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1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,568
( upbeat blues theme playing )
2
00:00:22,421 --> 00:00:23,788
Reggie, hi.
3
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,423
Give me a coffee
and a muffin, quick.
4
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,026
I have to get to the office
before Doctor Becker.
5
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,927
If I'm a half a second late,
the bug up his butt
6
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:32,263
grabs the stick up his butt
and beats me with it.
7
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,366
Morning, Linda.
8
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:38,804
Sorry.
9
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,338
Shouldn't you be at the office?
10
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:44,475
Well, since you're here,
11
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:47,946
how do you know for sure
that I'm not there?
12
00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:52,050
Don't have an answer
for that one, do you?
13
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,552
Just go away, will ya?
14
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,191
Don't worry, she doesn't have
a key to the drug cabinet.
15
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:02,493
Maybe you should think
about giving her one.
16
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,662
Can you believe it? I've only
been back in school three weeks,
17
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,598
and I already have
this huge Psych paper due.
18
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,168
What was I thinking,
going back to college?
19
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,203
Yeah, and at your age.
20
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:17,909
Did I say, "At my age"?
No, I don't think I did.
21
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,913
Reggie, can I have
an extra large coffee, please?
22
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,150
I can't face that man without
a heavy dose of caffeine.
23
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:26,818
I swear, I wish he would
24
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,187
just calm the hell down.
25
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,355
And, yes, John,
I saw you sitting there,
26
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:32,857
but as far as I'm concerned,
27
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,093
you can't hear that
often enough.
28
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,799
Oh, wait.
I don't believe this.
29
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:44,903
"Harvard Doctor Patents
Miracle Anti-Wrinkle Cream"?
30
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,170
I mean, what a crock.
31
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,606
They are 9000 diseases
that need a cure,
32
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,575
and how does this idiot
spend his time?
33
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,144
Inventing some overpriced
gunk to slather on
34
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:56,314
leather-faced socialites who are
desperately trying to look like
35
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,384
Jennifer Love Whoever.
36
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:03,120
For once, can't you just
do the Jumble and shut up?
37
00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:04,756
Wait, you didn't--
You didn't let me finish.
38
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,424
The doctor that invented it?
39
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,895
Bruce Anderson?
My research partner at Harvard.
40
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,129
BOTH:
Oh...
41
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,564
What?
42
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,397
Oh, you think I'm jealous?
43
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:14,665
I'm not jealous.
44
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,868
What do you call it?
45
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,370
I'm embarrassed for Harvard.
46
00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:28,412
Look, I know
what you're thinking,
47
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,815
but I'm only back here
because Margaret sent me
48
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,283
to get her some coffee.
49
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,786
She's been at the office
all morning and didn't have time
50
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,620
to get any for herself.
51
00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:37,956
Ah.
52
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,959
Actually, Margaret
just left here with coffee.
53
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,927
( yells )
54
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:46,730
He's always one step ahead!
55
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,967
( upbeat blues theme swells )
56
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,006
( upbeat blues theme playing )
57
00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,579
Doctor Bruce Anderson.
Some genius.
58
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,315
He barely knew what end
of a microscope to look through.
59
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,849
We know, Becker, we know.
60
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,917
( phone rings )
61
00:03:07,619 --> 00:03:08,920
Hello.
62
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,054
Single-celled organisms
63
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,956
used to stare up at him
from their petri dish
64
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,091
and say, "Hey, look at stupid."
65
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:16,627
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die.
66
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,096
I'm gonna die.
67
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,265
No, really, I'm gonna die!
68
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,466
Die already.
69
00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:24,502
That was Jackie
from the dry cleaners.
70
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,371
We went to high school together.
71
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,207
Jackie? Is she the one
with the knob on her face?
72
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,142
It's a beauty mark.
73
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:35,346
A beauty mark?
Please. I hung my coat on it.
74
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:38,549
The point is,
Jordan Brewster is in town,
75
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,085
and he's on his way over here.
76
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,386
Who the hell's Jordan Brewster?
