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00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:05,000
Hurry,
hurry, sit down, come in!
2
00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:07,330
I have the most fantastic news!
3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,000
What, did
Bub finally die?
4
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,270
Who's Bub?
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00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:12,740
My mother, and before
you make some snotty comment,
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00:00:12,740 --> 00:00:15,900
yes I have a mother, do you
want to hear my news or not?!
7
00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,500
Yeah, if you're done
yelling at me for no reason.
8
00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:23,440
Last night, an Air Force B-52
bomber crashed off the coast of Bermuda!
9
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,500
- What? That's bad news!
- Well it's about frickin time!
10
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:29,880
What, we're we not bombing them in
advance of an amphibious invasion?
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00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,180
Why would we invade.
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00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,310
Bermuda.
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00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:35,710
Ah, Bermuda. I
was thinking Bahamas.
14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,550
Same question.
15
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:39,420
Same answer, Why not? It's
how we got the Virgin Islands.
16
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,990
Actually, the United States
bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark.
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00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:45,290
- Okay, Mr. Peabody...
- Are you finished?
18
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:46,420
Yes.
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00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,090
Good. Because the B-52 was -
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00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,790
In the middle of
the Bermuda Triangle, is this
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00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:53,530
about the Bermuda Triangle, because
that's my fourth biggest fear!
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00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,260
It's about
the B-52's payload!
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00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:57,930
Namely, a Mark-28
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00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,300
hydrogen bomb.
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00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,770
Ohhhh!
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00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,330
Which ISIS...
is going to recover.
27
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:04,430
What!?
28
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,870
And then give to the U.S.
government in exchange for a huge reward!
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00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:11,270
So, ransom it back.
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00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:16,710
No, not ransom it, Cyril, we're-
look, semantics, whatever, this is -
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00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:17,310
Treason?
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00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,910
A huge
opportunity for ISIS!
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00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:25,950
- Or the Russians...- The B-52 is
on the ocean floor here, at a depth
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00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:27,420
of eight thousand feet...
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00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,750
or thirteen hundred
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00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:29,890
thirty-three fathoms.
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00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,090
How do you know that?
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00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:31,860
How do you not?
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00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,960
So recovering the bomb
requires a deep submergence
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00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:39,730
vehicle. The only American DSV is here,
in the Pacific. The Russians have
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00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,230
one in the North Atlantic, so if
they hear about the wreck and start
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00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:47,110
- steaming toward it-
- They don't actually steam anymore, Mother.
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00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:50,270
It's a figure of speech,
like "shut your hatch,"
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00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,880
because my point was, the Russians will
beat them to it. So we are going to
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00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,280
beat the Russians.
46
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,520
Give it up, folks!
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00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,250
Mike Eruzione!
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00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:05,490
Well - shut up - since
Krieger doesn't have a
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00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:10,530
- submersible hidden in his lab...
- Or do I?
50
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,560
I don't, actually.
51
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,760
Then how are we supposed to
beat anybody to a hydrogen bomb, under
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00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:18,230
two-point-two-seven
leagues of water?!
53
00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:21,470
Oh my Jesus
God damn alright already!
54
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:22,870
Can I
possibly help you?
55
00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:25,440
Please, I know
you were talking loud so
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00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,040
I'd hear you, so whatever, but
we're not speaking so if you
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00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:33,010
want a deep submergence whatever you can
talk to my stupid gross brother Cecil!
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00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:35,280
Who, by the way, is
here to see you.
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00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,180
Ms. Archer will see you now.
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00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:39,410
Thank you, Cheryl, I-
Rrraaaghh!
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00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:42,080
I hate you!
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00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,020
Hello, I'm Cecil Tunt.
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00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:46,420
I believe you're in need
of some assistance?
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00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,960
Yeah, RienPoortvliet just called,
he wants you to pose for him.
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00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,330
C'mon, beloved
illustrator of "Gnomes"?
