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ARCHER: Oh, come on, how long
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00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:06,079
are you guys gonna stay mad at
me?
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CYRIL: What, for getting us
all arrested for smuggling
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cocaine into Colombia?
RAY: Probably the rest
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of our damn lives.
CYRIL: Well, shouldn't be
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very long, since we're headed to
La Culebra, the most dangerous
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prison in South America.
(chuckles)
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ARCHER: Well, Cyril, when we
get there and I join the
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toughest gang, don't hold your
breath for a bid.
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RAY: A bid?
CYRIL: They're prison gangs,
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not frats!
ARCHER: And don't call a
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fraternity a frat!
COP: ?Callate!
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(Archer grunts, groans)(cops laughing)
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ARCHER: No, I'm fine.Don't worry about me.
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COP: And don't worry aboutLa Culebra, gringos.
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You are not going there.CYRIL: Oh, well, that's good.
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Is that good?It doesn't sound very good.
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Why does that sound really,really, really bad?
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ARCHER (sighs): Becausethey're gonna kill us.
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CYRIL: What?!(cops laughing)
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COP: Unless you got maybe$100,000 U.S. on you.
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ARCHER: Well, not on me,
on me, but...
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(cops guffawing)
CYRIL: Hey, but when we're
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digging out own graves, they're
gonna get cocky, and then we
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00:00:59,723 --> 00:01:01,673
whang 'em with our shovels,
right?
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ARCHER: Cyril, this isn't an
episode of B.J. and the Bear.
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RAY: That was?ARCHER: It's the jungle--
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nobody digs graves; they justkneel you down by a ditch and
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put a bullet in your...CYRIL: Cow!
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ARCHER: Why would they shootyour... cow!
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(yelling, grunting, gasping)
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(birds chirping)
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ARCHER: God...(crashing)
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(birds chirping)
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ARCHER: ...damn.
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(Archer groaning, chuckling)ARCHER: Well, now I'm almost
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afraid to say any--
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(Archer groans)Eat a dick, jungle.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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CYRIL: Easy, easy.
Careful!
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ARCHER: Cyril, for the love
of Christ, man!
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CYRIL: Sorry.
ARCHER: You have to shut up.
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CYRIL: I am.
Starting now.
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Starting... now.
ARCHER: Cyril...
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CYRIL: Sorry. (gasps)
(animal growls in distance)
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What was that?
ARCHER: Probably a jaguar
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excited about being magnificent
and crepuscular.
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But I need you to focus on me,
because if, by some miracle, I
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get the keys...
(Cyril gasps)
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...and then, by some other even
bigger miracle, get us out of
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these cuffs...
(Cyril sneezes)
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I am gonna beat the shit out of
you, Cyril!
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RAY: I'm gonna beat the
shit of both of y'all.
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CYRIL: Oh, my God, Ray!
ARCHER: You're alive?!
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RAY: What, did y'all
think I was dead?
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CYRIL: Well, I just assumed.
ARCHER: Yeah, I totally did.
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RAY: And you didn't
even take a moment?!
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ARCHER: I mean...
RAY: Oh, screw you guys!
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ARCHER: W-Wait.
What is in your mouth?
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GILLETTE (muffled): Nothing.
ARCHER: It's the keys!
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CYRIL: He's eating the keys?
ARCHER: Ray, don't you eat
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those keys!
RAY: I'm not eating the
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goddamn keys.
CYRIL: Waagh!
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RAY: Ow!
CYRIL: What are you doing
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down there?
RAY: What do you think
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I'm doing?
(chain rattles)
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CYRIL: Oh. (chuckles) sorry.
ARCHER: Do me! Do me, do me,
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do me, do me, do me! Ray, do me!
RAY: Ow! Ow! Ow!
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ARCHER: Sorry. Do me, please.
RAY: First, promise you
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won't ad at me.
ARCHER: I... Wait.
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Why would I be mad at you?
RAY: Because you're an
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asshole!
