Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,861
LANA: I don't know, it just feels weird.
ARCHER: That's just the altitude, dummy.
2
00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:11,239
LANA: I'm talking about the... ARCHER:
Try popping your ears. Go like this:
3
00:00:11,407 --> 00:00:13,950
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
4
00:00:14,118 --> 00:00:16,494
Goddamn it, it's not my ears.
What?
5
00:00:16,662 --> 00:00:18,204
Sorry, my ears won't pop.
6
00:00:18,372 --> 00:00:19,414
[SIGHS]
7
00:00:19,582 --> 00:00:20,916
Ray, did you bring gum?
No.
8
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:24,085
Well, great, trip's ruined.
Sorry, Ray forgot to bring gum...
9
00:00:24,253 --> 00:00:28,632
I'm talking about the fact that we're about
to climb a Swiss goddamn fricking Alp...
10
00:00:28,799 --> 00:00:30,175
...to assassinate somebody!
11
00:00:30,343 --> 00:00:34,930
The target's an assassin, Lana,
not a king or a pope or a vice-pope.
12
00:00:35,097 --> 00:00:38,850
So it's not assassination.
It's just an extrajudicial killing.
13
00:00:39,018 --> 00:00:40,185
And that makes it better.
14
00:00:40,353 --> 00:00:43,021
Yes, that's why they made up
a whole different word for it.
15
00:00:43,189 --> 00:00:46,858
And the CIA told Mother the target
has killed judges and prosecutors...
16
00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:49,819
...and bankers and generals
all over the world...
17
00:00:49,987 --> 00:00:53,239
...so God knows how many actual
assassinations we'll be preventing.
18
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:56,117
Of course your mother would
do anything to impress the CIA.
19
00:00:56,285 --> 00:00:59,704
So...
Oh, my God. You have to try this.
20
00:00:59,872 --> 00:01:04,751
Hot cocoa, dark cr�me de cacao, hint of
creme de menthe, and peppermint schnapps.
21
00:01:04,919 --> 00:01:07,837
I call it a Peppermint Patty. Here.
22
00:01:08,464 --> 00:01:11,091
Wow, that is your major loss.
Ooh, can I try it?
23
00:01:11,258 --> 00:01:14,219
No. How hard is it to remember gum?
24
00:01:14,387 --> 00:01:17,097
Okay, so tonight we infiltrate
this swanky climbing party.
25
00:01:17,264 --> 00:01:19,683
Then tomorrow we extra-judicially
kill this guy.
26
00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:20,934
ARCHER:
Yeah, or woman.
27
00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:22,435
LANA: Excuse me?
RAY: What, what?
28
00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:26,731
We kill whoever it is.
You don't know who the target is?
29
00:01:26,899 --> 00:01:29,067
I mean...
Oh, goddamn it.
30
00:01:29,235 --> 00:01:32,153
And since you obviously didn't
read the mission dossier...
31
00:01:32,321 --> 00:01:35,490
For your information, Lana,
I skimmed it.
32
00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:38,076
And bully for you. Give it here.
33
00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:39,411
[SIGHS HAPPILY]
34
00:01:39,578 --> 00:01:41,579
Goddamn it. Where the hell is it?
35
00:01:41,747 --> 00:01:46,042
I assume on the back of my toilet. What,
Lana? Look at all the shit I had to pack.
36
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:49,129
I don't know what people are gonna
be wearing for apr�s-mont�.
37
00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:51,006
And Ray didn't bring the gum.
38
00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:52,507
[LANA GROWLS]
39
00:01:53,259 --> 00:01:54,592
[SIGHS HAPPILY]
40
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,511
Witch.
41
00:02:00,349 --> 00:02:04,227
Just like every car trip
I ever took with Mom and Daddy.
42
00:02:04,812 --> 00:02:07,689
Only I'm not getting
whipped with a fan belt.
43
00:02:08,941 --> 00:02:11,901
Lana, wait. I just remembered
a crucial detail about the target.
44
00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:14,320
I made a mental note
of it at the time.