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00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:57,130
Jesus, read a
coffee table book!
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00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:36,330
Wow, you own an
island, an undersea laboratory,
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00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,220
and this... choppersaurus?
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00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,560
Guess it doesn't suck to
be a billionaire, huh?
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00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,660
Probably not, but
Cheryl and I split our
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00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:47,300
parents' estate, so technically I'm
only worth five hundred million.
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00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,760
Which also doesn't
suck, obviously.
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00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:52,300
Unlike you
who totally sucks obviously!
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00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,040
Will you shut up?!
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00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,610
I swear to God, if you get us kicked
off before I get my jumbo scrimps on -
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00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:01,140
You'll wish you were
Michael Findlay.
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00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,780
A, Cecil won't
kick you off, he wants
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00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,250
everybody here, for no good reason--
He doesn't need one,
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00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,850
he's an American hero. Who's
going to make me rich.
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00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,750
And B, that's
not even real shrimp.
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00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,150
This is all vegan-soy-bullshit.
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00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,190
Pffrrfft! Prrfft! Puh!
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00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:15,220
Because he's
totally vegan, because his
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00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,760
stupid gross girlfriend Tiffy's a
vegan, and a... brother-stealer!
85
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,230
Who can also
totally heeearyoooou...
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00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:23,260
Which is amazing
because why aren't you dead
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00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:24,330
from protein deficiency?!
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00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,040
Uh, because I get all
eight essential amino acids
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00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,340
from amaranth and quinoa without
murdering helpless animals?
90
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,070
Oooooh!
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00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:32,970
kkkuughh!
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00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,440
Hey, Tiff?
93
00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:38,110
Could you, instead of antagonizing
her, maybe go ahead and take off?
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00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,650
Love yoooou.
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00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,190
We'll rendezvous with my research vessel
in a few hours, so in the meantime,
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00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:49,030
I guess, continue to make such
wildly liberal use of the bar.
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00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:53,530
Done! You're okay, Cecil. I
don't get why Cheryl hates you so much.
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00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:54,060
Right?
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00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:56,170
I mean, you've got
this whole Jacques Cousteau-
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00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:59,440
- thing going on, that's-
- Just one of many philanthropies. I have so
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00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,970
much on my plate, as it were.
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00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:05,040
Children Without Plates, speaking of
plates, uh, Doctors Within Borders...
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00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,140
Within borders.
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00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,980
Well, of countries
ravaged by war.
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00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:11,080
Right, otherwise-
Otherwise there's not really much point.
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00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,990
Then there's Nourish A Child, Shoe
A Child, Bespectacle A Child,
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00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:19,760
- umm, One Laptop Per Child Soldier...
- Wait, what?
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00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,430
Which, unfortunately, soon became
One Thousand Laptops Per Warlord.
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00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:25,930
Man, all those charities
have gotta cost, like -
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00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:28,070
Hey! I should
go help Tiffy.
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00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:33,440
Since we're flying into the Bermuda Triangle...
where mysteries abound!
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00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,140
What kind of mysteries?
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00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:38,410
I'm kidding!
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00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:40,610
Well Cheryl,
you come by it honest.
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00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:42,510
- Speaking of...
- Aagh! Lana c'mon,
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00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,320
we're about to fly into the
Bermuda Triangle, my nerves
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00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,820
are frayed enough as it is.
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00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:46,690
Really.
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00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:49,120
No, Long Island Iced
Tea number three really took
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00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,120
the edge off. Want one?
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00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,990
No, I'm not drinking, but-
Oh my God! I totally saw this coming!
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00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,960
You saw what coming?
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00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,030
Did you not join
the Nation of Islam?
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00:05:58,030 --> 00:05:59,060
No, Archer, I -
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00:05:59,070 --> 00:05:59,830
You know they won't
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00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:00,800
let you keep dating Cyril,
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00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,130
right? Plus no bacon?
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00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,770
You done?