MALORY: I beg your pardon?!
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LANA: Since Cyril's not here,
I'm helping Cherlene redline her
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record contract, and I think we
should move on.
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They're not gonna let you
kill a guy.
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CHERLENE: What about a dwarf?
MALORY: What about Sterling?!
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CHERLENE: Wait, he's a dwarf
now?
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00:04:13,979 --> 00:04:16,513
MALORY: He's missing!
With God knows how much of our
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dwindling cocaine, and no one's
doing anything to find him!
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00:04:19,741 --> 00:04:22,408
LANA: If he calls here, my
plan, in its entirety, is to ask
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him where he is.
PAM: It has a simple
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elegance.
MALORY: Well, have you tried
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calling him?(auto-dial beeping)
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MALLORY: What?(techno music playing)
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PAM: Yaaaayyyyy!CHERLENE: Wooooooooo!
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FEMALE VOICE: The mailboxof...
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ARCHER: ...Ar-Ar-Archer...FEMALE VOICE: ...is full.
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Leave it.MALLORY: All right!
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Turn it off! Turn it off!(voicemail message repeating)
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LANA: I can't! It's...ARCHER: Ar-Ar-Archer. Archer.
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KRIEGER: Rrgh! Rrgh! Rrgh!ARCHER: (voice slows):
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Archer... Archer...PAM & CHERLENE: Aw.
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KRIEGER: Okay, so he forwardshis phone here.
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That's easy.Then he taps the phone line into
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the intercom.They're both low-voltage.
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No big deal, but that's patchedinto the actual house wiring,
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obviously one-ten AC, whichmeans he must have wired a
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transformer in the circuitsomewhere, but he's got all
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these fake wires in here thatdon't connect to any...
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(Malory sobs)MALORY: Is this all just a
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game to you people?!My God, I'm broke, my husband
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kicked me out of my own home,we're running out of cocaine,
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and on top of all that, my sonis missing!
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LANA: Um, okay, if Archercalls, I'll...
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00:05:17,791 --> 00:05:20,125
MALORY: No, please don'tdisturb me.
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I think I'm getting a migraine.(whistle blows)
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CHERLENE: Outlaw country!Wooooooooooooooo!
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MALORY: I honestly don't knowhow much more I can take!
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(Cherlene chuckles)LANA: Wow. I think she
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seriously might be, like,nearing the end of her rope.
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PAM: Hey, speaking of rope...LANA: You want cocaine?
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PAM: Yay!ARCHER: Goddamn it!
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RAY: How is this myfault?
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ARCHER: Because why do youalways get paralyzed?!
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RAY: Because why do youalways crash every goddamn
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vehicle I get in?!ARCHER: I didn't crash it!
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That crooked idiot, drunkmurdering cop did!
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CYRIL: Uh, yeah, speakingof, these guys don't look too
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good.(cop coughs very weakly)
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ARCHER: Well, they're gonnalook even worse when they're
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jaguar poop!CYRIL: What? We can't just
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leave them here.ARCHER: As opposed to what,
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Cyril?!You and I sling them over our
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shoulders and climb 200 feetstraight up a cliff without
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a goddamn rope?!CYRIL: I...
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RAY: Wait. Where am I inthat scenario?!
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ARCHER: I guess gettingpooped out of a jaguar!
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CYRIL: Well, we definitelycan't leave Ray!
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ARCHER: We have to!Ray, I'm sorry.
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RAY: No, you're not!ARCHER: I am, actually,
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which, whatever, but...(gun cocks)
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CYRIL: We are not leavingRay!
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ARCHER: What do you eventhink you're doing?
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CYRIL: I am taking command!(Archer and Cyril laugh)
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CYRIL: Hey, I'm serious!ARCHER: Oh, my God.
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Okay.Oh, that's really funny.
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Thanks, Cyril.I-I think we needed that.
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RAY: We did.We really did.
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ARCHER: Oh, man.Now give me the goddamn weapon.
