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1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,434
[Pam] Okay, keep coming...
2
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:06,826
[annoyed sigh]
3
00:00:06,822 --> 00:00:10,191
- Looking good, keep coming...
- Can I just take it off?
4
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:14,682
- No, shut up, keep coming...
- Really not liking this.
5
00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:17,103
Well, but once you see
the surprise, keep coming,
6
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,396
you're gonna forget all
about being mad about the map.
7
00:00:19,424 --> 00:00:22,482
That's what I'm saying, if the
goal here is to unpiss me off...
8
00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:24,817
- [metallic clang] Oww! What the...?
- Sorry, go left?
9
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:29,212
- Goddamn it!
- Wait, hang on, wait, wait, wait!
10
00:00:29,232 --> 00:00:32,168
- Wh...?! What the...?
- [Pam] Ta-da!
11
00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,461
- [Archer] What the actual goddamn shit?!
- [Crackers] Yeah, right?
12
00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,951
At first, I was like, "pfft,"
but then I was like "myeah?"
13
00:00:37,943 --> 00:00:39,477
What'd you...
What have you done?!
14
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,907
Well, I used the all the ribs,
they were in pretty good shape,
15
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,867
the spans are the toughest
bamboo I could find...
16
00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:45,196
- I helped.
- Shut up.
17
00:00:45,192 --> 00:00:47,360
...then I covered 'em with
canvas sails, and doped
18
00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:49,520
the whole thing up tighter
than dick's hatband!
19
00:00:49,514 --> 00:00:52,682
- Hey, whoa!
- Dick's hatband?! Dick's hatband?!
20
00:00:52,707 --> 00:00:54,451
- Yeah, I dunno.
- People say that.
21
00:00:54,479 --> 00:00:57,370
- Right?
- You big dumb ox! You ruined her!
22
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,629
[tearing up] B-But...
I thought you'd be happy!
23
00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:04,819
Happy?! You thought I'd
be happy? I oughta...
24
00:01:04,878 --> 00:01:09,419
What the...?
[plane approaching]
25
00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:12,946
[music]
26
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,785
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, where are you?
27
00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:23,235
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
28
00:01:26,221 --> 00:01:30,457
C'mon, baby, c'mon, you can do it.
Don't let him in the slot!
29
00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:38,962
[chuckling]
[speaking German]_
30
00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:41,524
[artillery firing]
31
00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:44,251
[grunting]
C'mon, ya fat Russian pig!
32
00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:51,037
_
33
00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:55,785
Goddamn it!
34
00:01:55,780 --> 00:01:57,709
_
35
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:03,003
[Archer] Son of a... No! No!
36
00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:04,729
No, no, no, no, no, no!
37
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:08,236
[chuckling]_
38
00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:11,899
_
[coughing]
39
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,940
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
40
00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:19,877
Eat a dick!
41
00:02:21,681 --> 00:02:25,350
- [Archer] Wha... what... what is it...
- [Pam] Archer?
42
00:02:25,339 --> 00:02:27,574
- [snaps fingers] Hey. Hey!
- Huh?
43
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,333
Where'd ya go, buddy?
44
00:02:30,326 --> 00:02:33,229
Spain...
[body thud]
45
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:37,421
[Crackers] Heh. Oh, man.
Is Spain not the best?
46
00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:39,896
C'mon, tapas?
47
00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:45,618
[title theme]
48
00:03:13,781 --> 00:03:17,363
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
49
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,368
[Pam] Archer?
Archer, hey, c'mon...
50
00:03:22,359 --> 00:03:28,063
C'mon. C'mon, snap out of it, bub,
'cause, uh, we got company.
51
00:03:28,078 --> 00:03:30,211
Huh? What-what...?
Wait, where am I?
52
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,874
Right here with me and Crackers.
53
00:03:31,869 --> 00:03:33,202
- Ugh.
- [hurt] Hey...
54
00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:36,034
- Question is, where were you?
- Pam, it was the damnedest thing.
55
00:03:36,025 --> 00:03:37,857
All of a sudden I was back in Spain,
56
00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:39,920
getting shot down by that
son of a bitch Ziegler.
57
00:03:39,948 --> 00:03:42,149
Yeah, so...
[Ziegler chuckles]
58
00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:44,110
- Which time?
