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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,402
( upbeat blues theme playing )
2
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:23,588
Here you go, Becker.
3
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,456
I-I didn't order
cottage cheese.
4
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,258
Those are potatoes.
5
00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:29,828
I'll stick with the eggs.
6
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,495
Eggs, right?
7
00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:33,497
That's what it said on the box.
8
00:00:34,633 --> 00:00:37,702
No complaints from me, Reg.
These eggs taste great.
9
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:41,105
That's 'cause
they're pancakes.
10
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,507
Greetings, losers.
11
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,275
Bob is now officially
one of you.
12
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,977
Shut up.
Go away, Bob.
13
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,912
Thank you
for your interest in Bob.
14
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:50,815
Bob's estranged wife has gotten
a killer divorce lawyer,
15
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,284
which means Bob is going
to lose it all.
16
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,753
Which means Bob is going to have
to keep living with his mother.
17
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,555
Now I wish I'd put her
in the good home.
18
00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,891
How could my wife
do this to me?
19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,626
I built my whole world
around that woman.
20
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,660
She was everything to me.
21
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,796
Where have you been hiding,
cupcake?
22
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,866
Or should I say where have
you been hiding those cupcakes?
23
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,333
You're repulsive.
24
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:11,435
But thank you.
25
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,239
Just coffee to go, Reggie.
26
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,541
Yeah, me too. Unless we
have time for breakfast?
27
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,642
You don't.
28
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,678
Trust me,
I'm doin' you a favor.
29
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,479
Here, John, I picked up
your plane ticket.
30
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,647
Ah...
31
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,516
Why don't you pick up
your own ticket?
32
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,786
He can't. The lady at the travel
agency refuses to deal with him.
33
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,921
Surprise, surprise.
34
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,723
Goin' on a vacation?
35
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,257
No, no, no, a friend of mine
wants me to talk
36
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,194
at a Family Practice conference
in Chicago on Friday.
37
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,430
Trust me, it's no vacation.
38
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,166
It will be for us.
39
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,101
Okay, let's go,
Linda.
40
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,469
You run along, Margaret.
41
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,471
I'll be there
when I'm good and ready.
42
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,772
Excuse me?
43
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,206
I'm coming.
I just wanted to see
44
00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,709
what that sounded like out loud.
45
00:01:53,412 --> 00:01:56,080
This guy sent me two tickets.
46
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,383
"Doctor and Mrs. John Becker."
47
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:02,387
Oh, jeez, I get chills
just sayin' that.
48
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,088
He must think I'm still married.
49
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,223
Hey, Jake, you wanna be my wife?
50
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:09,527
Not even if it meant
getting my sight back.
51
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,030
I just thought you might like
to get out of town
52
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,231
for a couple of days.
53
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,466
Well, thanks, John,
but you know,
54
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,135
I got this thing I--
Well, you see, I'm supposed to--
55
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,771
Oh, hell, I just
don't want to go.
56
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,373
Bob would like to go away.
57
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,542
Good. Go away.
58
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:27,945
I'll take the ticket, Becker.
59
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,115
I-I've got
this old girlfriend in Chicago,
60
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,550
and I'd love to see her.
61
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,351
Okay.
62
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,020
That's it?
No argument?
63
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,087
No.
64
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:36,922
Why?
65
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,157
Well, 'cause somewhere
in this city,
66
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,594
some moron is packing his bags,
preparing to sit
67
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:46,431
in the seat next to me and
tell me his pathetic life story.
68
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,133
I already know yours.
69
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,377
( blues theme playing )
70
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,049
Reg, important rule:
71
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,051
don't mention to anybody
I'm a doctor.
72
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:10,288
People find out, they start
askin' for free advice.
73
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,690
I understand.
74
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,259
Uh, excuse me,
are you Mr. Horton?
75
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:17,161
No, I'm Becker.
John Becker.
76
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:20,031
Dr. John Becker.
77
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,233
Nice to meet you, doctor.
78
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:27,839
Well, I thought
the crew should know.
79
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,741
Oh, I'm sorry.
80
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,776
Let me help you there,
young lady.
81
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,378
Oh, aren't you sweet?
