Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:04,535
( upbeat blues theme playing )
2
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,958
What exactly are you doing,
Jake?
3
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,427
Excuse me.
4
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,996
Every once in a while
I like to blend in.
5
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,464
You're a blind man reading
6
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,632
an upside-down
Yiddish newspaper.
7
00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:38,270
Oh, yeah,
you're blending right in.
8
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,272
Quit hocking me.
9
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:43,141
So, Reg, you know what I heard
this morning on the radio?
10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,776
Some guy out in Queens
buys a painting for 5 bucks
11
00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:47,145
at a garage sale.
12
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,413
Turns out it's a masterpiece,
13
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,747
and it's worth
a million dollars.
14
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,749
I mean, why couldn't
that happen to us?
15
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,985
Or better yet, to me.
16
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,855
Jake, what are you saying?
You wanna leave all of this?
17
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,091
I'm saying I'd do anything
for a million bucks.
18
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,927
Anything?
Mm-hm.
19
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,696
Would you...eat a bug?
20
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,999
I think I just did.
21
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,166
Give me that.
22
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:13,971
Oh, it's just a piece of...
parsley.
23
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,474
Well, it's official.
24
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,044
They finally turned New York
into a police state.
25
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,479
I'm driving to work and,
like I do every morning,
26
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,214
when I get to the corner
of White Plains Road
27
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,317
and Lester Avenue,
I turn right.
28
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,551
And I know, I know,
29
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,452
it's a one-way street,
30
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,719
but I only go 25 yards,
31
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,454
then I take a shortcut
down this alley.
32
00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:33,057
Today, some idiot of a cop
is lying in wait for me,
33
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,126
and he tickets me
for an illegal turn,
34
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,994
broken taillight,
no seat belt,
35
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:39,631
and, oh, yeah,
no rear-view mirror.
36
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,365
I'm going the wrong way
down a one-way street.
37
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,334
There's nothing behind me.
38
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:47,239
Yeah, and then to add
insult to injury, he--
39
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,207
He busts me
for an expired license.
40
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:51,042
Says guys my age
should know better.
41
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,478
Can you believe that?
42
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,048
I'd eat dirt
for a million dollars.
43
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,486
Even I would eat dirt
for a million dollars.
44
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,289
Yeah, but how about the dirt
from an old shepherd's sandal
45
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,391
on a hot and sweaty day?
46
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,861
Excuse me, but I'm trying
to alert you to an injustice.
47
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,097
I was abused by the cops,
and now I have to go to the DMV.
48
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:15,399
Doesn't this mean anything
to you people?
49
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:17,869
How sweaty a day
are we talking about?
50
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:18,903
Oh, yeah, fine.
51
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,571
Fine, fine, but when
the goon squad comes
52
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,072
and takes your licenses away,
53
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:23,675
don't come crying to me.
54
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,143
Uh, John, about me losing
my driver's license--
55
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,379
Oh, you know
what I'm talking about.
56
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,148
( both laughing )
57
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:35,119
( upbeat blues theme playing )
58
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:42,760
You're late.
59
00:02:43,962 --> 00:02:45,630
Excuse me?
60
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,800
I always wanted
to say that to him.
61
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,435
First of all, I'm not late.
62
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,704
Secondly, I'm late 'cause
I had to drop my car off
63
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,607
at the mechanic 'cause
some jackbooted thug of a cop
64
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,041
decided it wasn't roadworthy.
65
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,510
I mean, you show me
where it's written
66
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,111
where the-- The back window
has to be made
67
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,046
entirely out of glass.
68
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,782
You know, you--
You can see
69
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,618
perfectly well
through Saran Wrap.
70
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,921
And it makes a pretty sexy
party dress.
71
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,691
I'm just saying.
72
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:16,360
Well, I sure feel safer knowing
I can cross Lester Avenue
73
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,631
without worrying about you
barreling down it the wrong way.
74
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,466
Oh, come on,
it's only for 25 yards.
75
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,369
BOTH ( imitating ):
"Or else I have to go around the block."
76
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,338
Well, I do.
77
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,206
Oh, and, uh, I gotta
get out of here by 4:00.
