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1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,307
How was that?
2
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:09,308
Very convincing.
3
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:10,777
Now me.
4
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,615
- Maybe you're the stoic one.
- Mm.
5
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,716
Today's a wonderful day.
6
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:18,850
Our husbands are finally dead.
7
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:19,885
Well, they're not dead.
8
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,019
We just paid them to disappear
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,120
so that we could
pursue higher-born,
10
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,489
more upwardly mobile husbands
11
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,523
that are more like our...
12
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,891
- Equals.
- Brothers.
13
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,159
Usually it takes seven years
14
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,660
for the missing
to be declared dead,
15
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,261
but Daddy pulled some strings.
16
00:00:31,037 --> 00:00:34,407
_
17
00:00:34,442 --> 00:00:37,302
More calling cards,
all sending their condolences.
18
00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:41,840
Oil baron, robber baron,
19
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,341
rubber baron,
20
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,509
bacon baron.
21
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:45,810
So many barons.
22
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:47,144
I mean, Jesus,
23
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,813
is there any downside
to dead husbands?
24
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,147
I wish they were dead
when we married them.
25
00:00:50,149 --> 00:00:52,350
It's so sad.
26
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:57,689
Cutie, Daddy's dead.
27
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:03,827
♪ I want the
money, I want the fame ♪
28
00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:06,363
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
29
00:01:06,365 --> 00:01:08,632
♪ this is mine,
I got to get it ♪
30
00:01:08,634 --> 00:01:11,268
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
31
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:13,170
♪ Another Period ♪
32
00:01:13,171 --> 00:01:14,803
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
33
00:01:21,245 --> 00:01:23,447
Mitchell P. Spiritwalker,
34
00:01:23,449 --> 00:01:25,515
the whole family has
traveled a great distance
35
00:01:25,517 --> 00:01:27,417
through many storms
and with much difficulty
36
00:01:27,419 --> 00:01:30,186
to see you again,
younger brother.
37
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:34,757
On behalf of all of us,
I say hello.
38
00:01:34,759 --> 00:01:36,960
Wrong door.
39
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,405
_
40
00:01:42,499 --> 00:01:44,067
Ashinabee Langundo.
41
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:45,401
Ashinabee Mitch...
42
00:01:45,403 --> 00:01:47,536
or Peepers, as your new tribe
calls you.
43
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:48,671
Why have you come?
44
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,507
The Bellacourts do not know
of my heritage,
45
00:01:51,509 --> 00:01:53,576
and I wish to keep it that way.
46
00:01:53,578 --> 00:01:55,711
Our father has died.
47
00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,145
Ooh.
48
00:01:57,147 --> 00:01:58,914
We have come to conduct
a condolence ceremony.
49
00:01:58,916 --> 00:02:02,184
Oldest and youngest brother
united in mourning.
50
00:02:02,186 --> 00:02:03,552
We must do it today.
51
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:06,522
Langundo, I don't have time
for this today.
52
00:02:06,524 --> 00:02:08,890
I have an escargot-spoon
situation that--
53
00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:12,227
Mitch, if we do not complete
this ceremony by sundown,
54
00:02:12,229 --> 00:02:14,162
Father's soul will be trapped
between two worlds,
55
00:02:14,164 --> 00:02:16,098
never to find peace.
56
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,700
And your aunt needs
to use the restroom.
57
00:02:23,739 --> 00:02:26,507
Yes, I was raised as an Indian.
58
00:02:26,509 --> 00:02:29,543
My parents were white alcoholics
who abandoned me
59
00:02:29,545 --> 00:02:32,013
during the Gold Rush
on the way to California.
60
00:02:32,015 --> 00:02:35,082
A tribe took me in
and raised me as their own.
61
00:02:35,084 --> 00:02:36,550
But during my vision quest,
62
00:02:36,552 --> 00:02:39,553
I saw an image
of a white butler,
63
00:02:39,555 --> 00:02:43,590
and I knew then
that I had found my path.
