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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,434 [Pam] Okay, keep coming... 2 00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:06,826 [annoyed sigh] 3 00:00:06,822 --> 00:00:10,191 - Looking good, keep coming... - Can I just take it off? 4 00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:14,682 - No, shut up, keep coming... - Really not liking this. 5 00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:17,103 Well, but once you see the surprise, keep coming, 6 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,396 you're gonna forget all about being mad about the map. 7 00:00:19,424 --> 00:00:22,482 That's what I'm saying, if the goal here is to unpiss me off... 8 00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:24,817 - [metallic clang] Oww! What the...? - Sorry, go left? 9 00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:29,212 - Goddamn it! - Wait, hang on, wait, wait, wait! 10 00:00:29,232 --> 00:00:32,168 - Wh...?! What the...? - [Pam] Ta-da! 11 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,461 - [Archer] What the actual goddamn shit?! - [Crackers] Yeah, right? 12 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,951 At first, I was like, "pfft," but then I was like "myeah?" 13 00:00:37,943 --> 00:00:39,477 What'd you... What have you done?! 14 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,907 Well, I used the all the ribs, they were in pretty good shape, 15 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,867 the spans are the toughest bamboo I could find... 16 00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:45,196 - I helped. - Shut up. 17 00:00:45,192 --> 00:00:47,360 ...then I covered 'em with canvas sails, and doped 18 00:00:47,353 --> 00:00:49,520 the whole thing up tighter than dick's hatband! 19 00:00:49,514 --> 00:00:52,682 - Hey, whoa! - Dick's hatband?! Dick's hatband?! 20 00:00:52,707 --> 00:00:54,451 - Yeah, I dunno. - People say that. 21 00:00:54,479 --> 00:00:57,370 - Right? - You big dumb ox! You ruined her! 22 00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,629 [tearing up] B-But... I thought you'd be happy! 23 00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:04,819 Happy?! You thought I'd be happy? I oughta... 24 00:01:04,878 --> 00:01:09,419 What the...? [plane approaching] 25 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:12,946 [music] 26 00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,785 C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, where are you? 27 00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:23,235 C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. 28 00:01:26,221 --> 00:01:30,457 C'mon, baby, c'mon, you can do it. Don't let him in the slot! 29 00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:38,962 [chuckling] [speaking German]_ 30 00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:41,524 [artillery firing] 31 00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:44,251 [grunting] C'mon, ya fat Russian pig! 32 00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:51,037 _ 33 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:55,785 Goddamn it! 34 00:01:55,780 --> 00:01:57,709 _ 35 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:03,003 [Archer] Son of a... No! No! 36 00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:04,729 No, no, no, no, no, no! 37 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:08,236 [chuckling]_ 38 00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:11,899 _ [coughing] 39 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,940 Goddamn it. Goddamn it! 40 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:19,877 Eat a dick! 41 00:02:21,681 --> 00:02:25,350 - [Archer] Wha... what... what is it... - [Pam] Archer? 42 00:02:25,339 --> 00:02:27,574 - [snaps fingers] Hey. Hey! - Huh? 43 00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,333 Where'd ya go, buddy? 44 00:02:30,326 --> 00:02:33,229 Spain... [body thud] 45 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:37,421 [Crackers] Heh. Oh, man. Is Spain not the best? 46 00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:39,896 C'mon, tapas? 47 00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:45,618 [title theme] 48 00:03:13,781 --> 00:03:17,363 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 49 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,368 [Pam] Archer? Archer, hey, c'mon... 50 00:03:22,359 --> 00:03:28,063 C'mon. C'mon, snap out of it, bub, 'cause, uh, we got company. 51 00:03:28,078 --> 00:03:30,211 Huh? What-what...? Wait, where am I? 52 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,874 Right here with me and Crackers. 53 00:03:31,869 --> 00:03:33,202 - Ugh. - [hurt] Hey... 54 00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:36,034 - Question is, where were you? - Pam, it was the damnedest thing. 55 00:03:36,025 --> 00:03:37,857 All of a sudden I was back in Spain, 56 00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:39,920 getting shot down by that son of a bitch Ziegler. 57 00:03:39,948 --> 00:03:42,149 Yeah, so... [Ziegler chuckles] 58 00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:44,110 - Which time? - [Archer gasps] What the hell?! 59 00:03:44,138 --> 00:03:46,805 - Yeah, so, funny story... - Ziegler?! 