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1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,436
( upbeat blues theme playing )
2
00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:24,022
Linda, any messages?
3
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,590
Yup.
4
00:00:29,661 --> 00:00:32,830
Oh, what are they?
5
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,100
It's just the usual
patient stuff.
6
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,868
Uh, blah, blah,
blah, neck.
7
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:39,770
Blah, blah, blah, stomach.
Wh--
8
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:42,407
Blah, blah, blah, eww.
9
00:00:42,975 --> 00:00:44,242
Oh, this one's okay.
10
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,877
It's from a friend
of a friend of yours
11
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,080
who's in town
and wants to get together.
12
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,848
Oh, no, friends of friends
only want money or favors,
13
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,318
and I don't even do those
for people I like.
14
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,753
You like someone?
15
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,254
Yeah, just--
16
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,723
If he calls here again,
lose him.
17
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,325
It wasn't a him,
it was a her.
18
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,160
I'm sure she won't
call here again. Good.
19
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:05,363
Because I gave her your number
at home and at the diner.
20
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:06,531
Oh, that--
That's great.
21
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,033
I-I suppose you gave her
my pager number too, right?
22
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:12,236
Of course, I'm not incompetent.
23
00:01:14,306 --> 00:01:15,473
Margaret.
24
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:16,675
Maria.
25
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,510
It is so good
to see you.
26
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,677
Oh, you too.
27
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:21,513
I didn't know
you were coming in.
28
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,715
Well, my allergies just flared
up, can you squeeze me in?
29
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,184
No problem,
just go on back to Room 1.
30
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,019
I'll tell
the doctor you're here.
31
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,121
Oh, Margaret, listen,
it's been ages.
32
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:31,456
Why don't we
have lunch tomorrow?
33
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,624
Great, I'd love to.
34
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:39,931
I can't stand that woman.
35
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,234
Why? She seems so nice.
36
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,570
Did you ever
do someone a favor,
37
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,506
and then they act
like it never happened?
38
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,840
Oh, yeah, I hate that.
39
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:52,043
One time this French guy
I knew wanted to be a citizen,
40
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,345
so I married him.
41
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:56,081
I let him live in my place
and everything.
42
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,616
Then right after he got his
green card, he just took off.
43
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,919
No merci,
no beaucoup, no nothing.
44
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,622
Just an apartment full of B.O.
45
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,592
Well, this is worse.
46
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,959
Three years ago,
47
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:12,063
I loaned her
$20 to buy a pair of shoes,
48
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,964
and she never paid me back.
49
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,768
You're upset about 20 bucks
from three years ago?
50
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,936
That's not even
seven bucks a year.
51
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,738
Which is only like...
52
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,473
Thirteen cents a week.
53
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,476
Which is only 1.8 cents a day.
54
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,811
That's hardly anything.
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,780
You did that in your head?
56
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,316
You can't even figure out
daylight-savings time.
57
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,485
Think about it, Margaret.
58
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,355
Where does that hour go?
59
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,190
( blues theme playing )
60
00:02:44,129 --> 00:02:46,063
( blues theme playing )
61
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,534
( laughing )
62
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,871
What's so funny?
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.
63
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,007
Nothin'.
Yeah, nothin'.
64
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,976
Oh, come on,
what is it?
65
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:58,943
I'm not gonna tell you.
66
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:00,878
Why not?
Because it's a secret.
67
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,514
You can't keep a secret.
68
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,782
Now, why would you say that?
69
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,784
Name one secret
that I didn't keep.
70
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,120
Oh, easy, you told me
John likes the Backstreet Boys.
71
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:12,423
Jake, I told you that
in confidence.
72
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,526
Say, I-I merely pointed out a
couple of their songs are, uh,
73
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,362
c-catchy.
74
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,729
So it's true?
75
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:21,031
Oh, you're dead to me.
76
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,100
Besides, why are you
singling me out?
77
00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:24,603
Jake blabbed too.
78
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,637
Forget it, forget it,
you know, you can't be expected
79
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,739
to keep a secret
being a woman.
80
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,276
Being a woman?
81
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,778
Oh, please, put the flag away.
82
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,647
You know, it's-- It's been that
way since the beginning of time.
83
00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:37,782
Read the Bible.
