All language subtitles for Bad Girls s05e05.eng

Shut up. Get in.

- 'Merriman's escaped.'
- Shit!

G Wing. Hardly an advert
for the penal system.

Are you managing
any other women's prisons?

Not yet.

l've been thinking about
what the voices were saying...

About what, specifically?

Well, romance and money
would sort of sum it up.

She's been talking
about getting a new man.

With a white collar.
Written in the stars, apparently.

- Get him away from my kid.
- l'm not doing nothing. Right?

Bullshit. He wants sex
in front of a little baby.

''Dear Sir or Madam.

''My client, Buki Lester,
has instructed me to sue you

''for the theft of her child,
Lennox Lester, called Winston.''

Hand him over. Come on.

- You what?
- Better get the baby out.

The nutter tried to suffocate her own kid.

- You lying bastard!
- You were caught red-handed.

Get off me. Ritchie!

Just stick to what you wrote
in your report.

Dockley's a liar.
No one will believe her crap.

- Except we're the liars.
- Excuse me?

Dockley was trying to protect
her baby, not kill it.

Word of advice, Bambi.
Don't shit a bullshitter.

You're just sorry you lost a tart.

Remember who ballsed it up, mate. You.

lf it wasn't for me,
we'd both be in the shit.

So give it a rest with the guilt trip.

We've done that kid a favour.

Would you want Dockley for a mother?

You've got to be careful, Neil.

After that car incident,
Gnasher could do anything.

So l put my life on hold
because of some coward

with a poison pen and spray paint?

Well, what else can you do if you don't
want to be run through the shredder?

l can do something.
l can find out who it is.

What kind of threatening messages?

- Referring to my sexuality.
- Saying what, exactly?

Do l need to paint a picture?

l'm a pervert. l'm going
to get what's coming to me.

l knew Di had some sort of problem,
but now it's your arse they're after?

This isn't funny, Jim.

Sorry, it's just a figure of speech.

Di thinks it could be a PO.

Well, don't look at me.
This is kindergarten stuff.

l wouldn't waste my time.

Not when l've got my job to worry about.

Let me know if you hear any whispers.

- l hear Dockley's been shipped out.
- Good news travels fast.

l'm surprised you look at it that way.

You're gonna lose a lot of pocket money.

l'd be careful, Atkins.
That kind of talk causes trouble.

Well, you've made sure Dockley
won't cause any more.

Blame me if you want, but l wasn't
the one in the cell when it all kicked off.

Still, l know whose word
l'd take over Dockley's.

Morning, girls. Out you come.

ls it true Shell's been shipped out?

lt was for her own good, Denny.
And her baby's.

What do you mean?
Where've they sent her?

- Fossmoor.
- What?

That's a frigging muppet house!

There was an incident.
She tried to kill her baby.

- No way, man.
- ls the baby all right?

He's fine. He'll be
with foster parents by now.

This doesn't make sense.
Shell ain't that much of a nutter.

l'm sorry, Denny. She obviously had
more problems than you knew about.

That bitch ought to rot
for the rest of her life.

This is bullshit. Shell loved that kid.
No way she wanted to lose him.

You have no idea what goes on
in a psycho's head.

You're the kind of psycho
that gets rid of her baby, innit?

You were in Dockley's cell
when she took off.

What's it to you?

l just wondered...how come a mum who
so looked forward to having her baby

tries to kill it inside 24 hours?

l don't know, Atkins,
but l know what l saw.

Do you?

That baby was in danger,
so watch your lip.

You don't have to justify yourself to me,
sir. l'm just a con.

But l do know something made
Dockley as mad as hell.

Or she'd never have harmed her baby.

And if l find out somebody else did,
l'll have his bollocks for earrings.

Who the hell do you think
you're talking to?

Fisher!

- Oh, er, Reverend Mills!
- Sylvia. Good morning.

l was hoping l might bump into you.

lt's just... l hope you don't mind
my asking,

but you've been such a good friend
since Bobby passed away.

You've helped me realise that there is
life after death. For me, l mean.

Bobby will always be there for you.

l know. But not tonight.
l need a man with muscle.

- l'm sorry?
- To help me move into my new flat.

You've decided to go for the apartment?

Mayfair's not really my cup of tea, but
l suppose beggars can't be choosers.

l'd be happier lodging with
somebody who needs the company.

What time would you
like me to come round?