77
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,621
Only the most popular guy
in high school.
78
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:46,858
I was totally in love with him.
79
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,326
But my dad
wouldn't let us go out.
80
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,660
Said he didn't trust him.
81
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:50,962
But none of that matters now,
82
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:54,098
because he's on his way
over here to see me.
83
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,634
Oh, my God,
I gotta go do my hair.
84
00:03:57,869 --> 00:03:59,670
Hello, crumb-bums.
85
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,239
Where's Mommy Longlegs?
86
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:06,378
She's fixing her hair for some
guy named Jordan Brewster.
87
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,779
Jordan Brewster?
88
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,047
You mean to tell me
Jordan Brewster's back in town?
89
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,816
Bob's been waiting forever
to get his revenge
90
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,284
on Jordan Brewster.
91
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,486
Jordan Brewster.
92
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,756
I'm gonna kill the next person
who says "Jordan Brewster."
93
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,960
Say, Bob,
what's his name again?
94
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,962
Oh, how he tortured Bob
in high school.
95
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,364
The wedgies,
the purple nurples.
96
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:30,234
Many was the gym class he filled
Bob's jockstrap with Icy Hot.
97
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,770
Okay, that I kinda liked.
98
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,274
But the point is,
Bob's been waiting for this.
99
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,478
The day when Jordan has nothing,
and Bob is on top of the world.
100
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,080
What? What on top of the world?
101
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:47,251
I mean, your wife jut left you,
and you lost your business.
102
00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:49,454
Oh, right.
103
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,989
Too bad he didn't come back
last month when Bob had it all.
104
00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:55,593
Whoa, speaking of nurples,
105
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,295
Bob definitely approves
106
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,965
Reg, it's been a long time since
you've seen this Jordan guy.
107
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,834
Don't you think you might
be setting yourself up
108
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,301
for a disappointment?
109
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,636
Well, what makes you say that?
110
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,238
How do you know?
He could be a big success.
111
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,108
Oh, please, Jake.
This one's flipping burgers,
112
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,009
the friend with the knob
is pressing pants,
113
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,177
and we got Bob over here.
114
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:15,547
I mean,
that was some high school.
115
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:20,418
I bet there was a 200-way tie
for "Least Likely to Succeed."
116
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,086
You know,
by now he's probably
117
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,723
some blob with a bad combover.
118
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,257
Yeah, well,
he gets no pity from me.
119
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,260
The second he walks in,
I'm gonna kick his ass.
120
00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:32,364
Jordan.
121
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,864
But first
I gotta make a call.
122
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,470
Oh, my God, Jordan Brewster.
123
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,505
Well, I'm surprised
you recognized me.
124
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,907
Are you kidding?
You haven't changed a bit.
125
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,043
You haven't either.
126
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,544
Well, if I'd known
you were coming,
127
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,080
I would have fixed myself up.
128
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,482
( chuckles )
129
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,751
Gee, Reggie, you look great.
130
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,420
Oh, you.
131
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,555
So, uh, is he a blob
with a bad combover?
132
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:59,524
Pretty much.
133
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,726
Listen, I just, uh--
I just stopped by to say hi,
134
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,796
and, uh, tell you how sorry
I was to hear about your father.
135
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,264
Oh, thank you.
136
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,765
Your dad was quite
a character.
137
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:08,766
The last time I was here,
138
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,769
he chased me out
with a baseball bat.
139
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,270
Uh, so, uh--
So, what have you been up to?
140
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,673
Married? Kids?
141
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:16,841
Oh, no, I'm single.
142
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,544
Well, very single.
All alone. Just me.
143
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,046
Well, not that I don't date.
I do. A ton.
144
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,681
Well, not a ton too much,
you know,
145
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,349
just a ton, the right amount.
146
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,451
It's not like
I'm a slut or anything.
147
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,555
I'm gonna stop talking now.
148
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,924
Good choice.
149
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,726
These two friends of yours?
150
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,693
He works here, he eats here.