60 00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:49,732 Hallo, Archer. Heh. You are flying a garbage truck now? 61 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:52,057 No, I... Wait, how are you here?! 62 00:03:52,085 --> 00:03:55,887 - It is an incredible coincidence, ja? - Literally incredible. 63 00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,741 So, does this place have a bar? 64 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,136 I owe you a drink, you have made me famous. 65 00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:03,211 [speaking German] _ 66 00:04:03,235 --> 00:04:04,189 [raucous laughter] 67 00:04:04,187 --> 00:04:08,059 - Das is die umgekerht Ace?! - Ja! Es war er! 68 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,477 [speaking German] _ 69 00:04:09,507 --> 00:04:11,074 This means the "reverse ace." 70 00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:14,371 Because in Spain I shot him down five times. 71 00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:16,694 - We know. - Plus not to mention his eye... 72 00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:19,089 Then why did you...? [verbal shrug] 73 00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:20,817 - And why the hell are you here?! - Well, I... 74 00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:22,979 [Fuchs] I don't see how that concerns you. 75 00:04:23,007 --> 00:04:26,451 - Hauptmann Ziegler? - Ah, sie sind bestimmt Herr Fuchs. 76 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:30,012 [speaking German] _ 77 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,356 Oh. So, hey, Archer, please let me buy you that drink, eh? 78 00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:37,148 - Come find me later. - Oh, don't worry, I'll find you. 79 00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:41,361 [chuckles] Well, that would be a first. 80 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:44,294 [speaking German] 81 00:04:44,319 --> 00:04:47,753 [laughing] [speaking German] 82 00:04:47,776 --> 00:04:51,678 Man. So the guy who shot you down all those times, 83 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,802 shot your eyeball out, he shows up on the same teeny tiny island, 84 00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,961 halfway around the world? I mean, what're the odds? 85 00:04:57,985 --> 00:05:00,218 - Literally zero. - Shut up, bird. 86 00:05:00,245 --> 00:05:01,513 Eh. 87 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,642 - So...you okay? - Hm? 88 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:08,807 Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm totally good, I'm... 89 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:11,382 [music] 90 00:05:11,883 --> 00:05:13,849 God... 91 00:05:13,843 --> 00:05:15,145 [machine gun firing] 92 00:05:15,147 --> 00:05:16,673 Damn it! 93 00:05:18,532 --> 00:05:21,634 [chuckles] No, I am good, I'm great. 94 00:05:21,658 --> 00:05:24,126 'Cause I'm gonna kill him. 95 00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:25,985 [Malory] Alright, Missy, we need... [pianist playing jazz within] 96 00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,880 ...to have a little talk. 97 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:29,709 Now, I don't know what you studied 98 00:05:29,738 --> 00:05:32,971 at whatever fancy-pants finishing school you went to... 99 00:05:32,995 --> 00:05:34,129 - Finch. - What? 100 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:38,896 - I went to Finch? - No one cares. But can I assume 101 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,914 they didn't teach you business management? 102 00:05:40,942 --> 00:05:44,444 - I don't know. - Well, now you are a business. 103 00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,901 In which I've made a major investment... 104 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:52,164 - Pfft, what, bear claws and brandy? - And a roof over your head. 105 00:05:52,181 --> 00:05:54,648 And so far, you're not making me any money. 106 00:05:54,675 --> 00:05:56,308 Well, how can I? Look at this place. 107 00:05:56,303 --> 00:05:57,971 There's hardly ever anybody in here. 108 00:05:57,967 --> 00:06:01,835 Well, what about him? Did you ask him about a date? 109 00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,790 - I asked them both. - Seriously? 110 00:06:03,818 --> 00:06:06,752 Ugh! I'll try again after they finish that sherry. 111 00:06:06,777 --> 00:06:09,512 I-I... I think she was on the fence. 112 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:13,439 - [gasps] Wait, what about him? - [Malory] Ohh, no. 113 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,761 He is strictly off limits. And if I catch you sniffing around... 114 00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:18,986 [shattered glass] [soldiers chattering in German] 115 00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:23,082 [raucous cheers] [speaks German] _ 116 00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:24,036 What in the...? 117 00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,033 Eh... parlez-vous Fran?ais? 118 00:06:26,062 --> 00:06:27,862 - English. - Good, better. 