84
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,250
You know,
Garden of Eden.
85
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,786
Eve shot her big mouth
off about the apple.
86
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,621
Biggest secret of all time,
87
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:46,457
she blows it on page two.
88
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,661
As usual,
you've got the story wrong.
89
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,429
You wanna know Eve's problem?
90
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:55,634
She hooked up with a loser
with no clothes and no job.
91
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,334
She got you there,
John.
92
00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:02,173
Excuse me.
93
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,041
John Becker?
Yeah.
94
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:05,276
I'm Nicky Conroy.
95
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,578
We have a mutual friend.
96
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,914
Oh, you're the, uh,
friend of a friend, right.
97
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,450
Yeah, I have regards
from Chuck Turner.
98
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,552
Chuck Turner from high school?
99
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,854
You're a friend
of Chuck Turner's?
100
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,722
Hey, Jake,
you know who this is?
101
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,456
A friend of Chuck Turner's?
102
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:21,660
This is amazing.
You know,
103
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:25,130
I-I haven't heard from Chuck
for about 20 years or so.
104
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,731
What's--? Sit down here.
Sure.
105
00:04:28,266 --> 00:04:30,001
How do you know Chuck?
106
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,836
We work for the same
publishing company in L.A.
107
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,338
This is amazing.
108
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,806
I mean, we-- We go way back.
109
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,807
You know, we had our first
cigarette together.
110
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:39,344
Our first six-pack,
our first sex.
111
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,279
Well, not--
Not, uh--
112
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,347
Not together.
We were in separate cars.
113
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:48,386
So, how's he doin'?
114
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,588
Gee, you know,
there's so much to tell.
115
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,091
Um, if you're free for lunch,
I'll fill you in on everything.
116
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,692
Oh, yeah, no,
I can't, I'm busy.
117
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,761
Um, how about dinner?
I don't have any plans.
118
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,329
Wait, you do too,
you're takin' me to Queens
119
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,597
to see my grandmother.
120
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,400
Oh, come on, Jake,
your grandma's 97 years old.
121
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,436
I mean, she--
She'll keep for another week.
122
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:09,240
What-- What do you say, dinner?
Great.
123
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,009
Well, I should be going.
124
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,543
All right, all right.
125
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,646
Yeah, uh, actually,
I'm on my way too.
126
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,216
I gotta stick a camera
up some guy's butt.
127
00:05:20,152 --> 00:05:22,787
Uh, Chuck mentioned
I was a doctor, right?
128
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:25,857
Ha, no,
but I'm glad you just did.
129
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,625
( blues theme playing )
130
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,901
Hey, how was your lunch
with the shoe lady?
131
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,570
Did you get
your 20 bucks back?
132
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,238
I did not.
133
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,039
And believe me,
I dropped enough hints.
134
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:45,477
I talked about shoes so much
the people at the next table
135
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,311
thought I had a fetish.
136
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:50,247
I could wait till
Jesus comes back,
137
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:52,883
and she still wouldn't
give me my 20 bucks.
138
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,118
Don't ask.
139
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,887
Don't care.
140
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:59,323
Linda, I'm gonna
take a late lunch.
141
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,626
So call me at Rinaldi's
if there's an emergency.
142
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,795
And I don't mean gum
in your hair like last time.
143
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,731
Oh, by the way,
that lady who called?
144
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,366
Yeah?
I fixed everything.
145
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,936
I called her hotel and I left
a message that you were dead.
146
00:06:13,571 --> 00:06:15,072
Hi, John.
147
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,275
That's her, isn't it?
148
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,111
Yeah, how'd you know?
149
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,914
I'm having that kind of life.
150
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,615
( blues theme playing )
151
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,955
So, uh, what's with you
and this Nicky?
152
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,958
It's been three days now,
dinner, lunches, drinks.
153
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,493
It's been great.
154
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,962
She's goin' back
to L.A. tomorrow.
155
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,064
So have you two,
uh...?
156
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,300
If you're asking whether
or not we slept together,
157
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,034
the answer's no.
158
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:46,003
So far, we've just
been hangin' out.
159
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,372
You know,
the best part, you know--
160
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,074
You know how some people
complain about me?