64
00:02:48,496 --> 00:02:50,364
Can't you make
my neckline lower?
65
00:02:50,366 --> 00:02:52,499
My husband's dead,
not my teats.
66
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:53,767
Madams...
67
00:02:53,769 --> 00:02:55,536
Forgive me, but I must ask
68
00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:57,204
the most difficult question
69
00:02:57,206 --> 00:03:00,140
of my entire
25 years of service.
70
00:03:00,142 --> 00:03:02,075
May I have the afternoon off?
71
00:03:02,077 --> 00:03:03,609
It is an emergency.
72
00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:04,510
No.
73
00:03:04,512 --> 00:03:05,778
It would only be
for a few hours,
74
00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:07,280
and I won't leave the premises.
75
00:03:07,282 --> 00:03:10,416
- No.
- I hate to ask, but...
76
00:03:10,418 --> 00:03:13,119
my father died,
and we're holding a funeral.
77
00:03:13,121 --> 00:03:14,354
Wait.
You have a father?
78
00:03:14,356 --> 00:03:17,557
Yes, Lady Beatrice.
79
00:03:17,559 --> 00:03:19,124
Do you know
how you have relatives?
80
00:03:19,126 --> 00:03:20,493
Mm-hmm.
81
00:03:20,495 --> 00:03:22,228
I, too, have relatives.
82
00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:23,463
Oh.
83
00:03:23,465 --> 00:03:25,231
Does that mean
cows have funerals?
84
00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:26,766
No, only people.
85
00:03:26,768 --> 00:03:27,867
And servants?
86
00:03:27,869 --> 00:03:29,736
Yes, also servants.
87
00:03:29,738 --> 00:03:31,971
Lady, I hate
to press the issue,
88
00:03:31,973 --> 00:03:33,438
but we must hold the funeral,
89
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,507
or his soul cannot
ascend to Heaven.
90
00:03:35,509 --> 00:03:36,742
You can't have your funeral
91
00:03:36,744 --> 00:03:38,244
the same day we're
having our funeral.
92
00:03:38,246 --> 00:03:39,345
Today is the day I'm gonna meet
93
00:03:39,347 --> 00:03:40,645
the thick-dicked man
of my dreams.
94
00:03:40,647 --> 00:03:42,982
Yeah, stop copying us, Peepers.
95
00:03:42,984 --> 00:03:45,817
I assure you,
it was unintentional.
96
00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:46,918
It's fine.
97
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,987
Go have your fun,
your little funeral.
98
00:03:48,989 --> 00:03:52,491
But don't let it
interfere with your duties.
99
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,659
Thank you, ma'am.
100
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:57,328
♪ I just want the money, money
I just want the money ♪
101
00:03:57,330 --> 00:04:00,298
Aha, this is our
moment we've been waiting for.
102
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,234
Oh, we can do anything we want.
103
00:04:03,236 --> 00:04:04,535
What do you want to do first?
104
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:05,970
Uh, oh, we could eat something.
105
00:04:05,972 --> 00:04:08,439
- Are you hungry?
- I could eat if you could.
106
00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:10,008
What do you want to eat?
107
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,109
I don't know.
108
00:04:11,111 --> 00:04:13,844
Quail, rabbit?
109
00:04:13,846 --> 00:04:14,879
Nah.
110
00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,081
How about mincemeat pie?
111
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,616
Well, we're not destitute.
112
00:04:18,618 --> 00:04:21,051
I mean...
mincemeat pie?
113
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:22,520
I could do Bananas Foster.
114
00:04:22,522 --> 00:04:24,789
Well, that's a dessert.
I'm not gonna--
115
00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:27,257
- Well, what do you want to eat?
- I can eat anything.
116
00:04:27,259 --> 00:04:28,859
You cannot eat anything,
117
00:04:28,861 --> 00:04:32,530
or you wouldn't have dismissed
every idea I gave you.