82
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,480
But be careful,
I've got cookies in there
83
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,116
I baked for my grandchildren.
84
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,351
He's a doctor.
85
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,052
A doctor? Wonderful.
86
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:45,590
Maybe later
you'll look at my foot.
87
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:50,027
Sorry. I thought she was
one of the crew.
88
00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:51,763
Whoa!
89
00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:54,099
Sorry.
90
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,133
No problem.
91
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,801
No problem?
92
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,770
You're not gonna
take his head off?
93
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,305
What's with you?
94
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,674
You didn't complain
about the line at check-in.
95
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,442
Or when they got
our seats wrong.
96
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,911
God, Becker,
you're like a regular Boy Scout.
97
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,547
Well, Reg,
airline travel's the one place
98
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,816
you just have to
surrender control.
99
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:15,019
It's like being at sea
in the middle of hurricane.
100
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,955
No use in fighting it.
101
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,957
Just sit back
and ride out the storm.
102
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,024
( yells )
103
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,627
Whoopsie daisy.
104
00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:26,531
You took a Valium,
didn't you?
105
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,934
This big.
106
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,471
( blues theme playing )
107
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,610
Linda, just because
Dr. Becker isn't here
108
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,012
doesn't mean we don't work.
109
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,313
I'm workin'.
110
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,948
I'm clearin' out,
like, five years' worth
111
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,182
of old magazines.
112
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:47,351
Look at this.
Fat Oprah. Thin Oprah.
113
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,521
Fat Oprah. Thin Oprah.
114
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,390
Keep one of each.
Then we're covered.
115
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,893
Now get over here
and help me with this filing.
116
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,394
Oh, come on, Margaret.
117
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,229
Can't this be a "me day"?
118
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,266
You know, a day to goof off
while everyone else is workin'?
119
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,635
You do that every day.
120
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:07,304
Come on, Margaret,
let's just relax, kick back,
121
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:08,639
read a magazine.
122
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,542
Here's one now.
123
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,978
"What does it mean if your man
chooses food over sex?"
124
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,214
Linda, with Dr. Becker gone
and no patients,
125
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,618
this is a great chance for us
to organize the office.
126
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:28,259
What does it mean if your man
chooses food over sex?
127
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,462
( blues theme playing )
128
00:05:39,604 --> 00:05:40,738
Well, this is nice.
129
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,340
What am I supposed to do
when lunch comes?
130
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,976
Eat off this lady's head?
131
00:05:47,345 --> 00:05:50,081
Damn.
My seat won't budge.
132
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,851
Maybe if you complain,
you can get your money back.
133
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:57,922
Oh, that's right,
you didn't pay anything.
134
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,725
Come on, Reg. Relax, will ya?
135
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:01,826
Oh, sure, you're relaxed.
136
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,062
You're all hopped up
on goofballs.
137
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:09,000
I'm going to visit
my grandchildren in Chicago.
138
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,268
They live in Oak Park,
139
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:13,104
which is one of the most
fashionable sections.
140
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,506
I'm going to be there
for a week.
141
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,042
Well, that's nice.
142
00:06:19,244 --> 00:06:21,612
Oh, if I have to listen to that
the whole flight,
143
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,947
I'm gonna kill myself.
144
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,548
Oh, look,
look at that cloud.
145
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,385
It looks like a duck.
146
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,287
Excuse me,
can I get you anything?
147
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,555
Uh, no, thank you.
148
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,259
Oh, pardon me, when are you
gonna be serving lunch?
149
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,528
The cart will be by
in a little while.
150
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:40,899
Well, she's a subtle
little bitch, isn't she?
151
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,600
Oh, come on,
she's just doin' her job.
152
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:45,637
She was practically in your lap.
153
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,605
Becker, the tickets said
"Dr. and Mrs.".
154
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,407
How could she not think
we're together?
155
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,410
You know something?
You're absolutely right.
156
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,478
You are acting like my wife.
157
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,115
You haven't stopped yakking
since we got onboard.
158
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,321
( blues theme playing )
159
00:07:07,058 --> 00:07:10,161
Hey, bright eyes,
felt any good books lately?
160
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,564
The diner's closed, Bob.
Reggie's on her way to Chicago.