151
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:40,498
So, Jordan,
what are you doing back in town?
152
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,767
I'm putting together
the funding to build a hospital.
153
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,069
Hey, John, you two
are in the same business.
154
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,506
He builds hospitals, you lance
boils out of a storefront.
155
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,243
Let's not get haughty
about professions,
156
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,646
Mr. "Extra, Extra,
Read All About It."
157
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:58,550
I also sell mints.
158
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,319
Listen, I can see
that you're busy, but, uh,
159
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,320
any chance I could
steal you away for lunch?
160
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:04,922
Oh, I would love it.
161
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,957
Jake, keep an eye on the place,
would you?
162
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,393
I mean--
You know what I mean.
163
00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:14,499
All right, where is he?
164
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,133
Where's Jordan?
165
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,135
He just left, Bob.
166
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,870
Oh, well he's lucky,
167
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,172
'cause next time he's in here,
I'm gonna kick his ass.
168
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,542
Oh, that's great, Bob,
but I doubt if he'll
169
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:27,245
be sticking his ass in that
phone booth any time soon.
170
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,347
( laughs )
171
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,682
( upbeat blues theme playing )
172
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:39,691
Linda, I told you
not to put food out there.
173
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,693
If we feed him,
he'll just keep coming back.
174
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,127
But he's hungry.
175
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,130
Can't we keep him, please?
176
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,867
No. He's mangy, he smells bad,
and he's got fleas.
177
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,103
But he looks so sad
with those big brown eyes.
178
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,539
He's just sitting
in the doorway.
179
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:58,209
Margaret, there's a bum
just sitting in the doorway.
180
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,211
Please do not talk
about Ira that way.
181
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,448
He's a thinking, feeling person.
He's not an animal.
182
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,316
He told you his name?
183
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,518
No, I named him.
184
00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:10,388
Just relax, John.
185
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,923
I'm trying to find
a place for him.
186
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,390
I called the city. No luck.
187
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:14,759
But I'm gonna try
the churches next.
188
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,094
I'm sure they'll help.
189
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,194
Yeah, right.
190
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,797
Call the Pope, maybe he'll
build him a penthouse
191
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:20,698
at the Vatican.
192
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:23,834
Please, can't I keep him?
193
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,836
I promise,
you won't have to do a thing.
194
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,872
And no one'll take care of him
as good as I will. Please?
195
00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:31,675
Linda, for the last time, no.
196
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,412
Not fair! You guys never
let me do anything!
197
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:39,283
I don't know where
she gets that temper,
198
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:42,253
but it's certainly not from me.
199
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:45,723
Okay, John, here are your
messages and here's the paper.
200
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,526
But please don't read it until
I've left the room.
201
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,661
Why? Oh, yeah,
don't worry about it.
202
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,498
I've already, uh,
read about Doctor Bruce Anderson
203
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,800
and his million-dollar
wrinkle cream.
204
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,536
And?
And I let off a little steam,
205
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,204
and I'm feeling a lot better.
206
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,874
Since when do you have
a finite amount of steam?
207
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,109
Honestly, it doesn't bother me.
208
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,344
Liar.
209
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:10,147
Right now you're
chewing on your own liver.
210
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:13,050
Margaret, believe me, I don't
want to make wrinkle cream.
211
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,653
A long time ago
I made a decision to go into
212
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,187
private practice
and help people,
213
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,456
and I find that very fulfilling.
214
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:20,858
Now, if you'll excuse me,
215
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,661
I have to go burn
an infected mole
216
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,297
off Mrs. McClaren's armpit.
217
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,166
( laughing )
218
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,602
Hey, as pathetic as I am,
you're my assistant.
219
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,341
( upbeat blues theme playing )
220
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,681
JAKE:
So, Reg,
221
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,282
was your lunch date
with Jordan Brewster
222
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,151
everything you dreamed
it would be?
223
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,319
And more.
224
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,754
Lunch turned into dinner
at Lut�ce.
225
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,256
It was so romantic.