119 00:06:27,857 --> 00:06:29,691 Eleven liters of beer, please. 120 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,821 The first round is on me! [soldiers cheering raucously] 121 00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:34,545 And then they pay for themselves! 122 00:06:34,575 --> 00:06:37,175 [soldiers playful boos and raspberries] 123 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,469 Oh, do not listen to them, their pockets are stuffed with back pay. 124 00:06:41,489 --> 00:06:44,557 And they have not seen a woman in months. Oof. 125 00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:45,815 Ahem. 126 00:06:45,811 --> 00:06:49,080 Here, take this down to the shop and tell Mister Wong 127 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,672 you want the biggest jar of coconut butter he's got. 128 00:06:52,694 --> 00:06:56,030 - Why? - Trust me. 129 00:06:58,561 --> 00:07:00,895 [Pam] Base a Rojo Tres. [military music] 130 00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:03,472 Rojo Tres, responde. [static] 131 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,616 Rojo Tres... Rojo Tres. 132 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,373 God... Archer! 133 00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:11,370 - [Archer on radio] What? - [Pam on radio] You're Rojo Tres! 134 00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:13,729 I thought I was Red Thr... Oh. 135 00:07:13,756 --> 00:07:15,956 - [Crackers, low] Jesus Christ. - Shut up, bird. 136 00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:18,518 [Pam] No, you shut up, and keep an eye peeled for 137 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:20,945 - that son of a bitch Ziegler. - [Ziegler on radio] Ja? 138 00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:24,073 - Wha...?! - He could be anywhere. 139 00:07:24,063 --> 00:07:28,298 [Ziegler laughs, guns firing] Goddamn it, Ziegler, you... 140 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,884 [Ziegler chuckling] Adios, desayuno. 141 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,445 Ziegleeeer! 142 00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,889 [gasps] 143 00:07:38,007 --> 00:07:39,629 [heavy breathing] 144 00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:43,992 [angry sigh] Oh, Ziegler. 145 00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,682 [Fuchs laughs] It means the brickmaker! 146 00:07:47,704 --> 00:07:51,673 Ziegler, this is a family name in German for someone who makes bricks. 147 00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:53,861 - [Lanaluakalani] Mm-hmm... - [Fuchs] But in this case, 148 00:07:53,854 --> 00:07:55,288 it has also another meaning 149 00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,985 because he turns the enemy warplanes into bricks! 150 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,311 [laughs] Yeah, other languages have puns too. 151 00:08:00,337 --> 00:08:02,404 But not as powerful as German puns! 152 00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,466 - Shhh! - And so, with Ziegler 153 00:08:04,494 --> 00:08:08,329 and the other pilots providing close air support to the new soldiers, 154 00:08:08,351 --> 00:08:11,519 nothing, not cannibals, not zose verdammt lizards, 155 00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:13,610 can stop us from finding the idol! 156 00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:15,404 [stage whisper] Keep your voice down! 157 00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,400 If my father hears you, he'll cut your balls off! 158 00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:20,530 [chuckling] Ja, right, like your bodyguards, eh? 159 00:08:20,554 --> 00:08:22,122 - No! - Oh. 160 00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:27,019 But until then, get back in here and bring me some more... wienerschnitzel. 161 00:08:27,037 --> 00:08:29,871 [Fuchs] I, uh, still need a bit more time... 162 00:08:29,897 --> 00:08:33,364 Still? Ugh. What is taking so long? 163 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,690 I must, uh, replenish my lebenskraft. 164 00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:38,146 [Lanaluakalani] Still, though... 165 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,177 Wait a minute, you're not seeing someone else, are you? 166 00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:44,602 Don't be foolish. Besides, what other women even live 167 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,825 on this gottverlassen island? 168 00:08:46,854 --> 00:08:49,088 [delighted laughter] 169 00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:52,116 Oh, it's a long way to Tipperary 170 00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:55,175 It's a long way to go 171 00:08:55,199 --> 00:08:56,965 What zis the meaning of this?! 172 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,395 The best I can tell, it's about an Irishman 173 00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:01,456 - learning about cunnilingus. - Quoi? 174 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:04,218 - Oh, sorry, that's when... - I know what it means! 