45
00:02:14,822 --> 00:02:19,075
Oh! Oh, my.
And you must be our late reservations.
46
00:02:19,243 --> 00:02:23,455
Good to see some fellow Americans.
I'm your guide, Crash McCarran.
47
00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:26,041
Is, um...? I thought
there were three of you.
48
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:29,127
One of us is weeping in the car.
Oh. Uh...
49
00:02:29,295 --> 00:02:30,253
Okay, well, come on in...
50
00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:33,173
...and meet the rest of the climbing party.
That's Hans Hessler from Germany.
51
00:02:34,592 --> 00:02:35,300
Guten Abend.
52
00:02:35,468 --> 00:02:38,094
CRASH: Mario Savino, from Italy.
Buonasera.
53
00:02:38,262 --> 00:02:41,765
CRASH: And Michiko Ishikawa from Japan.
Konbanwa.
54
00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:46,603
We're heading into the bar for some gluhwein.
Why don't you join us when you're ready?
55
00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:50,482
Well? What's this crucial detail
you remembered about the target?
56
00:02:50,649 --> 00:02:56,029
The target was from a country that,
in World War Two, was an Axis power.
57
00:02:56,197 --> 00:02:57,530
[SIGHS]
58
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:00,700
Ray forgot the gum.
59
00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:43,451
LANA:
So how'd you get the name Crash?
60
00:03:43,619 --> 00:03:45,995
Oh, it's a long story...
61
00:03:46,163 --> 00:03:49,707
...about me saving the lives of eight other
climbers right after an avalanche.
62
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:50,875
BOTH:
Sploosh!
63
00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:54,170
Sorry?
Is I bet the sound an avalanche makes.
64
00:03:54,338 --> 00:03:57,882
Uh, no, it's more like a freight train
full of tornadoes...
65
00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:00,426
...which are in turn
full of smaller freight trains.
66
00:04:00,594 --> 00:04:02,554
Which are in turn full of shit.
Sorry?
67
00:04:02,721 --> 00:04:03,805
She just had a baby.
68
00:04:03,973 --> 00:04:05,140
You know...
I didn't.
69
00:04:05,307 --> 00:04:08,184
Well, we've got an extremely
difficult climb tomorrow, guys...
70
00:04:08,352 --> 00:04:10,478
...so you might wanna
take it easy on the...
71
00:04:12,481 --> 00:04:13,982
Come on, if you've climbed it...
72
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,150
[BELCHES]
73
00:04:15,317 --> 00:04:16,526
How hard can it be?
74
00:04:16,694 --> 00:04:18,027
[SIGHS]
75
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:22,490
CRASH:
Die Totenspitz.
76
00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:26,452
For those of you who don't speak
German, that means...
77
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:29,581
Herr Hessler?
"The Peak of Death."
78
00:04:29,748 --> 00:04:33,459
Fifteen thousand feet of some of the most
dangerous climbing in all of Europe.
79
00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:36,421
Unstable seracs, frequent avalanches...
80
00:04:36,589 --> 00:04:41,009
...and hundreds of crevasses that can swallow
entire climbing parties in a split-second.
81
00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:47,182
One in every seven climbers who has dared to
climb die Totenspitz has paid with his life.
82
00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:49,392
So, yes, she's earned her name, all ri...
83
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,894
[ARCHER SLURPING]
84
00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:54,939
Ugh. Okay, people,
I want a good alpine start tomorrow.
85
00:04:55,107 --> 00:04:56,900
So pack your gear and get some sleep.
86
00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,904
We head out at dawn.
And that's a.m.?
87
00:05:01,071 --> 00:05:03,740
As opposed to?
P.M. Dawn?
88
00:05:03,908 --> 00:05:07,410
"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss."
Come on, buddy.
89
00:05:07,578 --> 00:05:10,121
The mountain is dangerous.
90
00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:12,290
Very dangerous.
91
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,460
So you should watch your step.
92
00:05:16,337 --> 00:05:19,422
Okay, great climb, everybody.