- [Archer gasps] What the hell?!
59
00:03:44,138 --> 00:03:46,805
- Yeah, so, funny story...
- Ziegler?!
60
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,732
Hallo, Archer. Heh.
You are flying a garbage truck now?
61
00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:52,057
No, I...
Wait, how are you here?!
62
00:03:52,085 --> 00:03:55,887
- It is an incredible coincidence, ja?
- Literally incredible.
63
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,741
So, does this place have a bar?
64
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,136
I owe you a drink, you
have made me famous.
65
00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:03,211
[speaking German] _
66
00:04:03,235 --> 00:04:04,189
[raucous laughter]
67
00:04:04,187 --> 00:04:08,059
- Das is die umgekerht Ace?!
- Ja! Es war er!
68
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,477
[speaking German] _
69
00:04:09,507 --> 00:04:11,074
This means the "reverse ace."
70
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:14,371
Because in Spain I shot
him down five times.
71
00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:16,694
- We know.
- Plus not to mention his eye...
72
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:19,089
Then why did you...?
[verbal shrug]
73
00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:20,817
- And why the hell are you here?!
- Well, I...
74
00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:22,979
[Fuchs] I don't see
how that concerns you.
75
00:04:23,007 --> 00:04:26,451
- Hauptmann Ziegler?
- Ah, sie sind bestimmt Herr Fuchs.
76
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:30,012
[speaking German] _
77
00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,356
Oh. So, hey, Archer, please
let me buy you that drink, eh?
78
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:37,148
- Come find me later.
- Oh, don't worry, I'll find you.
79
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:41,361
[chuckles]
Well, that would be a first.
80
00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:44,294
[speaking German]
81
00:04:44,319 --> 00:04:47,753
[laughing]
[speaking German]
82
00:04:47,776 --> 00:04:51,678
Man. So the guy who shot
you down all those times,
83
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,802
shot your eyeball out, he shows
up on the same teeny tiny island,
84
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,961
halfway around the world?
I mean, what're the odds?
85
00:04:57,985 --> 00:05:00,218
- Literally zero.
- Shut up, bird.
86
00:05:00,245 --> 00:05:01,513
Eh.
87
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,642
- So...you okay?
- Hm?
88
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:08,807
Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine,
I'm good, I'm totally good, I'm...
89
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:11,382
[music]
90
00:05:11,883 --> 00:05:13,849
God...
91
00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:15,145
[machine gun firing]
92
00:05:15,147 --> 00:05:16,673
Damn it!
93
00:05:18,532 --> 00:05:21,634
[chuckles]
No, I am good, I'm great.
94
00:05:21,658 --> 00:05:24,126
'Cause I'm gonna kill him.
95
00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:25,985
[Malory] Alright, Missy, we need...
[pianist playing jazz within]
96
00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,880
...to have a little talk.
97
00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:29,709
Now, I don't know what you studied
98
00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:32,971
at whatever fancy-pants
finishing school you went to...
99
00:05:32,995 --> 00:05:34,129
- Finch.
- What?
100
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:38,896
- I went to Finch?
- No one cares. But can I assume
101
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,914
they didn't teach you
business management?
102
00:05:40,942 --> 00:05:44,444
- I don't know.
- Well, now you are a business.
103
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,901
In which I've made a major investment...
104
00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:52,164
- Pfft, what, bear claws and brandy?
- And a roof over your head.
105
00:05:52,181 --> 00:05:54,648
And so far, you're not
making me any money.
106
00:05:54,675 --> 00:05:56,308
Well, how can I?
Look at this place.
107
00:05:56,303 --> 00:05:57,971
There's hardly ever anybody in here.
108
00:05:57,967 --> 00:06:01,835
Well, what about him?
Did you ask him about a date?
109
00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,790
- I asked them both.
- Seriously?
110
00:06:03,818 --> 00:06:06,752
Ugh! I'll try again after
they finish that sherry.
111
00:06:06,777 --> 00:06:09,512
I-I... I think she was on the fence.
112
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:13,439
- [gasps] Wait, what about him?
- [Malory] Ohh, no.
113
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,761
He is strictly off limits.
And if I catch you sniffing around...