78
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,409
I have to go to the DMV
to renew my license.
79
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,077
You know,
what a pain in the ass.
80
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,646
I have forgotten more
about driving
81
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,482
than most people will ever know.
Well, be sure to tell 'em that.
82
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,918
They will slide you
right through.
83
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,622
I have to take the written test,
the driving test, the eye test.
84
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:47,725
I renewed my license, and they
didn't make me do all that.
85
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,727
Oh, but I'm young.
86
00:03:51,396 --> 00:03:52,564
What's that supposed
to mean?
87
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,299
It means you're old.
88
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:57,102
Tony Petrilli is waiting
in Room 1.
89
00:03:57,104 --> 00:04:00,905
He's got some kind
of back "dealie."
90
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,540
"Dealie"?
91
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,776
Linda checked him in.
92
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,444
Well, what's wrong with him?
93
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,680
I don't know. He's got some kind
of whatchamacallit.
94
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,649
You're the doctor.
Figure it out.
95
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,784
Super helpful, Margaret.
96
00:04:15,287 --> 00:04:19,457
So, Tony, I understand you have
some kind of...back thingy.
97
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,959
What'd you do to it?
98
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,427
Well, I've been telling everyone
I did it playing racquetball,
99
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,296
but the truth is, I sneezed.
100
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,565
Huh.
It's so embarrassing.
101
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,100
I guess you gotta expect
that sort of thing
102
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,769
when you get to be our age.
103
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,171
What're you talking about,
"our age"?
104
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,308
You gotta be at least...
105
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,842
Okay, let's take a look
at your back.
106
00:04:38,844 --> 00:04:41,011
Let me know when it hurts.
Oh.
107
00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:42,947
Go figure. I've been riding
a motorcycle for years,
108
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,282
and now I hurt myself sneezing.
109
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,550
I didn't know you had
a motorcycle.
110
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,185
Oh, yeah, it's the best.
111
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,420
It makes me feel
like a kid again.
112
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:53,491
Old guys like us, we need
something like that, right?
113
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:56,427
Yeah, speak for yourself.
Hop down here, will you?
114
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,663
I gotta take an x-ray,
see what's going on.
115
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,298
God, I love that motorcycle.
116
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,766
But like everything I enjoy,
117
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,168
my wife's making me
get rid of it.
118
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,602
She says it's too dangerous.
119
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,138
Between her and my grandkids,
they don't shut up about it.
120
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,107
Grandkids?
121
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,375
Wh--? When's your birthday?
122
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,176
January.
123
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,378
Oh, well, there you go.
124
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,279
All right.
125
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,213
( upbeat blues theme playing )
126
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:34,966
You're next, sir.
127
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,668
"Sir"?
Who are you calling "sir"?
128
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,971
You're either a "sir"
or a "ma'am."
129
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,540
I took a shot.
130
00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:46,544
How--? How--?
How about "buddy" or "pal"?
131
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,747
Yeah, let's take it slow.
We only just met.
132
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,616
Well, I see you practically
aced the written test.
133
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:54,018
Only nine wrong.
134
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,553
Those are some
damn hard questions.
135
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:56,888
I mean, "Who has
the right of way
136
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,256
at a four-way stop sign?"
137
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:01,593
I live in the Bronx.
It's the guy with the gun.
138
00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:05,463
I'll give you that one.
139
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,031
Now read the fifth line
on the eye chart.
140
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,366
Put one hand
over your left eye
141
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,768
and, do me a favor,
the other hand over your mouth.
142
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:17,975
Uh, E-R-M-A-B.
143
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:20,944
Wanna go again?
144
00:06:23,114 --> 00:06:25,583
Uh-huh.
145
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:31,422
Well, let's see--
Uh, U-R-C-N-O.
146
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:34,725
Is that your final answer?
147
00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,630
Yeah, that's my final answer.
148
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,932
Sorry. You wanna try
it with your glasses?
149
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,767
Oh, I-- I don't-- I don't
wear these when I drive.
150
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,036
You do now.
Put them on and read to me.
151
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:49,407
That's, uh...