93
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:21,090
Yay!
94
00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:25,678
So instead of antagonizing
the person responsible for our safety...
95
00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:29,140
What, shamelessly flirt with him?
Was it obvious?
96
00:05:29,308 --> 00:05:32,852
Maybe call Malory on the sat-phone
and find out who the damn target is.
97
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,605
One step ahead of you.
98
00:05:36,315 --> 00:05:37,982
May I please have the sat-phone?
99
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:39,150
[GROWLS]
100
00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:42,654
It's Mother's fault anyway, Lana.
You're obviously the one she should've...
101
00:05:42,821 --> 00:05:43,905
[MALORY SIGHS OVER PHONE]
102
00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:46,407
MALORY: What?
Mother, hey, it's me, quick question...
103
00:05:46,575 --> 00:05:49,077
MALORY: Let me guess...
Oh, how's A.J.?
104
00:05:49,245 --> 00:05:52,288
Because if the rash came back,
she needs to... Shut up, please?
105
00:05:52,456 --> 00:05:55,083
Although actually, yes, how is A.J.?
106
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:58,586
MALORY: That's why you called?
No, actually I'm calling because...
107
00:05:58,754 --> 00:06:02,382
MALORY: You haven't the foggiest idea
what it is you're supposed to be doing.
108
00:06:02,549 --> 00:06:05,134
I know what, Mother, I just don't know...
109
00:06:05,302 --> 00:06:06,886
MALORY: Let me speak to Lana.
Who?
110
00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:08,263
MALORY: Lana!
No, I meant...
111
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:09,847
MALORY:
Sterling, let me speak to...
112
00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:12,100
No, you'll tell her she's
agent-in-command...
113
00:06:12,268 --> 00:06:15,353
...so that when she's not pathetically
trying to make me jealous...
114
00:06:15,521 --> 00:06:18,022
...by hitting on this idiot beard-face
sweater model...
115
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:22,402
...she's gonna lord it over me and Ray,
who, by the way, forgot to bring gum.
116
00:06:22,569 --> 00:06:24,279
MALORY: Are you finished?
Yes.
117
00:06:24,446 --> 00:06:27,865
Good, because...
CHERYL: The voice mailbox of...
118
00:06:28,033 --> 00:06:31,035
COMPUTER: Elaborate voicemail hoax.
CHERYL: ...is full.
119
00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:32,203
Goodbye.
120
00:06:32,371 --> 00:06:34,038
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
121
00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:38,668
Huh. I guess you had that coming.
Wh...? How so?
122
00:06:38,836 --> 00:06:42,171
Give me that.
And if I wanted to make you jealous...
123
00:06:42,339 --> 00:06:44,507
CHERYL: What?
Shut up. Let me talk to Malory.
124
00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:45,967
CHERYL:
Make me, and also hang on.
125
00:06:46,135 --> 00:06:47,135
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
126
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:51,556
What the stupid shit are you doing?!
You said you wanted watermelon.
127
00:06:51,724 --> 00:06:54,475
Watermelon's red?
Yes.
128
00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:58,730
How do you not know that?
Who am I, Charles Fredric Andrus?
129
00:06:58,897 --> 00:07:02,108
Ahem. She didn't come in today.
LANA: Well, where is she?
130
00:07:02,276 --> 00:07:04,819
Well, I assume somewhere else.
131
00:07:04,987 --> 00:07:06,487
It's like...
132
00:07:06,822 --> 00:07:07,822
[COUGHS]
133
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:09,949
Yeah, right?
You find it?
134
00:07:10,117 --> 00:07:11,909
No.
Find what?
135
00:07:12,077 --> 00:07:15,246
Nothing. Just don't make
any sudden movements.
136
00:07:15,414 --> 00:07:17,248
Bowel or otherwise.
Wh...?
137
00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:19,083
Why would we make
a sudden bowel movement?
138
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,503
Eh... Don't worry about it.