175 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,911 - Really? - I mean these German soldiers! 176 00:09:06,936 --> 00:09:09,003 They have invaded French territoire! 177 00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:11,699 - And my heart, if I'm being honest. - What?! 178 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:17,095 If these big lugs gamble and screw as much as they drink, I can retire! 179 00:09:17,111 --> 00:09:19,211 Well, you may be for sale, madame, 180 00:09:19,238 --> 00:09:24,908 but the honor of France is not. I shall place them all under arrest! 181 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,187 [gulps] 182 00:09:27,285 --> 00:09:31,754 - Viens, Doudou! - Well, bonne chance with that... 183 00:09:31,774 --> 00:09:35,476 [Charlotte delighted laughter] Farewell Angleterre... 184 00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:37,047 [grunts in pain] 185 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:40,262 Silence! Who is in charge here?! 186 00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:42,820 I think I am. Hauptmann Ziegler. 187 00:09:42,846 --> 00:09:45,514 Zis island is French territory! 188 00:09:45,539 --> 00:09:48,139 You and your men are here illegally! 189 00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:50,266 Oh. But we are just here as tourists! 190 00:09:50,294 --> 00:09:51,327 [chuckles and laughter] 191 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,158 Well, then I hope you enjoy the tour of my jail. 192 00:09:54,184 --> 00:09:56,351 Because you are all under arrest! 193 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,411 [all protesting in German] 194 00:09:57,409 --> 00:10:00,110 Come on, we are just some cool guys on leave, 195 00:10:00,135 --> 00:10:03,903 and since France is so far away, and you are so outnumbered, 196 00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:07,538 can't you also just be a cool guy? 197 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,410 - Non. - Fair enough. 198 00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:17,071 Et tu n'as rien fait... Rien! 199 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,727 [soldiers, distant] Oh it's a long way to Tipperary... 200 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,721 Tipperary. Pfft. It's a long way to the goddamn ground, 201 00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:26,964 in a tired-ass Russian biplane, when you lousy krauts are 202 00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:31,203 ripping around in your brand-new goddamn Messerschmitts... 203 00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:35,993 [Pam over radio] Okay, Archer, keep an eye on your six this time. 204 00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:37,579 Don't worry about me, Pam. 205 00:10:37,574 --> 00:10:41,309 Today's the day, I can feel it, I'm gonna... 206 00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:42,765 [Archer] Ziegler! 207 00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:45,828 [Ziegler laughing] 208 00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,558 Oh, so now we're just camping?! 209 00:10:54,631 --> 00:10:57,298 Higher top speed, higher ceiling, tighter turn, 210 00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:02,227 better rate of climb, so big whoop, you got a couple of kills. 211 00:11:02,211 --> 00:11:03,758 [gulping] 212 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,142 It's easy when you sneak up on people. 213 00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:10,070 [Pam over radio] So, again, and I really can't stress this enough... 214 00:11:10,091 --> 00:11:11,758 Don't worry about my six, Pam. 215 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,656 Nobody's gonna sneak up on me now. 216 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,382 [plane approaching] Ohh... wait, hang on... 217 00:11:18,404 --> 00:11:21,338 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. [machine gun firing] 218 00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:24,431 Oh! Ziegleeer! 219 00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:27,289 So drink up, Ziegler, you ratdick, 220 00:11:27,314 --> 00:11:30,349 because your nightcap is gonna be... 221 00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,341 [hiccups] ...bullets. 222 00:11:32,369 --> 00:11:35,337 First thing, I'm gonna shoot your eye out. 223 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,430 And then your dick off. And then... 224 00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:43,856 [Reynaud groaning] 225 00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:45,739 What the...? 226 00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:48,900 - What're you doing? - What does it look like?! 227 00:11:48,894 --> 00:11:53,564 - Uh... a hermit crab? - Idiot! Get me out of here! 228 00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,648 - I'm busy. - Wha...?! 229 00:11:58,403 --> 00:11:59,402 What the...? 230 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,983 - Oh, shoot. - Aww, maaan... 231 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,698 - What the hell're you doing?! - Well, we know you're sad, 232 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,723 so we were gonna surprise you with a Kringle. 