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ARCHER: You nut!(Cyril laughs)
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CYRIL: Thought you were gonnahit me with it.
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ARCHER: I was.Okay, so how do we get Ray and
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his useless legs out of here?RAY: Well, now, I
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actually have some thoughts onthat.
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ARCHER (sighing): Goddamn it.RAY: I think it's a
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pretty good plan, y'all.ARCHER: No, it isn't!
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We might as well slatherourselves with whatever it is
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crocodiles eat, and swim down!CYRIL: What do crocodiles
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eat?ARCHER: Everything!
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They eat everything!And fear is their bacon bits.
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CHERLENE: I don't understand
what you're saying.
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LANA: Damn it!
Look, I think Malory is
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genuinely going through a really
hard time right now, so I think
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we should do something nice for
her.
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CHERLENE: I don't understand
what you're say...
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LANA: Goddamn it!
PAM: I'm with you, Lana.
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It freaked me out seeing her cry
like that.
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It was like seeing my dad cry.
LANA: Crying because...?
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PAM: (splutters) Name it.
He's a gigantic pussy.
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Oh, my God, when my mom died?
Hey, and speaking of pussies...
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LANA: A Long Island Iced Tea?
I'm not even supposed to drink
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regular iced tea.
PAM: Yeah, this is a Long
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Island.
CHERLENE: Yeah, stupid!
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Your words.
LANA: Shut up!
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And, okay, so what would cheer
Malory up?
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What does she like?
PAM: Archer and money and
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liquor.
LANA: Besides that.
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CHERLENE: Some different
liquor.
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PAM: You know what always
cheers me up...
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LANA: We're not giving her
cocaine.
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PAM: I was gonna say cock.
CHERLENE: Yeah, stup... Ow!
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LANA: You done?
CHERLENE: I am. Thank you.
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LANA: Ass. And Pam, that's
not a bad idea.
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PAM: Hmm. I don't know if I'd
be comfortable with that.
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I mean, even for me, it's...
LANA: Let me stop you before
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you say what it is you think I'm
talking about.
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PAM: Getting shitty drunk on
two different kinds of liquor,
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dressing up like Mr. Archer,
and banging the old lady with
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a strap...
Ow!
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LANA: That's not what I had
in mind.
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PAM: Okay, good, 'cause the
the dressing up like Mr. Archer
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part makes it kind of weird.
LANA: I...
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PAM: I'd have to be super
drunk, like so drunk I bet I
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wouldn't even enjoy...! Ow!
(Pam clears her throat)
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Okay, so what's your plan?
CYRIL: Well, eventually, we
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have to come to a village or
whatever, and maybe we can
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barter with them for a ride,
or...
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ARCHER: Barter with what,
Cyril?
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CYRIL: I don't know.
Maybe the gun, or...
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ARCHER (laughing): Yes!
Great idea, yeah, Cyril.
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Let's give an M-16 to a bunch of
wild Indians!
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CYRIL: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
RAY: Goddamn,
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Huckleberry Finn!
ARCHER: What?! I don't think
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00:09:11,522 --> 00:09:13,522
it's racist to assume that a
previously uncontacted tribe of
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indigenous peoples might react
unpredictably, perhaps even
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wildly, to a bunch of white guys
who walk up and hand 'em a
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goddamn M-16!
CYRIL: Oh, okay.
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00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:25,866
I didn't know in your scenario
the indigenous people were
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uncontacted.
RAY: Totally different
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00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:30,219
scenario.
CYRIL: In which, no, you
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00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:32,397
obviously wouldn't just want to
hand them an M-16.
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00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:34,574
RAY: 'Cause they'd be,
like, "What?!"
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00:09:34,585 --> 00:09:38,087
Or whatever their word for that
is.
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00:09:38,102 --> 00:09:40,435
MALORY: What?
LANA: A spa day!
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MALORY: What? No.
I can't go out like this.
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00:09:42,959 --> 00:09:45,292
LANA: No, no, no!