114
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,986
[shattered glass]
[soldiers chattering in German]
115
00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:23,082
[raucous cheers]
[speaks German] _
116
00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:24,036
What in the...?
117
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,033
Eh... parlez-vous Fran?ais?
118
00:06:26,062 --> 00:06:27,862
- English.
- Good, better.
119
00:06:27,857 --> 00:06:29,691
Eleven liters of beer, please.
120
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,821
The first round is on me!
[soldiers cheering raucously]
121
00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:34,545
And then they pay for themselves!
122
00:06:34,575 --> 00:06:37,175
[soldiers playful boos and raspberries]
123
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,469
Oh, do not listen to them, their
pockets are stuffed with back pay.
124
00:06:41,489 --> 00:06:44,557
And they have not seen
a woman in months. Oof.
125
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:45,815
Ahem.
126
00:06:45,811 --> 00:06:49,080
Here, take this down to the
shop and tell Mister Wong
127
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,672
you want the biggest jar
of coconut butter he's got.
128
00:06:52,694 --> 00:06:56,030
- Why?
- Trust me.
129
00:06:58,561 --> 00:07:00,895
[Pam] Base a Rojo Tres.
[military music]
130
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:03,472
Rojo Tres, responde.
[static]
131
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,616
Rojo Tres...
Rojo Tres.
132
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,373
God... Archer!
133
00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:11,370
- [Archer on radio] What?
- [Pam on radio] You're Rojo Tres!
134
00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:13,729
I thought I was Red Thr... Oh.
135
00:07:13,756 --> 00:07:15,956
- [Crackers, low] Jesus Christ.
- Shut up, bird.
136
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:18,518
[Pam] No, you shut up,
and keep an eye peeled for
137
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:20,945
- that son of a bitch Ziegler.
- [Ziegler on radio] Ja?
138
00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:24,073
- Wha...?!
- He could be anywhere.
139
00:07:24,063 --> 00:07:28,298
[Ziegler laughs, guns firing]
Goddamn it, Ziegler, you...
140
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,884
[Ziegler chuckling]
Adios, desayuno.
141
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,445
Ziegleeeer!
142
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,889
[gasps]
143
00:07:38,007 --> 00:07:39,629
[heavy breathing]
144
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:43,992
[angry sigh]
Oh, Ziegler.
145
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,682
[Fuchs laughs]
It means the brickmaker!
146
00:07:47,704 --> 00:07:51,673
Ziegler, this is a family name in German
for someone who makes bricks.
147
00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:53,861
- [Lanaluakalani] Mm-hmm...
- [Fuchs] But in this case,
148
00:07:53,854 --> 00:07:55,288
it has also another meaning
149
00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,985
because he turns the enemy
warplanes into bricks!
150
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,311
[laughs] Yeah,
other languages have puns too.
151
00:08:00,337 --> 00:08:02,404
But not as powerful as German puns!
152
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,466
- Shhh!
- And so, with Ziegler
153
00:08:04,494 --> 00:08:08,329
and the other pilots providing close
air support to the new soldiers,
154
00:08:08,351 --> 00:08:11,519
nothing, not cannibals,
not zose verdammt lizards,
155
00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:13,610
can stop us from finding the idol!
156
00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:15,404
[stage whisper] Keep your voice down!
157
00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,400
If my father hears you,
he'll cut your balls off!
158
00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:20,530
[chuckling] Ja, right,
like your bodyguards, eh?
159
00:08:20,554 --> 00:08:22,122
- No!
- Oh.
160
00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:27,019
But until then, get back in here and
bring me some more... wienerschnitzel.
161
00:08:27,037 --> 00:08:29,871
[Fuchs] I, uh, still
need a bit more time...
162
00:08:29,897 --> 00:08:33,364
Still?
Ugh. What is taking so long?
163
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,690
I must, uh, replenish my lebenskraft.
164
00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:38,146
[Lanaluakalani] Still, though...
165
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,177
Wait a minute, you're not seeing
someone else, are you?
166
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:44,602
Don't be foolish. Besides,
what other women even live
167
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,825
on this gottverlassen island?
168
00:08:46,854 --> 00:08:49,088
[delighted laughter]
169
00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:52,116
Oh, it's a long way to Tipperary
170
00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:55,175
It's a long way to go
171
00:08:55,199 --> 00:08:56,965
What zis the meaning of this?!