152
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,774
H-O--
153
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:52,409
Oh, close enough.
Step to the red line.
154
00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,281
( shutter clicks )
155
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,487
That's great. What, did you
just take my picture?
156
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,222
No, it was the paparazzi.
157
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,090
They must have found out
you were here.
158
00:07:10,228 --> 00:07:12,263
Here's your temporary license.
159
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,165
Will I be getting
a permanent one?
160
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,633
No, they call
it a temporary license
161
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,536
because Irving Temporary
invented it.
162
00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:24,776
Boy, you don't look
your age at all.
163
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,411
Well, thank you very much.
I try to take care of myself.
164
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:30,181
I guess you could take that
more than one way. Next.
165
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:33,517
( upbeat blues theme playing )
166
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,958
Hey, come on, Reg, what might
seem exotic in this culture,
167
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,593
well, that could be normal
in another one.
168
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,861
Quit stalling.
169
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,530
Would you or wouldn't you
eat monkey brains
170
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,564
for a million dollars?
171
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,667
Idiots.
172
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:53,070
Are--? Are we talking
free-range monkeys?
173
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:55,005
( upbeat blues theme playing )
174
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:04,182
I'm so happy
to be treated by you
175
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,684
instead of those HMO doctors.
176
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,152
Well, thank you.
177
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,254
You have so much more
experience.
178
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,324
Thank you.
You know...older.
179
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,259
Thank you.
180
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,231
Oh.
LINDA: Oh, that's so cute.
181
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:24,836
That's the sound my grandpa
makes when he sits down.
182
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,772
I did not make a sound.
183
00:08:29,174 --> 00:08:30,708
Oh.
184
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,409
There it is again.
185
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:35,546
I forget which look that is.
186
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,148
"Shut up, Linda"
or "Go away, Linda."
187
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:43,421
Oh, that's not nice at all.
188
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:46,224
Your mechanic called.
189
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,759
Uh, he's having trouble
finding parts for your car.
190
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,862
Why don't you just
turn that thing into a planter?
191
00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:57,802
Oh, put that look away.
It doesn't work on me.
192
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,036
Heh. Here's your mail.
193
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:03,674
What is this?
An AARP card?
194
00:09:05,277 --> 00:09:07,311
Is this a conspiracy?
195
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,679
I'm not a retired person.
196
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,781
Why are they sending me
this now?
197
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,817
Oh, actually, you've been
getting them for months.
198
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,418
I usually just throw them away,
199
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:17,955
but today it just seemed
too delicious to let go.
200
00:09:19,124 --> 00:09:22,326
Yeah, well, throw it away.
You're sure?
201
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:26,431
You could get 50 cents off
on orange-flavored Metamucil.
202
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,267
Fine.
I'll throw it away.
203
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,734
Ouch. Shoot.
204
00:09:31,536 --> 00:09:32,971
Don't say a word.
205
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:36,441
( upbeat blues theme playing )
206
00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:39,777
Debbie.
207
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,512
Hi, Dr. Becker.
How are you doing?
208
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,880
Great.
209
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,016
Well, except that I have
to get a flu shot.
210
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,684
Oh, come on.
I hate shots.
211
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:47,385
Ah, it's no big deal.
212
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,886
It doesn't hurt.
213
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:51,689
Hey, Dr. Becker, can I ask you
a personal question?
214
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:52,957
Sure, I guess.
215
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,792
Well, you're divorced, right?
216
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,260
Yeah, twice.
217
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,129
I wanted to make sure
I got it right.
218
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,964
Hee-hee. You are so funny.
219
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,165
( chuckles )
220
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,034
Well, you know,
there's this concert coming up,
221
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,302
and I have a couple of tickets.
222
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,604
Oh, gee.
223
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,007
Well, I think that you should
take my mother.
224
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,109
I mean, you're about
the same age, and she's-- Ouch!
225
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,211
( upbeat blues theme playing )
226
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:17,348
Her mother's age, my ass.
227
00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:20,751
You know something?
228
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:28,426
Oh, what the hell, just do it.