226
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,359
We had this $300
bottle of champagne.
227
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,729
Then I'll bet I know
what happened next.
228
00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:02,066
No, you don't.
He was a perfect gentleman.
229
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,734
If he spent all that money
and went home alone,
230
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,203
then he's a perfect idiot.
231
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,007
Hey, Squints,
is Jordan here?
232
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,176
No, Bob, he's not.
233
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:16,213
All right, Jordan, let's go.
You and me.
234
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,915
Bob, he's not here.
235
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,150
Oh, well, he's lucky,
236
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:24,122
'cause the next time I see him,
I'm gonna kick his ass.
237
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,223
You tell him I'll be back
at 3:00 sharp.
238
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,526
Good, 'cause he'll be back here
at 3:00 too.
239
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,094
Three's no good for me.
But I'll get back to ya.
240
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,064
Good morning.
Good riddance.
241
00:10:34,099 --> 00:10:35,366
Where you going?
242
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,267
Out with Jordan.
243
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,269
We're gonna spend
the day together.
244
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,371
Well, what kind
of diner is this?
245
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,239
I mean, what about my breakfast?
246
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:43,641
What would you like?
247
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,443
Eggs, hash browns
and toast, please.
248
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,278
Right. A muffin it is.
249
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,648
You're getting a little
carried away here, aren't you?
250
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,518
I mean, a guy blows into town,
all of a sudden you're--
251
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,787
You're flitting around
like a teenager.
252
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:56,820
That shows how much you know.
253
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,390
This is the most healthy,
adult relationship
254
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,924
I've had in years.
255
00:11:07,132 --> 00:11:08,799
Hey, you kids, you--
256
00:11:10,468 --> 00:11:12,670
What're you two, like 35?
257
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:15,773
I really hope you're married
to other people,
258
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,442
otherwise this is way
too embarrassing.
259
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,177
Get a room.
260
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,053
( upbeat blues theme playing )
261
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:42,466
Oh, this is insane.
262
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,468
I mean, she meets a guy,
stays out late,
263
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,570
and now I can't get
a cup of coffee.
264
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,406
Isn't she upstairs?
265
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,942
Hey, Reg.
Wake up, I'm thirsty.
266
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,277
Hey, uh, look at this.
267
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,646
Some Harvard geek invented
some new wrinkle cream.
268
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:56,847
He's gonna make a fortune!
269
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,316
I wouldn't go there
if I were you, Bob.
270
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,151
That's John's
old research partner.
271
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,418
Oh, that's gotta sting.
272
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,454
What did I just say?
273
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,189
Boy, Becker, you must feel
like that schmuck
274
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,625
who got kicked out
of The Beatles.
275
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,827
Doesn't bother me.
Come on.
276
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,395
Do you realize
if you stayed with this guy,
277
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,330
this would be you in the paper?
278
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:17,168
Keep it up, Bob, and tomorrow
we'll both be in the paper.
279
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:21,505
Good morning.
280
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,808
Isn't that the same outfit
you wore yesterday?
281
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:24,808
Uh-huh.
282
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,244
So you didn't go home
last night?
283
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,377
No.
So you?
284
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,180
Uh-huh.
285
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,348
Oh, the horror!
286
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:35,519
Bob's raven-haired beauty,
losing her virginity
287
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,955
to Jordan Brewster.
288
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,258
Well, I waited
as long as I could.
289
00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:43,694
Say, Reg, you know, given your--
290
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,831
Your luck with men,
he's probably married.
291
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,165
He's not, I checked.
292
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,202
Maybe he's poor.
He's not. I checked.
293
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,436
Maybe he's gay.
294
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,005
He's not. I checked.
295
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,543
( upbeat blues theme playing )
296
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:13,624
Linda, why is Boxcar Willie
asleep in the waiting room?
297
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,226
I don't know.
He was supposed to be filing.
298
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:18,395
You just can't find
good help these days.
299
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,265
I know.
300
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,500
You don't think I got that,
but I did.
301
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:28,839
Margaret, why is Linda's bum
still here?
