realised that he was following me.
255
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,711
So I walked all over the city
trying to lose him.
256
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,519
And it's unseasonably hot out there,
in case you haven't noticed.
257
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,359
Then I got on the subway
where there was no air conditioning.
258
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,193
And, finally, I cut through
Bloomingdale's where I lost him.
259
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,188
I really know my way
around that place.
260
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,318
So, Dr. Becker, maybe next time
you'll think twice before you come in
261
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,436
and start barking at me like that.
262
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:13,158
You carried my egg-salad sandwich
around in this heat for over two hours?
263
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,072
No wonder I'm feeling sick.
264
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,719
Thanks a lot, Linda.
265
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,153
Finally. You're welcome, Margaret.
266
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,316
And I'm not kidding.
267
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,312
Mr. Angelo, use the ointment.
268
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,074
They're parasites. They're not pets.
269
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,316
Where is Margaret?
270
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,948
Okay, I'll tell you, but I don't want you
to go off on me again
271
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,235
like you did in your office.
272
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,556
- Linda.
- She went home.
273
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,193
What? Oh, come on,
she can't do that.
274
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,510
She knows I have to get out early
for the hockey game.
275
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,712
She said she was too sick to work,
the big baby.
276
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,438
So anyways, you're on your own.
277
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:57,868
No, no, no, you get back here.
278
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,837
I've been here too long already.
279
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,070
What if that scary guy
who was following me comes in?
280
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,630
Oh, he's not gonna show up here.
Trust me, Linda.
281
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,637
Oh, my God, there he is.
282
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,754
That's the big scary guy?
283
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,195
Oh, that's the coupon guy
from Wong's.
284
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,755
Oh, for God's sake, Linda,
don't be ridiculous.
285
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,753
He looks completely harmless.
Oh, jeez.
286
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,668
- Are you following Linda?
- No.
287
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,592
Who is that girl
that just ran down the hall?
288
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,314
- Linda.
- Oh, then yes.
289
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,595
You know, a little tip, kid.
290
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,591
If you walk in a room
and a woman runs out,
291
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,113
maybe she's not interested.
292
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,355
Linda.
293
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,511
What an unusual
and beautiful name.
294
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,715
Are you busy?
295
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,110
Hey, you know what?
You're standing way too close.
296
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,953
Ahem, Dr. Becker,
I've been waiting since 4:30.
297
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,310
Yeah, well, it's only 5.
You're beating the average.
298
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,436
Sign here. Write quickly.
299
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,874
Oh, jeez, you know what?
300
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,439
Rule one, personal space.
301
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,669
This is mine. You're in it.
302
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,154
Get out of it.
303
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,675
Hey, doc, am I gonna have
my next birthday here?
304
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,068
Hey, give me a break, will you?
305
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,629
Margaret's out sick.
I'm doing the best I can.
306
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,916
What can I do to impress Linda?
307
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,554
You know,
just change your approach.
308
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,075
You mean like what, get a Harley?
309
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,759
No, I don't... Yes, get a Harley.
310
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,309
And get one now, will you?
311
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,913
- Are you Dr. Becker?
- Yes, I am, just sign in right here.
312
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,274
I'm not a patient.
313
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,118
My wife is, Carla Rigney.
314
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,316
I understand you told her
to try something new.
315
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,268
- You know, I'm really busy right now...
- She tried my next door neighbour.
316
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,591
I found them in bed together.
317
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,951
Boy, I'm almost positive
I didn't tell her to do that.
318
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,839
Do you believe this guy? He told
my wife to go out and have an affair.
319
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,389
I did not, I did not.
Listen, I know you're upset, but l...
320
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,154
You think I'm upset? Wait till you see
my neighbour's husband.
321
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,918
Husband?
322
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,396
Your wife had an affair
with another woman?
323
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,715
Can you say that any louder?
324
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,757
There's one outside guy
who can't hear you.
325
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,075
- No, I heard him.
BECKER: Oh.
