Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,844
LANA: No, I just wanna make sure
we're both totally clear about this.
2
00:00:06,929 --> 00:00:11,808
Yes, Lana, you've made it totally,
very nearly insultingly, clear.
3
00:00:11,976 --> 00:00:14,269
This is my parents
meeting their grandchild, and:
4
00:00:14,437 --> 00:00:16,646
"By the way, this is her father."
Yeah, it's...
5
00:00:16,814 --> 00:00:19,357
It's not meet my boyfriend,
it's not meet my future husband.
6
00:00:19,525 --> 00:00:22,611
Nobody's guessing who's coming to dinner.
Totally clear...
7
00:00:22,778 --> 00:00:24,654
ly insulting.
8
00:00:24,822 --> 00:00:26,031
[A.J. CRYING]
9
00:00:26,199 --> 00:00:28,658
LANA: So just to be clear, we're clear?
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:28,826 --> 00:00:30,035
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:30,203 --> 00:00:31,244
Hey, shut up.
12
00:00:31,412 --> 00:00:32,913
Sir, is there a problem here?
13
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,664
Yes, where the hell have you been?
14
00:00:34,832 --> 00:00:38,210
Here, and if you wanna save yourself
some trips, let's, uh, make it a pitcher.
15
00:00:38,377 --> 00:00:40,462
Uh, we don't even have pitchers, so...
16
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:43,757
I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe rinse out a little trash can.
17
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:49,304
Also, my parents aren't big drinkers. ARCHER:
Yeah, they're like huge nerds, right?
18
00:00:49,472 --> 00:00:51,181
Uh, no, they're academics.
19
00:00:51,349 --> 00:00:53,058
Tomato, tomato.
20
00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:56,728
LANA: My mom, Claudette, is a professor
of public policy at UC Berkeley...
21
00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:58,813
...with a focus on feminist issues.
Yikes.
22
00:00:58,981 --> 00:01:01,816
Glad I didn't waste suitcase space
on that barrel of monkeys.
23
00:01:01,984 --> 00:01:04,611
Shut up. And my father, Lemuel,
is a microbiologist...
24
00:01:04,779 --> 00:01:07,322
...who might be up for the Nobel Prize.
Holy shit.
25
00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:08,823
Yeah, right?
Right.
26
00:01:08,991 --> 00:01:10,533
What happened to you?
27
00:01:10,826 --> 00:01:14,162
LANA:
Oh, and one more, like, tiny thing?
28
00:01:15,498 --> 00:01:17,165
ARCHER:
Swear to God, last one till dinner.
29
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:18,375
[CAN OPENS]
30
00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:20,335
Not that. Although, what the shit?
31
00:01:20,503 --> 00:01:23,171
I'm actually kind of nervous.
Ugh.
32
00:01:23,339 --> 00:01:24,422
Me too, actually.
33
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:26,049
[LANA GULPING]
34
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:29,761
Because my parents think
I'm still working on my PhD at Columbia...
35
00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:30,971
[LANA BURPS]
36
00:01:31,138 --> 00:01:34,724
...in environmental science.
What? They don't know you're a spy?
37
00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:37,852
No, and if you tell them I am,
I will literally murder you...
38
00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:41,523
...wait, in front of
our very own infant child.
39
00:01:41,691 --> 00:01:43,233
[ARCHER BURPS]
40
00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:48,530
So serious up, because they're not crazy about
this whole arrangement, so, ah, serious up.
41
00:01:48,698 --> 00:01:50,991
Lana, once I meet them,
I'm sure they'll find me...
42
00:01:51,158 --> 00:01:53,910
[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
...utterly charming.
43
00:01:54,078 --> 00:01:55,829
You have met them.
44
00:01:55,997 --> 00:01:58,623
Yes, he's getting his master's too
and he's nice and...
45
00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,500
I said that already. And...
46
00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:02,919
I'm sure he's just caught in traffic.
47
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:07,841
Hm. He could've walked here by now.
If it's gonna be that kind of party...
48
00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:11,970
...et cetera, et cetera, mashed potatoes.
49
00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:13,430
Whoo!
50
00:02:14,473 --> 00:02:16,057
[CLATTERING]
51
00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:30,030
[ARCHER LAUGHS]
52
00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:33,116
Oh. Did they find me utterly charming?
53
00:02:33,284 --> 00:02:34,326
Hey.