139
00:07:24,715 --> 00:07:25,715
[GROWLS]
140
00:07:25,883 --> 00:07:27,508
No answer at home, no answer on her cell.
141
00:07:27,676 --> 00:07:32,638
So not only do we not know who the target is,
now your mother has absconded with my child.
142
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:35,141
Yes, but on the plus side,
there are seven of us...
143
00:07:35,309 --> 00:07:39,312
...so if one out of seven climbers dies
on this mountain, maybe we'll get lucky.
144
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,191
Yeah, maybe it'll be you.
No, not me, dummy, I meant...
145
00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:47,111
Oh, I get it. I see what you did there.
146
00:07:47,279 --> 00:07:48,863
Really?
147
00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:51,032
Yes.
148
00:07:53,619 --> 00:07:54,577
[LINE RINGING]
149
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:57,663
LANA:
Come on, come on.
150
00:07:57,831 --> 00:07:59,749
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
151
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,794
PAM: Hello?
Oh, thank God, you're still at the office.
152
00:08:02,961 --> 00:08:04,003
PAM:
I am?
153
00:08:04,671 --> 00:08:07,548
Oh, man.
LANA: Pam, I need you to find...
154
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:08,716
[SCREAMS]
155
00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:10,551
LANA: Pam!
What? Goddamn it!
156
00:08:10,719 --> 00:08:12,470
LANA: I need you to...
Shut up.
157
00:08:12,638 --> 00:08:15,765
LANA: And listen! I need you to check
Malory's apartment for me.
158
00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:17,809
CRASH:
All right, pick it up, people.
159
00:08:17,976 --> 00:08:21,104
The weather's good now,
but it can change on a dime.
160
00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:23,106
Michiko, right there, that's your line.
161
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,942
Now, stay on it
and work across toward the ridge.
162
00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:29,737
Hai, okay.
Looking good, guys, looking real good.
163
00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:31,948
Oh, this old thing? It's just...
Keep walking.
164
00:08:32,116 --> 00:08:33,116
Uh-huh. Yep.
165
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:35,660
Sat-phone?
Yeah, sorry, I was just...
166
00:08:35,828 --> 00:08:39,247
Keep it handy. I'm getting
a majorly weird vibe from, um...
167
00:08:39,415 --> 00:08:41,499
Well, from one of the other climbers.
LANA: Oh!
168
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:43,835
Yeah, no, just tell him
you're not interested.
169
00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:48,339
No, not him, one of the others.
Yeah, what's up? What are we doing?
170
00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:51,676
Uh, besides jeopardizing the entire
rope line by being out of position?
171
00:08:51,844 --> 00:08:53,594
Yes, obviously besides that.
172
00:08:53,762 --> 00:08:55,847
Crash has a bad feeling
about another climber.
173
00:08:56,014 --> 00:08:57,598
Oh, he's harmless, just tell him...
174
00:08:57,766 --> 00:09:00,518
Not Ray. One of the others.
Aha!
175
00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:02,270
And also, ah-who?
176
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:04,355
Well, look, maybe it's nothing...
177
00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:07,066
Get down!
You're not my supervi...
178
00:09:07,234 --> 00:09:08,276
Oh, no!
179
00:09:09,194 --> 00:09:10,486
Oh, no!
180
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:13,739
[ALL SCREAMING]
181
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:18,661
Oh, no!
182
00:09:20,539 --> 00:09:22,206
Hang on!
183
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:26,502
PAM:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
184
00:09:27,212 --> 00:09:28,463
Hang on!
185
00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,965
I got a key, you skimpnuts.
186
00:09:32,634 --> 00:09:34,010
Oh, yeah, me too.
187
00:09:34,178 --> 00:09:36,846
Why do you have keys
to her apartment?
188
00:09:37,014 --> 00:09:40,475
Ron gave them to us, when they were
doing that weird open-house thing.
189
00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:43,436
Open marriage.
Oh!
190
00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:45,730
Well, that explains that, ha, ha.
191
00:09:45,898 --> 00:09:48,232
You both had sex with,
hopefully, Ron?