326
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,232
Is this gonna take much longer?
I gotta get home and start dinner.
327
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,670
Do you mind?
We're talking girl-on-girl action here.
328
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,114
Speaking of mismatched plumbing,
329
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,793
you got the wrong valve
on your heater.
330
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,518
You need a new one.
Give me 20 bucks.
331
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,557
Doesn't the building have money
for that thing?
332
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,392
I used that
to dress up the place a little.
333
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,232
So how do you like my new jacket?
334
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,392
Sure, our sex life wasn't perfect.
But a lesbian?
335
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,636
- What colour Harley?
- Blue.
336
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,314
Yeah, Mr. Garland,
go on back to Room 1, please.
337
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,959
No, 2. No, 1.
338
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,634
Oh, hell, how does Margaret
keep all this straight?
339
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,070
Listen, I've been waiting since 3:30.
340
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,315
You said 4:30.
341
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,677
- Maybe I ought to see another doctor.
- How much longer is this gonna take?
342
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,871
BOB: Hey, Becker, you want
your valve fixed or not?
343
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,996
Hey, hey, keep it down.
344
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,435
I can't hear the TV.
345
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,431
Oh, my God, you're still here.
346
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,710
You wanna ride on my Harley?
347
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,359
It's gonna be blue.
348
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,952
Wow. Is that a handkerchief?
349
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,553
Because Bob feels a sneeze
coming on.
350
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,837
Hey, you can't talk to her that way.
351
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,797
She's a woman of great beauty
and grace.
352
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,474
Not to mention the boobage, huh?
Ow, my nose.
353
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,238
Oh, no, you can't hit people.
354
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,118
- Not even Bob.
- Ow.
355
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,513
That was so sweet of you.
356
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,830
- What's your name?
- Pete.
357
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,560
Pete. What an unusual
and beautiful name.
358
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,995
I think he broke my nose.
My beautiful nose.
359
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,435
Oh, so I suppose
you're gonna see him ahead of us?
360
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,073
No, he can walk it off.
361
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,431
Hey, John, ready to go to the game?
362
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,398
- Come on, man.
- Hey, hey, hey, calm down, will you?
363
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,993
Actually, Jake, I can't go with you.
364
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,230
Margaret's not here
and I'm way behind.
365
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,073
- So you'll have to find somebody else.
- Oh, man.
366
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,753
Where am I gonna find anyone
so pitiful
367
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,876
they can just pick up and go
at the last minute?
368
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,832
Thank you for thinking of me, Jake.
369
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,275
Lucky I didn't have plans.
370
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,715
Hey, I took a shot.
371
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,718
- Next.
- Oh, that's you, Jake.
372
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,599
Hi. Uh, there should be two tickets
for John Becker.
373
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,554
Becker, Becker, Becker.
374
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,439
Ah, here they are. I'll just need to see
your credit card, Mr. Becker.
375
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,749
Oh, I'm not John Becker.
376
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:39,995
I see. Next.
377
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,276
No, he bought them,
he was supposed to come with us,
378
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,668
but he got stuck in the office.
379
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,398
His nurse went home.
He had patients...
380
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,754
Okay, I'm gonna stop you here,
381
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,956
because I don't remember
asking for your life story.
382
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,872
- Next.
- Hey, wait, wait, what do you think?
383
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,473
We picked a name
out of the phone book
384
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,073
and drove down here
on the off chance
385
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,913
that some guy named John Becker
would buy tickets and not show up?
386
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,479
How stupid do you think we are?
387
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,989
I really don't know
how stupid you are.
388
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,790
Perhaps we could discuss
your stupidity another time.
389
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,793
- Next.
- Are there any other tickets available?
390
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,029
Sorry, we're sold out.
391
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,350
- Next.
- Next, next. Is that all you can say?
392
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,195
- Security.
- All right, all right.
393
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,908
All right, all right.
394
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,479
Damn, we came all the way
down here,
395
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,073
and we don't even get to see
the game.
