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1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:04,200
* Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played *
2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,534
* Songs that made
the hit parade *
3
00:00:07,534 --> 00:00:10,567
* Guys like us
we had it made *
4
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:13,534
* Those were the days *
5
00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:17,267
* And you knew
where you were then *
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,434
* Girls were girls
and men were men *
7
00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:25,601
* Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again *
8
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,734
* Didn't need
no welfare state *
9
00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:31,834
* Everybody pulled
his weight *
10
00:00:31,834 --> 00:00:36,133
* Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great *
11
00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:41,734
* Those were the days *
12
00:00:54,767 --> 00:01:00,367
Mmmmmm!
13
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:03,934
Isn't it fun having to eat
all the ice cream before it melts, Mom?
14
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:06,868
Yeah, this blackout
is much more delicious
15
00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:09,868
than the last one.
16
00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:13,501
Yeah, last time
all I had in my freezer was peas and fish sticks.
17
00:01:14,801 --> 00:01:16,901
Mmm!
18
00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:18,968
What flavor is that?
19
00:01:18,968 --> 00:01:21,100
Mandarin orange chocolate.
20
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,934
Oh, I didn't have
none of that!
21
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:25,567
Oh?
I'll trade you
22
00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:29,334
my Jamocha Almond Fudge.
23
00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:30,567
Okay.
24
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:31,801
Yeah!
25
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,801
Oh!
26
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:36,133
Mmm!
Mmm!
27
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:41,000
Mm-mm.
Mmm!
28
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,334
Wouldn't you know
I picked today
29
00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:45,968
to go shopping
and fill up the refrigerator.
30
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:47,200
Yeah, me too.
31
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,133
Oh, well, you don't
have to worry.
32
00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:52,033
Mike will eat up
everything before it's past.
33
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:55,634
Want some more, Ma?
34
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:59,701
Oh, no. No, I couldn't
eat another bite.
35
00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,567
Red, White,
and Blueberry.
36
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:02,667
Okay.
37
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:08,200
Mmm.
Mmm.
38
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:12,133
Mmm! Too bad daddy's not here.
This is his favorite flavor.
39
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:16,634
Yeah. Oh, I wish he wasn't
out driving the cab.
40
00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:20,734
It's so dark
in a blackout.
41
00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:26,067
I guess that's why
they call it a "blackout."
42
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,367
Well...I'm almost finished
with the corn chips.
43
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:35,100
Don't be fillin' your face
with corn chips.
44
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,334
Why not? Didn't you say
we should eat everything?
45
00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:40,634
Everything that'll melt.
46
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:43,501
Oh! Well, what the heck.
47
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:46,801
Let it melt.
If I can't eat it, I'll drink it.
48
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:50,567
Let's see what's--
Can you believe me?
49
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:53,734
Look at what I'm tryin' to do,
turn on the television set.
50
00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:55,767
I'm just like Pavlov's dog.
51
00:02:55,767 --> 00:03:00,367
Did Mr. Pavlov's dog
turn on the television?
52
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:06,234
Uh, no, Ma.
Professor Pavlov trained this dog
53
00:03:06,234 --> 00:03:09,100
to expect food
every time he rang a bell.
54
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,634
Oh, yeah!
55
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:14,367
I saw that dog
on an Alpo commercial.
56
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,234
Ma, would you pat me
on the back, please.
57
00:03:18,234 --> 00:03:19,667
Oh, sure.
58
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,667
[BURPS]
59
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,133
Gloria!
60
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:24,133
Excuse me.
61
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,167
Would you like
some chamomile tea, Ma?
62
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:29,701
Oh, yeah. That'd be nice
to wash down the ice cream.
63
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:32,634
I'll put the kettle on.
Lucky we got a gas stove.
64
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:36,334
Yes. Too bad
we don't have a gas TV.
65
00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:41,000
You can't watch television.
You can't go to the movies.
66
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,734
You can't read. What are people
supposed to do in a blackout?
67
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,767
Well, I don't know
what they're supposed to do,
68
00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:50,234
but nine months after
the 1965 blackout,
69
00:03:50,234 --> 00:03:53,367
more babies were born
in New York than ever before.
70
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:59,167
Oooh!
71
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:00,667
Oh!
72
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:03,901
Hey, Ma, when Archie gets home,
how will he know where you are?