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00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,840
Well for now, but after I take a nap-
You'll wake up just in
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00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,740
time to get shot for treason, because
your mother wants to ransom a hydrogen
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00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,480
bomb back to the United
States government.
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00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,980
It's a reward! And maritime
salvage law is very clear on the subject.
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00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,750
According to Cecil.
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00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,120
And what's he
getting out of this?
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00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,620
I... guess whatever useless
thing philanthropists normally get from
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00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:24,530
squandering their
money on the poor.
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00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:28,460
So what, he's conducting a huge
naval operation just for a warm fuzzy?
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00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,460
I -- hey, wait a second!
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00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,370
What?
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00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,170
I think I have
room for a fuzzy navel.
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00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:37,200
Wow Tiffy,
who taught you how to fly?
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00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:39,970
Was it that goose you freed,
ruining last year's Christmas
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00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:43,580
dinner, or --
Rrrgh, Cecil, I swear to Goddess...?
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00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:47,250
I know, Tiffy, but please, try
to focus on the greater good. In the
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00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:50,080
words of the immortal Jeremy Bentham-
Good thing I'm
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00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:53,150
immortal, cause if she says one
more word to me I will slam
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00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,190
this helicopter into
the frickin ocean.
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00:06:56,190 --> 00:07:00,030
Well, you seem busy.
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00:07:00,030 --> 00:07:05,270
So say it's worth two billion,
a fair reward on that would be...
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00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,630
um, hello!
151
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,640
Oh, Mr. Tunt! Please,
join me, you're just the person
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00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,670
- I want to talk to...
- And I you. About my
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00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,640
sister. I was curious if
you'd noticed anything...
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00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,810
well, curious, about
her behavior.
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00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,750
Ha! Ha! Ha!
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00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,110
Oh, you're serious.
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00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,780
I'm afraid so, yes.
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00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,950
Well how much
time do you have?
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00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:32,230
- As much as you need...
- Oh my God, I
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00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:36,600
don't know what to say... I have
figuratively lost my tongue.
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00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,000
With Brent it
was almost literally.
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00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,770
That's why we can't
have scissors.
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00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,070
I had no idea her mental state
had declined to such an extent. I mean,
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00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:48,210
- the arson's not surprising...
- What have you done?
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00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,040
Ha haha!
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00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,880
Take that, gazebo!
167
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,150
But you're
telling me she had...
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00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:56,050
Mm! Choke-sex,
that's her kink!
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00:07:56,050 --> 00:08:00,020
With a KGB cyborg. After she led him
straight to the ISIS safehouse,
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00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,830
at 921 East
Seventy-Third Street.
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00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,590
Oh my -- wait,
is that classified?
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00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,000
- I won't tell if you won't tell...
- Mmmkay! Well, I
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00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,100
appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer-
Oh no, it's Ms.
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00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,230
Oh.
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00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:19,230
Ms., yes, thank
you for, um... yes.
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00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,540
Come on, you
call this fully stocked?
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00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:34,280
And no Georgia peaches?
What the--?
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00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,180
What're you doing?
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00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,080
I --
what're you doing?!
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00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,050
Hairy navel. Started
as a fuzzy, but I'm calling
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00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:44,820
this vacation, so... Okay.
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00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:47,050
Love our little talks!
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00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,620
Rrowrf. Nom nom nomnomnom.
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00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,320
Hi, it's Pam, right?
185
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,160
Enjoying the cruelty-free
vegan seafood buffet?
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00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,830
Mrmff, it's pretty good, once you
get over how allergic I am to soy.
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00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,400
What?! Oh my
God, don't eat that!
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00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,840
Wh-? Hey! I am
a consenting adult.
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00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,640
Plus I assume you've got an epi-pen
on this big Riptide-lookin' bastard?
190
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,080
I -- yes, in the first
aid kit in the cockpit, but -
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00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,850
Well then shut up.