Come on, you fat cow. l want my letter!

You only wrote to
social services a few days ago.

You know what they're like -
slug on bleedin' holiday.

Not if it's on fake solicitors' paper.
Be wetting themselves.

- Have you got something for me?
- No.

- You sure?
- Yes, Lester.

Unless you want a rule 47
for obstructing me.

l'm going back into a cell on my own
today. Maybe you'd like to pop by later?

- l could hide you from Bodybag.
- l'm not safe anywhere.

Now she wants me to help her move.

That woman's become
an absolute parasite.

You've got to stop her using you.

l heard a baby screaming and looked in.
l thought the mother might have left it.

lnstead, l saw Dockley
standing over it with a pillow.

Just when we thought
we were getting through to her.

Post-natal depression.

You're an expert, are you, Colin?

- Well, you read about it.
- Dockley was distressed.

Sufficient to require restraints.

Yet by all accounts, including Di's,
she was happy as anything.

l'm not saying she knew
what she was doing.

We all know how made up she was
over the kid, but if her hormones...

lt's not clear from your report
why you were on the hospital wing at all.

l was looking for Jim Fenner.

l think we should thank God he was,

or it wouldn't be a case
of attempted infanticide.

- Thank you, Colin. Good work.
- (Colin) Sir.

Sorry, Neil, but l'm not happy with this.

Dockley convinced me
that she cared about her kids.

That's for Fossmoor to decide now.

We need to find a strategy for
G Wing's other problem prisoner.

Well?

Number one believes me at least.

You've got nothing to worry about, then.

WE'VE got nothing to worry about, Jim.

You're as deep as me. Deeper. Right?

Are you threatening me?

Cos it's not my name on that report.

l only went along with what you said...

as a trusting colleague.

Don't start what you can't finish, matey,
or l'll fry you for breakfast.

Look, l just wondered who tipped Atkins
off it was me who told it.

Atkins?

She knows more of what goes on
in here than bloody God, mate.

You do know who she is?

Some bitch con
who's pushing her luck with me.

That's Mrs Charlie Atkins.

- Gangland boss?
- The dead gangland boss.

And if she can bump him off
and get away with it...

What do you do with someone
who'll poison herself to escape?

ln my view, we have only two options.

We either put her on psychiatric
and give her the liquid cosh,

or we try something left of field.

Come to have a gawp at the freak show?

- ls this necessary?
- lt's what we were told.

l'm telling you to get her out of them.

- Do it.
- Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.
You don't know how l've prayed.

Save the dramatics
and listen carefully, Merriman.

Your only hope of stopping this
treatment is to accept your sentence.

Otherwise, trust me, you'll be plotting
your escape plans in a secure hospital.

Understand what l'm saying?

l understand what God's
saying to me, in here.

lt's where l am with Ritchie. Not outside.

That's how we'll prove
how strong our love is.

Don't kid me l've got a hope in hell of
convincing you lot. Not for 20 years.

Give her a shower and fresh clothes
and bring her to my office.

Merriman, l'm going to make you
my orderly.

Your orderly? Are you mad?

Well, boyfriend's in hospital
for the foreseeable future.

Where's she gonna run without him?
l know what l'm doing.

Working on the admin block will keep her
away from the others, give her structure.

l wish l had your faith in her.

Can you come up with a better idea?

lt won't be my problem for much longer.

Linford Securities can sort her out.

Watch what she puts in your coffee.

£500?

Oh, that's very, erm...reasonable.

And l have to say, it is a lovely flat.

A month in advance and
another month as deposit, of course.

l'll make sure it goes
into your account today.

Super.

Are you, er...planning a housewarming?

Well, just a little something.
Quiet and intimate.

l have your word this is
just between the three of us?

l don't want people to get
the wrong idea.

- Nor do we.
- Mum's the word.

lt's clear to see that you two are
a cut above the other riffraff in here.

To return a small favour,
an ice bucket would come in handy.

l've already secured gardening jobs
for you.

For which we're very grateful
to you, of course.

But l do prefer my tonic water chilled.

- All right?
- (Groans)

Frigging social services
don't answer to no one.

Making my little boy do time.

Here, have a butcher's.
Got it off the lnternet.

- What's that?
- A list of children's homes in London.

Your little Lennox will be in one of them.

Wicked! l'll write to them all.
l'm bound to find him.

Hey! Bugger snail mail, girl. Get ringing!