233 00:12:05,752 --> 00:12:06,885 - A what? - Kringle. 234 00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:08,749 Kringle. State pastry of Wisconsin? 235 00:12:08,777 --> 00:12:10,210 Wisconsin has a state pastry? 236 00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,206 Kringles. 237 00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:14,039 - Stop saying Kringle! - Okay, jeez! 238 00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,531 But what're you doing with your gun, there? 239 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:19,262 I'm gonna go in there... Actually, no, wait... 240 00:12:19,283 --> 00:12:23,429 You're gonna go in there, and lure Ziegler in here, 241 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:26,075 that's better, and I'm gonna hide in the pantry, 242 00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,901 and then I'm gonna bust out and shoot his eye out. 243 00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:31,027 And then his dick off. 244 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:34,121 And then... his brains. 245 00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:36,613 - Whaaaat? - Yeah, you don't wanna do that... 246 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,008 Yes, I do, Pam! An eye for an eye! 247 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,501 That's right in the goddamn Bible! 248 00:12:40,497 --> 00:12:43,064 Yeah, but c'mon, that was a fair fight. 249 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,925 It wasn't fair! I was in a biplane! 250 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:49,256 - He was in a brand-new goddamn 109! - Still though... 251 00:12:49,279 --> 00:12:51,441 Yeah, but you don't wanna kill him like this, it's... 252 00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:55,538 - It's chickenshit. - [weary sigh] You're right. 253 00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:58,894 Goddamn it, you're right. And so... 254 00:12:58,884 --> 00:13:01,585 - I'm sorry for this. - Sorry for...? Ungh! 255 00:13:01,576 --> 00:13:04,177 [Pam thuds] Oh, what the shit, man?! 256 00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,982 [gulps] Shut up, bird. 257 00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:11,535 [Crackers] Hey. 258 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:12,533 Hey, wake up. [Ziegler snoring] 259 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,918 C'mon, rise and shine, Fritz. [gentle snoring] 260 00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:17,058 [annoyed sigh] [squawks] 261 00:13:17,086 --> 00:13:18,086 [Charlotte] Waaaghh! 262 00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:19,693 - Jesus, what?! - Was?! 263 00:13:19,722 --> 00:13:22,581 Easy! Easy! I'm supposed to give you this. 264 00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,574 - How is this bird talking?! - Right? 265 00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:29,247 Was zum Teufel ist... Oh, Schei?e! 266 00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:34,587 Nein, nein, nein, nein! Schei?kopf! 267 00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,767 _ 268 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,409 _ 269 00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:44,594 So, hey, what would a gal have to do to...? 270 00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:47,450 [door closes] Jesus, rude much?! 271 00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:48,676 I was going to ask how to get 272 00:13:48,673 --> 00:13:50,573 a ride out of here on one of their planes. 273 00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:52,434 Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath. 274 00:13:52,463 --> 00:13:55,057 Yeah, well, I wouldn't be a talking bird. 275 00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:59,091 _ 276 00:13:59,877 --> 00:14:03,979 [sniffs] _ 277 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,401 [sniffs] _ 278 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:11,163 [gentle snoring] 279 00:14:11,182 --> 00:14:13,115 Huzza...wuzza... 280 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,645 Where the...? Oh, what the shit?! 281 00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,771 [Archer] Heh, heh. Hey, sleepyhead. 282 00:14:17,799 --> 00:14:21,234 - Glad you could join us. - Why the hell am I in a... Owww! 283 00:14:21,257 --> 00:14:23,691 Christ on a bike! My head kills! 284 00:14:23,718 --> 00:14:26,418 [chuckling] Yeah, mine did too, to be honest. 285 00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:29,947 - Little hairy dog? - No, I... Wait a minute. 286 00:14:29,972 --> 00:14:32,069 - You hit me! - I lightly tapped you... 287 00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:34,297 You piece of shit, you hit me! 288 00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:36,424 - Only because you were right! - What?! 289 00:14:36,452 --> 00:14:38,952 I was gonna shoot Ziegler, you may not remember this 290 00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:40,563 'cause you have a concussion, 291 00:14:40,558 --> 00:14:42,140 but I was gonna shoot Ziegler, 292 00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,270 but you told me that was chickenshit, 293 00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:46,198 and so now we're gonna settle it up here, 294 00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:49,194 in a dogfight, in evenly matched planes! 