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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:06,841 ANNOUNCER: All aboard, for safety and adventure! 2 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,385 On the rigid airship Excelsior... 3 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,888 ...where the pampered luxury of a cruise ship... 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,557 ...meets the smoothness of modern air travel. 5 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,561 Yes, when you fly Excelsior, you're flying in style! 6 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,230 And safety! BOY: Safety? 7 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,233 But isn't hydrogen flammable? And how, Timmy! 8 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,610 That's why Excelsior is filled with safe... 9 00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:29,239 ...natural helium. Why, it's actually flame-retardant! 10 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,115 Neat! And safe! 11 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:34,452 So, whether you're enjoying Excelsior's majestic vistas... 12 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:37,580 ...duty-free shopping, high-stakes baccarat... 13 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,457 ...dancing with your lovely wife... 14 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,752 ...or even a cigar after a French gourmet dinner... 15 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:46,422 ...you'll be enjoying them in style. And safety! 16 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:49,634 All aboard Excelsior! ARCHER: God. 17 00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,302 Who'd wanna put a bomb on that? 18 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,596 That's what we're hoping ISIS can find out. 19 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:57,809 No, why bother? Some broad gets on there with a staticky sweater, and boom, it's: 20 00:00:57,976 --> 00:01:00,645 [WAILING] "Oh, the humanity!" 21 00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:02,313 No, no, that... - Sterling. 22 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,982 Were you watching some other commercial just now? 23 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,817 It's a rigid airship. 24 00:01:05,984 --> 00:01:09,320 Filled with helium. - Which is non-flammable! Dumb-ass. 25 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:12,240 I thought our promotional video covered that fairly well. 26 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,993 Oh, and how. Sterling, it's totally safe. 27 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,078 Well, except for the bomb threat. 28 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,580 No, not to worry, dear. 29 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,749 ISIS won't let terrorists blow up your lovely blimp. 30 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,586 Rigid airship. - My top two agents will be on board. 31 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,505 Nope! - And I will oversee the operation... 32 00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:31,926 ...personally from what I assume will be first-class accommodations. 33 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,012 Oh, actually we are fully booked. 34 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,973 Well, if you think, oh, I don't know... 35 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:41,185 ...this "Trudy Beekman" person can thwart a major terror plot. 36 00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,354 I suppose we could bump Mrs. Beekman. 37 00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,024 Bump me, I'm not going. - If these two share a cabin. 38 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,651 Nope! - Not going to let the terrorists win! 39 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:51,112 We'll pose as husband and wife! - Nope! 40 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:54,157 Cyril would totally freak. Malory, let me stay with you. 41 00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,034 We'll do the whole Oprah-Gayle thing. 42 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,870 Nope! I need a stateroom to myself... 43 00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:03,166 ...in case I have a gentleman caller. - Um... 44 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,001 Mother, please. - Please... 45 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,462 ...do not make me do this. - But Lana... 46 00:02:07,629 --> 00:02:09,964 ...think of the innocent lives you'll be saving. 47 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,009 And also the fact that this is a direct order. 48 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,053 At least tell me it's separate beds. 49 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,347 Um... Hmm. - LANA: Ugh. 50 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,057 Lana. 51 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,767 Lana. 52 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,852 Lana! 53 00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,687 Lana! - What? 54 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,189 [COUGHS] 55 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,066 Danger zone! 56 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:04,060 Terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly bad feeling about this. 57 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,896 Baby, I really need you to trust me. Okay, now... 58 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,941 ...is the cabin small? Yes. - ARCHER: And yet... 59 00:03:10,108 --> 00:03:13,444 ...surprising amount of storage. - Ugh. And I'll hardly be in here, okay? 60 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,739 I've got a terrorist to find, and I doubt he's hiding under... 61 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,908 What's basically a twin bed. - Archer. 62 00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:22,495 Since it's all drawers under here, because look how tiny this room is! 63 00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:26,582 Oh, my God, it's like a broom closet. - And yet, a surprising amount of storage. 64 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,710 Oh, shut up, and Cyril? 