(Knock at door)

Oh. Er...thank you.

l can't tell you how much
l appreciate this chance, sir.

Yeah, l hope you do. l meant what l said.
There are no others after this.

l won't let you down, Mr Grayling.
That's a promise.

Let's take it one step at a time, shall we?

ls there anything you'd like me
to do next? Just say the word.

Well, some new pencils would be useful.

Ask my secretary.

- You could water the plants.
- Yes, sir.

Right away.

Over to you.

Let's hope you get lucky this time.

l've nearly run out of phonecards.

Cheers, man.

Did you get through to Ritchie?

They've got him up and about
in a wheelchair.

Still, he's got a better life waiting
than Buki's little boy.

Have you told him
he's got a new sister yet?

Best tell him when l see him
face to face, yeah?

Oi, screw!

Shell didn't give you
what you were after?

- Careful, Blood.
- You were there. l ain't stupid.

You are, and you'll end up on report
if you keep up with this shit-slinging.

l suppose you've put me
on report already.

No. lt's understandable that
you're upset about another mum.

- So l've decided to forget it.
- l haven't.

Look, l'm telling the truth
about Dockley and her kid.

lt looks ugly but it's the truth.

l know you're top dog in here,
but l don't want trouble.

My God. The grovelling bloody screw.

That just proves you're as guilty as sin.

- Are you sure you've got everything?
- lt's all in storage apart from this.

Well, this is it.

After all these years.

Our little nest of dreams.

Bye-bye.

(Jangling)

l'm sorry.

lt's only a house, l know. (Sniffs)

lt feels like l've shut the door
on a whole chapter of my life.

You're about to open a new one now.
ln Mayfair, no less.

What are we waiting for?

Let's get moving.

No leads on Gnasher, then?

Well, at least l'm sure it's not Jim Fenner.

Probably best to stay in tonight, though.

l'll cook something from
the freezer and pick a film up.

(Unenthused) Sounds wonderful.

Sylvia, this is amazing!

But l thought you had no money.
Must be costing a fortune.

Er, no. lt belongs to a friend, actually.

He's out of the country for a few months
and asked me to look after it.

You're so well-connected!

Oh, yes. He's, erm...
He's an advisor to the government.

- Really?
- Yes.

lt's surprising the people
you meet ballroom dancing.

So it seems!

Little music, that's what this place needs.

Make it feel more like home.

Oh, goodness me!

lt's quite nice, though, isn't it?

l'm on something of a tight schedule.

Maybe l could nip out while you settle in.

Get a few odds and ends from the shop.
Milk, bread, that sort of thing.

You are so thoughtful, Henry.

But l've got the contents
of my fridge in that bag.

- Well, then, erm...
- Just get us a bottle of wine.

For a little toast.

- Did you enjoy that?
- Yeah, it was great.

lt's much better than going out, isn't it?

Not when l can cook you
all your favourites.

Don't have to listen to others chatter.

On the other hand, there's the advantage
of eating with who l like.

Di, you're a great cook.

ln many respects, you're a fantastic wife.

l want to be a fantastic mother as well.

A child?
You're talking about us having a child?

What's so terrible about it?

lt's natural to want children,
even for you.

- You're joking, obviously.
- You're gay, Neil, you're not an alien.

lt doesn't mean
you don't have human needs.

Like being a father.

This isn't about my needs - all l need
is a sensitive bloke with a strong grip.

What's the deal with you and Grayling?
Anyone else l'd say you were shagging.

There's no deal.
Just playing it straight now.

Yeah? Well, l'm Julie Andrews.
Go on, get in there.

What the hell's she doing back?

Not my call, Atkins. lf it was, l'd put her
in a cage with a sack on her head.

One thing's for sure. These new bastards
couldn't do a worse job than you lot.

(Cocktail jazz)

- (Woman) Sick bitch!
- (2nd woman) Slag!

You're on your own, slut! Burn her cage.

- (Merriman) Yvonne! Yvonne!
- (Shouting continues)

l know you can hear me.
l've got to know how Ritchie is.

- How do you expect?
- (Woman) Won't want you now!

His girlfriend killed everything
south of his belt buckle!

Please! Please, just tell me!

(Merriman) Yvonne?

Piss off!

(Woman) Oi! Shut it!

(Key turning in lock)

Come in, Henry, don't be shy.

l'm in here, Henry.