172
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,395
The best I can tell,
it's about an Irishman
173
00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:01,456
- learning about cunnilingus.
- Quoi?
174
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:04,218
- Oh, sorry, that's when...
- I know what it means!
175
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,911
- Really?
- I mean these German soldiers!
176
00:09:06,936 --> 00:09:09,003
They have invaded French territoire!
177
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:11,699
- And my heart, if I'm being honest.
- What?!
178
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:17,095
If these big lugs gamble and screw
as much as they drink, I can retire!
179
00:09:17,111 --> 00:09:19,211
Well, you may be for sale, madame,
180
00:09:19,238 --> 00:09:24,908
but the honor of France is not.
I shall place them all under arrest!
181
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,187
[gulps]
182
00:09:27,285 --> 00:09:31,754
- Viens, Doudou!
- Well, bonne chance with that...
183
00:09:31,774 --> 00:09:35,476
[Charlotte delighted laughter]
Farewell Angleterre...
184
00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:37,047
[grunts in pain]
185
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:40,262
Silence!
Who is in charge here?!
186
00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:42,820
I think I am.
Hauptmann Ziegler.
187
00:09:42,846 --> 00:09:45,514
Zis island is French territory!
188
00:09:45,539 --> 00:09:48,139
You and your men are here illegally!
189
00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:50,266
Oh. But we are just here as tourists!
190
00:09:50,294 --> 00:09:51,327
[chuckles and laughter]
191
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,158
Well, then I hope you
enjoy the tour of my jail.
192
00:09:54,184 --> 00:09:56,351
Because you are all under arrest!
193
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,411
[all protesting in German]
194
00:09:57,409 --> 00:10:00,110
Come on, we are just
some cool guys on leave,
195
00:10:00,135 --> 00:10:03,903
and since France is so far away,
and you are so outnumbered,
196
00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:07,538
can't you also just be a cool guy?
197
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,410
- Non.
- Fair enough.
198
00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:17,071
Et tu n'as rien fait...
Rien!
199
00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,727
[soldiers, distant]
Oh it's
a long way to Tipperary...
200
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,721
Tipperary. Pfft. It's a long
way to the goddamn ground,
201
00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:26,964
in a tired-ass Russian biplane,
when you lousy krauts are
202
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:31,203
ripping around in your brand-new
goddamn Messerschmitts...
203
00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:35,993
[Pam over radio] Okay, Archer,
keep an eye on your six this time.
204
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:37,579
Don't worry about me, Pam.
205
00:10:37,574 --> 00:10:41,309
Today's the day,
I can feel it, I'm gonna...
206
00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:42,765
[Archer] Ziegler!
207
00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:45,828
[Ziegler laughing]
208
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,558
Oh, so now we're just camping?!
209
00:10:54,631 --> 00:10:57,298
Higher top speed, higher
ceiling, tighter turn,
210
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:02,227
better rate of climb, so big
whoop, you got a couple of kills.
211
00:11:02,211 --> 00:11:03,758
[gulping]
212
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,142
It's easy when you sneak up on people.
213
00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:10,070
[Pam over radio] So, again, and I
really can't stress this enough...
214
00:11:10,091 --> 00:11:11,758
Don't worry about my six, Pam.
215
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,656
Nobody's gonna sneak up on me now.
216
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,382
[plane approaching]
Ohh... wait, hang on...
217
00:11:18,404 --> 00:11:21,338
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
[machine gun firing]
218
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:24,431
Oh! Ziegleeer!
219
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:27,289
So drink up, Ziegler, you ratdick,
220
00:11:27,314 --> 00:11:30,349
because your nightcap is gonna be...
221
00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,341
[hiccups] ...bullets.
222
00:11:32,369 --> 00:11:35,337
First thing, I'm gonna
shoot your eye out.
223
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,430
And then your dick off.
And then...
224
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:43,856
[Reynaud groaning]
225
00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:45,739
What the...?
226
00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:48,900
- What're you doing?
- What does it look like?!
227
00:11:48,894 --> 00:11:53,564
- Uh... a hermit crab?
- Idiot! Get me out of here!
228
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,648
- I'm busy.
- Wha...?!
229
00:11:58,403 --> 00:11:59,402
What the...?