192
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:17,120
Shutting up, yes. But before I do, could I...
ask you a few questions?
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00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,790
How is everybody
okay with this?
194
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,620
How are you not?
195
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:21,320
Lana, you heard Ms.
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00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,320
Archer, it's either us
or the Russians, and -
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00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,160
I did not hear that, actually, but-
But if you found
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00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,930
somebody's wallet, you'd
expect to get a reward, so -
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00:09:28,930 --> 00:09:30,500
What if they
won't pay a reward?
200
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,070
Then what, she just
keeps the bomb?
201
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,430
C'mon, it's not
gonna come to that.
202
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,570
Ooh, but if it does
we could move to Cecil's island
203
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,000
and be a rogue state!
204
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,610
- Coool...
- Ugh, forget it.
205
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:44,110
Oh, and also dummies? We're five
hundred miles from the nearest tree.
206
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:46,780
Hey thanks, Magellan!
207
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:49,480
Hey wait, why the heck are you
painting my face like this?!
208
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,020
Cause you look fierce.
209
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,020
Rrowr.
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00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,150
Rrowrf.
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00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,020
Well thank you, Pam,
I appreciate your candor,
212
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:59,160
and -- you really, really should
really stop eating those.
213
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,530
Last one.
214
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:04,060
Mmrowmf.
215
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,100
Malory, please, is there any way
I can get you to reconsider this?
216
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,870
- Well, if you feel that strongly...
- I so do.
217
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:14,610
Cecil says marine salvage goes
for ten to twenty percent of the item's
218
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:18,550
value, but since all I'm asking is a
measly three percent, if you've got
219
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,250
sixty million dollars
lying around...?
220
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,250
Bwexqueeze me?!
221
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:23,550
I know, right?
222
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:25,450
It's a steal at twice the price.
223
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:29,060
Yeah and about that, Cyril
figured out how big our bonuses should be.
224
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,160
Your what?!
225
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,330
I -- Ray made me!
226
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,730
Cyril! C'mon
you're fierce, rrowr!
227
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:36,260
Rrraarrgh!
228
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,600
No! Don't!
229
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,040
Uh, could I speak
to you for a moment?
230
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,470
"Wildly liberal use,"
231
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,210
Cecil, those were
your exact words!
232
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:48,640
No, of course, that's totally fine,
but I wanted to talk to you about -
233
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,110
Don't say high-
functioning alcoholism.
234
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,150
I wasn't. Going to.
235
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:54,210
Well then
what's on your mind?
236
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,820
- Well, it's about my sister...
- Hey whoa! I dunno what
237
00:10:57,820 --> 00:11:01,290
she told you but Carol's a consenting adult, so-
Well that's actually
238
00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,660
kind of my point, I wanted
to ask if you'd ever
239
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:11,000
seen my sister acting strangely, or-
Ha! Oh, you're serious.
240
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:20,070
Just ignore
it, it's non-diegetic.
241
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,580
Last one,
stinky-pinky-swear.
242
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:23,810
Mrowf.
243
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:24,810
Psst! Pam!
244
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,910
Aw crap, already?
245
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:27,580
Pam!
246
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:31,620
Look, auditory hallucinations aren't
gonna make you any less delicious.
247
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,050
Hey! I was talking to that!
248
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,320
Shhh! Shut up!
I need your help!
249
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,560
And that's how you ask?
250
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,230
Cecil's like,
interviewing everybody!
251
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,790
Yeah, he -- is he?
Doing that?
252
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,100
Yes! And I
think he's taping it!
253
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,930
Look, there's
cameras everywhere!
254
00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:45,130
Huh.
255
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,700
I think he's
taping them saying I'm crazy
256
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:49,770
so he can show it to a judge and
get a conservatorship over me!
257
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,440
Huh.
258
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,810
"Huh" what?!
259
00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:56,810
I mean... ya think that's
the worst idea anybody ever had?
260
00:11:56,810 --> 00:11:58,310
Oh. My God.