(Screams)

Right, you two. l hope
you've got a good explanation.

l've never been so humiliated
in my entire life.

What do you mean?

- Flying squad burst in on me in the bath!
- What?

They had me down the station
half the night like a criminal.

Why didn't you tell me the flat had
an alarm connected to the police?

- An alarm?
- What alarm?

l must have been out of my mind
to trust two cons.

There's no need to fall out.

lt's obviously been installed
in our absence for some reason.

We'll give our managing agents
a call and sort it out.

You'd better. lf my gentleman friend
hadn't been able to vouch for me,

l could have ended up
a prisoner in my own prison.

Shit.

lf there was an alarm, why didn't it go off
when she looked around?

Well...she'd only have been
there a few minutes.

You know how useless the police are.

When they turned up,
she'd have been long gone.

This was going to be such a nice scam.

We have to think of a way to sort this out
without it costing us.

Mm.

What the hell's going on with Merriman?

- Orders from above.
- Oh.

Straight off the block into a nice
cushy job making tea and crumpets?

What did she do - stick the gun
up Grayling's arse?

Keep out of it, Yvonne. lf anything
happens, l won't look the other way.

How'd you get on
with them kids' homes, then?

Like shit. Every one l ring up
don't wanna talk to me.

They think l'm a nutter or a nonce.
Don't care l'm Lennox's mum!

You have to pretend to be
somebody else.

- What do you mean?
- l've been thinking about it.

Your little Lennox,
he's got this CMT disease.

What do little 'uns like him need?

A wheelchair.

l had no option but to offer her a bed.

- What?
- ln the guest room.

There wasn't anything else l could do.

She's obviously getting
the wrong idea about you.

You're going to have to be cruel
if you want to be kind.

So how was it, Sylv?
Your first night in Mayfair?

Actually, l had to spend the night
at Henry's

because there was
a bit of a mix-up with the flat keys.

Oh, yeah?
Where did you hide them, then?

Oh, you cheeky devil! (Laughs)

l bet you won't even bother
to try and find them.

lt's much too early
to start talking like that.

But l don't mind telling you,
if ever a man was my Sir Galahad...

Hot enough for bikinis in here!

Well, enough to die of thirst
for a large G&T.

- Oh, ice and a slice.
- (Laughs) Too nice!

You know, this place
would be perfect for a still.

What?

To brew our own booze, Bev.

My pa's old batman taught me
all the tricks out in Saudi.

lt's a piece of piss
to set up a basic bucket job.

Just need to do a bit of bartering.

Phyl, l could kiss your feet
and sing hosannas.

So, have you managed to sort
things out with the flat

or should l go to the police cells tonight?

We spoke to our managing agents.

They took it upon themselves to install
the alarm after a spate of burglaries.

They've also let the flat to someone else,
from this weekend.

- What?
- According to our instructions.

But unbeknown to us.

We're sorry, but normal communications
are scuppered when one is in prison.

But...But l've already paid my deposit!

lf another property was available,
we'd let you have it rent free, but none is.

Well, in that case, l want
my money back immediately.

Of course. Just give us
your bank account details.

Are you kidding?

How else can we arrange a transfer?

There's nothing else in it
we can con you out of, is there?

- Are you sure this will work?
- Just try it, Buki, yeah?

Here, it's ringing. Go on.

Hello? Hello, l'm calling
from...Speedy Wheelchairs.

We've got a wheelchair designed
special for children with CMT

and l was wondering if you had... CMT.

Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease.

You don't? Forget it, then.

No, Buki. That's a result, yeah? That
means that your Lennox isn't with them.

- Right?
- Yeah, right.

What we need is some clingfilm
and a large...

(Clears throat) Bogey at six o'clock.

l'll expect to be back in funds
by tomorrow morning.

Oh. Can l do her horoscope now?

Anyway, saucepan, clingfilm,
plus sugar, fruit and yeast?

You're after some rot gut, eh?

No, it's for an organic beauty
preparation. Face mask.

lt will draw out some
of the grime from this place.

l'm sure that Bev would be happy to give
free tarot readings in exchange.

Or a portrait of your children.

Look, l ain't got no yeast.

You'll have to blag the tabs off the nurse.

But l'll see what l can put
in a bag by the wheelie bins.

Thanks, Julie.

(Door opens)

Oh, Sylvia.

l'm sorry. l didn't mean to intrude.