118
00:04:32,532 --> 00:04:34,698
Well, I'm not saying
that your ideas are bad,
119
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,366
but maybe you could
choose something
120
00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:37,834
that's a little more
appropriate.
121
00:04:37,836 --> 00:04:39,669
Why don't you just cool down?
122
00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:42,705
And I'll start cooking something
that I hope you'll like.
123
00:04:42,707 --> 00:04:45,242
All right, just make sure
it's not grouse.
124
00:04:52,651 --> 00:04:55,318
Langundo, you'll have to
remind me of the ceremony.
125
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,687
Of course you don't remember
now that you are a big shot
126
00:04:57,689 --> 00:04:59,055
with a door that locks.
127
00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:00,189
Only from the outside.
128
00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:01,324
Brother Mitchell,
129
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:03,192
can I try on
your tuxedo jacket?
130
00:05:03,194 --> 00:05:04,627
No, Little One.
131
00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:06,496
You know, many people find it
very offensive
132
00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:08,465
when you adopt the garb
of another culture.
133
00:05:08,467 --> 00:05:12,101
No, this is not a costume.
It is a way of life.
134
00:05:13,571 --> 00:05:15,071
We should get started
if we are going to finish
135
00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:17,340
the six-hour fire ceremony
before sundown.
136
00:05:17,342 --> 00:05:18,474
Do you think we could
compress it
137
00:05:18,476 --> 00:05:20,009
down to about 15 minutes?
138
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:24,947
There is a lot of unnecessary
fire in that ceremony.
139
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,085
Haaa!
140
00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,855
Oh, my darling.
141
00:05:32,857 --> 00:05:35,323
I'm so sorry to hear
about poor Albert.
142
00:05:35,325 --> 00:05:36,324
How are you holding up?
143
00:05:36,326 --> 00:05:37,693
- I'm sad.
- Yeah.
144
00:05:37,695 --> 00:05:39,962
Now rip off my morning dress
and make love to me.
145
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,797
It's what Albert
would have wanted.
146
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:45,333
Nothing would make me happier
than falling face-first
147
00:05:45,335 --> 00:05:48,169
into your mossy treasure,
but...
148
00:05:48,171 --> 00:05:50,238
what if Albert's a ghost?
149
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,839
What if he's watching us?
150
00:05:51,841 --> 00:05:54,142
No, silly, Albert's alive.
151
00:05:54,144 --> 00:05:55,676
He's in a secret cabin
152
00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:57,379
surrounded
by a beautiful garden,
153
00:05:57,381 --> 00:05:58,746
living with Victor.
154
00:05:58,748 --> 00:06:00,982
He's in a better place.
155
00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:02,550
Poor simple Beatrice.
156
00:06:02,552 --> 00:06:04,051
Of course he's alive,
157
00:06:04,053 --> 00:06:05,853
enjoying the company
of male friends.
158
00:06:05,855 --> 00:06:07,287
Of course.
159
00:06:07,289 --> 00:06:09,456
Of course.
160
00:06:25,641 --> 00:06:28,308
Oh, Chair.
161
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:29,609
Oh, are you busy?
162
00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,545
Just working
17 to 22 hours a day.
163
00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:32,946
I'll take that
as a "no."
164
00:06:32,948 --> 00:06:35,515
Would you be a dear
and put the children to bed?
165
00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,250
Oh, and would you mind
telling them
166
00:06:37,252 --> 00:06:38,351
that their fathers are dead?
167
00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:40,520
- Me?
- Is that a problem?
168
00:06:40,522 --> 00:06:41,922
- I--
- Uh-uh-uh, Chair.
169
00:06:41,924 --> 00:06:44,658
Don't make me rename you
Water Closet.
170
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:49,228
Love you.
171
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:57,520
_
172
00:07:04,164 --> 00:07:05,798
Everyone's coming
to my funeral.
173
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,668
The press is coming,
eligible men are coming--
174
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:12,204
all the more reason to make this
the party of the century.
