All language subtitles for Awkward s05e08 An Indecent Promposal.eng

Previously on Awkward...

Love is dead, and I killed it.

Well, you fired the gun.

I really messed things up with us.

We were really good
together. What are you saying?

- I miss the way we were.
- I love Matty.

What did you want to tell me so bad?

Would I ever forgive myself
for letting Matty go?

I couldn't stop thinking
about my dinner with Matty.

Sure, I had done the mature thing

by not telling him that I loved him,

but being mature felt a
lot like being miserable.

It didn't help that it
was the most romantic time

- of the high school year:
- _

promposal season.

_

Well, some promposals were
more romantic than others.

Either way, all they did
was constantly remind me

that I would never have my
perfect prom with Matty.

Because of me.

Ugh, I just have to keep
my head down, blinders on.

_

[yelps]

[crowd gasps]

Sorry.

Hope she says yes.

[keys clacking]

Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com

I get home and Val's lying on the couch.

- Really?
- Just like last week.

But again? Why does she do that?

That is really Cr...

What the?

- Oh, who's it from?
- _

Sorry, not for you.

Watch your aim, a-hole.

A paper airplane? Seriously?
Talk about amateur hour.

His parents are probably
driving him to prom.

All promposals are amateur hour.

Promposal? What idiot
made up that word anyway?

I always thought it was you.

Despite being known for
my cutting-edge wordplay,

Jenna, no, I did not.

I would never compare a
prom ask to a proposal.

Real proposals are amazing.

If anyone actually proposed
with a paper airplane,

they'd be kicked to the curb to die alone.

Looked like Tamara was stuck
in promposal hell, too.

She was clearly
still sad about Adam.

We were both in a nightmare
of our own making.

But was there a way
for me to break out?

So, I was thinking about
maybe asking Matty to prom,

as friends.

What? What's wrong?

You. You're wrong. Do
you even hear yourself?

What?

Your name is Jenna, and you're
an addict... a Matty addict.

Come on, I'm not addicted to Matty.

You're practically shaking
from Matty withdrawal.

You did the right thing at dinner.

If you go to prom with him, you'll relapse

and start mainlining Matty.

Okay, don't you think
you're being a tad dramatic?

It's no big deal. Not a big deal?

Let me paint a prom
portrait for you, Jenna.

You and Matty go as "just friends"

and then the first Adele ballad in,

you start spilling your
feelings, you make out,

and then you start dating.

Ooh, hooray! No, not hooray.

All summer long, the dark
cloud of long distance

will loom over you and you'll be stressing

so you'll get in tons of fights.

Then, you'll be at Wyckoff in Maine,

and Matty will be at Berkeley.

You'll fly cross-country on the weekends,

therefore you won't be making
any friends at your new school,

and then when Matty
finally does come visit you,

he'll go snowboarding, he'll break his leg,

and he'll be walking with a limp.

Not only have you ruined his soccer career,

but everyone will call him Matty McLimpin'.

All because you shared
your feelings at prom.

Don't do it. Put down the drug.

You need to go straight
from AA directly to Triple A:

Avoid, Avoid, Avoid.

Get out of my way!

_

Tamara had painted a
terrifying picture,

and as much as I hated to
admit it, she was right.

Matty was my drug of choice
and I had to go cold turkey.

Hey. How did dinner with Jenna go?

- Dinner wasn't what I expected.
- What do you mean?

I don't know, man, I think I
totally misread her signals.

So what about prom?

She pretty much shut that idea down.

She probably wants to
go with somebody else.

Sucks.

Sorry, dude. So who are you gonna ask?

Well, it's funny you should mention that.

Jacob, will you go to prom with me?

Yes, Matthew.

Seriously, come on, you've got to go.

I know. I'll figure it out.

Sort of confused about
lots of stuff right now.

I hear ya. I can't believe
I didn't commit to a college.

But why would I want to go
into enormous student debt

for a school that I'm not excited about?

You know one of the colleges
I got into used to be a prison?

Yikes.

I was thinking about
maybe taking a gap year.

- Is that crazy?
- No, that sounds rad.

Don't settle on a school
you're not psyched about.

And, if you take a gap year,

you can come to Berkeley
and party all the time.

Yeah!

Berkeley's right by Stanford and Gabby,

so gap year could be perfect.

[pop music]

[phone rings]

- Ugh, I hate her.
- Who?

- Forget it.
- Okay.