That's the best part.
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00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:47,470
It's here!
MALORY: Then it's not a spa
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day.
It's just a bath!
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00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:51,658
I want to go back to sleep!
LANA: Well, after this,
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you'll be so relaxed.
MALORY: I took three Valium!
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00:09:54,013 --> 00:09:56,180
If I get any more relaxed,
I will literally die.
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00:09:56,191 --> 00:09:59,075
LANA: Okay, well, that's also
good... because you may not
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00:09:59,088 --> 00:10:02,206
actually find this to be all
that relaxing.
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00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:04,553
MALORY: What the...?
Why are they dressed like that?
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00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:07,065
LANA (sighing): That was the
only way they'd do it.
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00:10:07,077 --> 00:10:10,328
CHERLENE: Strip!
PAM: Yay!
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00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,811
CYRIL: Wait. What?
ARCHER: Crocodylus acutus!
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00:10:13,827 --> 00:10:16,361
And maybe even...Are we in the Orinoco drainage
219
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:18,672
basin?CYRIL: How should I know?
220
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:21,217
ARCHER: Okay, so maybeCrocodylus intermedius is in
221
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,730
play!
Not to mention four kinds of
222
00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:26,242
caiman, including the Black
Caiman, which can grow up to
223
00:10:26,254 --> 00:10:28,588
22 feet!
RAY: Is that why you're
224
00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:30,899
up on those goddamn cans?
ARCHER: Yeah, if a big bull
225
00:10:30,910 --> 00:10:33,444
croc slithers up on the raft,
I'm gonna pour a ring of gas
226
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,790
around me and set it on fire.
CYRIL: Why...?
227
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,301
ARCHER: Cyril, they can't
chomp through fire.
228
00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:40,647
Although, I have no reason to
think that.
229
00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:42,958
CYRIL: Why are you so scared
of crocodiles?
230
00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:45,503
ARCHER: Gee, I don't know,
Cyril.
231
00:10:45,515 --> 00:10:47,849
Maybe deep down, I'm afraid of
any apex predator that lived
232
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:50,310
through the K-T extinction.
CYRIL: The...?
233
00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:52,655
ARCHER: Physically unchanged
for 100 million years, because
234
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,967
it's the perfect killing
machine-- a half-ton of
235
00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:58,980
cold-blooded fury, with a bite
force of 20,000 Newtons, and
236
00:10:58,997 --> 00:11:01,864
stomach acid so strong, it can
dissolve bones and hooves.
237
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,379
And now we're surrounded, those
snake-eyes are watching from the
238
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:07,891
shadows, waiting for the night.
RAY:
Waiting
239
00:11:07,907 --> 00:11:10,408
For the night!
ARCHER: Damn it, Ray!
240
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,753
RAY:
Ooh-hoo!
ARCHER: Keep your voice down!
241
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:15,065
RAY: Why?!
Crocodiles don't have ears!
242
00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:17,443
ARCHER: They absolutely have
ears, shit head!
243
00:11:17,454 --> 00:11:19,454
RAY: Well, so do I, and
you just talked yourself out of
244
00:11:19,464 --> 00:11:22,065
a hat!
(all yelling)
245
00:11:22,077 --> 00:11:24,577
CYRIL: Jeezy Pete's!
ARCHER: Way to go, Ray.
246
00:11:24,589 --> 00:11:26,923
Now he's got a taste for...
(yelling)
247
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:29,434
RAY: Oh, my God!
CYRIL: Shoot it! Shoot it!
248
00:11:29,446 --> 00:11:31,780
Shoot it!
ARCHER: Uh, I can't!
249
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,024
RAY: Sweet Jesus God,
then at least shoot out my eyes
250
00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:36,536
so I don't have to see!
(yelling)
251
00:11:36,548 --> 00:11:39,716
Oh, my God!
CYRIL: What is happening?
252
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,030
(yelling)
Oh, God!
253
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:44,542
RAY: Oh, boy.