175
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,208
Thank you for coming.
176
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:18,677
Very cute.
177
00:07:23,383 --> 00:07:25,317
Could you be
any more tasteless?
178
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,785
Ooh, been watching you
devour the buffet.
179
00:07:26,787 --> 00:07:28,353
You might want to
taste less yourself.
180
00:07:28,355 --> 00:07:29,788
Your husband has been dead
for three days.
181
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:32,090
You should be asha--
Oh, my God!
182
00:07:32,092 --> 00:07:33,792
Is that Mark Twain?
183
00:07:33,794 --> 00:07:36,027
Oh, he's a river boat baron,
I believe.
184
00:07:36,029 --> 00:07:38,630
He's the greatest writer
of our time, you imbecile.
185
00:07:39,933 --> 00:07:41,366
Old Man River.
186
00:07:41,368 --> 00:07:43,634
And that's why I don't read.
187
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:48,739
Mr. Twain,
it's an honor.
188
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:50,041
I love your work.
189
00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:52,376
Ah, well, thank you,
huge woman.
190
00:07:52,378 --> 00:07:53,878
I'm Hortense.
191
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,646
Yeah, that feels right.
192
00:07:55,648 --> 00:07:58,783
Now, what does a man
have to do around here
193
00:07:58,785 --> 00:08:00,384
to get a drink?
194
00:08:00,386 --> 00:08:04,355
I'm sweating as much
as a frog on jumping day
195
00:08:04,357 --> 00:08:06,557
trying to outleap a cat.
196
00:08:09,093 --> 00:08:10,561
I'm sorry.
197
00:08:10,563 --> 00:08:13,531
Albert, I'm sorry.
198
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,065
Oh!
199
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,900
You scared me half to death.
200
00:08:16,902 --> 00:08:18,168
Oh, I'm sorry.
201
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,770
No, he's watching.
202
00:08:20,772 --> 00:08:22,339
I know it.
203
00:08:25,609 --> 00:08:28,411
Look what you did, Albert!
I hate you!
204
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:33,916
- My doll!
- My doll!
205
00:08:35,454 --> 00:08:36,586
Children...
206
00:08:36,588 --> 00:08:38,154
- My doll!
- This is my doll!
207
00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:39,389
Please stop.
208
00:08:39,391 --> 00:08:41,424
Hey, lady, fetch.
209
00:08:43,495 --> 00:08:45,194
First of all, I'm the one
210
00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:47,831
who has to break the news to
Lillian and Beatrice's children?
211
00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:51,067
And second of all,
they have children?
212
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:53,236
My name is Chair.
213
00:08:53,238 --> 00:08:55,304
- What's yours?
- I'm Susan.
214
00:08:55,306 --> 00:08:56,839
I'm also Susan.
215
00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:57,840
What's a name?
216
00:08:57,842 --> 00:09:00,142
My mom calls me
The Little Asshole.
217
00:09:10,821 --> 00:09:12,388
The life-or-death bell.
218
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:14,189
I'm sorry.
I must take this.
219
00:09:14,191 --> 00:09:16,592
I'm sure we can recover
his spirit on your schedule.
220
00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:17,793
Don't worry about us.
221
00:09:17,795 --> 00:09:18,894
Great.
222
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,601
Mr. Hal Carnegie.
223
00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:28,536
I'm Lillian,
rhymes with "billion,"
224
00:09:28,538 --> 00:09:30,872
as in the amount
of dollars you have.
225
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,707
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.
226
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,542
Oh, speaking of
"short, no tits,"
227
00:09:34,544 --> 00:09:36,144
look what we have here.
228
00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:38,780
I see it's true what they say
229
00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:40,615
about your wit
and sharp tongue.
230
00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:42,550
I am just trying
to lighten the mood.
231
00:09:42,552 --> 00:09:44,218
Sorry to be so crass.
232
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:45,887
Oh, that's all right.