161
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,843
Yeah, if by some people
you mean everyone?
162
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,111
Yeah.
163
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,947
Well, you know,
she doesn't.
164
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,215
She just leaves me alone.
165
00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:00,151
N-No bitching,
no pressure, nothing.
166
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,653
Huh.
Sh, sh, sh.
167
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:06,958
Oh, grow up, I could care less
168
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,126
about your stupid
little secrets.
169
00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:15,433
Why was
that a secret?
170
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,001
It wasn't, I'm just screwin'
with her.
171
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,136
( both laugh )
172
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,840
Anybody in here own that puke
green car parked out front?
173
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,709
It is not puke green,
it's avocado.
174
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:28,179
It was a very big color
in the 70's.
175
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,715
Yeah, well, whatever it is,
it's being towed, pal.
176
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,184
Why didn't you
say something, you idiot?
177
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,720
I'll be right back, someone's
trying to steal my car, hey!
178
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:39,991
Well, unless there's change
in the ashtray, I don't get it.
179
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,326
Can I get you something?
180
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,460
No, thanks,
I'm just meeting John.
181
00:07:43,462 --> 00:07:45,196
We're going
to a Jets game.
182
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,066
Boy, you two certainly
have hit it off.
183
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,901
Well, he's just
so much fun to be with.
184
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,436
Becker?
185
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:55,172
Well, different strokes.
186
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:58,442
Look, you-- You seem
to know him pretty well.
187
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:02,246
And since we've got a minute,
I could use some advice.
188
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,781
Can you keep a secret?
189
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,986
A secret? Absolutely.
190
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,357
Wait a minute, did Becker
put you up to this?
191
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:15,926
Actually, he's who
I'm keeping the secret from.
192
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:19,030
Then I'm your girl.
193
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:22,499
When I told John I had regards
from his old friend Chuck,
194
00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:24,968
that wasn't exactly true.
195
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:28,206
They were
kind of regards from me.
196
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,975
What are we
talking about?
197
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:35,079
I'm the guy John used to know.
198
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:39,284
What are we
talking about?
199
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,985
I used to be Chuck Turner.
200
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,787
I had a sex change operation.
201
00:08:44,956 --> 00:08:48,559
Oh, my God.
202
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,497
You look fabulous.
( chuckles )
203
00:08:54,532 --> 00:08:56,534
Are you and Becker
really the same age?
204
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,469
Actually, I'm two months older.
205
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,872
Great work.
206
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,307
Oh, thanks.
207
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,075
See, I'm trying to find out
a way to tell him, you know.
208
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,444
I mean,
I thought maybe I--
209
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,480
Damn cops, you know, first
they nail me for expired plates.
210
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,882
So I take the plates off,
they nail me again.
211
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,050
What the hell
do they want?
212
00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:16,120
Sorry, you ready
for some football?
213
00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:19,824
I was born ready.
214
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,258
Have fun, guys.
215
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,193
( blues theme playing )
216
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,767
( blues theme playing )
217
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:35,206
Hey, Jake?
Yeah?
218
00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:37,976
Never mind.
219
00:09:40,378 --> 00:09:41,980
Jake?
Yeah?
220
00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:46,517
Oh, forget it.
221
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,354
Can I ask you
a question?
222
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,089
Evidently not.
223
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,959
Okay.
224
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,795
Say somebody knows
something about somebody.
225
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,531
And that somebody doesn't
want somebody else to know it.
226
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:04,101
The question is, should
the somebody keep the secret,
227
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,805
even though somebody else might
really get their feelings hurt?
228
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,541
What are we talking about?
229
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:14,278
Okay.
230
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,113
I know something
about Nicky,
231
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,049
but she made me promise
not to tell Becker.
232
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,051
And it's big.
233
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,252
Really big.
234
00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:26,457
( chuckling )
What is she, a guy?
235
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:31,862
Oh, my God!
236
00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:34,766
( blues theme playing )
237
00:10:40,338 --> 00:10:44,008
You know, I can't believe how
pissed that hotdog guy was
238
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,643
when you gave him
the big foam finger.
239
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,478
Yeah, well,
that hotdog guy's problem
240
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,381
began the day
he became the hotdog guy.
241
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:53,651
Want a beer?