LANA: Hi.
54
00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:35,827
Oh.
Look who's here.
55
00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:38,455
Let me have my grandbaby.
56
00:02:38,622 --> 00:02:42,334
And, um, you remember Archer?
Yes, of course.
57
00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:45,879
We've got the mashed potatoes
just the way you like them.
58
00:02:46,047 --> 00:02:48,590
Ninety-eight-point-six.
59
00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:30,632
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
60
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,759
[A.J. COOS THEN CLAUDETTE CHUCKLES]
61
00:03:32,927 --> 00:03:36,930
Oh, Lana, you have made
a beautiful baby.
62
00:03:37,098 --> 00:03:40,141
Well, we sort of both...
Would agree with that statement.
63
00:03:40,309 --> 00:03:42,852
Lana can speak for herself.
Yep.
64
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:44,687
So any news?
65
00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:46,856
Um, I had a baby?
66
00:03:47,024 --> 00:03:48,775
Oh, honey, I'm talking
about your studies.
67
00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:51,486
Yes, Lana. When on earth
are you planning...
68
00:03:51,654 --> 00:03:53,655
...to finish your dissertation?
Yeah.
69
00:03:53,823 --> 00:03:55,073
Don't do that.
Nope.
70
00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:59,327
Because you're taking your time as well.
What is it you're studying?
71
00:03:59,495 --> 00:04:02,997
Um, medieval Slavic history.
72
00:04:03,165 --> 00:04:05,041
Really? Oh, that must be fascinating.
73
00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:07,085
Well, everybody thinks that, but...
74
00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:10,755
So tell me, what are your thoughts
on the Battle of Kosovo of 1389?
75
00:04:12,925 --> 00:04:14,134
No opinion.
76
00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:17,971
Well, not even as it applies
to the rise of modern Serbian nationalism?
77
00:04:18,139 --> 00:04:22,767
Mm, nope. Also, that's a bit reductionist.
78
00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:25,186
But enough about you, am I right?
79
00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:27,689
Daddy, tell us about your research.
80
00:04:27,857 --> 00:04:29,858
Well, algae is always challenging.
81
00:04:30,025 --> 00:04:31,609
Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.
82
00:04:31,777 --> 00:04:33,194
Don't do that.
Nope.
83
00:04:33,362 --> 00:04:35,780
His research is going extremely well.
84
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:37,323
And in the near future...
85
00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:41,119
...you may be spending a lot less time
and money at gas stations.
86
00:04:41,287 --> 00:04:42,328
[LANA GASPS]
87
00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:44,122
You're buying us motorcycles?
No.
88
00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:45,957
Daddy's been working on...
Lana?
89
00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:48,209
Mom, it's fine. Archer is, um...
90
00:04:48,377 --> 00:04:50,628
Lana, it's okay. You can say "family."
91
00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:54,299
I... Well, I thought I could,
but I honestly don't know if I can.
92
00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:55,633
Wow.
93
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:56,843
[A.J. CRYING]
94
00:04:57,011 --> 00:04:59,387
Great, now you made the baby cry.
That was you.
95
00:04:59,555 --> 00:05:02,599
Lana, here, take the child.
I'm not sure which end needs attention.
96
00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:06,060
But while you check on that,
your father and I will check on dinner.
97
00:05:06,228 --> 00:05:08,980
And I will check on that hot tub.
98
00:05:09,148 --> 00:05:10,565
PAM:
Seriously?
99
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,401
Are you fricking serious?
100
00:05:14,069 --> 00:05:15,820
KRIEGER:
Um...
101
00:05:17,156 --> 00:05:18,198
Yes.
102
00:05:18,365 --> 00:05:19,699
CYRIL: Goddamn it, Krieger.
PAM: My God.
103
00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:23,369
So now we gotta forfeit league night?
How the hell did you run out of gas?
104
00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:26,706
Yeah, especially in... Where even are we?
105
00:05:26,874 --> 00:05:29,375
KRIEGER: Mm, Brownsville?
CYRIL: Hey, whoa.
106
00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:32,545
It may be a bit rundown,
but there's no need to be racist.
107
00:05:32,713 --> 00:05:34,672
No, not because of African-Americans.
108
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,966
Brownsville's just the name, dipnuts.
109
00:05:37,134 --> 00:05:40,803
Yeah, which doesn't really make sense,
because this all used to be Jewtown.