65 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,879 Very eager to know why you're still here. - He was just... 66 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:35,425 Just helping Lana get settled. - Trust me, Cyril. She already settled. 67 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,135 Hey! - Hey! 68 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,429 Disembark, Cyril. We're about to... 69 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,181 ...launch, or whatever blimps do. 70 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:45,059 Yeah, what does a blimp do, Pam? 71 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,103 Uh... Kick your skinny ass? 72 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,772 Now come on, we gotta get off this thing before... 73 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,317 Relax! God, we've got half an hour. 74 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:57,613 Oh. Well then, make me a double Campari and, uh... 75 00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,782 I guess vodka? 76 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,661 We don't normally drink on the bridge. - Well, I don't normally fly... 77 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,621 ...on the Hindenburg 2.0. - It's not... 78 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,791 Cyril doesn't normally storm off without even kissing me goodbye! 79 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,960 We're all out of our comfort zone. 80 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,505 Not me, my stateroom is gorgeous. - Oh. 81 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:18,968 That, what's her name, Beekman? I bet she's just sick she got bumped. 82 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,179 Yes, she literally vomited from anger. 83 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,890 So if we could just focus on the bomb threat? 84 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,183 How about crew members? 85 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,685 Anyone who might be disgruntled? - Um... 86 00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:29,771 [SPEAKS IN GERMAN] 87 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,356 LAMMERS: That's Lieutenant Krauss. 88 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:35,193 He and I were both up for command of the Excelsior, but... 89 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,695 You got it. Leaving him with motive. 90 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,781 Release the mooring cable! 91 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,366 Come on! It's not Larry Luftwaffe, that's... 92 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,202 Oopsie. Ha-ha-ha. 93 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,953 ...Ugh, way too obvious. 94 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,790 PAM: Goddamn it! We're moving! 95 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,542 I know! - What happened to half an hour? 96 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,336 - What? I lied! 97 00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:55,546 CYRIL: Why the hell are you two still here? 98 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,634 Because I knew you'd be here, because you don't trust Lana with Mr. Archer. 99 00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,344 No! No, now that is... 100 00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:03,554 So ironic, Cyril! - CYRIL: Ugh. 101 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,723 Especially in light of recent... - CYRIL: No. 102 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:10,394 ...rug-burny events. - Oh, my God! 103 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:11,854 You two banged? 104 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:15,817 I... Uh... See, here's the thing... 105 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,862 Fruit basket! - Wow. You are just a dog in a manger. 106 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:21,948 I don't know what that means, Pam. 107 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,909 I didn't grow up on a cheese farm. - Oh, for the... 108 00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:27,411 It's called a dairy. 109 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,248 Even a hint of a problem on our maiden voyage... 110 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,208 ...would kill Excelsior's stock price. 111 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,627 So, Lana, canvas the passengers and crew... 112 00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,922 ...learn what you can about Krauss... - But please, be discreet! 113 00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:41,300 Hey, good advice! Which maybe I'll just sort of fold in... 114 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,095 ...with my 12 years of experience as a covert operative. 115 00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:46,848 Don't be snotty. And Sterling, if there is a bomb... 116 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,184 Captain, dear, where would it do the most damage? 117 00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,854 Probably in... - This new place called anywhere? 118 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,106 This whole thing's a bomb. Jesus! - It's not... 119 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:57,692 Wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock? - Ow! 120 00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,443 Sterling! - For the last time... 121 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:03,281 ...the Excelsior is filled with non-flammable helium! 122 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,616 Although this is a non-smoking area, sir. 123 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,702 Damn it, he's a prospective investor! 124 00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:11,372 Not after that, I bet. And forget about Krauss. There's your bomber. 125 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,707 Who? What? 126 00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:14,834 ARCHER: That guy. Beardsley McTurbanhead. 127 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:18,629 You idiot. That's Sandu Singh, the billionaire investor! 