242
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,819
Sure.
243
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,991
Uh, bottle's fine.
244
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:00,991
Yeah, you're probably right.
245
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:04,362
I think a pen broke
in there or something.
246
00:11:07,699 --> 00:11:09,233
Here you go.
247
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,434
Thanks.
248
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,236
I gotta tell you somethin',
you know, this--
249
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,740
Last couple of days
have just been great.
250
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,576
You know, I feel like
I can be myself around you.
251
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,212
Well, you seem to be
yourself with everyone.
252
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,515
Well, yeah, but it doesn't
seem to bother you.
253
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,217
Well, I try to accept
people the way they are
254
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:30,688
in the hopes that they'll
do the same for me.
255
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,890
You know what would
go great with this?
256
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,525
Chinese food.
257
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:38,429
Wow, you like Chinese food,
beer, football.
258
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,831
I mean, you're like
the perfect woman.
259
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,202
You know, Nicky...
260
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,937
I-I-I don't usually--
261
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:48,939
John.
262
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,008
Oh, boy, I'm sorry.
263
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,810
I'm not--
I'm not very good at this.
264
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,411
I'm terrible at it.
No, no, John.
265
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,947
Look, there's something
I need to talk to you about.
266
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,584
I should've
told you before.
267
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,185
It's about me and Chuck.
268
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,554
Oh, w-- Are--
269
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:07,391
Are you and Chuck,
like a thing?
270
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:13,530
Yeah, but not
the way you think.
271
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,499
John?
272
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,101
I am Chuck.
273
00:12:21,606 --> 00:12:23,040
What?
274
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,843
I had a sex change operation.
275
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:29,113
What?
276
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,816
Beck, it's me.
277
00:12:39,491 --> 00:12:42,626
Holy crap.
278
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:45,696
Oh, but, no, wait a minute,
this is--
279
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,830
No, y-you-- You've got--
280
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,301
You mean, you and now you?
281
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,968
Yes.
282
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:56,907
Oh, my God.
283
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,945
Oh, no, no, well,
wait a second.
284
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,245
Wait a second-- Wait.
285
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:04,849
If-- If you're Chuck,
w-where's the scar you got--
286
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:08,219
When you tried to steal third
and you slid into my head I--
287
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,953
Cover it with makeup.
288
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,290
But you had a broken nose.
289
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,592
Well, with all
the work I had done,
290
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,628
do you think I was gonna
live with that nose?
291
00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:22,366
God, wait--
Whoa, whoa.
292
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,468
This is too weird.
293
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,137
I mean, come on, we used
to play football together,
294
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,941
and now you're-- You're sitting
on my sofa wearing makeup?
295
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:33,110
John, I hoped you of all
people would understand.
296
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,879
Well, you thought wrong,
I don't understand.
297
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,914
I don't under--
I don't even wanna understand.
298
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,082
Look, John, can't we just talk?
No, lis-- You know.
299
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,219
You-- You came
in here pretending--
300
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,188
Do you realize that--
301
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,557
You know somethin', I--
You better go.
302
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,692
Go on.
303
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:58,870
So much for accepting people
the way they are.
304
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,737
( blues theme playing )
305
00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:10,214
( blues theme playing )
306
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:16,019
Oh, God,
Maria's on the way in.
307
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,189
Whatever she wants,
you handle it.
308
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,957
Oh, come on, Margaret.
309
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,892
Why don't you
just ask her for the money?
310
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,495
I mean, you've already
put it off for three years.
311
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,698
That's 1095 days.
312
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,400
Which is twenty-six thousand,
two hundred and--
313
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:34,305
Knock it off, Rain Man.
314
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,339
I'll talk to her.
315
00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:37,575
Hey, Margaret.
316
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,143
I just wanted
to stop by and tell you
317
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,411
what a lovely time
I had yesterday.
318
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,113
Yeah, that's nice,
glad to hear it.
319
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,849
Maria.
320
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,451
Do you remember
a pair of suede shoes
321
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,953
you bought three years ago?
322
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,187
Excuse me?
323
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,388
Oh, come on,
you got 'em at Macy's.
324
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,223
Taupe, two-inch heels.
325
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,425
Square toes.
326
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,325
Oh, right.