295 00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:51,555 - Man to man! - And woman! 296 00:14:51,548 --> 00:14:53,347 Well, yeah, I needed a tailgunner, so... 297 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,576 - Goddamn it! - And so now's probably a good time 298 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:59,139 - to familiarize yourself with said gun... - Goddamn it! 299 00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:02,763 ...'cause if Crackers did what I told him to, it won't be long before... 300 00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:05,652 - [Ziegler over radio] Archer?! - Speak of the teufel... 301 00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:07,112 Come on up, Ziegler. 302 00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:09,622 See what it's like to fight somebody fair and squ... 303 00:15:09,648 --> 00:15:12,135 [Archer and Pam startled yelps] Say your prayers, Archer! 304 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,795 This time I will put you down once and for all! 305 00:15:14,821 --> 00:15:16,455 Pam, get your head outta your ass! 306 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:18,283 - Me?! - Your one job... 307 00:15:18,312 --> 00:15:20,646 ...is to shoot things coming at us from beh... 308 00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:22,674 Oh, shit! 309 00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:27,063 - Son of a... - [Pam] What was that? 310 00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:29,691 [Archer] Nothing. 311 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:31,251 [soldiers chattering in German] 312 00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:34,482 - I assume this was Sterling? - Yep, yep, yep. 313 00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:37,070 Mm-hmm. [sips] 314 00:15:40,224 --> 00:15:41,691 - Putamierda! - Goddamn it! 315 00:15:41,687 --> 00:15:43,387 [Ziegler laughing] It doesn't matter what you fly, 316 00:15:43,416 --> 00:15:48,051 - Archer, I will always beat you! - Oh, you couldn't beat... 317 00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:49,438 Hang on, I had something for th... 318 00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:52,101 - Ya wanna save the quips?! - It was pretty good! 319 00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:57,492 Oh, wait, so's that. 320 00:15:57,713 --> 00:16:00,548 [laughs hysterically] How do ya like that, Ziegler?! 321 00:16:00,539 --> 00:16:03,774 Heh. Who taught you how to shoot, your husband? 322 00:16:03,798 --> 00:16:05,165 [laughs] Will you shut up?! 323 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,762 It was pretty good! 324 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,557 All right, Archer, I am bored with this and with you. 325 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,784 Get ready to die. 326 00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:13,611 [shrieks] 327 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:18,242 Um...okay. 328 00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:20,575 - Was ist Los?! - Schei?e! Wir sind getroffen! 329 00:16:20,602 --> 00:16:21,922 [Ziegler] Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein... 330 00:16:21,918 --> 00:16:23,385 [speaks German] 331 00:16:23,381 --> 00:16:26,407 What the...? [Ziegler screams] 332 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,404 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hooo! 333 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,067 [laughing] Holy shit! 334 00:16:32,093 --> 00:16:33,826 - Did you see that?! - Yeah, I... 335 00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,122 I must've hit his fuel tank! 336 00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:37,118 - Wait, what? - Whoo-hoo! 337 00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:42,616 Million-to-one shot, but I did it! I finally beat Ziegler! 338 00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:46,168 - Yeah. Way to go. - [laugsh] Right?! 339 00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:48,223 But so now what? We can't go back to the island now, 340 00:16:48,252 --> 00:16:50,318 the krauts are gonna know this whole thing was you. 341 00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:51,447 You think I didn't think of that?! 342 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,111 Don't worry, I put Crackers on it. 343 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,005 [Fuchs] What in ze hell is going on here?! 344 00:16:57,030 --> 00:16:59,731 Well?! Someone had better tell me! 345 00:16:59,756 --> 00:17:03,726 Uh, yeah, so I was here, earlier, and I saw the whole thing, 346 00:17:03,713 --> 00:17:06,214 which was Ziegler and the other guy, 347 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,808 Schnell, who, come to find out, is his lover... 