192
00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:50,568
[IN UNISON]
Don't worry about it.
193
00:09:50,736 --> 00:09:53,571
But I just wanna say,
breaking into Ms. Archer's apartment...
194
00:09:53,739 --> 00:09:57,158
...to hopefully find a crying baby clinging
to her dead and shriveled body...
195
00:09:57,326 --> 00:09:59,285
...is the best birthday present
I've ever gotten.
196
00:09:59,453 --> 00:10:00,453
[BELCHES]
197
00:10:00,621 --> 00:10:03,331
Except for that Formula 1 team.
198
00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:04,957
Dibs on snacks.
199
00:10:06,335 --> 00:10:08,711
Looks like Pam's lucky night.
200
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:13,508
Because of the snacks, you dickholes.
201
00:10:13,675 --> 00:10:15,927
Although...
202
00:10:16,094 --> 00:10:18,930
Michiko! Michiko!
203
00:10:19,097 --> 00:10:22,099
I can't see her. There's a ledge.
Hang on, I'm coming.
204
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,643
Do not move. Don't move.
205
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,937
Everybody stay put,
keep the weight spread out.
206
00:10:26,104 --> 00:10:29,482
I'm gonna clip on, abseil down
on a V thread and try to reach her.
207
00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:30,650
I'm gonna...
208
00:10:30,817 --> 00:10:32,735
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
209
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:34,904
Check out my beard.
210
00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:37,573
Little jealous?
Little bit, yeah.
211
00:10:37,741 --> 00:10:39,158
No, no, no, damn it.
212
00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:43,496
Guys, be ready to pull on my command,
and we gotta hurry. A storm's coming.
213
00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:46,916
Um, should somebody
call the Ghostbusters?
214
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:51,003
Okay, here goes.
And pull on my command.
215
00:10:51,171 --> 00:10:54,048
So will your feelings be super-hurt
if I bang him?
216
00:10:54,216 --> 00:10:55,466
RAY:
Yes!
217
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:57,176
CYRIL:
No, nothing in the study.
218
00:10:57,344 --> 00:10:59,387
Krieger, how about
the other guest bedroom?
219
00:10:59,555 --> 00:11:03,099
KRIEGER: No, nothing.
CYRIL: No sign of Ms. Archer or the baby?
220
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:06,143
Pam, how about in the kitchen?
221
00:11:06,311 --> 00:11:08,646
Pam?
PAM: No, nothing.
222
00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:11,482
CYRIL: You better be eating snacks.
PAM: Ew!
223
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:13,568
KRIEGER:
Wait, yeah, where is Carol?
224
00:11:13,735 --> 00:11:16,153
[CHERYL VOMITING]
225
00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:20,074
Oh, God, somebody kill me.
226
00:11:20,242 --> 00:11:22,660
We thought you threw up.
227
00:11:23,078 --> 00:11:24,495
BOTH:
Ew.
228
00:11:24,830 --> 00:11:26,747
What are you...? Is that a radish?
229
00:11:27,165 --> 00:11:30,668
And literally the most fattening thing
in the entire goddamn fridge.
230
00:11:30,836 --> 00:11:33,629
No wonder she's so fricking skinny.
231
00:11:34,131 --> 00:11:38,217
Everything else is in plastic bags.
What was that?
232
00:11:38,385 --> 00:11:40,720
Don't worry about it.
233
00:11:42,514 --> 00:11:44,640
CRASH: Okay, ready?
ALL: Ready!
234
00:11:44,808 --> 00:11:46,309
CRASH:
Pull!
235
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,477
[ALL GRUNTING]
236
00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:53,733
Okay, okay. Ease up, ease up.
237
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,611
[IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
...Michiko?
238
00:11:56,778 --> 00:11:57,778
She's dead.
239
00:11:57,946 --> 00:11:59,280
[BOTH SPEAK
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES]
240
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:01,699
The fall must have broken her neck.
241
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:05,369
Oh, my God.
Well, now, that could be very good for us.