110
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:42,388
KRIEGER: Goddamn, dude.
CYRIL: Not cool.
111
00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:43,598
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
112
00:05:43,766 --> 00:05:45,767
Oh, please, you people invented racism.
113
00:05:45,935 --> 00:05:48,061
Also, you're just
a reconstructed light-field...
114
00:05:48,229 --> 00:05:50,313
...produced by firing a laser
through a beam-splitter.
115
00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:51,523
[GASPS]
116
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,024
Whoa!
Yeah, dude.
117
00:05:53,192 --> 00:05:54,859
Not cool.
ARCHER: Hot.
118
00:05:55,152 --> 00:05:56,861
Hot, hot, hot.
119
00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:59,739
LEMUEL: How is it?
Oh, it is hot, Lem.
120
00:05:59,907 --> 00:06:04,285
Can I call you Lem?
Of course you may. Absolutely.
121
00:06:04,453 --> 00:06:06,287
But it's actually pronounced Dr. Kane.
122
00:06:06,455 --> 00:06:07,789
ARCHER: Ah.
LEMUEL: Mm.
123
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,833
Ah...
LEMUEL: Mm...
124
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,877
Ah...
Hm.
125
00:06:13,045 --> 00:06:15,505
Well, Lana's feeding the baby.
126
00:06:15,673 --> 00:06:17,173
How is it?
Hot.
127
00:06:17,341 --> 00:06:19,592
Actually almost too hot,
now that you...
128
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,221
I'm actually gonna hop out, so...
Nonsense. You stay right there.
129
00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:25,974
Ah... Huh. Ahem.
130
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,976
CLAUDETTE:
Mm... Oh.
131
00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:31,145
Isn't this just so relaxing?
Is it?
132
00:06:31,313 --> 00:06:33,982
Well, nudity is our natural state.
133
00:06:34,149 --> 00:06:35,984
He's not nude.
What?
134
00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,443
Then why are you in here?
135
00:06:37,611 --> 00:06:40,822
I was just asking myself the same...
That's ridiculous.
136
00:06:40,990 --> 00:06:43,533
You have to be naked.
Otherwise, it's pointless.
137
00:06:43,701 --> 00:06:45,868
Is it?
Trunks, young man. Trunks.
138
00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:47,954
Okay.
139
00:06:48,122 --> 00:06:50,623
There. Now, that's not so hard, is it?
140
00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:52,875
So do you guys do phrasing or...?
141
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:55,837
And now that we're all
skyclad, as they say...
142
00:06:56,005 --> 00:06:59,632
...we have something very special
we'd like to share with you.
143
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,260
Wait, what?
But just between us three.
144
00:07:02,428 --> 00:07:04,304
There's no reason
to tell Lana about it.
145
00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:08,683
No, she might not, uh, approve.
146
00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:10,602
Oh, God.
147
00:07:10,769 --> 00:07:14,397
Okay, but just so you know,
I've never worn a condom, ever.
148
00:07:14,565 --> 00:07:18,276
And, Lem, obviously the implicit agreement
between you and I...
149
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:21,195
...is that at no time
will our penises touch.
150
00:07:21,363 --> 00:07:22,947
But I'd also appreciate it...
151
00:07:23,115 --> 00:07:28,161
...if, um, you didn't make eye contact,
you know, with me during...
152
00:07:28,996 --> 00:07:32,123
Did I misread the...?
153
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,463
I...
LANA: No.
154
00:07:38,631 --> 00:07:40,548
No. You do not talk.
155
00:07:40,716 --> 00:07:45,136
In fact, first thing tomorrow, you're going
to the vet to have your vocal chords clipped.
156
00:07:45,804 --> 00:07:48,806
How about just put to sleep?
157
00:07:52,478 --> 00:07:56,689
ARCHER: Because who gets in a hot tub naked
with an almost complete stranger?
158
00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:59,567
Because everybody?
Because Berkeley?
159
00:07:59,735 --> 00:08:03,404
That's... How does an entire city
get a pass on acceptable behavior?
160
00:08:03,572 --> 00:08:05,156
LEMUEL:
Acceptable behavior?
161
00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:08,409
From the man who tried to have
a threesome with me and my wife.
162
00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:10,411
I was being polite.
163
00:08:10,579 --> 00:08:13,873
Wha...? How is that polite?