229
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,465
Hey, Tony, look,
if you're still serious
230
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,100
about getting rid
of that motorcycle,
231
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,635
I've been giving
it some thought,
232
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,904
and, you know,
damn it, I'll take it.
233
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,674
Uh, John Becker.
234
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,910
Your-- Your doctor.
235
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,646
Yeah, yeah, name your price.
236
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,748
N-name another price.
237
00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:56,320
( upbeat blues theme playing )
238
00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:11,001
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
239
00:11:14,305 --> 00:11:15,739
Oh.
240
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:20,678
Yeah, yeah.
241
00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:25,149
( knock on door )
242
00:11:26,317 --> 00:11:27,685
What's that?
243
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,988
A helmet.
244
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:35,660
Please tell me it's because
you've been falling down a lot.
245
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:36,760
No.
246
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,295
As a matter of fact,
247
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:41,899
it's because I just bought
Tony Petrilli's motorcycle.
248
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:42,834
What?
249
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,268
Are you crazy?
250
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,970
You're actually gonna
ride around the city on a bike?
251
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,272
It's not a bike.
252
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:51,275
A bike has baseball cards
stuck in its spokes.
253
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,711
What I have is a motorcycle.
254
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:57,115
What you have is a desperate
need to recapture your youth.
255
00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,984
Oh, come on, John,
it's such a childish clich?.
256
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,821
Is not.
257
00:12:05,623 --> 00:12:08,926
Look, forget for the moment
that it's pathetic.
258
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,628
Forget for the moment
that you're too old for it.
259
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,831
The fact is, you're a menace
to society on four wheels.
260
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,701
I can't imagine you on two.
261
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,669
Other than hump-busting,
262
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,038
did you come in here
for a reason?
263
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,606
Yes, I came in here to tell you
264
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,876
that the drug rep
from Kennard Pharmaceuticals
265
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,177
is here to see you.
266
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,177
Oh, and I told you,
267
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:29,279
I don't wanna talk
to those drug company idiots.
268
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,582
Excuse me. Dr. Becker?
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, miss,
269
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,050
you had to come
all the way down here.
270
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,452
I-I don't have time
to talk to you.
271
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,888
Oh, hey,
you ride a bike?
272
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,689
Well, yeah,
273
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,057
as a matter of fact, I do.
274
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,593
Oh, it's-- It's not a bike.
Thank you.
275
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,995
No, but you just said,
it's not--
276
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,497
Thank you.
277
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,399
( upbeat blues theme playing )
278
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:54,004
( laughing )
279
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:56,340
So--? So why don't I give you
that ride sometime?
280
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,975
Well, I'm, uh,
free this weekend.
281
00:12:58,977 --> 00:13:01,111
Oh, great. Well,
I'll give you a call then.
282
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,047
Okay. Great.
283
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,448
Bye.
Bye-bye.
284
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,949
( chuckles )
285
00:13:07,352 --> 00:13:10,254
Oh, aren't you dating
Dr. Carson anymore?
286
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,089
What are you talking about?
287
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,424
She's talking
about you and Liz.
288
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,392
Remember Liz? Pretty, red hair,
289
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:18,496
for some inexplicable reason
puts up with you?
290
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,563
Wha--? Oh, her?
291
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:20,831
No, she's not a date.
292
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:22,232
Oh, come on, you know,
293
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,936
a man and a woman can't go
for a ride in the country
294
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,070
and then have a quiet dinner
without it...
295
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,375
Oh, boy.
296
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,843
Uh, yeah, Margaret,
297
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,178
get me out of it.
298
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,650
But you've gotta admit,
the, uh-- The motorcycle works.
299
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,518
( upbeat blues theme playing )
300
00:13:46,858 --> 00:13:51,629
How about roller-skating through
Central Park naked at midnight?
301
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,163
No.
302
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,765
How about eating a light bulb?
303
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,100
Oh, you know,
I can't believe it.
304
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,935
Are you two idiots
still thinking of things
305
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,171
you'd do for a million bucks?
306
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,572
No, now we're trying
to think of things
307
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,475
stupider than you
buying that motorcycle.
308
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,776
JAKE:
So far we can't.
309
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,478
Oh, I get it.