242
00:12:05,537 --> 00:12:07,788
Japan? Axis power?
243
00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:08,914
Okay, people, listen up.
244
00:12:09,082 --> 00:12:12,710
We've got a blizzard rolling in on us
right now. There's no time to descend.
245
00:12:12,878 --> 00:12:15,713
We've gotta bivouac right here, right now.
246
00:12:15,881 --> 00:12:17,214
Come on, people, let's move.
247
00:12:17,382 --> 00:12:20,635
But what about Michiko?
You mean her body?
248
00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:22,887
But...
She's dead, but we're alive.
249
00:12:23,055 --> 00:12:25,890
And you never let the dead
jeopardize the entire party.
250
00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:29,226
You'd know that if you were
an experienced climber like you said.
251
00:12:29,394 --> 00:12:32,730
You think it's Hessler?
Axis power Germany.
252
00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:35,608
Axis power Italy.
253
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,736
Then, yeah, I don't know.
Goddamn it.
254
00:12:38,904 --> 00:12:41,614
Okay, listen up, people.
Now, we've only got two bivvy tents.
255
00:12:41,782 --> 00:12:42,782
Tada!
256
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:46,869
And two bivvy sacks. But that's okay,
because it's gonna hit 70 below...
257
00:12:47,037 --> 00:12:50,164
...so if we wanna live, we're gonna
have to combine our body heat.
258
00:12:50,332 --> 00:12:53,084
Wait, do huh? So, what we're
gonna do is strip down naked.
259
00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:55,169
We'll go three to a tent, three to a bag.
260
00:12:55,337 --> 00:12:58,422
I actually have some thoughts on that,
who-should-go-where-wise.
261
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:01,092
We go with him. Americans go there.
262
00:13:01,259 --> 00:13:03,511
Well, now, let's just
hear him out at least.
263
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,680
As if.
No, she was totally in there.
264
00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:08,516
Hurry up. Get in your tent,
huddle up, and hang on tight.
265
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,018
The wind's probably gonna hit
a hundred miles...
266
00:13:11,353 --> 00:13:13,062
RAY: Shut the goddamn door!
LANA: Zip it up.
267
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:17,233
ARCHER:
I am, obviously, if you'd shut up.
268
00:13:19,444 --> 00:13:20,778
LANA: Nope.
ARCHER: What?
269
00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:23,823
I am not riding bitch in this tent.
ARCHER: You have to.
270
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,742
It's the only way to keep
Ray's genitals away from mine.
271
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:30,246
RAY: Oh, as if.
LANA: Uh-uh. No, no.
272
00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:33,332
Ray is the DMZ.
ARCHER: Ugh. Goddamn it.
273
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,961
Oh, please, I ought to be worried
about your dirty old junk touching mine.
274
00:13:37,129 --> 00:13:42,466
Ray, if I ever have sex with a man,
it'll be a man who remembers the gum.
275
00:13:42,634 --> 00:13:46,637
And, not that it matters, also black.
276
00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:01,902
ARCHER:
Eat a dick, blizzard.
277
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:03,946
Can you see anything?
ARCHER: Besides snow?
278
00:14:04,114 --> 00:14:05,114
[LINE RINGING]
279
00:14:05,282 --> 00:14:08,117
Yes, Archer, besides snow.
ARCHER: Hang on.
280
00:14:09,327 --> 00:14:11,328
Hang on.
281
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,542
No.
Now nobody's answering their damn phones.
282
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,879
I tried Cyril, Pam, Cheryl,
now I'm even trying Krieger.
283
00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:21,589
Where the hell is everybody?
284
00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:23,257
[PHONE VIBRATING
AND RINGTONE PLAYING]
285
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:25,384
MAN: Teutonic butts
CHORUS: Teutonic butts
286
00:14:25,552 --> 00:14:28,929
MAN: White on white butts
CHORUS: White on white butts
287
00:14:29,097 --> 00:14:32,767
MAN: Teutonic butts
CHORUS: Teutonic butts
288
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:33,976
[RINGTONE STOPS]
289
00:14:34,144 --> 00:14:38,230
[ALL VOMITING]
290
00:14:38,398 --> 00:14:42,234
Seriously, I swear to God, somebody,
please, come in here and kill me.