Because I thought that's what they wanted.
164
00:08:14,041 --> 00:08:17,418
They said they wanted to share
a special secret with me, so...
165
00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:19,087
Wait, what special secret?
166
00:08:19,254 --> 00:08:21,464
What? Why is he even still here?
Daddy...
167
00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,049
Look, the man's an ass-bucket.
168
00:08:23,217 --> 00:08:24,592
CLAUDETTE: Aah!
What the...?
169
00:08:24,927 --> 00:08:27,095
Hey, don't look at me, I'm not...
The baby.
170
00:08:27,262 --> 00:08:28,471
Oh, shit.
171
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:29,681
Oh, dear God.
LANA: Mom!
172
00:08:29,848 --> 00:08:32,433
LEMUEL: Claudette!
I'm in here. In the study.
173
00:08:32,601 --> 00:08:35,061
Where is A.J.?
She's fine. She's upstairs, but...
174
00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:36,729
What the hell happened?
175
00:08:36,897 --> 00:08:38,231
LEMUEL:
Oh, my God. My research.
176
00:08:38,774 --> 00:08:41,109
[BOTH GRUNTING]
177
00:08:42,695 --> 00:08:47,699
Oh. All my research, my data, my notes,
all my samples, all my years of work.
178
00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:48,908
It's all gone.
179
00:08:49,076 --> 00:08:51,619
Why would anyone want mildew?
Algae!
180
00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:53,287
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
181
00:08:53,455 --> 00:08:54,497
[ENGINE STARTS]
182
00:08:58,419 --> 00:09:01,337
Oh, my God, are you shitting me?
With a baby in the house?
183
00:09:01,672 --> 00:09:05,675
Why do you have a gun?
What, seriously? For this.
184
00:09:05,843 --> 00:09:07,677
[TIRES SCREECHING]
185
00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:11,305
[ARCHER LAUGHING]
186
00:09:11,473 --> 00:09:12,932
[A.J. CRYING THEN ARCHER SIGHS]
187
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,727
Great.
Lana, what is the meaning of this?
188
00:09:15,894 --> 00:09:17,687
Why does he have a gun?
189
00:09:17,855 --> 00:09:19,981
Okay, so...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
190
00:09:20,149 --> 00:09:23,818
Come on, are we not even gonna address
how amazing that shot was?
191
00:09:23,986 --> 00:09:25,027
Not now, Archer, I'm...
192
00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:26,237
[CAR DOOR OPENS]
193
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:28,239
Oh, shit.
ARCHER: Yeah.
194
00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:31,075
If you wanna catch those guys
and get your mildew back...
195
00:09:31,243 --> 00:09:33,911
It's algae.
Yeah, take that tone.
196
00:09:34,079 --> 00:09:35,288
You got a car?
What?
197
00:09:35,456 --> 00:09:37,206
Yes, but... But... But...
198
00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:39,500
Get your shit together, Lem.
199
00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,043
Be a lamb and watch the baby?
200
00:09:41,211 --> 00:09:42,295
[ENGINE STARTS]
201
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:44,297
Lana, this is all just crazy.
202
00:09:44,465 --> 00:09:47,675
Why does he have a gun?
And why is he driving? I should be driving.
203
00:09:47,843 --> 00:09:50,845
No, Daddy, Archer should drive.
He's actually pretty great at it.
204
00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:52,889
Meep. Meep. Meep.
205
00:09:53,056 --> 00:09:56,100
When he's not busy ejaculating.
Not in my Mustang, you don't.
206
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:57,310
[ENGINE REVVING]
207
00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:59,228
But seriously, what's wrong with him?
208
00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:02,523
Guys, this is... This is
the... The car from...
209
00:10:02,691 --> 00:10:03,983
Bullitt. We know.
210
00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:07,528
And if you'd go already, maybe later
I'll dress up like Steve McQueen for you.
211
00:10:07,696 --> 00:10:10,031
Ew. That's not even what it's about.
212
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:11,783
Plus your hands are too big.
Go.
213
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:14,994
Speaking of McQueen, if there was
ever a time to wear the Tactleneck...
214
00:10:15,162 --> 00:10:17,121
Go!
Okay, hang on.
215
00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:18,331
LEMUEL:
Easy. Easy.
216
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,709
KRIEGER:
Easy.