(groaning and crying)
254
00:11:44,554 --> 00:11:46,887
No.
(Archer groans)
255
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:51,785
(Gillette and Cyril crying)
(growling)
256
00:11:51,806 --> 00:11:53,972
ARCHER: Huh.
(Cyril and Gillette whimpering)
257
00:11:53,983 --> 00:11:56,150
I thought that was gonna be way
more... epic-fireball-y.
258
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,494
(Gillette whimpers)
CYRIL: Wuh-wuh, wuh-wuh,
259
00:11:58,505 --> 00:12:00,672
wuh-wuh...
ARCHER: Come, Cyril.
260
00:12:00,683 --> 00:12:02,850
Pick one.
Either have a stroke, or spit it
261
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,143
out.
CYRIL: W-w-were you g-g-gonna
262
00:12:05,154 --> 00:12:07,655
say, "A taste for human flesh?"
ARCHER: No, I was gonna say,
263
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:10,000
"Hat," but now it's not funny.
Well, not as funny.
264
00:12:10,011 --> 00:12:12,312
RAY: It's all your
fault.
265
00:12:12,323 --> 00:12:14,857
It's all your fault.
ARCHER: Which part, Ray?!
266
00:12:14,869 --> 00:12:17,202
The part where I flipped our
jeep down a cliff about 90
267
00:12:17,213 --> 00:12:20,848
goddamn times, because I got
drunk to cope with the fact I
268
00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:23,148
was about to murder us in the
jungle?!
269
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,876
RAY: Well, it-it... it's
your fault we're in this stupid
270
00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:28,223
jungle in the first place!
ARCHER: Well, if we're gonna
271
00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:31,318
go back to the beginning of
time, Mother's the one who got
272
00:12:31,332 --> 00:12:34,000
us arrested for treason, and
then bought a ton of goddamn
273
00:12:34,013 --> 00:12:36,346
cocaine!
CYRIL: I thought you b-bought
274
00:12:36,357 --> 00:12:38,858
it.
LANA: Wait. What?
275
00:12:38,869 --> 00:12:41,202
MALORY: Up! Up!
Hands off the goods, mister!
276
00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:43,381
PAM: Aw.
MALORY: I said that's
277
00:12:43,391 --> 00:12:45,892
ridiculous.
Where would I get 2,000 pounds
278
00:12:45,904 --> 00:12:48,237
of cocaine?
LANA: But if you didn't...
279
00:12:48,248 --> 00:12:50,415
Okay, so, where would Archer get
that much coke?
280
00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:52,876
MALORY: Well, who knows with
him?
281
00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:54,888
Maybe wherever he got that new
kind of VD none of the doctors
282
00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:57,065
had ever seen before.
LANA: Wha?! When was that?!
283
00:12:57,075 --> 00:12:59,241
PAM: Yeah, when was that?
CHERLENE: Seriously, was...
284
00:12:59,252 --> 00:13:01,753
MALORY: Trust me, if you had
it, you'd know.
285
00:13:01,765 --> 00:13:03,932
CHERLENE & PAM: Phew!
LANA: Ugh. I loathe knowing
286
00:13:03,942 --> 00:13:06,109
that I had sex with the same
person as you two.
287
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,286
PAM: What? You had sex with
me!
288
00:13:08,296 --> 00:13:10,463
LANA: No, I... (gasps)
Oh, my God, that's right.
289
00:13:10,473 --> 00:13:12,807
MALORY: Ha!
PAM: What are you laughing
290
00:13:12,819 --> 00:13:15,019
at?
MALORY: Oh, my God, that's
291
00:13:15,029 --> 00:13:17,196
right.
ARCHER: So if you dicks want
292
00:13:17,207 --> 00:13:19,373
to blame somebody for our
current predicament, blame...
293
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:24,270
RAY: You! I blame you!
Archer! I blame you!
294
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,425
J'accuse!
(flames whoosh, all yelling)
295
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:33,945
ARCHER: What was that, Ray?!