161
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,697
Oh, rats.
162
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:14,999
Bob's disappointed.
163
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,470
He was looking for a warm,
perky rack to rest his head on.
164
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:21,138
Bob, give it up.
Reggie can't stand you.
165
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,441
No, see, that was the old Bob,
the cocky Bob.
166
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,977
This is the new Bob,
the humble Bob.
167
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,780
You know what I think
she'd really love? The dead Bob.
168
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,982
Bob's gonna let that pass.
169
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,517
So you hungry?
I'll jump behind the counter
170
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,084
and whip us up a little snack.
171
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:35,954
Hey, stay away from there.
You've already committed
172
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,722
a dozen health code violations
walkin' in the door.
173
00:07:39,658 --> 00:07:41,358
Nothing back here
but the bare essentials.
174
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,961
Bob's gonna have to
work his magic.
175
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,995
Don't make me come over there.
176
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,864
Come on, don't make me play
177
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,700
hide-and-seek
with the blind guy.
178
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:52,637
Come on, Mr. Peepers, sit down.
I'll make you somethin'.
179
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,338
( blues theme playing )
180
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,713
Oh, this is just wrong.
181
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:06,817
No man would choose
food over sex.
182
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,552
Certainly not this food.
183
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,521
What is this? A brownie?
Or do we use it
184
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,725
to break a window
in case of an emergency?
185
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,393
Take it easy, Reg.
We'll be there in no time.
186
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,929
Take it easy?
187
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:20,998
You know, Becker, I am seeing
a very ugly side of you.
188
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,067
( beep )
189
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,837
Oh, look, we're starting
to land already.
190
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,839
Well, that was quick.
191
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,507
MAN ( over PA ):
Folks, this is Captain Glass.
192
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,642
It seems the weathermanis not our friend today.
193
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,510
Chicago's socked in,so I'm afraid
194
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,913
we've been rerouted to Buffalo.
195
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:36,814
What?
Buffalo?
196
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:37,815
I'm not going to Buffalo.
197
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,217
I-I'm going to Chicago.
198
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,553
I-I have to make a speech there
in a few hours.
199
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,421
Hopefully, we'll onlybe on the ground a short time.
200
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,256
Then we'll be on our way.
201
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,791
I-I don't wanna go to Buffalo.
202
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,392
No one ever wants
to go to Buffalo.
203
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,127
I wanna go where it says
I'm going on my ticket.
204
00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,262
What the hell
are you doing up there?
205
00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:55,432
Trying to get something
out of my bag.
206
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:56,500
Watch this.
207
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:59,170
You know, is this so difficult?
208
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,237
There. Now there's your bag.
209
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,906
Whatever you want,
just get it out.
210
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,275
Get it out.
Okay, okay.
211
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,047
Ah, good, that's it?
212
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,615
A pen?
213
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,083
Yeah, that's it.
Anything else?
214
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,918
You know, for later?
215
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,686
No, that's it.
Are you sure?
216
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:18,322
Because the bag's here now.
217
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:19,490
I'm sure.
218
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,159
Well, good.
You've got your little pen.
219
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,328
Now, sit the hell down.
220
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,464
Sit down.
221
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,536
Valium wear off?
222
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:35,005
Get your elbow off my side.
223
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,441
( blues theme playing )
224
00:09:40,945 --> 00:09:42,947
( blues theme playing )
225
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,522
Excuse me,
the pilot said 15 minutes.
226
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,557
We've been sitting here
for two-and-a-half hours.
227
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:54,592
What's going on?
228
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,094
We're still waiting
for a gate.
229
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,494
There's an empty gate
right there.
230
00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,196
It's less than
100 yards away.
231
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,798
I could spit that far.
232
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,800
Yes, but it's not our gate.
233
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,802
The captain says it'll
be about another 15 minutes--
234
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:07,071
No, no, don't give me
the 15-minute routine.
235
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:10,241
I'm a doctor.
I invented 15 minutes.
236
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,543
Look, I'm really sorry
about this.
237
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,845
Uh, is there anything
I can get you?
238
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,412
Another magazine?
Something to drink?
239
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,181
Actually, I'm starving.