217
00:10:21,877 --> 00:10:24,003
Easy.
218
00:10:24,171 --> 00:10:27,215
Easy.
Will you shut up?
219
00:10:27,382 --> 00:10:29,467
We're only going one mile an hour.
220
00:10:29,635 --> 00:10:31,469
CHERYL:
If that. Jesus.
221
00:10:31,637 --> 00:10:35,389
Oh, shush and push.
You guys all better be pushing back there.
222
00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:38,142
CYRIL: We are.
I'm pushing. Swearsie, realsies.
223
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,393
Son of a bitch!
224
00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:42,772
Then I don't know why this heap of shit's
not going faster.
225
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:45,525
Well, first of all,
I think you mean heap of bitching.
226
00:10:45,692 --> 00:10:48,736
And second of all... Hang on.
227
00:10:49,112 --> 00:10:52,073
Wha...? The fricking brake was on?
228
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:54,033
[CHERYL LAUGHING]
229
00:10:54,201 --> 00:10:55,243
God!
230
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:58,371
Damn it, Archer!
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Whoo!
231
00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:01,332
LANA: Archer...
LEMUEL: You're going too fast, you idiot.
232
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,502
ARCHER: Idiot? Who kept his life's work
in his fricking house...
233
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,255
...apparently without any kind of backup
whatsoever?
234
00:11:07,422 --> 00:11:09,507
Uh, yeah, that's actually a good point.
235
00:11:09,675 --> 00:11:12,802
I couldn't keep my work at the lab.
It's potentially worth billions.
236
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,221
People would literally kill for it.
237
00:11:15,389 --> 00:11:17,181
[GUNFIRE]
238
00:11:17,599 --> 00:11:20,560
Case in point.
Well, even if I'm not family...
239
00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:22,728
LANA:
Oh, my God. Okay.
240
00:11:24,106 --> 00:11:25,815
What's the deal with this algae?
241
00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:29,318
I found a way to use it as biofuel.
242
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,696
Am I supposed to know
what that means or...?
243
00:11:31,864 --> 00:11:35,283
As a replacement for fossil fuels.
Oh.
244
00:11:35,617 --> 00:11:38,411
Oh, my God.
Duh-hoi.
245
00:11:38,579 --> 00:11:41,497
LEMUEL: Under the right conditions,
the algae reproduce infinitely.
246
00:11:41,665 --> 00:11:44,292
And the only by-product of burning it
is water.
247
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:47,628
Holy shit. I'm surprised
nobody's killed you already.
248
00:11:47,796 --> 00:11:49,547
LEMUEL:
I had to keep my research a secret.
249
00:11:49,715 --> 00:11:52,675
Can you imagine what this would mean
to Big Oil or OPEC?
250
00:11:52,843 --> 00:11:54,719
Well, there's no need to be racist.
251
00:11:54,887 --> 00:11:58,681
How is the acronym for the Organization
of Petroleum Exporting Countries racist?
252
00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:00,224
ARCHER:
Oh, that's what that means?
253
00:12:00,392 --> 00:12:01,893
[GUNFIRE]
254
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,477
Goddamn it.
255
00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:06,564
This is an American icon!
256
00:12:07,149 --> 00:12:09,483
You Philistines!
257
00:12:09,651 --> 00:12:13,529
Hey, I know, let's, uh,
tea-bag Dr. Seuss.
258
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:16,949
Great idea. I'll hold him down.
Mm. Wha...?
259
00:12:17,159 --> 00:12:19,035
Look, I've told you about my research.
260
00:12:19,202 --> 00:12:21,495
How about telling me
why the hell you carry a gun?
261
00:12:21,663 --> 00:12:24,999
Yeah, speaking of, I'm out.
Let me hold yours while you reload me.
262
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,792
Hold your what?
Uh...
263
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:31,756
Lana, come on, zona peligrosa.
What is he talking about?
264
00:12:33,050 --> 00:12:34,842
[LANA SIGHS]
265
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,302
What in the...?
266
00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:39,180
Lana Anthony Kane.
Okay, so...
267
00:12:39,348 --> 00:12:41,015
[ARCHER LAUGHING]
268
00:12:41,183 --> 00:12:43,434
Anthony?
After Susan B.
269
00:12:43,602 --> 00:12:46,187
Oh, right, our ugliest president.