(whistling)
296
00:13:35,359 --> 00:13:38,813
(laughs): Sorry.
I genuinely couldn't hear you.
297
00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:45,414
(Cyril and Gillette crying)
ARCHER: Jesus, what is wrong
298
00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:47,031
with you two?
CYRIL: What's wrong?!
299
00:13:47,129 --> 00:13:49,579
What's wrong is we're about to
be on fire!
300
00:13:49,591 --> 00:13:51,641
RAY: Do something!
ARCHER: Uh, no?
301
00:13:51,651 --> 00:13:53,651
RAY: Archer!
ARCHER: Not until you
302
00:13:53,661 --> 00:13:55,661
apologize.
RAY: For what?!
303
00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:57,671
CYRIL: Ray, goddamn it, just
apologize!
304
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,131
RAY: I... Jesus Christ,
I'm sorry!
305
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,143
ARCHER: There, was that so
hard?
306
00:14:02,153 --> 00:14:04,820
Okay!
(Gillette coughing, sputtering)
307
00:14:04,832 --> 00:14:06,832
CYRIL: What the hell are
you... (coughing)
308
00:14:06,842 --> 00:14:09,226
ARCHER: Crocodile repellent!
CYRIL (coughing): What?!
309
00:14:09,237 --> 00:14:11,687
ARCHER: We got to swim for
it-- on three.
310
00:14:11,699 --> 00:14:14,367
CYRIL: No, no, n... (grunts)
Archer!
311
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,712
ARCHER: Sorry, three!
Kick, Cyril, kick!
312
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:19,341
(Cyril coughing)
(Gillette retching, coughing)
313
00:14:19,353 --> 00:14:22,038
It's okay, stupid, I forgive
you.
314
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:24,383
RAY: F...
ARCHER: Forgive, yes.
315
00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:29,047
Cannonball!
Woooooo!!
316
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:34,538
(Cyril retching)
(Gillette moaning)
317
00:14:34,561 --> 00:14:37,445
ARCHER (chuckling): Oh...
CYRIL: Oh, God, I think I
318
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,458
swallowed a leech.
ARCHER: Well, the gas ought
319
00:14:39,468 --> 00:14:41,468
to kill that.
RAY: (coughs) You
320
00:14:41,478 --> 00:14:43,595
asshole, you could've killed us!
(Cyril clears throat)
321
00:14:43,605 --> 00:14:45,405
Well?!
CYRIL: Well, you did set the
322
00:14:45,414 --> 00:14:47,330
raft on fire.
RAY: Oh, my God, you
323
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:51,209
always take his side!
CYRIL: I never, ever, ever
324
00:14:51,226 --> 00:14:54,360
take his side.
ARCHER: Blah, blah, blah,
325
00:14:54,374 --> 00:14:56,708
some joke about you two having
vaginas.
326
00:14:56,719 --> 00:14:58,419
Come on, let's go.
CYRIL: Go where?
327
00:14:58,428 --> 00:15:00,561
ARCHER: Well, long-term, I
was thinking home.
328
00:15:00,571 --> 00:15:03,272
Short-term, I... Here, hold
this.
329
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,285
(grunts)
RAY: Go herd.
330
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,929
ARCHER: Short-term, somewhere
that's not the crocodile version
331
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,191
of a drive-through.
(crocodile snarls)
332
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,202
CYRIL: Sounds good!
Here we go!
333
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,212
ARCHER: Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
CYRIL: I got it. (grunting)
334
00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:17,122
ARCHER: Cyril.
CYRIL: What if I need a gun?
335
00:15:17,136 --> 00:15:19,636
ARCHER: Um...
here.
336
00:15:19,648 --> 00:15:21,699
CYRIL: Oh, come on.
ARCHER: The only limit is
337
00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:26,762
your imagination.
Pyoo! Pyoo!
338
00:15:26,783 --> 00:15:31,018
(Cyril sighs)
PAM: Aw, look, she's almost
339
00:15:31,037 --> 00:15:33,671
not terrifying.