So I still need to talk to
you about the food truck.

What, is there a bratwurst emergency?

I can't really think about

that moving health code
violation right now.

But I...

Sergio, what I'm trying to say is,

I couldn't give less of a
[bleep] about the food truck.

I have real-life actual
problems to worry about.

I have to get to class.

Hey, it's Sergio.

Yeah. I'm in.

Hey, what are we doing for prom?

We?

Actually, I just meant me and Cole.

That is, will you go to prom with me?

What? Prom? What's next, moving in?

Are you guys lesbians?

I didn't know you could hit rock-bottom

after only dating for eight days.

Yeah, prom is the gateway
drug to basic-ness.

One second you're saying
"yes" to prom, the next,

you're posting inspirational
quotes on Facebook.

"Keep Calm and Carry on!"

"Dance like nobody's watching!"

Tell me how you really feel, Cole.

Ugh, who does Namas-gay think you are?

Some kind of brainless prom-zombie?

Yeah. Totally.

As president and therefore
head of prom committee,

I have to give this
stupid survey to find out

what people want the theme
for stupid prom to be.

And why is Hamil-uggs hovering around you?

- Hoping for a pity ask?
- I'm helping her.

Yeah, so I don't have to deal
with this prom-ssignment alone.

Anyway, the choices
are, Under the Sea, Y2K,

Disco Madness, and Surf's Up Cowabunga.

Those are the stupidest
themes I've ever heard.

Who came up with this, a bunch
of monkeys on typewriters?

We all know they're lame, so just pick one.

It doesn't matter anyway. Prom sucks.

- Really?
- Yeah.

The only thing worse than not going

with Matty to prom would be
going with Matty to prom.

It was killing me, but I had
to pretend that I didn't care.

What the hell are you guys talking about?

Prom is the most important
event of our senior year

before graduation.

Embrace it. Go with someone you love.

Not all of us are in love, you cloying sap.

You don't have to be in love.

You don't even have to be dating.

Just someone you do love.

It's a celebration of
our four years together.

Hear, hear.

I see you talking, Jake, but all I hear is,

"Wah wah wah wah wah," like
Charlie Brown's teacher.

I can't believe your attitude!

You are the head of the prom committee!

Show a little respect!

Do you want to do it?

Be my guest.

Go with someone you love?

That is exactly what is wrong with prom.

It is an enforced romantic
Hallmark faux-liday

for high school.

I mean, you're expected to drop
tons of cash on a dress, limo,

tickets, and dinner
just to dance in a Ramada

off the freeway?

90% of the prom-going public

expect Pretty in Pink
and they get Carrie.

And who profits?

- Dry cleaners?
- The big corporations.

It's the prom industrial complex.

I wish I could just opt
out of the whole thing.

Like how you can sign up
on the "do not call" list

for telemarketers.

There should be a "do not ask" list.

Jenna, that is I Dream of Genius.

We should totes make a "Do Not Ask."

We can put it on the wall
in the senior hallway.

And if you sign it, everyone
will know you're off-limits.

No one should be forced
to go to this farce.

Do Not Ask was the perfect solution.

I wouldn't have to worry
about going or not going

to prom with Matty, because
I wouldn't be going.

No Matty and no prom-blems.

Congrats, Jenna, although
you've always been my queen.

Huh?

The prom court nominees are up!

Being nominated for prom queen

meant that for me, "Do Not Ask"
had turned into a "Have to Go."

So much for that plan.

Being on prom court with Matty

would have been sophomore
Jenna's dream come true.

Hell, Jenna-until-two-days-
ago's dream come true.

And the irony was that I was
the one keeping us apart.

Okay, so everyone pair into
couples for the group photo.

Remember, it's for the school newspaper,

so don't look, like, weird.

Well, would it be so bad if
we just posed as a couple?

Hey, want to be posers together?

Always.

I love how you're the
perfect height for my arm.

Nope, couldn't do it. Felt too good.

He's too cute. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

This isn't working. Hey, let's switch.

- We belong together, Jenna.
- Sure, Kyle.

I hated to be a snob,
but it was kind of weird

that Kyle was on prom court.

Hey, Kyle. Lookin' good, bro.

Oh, no. Kyle was
nominated as a joke.

Poor guy. He stuck
out like a sore thumb.

Everyone else on prom
court was popular.

Everyone except me.

Four kings, four
queens, and two jokers.

Okay, everyone say, "Prom Fairyland."