291
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:45,738
I would if I had the strength, dick.
CYRIL: What did I do?
292
00:14:45,906 --> 00:14:50,701
You poisoned us. With that stupid seviche
nobody asked you to bring.
293
00:14:50,869 --> 00:14:56,499
CYRIL: You asked me to bring it.
I didn't know what seviche was.
294
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:59,001
Uh, hey, guys?
CHERYL: What do you want?
295
00:14:59,169 --> 00:15:03,339
I don't think it was the seviche.
ARCHER: Huh.
296
00:15:03,507 --> 00:15:04,840
LANA:
What, can you see something?
297
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:07,885
Uh, yeah. Well, you wanna share
it with the rest of the...?
298
00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:10,179
Jesus Christ!
299
00:15:10,347 --> 00:15:11,931
That's Hessler and Savino.
300
00:15:12,098 --> 00:15:15,976
Who I think just did our job for us,
because we are out of Axis powers.
301
00:15:16,144 --> 00:15:17,394
CRASH: Morning, gang.
ALL: Aah!
302
00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:20,481
Who's ready for a piping-hot cup
of fair-trade practices?
303
00:15:20,649 --> 00:15:23,192
What the hell happened to them?
Ahh, hypothermia.
304
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,446
No shit, they're naked in the snow.
It's called paradoxical undressing.
305
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:29,698
You see it sometimes
with severe hypothermia.
306
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:33,369
The poor bastards rip off all their clothes
and run out into the snow.
307
00:15:33,537 --> 00:15:36,038
With belts on their necks?
What's that?
308
00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:37,790
[CRASH SIGHS]
309
00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:42,336
Yeah, man, that hypothermia,
make you do some pretty crazy shit.
310
00:15:42,504 --> 00:15:44,922
But...
Irish bastard.
311
00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:48,592
What? What's that?
McCarran. That's an Irish name.
312
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,096
Uh, yes, Scotch-Irish,
but, uh, I'm actually Canadian.
313
00:15:52,264 --> 00:15:54,765
Save the blarney for the Colleens, Paddy.
314
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:56,100
What?
What are you...?
315
00:15:56,268 --> 00:15:58,352
He's the target.
What?
316
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,271
I just remembered from the dossier.
317
00:16:00,438 --> 00:16:04,608
Patrick McCarran, mountain-climbing
enthusiast-slash-assassin.
318
00:16:04,776 --> 00:16:07,444
Okay, first of all...
319
00:16:07,612 --> 00:16:09,196
BOTH: Lana!
Yeah, that's true.
320
00:16:09,364 --> 00:16:12,116
Although I prefer the term "cleaner"
to "assassin."
321
00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:15,369
That's just smart branding.
And I'm actually Canadian, not Irish.
322
00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:16,579
As is that.
323
00:16:16,746 --> 00:16:19,456
Those jagoffs and the Japanese broad
were from Interpol.
324
00:16:19,624 --> 00:16:22,877
They've been on me for months,
but didn't know that I was on to them.
325
00:16:23,044 --> 00:16:26,755
I sent her down into that crevasse,
then went down and broke her neck for her.
326
00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:29,174
Those two,
well, that's kind of self-explanatory.
327
00:16:29,342 --> 00:16:31,260
They died in your arms.
Hang on.
328
00:16:31,428 --> 00:16:33,137
Lana, hush.
Yeah, shut up.
329
00:16:33,305 --> 00:16:36,140
I thought you three were
just some idiot wannabe tourists...
330
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:38,767
...but now can I assume you're CIA?
331
00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:41,437
No, you know what, Paddy?
Hang on.
332
00:16:41,605 --> 00:16:42,646
CRASH & ARCHER:
Shut up.
333
00:16:42,814 --> 00:16:45,232
And I said, hang the fricking shit on!