310
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,147
Yeah, Margaret called
to tell you, huh?
311
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,015
No, Margaret came over here
to tell us.
312
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,752
She wanted to see
the looks on our faces.
313
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:15,920
JAKE:
You know, I--
314
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:16,987
I laughed so hard
315
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:19,222
that for a second
I thought I could see.
316
00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:21,024
( both laughing )
317
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:25,596
So are you gonna go
the whole route, Becker?
318
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:30,201
Leather pants, white scarf,
little Village People hat?
319
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,802
( laughs )
320
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,403
Yeah, is it just insults today,
321
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,606
or could I get some coffee
around here?
322
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,442
What? Have we been
too rough on you, Becker?
323
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,245
Oh, that's right,
I keep forgetting.
324
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,046
You're the one
who makes fun of people,
325
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,216
and we're the ones
who get made fun of.
326
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,619
Okay, so we're on the same page.
327
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,989
Come on, Becker, a guy your age
riding a motorcycle?
328
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,958
That's just the kind of clich?
you'd jump all over.
329
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,360
If it were some other guy,
330
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,595
you'd say he was just some
pathetic old fart
331
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,598
tooling around the city
in some sad, desperate attempt
332
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,301
to try to turn back the clock.
333
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,202
That's what you'd say.
334
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,337
But not me.
I'm too nice.
335
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:10,508
Yeah, right.
336
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,543
You know, you're gonna
be whistling a different tune
337
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,910
when I pull up on it outside.
338
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:16,480
It'll be, "Ooh, ooh, please,
let me have a ride."
339
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,316
If it's all the same to you,
I like my arms and legs,
340
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:22,652
oh, I don't know, attached.
Yeah.
341
00:15:22,654 --> 00:15:24,921
So how'd you learn how
to ride this thing anyway?
342
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,223
Did you have one
in college?
343
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,692
Huh?
What are you talking about?
344
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,062
You do know how to ride it,
don't you?
345
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,229
Oh, yeah, sure, of course I do.
346
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,364
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
347
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,065
I've ridden one all my life.
348
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,469
Nothing to it. Nothing to it.
349
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:43,374
( upbeat blues theme playing )
350
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,677
Oh, yeah, that's a clutch.
Clutch.
351
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,845
Clutch.
352
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,747
All right, there it is.
What's next?
353
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,717
Uh, gears, yeah.
( horn honks )
354
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,819
Oh, jeez.
355
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,921
A horn.
That's-- That's cool.
356
00:15:57,923 --> 00:15:59,523
( knock on door )
357
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:00,624
What?
358
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,559
MAN:
It's Alexi, the super.
359
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,662
Do you have a motorcycle
in there?
360
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,263
No.
361
00:16:07,565 --> 00:16:10,634
Hey, what--? What--?
What the hell are you doing?
362
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,035
What is that?
363
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,037
Oh, motorcycle.
364
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,807
Yeah, yeah, how'd you know?
365
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,443
Alexi knows everything
that goes on here.
366
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,712
When it comes to this building,
I am watchful and tough.
367
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,748
Like a bull dyke.
368
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,752
You can't keep that here.
369
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:28,753
Is dangerous.
370
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,621
Dangerous?
Oh, come--
371
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,991
Hey, hey, you can't come
in here and just help yourself.
372
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,127
Thank you.
373
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,929
Oh, come on, why--? Why don't
you go harass some other tenant?
374
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,697
Like Anita in 8-K?
375
00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:42,399
She's got so many johns
going in and out,
376
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,201
she should put
a turnstile in.
377
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:45,902
Don't you have a problem
with that?
378
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,773
Yes, she charges
too freaking much.
379
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,008
Come on, you know, I can't
put that on the street.
380
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,276
It'll get ripped off.
381
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,678
Give me a couple of weeks
to find a garage.
382
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,647
Okay.
Who is this for anyway?
383
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,083
Your grandson?
384
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,417
No, it happens to be mine.
385
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,887
( laughs )
386
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,822
You know something?
Just get out of here.
387
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,724
What is this,
midlife crisis?
388
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,092
Get out.
Go and see Anita.