240
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,450
Food service for this flight
is over.
241
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,552
Don't you have anything?
242
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,720
Even a little packet
of peanuts?
243
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:25,489
Oh, all right, I'll check.
244
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:27,358
Just hang in there
a little longer.
245
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,394
Hey, get your claws off my
husband and get me my damn nuts!
246
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:37,602
I want a divorce.
247
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,103
Oh, I don't know
if I can take this.
248
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,171
I get very nervous
in these enclosed spaces.
249
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:42,407
Are you gonna be okay?
250
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,241
I don't know.
I can't breathe very well.
251
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,577
Is there a doctor here?
This guy's in bad shape.
252
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,613
He's a doctor!
253
00:10:50,715 --> 00:10:54,018
Here. Breathe into that.
254
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,823
Do you have any chest pains?
255
00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,624
No.
256
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,925
Any numbness in your left arm?
257
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,661
No.
Yeah, well, if you did,
258
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,398
it'd probably be from
hauling that stupid bag around.
259
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,598
Look, you're gonna be fine.
260
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,935
You just have
an anxiety attack goin' here.
261
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,705
Has anybody got a sedative
of any kind? Anybody?
262
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,474
You mean like Valium?
263
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,242
Hey, don't-- I only have one
for the flight home.
264
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,745
Anybody?
265
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,180
Becker.
266
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,282
Oh, all right.
267
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,685
Here, let me have your hand.
268
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,354
There you go.
Pop that in there.
269
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,955
Isn't that a Tic Tac?
270
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:37,261
Fine, smarty-pants.
271
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:43,200
It's called a placebo.
It was worth a shot.
272
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:46,770
( blues theme playing )
273
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:50,207
So I'm upstairs in bed
waiting for Louis.
274
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,776
Ten minutes go by,
20 minutes go by.
275
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:56,080
Finally I go downstairs,
and he is sitting by the door
276
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,282
waiting for pizza.
277
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,985
Oh, you poor thing.
278
00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:03,654
So, what did you say?
279
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:07,191
I said, "Louis, you placed
two orders tonight,
280
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,260
"and one of them
is about to get cold.
281
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,628
Now, think about it.
282
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:14,632
You can always reheat pizza."
283
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:17,468
So everything worked out okay?
284
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,603
Well, sort of.
We had sex, but--
285
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,238
How should I put this?
286
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,309
When we finished,
the pizza was still hot.
287
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,177
( blues theme playing )
288
00:12:32,851 --> 00:12:35,452
Here. Last one.
289
00:12:38,022 --> 00:12:41,759
Boy, if I wasn't so weak
from hunger, I'd go after her.
290
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,361
Yeah, me too.
291
00:12:47,832 --> 00:12:49,367
( squeaks )
292
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,336
When you're in Chicago,
visit Oak Park.
293
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,938
They have a wonderful
mall there.
294
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:59,443
Sometimes my daughter takes me
and leaves me there all day.
295
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,546
Gee, I wonder why.
296
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,749
I'm so hungry.
297
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,984
Wait. The old bat.
298
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,419
Oh, see, you win.
299
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,255
You're a lot hungrier than I am.
300
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,090
No, she has cookies.
301
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:16,961
Excuse me, uh, I hate to ask,
but I'm famished.
302
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,063
Is there any chance
that I could have one of those
303
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,299
wonderful cookies
that are in your bag?
304
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,301
Well, of course,
you certainly can.
305
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,836
Ten dollars.
306
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:29,040
Ten dollars for a cookie?
307
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,409
Listen, I've been
stuck on planes before.
308
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,578
Believe me, ten's a good price.
309
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:38,549
Hey, I heard you're a doctor.
310
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,051
You see this disgusting thing
on my neck here?
311
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:42,486
This look okay to you?
312
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,988
Hey, wait a minute.
313
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,755
I'm next.
314
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:48,658
He's gonna look at my foot.
315
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,861
There's only one thing
missing now.
316
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,029
( baby crying )
317
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,365
Ah, there it is.
318
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,300
( blues theme playing )
319
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,475
Jake, come on over here
and taste this.
320
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,577
I call it "Chicken ? la Bob."
321
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:10,214
I'm not tastin' anything
"? la Bob."