270
00:12:46,355 --> 00:12:48,439
Lana, why the hell do you have a gun?
271
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:50,149
That's not how we raised you.
272
00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:52,401
LANA:
I know, Daddy. I know.
273
00:12:52,569 --> 00:12:55,112
So about my PhD...
274
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,573
[ARCHER CHUCKLING]
275
00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,200
How is this funny?
276
00:12:59,368 --> 00:13:01,577
Wha...? What, seriously?
277
00:13:01,745 --> 00:13:04,205
Um, in every possible way.
278
00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:18,552
LEMUEL: You're a spy?
LANA: Yes, but I can explain.
279
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,846
ARCHER:
Whoo-hoo!
280
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:24,183
You're going to explain lying to me
and your mother all these years.
281
00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:28,521
And could you please not drive my Mustang
like a complete ass-bucket?
282
00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:31,607
Okay, Lem, I think maybe
you're transferring a little.
283
00:13:31,775 --> 00:13:34,360
You're not angry at me,
you're angry at Lana.
284
00:13:34,528 --> 00:13:36,862
I'm well aware of at whom I'm angry.
285
00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:38,948
[GUNFIRE]
286
00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:42,618
But thank you for reminding him.
Yeah, think of me as a mediator.
287
00:13:44,496 --> 00:13:47,164
And spying for whom exactly?
288
00:13:47,332 --> 00:13:50,209
I hope it's for America.
Who else would I be spying for?
289
00:13:50,377 --> 00:13:53,254
How should I know?
All of a sudden, I'm talking to a stranger.
290
00:13:53,422 --> 00:13:55,589
Lana, how does that make you feel?
291
00:13:55,757 --> 00:13:58,259
Like I'm gonna shoot you?
292
00:13:58,427 --> 00:14:00,052
Yeah, get in line.
293
00:14:01,596 --> 00:14:03,139
Daddy, of course it's America.
294
00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:07,601
Long story short, these days
we're sort of contractors for the CIA.
295
00:14:07,769 --> 00:14:08,936
The CIA?
296
00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:12,606
Did you drop in on your way to overthrow
a democratically elected government?
297
00:14:12,774 --> 00:14:15,943
Lem, let's try to avoid using sarcasm.
I wasn't.
298
00:14:16,111 --> 00:14:19,447
You see? This is why I never told you.
I knew you wouldn't understand.
299
00:14:19,614 --> 00:14:21,741
Because you could've been
a great scientist.
300
00:14:21,908 --> 00:14:24,118
How could you throw away
your God-given talent?
301
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,165
But it wasn't my talent, Daddy.
302
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:36,630
You and Mom just wanted it to be.
Oh, come on now.
303
00:14:36,798 --> 00:14:39,050
You used to love going
to all those science fairs.
304
00:14:39,217 --> 00:14:43,304
I used to hate it. Remember, I always
threw up in the car on the way there?
305
00:14:43,472 --> 00:14:46,057
[RETCHING]
306
00:14:46,224 --> 00:14:47,475
I'm sorry.
307
00:14:48,435 --> 00:14:50,603
Oh, goddamn it.
Lemuel.
308
00:14:50,771 --> 00:14:52,646
LEMUEL: From excitement.
LANA: From terror.
309
00:14:52,814 --> 00:14:55,566
I was always so afraid
of letting you and Mom down...
310
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:58,319
...that I couldn't ever
tell you how I felt.
311
00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:00,279
Hey, come on now.
312
00:15:00,447 --> 00:15:02,156
You could never let us down, honey.
313
00:15:02,324 --> 00:15:03,574
I hope you know that.
314
00:15:03,742 --> 00:15:04,784
[LANA SNIFFS]
315
00:15:04,951 --> 00:15:08,579
Really?
Oh, Lana, we'll always be proud of you.
316
00:15:08,747 --> 00:15:14,001
And we'll always love you, even when you make
stupid, stupid, stupid choices like him.
317
00:15:14,169 --> 00:15:15,211
Aw.
318
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:18,464
Well, I think we've made
some real progress here.
319
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,384
And I'd say we've got about 30 seconds
before the engine locks up.
320
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:25,221
So does anyone have a plan?
321
00:15:25,388 --> 00:15:26,597
Anyone?
322
00:15:26,765 --> 00:15:28,849
Guys, come on,
there's no dumb ideas.