All: Prom Fairyland.

Avoid the tyranny of prom

that corporate America is
forcing on you, sheeple.

Sign up.

Nice dress. Except you have a stain on it.

What? Where?

It's from the prom Kool-Aid
you've been drinking.

Prom court is not a binding contract.

You are a traitor to the Do Not Ask.

Okay, so I got a little excited.

- It's prom court, Tamara.
- You're only human.

But don't worry, I'm not going to go.

My nomination was a joke.

A joke? Like, "Knock, knock. Who's there?

Jenna the prom queen"?

No, I'm the loser nominee and so was Kyle.

This is sophomore year
Winter Formal d?j?� vu.

It's not about a nomination.
It's about humiliation.

That's not true.

Don't try and make me feel better.

I don't sugarcoat hard facts, Jenna.

We voted for prom king and queen nominees

the day you caused the blackout
and you were super popular.

This is the result of your
literal 15 minutes of fame.

Okay, so then why do the Julies look at me

like I'm a piece of gum stuck to
the bottom of their Louboutins?

That's their resting face.
You should know that by now.

I had to admit,

I was more than a little
relieved that I wasn't a joke.

Did I actually have a chance
at winning prom queen?

I can tell you're already
planning your acceptance speech,

you sell-out.

Wait, hold the tiara.

Jenna, you have to win prom queen.

Well, that was a quick turnaround.

That way you can use
your speech as a platform

to tell the assembled masses
how they've degraded themselves.

I don't really think I'd make a speech.

Take prom down from the inside, Jenna.

??Viva la revoluci?n!

[playing upbeat music over speaker]

-
Say "yes"

-
Say "yes"

Yes.

[cheering]

Shh!

This is such a great day.

I feel like I have everything figured out.

You're going to prom with me,

I decided I'm going to take a gap year,

- I had a really good lunch...
- Oh, what now?

I had a pepperoni personal pizza.

No, no. The thing you said before that.

Oh, I'm gonna take a gap year.

As in not go to college?

Just for a year.

To do what, exactly? Travel?

No, just stay home, save some money

so I can go to a school
that isn't known for

giving ex-cons degrees.

But I will be able to
visit you all the time.

Anyway, where should we
go to dinner before prom?

I don't know.

[phone rings]

[horn honks]

What do you think?

I think this is the worst [bleep] promposal

I've ever seen.

What the hell is a promposal?

Sounds like some weird rich kid [bleep].

It is.

I bought this. I have my own business now.

I'm thinking about calling it Sergio's.

What do you think? Is it too obvious?

And why would you do something like that?

You know, for our future.

Our future?

How does you staying here have
anything to do with our future?

What do you mean? I'm going
to visit you in New York.

It's not like you asked
me to move in with you.

Did I have to spell it out for you?

I faked my roommate application
so I could have a single

and you could come be with me.

I cannot believe that you
would make such a huge decision

without discussing it with me.

Like how you decided to go
to Columbia without asking me?

That was Columbia. You bought a food truck.

You just committed to
staying in this stupid town.

Why continue this sham of a relationship

for a few more weeks?

Let's just put it out of its misery now.

Sign up and take back your dignity.

Prom? More like wrong.

That kind of works.

Turn in your prom ticket and
you'll enter a raffle to meet

my cousin's cover band of...

Paramore.

Um, what are you doing?

Oh, it's this totally brillz
idea that Jenna thought of.

It's a Do Not Ask list so
no idiot asks you to prom

and you can opt out of the whole charade.

So Jenna thought of this?

Interesting.

Can I sign this twice?

Actually, you know who should be on this?

That girl who listens to The Fray

and has the "99% angel" sticker on her BMW.

She doesn't deserve to get asked to prom.

Stop it.

As head of the prom
committee, I forbid this.

I forbid it. [snaps pencil]

He got him a latte?

Is it vanilla flavored?

I think they spelled your name wrong.

I think they spelled it right.

Yes, I'll go to prom with you.

- Sick!
- Traitor!

- I thought it was sweet.
- So sweet.

Except, Theo, I thought you
and Cole would go together.

Because we're gay?

For the billionth time,

gay people can be friends with each other.

But friends can go to prom.

You're right.

Lissa, would you like
to go to prom with me?

I'm weighing a couple of offers, but yes.

If I go with you, I'm guaranteed
to keep my second virginity.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm gonna show Cole that two can play this

back-to-basic game.