327
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,994
Yeah, but I returned
those the next day,
328
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,229
got my money back.
329
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,664
Why?
330
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:03,734
Twenty dollars
of that money was mine.
331
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,104
You borrowed $20 from me
to buy those shoes.
332
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,473
Oh, no,
I am so embarrassed.
333
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,542
Oh, I-I-I'm gonna pay
you back right now.
334
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,512
No, no, no, Maria,
it's not about the money.
335
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,612
Ha!
336
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:21,585
I just wanted to clear the air.
Nonsense.
337
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,822
I am paying you.
No, don't be ridiculous.
338
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,991
I'm sorry I mentioned it.
339
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,726
Oh, okay.
340
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,562
You are so sweet.
341
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,164
( giggles )
I'll see you soon.
342
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,298
Oh, that'll be great.
343
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,933
Bye.
Bye.
344
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:39,769
Did you see what she did?
345
00:15:39,771 --> 00:15:41,939
Yeah, she tried
to pay you back, twice.
346
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,075
Everybody knows
that it goes in threes.
347
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,377
Someone offers to pay,
you say no.
348
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,213
They offer a second time.
349
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,681
You say no again.
350
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,184
Then they are supposed
to offer a third time.
351
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,019
That's when you give in
and take the money.
352
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,154
That's the rule.
353
00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:02,126
Oh, Dr. Becker,
I'm so sorry
354
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,694
I told your girlfriend
you were dead.
355
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,130
If she comes back in here again,
I promise I'll be nice to her.
356
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,531
A, she's not my girlfriend.
357
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,332
B, I never wanna
see her again.
358
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:12,503
And C, if she shows up here,
tell her to get lost.
359
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,971
Jeez, what's with
the mood swings?
360
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,272
Your time of the month?
361
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,707
You know, Linda.
362
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,810
That's a very
insensitive comment.
363
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,849
Hi, Linda, I'm just dropping
off coffee for Becker.
364
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,685
Well, I'm not really
dropping off coffee,
365
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,954
but I can't tell you
why I am here.
366
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:32,255
You know what?
Let's just forget we talked.
367
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:38,095
I've never felt so normal
in my entire life.
368
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,829
( knocking )
369
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,166
What are you doin' here?
370
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,435
You didn't come by for your
coffee this morning.
371
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,270
Your coffee stinks.
372
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:49,273
Yeah, but if you don't keep
building up your immunity,
373
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:52,809
someday someone
could kill you with it.
374
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,844
Do you got a minute?
375
00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:56,813
Yeah, why?
376
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,382
Well...
377
00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:01,952
There's something I have
been trying to decide
378
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,253
whether I should
tell you or not,
379
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,489
and, well, I really
think I should.
380
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,895
I know something about Nicky,
and I think you should know.
381
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,330
You know?
382
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,665
Wait, you know?
383
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,534
How-- How did you know?
384
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,335
Oh, I could just tell.
385
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:22,039
You could?
386
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,707
No, she told me.
387
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,977
Oh, great,
does everybody know?
388
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,746
Not everybody.
I know, Jake knows--
389
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:31,681
Jake knows?
390
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,150
Jake guessed.
He guessed?
391
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,185
Oh, great, what,
does the whole world know
392
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:38,655
that I'm dating some woman
who used to be guy?
393
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,991
They do now.
394
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,528
I cannot believe this.
395
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,564
You didn't think it was
important enough to tell me?
396
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,698
It was a secret.
397
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,200
Which, by the way,
you'll note, I kept.
398
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,102
Even though I'm a woman.
399
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,638
Well, what kept?
You ran over here to tell me.
400
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,207
Oh, yeah.
401
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,776
But I didn't, did I?
402
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,245
In fact, I kept Nicky's
secret longer than Nicky did,
403
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,548
and it was her secret.
404
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,917
Yeah, that works.
405
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,785
You know, if I weren't
dealing with the fact that
406
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,956
I-I-I've been dating some guy
whose jock I used to borrow,
407
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,891
I-I'd pat you on the back.
408
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,759
Oh, what is it?
409
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,761
Are you upset 'cause
you were attracted to her?
410
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,463
I was not attracted to her.
411
00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:22,632
Little defensive, but okay.