302
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,608
I thought you were gonna find
a home for him.
303
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,009
I tried.
304
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,812
I called the Catholics,
the Jews, the Presbyterians,
305
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,214
and you were right.
306
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,681
They said they wouldn't
pick him up.
307
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,749
The Buddhists said they
wouldn't pick him up either,
308
00:13:39,751 --> 00:13:42,186
but they said
I should be okay with that.
309
00:13:44,422 --> 00:13:45,956
I-I-I don't trust Buddhists.
310
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,359
They're like Hare Krishnas
who won't commit.
311
00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:53,664
Bruce Anderson called to say hi.
You want his number?
312
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,132
Oh, yeah, please.
313
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,667
The guy hasn't called me
for years,
314
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,936
all of a sudden he's making
millions off his wrinkle cream,
315
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,771
now he wants to rub
my face in it.
316
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:04,575
Well, it might help
with those frown lines.
317
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,310
You're very funny.
You're gonna crack 'em up
318
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,845
down at Unemployment, Margaret.
319
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,380
As if.
320
00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:12,783
Oh, the hell with him.
321
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,885
You know, I'm better than he is.
322
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,821
I'm smarter than he is.
323
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:20,223
I'm sure as hell
taller than he is.
324
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:24,128
It's quite obvious
what your problem is.
325
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,396
Excuse me?
326
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:30,701
The jealousy you feel
for your ex-partner is merely
327
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,637
the outward manifestation
328
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:38,074
of your own
deep-seeded insecurity.
329
00:14:39,477 --> 00:14:43,347
In short, get over it.
330
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:47,817
( upbeat blues theme playing )
331
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,027
Jake, did you hear the phone?
332
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,829
No. Did you?
333
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,598
No.
334
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,635
Okay, I think
we're done here.
335
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,670
I'm sorry. It's just that
Jordan hasn't called
336
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:10,107
since our night together.
337
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,410
You mean, last night, right?
338
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,745
Yes, okay, last night.
339
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:17,248
My father was right.
340
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,116
I shouldn't have trusted him.
341
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,053
I mean, he got what he wanted
and he moved on.
342
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:25,589
I understand.
You feel like a whore.
343
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:31,528
Did I say I felt like a whore?
344
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,364
No, I don't think I did.
345
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,498
Well, the hell with
Jordan Brewster.
346
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,566
( phone rings )
347
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:38,602
Oh, my God, I hope it's him.
348
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,171
Hello.
349
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,538
It is.
350
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,507
Where are you, Jordan?
351
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,409
I will be right there.
352
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:49,146
He didn't reject me.
My father was wrong.
353
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,248
Jordan is a good person.
354
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,317
Where is he?
In jail.
355
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:56,087
Who-who's in jail?
356
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,455
Jordan Brewster.
357
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,489
Jordan Brewster's in jail?
358
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,092
Jordan Brewster's in jail?
359
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:05,896
Oh, this is a good day
in Bobland.
360
00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:09,700
A very good day.
361
00:16:11,002 --> 00:16:13,003
( upbeat blues theme playing )
362
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:25,616
Hey.
363
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,350
Hey.
364
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,788
So, what's up?
365
00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:33,590
Not much. You?
366
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:34,925
Nothing.
367
00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:38,295
Well, not nothing.
I am in jail.
368
00:16:41,332 --> 00:16:44,335
Jordan, I want you to know
that I trust you,
369
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,036
and I wanna help you.
370
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,639
Now, tell me, why do you
think you were arrested?
371
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,674
It's the damnedest thing.
372
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,876
You know that hospital
I was building?
373
00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:55,579
Some of the investors
allege that I skimmed
374
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,381
a couple million dollars
and hid it somewhere.
375
00:16:59,016 --> 00:17:01,018
But you didn't, right?
I mean, you're innocent.
376
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,220
Absolutely.
I'm innocent...
377
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,022
ish.
378
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,025
"Ish"?
379
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,593
Jordan, I'm not sure
what that means.