LANA: (sighs) Thanks, you
340
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,683
guys.
I think the spa day took her
341
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:39,078
mind off Archer being missing,
even if it almost got weird.
342
00:15:39,093 --> 00:15:41,460
CHERLENE: She made it weird.
LANA: No, you did.
343
00:15:41,472 --> 00:15:43,555
Nobody wants an enema.
CHERLENE: Some people...
344
00:15:43,565 --> 00:15:45,816
LANA: Not with yogurt.
PAM: So... you think those
345
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,411
guys are okay?
LANA: I don't know.
346
00:15:48,423 --> 00:15:50,723
I mean, if it were anybody else,
I'd say no, but this is Archer
347
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:54,402
we're talking about so...
probably not.
348
00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:56,752
CYRIL: Oh, for... Can you not
give it a rest?
349
00:15:56,763 --> 00:15:58,796
RAY: Not until he admits
he's been half-assing this
350
00:15:58,806 --> 00:16:00,806
entire cocaine debacle from
the get-go.
351
00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:02,816
ARCHER: That's only because I
thought it was gonna be way
352
00:16:02,826 --> 00:16:04,826
easier.
RAY: You think
353
00:16:04,836 --> 00:16:07,837
everything's gonna be easy!
ARCHER: It almost always is!
354
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:10,234
RAY: Aha! See?
That's what I resent.
355
00:16:10,246 --> 00:16:12,580
ARCHER: What do you resent,
Ray, my muscly shoulders poking
356
00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:15,174
into your tum-tum?
RAY: I resent how you
357
00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:17,270
never take anything seriously
because you just assume
358
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,280
everything's gonna work out for
you.
359
00:16:19,290 --> 00:16:21,290
ARCHER: It almost always
does!
360
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,300
(Cyril sighs)
Case in point.
361
00:16:23,309 --> 00:16:26,477
CYRIL: What the...
RAY: Goddamn it.
362
00:16:26,492 --> 00:16:28,525
CYRIL (quietly): Hey, do you
think those guys are Doctors
363
00:16:28,535 --> 00:16:30,919
Without Borders?
ARCHER: Yes, Cyril, I do.
364
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:33,681
I bet those assault rifles shoot
polio vaccine.
365
00:16:33,694 --> 00:16:36,611
They're narcos, dummy.
And that plane's probably loaded
366
00:16:36,624 --> 00:16:38,624
with coke.
Okay, here's the plan...
367
00:16:38,634 --> 00:16:40,634
CYRIL: What? Are you crazy?
RAY: You're out of your
368
00:16:40,644 --> 00:16:42,644
mind.
ARCHER: We have to get out of
369
00:16:42,654 --> 00:16:45,822
the country, so we can either
walk out-- which, no, no, we
370
00:16:45,836 --> 00:16:49,705
can't-- or we can fly out in an
airplane full of cocaine.
371
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:51,888
CYRIL: Ray is paralyzed.
Who's gonna fly it?
372
00:16:51,899 --> 00:16:53,899
ARCHER: Don't... That...
Why would you worry about that
373
00:16:53,909 --> 00:16:55,909
before you need to?
CYRIL: What?
374
00:16:55,918 --> 00:16:57,968
ARCHER: Why clog your brain
with a bunch of hypothetical
375
00:16:57,979 --> 00:17:00,313
maybe-what-if bullshit?
CYRIL: Because...
376
00:17:00,324 --> 00:17:02,324
ARCHER: Shut up.
This is what we're doing.
377
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:06,702
So, Cyril, lock and load that
stick.
378
00:17:06,722 --> 00:17:09,056
(indistinct chatter)
379
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:13,569
(Gillette stifles a sneeze)
380
00:17:13,588 --> 00:17:22,846
ARCHER (quietly): Manos arriba.
381
00:17:22,885 --> 00:17:25,468
GILLETTE (whispering): Nice.ARCHER: You want to...