348 00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,231 - [all reactions of disbelief] Nein! - Yeah... 349 00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:14,529 So they stole the other two planes and set this one on fire, 350 00:17:14,518 --> 00:17:17,987 so nobody could follow them to Shanghai, 351 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:20,711 where they plan to open a cabaret, 352 00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:24,740 the unfortunately named "Scandals." [soldiers all exclaiming] 353 00:17:24,727 --> 00:17:27,894 Ooh, Scandals, that sounds fun, huh? 354 00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:29,485 - [speaking German] Morgen! - Hallo, Schatz! 355 00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:33,316 - [giggles] Hi, guys! - You're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 356 00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:36,774 - I'm surprised you can even walk. - What? Oh! 357 00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:38,563 God, no, they were all so drunk they thought 358 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:42,192 that jar of coconut butter was, you know, me. [chuckles] 359 00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:44,115 Oh. Oh! 360 00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:46,845 Well, as long as you charged everybody full price... 361 00:17:46,871 --> 00:17:48,204 Heh. Right? 362 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,735 Then you should have a lot of money to give me? 363 00:17:50,761 --> 00:17:53,362 Ah. About that... [scoffs] 364 00:17:53,387 --> 00:17:56,655 I've decided that from now on, I'm keeping all of it. 365 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,880 - Excuse me?! - Yeah, because your cop buddy 366 00:17:58,873 --> 00:18:00,207 lives in a barrel now, 367 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,839 and this stupid island is under an occupying power, 368 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:04,130 all of whom are heavily armed 369 00:18:04,127 --> 00:18:07,495 and basically totally in love with me. 370 00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:09,119 [panting] F?r dich, Fra?lein! 371 00:18:09,114 --> 00:18:11,614 Awww! 372 00:18:13,370 --> 00:18:17,705 So go make me some goddamn breakfast. 373 00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:20,092 [Archer] Besides, getting back to the island is like, 374 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,986 the one thing we don't have to worry about. 375 00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:24,582 Yeah exactly, so... Wait, what?! 376 00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:26,942 [engine seizes up] 377 00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:29,405 Damn it. Well, the good news is, 378 00:18:29,397 --> 00:18:31,263 at least it's a seaplane, right? 379 00:18:31,292 --> 00:18:33,793 - Well, I mean, it was... - What?! 380 00:18:33,785 --> 00:18:37,154 [Pam] Goddamn it! Goddamn it! If you... 381 00:18:37,143 --> 00:18:38,810 Oh, shut up! C'mon, if anybody 382 00:18:38,805 --> 00:18:41,373 can crash-land a plane, it's me, right? Huh? 383 00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,766 With all my experience? Pam? 384 00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:48,008 - Then get it over with! - Oh, okay, I guess just pout. 385 00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:49,915 - Pam. - I am! 386 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,678 Okay, then here goes! 387 00:18:51,707 --> 00:18:55,241 [both yelling] 388 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,932 [Archer grunts] 389 00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:01,162 [both scream] 390 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,383 [Archer] Whooo-hoo-hoo! 391 00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:04,476 Bocadas De mierda! 392 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:08,643 And did you see that, Pam?! Also perfect! 393 00:19:08,664 --> 00:19:10,798 Who wins? Huh? Archer wins! 394 00:19:10,825 --> 00:19:13,325 Yeah? This is a win for you? 395 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:16,587 Not just for me, Pam. For America. 396 00:19:17,575 --> 00:19:20,576 And those hapless Spanish communists. 397 00:19:20,566 --> 00:19:21,867 [music] 398 00:19:21,864 --> 00:19:26,867 - Well? So now what?! - So now, since we've only got one flare, 399 00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:28,384 I'm gonna shoot their leader with it, 400 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,881 and then when the rest of them go into a feeding frenzy, 401 00:19:30,907 --> 00:19:32,541 you and me are gonna make a run for it. 402 00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:34,870 - What?! - [chuckling] I'm kidding! 403 00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:38,065 You big dumb idiot. [flare gun shot] 404 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:40,724 [sighs] Ya know... 405 00:19:44,843 --> 00:19:46,843 [Archer chuckling] 406 00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:51,432 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 407 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:56,032 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31583

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