You're not.

l...l wanted to talk to you.

(Excitedly) Oh, did you?

That's nice. Why?

lt's just that...

l know that as a man of the cloth,

l should be comfortable
handling emotional matters,

but the truth is, when it's
something as delicate as this,

something as personal,
well, l go to pieces a little.

Oh, Henry.

You lovely man.

- Don't be shy.
- No, Sylvia!

(Clattering)

- Well, this is the limit!
- Get out, Hunt!

- So you can molest him?
- So l can what?

- Barbara!
- l tripped, that's all.

You've been following him
like a schoolgirl.

l've done no such thing. How dare you!

Just a minute.

- You can hear.
- Yes, l can. Perfectly.

And there have been times
when l couldn't believe my ears.

- You devious...
- Ladies, please. We are in God's house.

You've been spying on me.
Lying through your teeth.

lt's a pity you can't read the signs when
a man's telling you he's not interested!

l only wanted to help you...as a friend.

Nothing more.

l don't know where you've both
got these ludicrous ideas from.

And my poor Bobby
not cold in his grave.

Hunt, if l hear a whisper
of this nonsense on the wing,

you can kiss your parole goodbye!

l wondered if there was any kids with
CMT who might need our wheelchair?

A little boy? Well, how old is he?

Yes!

lt's him. l've found him. lt's Lennox!

l said you would!

l assume the telephone's
public property again?

l gotta write to him, tell him
he's got a mum who loves him,

that everything will be OK.

We can get one of the works guys
to post it tonight.

(Sobbing)

Sylvia?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

l've lost me husband, lost me house,

l'll probably lose me job
when this Linford bunch get here,

l'll have to sleep on my daughter's couch
tonight and she doesn't want me,

never mind if my nerves can stand
the noise of small boys.

l'd be better off alongside my Bobby.

Dead in the ground.

- You mustn't talk like that.
- (Sniffs)

What's happened to your flat?

l've been gazumped.

Can't you carry on staying with Henry?

l thought you two were getting on well?

Not any more.

He's not the man l thought.

lt's all finished.

Everything's turned rotten
on me. l can't trust anybody.

And Hunt being deaf, even that's an act.

Why don't you come and stay with
me and Neil for a few days?

Till you find somewhere else?

Oh, no, l couldn't.

A couple of newlyweds like you.

You wouldn't want me in the way.

l wouldn't offer if l didn't mean it, Sylv.

And l'm the governor at home.

Thank you.

lf you're wondering where the
chocolate wafers are, there aren't any.

- Your secretary ate them all.
- Hm?

l'm not a grass, l just didn't
want you to think it were me.

Right. Thank you, Merriman.

Only l'd never do anything
like that. Give you me word.

lf l do, l'll never get
permission for Ritchie to visit me.

You've got a lot to prove
before l grant you that.

And any future visits will take place
under strictly closed conditions.

Do you fancy going out tonight?

Aren't you worried
Gnasher might see me?

You'll be all right if you're with me.

l want to talk about something.

No, Di, l am not giving you the
opportunity to talk babies at me all night.

l've got plans.

- Like going on another manhunt?
- Do you really wanna know?

So you're just going to ignore
these threats?

Yeah, that's right.

l was thinking, when we escape,

why don't we jump on
the Orient Express to Venice?

Oh, that would be wonderful!

Might make up for having
to put back the wedding.

The Church of England's
stupid regulations.

l don't want to lose my job.
l'm breaking all the rules.

And l don't want to pretend
we've just met.

Would they rather we lived in sin
than were honest? lt's total hypocrisy.

You're absolutely right.

Why should we wait?
Why don't we get married there?

- Make it our honeymoon.
- ln Venice?

- Oh, Henry.
- Just the two of us.

Lock-up in two minutes.
Fill your flask, Hunt.

(Woman) Rot in piss, Merriman!

(2nd woman) Sick bitch!

(3rd woman) Go frig yourself, slag!

(4th woman) Yeah,
go and play with yourself.

Yvonne, please, listen to me.

l know l've hurt Ritchie,
but l love him, you know l do.

You know how much he needs me.

He'll be desperate,
waiting to hear from me.

You've got to help me get a letter to him.

Forget it, Scarface.

lf you're gonna let him suffer even more,
just because of your stupid pride...

Nice gaff!

Shh! Shh!

You'll wake the lodger.