334
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:49,570
Okay, God.
So where did you get Axis power?
335
00:16:50,196 --> 00:16:52,406
Ireland?
Again, I'm actually Canadian.
336
00:16:52,574 --> 00:16:56,493
And Ireland was not an Axis power.
337
00:16:56,661 --> 00:16:59,955
You sure?
They were neutral, you asshole!
338
00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:01,832
Oh, that's right.
339
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
[LAUGHS]
340
00:17:03,168 --> 00:17:06,045
Gaping asshole. Because I don't know
what your plan was with that gun...
341
00:17:06,212 --> 00:17:09,256
...but there's four feet of new wet snow
on top of the ice crust.
342
00:17:09,424 --> 00:17:13,010
So if you fire that thing, I guarantee you
it's gonna trigger an avalanche.
343
00:17:13,178 --> 00:17:16,764
Well, Paddy, if there's one thing
I've learned... Wait, wait, Archer...
344
00:17:16,932 --> 00:17:20,267
...it's that there's no guarantees
in this crazy world.
345
00:17:20,435 --> 00:17:22,102
No, no, no...
RAY: Archer, don't!
346
00:17:24,189 --> 00:17:27,274
I... That... You... The... That...
347
00:17:27,442 --> 00:17:32,112
I believe the phrase you're searching for
is, "Thank you, Archer. That was..."
348
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,322
[RUMBLING]
349
00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,782
What's that sound?
What's that?
350
00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:37,618
It's an avalanche. You... You...
351
00:17:37,786 --> 00:17:41,705
And I believe the phrase
you're searching for is...
352
00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:43,707
Holy shit, is that really an...?
353
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,751
[ALL SCREAMING]
354
00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:47,836
ARCHER:
Avalanche!
355
00:17:48,004 --> 00:17:49,463
Woo-hoo!
356
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,231
[LINE RINGING]
357
00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:14,780
And exactly what are you doing
with those bags?
358
00:18:14,948 --> 00:18:18,867
I don't live on the sidewalk, you mope.
Take them upstairs.
359
00:18:19,035 --> 00:18:21,578
LANA: Where the hell is A.J.?
With me, she's fine.
360
00:18:21,746 --> 00:18:26,625
I was having my apartment bug-bombed, so I
took her to The Plaza. I'll call you back.
361
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:30,421
And what fresh hell is this?
362
00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:32,756
LANA:
Can you believe that shit?
363
00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:36,051
Absconds with my child,
and she'll call me back?
364
00:18:36,219 --> 00:18:38,887
No, seriously, I mean,
can you believe that shit?
365
00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:40,931
ARCHER:
Can you believe this other shit?
366
00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:46,729
Ahh! Peppermint Patties. Still warm.
367
00:18:47,564 --> 00:18:49,523
Plenty more where that came fr...
368
00:18:49,691 --> 00:18:54,528
How could you possibly be that excited
to be in a fricking avalanche?
369
00:18:54,696 --> 00:18:59,283
I have kind of a weird bucket list.
Number three, bang Joe Frazier.
370
00:18:59,451 --> 00:19:04,246
Really regret sharing that with you.
So you think Crash is dead or...?
371
00:19:04,414 --> 00:19:10,169
I mean, he'd have to be, right?
And either way, I say we say he's dead.
372
00:19:12,213 --> 00:19:13,547
Okay, fine.
Yeah, you know.
373
00:19:13,715 --> 00:19:15,799
Yeah, right? Seems like a win-win.
374
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,801
Unless you're him...
375
00:19:17,969 --> 00:19:19,011
...or the other three.
376
00:19:19,179 --> 00:19:23,599
But seriously, how in the hell did
you think Ireland was an Axis power?
377
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:28,520
Oh, my God, I think this whole time
I was actually thinking of Romania.
378
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:33,233
But only as an inevitable consequence
of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact...
379
00:19:33,401 --> 00:19:36,653
...and the Soviet invasion of Bessarabia.
380
00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:41,253
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30753
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