233
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,188
I literally have no
behavioral standards at all.
234
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:49,390
Well, then you won't mind
235
00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:50,591
if we do a little
heavy flirting
236
00:09:50,593 --> 00:09:52,192
here at your husband's funeral.
237
00:09:52,194 --> 00:09:53,594
Not at all.
238
00:09:53,596 --> 00:09:55,129
Oh, and just so you know,
I do have eight children,
239
00:09:55,131 --> 00:09:57,597
but they've all been
ripped from my stomach, so...
240
00:09:57,599 --> 00:09:59,433
tight as a Jew's wallet
down there.
241
00:09:59,435 --> 00:10:01,701
Mm, I wouldn't mind
making a deposit.
242
00:10:01,703 --> 00:10:02,702
Ooh.
243
00:10:02,704 --> 00:10:04,538
Madam, you rang
the life-or-death bell.
244
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:06,974
Oh. Oh, I thought I rang
the "more custard" bell.
245
00:10:06,976 --> 00:10:08,508
You wouldn't happen
to have more custard,
246
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:09,944
would you, Peepers?
247
00:10:09,946 --> 00:10:11,878
A good butler always
has extra custard, madam.
248
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,580
Ooh!
249
00:10:18,954 --> 00:10:22,322
Oh, well, I have to do
this little eulogy thing,
250
00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:25,091
but, uh, let's, uh,
pick up later.
251
00:10:25,093 --> 00:10:27,327
Yes, good luck.
252
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:36,035
I have some very bad news
that I must tell you.
253
00:10:36,037 --> 00:10:37,770
Your fathers are dead.
254
00:10:37,772 --> 00:10:39,738
No!
255
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:40,573
Peepers!
256
00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:42,775
I will miss him so!
257
00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:45,344
No, no, Peepers
isn't your father.
258
00:10:45,346 --> 00:10:48,013
Oh, is it Blanche, then?
259
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,949
Blanche is a woman.
260
00:10:49,951 --> 00:10:51,116
Jesus.
261
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,151
- No, she's not.
- Yes, she is.
262
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,092
Why are these children
still awake?
263
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,197
Here you go.
It's quieting syrup.
264
00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:07,499
Thank God.
Some Chinese herb?
265
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,701
No, of course not.
It's morphine.
266
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,003
Morphine?
267
00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:12,570
Just a quick announcement.
268
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,473
To the owner
of the 1901 Renault,
269
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:15,673
license plate F,
270
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,109
your headlamps are illuminated.
271
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,410
Poppycock.
272
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,279
I could give a better speech
than that.
273
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,450
Welcome, everyone,
to the funeral
274
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:29,220
of Victor Schmemmerhorn-Fish V.
275
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,922
Also featuring Albert.
276
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,824
Victor would not want
to be remembered
277
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,993
for the way that he lived,
but for the way that he died.
278
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,230
Victor's boat was on its way
279
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,564
to the Isle of Argentine,
280
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:42,533
when suddenly
it was struck by lightning,
281
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,136
torn apart by enormous,
thrashing waves.
282
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,837
Who cares?
283
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:47,704
I don't.
284
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,607
Victor's partially burned--
285
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,475
partially burned,
half-drowned body
286
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:55,478
was then feasted upon
by swarms of sharks
287
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:59,482
who devoured their prey first
by eating his face,
288
00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:02,753
and then by devouring
289
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:05,155
every one of his appendages--
290
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,957
arms, legs...
291
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:11,161
even that one.
292
00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:13,463
So, for dinner,
293
00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:16,432
you decided to make dessert.
294
00:12:16,434 --> 00:12:18,368
You didn't want grouse.
You didn't want quail.
295
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,135
You didn't want rabbit.
You didn't want mincemeat pie.
296
00:12:20,137 --> 00:12:22,638
So I made a cobbler.
But it's fine.
297
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,139
I don't know how many times
298
00:12:24,141 --> 00:12:26,375
I have to tell you
I am grouse-intolerant.