You'd better give me something
to shut me up, then.

(Men giggling)

(Neil) Stop it... No, no, no!

(Giggling continues)

You have a nice time last night?

Pretty good, yeah.

You really wanted me to hear,
didn't you?

Morning.

- Tony, this is Di.
- Oh, your lodger. Hi, Di.

l am not the sodding lodger!
For your information, l'm his bloody wife!

And l didn't sleep a wink
listening to you two. All night!

- Tea or coffee, Tony?
- l'll just grab a cab. Nice to meet you.

Tony, wait!

Wait!

(Door closes)

- Thank you very much.
- What do you expect?

You knew exactly what to expect
when you married me.

You can't treat me like l don't exist.

As far as my sex life is concerned,
you don't.

This is my house, and l will do
what l bloody well like in it!

Yeah? Well, it's my car so you can ride
your bike to bloody work.

And l'll be bringing a friend over tonight.

Quite a few nights, actually.

Great. You finally found
yourself a boyfriend?

l mean Sylvia.

Just a minute, you two.
l'm still waiting for that money.

Are you? Oh, dear. l'll call them again.

You know what banks are like
once they get your money.

l know what cons are like when they do.

lf it's not there soon, you can kiss
goodbye to your gardening jobs.

Yeah, hello? l was wondering,
little Winston.

Did he get the letter l sent him
yesterday?

Yeah. l'm his mum.

What?

What do you mean?

Hey! l'm talking to you, bitch!

Buki.

- Jesus!
- (Knock at door)

About before.

l've a meeting.
l haven't time for a row.

l'm not here for a row.

lt's just that Sylvia's coming tonight and
l don't want her walking into a war zone.

That is, if you are still
coming home tonight?

Yes. l won't be going out.

Good.

So, you're not seeing Tony tonight,
then?

No.

Don't mess my papers up.
They're ready for Bostock.

- Look, about Sylvia...
- She's got nowhere to go.

l said she could stay
until she gets herself sorted.

She's really looking forward to it,
so l want you to be nice to her.

She's been through enough.

l am not a bloody waifs-and-strays home.

A bit of give and take. That's all
l'm asking, Neil. lt won't be for long.

- (Phone)
- lt had better not be.

Just as well you got your oats
last night, then.

Yes? Two minutes.
Di, l really need to crack on.

OK, see you later.

Can't wait.

You put in a lot of detective work.

lt was inevitable
we'd monitor one of the calls.

He's my little boy, miss. l want him back.

l understand, Buki,
but you know it's not possible.

You can't go harassing the care staff.

l know those places.

What if it's like where l was?
What if someone's hurting him?

Stop fantasising and start
being honest with yourself.

Even if you weren't in prison,
how would you manage,

looking after a child with his condition?

Do you know anything about CMT?

lt means he's stuck
in a wheelchair, innit?

Not necessarily.

He could get better?

You should find out about it
before you leap to conclusions.

Then, one day, if Lennox wants to meet
you, you'll be much better prepared.

Are you gonna help me find out about it?

Are you gonna stop
this stupid act and let me?

(Phone)

Well, whoever this Linford lot are,

they'll need experienced people
to run this dump.

Oh, dear, how clumsy!

Now you'll have to start
all over again with a fresh bucket.

Seem a bit twitchy, Sylv.
First in, aren't you?

l thought it was supposed to be
an informal chat.

Well, you could treat it like meeting
a mate down the pub if you like.

You should be up there, shouldn't you?

l've had more than 20 years'
experience in this uniform.

l don't suppose they've got anything
but a certificate in business studies.

There's only one way to run a prison -
like Alcatraz, not flaming Asda.

(Sylvia) Oh, there's no doubt in my mind.

Linford Securities will be
the best thing for Larkhall.

Do you think so? Why is that?

Well, l've always prided myself on
seeing my work as a vocation, not a job,

which means the girls think of me
as a mother as well as a jailer, you know.

But it seems to me that too many in the
service cling to more Victorian values.

l think it's time we had some fresh ideas.

Exactly. New blood.

You've been here quite a long time,
haven't you?

- Considering retirement?
- Me?

l have the body of a 30-year-old
under this uniform.

(Cell door slams)

Now...you're married
to number one governor.

Yes, l am. We're very happy.

l'm sure you are.
But doesn't it pose problems?

What sort of problems?

Well, coming home,
talking shop all night.