128 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,840 He's a Sikh! - Oh, so if he's not a Muslim... 129 00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:22,133 ...he just gets a pass? 130 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,719 That's called profiling, Mother, and I don't do it. 131 00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:27,805 Singh is Excelsior's majority shareholder. - So? 132 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:31,475 If anything went wrong on this flight, he'd lose millions. 133 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,102 It's a perfect cover. - Sterling. 134 00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,770 Just look for the stupid bomb. 135 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,940 Relax. What do we have, like, four hours before we get to London? 136 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,360 Sterling, are you joking? - The crossing takes 24 hours. 137 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,487 Are you joking? What? - Rigid airships... 138 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,656 ...combine the pampering of a cruise ship... 139 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:49,243 ...with the speed of... - Some other, slightly faster ship? 140 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,121 Uh, hello, airplanes? Yeah, it's blimps. 141 00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,498 You win, bye! Oh, God. 142 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:58,920 I hope you didn't invest in this. - It'll be fine, though. 143 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,547 As long as nothing goes wrong on this flight. 144 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,675 Oh, captain, my captain... 145 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:08,346 ...with ISIS on board, what could possibly go wrong? 146 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,555 Pick one! 147 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:13,517 Either A, I tell Lana what happened on that scratchy green office rug... 148 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,603 ...or two, you get inside me. 149 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,189 Or C, maybe I just jam this mop... 150 00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:20,149 ...into the engine and kill all of us. 151 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,777 I don't think that's how blimps work. - Darn, right. 152 00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:24,695 We'd just sort of float around. 153 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,823 Stupid naturally safe helium! 154 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,284 But I am liking the jamming imagery. 155 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:34,205 And the killing. - And are you just gonna sit there? 156 00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,290 Yeah, until she tags me in! 157 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,960 What? - I'm kidding! 158 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,212 My back's all messed up. 159 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,842 PAM: So you're ruining Cyril's life because... 160 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:51,013 ...in your "dream the impossible dream" world, it'll make Mr. Archer jealous? 161 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,684 Oh, Pamela. You read me like a poem. 162 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:58,854 Yeah? What's the poem gonna be about when Cyril snaps and murders you? 163 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,191 I don't know. World's gushiest orgasm? 164 00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:05,695 Can you just get out of the way! 165 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,530 What, are you gonna shoot me again? - Yes! 166 00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:09,740 Oh. Well, then hang on. 167 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:13,119 Cyril's already freaked out enough about us sharing this shoebox... 168 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,871 ...without you air-drying your unkempt bush. 169 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,749 ARCHER: Unkempt bush? You're one to talk. 170 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:23,879 Ah. My vulva is smoother than a veal cutlet. 171 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,715 With terrible timing. - Oh, really. 172 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,842 Baby... - Did I interrupt something? 173 00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:30,344 Oh... Rehearsal with your Commodores tribute band? 174 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,556 Archer! Cyril, what are you doing here? 175 00:08:33,723 --> 00:08:35,933 I wanted to tell you something very important... 176 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:40,271 ...but apparently you're too busy showing off your vealy vulva! 177 00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:44,275 Cyril! You know, your whole trust thing, and I've tried to, okay? 178 00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,569 Okay, you know what? We are on a break! 179 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:47,778 Oh, yeah? - LANA: Yeah! 180 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,614 Well, that's fine by me. - Cyril, wait. 181 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,283 MAN: No running! - CYRIL: Shut up. 182 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,890 Oh, my God, what have I...? - What're you doing? Go after him! 183 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,705 Oh. You think I should? - Yes! 184 00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,373 We're almost out of fruit. 185 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,835 Which is why I find it strange that you're so incredibly calm. 186 00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:06,922 Well, that seaweed wrap just slurps out the stress. 