299
00:12:26,377 --> 00:12:28,177
Maybe you're just
Albert-intolerant.
300
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,147
I'm sorry you don't like
my cobbler.
301
00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:33,482
I'm sorry I'm a horrible cook.
302
00:12:33,484 --> 00:12:34,984
You're not a horrible cook.
303
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:36,585
I'm sorry I have no idea
what to do in the kitchen.
304
00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:38,553
- Don't become a victim.
- Okay, I'm not the victim.
305
00:12:38,555 --> 00:12:39,821
- Fine.
- Okay, yes.
306
00:12:39,823 --> 00:12:40,856
- I can agree too.
- I'm happy.
307
00:12:40,858 --> 00:12:42,056
I'm agreeing with you, yes.
308
00:12:42,058 --> 00:12:43,425
Whatever you say.
309
00:12:43,427 --> 00:12:44,793
I'm gonna eat,
'cause I'm actually hungry.
310
00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:45,994
Oh, would you like mine?
311
00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:47,128
You can have mine.
312
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,831
Why don't you just put on
a few more pounds?
313
00:12:57,445 --> 00:12:59,045
So, after the sharks
had their way
314
00:12:59,047 --> 00:13:00,814
with his pulpy, hollow limbs,
315
00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:03,483
Victor's carcass
made its way to the seafloor,
316
00:13:03,485 --> 00:13:06,019
only to be seized
by flesh-eating mollusks
317
00:13:06,021 --> 00:13:10,623
who devoured him and left
nothing but his saddle shoes.
318
00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:13,093
And that's how you tell
a eulogy, friends.
319
00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:15,195
And now, just as the sea
320
00:13:15,197 --> 00:13:17,663
washed the blood
out of my husband's eyeballs,
321
00:13:17,665 --> 00:13:20,065
let her wash
the tears out of yours--
322
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:23,436
Beatrice Tiffani
Amberthiessen Downsey!
323
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,310
This eulogy is for Albert.
324
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,257
Is this really happening?
325
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,602
Listen, my yacht is stocked
and headed to New Guinea.
326
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,438
We depart tonight.
327
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,205
Say you'll join me.
328
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,441
- New Guinea.
- Mm.
329
00:14:02,443 --> 00:14:05,376
- I do love cannibals.
- Mm.
330
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,528
"And then the mermaid
died a brutal, bloody death.
331
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,564
The end."
332
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,898
Can I have
some more vapor drug?
333
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,900
I think you've really
got a problem.
334
00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:34,472
There you are.
335
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,475
So this is the upstairs, huh?
336
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,909
Not too shabby.
337
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,643
I kind of want to shit
on all the pillows.
338
00:14:40,645 --> 00:14:45,548
Look, I sent for you
because I need your help.
339
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:47,184
Oh, man, I think I'm gonna
340
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,386
yank myself
into a sock right now.
341
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,221
Are you gonna help me or not?
342
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,389
I'm here, ain't I?
343
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,823
I gave these kids
quieting syrup,
344
00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:55,658
and this one won't fall asleep.
345
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:57,494
I built up my tolerance.
346
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,763
Oh, bet he doesn't have
a tolerance to this, huh?
347
00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:02,499
What is wrong with you?
348
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,033
I'm sorry.
I misread your signals.
349
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,836
I don't want him murdered.
I want him to go to sleep.
350
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:08,972
Well, then why did
you ask for me, huh?
351
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,340
- That's what I do.
- I don't know.
352
00:15:11,342 --> 00:15:12,709
I'll kill all these kids.
353
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:13,976
Wait.
Where did he go?
354
00:15:13,978 --> 00:15:16,345
Maybe he went to
Who Gives a Shit Land.
355
00:15:16,347 --> 00:15:18,180
No, where did he go?
356
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:20,449
I don't know.
357
00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:23,852
Want to fuck
on this pile of kids?