380
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,395
Did you do it or didn't you?
381
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:15,365
You look really pretty today.
382
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,367
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I don't believe it.
383
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,968
You-you're guilty.
384
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:21,571
Hey, that's for a jury
to decide.
385
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,876
Then why exactly
did you call me?
386
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:30,347
Well, there is the little
matter of, uh, bail.
387
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:33,951
You expect me to bail you out?
I don't have that kind of money.
388
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,386
Oh, no,
I already thought about that.
389
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,654
And, besides, I have far
too much respect for you
390
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,356
to take your money.
391
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:42,626
Then what do you want?
392
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,829
I just want someone
to believe in me.
393
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,065
Someone to care about me.
394
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,834
Someone to go to locker 472
395
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,336
at the Port Authority
Bus Station--
396
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,103
That's it.
397
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:57,174
My father was right about you.
398
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:59,376
You know, you probably
do belong in jail.
399
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:00,811
And as popular as you were
in high school,
400
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,947
I hope you're twice as popular
in the joint!
401
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,987
Not so fast, Jordan.
402
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:14,091
Or should I say number 24601?
403
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,893
And you are?
404
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,262
Don't remember Bob
from high school, do you?
405
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,864
Bob's been waiting 20 years
for this moment.
406
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,200
You're not so tough
behind that bulletproof--
407
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:24,368
Bulletproof, right?
408
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,870
Bulletproof glass, are you?
409
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,772
For all the gym classes
Bob spent
410
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,742
with his head in the toilet,
nurples aching,
411
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,544
Bob is finally vindicated.
412
00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,814
You're a loser, Jordan.
413
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,917
Always have been,
always will be.
414
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,090
Oh, one more thing.
415
00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:52,696
How do you like that, bitch?
416
00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:06,977
( upbeat blues theme playing )
417
00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,115
Oh, I'm so stupid.
418
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,751
My father was right,
Jordan just used me.
419
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,787
No, I'm the stupid one.
420
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,989
Why didn't I invent something?
421
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,992
Maybe something
to make women's asses smaller,
422
00:19:23,628 --> 00:19:25,996
get a Nobel Prize.
423
00:19:27,331 --> 00:19:29,800
Was my life so empty
that I had to chase after
424
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,703
some high school fantasy?
425
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,971
It sure seems that way.
426
00:19:36,407 --> 00:19:37,941
Thanks, Becker.
427
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,442
Oh, I'm sorry.
428
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:43,080
I'm just manifesting
my own deep-seeded insecurities.
429
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:47,151
I know this because
some psycho bum told me so.
430
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,454
JAKE:
You know, you two have got to stop beating yourselves up.
431
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,956
Come on, Reggie,
you got to spend some time
432
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,526
with an old flame,
you had a couple of laughs.
433
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,062
It's not your fault
that he turned out to be a jerk.
434
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,829
And think about it.
Now he's in jail.
435
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:03,200
Now, if that isn't payback,
what is?
436
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,369
You know what, Jake?
You're right.
437
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,738
Thank you.
438
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,775
Got anything for me?
439
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:15,979
As a matter of fact, I do.
440
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,582
Now, you're jealous of this
wrinkle cream guy, right?
441
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,417
Well, you have
every right to be.
442
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:21,751
Think about it.
443
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,920
You're not rich,
you're not famous,
444
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,223
you never do anything,
you never go anywhere.
445
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,526
You don't have a girlfriend.
You live in a rat hole--
446
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,394
How is this helping?
447
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,395
Well, don't you see, John?
448
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,396
Your life is crap.
449
00:20:34,164 --> 00:20:37,835
If anyone has a right
to be jealous, it's you.
450
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,070
You know something,
you're right.
451
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:44,108
Most people couldn't stand
even one day of my life.
452
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,043
Thanks, buddy.
453
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,711
Hey. My pleasure.
454
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:48,845
( upbeat blues theme playing )
455
00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:54,952
( upbeatblues theme playing )
456
00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:59,552
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