389
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,927
She will make you feel
young again.
390
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,261
Out!
391
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,780
I think I look pretty cool.
392
00:17:30,782 --> 00:17:32,549
( imitating engine )
393
00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:41,959
Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely cool.
394
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,894
( imitating engine )
395
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,602
( upbeat blues theme swells )
396
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,370
Ow!
397
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,610
( upbeat blues theme playing )
398
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,357
Mm-hm.
399
00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:16,193
Morning.
400
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,262
You wanna tell me
what happened?
401
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,397
Not particularly.
402
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:24,201
You hurt yourself on that
stupid motorcycle, didn't you?
403
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:27,705
Oh, please, Margaret,
this happened in my apartment.
404
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,641
If you can figure out how
I injured myself on a motorcycle
405
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:34,244
in my apartment, be my guest.
How about this?
406
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,680
You were sitting on it playing
little vroom-vroom games,
407
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,417
and then it fell over on you
and you hurt your leg.
408
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:42,953
Your friend
at the Emergency Room
409
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,788
called and told you,
didn't she?
410
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,822
No, she came over.
411
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,492
She wanted to see
the look on my face.
412
00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:55,532
John, please, I'm begging you,
get rid of it.
413
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,701
If you ever actually
get it out of your apartment,
414
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,037
you're gonna kill yourself.
415
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,572
All right, fine.
All right, I'll get rid of it.
416
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:05,309
But quit nagging me,
will you, Margaret?
417
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:10,147
John, you can't stop yourself
from getting older.
418
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,984
Yeah, maybe,
but I don't have to like it.
419
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,019
You know, you--
You go through your entire life
420
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,454
seeing yourself a certain way,
421
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,022
and then all of a sudden,
422
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:20,657
the rest of the world
has a meeting
423
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,359
and decides you've changed.
424
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,061
Next thing you know, you--
425
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,762
You can't read the eye chart,
426
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:27,197
they're calling you "sir,"
427
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,033
they're setting you up
with their mothers,
428
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,468
and you're making little noises
when you sit down.
429
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,802
Do you have to go
430
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:35,505
kicking and screaming
through your whole life?
431
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,741
Can't you do anything
gracefully?
432
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,076
All right, fine,
fine, Margaret.
433
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,510
I will age gracefully.
434
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,113
I'll-- I'll buy one of those
little motorized chairs
435
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,448
with the little grocery basket
in the front
436
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:48,819
and the little dingle bell
on the handlebars.
437
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,288
The way you drive, you might
wanna hold on to that helmet.
438
00:19:55,326 --> 00:19:56,726
Hey, Dr. Becker?
439
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:57,895
Oh, I'm sorry, Linda.
440
00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,097
Of course, you haven't had
your turn, have you?
441
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:03,500
Come on in and tell me
how stupid I am.
442
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:06,169
I don't think
you're stupid at all.
443
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,305
Actually, I think
it's pretty cool
444
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,874
that you got a motorcycle.
445
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,478
You do?
Sure.
446
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,382
In fact, I understand
why you got it.
447
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,618
When you get to a certain age,
448
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,221
you miss having new things
to be excited about,
449
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,724
a reason to get out of bed
in the morning.
450
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,693
I mean, gee, Dr. Becker,
451
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,929
everybody needs that.
452
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:35,065
You know, something to make
you feel alive.
453
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,934
'Cause when you
don't have that,
454
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,769
that's when you really get old.
455
00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:45,074
Thanks, Linda.
456
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:47,611
I, uh...
457
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,146
Thank you.
It's okay.
458
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,582
I hope you feel better.
Mm.
459
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:56,286
Linda?
460
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,254
I heard what you said.
It was very touching.
461
00:20:58,256 --> 00:20:59,823
Very sweet.
462
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:00,958
Thanks.
463
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,559
That's what the doctor
said to my grandpa
464
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,994
when he got his new leg.
465
00:21:05,663 --> 00:21:07,531
BECKER:
I heard that!
466
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,199
I heard that!
467
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:14,138
( upbeat blues theme playing )
468
00:21:14,188 --> 00:21:18,738
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33800
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.