323
00:15:29,017 --> 00:15:30,059
[CHERYL GASPS]
324
00:15:30,227 --> 00:15:31,727
What if we grease the tires?
325
00:15:31,895 --> 00:15:34,522
How would that possibly help?
326
00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:35,731
[CHERYL INHALES THEN BURPS]
327
00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:36,941
[CHERYL MUMBLES]
328
00:15:37,109 --> 00:15:40,361
Hey, yeah, toss out all your empties.
That'll get rid of some weight, huh?
329
00:15:40,529 --> 00:15:42,404
[PAM GRUNTING]
330
00:15:42,572 --> 00:15:44,949
Toss out everything.
331
00:15:45,117 --> 00:15:48,035
We gotta get rid of some of this weight.
332
00:15:48,203 --> 00:15:50,454
CYRIL: Well, the speakers
are obviously the... No!
333
00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:51,789
For the love of God, man...
334
00:15:51,957 --> 00:15:54,250
...are you quite literally insane?
Sorry.
335
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:55,459
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
336
00:15:55,627 --> 00:15:58,003
Shut up.
What about all these bowling balls?
337
00:15:58,171 --> 00:15:59,505
What? Yes!
338
00:15:59,673 --> 00:16:03,092
You ding-dongs.
Throw out the goddamn bowling balls.
339
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:04,969
Okay. Jesus.
340
00:16:05,137 --> 00:16:07,596
[GRUNTING]
341
00:16:08,723 --> 00:16:10,057
Oh.
342
00:16:10,225 --> 00:16:11,851
[CHERYL LAUGHING]
343
00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:14,645
[RAP-METAL MUSIC
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
344
00:16:14,813 --> 00:16:15,855
[SIGHS]
345
00:16:16,022 --> 00:16:17,398
And that's how they all died.
346
00:16:18,191 --> 00:16:20,442
LEMUEL:
That's your plan? To ram it?
347
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:22,653
ARCHER:
Yeah, it's called a pit maneuver.
348
00:16:22,821 --> 00:16:24,947
I've done it like a million times.
349
00:16:25,407 --> 00:16:26,532
Like three times.
350
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,993
When they crash,
they're gonna come out firing.
351
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:30,953
Get down on the floor and stay there.
352
00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:34,165
What about you?
Don't worry about me. This is what I do.
353
00:16:34,332 --> 00:16:35,791
I'm actually pretty great at it.
354
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:38,836
Eh...
Shut up. Daddy, floor.
355
00:16:39,004 --> 00:16:40,588
Okay, hang on.
356
00:16:41,965 --> 00:16:43,090
Wait, hang on.
What?
357
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:45,551
Lem, what was the special thing?
What?
358
00:16:45,719 --> 00:16:46,802
In the hot tub.
359
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:49,430
The less said about the hot-tub incident,
the better.
360
00:16:49,598 --> 00:16:52,641
Shut up. What's the special thing
you two wanted to share with me?
361
00:16:52,809 --> 00:16:54,393
The Kane family reunion.
362
00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:55,769
Wait, what?
Yeah.
363
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:57,605
We do it every year. It's huge.
364
00:16:57,772 --> 00:17:01,317
And we told her to invite you, but...
Daddy.
365
00:17:01,484 --> 00:17:05,613
Lana, the man may be a total idiot,
but he is the father of your child.
366
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,156
Yeah, Lana.
367
00:17:07,324 --> 00:17:10,326
So are we talking like a barbecue or...?
Archer.
368
00:17:10,493 --> 00:17:12,161
Okay. Lana.
369
00:17:20,462 --> 00:17:23,923
And if it's a barbecue, are the Kanes
a brisket crowd or pulled pork?
370
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,758
[GUNFIRE]
371
00:17:25,926 --> 00:17:28,677
Brisket.
Ah. Lame.
372
00:17:29,679 --> 00:17:31,847
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
373
00:17:32,015 --> 00:17:34,099
Please don't... Darryl?
374
00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:37,228
Pam?
Oh, my God.
375
00:17:37,395 --> 00:17:41,941
I used to beat this bitch's ass
at fight club, like, all the time.
376
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:43,609
CYRIL: What's up?
KRIEGER: Hey, guys.
377
00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:45,069
Pfft. Like, three times.
378
00:17:45,237 --> 00:17:47,738
And why you throwing bowling balls
in the damn street?