396
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,151
- Yeah.
- Hey, wanna buy some tickets?
397
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,112
- Actually, we do.
- Eighty bucks.
398
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,878
Eighty bucks for hockey tickets?
399
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,554
Hey, am I asking you why a blind guy
is going to a hockey game?
400
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,073
Do you want the tickets or not?
401
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,552
- Jake?
- Yeah, okay.
402
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,153
SCALPER:
Great.
403
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,795
REGGIE:
Hmm.
404
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,916
Here you go. Well, gotta run.
405
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,076
- Why?
- You'll see.
406
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,314
Are they good seats?
407
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,633
Yeah, they're great seats.
408
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,552
For Rugrats On Ice.
409
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,712
So by the time
I got through with that guy,
410
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,029
he didn't know what hit him.
411
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,350
Yeah, because nothing hit him.
412
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,394
REGGIE:
Let me get this straight.
413
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,913
We're talking about that wimpy guy
414
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,116
who was in here
giving out coupons, right?
415
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,515
Wimpy? He had a Harley.
416
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,308
Well, we could have used him
when Jake got us mugged.
417
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,436
We did not get mugged.
We got scammed.
418
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,636
It's not my fault
that John got stuck at the office
419
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,835
because he had no help.
420
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,112
- No help? What am I?
- You're no help.
421
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,635
Oh, yeah? Well, as I recall, Margaret,
you were the one
422
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,712
who had to go home early
just because of little "food poisoning."
423
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,108
Excuse me.
424
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,999
I got food poisoning because
you took my egg-salad sandwich
425
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,479
on a tour of the city.
426
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,029
Yeah, well, if you'd gotten
Dr. Becker's credit card yourself,
427
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,838
none of that would've happened.
428
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,270
I don't remember you coming in here
for a sandwich.
429
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,475
Interesting.
430
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,552
The minute you hear food poisoning,
you automatically assume it's you.
431
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,194
In all fairness, it usually is.
432
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,554
I make great sandwiches.
433
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,756
You know, the next time
I want something done right,
434
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,478
I'm gonna do it myself.
435
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,834
I'm gonna kick his ass.
436
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,871
Hey, hey, hey.
437
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,474
It wasn't a stalker. He wa...
438
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,750
Nothing comes from pointing the finger
at each other.
439
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,717
You're all to blame.
440
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,109
What?
441
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,630
Yeah, let's take a look
at this great big mess, shall we?
442
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,628
Now Reggie and Jake were mugged
because I was stuck at the office
443
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,031
after Margaret got sick from
the sandwich that Linda picked up
444
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,472
before she was stalked by the guy
from Wong's where I had dinner.
445
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,319
Now, why did I have dinner
at Wong's? What...?
446
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,833
Oh, that's right.
447
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,310
Because you all told me
that I should vary my routine.
448
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,198
As a matter of fact,
I think I was sitting...
449
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,999
Well, I was sitting
right here in my usual seat
450
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,559
when Margaret suggested
451
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,951
that the Earth would wobble
out of the solar system
452
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,109
if I were ever to change.
453
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,073
Now, I don't think
that I am the centre of the universe,
454
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,391
but, obviously, I'm the centre of yours
because, well, look what happened.
455
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,790
Look what happened.
Now stick with me here, stick with me.
456
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,791
I think we learned
three very valuable lessons.
457
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,234
One, I was right.
458
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,154
Now, let's just, uh, stop and savour
that moment for a minute, all right?
459
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,476
Okay, that's enough.
All right, two,
460
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,030
no good ever comes from change.
Ever.
461
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,156
Three...
462
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,639
Three, um...
463
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,558
Egg salad doesn't keep in the sun?
464
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,755
Close enough.
465
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,957
All right, what say we get our lives
back to normal, shall we?
466
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,156
I'll start. I'm off to Wong's.
467
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,475
ALL:
Ming's.
468
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,477
Just checking.
469
00:20:23,527 --> 00:20:28,077
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