230
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,983
- Oh, shoot.
- Aww, maaan...
231
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,698
- What the hell're you doing?!
- Well, we know you're sad,
232
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,723
so we were gonna surprise
you with a Kringle.
233
00:12:05,752 --> 00:12:06,885
- A what?
- Kringle.
234
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:08,749
Kringle.
State pastry of Wisconsin?
235
00:12:08,777 --> 00:12:10,210
Wisconsin has a state pastry?
236
00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,206
Kringles.
237
00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:14,039
- Stop saying Kringle!
- Okay, jeez!
238
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,531
But what're you doing
with your gun, there?
239
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:19,262
I'm gonna go in there...
Actually, no, wait...
240
00:12:19,283 --> 00:12:23,429
You're gonna go in there,
and lure Ziegler in here,
241
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:26,075
that's better,
and I'm gonna hide in the pantry,
242
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,901
and then I'm gonna bust
out and shoot his eye out.
243
00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:31,027
And then his dick off.
244
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:34,121
And then... his brains.
245
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:36,613
- Whaaaat?
- Yeah, you don't wanna do that...
246
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,008
Yes, I do, Pam!
An eye for an eye!
247
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,501
That's right in the goddamn Bible!
248
00:12:40,497 --> 00:12:43,064
Yeah, but c'mon, that was a fair fight.
249
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,925
It wasn't fair!
I was in a biplane!
250
00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:49,256
- He was in a brand-new goddamn 109!
- Still though...
251
00:12:49,279 --> 00:12:51,441
Yeah, but you don't
wanna kill him like this, it's...
252
00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:55,538
- It's chickenshit.
- [weary sigh] You're right.
253
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:58,894
Goddamn it, you're right.
And so...
254
00:12:58,884 --> 00:13:01,585
- I'm sorry for this.
- Sorry for...? Ungh!
255
00:13:01,576 --> 00:13:04,177
[Pam thuds]
Oh, what the shit, man?!
256
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,982
[gulps]
Shut up, bird.
257
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:11,535
[Crackers] Hey.
258
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:12,533
Hey, wake up.
[Ziegler snoring]
259
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,918
C'mon, rise and shine, Fritz.
[gentle snoring]
260
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:17,058
[annoyed sigh]
[squawks]
261
00:13:17,086 --> 00:13:18,086
[Charlotte] Waaaghh!
262
00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:19,693
- Jesus, what?!
- Was?!
263
00:13:19,722 --> 00:13:22,581
Easy! Easy!
I'm supposed to give you this.
264
00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,574
- How is this bird talking?!
- Right?
265
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:29,247
Was zum Teufel ist...
Oh, Schei?e!
266
00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:34,587
Nein, nein, nein, nein!
Schei?kopf!
267
00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,767
_
268
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,409
_
269
00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:44,594
So, hey, what would
a gal have to do to...?
270
00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:47,450
[door closes]
Jesus, rude much?!
271
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:48,676
I was going to ask how to get
272
00:13:48,673 --> 00:13:50,573
a ride out of here on
one of their planes.
273
00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:52,434
Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath.
274
00:13:52,463 --> 00:13:55,057
Yeah, well, I wouldn't
be a talking bird.
275
00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:59,091
_
276
00:13:59,877 --> 00:14:03,979
[sniffs] _
277
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,401
[sniffs] _
278
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:11,163
[gentle snoring]
279
00:14:11,182 --> 00:14:13,115
Huzza...wuzza...
280
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,645
Where the...?
Oh, what the shit?!
281
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,771
[Archer] Heh, heh.
Hey, sleepyhead.
282
00:14:17,799 --> 00:14:21,234
- Glad you could join us.
- Why the hell am I in a... Owww!
283
00:14:21,257 --> 00:14:23,691
Christ on a bike!
My head kills!
284
00:14:23,718 --> 00:14:26,418
[chuckling] Yeah, mine
did too, to be honest.
285
00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:29,947
- Little hairy dog?
- No, I... Wait a minute.
286
00:14:29,972 --> 00:14:32,069
- You hit me!
- I lightly tapped you...
287
00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:34,297
You piece of shit, you hit me!
288
00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:36,424
- Only because you were right!
- What?!