187 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,801 Can't wait to tell Trudy Beekman all about it. 188 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,387 If, um, we ever meet. 189 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,931 What about you? Anything on Krauss? - No. Shut up. 190 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,934 Have you seen Cyril? - What? Why would I have? 191 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,770 And what the hell is he doing? - Hey! 192 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,272 What'd I tell you, huh? Huh? - OW! Uhn! 193 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,274 There! Go buy a nicotine patch! 194 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,818 [DISHES CRASHING] 195 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,445 [CLEARS THROAT] 196 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,740 Gentlemen. - No, no, no, what happened to discretion? 197 00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:36,077 What happened to that bartender? - Right? Guy sees an empty glass... 198 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,246 ...and all of a sudden he's Judge Crater. - Oh, for God's sake! 199 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,123 Nigel, some chips for mister...? 200 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,793 Archer. Ha. Sterling Archer. 201 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,670 The minimum bet is ten thousand, sir. Dollars. 202 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,924 I stuffed all my money in that guy's mouth, because... 203 00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:53,385 Well, perhaps we could play for something much more interesting. 204 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,847 Yeah, because that was seriously, like, all the cash I had on me, so. 205 00:09:57,014 --> 00:10:01,519 So if I win, I spend a night of passion with your exquisite wife. 206 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:05,397 My wi...? Oh, yes, my wife, of course. - Oh! 207 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:08,192 Yeah, that's a deal! But if I win... 208 00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:11,987 ...you tell me where the bomb... What? - Baccarat! Mr. Singh wins. 209 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:15,282 Wait, wait, wait, we were going? - The von Zeppelin suite. 210 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,327 I shall expect her within the hour. 211 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:21,205 She's not gonna be happy about that. Um... 212 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:23,207 What, are you mostly paid in tips? 213 00:10:23,374 --> 00:10:26,001 Almost entirely, sir. - Heh. 214 00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:28,963 Ahem. Mm-hm. 215 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,006 Well, whose fault is that? 216 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,217 Prancing around in your Fiacci knockoffs... 217 00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,970 ...blathering about your vulva. - Hey, first of all... 218 00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:39,890 I'm just saying! You're driving Cyril straight toward another woman. 219 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,393 Cyril? With another woman? 220 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,979 Malory, seriously. Look at me. 221 00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:47,231 Look at me! Look at and choke me! 222 00:10:47,398 --> 00:10:48,399 [CYRIL GROANING] 223 00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:51,443 Oh, yes, yes! Oh, my God! - Oh, my God, what am I doing? 224 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,988 Ruining your life, you idiot. - Ha-ha-ha. 225 00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:56,740 And making it hard to drop a deuce. 226 00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,619 Uh... I'm sorry, what? - You. Now. Led Zeppelin suite. 227 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,538 You have no proof Singh's the bomber. 228 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,165 He hinted... - That's profiling. 229 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,458 ...that the proof was in his cabin! - Really? 230 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,752 Yes! So go down there and find it... 231 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:12,882 ...while I go find the bomb. - Ugh. Bombs, bombers, vulvas. 232 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,384 You people are just ruining my trip. - ARCHER & LANA: Uh... 233 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,386 Well, don't stand here gaping at me! 234 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,889 Go thwart something! 235 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,228 No running! - Zip it, Zipperface! 236 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:30,774 Oh. Kidding, sorry. Hey, have you seen that nerdy fruit-basket steward? 237 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,860 Check the Kaiser Wilhelm suite. 238 00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:36,113 You really need new names on... Hey, what were you doing in there? 239 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,616 Things for authorized personnel only! 240 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,035 So don't go in there. It's verboten! 241 00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:44,371 Ah. Okay. Probably merits a follow-up. 242 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,058 CYRIL: Archer? - Cyril? What're you...? 243 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,876 Archer, I need your help! I think I'm losing it here, man! 244 00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:52,379 What gave it away, my mother's...? Why are you wearing my mother's robe? 245 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,632 I can explain. - I don't think I want you to. 246 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,219 See, it all started when you and Lana... - Cyril! You should tell her this. 247 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:02,139 I tried! But you were naked and it was all vulva this, and vulva that. 248 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:07,144 Yeah, and as you're standing here, dick and or balls caressed by my mother's robe, ugh... 249 00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,813 ...Lana is waiting for you. - Really? Where? 250 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,149 The Led Zeppelin suite. 