261
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,580
I know, it's hard to hear, but-
262
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:01,310
Owww!
263
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,480
I thought
you were my friend!
264
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,690
Yeah and for like six months you
also thought you were a werewolf!
265
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:09,990
Aw crap, I can't feel my face.
266
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:15,400
Last one, swear to God.
267
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,900
Swear to God, every full moon
she'd make us lock her in the ISIS vault.
268
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,440
Oh my God, how
are you laughing?
269
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,970
That's not funny, it's tragic!
270
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:28,610
I -- no yeah, but you
know, plus time, it equals -
271
00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,550
Thank you, I've
heard quite enough.
272
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:34,780
Now if you'll please excuse me, I-
Cecil? My darling whom I love?
273
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:37,050
And also strangers
whom I don't even like?
274
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:39,050
Our ETA is fifteen minutes.
275
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:44,130
And the seas are really choppy, so
we may be in for a rough landing.
276
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,000
Thank you love yoooooou.
277
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,470
So you may want to
switch to coffee.
278
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,100
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhh.
279
00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:56,040
Oh, you're still serious.
280
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,480
Or am I?
281
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,510
I am, actually.
282
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:03,710
Have you people
lost your minds?!
283
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,620
- 'cause apparently it's going around...
- Because - shut up - if
284
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:11,620
we recover the bomb, I will decide if
any of you receives a tiny bonus, so -
285
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:12,720
If?! If?!
286
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,260
Guys, shut up,
I got this, shut up.
287
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,560
What do you mean, if?!
288
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:16,960
Also, what are we talking about?
289
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,800
Nothing. There's nothing to talk
about, because I am -- Jesus Christ!
290
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,140
Okay, it's either
the altitude or a stroke.
291
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:27,240
Mother, it's Sterling!
Do you smell toast?
292
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,040
Pam?!
293
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,650
Grrrgh, grrrgh!
294
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:35,280
What the-
-- hell are you doing?!
295
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,520
The cockpit is off
limits, missy!
296
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,690
Oh yeah?!
Well so's my inheritance!
297
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,560
Goddammit, shut
up John Williams!
298
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,090
Oh my God you
really are crazy!
299
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,060
Would a crazy person do this?!
300
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,460
Ungh!
301
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:53,830
Yes!
302
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,470
What the
hell's going on?!
303
00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:57,400
It's Cheryl!
She's in the cockpit!
304
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:59,940
I think she's trying
to kill us all!
305
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,040
Oh good.
306
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,600
For a second there I
thought I drank too much.
307
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:16,050
Cheryl!
Cheryl, open the door!
308
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:19,760
Rrrr! Rrrk! Why the
hell's there a lock on it?!
309
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,060
Well obviously to
prevent this exact scenario
310
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,930
from ever happening, but-
Now?! Really?! You think this is a
311
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:25,930
good time to be facetious?!
312
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,260
I'm -- fairly certain you're
not using "facetious" correctlrrmp.
313
00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:32,090
Cheryl? Can you come out here so
we can talk about this like adults?
314
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,460
Who aren't gonna die
in a helicopter crash?
315
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,130
We'll crash with the tapes!
Of all of you stupid
316
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:39,870
jerks saying I'm crazy!
317
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:40,570
The what?
318
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,240
The tapes!
It's part of his sneaky
319
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,840
plan to get a conservatorship over
me so he can steal my inheritance!
320
00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,880
That's why she
hijacked his helicopter?
321
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,350
Man, talk about rich
people problems.
322
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,050
- Grrrgh...
- What're you -- Archer, Pam is dying!
323
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,020
Cyril shut up!
I'm in charge here!
324
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:59,790
And...okay, here's
what we're doing!
325
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,700
Emergency tracheotomy!
326
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,930
Grrrk?!
327
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:05,760
With a crazy straw?!
328
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:08,770
It's fine, it's pretty
sterile, that Hairy Navel
329
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,440
was mostly Kentucky Moon.