No, we don't really talk shop.

- (Cell door slams)
- This is just a friendly chat?

That's right.

Then maybe you can clarify
something for me.

- Prisoner numbers go up, so do profits.
- Go on.

There are already women that shouldn't
be here. The majority, if you ask me.

So why would privatisation work
better for even more of them?

- Frankly, it's a dysfunctional system.
- Then why are you in it?

Must still be kidding myself
l can change it.

(Laughs)

Well, you certainly know the job, Jim.

Yeah, l've seen it all, pretty much. Mind
you, l reckon you never stop learning.

You were injured by one of the women.
Took guts to come back.

Oh, that was an isolated incident.

On the whole, if you're fair with
the women, they play straight by you.

Rules is rules,
but jailcraft gets the job done.

You're not applying for your job,
but the wing governor's.

Well, it's my old job. l want it back.

There were some, erm, internal politics.
Differences with management.

- They walked the short plank, not me.
- l see.

l don't think l could do a worse job
than the current boss.

l see.

lt's a lovely house, Di.

You're very lucky.

Yeah, l know.

Miss Betts said l should
find out more about CMT.

Only l was thinking, what use is
just finding out about it?

What would really help
is raising some money.

Yeah, we could do a sponsored run.

Yeah, from here to Dover!

Good idea, Buki.

l think we should do our bit
for charity as well.

Well, which one did you have in mind?

Us, of course.

May we have a moment of your time?

What is it?

We've been hearing
about young Buki's boy.

We were wondering about
setting up a project.

What sort of project?

We thought we might build
a motorised wheelchair for him.

You two?

Have we said something funny?

You don't strike me
as the engineering type.

My father was an engineer
in the army. lt's in the blood.

My second husband was in motor racing.

Over the years, l have had more oil
sprayed over me than l have Chanel.

We thought the girls could get involved.

You know, teach them new skills,
and do a bit of good at the same time.

Think what you need and let me know.

OK, that's lock-up, everybody.

Yeah? What do you want?

Stop looking at me
like something you trod in.

Think you smell sweeter
now you've rolled in it?

l never set out to split
Dockley up from her kid.

l've got a boy myself.
l know what it's like.

You want me to feel sorry for you now?

No. Just don't go thinking you know me.
My whole family were crooks.

Dad nicking and drinking,
sister on the game.

l got pushed to stay at school,
help Mum fiddle her benefits.

So l got to choose this side of the bars.

Look, why are you telling me this?

Like l'd give a toss?

You'd better ring the Samaritans.

So l said to Mr Bostock, l said...

there is no substitute
for experience in this job.

You can have ideas
about running prisons,

but it's on the landings that it counts.

l'm sure he was very impressed.

Well, l think it's bad luck
to count your chickens, Neil,

but l have every confidence.

l'm glad someone does.

Well, l couldn't eat another thing.

Are you sure?

My Bobby used to say my steak pie
would turn a Buddhist.

(Laughs) Delicious, but l'm quite full.

Me, too.

Well, if you two want an early night,

you'll see what a good steak and kidney
does for your love life.

(Laughs) Sylvia!

My mother said you only get out
of a man what you put in.

And you'll need to be a red-blooded male

the rate her body clock's ticking,
won't you? (Laughs)

- Good night, Sylvia.
- Good night.

Oh, by the way.

l was admiring your leather
cowboy trousers in the wardrobe.

l didn't realise you were
into line dancing as well.

l'm not. lt's just fancy dress.

Oh, and don't worry,
l'm a very heavy sleeper, so...

(whispering) just carry on as usual.

This was a plot, wasn't it?
To get into my bed.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Forget it, Di.

Sylvia's right, though.

- My clock is ticking.
- So's my clubbing clock.

The sooner your alarm goes off,
the better.

l have given up everything
for you with this marriage, Neil.

The least you can do is give me a baby.

lf you can't bear to touch me,
we don't have to do it.

There's artificial insemination.

For Christ's sake, l'm not a prize bull!
You're obsessed!

- Shh! She'll hear you.
- l don't care if she does!

Right now l feel like telling
the whole world, ''l'm gay!''

Anything's better than
this bloody sham of living with you!

Who's been a naughty boy, then?

l couldn't handle having a kid
someone else would bring up.

No, not yours, Tony. His.

Lots of women get pregnant this way.

All you have to do
is collect the raw materials.

Will you help me?

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