358
00:15:25,288 --> 00:15:27,056
I don't think it's
gonna happen tonight.
359
00:15:27,058 --> 00:15:30,125
I don't think it's going
to happen for me either.
360
00:15:30,127 --> 00:15:32,293
It might help if you apologize.
361
00:15:32,295 --> 00:15:33,695
Okay, fine.
362
00:15:33,697 --> 00:15:37,065
I'm sorry that you behaved
in such a way
363
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:41,436
that got me so upset
that now I'm flaccid at best.
364
00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:43,805
I can tell
that your apologizing
365
00:15:43,807 --> 00:15:45,774
is not, in fact, an apology.
366
00:15:45,776 --> 00:15:49,877
And I'll have you know
I'm flaccid too.
367
00:15:51,614 --> 00:15:53,214
I mean, maybe this
isn't working.
368
00:15:53,216 --> 00:15:55,016
I feel like ever since
we left the manor,
369
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:59,287
all the exciting parts
of our love are just gone.
370
00:15:59,289 --> 00:16:00,688
Maybe we should go home.
371
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,957
And give back the $2 million?
372
00:16:02,959 --> 00:16:07,595
What good is $2 million
if we can't pound each other?
373
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:09,530
I'll ready our luggage.
374
00:16:09,532 --> 00:16:11,699
You need to get dressed.
375
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:14,468
- I need to finish myself.
- No, just get dressed.
376
00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:16,070
Let me just do
one time through.
377
00:16:16,072 --> 00:16:17,404
- It'll take 45 minutes.
- No.
378
00:16:17,406 --> 00:16:19,139
Oh, Great Spirit,
379
00:16:19,141 --> 00:16:22,109
life fades like the sunset.
380
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:26,646
We ask that his spirit
come to you without shape.
381
00:16:41,663 --> 00:16:42,896
I have to get that.
382
00:16:42,898 --> 00:16:44,430
Are you serious?
383
00:16:44,432 --> 00:16:47,000
Look, I want our father
to join with the Great Spirit,
384
00:16:47,002 --> 00:16:48,935
but that's
the life-or-death bell, man.
385
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:51,071
There's life-or-death
going on up there!
386
00:16:51,073 --> 00:16:55,074
Plus I'm in charge
of the Jell-O.
387
00:17:09,122 --> 00:17:10,422
Madam, what was
388
00:17:10,424 --> 00:17:12,257
the life-or-death emergency
this time?
389
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:14,126
Can't you see
I'm grieving, Peepers?
390
00:17:17,898 --> 00:17:19,598
This is ridiculous.
Where is Mitch?
391
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,600
We need him here to recite
the final incantation.
392
00:17:21,602 --> 00:17:23,468
Let's go find him.
393
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:30,308
Tom Sawyer was based
on my boyhood lover.
394
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:33,445
Yep.
395
00:17:33,447 --> 00:17:34,879
Look it up.
396
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:42,687
Yes, Victor, if I remember,
397
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:44,221
it wasn't just a pork stew.
398
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,757
It was more than a pork stew.
399
00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,992
What the shit on hell
of all shits is this?
400
00:17:47,994 --> 00:17:49,894
Is this a... funeral?
401
00:17:49,896 --> 00:17:50,995
For us?
402
00:17:50,997 --> 00:17:52,596
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
403
00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:54,465
We've been gone three days!
404
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:56,233
Why is my picture
so much smaller?
405
00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:59,637
No, no, no, no, no.
I told you to stay downstairs.
406
00:17:59,639 --> 00:18:00,837
No, it can't be.
407
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:02,540
You've violated our treaty.
408
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:05,108
Ghosts, ghosts!
409
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,510
Ghosts!
410
00:18:06,512 --> 00:18:07,711
Is that my dad?
411
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,213
Ah!
412
00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:14,051
No!
413
00:18:14,053 --> 00:18:15,451
My Albert!
414
00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:17,453
No!
My party!