I have to show you my prom vision board.

[squeals]

Everyone is drinking the
prom Kool-Aid, but not me.

I don't even care about going to prom

in a Stella McCartney gold sequin dress

with a light pink matching corsage

and drinking champagne
in a town car, not a limo,

and getting a room at the Four
Seasons with all my friends.

The more Tamara protested,
the more I could tell...

she wanted to have the
perfect prom, just like me.

Hey, babe.

So I figured out how you
can spend your gap year.

There's this inner-city tutoring program

that you can volunteer at.

Oh, and this law firm
is looking for interns.

You can also take film classes at SC.

After all that, you could
definitely reach for an Ivy.

Whoa. Thanks.

This is really sweet of you,
but none of this involves saving,

let alone making any money.

I already know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to live at home,
help my mom and sister,

and wait tables and that
way I can pay for a school

that I'm really excited
about going to next year.

Yeah, I get that, but how can you get into

a school you're excited about if
you don't do anything exciting?

Trust me, I'll figure it out.

- But waiting tables?
- Why do you care so much?

Because it's embarrassing.

I didn't mean it like that.

No, I think you did.

I wouldn't want to embarrass
you when I visit you at Stanford

and I certainly wouldn't
want to embarrass you at prom.

I think we should find other dates.

- Hello?
- We're closed.

We'll be open for business in a few weeks.

Oh, hey. I thought we were broken up.

I didn't mean we were breaking up.

I just... I've been so
stressed with this mom stuff

that I haven't told you
about and I took it out on you

and I'm really sorry.

That's the thing with you,
Sadie, it's always something.

Today it was your mom,
yesterday it was Ally,

tomorrow it's going to
be the New York subway.

I won't take the subway.

Jesus! You know what I mean.

It's always about you.

When is it going to be about me?

You haven't even
congratulated me on the truck.

Congratulations. I'm really happy for you.

I promise I will be better.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't believe you.

All I want to do is love you,

and you fight me every step of the way.

I can't fight anymore.

So if you'll excuse me,
I got a lot of work to do.

Who knew I'd actually be relieved

to be paired with Kyle over Matty?

He was sweet, despite
certain quirks.

Let's rehearse what happens

when we crown the prom king and queen.

So let's just say Matty wins prom king

and Jenna wins prom queen.

Ooh, I'm so excited.
It's like the real thing.

The universe certainly
had a sick sense of humor,

and by "the universe" I meant Lissa.

So, you guys will walk up to me

and I'll place the crowns on your head.

Come on. Come on.

Then you wave to the crowd,

and then you'll slow dance.

Let's do it for funsies.
Okay, everyone else pair up.

Stand back.

There should be at least a five-foot radius

between the winners and
the rest of you losers.

Soak it up, Hamilton.

Because an imaginary win
is all you're getting.

Okay, dance.

That's okay, really. It's fine.

Come on, Jenna, it's just a dance.

I said dance!

Fine.

Listen, I get it.

You want me to go to school
2,000 miles away from you,

you created a Do Not Ask list.

Why, so I wouldn't ask you to prom?

I wasn't going to ask you anyway.

You made it perfectly
clear you didn't want me to.

Just try to get through one stupid dance,

even though you obviously
hate me now for some reason.

I don't hate you. I did
all those things because...

I don't care. It doesn't matter why.

I got your message loud and
clear. I'll just stay away.

Rehearsal isn't over.

Every inch of me wanted to scream,

"I love you."

The only person I hated was myself.

For putting us through this.

Senior prom was
supposed to be a fun,

once-in-a-lifetime experience.

And we were all letting
it make us miserable.

I couldn't stop thinking
about what Jake said

at the lunch table that day.

"You should go to prom
with someone you love."

And I was going to do just that.

_

[doorbell rings]

I know this seems weird, but I love you.

Will you go to prom with me?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

What's wrong?

Sergio broke up with me.

I'm so sorry, Sadie.

Hey, you want to go to prom?

Yay.

Oh, by the way, I'm wearing red

so I'll send you a Pinterest
board with your dress options.

Perfect.

Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com

Next on Awkward:

Welcome to the Enchanted Fantasy prom.

You could win a rainbow.

Men do not understand the
importance of the prom dress.

Even though I couldn't have him,

I still wanted him to want me.

Is this about Hamil-turd?

I just always figured
you'd go to prom together.

Cheers to a fantasy prom.

Yay!

[gasping]

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