379
00:17:47,906 --> 00:17:49,490
Long story, funny story...
380
00:17:49,658 --> 00:17:53,827
...and I'll tell you guys all about it over
beers at the nearest titty bar, my treat.
381
00:17:53,995 --> 00:17:56,080
Titties ain't gonna fix my car, Poovey.
382
00:17:56,248 --> 00:17:58,499
No, but Beardsly McBugeyes
over there will...
383
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:02,836
...and he'll install a nitrous tank so you don't
have to drive around town like a giant pussy.
384
00:18:03,004 --> 00:18:05,756
Won't you, Krieger?
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
385
00:18:05,924 --> 00:18:08,717
So come on, let's go make it rain Pammy.
386
00:18:08,885 --> 00:18:10,010
What about them?
387
00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:11,929
Oh. Honestly don't care.
388
00:18:12,097 --> 00:18:13,305
[GUNFIRE]
389
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:27,403
Reloading. Archer, cover me.
390
00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:29,822
Wait, what? Archer?
391
00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,448
What the...?
Slater?
392
00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:32,658
[SIGHS]
393
00:18:32,826 --> 00:18:34,618
Ta-da.
394
00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:36,287
LANA:
With a baby in the house?
395
00:18:36,454 --> 00:18:37,997
We didn't know you were there.
396
00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:41,625
Which was obviously
an operational failure on our end.
397
00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:43,544
Ethan.
ARCHER: Yeah, Ethan.
398
00:18:43,712 --> 00:18:46,964
And don't be shitty, Archer, you dick.
You killed one of my guys.
399
00:18:47,132 --> 00:18:48,841
Yeah, was that shot not insane?
400
00:18:49,009 --> 00:18:53,304
What is insane is the CIA stealing
my father's research, Slater. Why?
401
00:18:53,722 --> 00:18:58,058
Because, Dr. Kane, your research
has jeopardized our national security.
402
00:18:58,226 --> 00:19:00,477
What? What do you mean? How?
403
00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:04,857
If you think the Middle East is messed up
now, just wait until nobody needs their oil.
404
00:19:05,025 --> 00:19:06,734
Man, you guys are so big picture.
405
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:07,943
No, wait, you can't.
406
00:19:08,111 --> 00:19:11,071
That was a lifetime of work for my father.
Yeah. Yeah.
407
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:14,783
Dr. Kane, do you have online banking?
I... Yes, but...
408
00:19:14,951 --> 00:19:17,786
So if you wanna go ahead
and check your account balance...?
409
00:19:19,998 --> 00:19:23,625
Huh. I can tell you right now,
this doesn't come anywhere close...
410
00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:27,713
That amount direct-deposited every month
for the rest of your life.
411
00:19:28,298 --> 00:19:29,423
Every month?
412
00:19:29,591 --> 00:19:32,926
Well, Mr. Slater, I...
I think we got ourselves a deal.
413
00:19:33,094 --> 00:19:37,139
Daddy, no. What about the algae
so we don't have to burn fossil fuels?
414
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:40,225
Honey, forget about fossil fuels.
We're gonna be able to burn money.
415
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:42,311
[LEMUEL LAUGHS THEN LANA SIGHS]
416
00:19:42,479 --> 00:19:45,564
Happy?
What, like, in general?
417
00:19:46,232 --> 00:19:48,108
Because yes.
418
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:53,822
So listen, I wanna thank you
for trying to save my dad's research.
419
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:56,950
Even though I'm still furious
about the hot-tub incident...
420
00:19:57,118 --> 00:19:59,078
...and will be for years to come...
421
00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:03,248
...I can see how you, you Archer,
could have misconstrued the situation.
422
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,293
Even though it's hard for me
to admit it, you are family to me.
423
00:20:06,461 --> 00:20:07,544
Not just because of A.J.
424
00:20:07,712 --> 00:20:13,133
And I realize now that I should have invited
you to the family reunion, and so I'm sorry.
425
00:20:13,301 --> 00:20:14,802
Sorry that I hurt your feelings.
426
00:20:14,969 --> 00:20:16,970
Well, thanks.
427
00:20:17,138 --> 00:20:19,431
I accept your apology.
428
00:20:26,564 --> 00:20:29,358
Sorry I tried to spit-roast your mom.
429
00:20:29,408 --> 00:20:33,958
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33152
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