330
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,140
Grrrgh!
331
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:13,010
That's not how
you make a Hairy Navel!
332
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:16,440
I know, it's a new drink, help
me think of a name, so far all I've
333
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,440
got is Horatio Cornblower.
334
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,380
Which... Okay, Pam!
Here's what's happening!
335
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,780
I'm gonna make a
small incision in
336
00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:25,080
- your trachea with this...
- Grrrrk?!
337
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,420
Archer!
338
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:29,490
- Yeah right, that's not sterile...
- Ugh! And since when do
339
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:31,060
you carry a switchblade?!
340
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:34,430
It's a long
story, Mother!
341
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:35,930
Neat.
342
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,960
Well, not so much long as
just not very interesting.
343
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:42,770
Okay, Pam, you with me? Then, I'm
gonna stick this in the incision,
344
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:43,770
and you should be good to go.
345
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:44,470
Ready?
346
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:45,740
Nnghnnnngh!
347
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:48,040
I -- no, don't--
Pam, stop it!
348
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:50,910
Nnghnnnngh!
349
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,740
Okay, sorry in
advance for this...
350
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:54,380
Ungh!
351
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,810
Unnngh!
352
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:56,550
Frstrrrdkerrrrrt!
353
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:59,050
Erperperrrrrn!
354
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,650
Oh my God, the first aid kit!
I think it might have an epi-pen!
355
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:02,720
Rrrrhrrrr!
356
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,990
Ow, jeez, and
hopefully a cold pack...
357
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,990
Go get the
damn first aid kit!
358
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,360
I am! But not
because you said so!
359
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,990
Just breathe
Pam, it's on the way!
360
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,900
So, you think Cecil's really trying
to steal Cheryl's inheritance?
361
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,100
Who cares?!
362
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,370
Well you should.
363
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:18,200
Because...?
364
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,670
Because you've been
trying to get your bony manhooks
365
00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:23,440
on her money for years, and
how the hell're you gonna
366
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,940
do that if Cecil gets it?!
367
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,480
Tapes! We have to find
and destroy the tapes there
368
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,710
must be some sort of recording
device somewhere and
369
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,120
why are you still
standing there go!
370
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,050
What about Pam?!
371
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:33,980
I'll buy you a new one!
372
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,190
Oww!
373
00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:36,390
Grrgh, grrgh!
374
00:16:36,390 --> 00:16:41,060
Oh, quit milking it.
375
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,130
Hey hey hey,
whoa, Lana stop!
376
00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:43,730
What?!
377
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:47,130
If you damage that, it might
not work in the event of an emergency.
378
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,430
And what would
you call this?!
379
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:49,360
Oh right.
380
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,930
Speaking of, Pam's dying
of anaphylactic shock.
381
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:53,070
You got a first aid kit?
382
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,800
I -- it's in the cockpit!
383
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,470
Which is locked,
and -- no nonono!
384
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,070
BLAM
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!
385
00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:58,870
Gagh!
386
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,940
And also
apparently bulletproof.
387
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,040
Well yeah, you'd want
388
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,410
it to be, to prevent-
You shot me!
389
00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:05,810
You idiot!
390
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,580
Hey! First of all,
if I shot you you'd know it!
391
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,080
And secondly, now
who's the idiot?
392
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:12,850
Wh-? You! All of you!
393
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:13,690
You're here because I wanted
394
00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:15,160
you here, so I could -
395
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:15,960
Help us get the
396
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,090
hydrogen bomb, yeah.
397
00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:20,830
Oh my God!
There is no bomb!
398
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:21,960
What?!
399
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,070
Well, guess I
had that coming...
400
00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:26,900
Grrgh!
401
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,140
Well you don't
have to rub it in!
402
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:32,740
I just wanted to get you people
on tape saying Cheryl was crazy, so I
403
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:36,750
could get control of her inheritance
to fund my numerous philanthropies!