251 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:16,028 There's a von Zeppelin suite. - Which I'm sure is what I meant. So, go! 252 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:19,073 Thanks, Archer! You're the best! - I know. 253 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,784 [LAUGHS] 254 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:25,663 So yes, the bottom line is that I was unfaithful to you. 255 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,750 Two... Well, three times, I guess, if a dry-humpy choker counts. 256 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,711 And if you can't see it in your heart to forgive me... 257 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,798 ...I will forgive you. Because that's what love is, Lana. 258 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,341 It's forgivey. 259 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,844 Which is not a word. Come on, Figgis! All right, here we go. 260 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:43,889 [CYRIL GASPS] 261 00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:46,016 Oh, why? - Hello! 262 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,396 So, that's your idea of a break, huh? - Cyril! It's not what it looks like! 263 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,023 Well, then, what is it? 264 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:57,444 PAM: Okay, so Cyril got in over his head. - Jesus, God, did he kill her? 265 00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,698 No, no, no, he ran from her! To go confess to Lana... 266 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,368 ...but so then this one starts freaking out, and long story short... 267 00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,329 ...I kind of had to drown her in the tub. - So you killed her? 268 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,706 [COUGHING] 269 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,375 Apparently not, so... 270 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:13,210 ...good news. - LANA: Shut up, Pam. 271 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,838 Did Cyril run by here crying in a woman's bathrobe? 272 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:19,216 Well, it wouldn't surprise me. You're driving him stark raving mad. 273 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,468 What'd I do? - What'd you do? 274 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,887 Running around all up and down this stupid blimp. 275 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,724 Against the rules. - Half-naked, tits bouncing around... 276 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,185 ...like you're at a rodeo, then going back to some billionaire's suite? 277 00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:36,233 I was trying to stop a bomb plot. - Oh, my God, there is no bomb! 278 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,069 More good news. - And just how do you know that? 279 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,529 Ugh. 280 00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,324 Because I made the bomb threat! 281 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,036 Trudy Beekman booked the very last ticket on this flight, so it was all: 282 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,705 "Meh, meh, meh. I'm Trudy Beekman. 283 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:54,752 I'm on the co-op board and I'm going on a blimp! Meh!" 284 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:59,089 So, yes, I made a phony bomb threat. - Good for you. 285 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,008 And yet you lecture me. Lovely. 286 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,217 [LINE RINGS] 287 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:05,104 ARCHER [OVER PHONE]: Hello? - So, what would you say if I told you... 288 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,097 ...that your mother made a phony bomb threat... 289 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,851 ...just to get a free ride on a blimp? - I'd say that's fairly classic her. 290 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145 Oh, shut up. - And then I'd just sort of laugh... 291 00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:16,190 ...at the, uh... The whatchamacallit. 292 00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:17,441 [BEEPING] 293 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:18,984 Irony. 294 00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:22,780 [BEEPING] 295 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,657 LANA: There's actually a bomb on board? Archer? 296 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,578 Archer? Oh, what the hell? Where the **** are you going? 297 00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,123 Gotta get my turtleneck. I'm not defusing a bomb in this! 298 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,625 No running! - ARCHER: Shut up! 299 00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:37,836 Oh, and Lana, maybe you ought to grab the Kraut. He's the bomber. 300 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,797 [SPEAKS IN GERMAN] 301 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,257 KRAUSS: What is this? - LANA: You know what it is, Fritz! 302 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,094 So shut your schnitzel-hole and disarm it. - Oh. 303 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,472 I get it. The German guy mit a scar... 304 00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:52,309 ...must be the bad guy. Well, you know how I got this scar? 305 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:55,312 Saving a Jewish girl from a gang of skinheads. 306 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:59,608 Oh, Jesus. - Yeah! And so Krauss gets a curb party. 307 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:02,069 Wow. Now I feel like an asshole. - Your words. 308 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,154 But could you be a lamb and disarm it anyway? 309 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:05,364 Yeah, probably. 310 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:06,573 [GUNSHOT] 311 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,785 Okay, got the turtleneck and my wire cutters. Now where are we? 312 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,996 We're at you just shot the guy who could disarm the bomb, jackass! 