415
00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:19,122
No, my tomahawk!
416
00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:21,491
These people are savages.
417
00:18:26,971 --> 00:18:28,637
Oh, no, no, don't go.
418
00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:29,838
Uh, we're about to start
419
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,140
the black-person
caricature contest.
420
00:18:31,142 --> 00:18:32,808
Hey, butterscotch...
421
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:36,078
send me a telegram
when your husband really dies.
422
00:18:37,212 --> 00:18:39,648
Shh.
It's not your fault.
423
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:43,618
It was an accident.
Albert will be fine.
424
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,053
So he's not a ghost.
425
00:18:45,055 --> 00:18:46,855
No, he's alive.
426
00:18:46,857 --> 00:18:49,624
Oh, thank Heavens.
427
00:18:49,626 --> 00:18:52,928
I mean, he's unconscious
with a tomahawk in his chest,
428
00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:56,697
but he's alive.
429
00:18:56,699 --> 00:18:57,898
Do you want some milk?
430
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,101
- Yeah.
- Okay.
431
00:19:01,971 --> 00:19:03,571
There you go.
432
00:19:03,573 --> 00:19:06,507
It's gonna be fine.
433
00:19:06,509 --> 00:19:10,544
Albert, I am so sorry
that I was horrible to you.
434
00:19:12,113 --> 00:19:14,014
You were gone for three days!
435
00:19:14,016 --> 00:19:15,315
Exactly!
436
00:19:15,317 --> 00:19:17,117
And you already had
a funeral for me?
437
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,119
I gave you $2 million
to stay away.
438
00:19:19,121 --> 00:19:21,021
Can we not talk
about this right now?
439
00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:22,422
Albert has a tomahawk
in his chest!
440
00:19:22,424 --> 00:19:24,024
Sometimes I think you care
more about Albert
441
00:19:24,026 --> 00:19:25,459
than you do my remarriage.
442
00:19:25,461 --> 00:19:28,462
Oh, you're finally getting it,
are you, sister?
443
00:19:31,132 --> 00:19:32,265
Oh, my Albert.
444
00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:33,800
My Albee-Walbee.
445
00:19:33,802 --> 00:19:36,469
No one will ever replace you.
446
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:44,043
Hello, I'm Dr. Goldberg,
Albert's doctor.
447
00:19:44,045 --> 00:19:46,612
I'll be living here
while taking care of Albert.
448
00:19:46,614 --> 00:19:49,481
Hello, my name is Victor.
449
00:19:49,483 --> 00:19:53,853
And I'm incredibly
vulnerable right now.
450
00:19:53,855 --> 00:19:56,355
Let the healing begin.
451
00:19:56,357 --> 00:19:59,358
Langundo, Little One,
other people,
452
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,559
you should go.
453
00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,928
Brother Mitch,
come home with us.
454
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,296
This is my home.
455
00:20:04,298 --> 00:20:06,231
The choice is simple--
456
00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:09,668
a life of honor
among dignified people
457
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:11,337
or a life of lowly servitude
458
00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,271
in the basement
of a veritable asylum.
459
00:20:13,273 --> 00:20:14,606
But without me,
460
00:20:14,608 --> 00:20:17,508
who would express
the peacock's anal glands?
461
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,311
Who would beat the children?
462
00:20:19,313 --> 00:20:21,379
I'm a part of this family.
463
00:20:21,381 --> 00:20:23,348
No, you're not.
464
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:27,685
Garfield could be trained
to be the butler.
465
00:20:28,754 --> 00:20:30,588
It seems like they'll be fine.
466
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:32,623
I'm sorry, brother,
I cannot leave.
467
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,492
My role here
among these people--
468
00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,761
Oh, Garfield,
you're the new butler now.
469
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:44,869
White people show their love
in a different way.
470
00:20:44,871 --> 00:20:46,303
Go.
471
00:20:46,305 --> 00:20:48,239
Go with Great Spirit.
472
00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:57,612
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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