412
00:18:23,935 --> 00:18:26,170
So, what happened
when she told you?
413
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,038
I threw her out. Him out.
414
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,874
Both of them.
415
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,442
Becker, why can't you accept
Nicky for who she is?
416
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:36,479
She accepts you for who you are,
and that's a lot more difficult.
417
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:38,849
I know all this liberal crap.
418
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:42,119
I know I'm not supposed
to be creeped out, but I am.
419
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,688
Look, I understand.
420
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,124
But, you know,
she was your friend once,
421
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,226
and I-I don't really see
what the difference is now.
422
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:53,564
You know
what I mean.
423
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,932
All--
424
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:59,270
All right, all right, I'll--
I'll go talk to her.
425
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,871
Good.
426
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,272
And if you do--
427
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:05,409
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll be nice.
428
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,978
You couldn't have just
been gay like everybody else?
429
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,348
I mean, you don't blow into town
and drop a bombshell like that.
430
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:12,916
I mean, use the telephone.
431
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,217
You know, or fax or e-mail.
432
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:16,586
I bet--
I bet Hallmark even has a card
433
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:18,087
that says,
"Guess what? I'm a chick."
434
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:21,492
Or how about one
of those Christmas letters
435
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,160
where people rattle off
every stupid thing
436
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,428
that's happened
to 'em all year?
437
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,363
It would've been one of the
first interesting one
438
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,199
of those ever written.
Get--
439
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,266
It's hard enough to do this
440
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,167
without you standing
there holding a bra.
441
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:32,502
It's a camisole.
442
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:33,570
Just put it down.
443
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:37,408
God, you know sometimes--
If you weren't a girl,
444
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,109
I'd take a swing at you.
445
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,678
Don't let the skirt fool you,
I can still kick your ass.
446
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,646
All right, all right,
447
00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,381
you don't have to get
all bent out of shape.
448
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,853
Look, maybe I could of handled
it better,
449
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,122
but I tried the direct approach
with my other friends.
450
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,425
It was the last time
they ever talked to me.
451
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,793
What if I had kissed you?
452
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,029
I wasn't going
to let you kiss me.
453
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,430
Why not?
What-- What's wrong with me?
454
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:01,665
Oh, no--
455
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,434
Don't answer that.
456
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,070
You see how confusing
this is?
457
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:10,073
Imagine what it was like
for an eighth grader.
458
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,274
You're kidding me.
459
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,476
You knew even back then?
460
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,479
I sure knew somethin'
wasn't right.
461
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:19,083
It just took me all this time to
figure out what to do about it.
462
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,585
I'm a woman,
I always was.
463
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:25,623
I was just born in the wrong
package, so I fixed that.
464
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,491
I can't believe
you're still in there.
465
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,727
I can't believe you still
wear those knit ties.
466
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:33,631
Yeah, well, when I have
something I like, I keep it.
467
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,899
Cute.
468
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,434
So what now?
469
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,737
I don't know, I tell you,
I have a lot of questions.
470
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,272
Well, you're gonna
have to make it quick
471
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:44,141
because I've got
a plane to catch.
472
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,143
All right, I'll go right
to the head of the list here.
473
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,044
( clears throat )
474
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,980
Should I be at all concerned
475
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:53,484
that I was attracted to a man?
476
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,819
Why don't you
think of it this way--
477
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:59,890
You were attracted
to an old friend.
478
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,291
Good, I'm gonna go with that.
479
00:21:02,927 --> 00:21:04,661
Are you, look--?
Are you--?
480
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,830
You sure this was
the right thing to do?
481
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,099
Yeah, John, I really am.
482
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,401
You're okay? You're happy?
483
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,701
I'm happy.
484
00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:14,771
Well, good,
you know, that's the--
485
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:15,905
Good.
486
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:19,043
I don't know what else to say.
487
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:23,146
How about "Call me next time
you're in New York"?
488
00:21:24,849 --> 00:21:27,785
Yeah, all right,
why don't you do that?
489
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,254
Give me a call.
490
00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:31,855
Thanks, man.
491
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,090
Oh.
492
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,025
( blues theme playing )
493
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,366
( upbeat blues theme playing )
494
00:21:42,416 --> 00:21:46,966
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