289
00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:38,952
I was gonna shoot Ziegler,
you may not remember this
290
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:40,563
'cause you have a concussion,
291
00:14:40,558 --> 00:14:42,140
but I was gonna shoot Ziegler,
292
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,270
but you told me that was chickenshit,
293
00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:46,198
and so now we're gonna
settle it up here,
294
00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:49,194
in a dogfight,
in evenly matched planes!
295
00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:51,555
- Man to man!
- And woman!
296
00:14:51,548 --> 00:14:53,347
Well, yeah, I needed a tailgunner, so...
297
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,576
- Goddamn it!
- And so now's probably a good time
298
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:59,139
- to familiarize yourself with said gun...
- Goddamn it!
299
00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:02,763
...'cause if Crackers did what I told
him to, it won't be long before...
300
00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:05,652
- [Ziegler over radio] Archer?!
- Speak of the teufel...
301
00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:07,112
Come on up, Ziegler.
302
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:09,622
See what it's like to fight
somebody fair and squ...
303
00:15:09,648 --> 00:15:12,135
[Archer and Pam startled yelps]
Say your prayers, Archer!
304
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,795
This time I will put you
down once and for all!
305
00:15:14,821 --> 00:15:16,455
Pam, get your head outta your ass!
306
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:18,283
- Me?!
- Your one job...
307
00:15:18,312 --> 00:15:20,646
...is to shoot things
coming at us from beh...
308
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:22,674
Oh, shit!
309
00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:27,063
- Son of a...
- [Pam] What was that?
310
00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:29,691
[Archer] Nothing.
311
00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:31,251
[soldiers chattering in German]
312
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:34,482
- I assume this was Sterling?
- Yep, yep, yep.
313
00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:37,070
Mm-hmm.
[sips]
314
00:15:40,224 --> 00:15:41,691
- Putamierda!
- Goddamn it!
315
00:15:41,687 --> 00:15:43,387
[Ziegler laughing] It
doesn't matter what you fly,
316
00:15:43,416 --> 00:15:48,051
- Archer, I will always beat you!
- Oh, you couldn't beat...
317
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:49,438
Hang on, I had something for th...
318
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:52,101
- Ya wanna save the quips?!
- It was pretty good!
319
00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:57,492
Oh, wait, so's that.
320
00:15:57,713 --> 00:16:00,548
[laughs hysterically]
How do ya like that, Ziegler?!
321
00:16:00,539 --> 00:16:03,774
Heh. Who taught you how
to shoot, your husband?
322
00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:05,165
[laughs]
Will you shut up?!
323
00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,762
It was pretty good!
324
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,557
All right, Archer, I am
bored with this and with you.
325
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,784
Get ready to die.
326
00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:13,611
[shrieks]
327
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:18,242
Um...okay.
328
00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:20,575
- Was ist Los?!
- Schei?e! Wir sind getroffen!
329
00:16:20,602 --> 00:16:21,922
[Ziegler] Nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein...
330
00:16:21,918 --> 00:16:23,385
[speaks German]
331
00:16:23,381 --> 00:16:26,407
What the...?
[Ziegler screams]
332
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,404
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hooo!
333
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,067
[laughing]
Holy shit!
334
00:16:32,093 --> 00:16:33,826
- Did you see that?!
- Yeah, I...
335
00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,122
I must've hit his fuel tank!
336
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:37,118
- Wait, what?
- Whoo-hoo!
337
00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:42,616
Million-to-one shot, but I did it!
I finally beat Ziegler!
338
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:46,168
- Yeah. Way to go.
- [laugsh] Right?!
339
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:48,223
But so now what? We can't
go back to the island now,
340
00:16:48,252 --> 00:16:50,318
the krauts are gonna know
this whole thing was you.
341
00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:51,447
You think I didn't think of that?!
342
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,111
Don't worry, I put Crackers on it.
343
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,005
[Fuchs] What in ze
hell is going on here?!
344
00:16:57,030 --> 00:16:59,731
Well?!
Someone had better tell me!
345
00:16:59,756 --> 00:17:03,726
Uh, yeah, so I was here, earlier,
and I saw the whole thing,
346
00:17:03,713 --> 00:17:06,214
which was Ziegler and the other guy,
347
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,808
Schnell, who, come to
find out, is his lover...