313 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,623 What...? I didn't shoot him! 314 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,001 You think I'd bring a gun on this firetrap? - Then who did it? 315 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,796 I did! - LANA: Captain Lammers! 316 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,256 Nice read, Velma. 317 00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:25,092 "Keep your 401 K in company stock," they said. 318 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:27,344 "The price can only go up," they said! 319 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:30,347 Well, guess what! - Um, it didn't? 320 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:33,100 Who the hell wants a two-day blimp ride to London? 321 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:36,937 Which is our only route! - Okay, so it's a niche market, but... 322 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,606 Blowing it up will send the stock price down to zero. 323 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,525 Yeah, that's why I shorted it! 324 00:15:41,692 --> 00:15:43,986 But what about all the other employees? - Um... 325 00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:48,532 See? It's that kind of selfish shit... - Lana, no! You'll kill us all! 326 00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:53,036 For the last time, you idiot! It's not hydrogen... 327 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,538 ...it's helium! 328 00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,792 And what about that are you still not getting, exactly? 329 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,003 Well, obviously the core concept, Lana! 330 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:02,713 Sorry, I didn't go to Space Camp. 331 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,339 How about bomb defusal camp? 332 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,050 No, actually lacrosse camp. If that helps. 333 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219 I mean, a lot of those skills are universal. 334 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,139 Shut up. Agent Gillette, please. - Oh, great. 335 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,892 Come on people, talk to me! 336 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,186 What are we thinking? What are we doing? 337 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,606 What are we wearing? - My crisis vest. Mr. Fatface. 338 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:23,859 Lana? Hey, girl, are you there? - Yeah, I'm... Hey, can you see> me? 339 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:27,654 I see your knockoff Fiacci drawers. - Ha-ha. You are such a bitch. 340 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,198 Hey, Ray. - Ugh. 341 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,408 Let's see that ignition, girl. - LANA: You got it? 342 00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:35,037 East German crap, probably a GK-31 or 32. 343 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,415 So on the side of the timer, there should be a serial number. 344 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,667 That'll tell me which wire y'all need to cut. 345 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,586 LANA: Got it? - Yeah, I see it! Ready? 346 00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:46,089 Since first call. - Nine, three, four... 347 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,260 ...T, X, S. - T-X-X? TWO X's? 348 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,387 X-S! Like INXS! 349 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,933 N-X-X? Jesus, use the NATO phonetic alphabet! 350 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,435 The what? Duh. - LANA: Christ on sale, is it S? 351 00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,270 Sierra! Ray... 352 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:04,024 ...it's niner three four, Tango, X-ray, Sierra! 353 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,778 Thank you, doll! Now there should be a dash, followed by two letters. 354 00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:10,280 Okay. - Okay, so now I want you to cut... 355 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,699 ...the blue and white wire. 356 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,868 Which one? There's two of those. - No... 357 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,537 One's blue with a white stripe... 358 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,789 ...and the other's white with a blue stripe. 359 00:17:18,956 --> 00:17:21,458 Yeah, and both are identical! - No! They're not! 360 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,711 Ray? Hon? They're really similar. 361 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,047 One's a teeny bit... Blue, honey. 362 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,341 Which one? - I guess that one, maybe? 363 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:32,803 So wait, which one do I cut? - The teeny bit... Blue one! 364 00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,304 ARCHER: Okay! - O-K? 365 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:35,681 Wait! Stop! - What? 366 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,267 You said the letters after the dash were Oscar Kilo! 367 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,476 Who? - What? 368 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:43,146 O-K! Oscar Kilo! - No, "Okay!" Like: 369 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,482 "Okay, now I'm gonna tell you what they are!" 370 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,901 Then you didn't! - I thought we skipped that part! 371 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,654 Skipped a step in disarming a bomb? - Which I thought... 372 00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,531 ...was pretty irresponsible on your part. 373 00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:55,018 Why do you always do this? - Why do you always not shut up? 374 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,201 [STATIC SCREECHING] 375 00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:58,328 Stop. - On the radio... 376 00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,581 ...when we answer in the affirmative... 