382
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:30,116
RAY: Oh, right.(cocks gun)
383
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:33,219
BOSS NARCO: Bueno pues,cuando est? cargado...
384
00:17:33,351 --> 00:17:34,397
Ray: Manos...
385
00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:38,869
Um...wait, what was it?
Archer: Arriba! Goddamn it.
386
00:17:39,004 --> 00:17:41,552
?Manos arriba! (Weapons cocking)
Boss Narco: (Chuckles)
387
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:45,056
I don't think so, gringo.
Archer: Drop your weapons! I'm serious.
388
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,553
I will shoot this guy right in the...
389
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,961
Boss Narco: (Laughs) What the hell is that?
390
00:17:52,646 --> 00:17:55,536
Archer: Pyoo! Pyoo! (Narcos laughing)
391
00:17:55,668 --> 00:18:01,240
Cyril: Suppressing fiiiiiire!
(Narcos shouting)
392
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:07,478
Archer: Okay, okay!
(Moans) Goddamn it, Cyril!
393
00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:10,829
Cyril: Woooooo!! (Chuckles)
Oh, geez, oh, geez, oh, geez! Sorry.
394
00:18:10,977 --> 00:18:14,865
Archer: That's why I wanted you to be stick.
Ray: Uh-uh!
395
00:18:15,253 --> 00:18:18,299
Archer: Yeah, come on. It's been a long day.
Boss Narco: Do you have any
396
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:24,003
idea who we are?
Archer: Mmm... nope. Do you know who we are?
397
00:18:24,386 --> 00:18:28,445
Boss Narco: No.
Archer: Then blow me.
398
00:18:28,596 --> 00:18:32,666
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight.
(Archer chuckles)
399
00:18:32,817 --> 00:18:35,719
Why are we not still doing phrasing?
Cyril: Why are we still not
400
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:39,583
worrying about who's gonna fly the damn plane?!
Archer: Oh, right.
401
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:43,020
?Oye, pendejos!?Qui?n es el piloto? (Narcos snicker)
402
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,655
_
403
00:18:46,099 --> 00:18:47,816
Cyril: Oh, you are kidding.
Archer: Okay, Ray, ballpark,
404
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:52,091
- how long will it take you to teach me
how to fly a plane? Ray: What... how long?
405
00:18:52,227 --> 00:18:54,412
Cyril: I flew the space shuttle.
Archer: Cyril, hush.
406
00:18:54,557 --> 00:18:57,459
Big guys. Ray, how long...
Ray: How long will it take
407
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:02,041
you, Archer, to admit you dick around every
time we're in danger just to screw with
408
00:19:02,194 --> 00:19:05,327
everybody because of your complete...
409
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:08,526
no, your utter contempt
for your own mortality?
410
00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:14,469
Archer: I mean... Yeah, duh.
Ray: That's all I wanted.
411
00:19:14,622 --> 00:19:15,855
(Grunts)
412
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,723
Oh, you could walk this whole time?
413
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,526
No, Cyril, of course I'm not mad.
414
00:19:27,456 --> 00:19:29,427
I think what Ray did was awesome.
415
00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:31,126
Okay, then, well you are an idiot.
416
00:19:31,252 --> 00:19:32,265
Your words.
417
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,084
Which I guess, so am I,
418
00:19:34,211 --> 00:19:36,946
since I just realized we can't land anywhere
with all this cocaine on board.
419
00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:38,709
Oh, my God, you guys,
where are we gonna land?
420
00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:40,888
Jesus Christ, woman, calm down.
421
00:19:41,016 --> 00:19:44,529
We got 5 hours of fuel.
We'll worry about that when we have to.
422
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,514
Guess I'm rubbing off on you, Ray.
423
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,813
- Goddammit!
- What?
424
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:54,897
Why aren't we doing phrasing?
425
00:20:04,498 --> 00:20:14,814
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
426
00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:19,414
Repair and Synchronization by
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