404
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:40,650
A-ha! Hang on.
405
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:45,850
Now shut up! And land...
This... shitheap!
406
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:49,220
Ahem. Now, I believe there was some
mention of anaphylactic shock?
407
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,030
Thank you!
408
00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,830
She's my patient, Lana!
409
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:55,100
Wait, so if all you wanted was to
get us on tape saying she's crazy...
410
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,900
Which I'm
totally not, by the wrrmp.
411
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,070
You could've done
that in a lawyer's office.
412
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:01,940
Why drag us all the way out to the
middle of the frickin ocean?!
413
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:05,040
Well... promise
you won't get mad?
414
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,770
Uh, no?
415
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:08,710
You asshole!
416
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,110
Stupid! Drunk ass!
417
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:13,450
Switchblade
tracheotomygivin dicknuts!
418
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:14,050
Ow!
419
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,120
Rrrgh!
420
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,280
Sorry, thanks, I
feel a lot better.
421
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:21,720
Yeah that's why I jammed it
in your neck, I figured if -- oww!
422
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,060
What the
hell was that for?!
423
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,060
Horatio Cornblower?!
424
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,090
I know, right?
425
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:27,690
You got anything?
426
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:28,660
Dicknuts.
427
00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:29,960
Okay, we got the tapes!
428
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Big whoop.
429
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,100
I -- wait, I thought you
wanted -what just happened?
430
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,970
It was a hoax!
There is no bomb!
431
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,140
Boom! Guess
you had that comin'
432
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,410
Oh, put another
man's penis in it.
433
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:44,710
Attention unwelcome passengers...
We are now landing, so please
434
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:47,150
find your seats and
fasten your seat belts.
435
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:53,190
Or not, because frankly, I could give
a shit if all you people live or die.
436
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:55,890
The odds on which I'd put at about...
whatcha think,
437
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,320
Cecil? Fifty-to-one?
438
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,860
Lana? What's going on?
439
00:18:58,860 --> 00:18:59,890
Somebody shot him.
440
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,490
Will you...?
Lana, what's going on?
441
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,130
Why don't you ask Cecil?
442
00:19:04,130 --> 00:19:06,530
Ow! God, your
hands are like --ow!
443
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:10,800
Well as you may know, one of my many
philanthropic endeavors is an undersea
444
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,900
research laboratory, which, as
luck would have it, is actually
445
00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:15,150
beneath us right now.
446
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,740
Cut. To the chase.
447
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:21,130
Ow! Anyhoo, the lead scientist is
threatening -- well, he can tell you.
448
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:24,680
Ahem. Captain Murphy?
449
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,610
Please tell
me you guys heard that.
450
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,700
Ahhhh. Mister Tunt.
451
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:32,840
Don't worry,
he can't see us.
452
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,010
- No, but I can hear you...
- Although he can hear us.
453
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:40,250
Yes I can, and please hear me.
For years, decades,
454
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:44,150
I have begged the so-called leaders of
the world to stop poisoning our oceans.
455
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,350
But they have ignored my pleas.
456
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:48,780
As I will ignore theirs, Mr. Tunt.
457
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:52,300
Unless my
list of demands is met in the next...
458
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:56,250
Tsk tsk, twelve hours. At which
point, I will launch our
459
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:59,130
missiles on Washington,
Miami, and New York.
460
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,990
Hope everybody has a gas mask.
461
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,830
Why do they
have missiles?!
462
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,960
And what did he
mean by "gas mask"?!
463
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,160
I, you know, that was,
I think, maybe, probably,
464
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:16,000
because the missiles are definitely
tipped with VX nerve gas?
465
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,110
Oh my God!
466
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:19,010
What?
467
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:22,940
The -- it's-- the -- dammit!
468
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:26,310
Still can't beat
Horatio Cornblower.
469
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,720
Dicknuts!
470
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,950
Hrmmmff.
471
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,550
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