73
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:06,534
I left a note for him
in the refrigerator
74
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:08,934
on top of his beer can.
75
00:04:08,934 --> 00:04:12,067
He's not going to be able to
read the note in the dark.
76
00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:14,400
That little refrigerator light
is not gonna go on.
77
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,534
I know. That's why
I put a candle in there.
78
00:04:22,634 --> 00:04:24,634
I got some fresh spoons.
79
00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:26,934
I'm sorry,
but we're gonna have to eat
80
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,067
Sara Lee blueberry cheesecake
before it spoils.
81
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:33,100
Oh, cheesecake's
my favorite. Beautiful.
82
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,200
Honey, are you
gonna eat that all alone?
83
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,968
No, of course not.
We'll put ice cream on it.
84
00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,834
Honey...
85
00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:40,934
[KNOCKING]
86
00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,601
Who's there?
87
00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:43,868
ARCHIE: Me!
88
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,868
- Oh...
- Me, who?
89
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:49,267
* Me and my shadow...*
90
00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:51,000
[LAUGHING]
91
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000
It's Archie.
92
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,901
- Hold on a second.
- [KNOCKING]
93
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,734
Take it easy, will ya?
What do you keep pounding on the door for?
94
00:04:56,734 --> 00:04:58,501
'Cause you're so busy
fillin' your face
95
00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:00,701
you ain't got time
to answer your own door bell!
96
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:04,300
Arch, the doorbell's
not gonna ring in a blackout.
97
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,734
Oh, jeez, that's right,
the power's off.
98
00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:10,234
Let's hear it for
Con Edison.
99
00:05:10,234 --> 00:05:11,400
[BLOWING RASPBERRIES]
100
00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:17,534
* Strollin' down the avenue...*
101
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:18,534
All right, Edith.
102
00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:19,667
* Me and my shadow...*
103
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,968
'Cause...cause
104
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:23,334
the joke is over,
my dear.
105
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
106
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,334
I'm tryin' to sit down here.
107
00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:34,234
- Sit over there.
- You sit over there.
108
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,734
- It's my chair.
- Not when I'm over here.
109
00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:38,968
I can't sit in my own chair
in my own house.
110
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:40,667
- Look, cheesecake.
- All great.
111
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:44,834
Edith, you left a lit candle
in the refrigerator.
112
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:45,834
Yeah.
113
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,434
Was that to cool down
the candle
114
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,801
or warm up the beer?
115
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,467
Oh, no.
116
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:54,267
It was so you could read
the note I left for ya.
117
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:57,067
Oh. Well, the flame
of the candle
118
00:05:57,067 --> 00:06:01,067
burnt a hole
in the carton of milk, Edith.
119
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:02,634
And you know what happened?
120
00:06:02,634 --> 00:06:05,534
The milk put out the candle.
121
00:06:05,534 --> 00:06:08,767
Yeah. And you know what
we got on the second shelf?
122
00:06:08,767 --> 00:06:11,901
A puddle in the pot roast?
123
00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:14,601
That's right. That's where
the note is floatin'.
124
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,400
Look at these two
chimpanzoos over there.
125
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,133
Do youse also pick fleas
off each other?
126
00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:29,434
Ah, jeez!
127
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:31,167
You want some
of this cheesecake?
128
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:34,501
Cheesecake is fattening.
Give me a beer, huh?
129
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,634
- Right away.
- Not you, Edith.
130
00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:38,634
This guy's the host.
131
00:06:38,634 --> 00:06:40,501
That's all right, Mike,
I'll get it.
132
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,501
Thanks, Ma.
133
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:42,968
Aaah!
134
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:45,267
If this blackout
lasts any longer,
135
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:48,501
I'm gonna have
a fatal fat attack.
136
00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:51,033
And I thought
the last blackout was bad
137
00:06:51,033 --> 00:06:53,734
when I had to eat
all those fish sticks.
138
00:06:53,734 --> 00:06:55,267
The last blackout
was plenty bad.
139
00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:56,901
Don't you remember
what they did?
140
00:06:56,901 --> 00:06:58,801
They was rioting,
burning, looting.
141
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:00,667
They was runnin' wild
in the streets.
142
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,000
"They, they, they!"
143
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,200
Who's all this "they"
you're talkin' about?