377 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,791 ...we say, "Roger." 378 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:05,919 Roger. Sorry. Ray. - Now. In the serial number... 379 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,964 ...what are the two letters following the dash? 380 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,845 You ready? - LANA: Goddamn it, Archer! 381 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,680 First letter is B. - Bravo. 382 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,307 Thanks, second letter is N. 383 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,683 M as in Mike, or N as... 384 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,144 As in Nancy! God, you of all people. - What? 385 00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:23,645 LANA: Archer! - Me of all people? 386 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:25,689 Nothing. - Ray, hon. 387 00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:27,441 Okay. - Oh, so you can say okay? 388 00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,192 Oh, my God. - Ray, can I shoot him? 389 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,527 In about five seconds, honey. 390 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:31,737 [LANA COCKS GUN] 391 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,697 ARCHER: Lana, be careful! Jesus, the helium! 392 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,408 Right after he cuts the solid green wire. 393 00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,869 The green color is solid, or...? - GILLETTE: Roger. 394 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:42,122 Oh. Roger. Cutting the green wire. 395 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,334 GILLETTE: Archer! - Jesus, God! What? 396 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,210 That's how annoying you are. 397 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,213 Your mom's annoying! How about that? - Let's go there. 398 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,882 Let's go here! Where Archer... 399 00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,051 ...shut up and cut the goddamn wire already! 400 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,219 You shut up and I'm doing it! God! 401 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,680 Oh, my... Ray! - GILLETTE: What's going on? 402 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,224 The timer sped up! - Did you cut the green one? 403 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,476 Yes! Roger! 404 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,061 Steven! Whoever! - Ray! 405 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,563 What were the last two letters? - ARCHER: B. 406 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,607 As in butt hole. - What do we do here? 407 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,859 And M! As in Mancy! 408 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,235 What? 409 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:13,904 [CLEARS THROAT] 410 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:17,741 M as in what? - Mancy! What'd you think I said? 411 00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:19,743 Nancy! You idiot! - ARCHER: Oh, yeah. 412 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:22,621 I can see how... Then I was like "You of all... " 413 00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:24,164 [GUNSHOT THEN ARCHER SCREAMING] 414 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,041 [TIMER CONTINUES BEEPING] 415 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,918 Exact! Same! Spot! - Ray? 416 00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,336 Ray? Tell me what to do! 417 00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:32,255 So do you all have parachutes? 418 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,425 LANA: No! - That would be, you know, problem solved. 419 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,260 Ray! - I don't know. 420 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,262 Push it off with your big-ass hands. 421 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,639 [GRUNTING] 422 00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,225 GILLETTE: Good luck, honey. - It's too heavy! 423 00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,769 Archer? - Aah! Aah! Aah! 424 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,731 I cannot do this alone! - You're not alone! 425 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,192 Baby! You came back to me! 426 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,779 Well, I really... Lana, there's a lot you and I need to talk about. 427 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,906 And let's do that. Right after we shove... 428 00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:01,410 ...this huge bomb off the blimp! - Okay, but then we seriously need to... 429 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,662 Cyril! - Sorry, here we go. 430 00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,622 [BOTH GRUNTING] 431 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:09,418 CYRIL: Lana! We're not gonna make it! - Yes, we are, Cyril! 432 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,753 We are gonna make it. 433 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,216 Ha. Oh, my God! Lana, we made it! - Oh. 434 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,552 Hooray for metaphors. 435 00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:20,929 I told you. Ha-ha. 436 00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,973 Okay, now then. 437 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,058 What did you want to talk about? - Um... 438 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,894 Well, uh, a lot of stuff, really. 439 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,312 [EXPLOSION] 440 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,606 Starting with the fact we just bombed Ireland. 441 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,735 Um... Pretty sure that's Wales. 442 00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:10,604 [English - US - PSDH] 443 00:21:10,654 --> 00:21:15,204 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36547

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