322
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,415
Come on,
Bob's a great cook.
323
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:14,885
Bob's wife said that's the only
reason she kept him around.
324
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,788
On the plus side, when she
was eating, she couldn't talk.
325
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,158
And yet the marriage broke up.
Go figure.
326
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,526
Come on, try it.
All right, all right.
327
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,928
I'll taste it.
328
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,730
( clears throat )
329
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,204
This is amazing.
330
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,237
( laughs )
331
00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:35,973
No, seriously,
this is fantastic.
332
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,274
You know, if you opened up
a restaurant,
333
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,143
I bet you could make a fortune.
334
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,212
Wow,
that means a lot to me.
335
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,380
I mean, cooking makes me
feel like I'm worth something,
336
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,482
like I have some dignity.
337
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,550
Let's not get carried away.
338
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,454
You still servin' lunch?
339
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,756
You wanna make
a couple of bucks?
340
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,893
Yes, sir.
How many in your party?
341
00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,831
( blues theme playing )
342
00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:04,368
( baby crying )
343
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,918
It's a peanut. It's mine.
344
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,887
I-I lost it in your hair.
345
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,989
Just turn around.
346
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:30,661
Mm.
347
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,299
( blues theme playing )
348
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:44,475
Whoa!
349
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,176
I learned that
from watchin' Martha Stewart.
350
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:48,679
Nice set of cans on her,
don't you think?
351
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:53,417
Less talkin', more cookin'.
352
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,687
Why didn't you tell me
you knew how to give pedicures?
353
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,589
Oh, when I worked
in the beauty parlor,
354
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,124
I got to do a lot of this.
355
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,793
They wouldn't let me
get near anybody's head.
356
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,561
( blues theme playing )
357
00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:10,567
( all chattering angrily )
358
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,507
Folks, folks, please,
please, please quiet down.
359
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,841
We're doing the best we can.
360
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:20,544
Please quiet down.
We're doing the best we can.
361
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,847
Excuse me, I was won--
We're out.
362
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:26,717
--if I could put my fist
in your mouth.
363
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,652
Oh, I love airline magazines.
364
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,187
Everything you ever
wanted to know
365
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,890
about everything you never
wanted to know about.
366
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:36,060
Oh, look, look, picture
of the CEO of the airline.
367
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:38,428
Mr. Frank McKee.
368
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,131
Look at that smug little grin.
369
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,234
No wonder he's smiling.
He's not stuck on this plane.
370
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,635
Please. If he were,
you think we'd still be here?
371
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,738
No.
372
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,439
No. No, I don't.
373
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:53,978
What are you doing, Becker?
374
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,813
I'm gonna find
this smiley little CEO
375
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:59,283
and tell him to get us off
the damn airplane.
376
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,652
Oh, come on, how are you even
gonna get his number?
377
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,987
Ah, just watch and learn,
watch and learn.
378
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:06,090
All right,
headquarters in Dallas.
379
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:08,392
Who do I know in Dallas?
380
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,993
( phone rings )
381
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,494
Damn.
382
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,032
Doctor's office.
383
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,466
BECKER:
Margaret, it's me.
384
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,269
I'm stuck on a planein Buffalo.
385
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,203
Don't-- Don't ask.
386
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,371
I need you to get me
a phone number.
387
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,041
Well, it's a little tough
right now.
388
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,243
My- my hands are full.
389
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,311
Oh, well, maybe I should just
sit on this plane
390
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:31,215
for another five hours
until your hands are empty.
391
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,650
Valium wear off?
392
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:37,221
Listen, I-I need to calla Dr. Tom Henshaw.
393
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,490
He's a plastic surgeon
in Dallas.
394
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,591
All right, hold on a second.
395
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:49,900
Hi, Dr. Becker.
We're working really hard here.
396
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,702
Put those down.
He can't see you.
397
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:56,073
Oh, right. He has no idea we've
been screwing around all day.
398
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,774
I do now.
399
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,914
Thank you, Margaret.
400
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,582
Got it.
401
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,453
What are you gonna do?
402
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,655
This guy is theplastic surgeon
in Dallas.