348
00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,231
- [all reactions of disbelief] Nein!
- Yeah...
349
00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:14,529
So they stole the other two planes
and set this one on fire,
350
00:17:14,518 --> 00:17:17,987
so nobody could follow them to Shanghai,
351
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:20,711
where they plan to open a cabaret,
352
00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:24,740
the unfortunately named "Scandals."
[soldiers all exclaiming]
353
00:17:24,727 --> 00:17:27,894
Ooh, Scandals, that sounds fun, huh?
354
00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:29,485
- [speaking German] Morgen!
- Hallo, Schatz!
355
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:33,316
- [giggles] Hi, guys!
- You're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
356
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:36,774
- I'm surprised you can even walk.
- What? Oh!
357
00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:38,563
God, no, they were all
so drunk they thought
358
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:42,192
that jar of coconut butter
was, you know, me. [chuckles]
359
00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:44,115
Oh. Oh!
360
00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:46,845
Well, as long as you charged
everybody full price...
361
00:17:46,871 --> 00:17:48,204
Heh. Right?
362
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,735
Then you should have
a lot of money to give me?
363
00:17:50,761 --> 00:17:53,362
Ah. About that... [scoffs]
364
00:17:53,387 --> 00:17:56,655
I've decided that from now
on, I'm keeping all of it.
365
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,880
- Excuse me?!
- Yeah, because your cop buddy
366
00:17:58,873 --> 00:18:00,207
lives in a barrel now,
367
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,839
and this stupid island is
under an occupying power,
368
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:04,130
all of whom are heavily armed
369
00:18:04,127 --> 00:18:07,495
and basically totally in love with me.
370
00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:09,119
[panting]
F?r dich, Fra?lein!
371
00:18:09,114 --> 00:18:11,614
Awww!
372
00:18:13,370 --> 00:18:17,705
So go make me some
goddamn breakfast.
373
00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:20,092
[Archer] Besides, getting
back to the island is like,
374
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,986
the one thing we don't
have to worry about.
375
00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:24,582
Yeah exactly, so...
Wait, what?!
376
00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:26,942
[engine seizes up]
377
00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:29,405
Damn it.
Well, the good news is,
378
00:18:29,397 --> 00:18:31,263
at least it's a seaplane, right?
379
00:18:31,292 --> 00:18:33,793
- Well, I mean, it was...
- What?!
380
00:18:33,785 --> 00:18:37,154
[Pam] Goddamn it!
Goddamn it! If you...
381
00:18:37,143 --> 00:18:38,810
Oh, shut up!
C'mon, if anybody
382
00:18:38,805 --> 00:18:41,373
can crash-land a plane,
it's me, right? Huh?
383
00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,766
With all my experience?
Pam?
384
00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:48,008
- Then get it over with!
- Oh, okay, I guess just pout.
385
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:49,915
- Pam.
- I am!
386
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,678
Okay, then here goes!
387
00:18:51,707 --> 00:18:55,241
[both yelling]
388
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,932
[Archer grunts]
389
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:01,162
[both scream]
390
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,383
[Archer] Whooo-hoo-hoo!
391
00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:04,476
Bocadas De mierda!
392
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:08,643
And did you see that, Pam?!
Also perfect!
393
00:19:08,664 --> 00:19:10,798
Who wins? Huh?
Archer wins!
394
00:19:10,825 --> 00:19:13,325
Yeah? This is a win for you?
395
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:16,587
Not just for me, Pam.
For America.
396
00:19:17,575 --> 00:19:20,576
And those hapless Spanish communists.
397
00:19:20,566 --> 00:19:21,867
[music]
398
00:19:21,864 --> 00:19:26,867
- Well? So now what?!
- So now, since we've only got one flare,
399
00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:28,384
I'm gonna shoot their leader with it,
400
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,881
and then when the rest of
them go into a feeding frenzy,
401
00:19:30,907 --> 00:19:32,541
you and me are gonna make a run for it.
402
00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:34,870
- What?!
- [chuckling] I'm kidding!
403
00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:38,065
You big dumb idiot.
[flare gun shot]
404
00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:40,724
[sighs]
Ya know...
405
00:19:44,843 --> 00:19:46,843
[Archer chuckling]
406
00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:51,432
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407
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:56,032
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