403
00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:17,160
I bet he knows how to get a hold
of smiling Frank McKee.
404
00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:21,298
Yeah, hey, Tom,
it-it's John Becker.
405
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,067
Don't hang up.
406
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,869
Oh, you just have friends
everywhere, don't you?
407
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,205
Yeah, Tom, I-I need a favor.
408
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:31,041
Have you ever done any work
on a Mrs. Frank McKee?
409
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,576
The wife of the airline guy?
410
00:18:33,578 --> 00:18:35,545
You have? Oh, that's great.
411
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,748
Look--
You did work on him too?
412
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:41,251
What'd he have done?
413
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:44,187
Well, that-- That must've made
Mrs. McKee very happy.
414
00:18:45,957 --> 00:18:48,091
Look, uh, Tom,
it's a long story,
415
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,295
but do you have
their home phone?
416
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,831
Oh, that's great. Great.
Listen, I appreciate that.
417
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,834
Oh, and I take back what I said
about plastic surgeons
418
00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,770
not being real doctors.
419
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,572
Even though they're not.
420
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,312
This is Frank McKee.
How can I help you?
421
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,146
BECKER:
Yeah, Frank?
422
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,015
I'm a passenger
on your flight 561.
423
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:15,018
You got over 200 people sitting
on the ground in Buffalo
424
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,253
for over five hours
waiting for an empty gate
425
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:18,989
that's only
a hundred yards away.
426
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,359
We got no food, no air,
and less legroom than a--
427
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,961
Than a calf in a veal pen.
428
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,328
( all chattering )
429
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,265
Yeah, well, I can
appreciate your predicament,
430
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:30,567
but there's not a lot I can do.
431
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:31,768
Gee, Frank,
432
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,604
I feel like I'm getting
the shaft here.
433
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,806
Which reminds me,
I heard about
434
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,474
your little operation last year.
435
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:40,177
How's the new equipment
workin' out, there, stud?
436
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,346
You know what?Don't-- Don't tell me.
437
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,214
I got friend
who's a newspaper reporter.
438
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,617
We'll just let him
ask you the questions.
439
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,185
Hold on.
440
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,388
Maybe I can help you. Uh...
441
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,725
Let me make a phone call and
see if I can get you to a gate.
442
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:58,128
And I-- I apologize
for the inconvenience.
443
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,397
Yeah, I-I thought you might,Frank.
444
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,299
All right, people,
we're goin' to the gate.
445
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,801
( cheering )
446
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,635
Don't-- Don't get too excited.
447
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,871
When we get there,
we'll still be in Buffalo.
448
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,373
( all groan )
449
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,807
( blues theme playing )
450
00:20:15,079 --> 00:20:17,047
( blues theme playing )
451
00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:25,856
Oh, I can't wait to get off this
plane and get something to eat.
452
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,658
Not in Buffalo.
You're too late.
453
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,726
All the restaurants
in the airport have closed.
454
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,364
Look, I'm starving.
455
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,965
I'll buy one of
your damn cookies.
456
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,133
Okay, but the price went up.
457
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:38,869
Twenty bucks each.
458
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,005
Oh, greedy old hag.
459
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,307
I heard that!
Fifty dollars.
460
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,075
Thirty.
Forty.
461
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,910
Thirty-five.
Done.
462
00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:52,682
This better be
one damn good cookie.
463
00:20:54,285 --> 00:20:57,620
All right,
what are we gonna do now?
464
00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:59,590
There's no way
I'm stayin' in Buffalo.
465
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,591
Well, there's no sense
in going to Chicago.
466
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,327
I've already missed
the conference.
467
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,461
Hey, Flygirl,
468
00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:07,230
where's this plane goin' now?
469
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:10,033
After refueling, this plane's
going back to New York.
470
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,235
What do you think?
471
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,037
Might as well.
472
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,139
Oh, yes,
473
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,608
life is not so bad after all.
474
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,010
Look at that.
475
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,079
Another Valium.
476
00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:25,182
Halvsies?
477
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,751
Yeah, yeah.
All right, all right.
478
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:30,821
There you go.
479
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,861
( blues theme playing )
480
00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:43,100
( upbeat blues theme playing )
481
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:47,700
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