144
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,133
"They" is them
that can't be seen
145
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,634
whilst the blackout is on.
146
00:07:10,934 --> 00:07:12,000
Here's your beer.
147
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,033
Oh!!!
148
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,567
Edith!
149
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,300
How could you do
a thing like that?
150
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:18,534
It's not her fault, Arch.
151
00:07:18,534 --> 00:07:20,501
I guess you're just
one of those people
152
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:22,501
who can't be seen
whilst the blackout is on.
153
00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,167
Ah, shut up, you!
154
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:27,267
You're not dryin' me off,
you're just pattin' it in.
155
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:30,901
Now you're groping me.
Get outta here!
156
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:33,767
Oh, Ma, this blackout's
lasting so long
157
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:36,300
I'm afraid everything
in the freezer's going to spoil.
158
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:39,467
- We better start cookin'.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
159
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:40,467
[BURPS]
160
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:41,701
Oh, Gloria.
161
00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:44,534
Where does she get
them habits, huh?
162
00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:46,267
[BURPS]
From you.
163
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:53,534
Don't be givin' me
this here!
164
00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:56,868
Turn on the radio
so I can look at that and not you.
165
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,200
I don't have
a portable.
166
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,467
In this day and age,
a guy without a portable.
167
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,501
Go down to the drugstore
tomorrow there
168
00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:06,968
and buy yourself one of them
battery transvester radios there...
169
00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,701
if they didn't
rip them all off.
170
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:11,234
"They."
Don't keep saying "they."
171
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:14,033
If you're talking about
the underprivileged minorities,
172
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:15,400
it's not their fault.
173
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,968
They do it for environmental
and socioeconomic reasons.
174
00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:20,167
How come you
always use big words
175
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,868
so as not to show
your ignorance?
176
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:25,000
Arch! Poor people steal.
177
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,100
Hungry people steal.
178
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:29,634
Oh, yeah? That's why
in that July blackout
179
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,467
they drove 50 cars
out of the showrooms
180
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:36,534
on account of they
had a cravin' to eat a Pontiac.
181
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:37,834
Yes, they have a craving
182
00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:40,501
because the media advertisers
create that craving.
183
00:08:40,501 --> 00:08:42,434
They tell the people
what they should want
184
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,901
and tell them they're nothing
unless they run out and get it.
185
00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:46,834
What the hell are they
supposed to do?
186
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,634
Supposed to go out
and work for a buck.
187
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:49,868
Work? Where is the work?
188
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:51,767
Ah, cut that stuff out!
189
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:53,501
In this country
if anybody wants to do
190
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,367
an honest day's work,
he can do it.
191
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,334
Look at me.
I'm holding down two jobs.
192
00:08:57,334 --> 00:09:01,133
I run my own saloon. I still
drive three cab shifts a week.
193
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:05,100
I just come off of one.
Hey, the last hour I made a hundred dollars.
194
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,267
How'd you do that?
195
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:08,701
One trip from
Kennedy Airport into the city.
196
00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,267
That's 20 bucks tops.
197
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:14,033
When you squeeze five persons
into your cab,
198
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:17,400
charge them $20 a head--
work it out, professor.
199
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,534
How did you get five people
to give you 20 bucks a piece?
200
00:09:20,534 --> 00:09:23,601
Easy. I scared the hell
out of them.
201
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:26,567
Told them they were
gonna get mugged in the blackout.
202
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,133
That's illegal.
That--that's looting!
203
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,801
I couldn't help myself.
I was hungry.
204
00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:36,567
I had a craving for
one of my socioecological environmentalality!
205
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:44,300
Boy, you have some nerve
complaining about what they did.
206
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:48,100
"They?" Who's "they,"
we're talking about?
207
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,267
Arch, you
took advantage of people in a desperate situation!
208
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:52,467
You talk about looting!
209
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,968
If that's not the pot
calling the kettle black!
210
00:09:54,968 --> 00:09:56,968
Hold it!
Don't put no words into my mouth.
211
00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:59,734
I never mentioned the word
"black" there.
212
00:09:59,734 --> 00:10:02,133
Them looters was
all colors and shades--
213
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:03,934
everything but white.
214
00:10:03,934 --> 00:10:06,033
Don't you see, Arch,
it's the system.
215
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:08,501
It's the quest
for the American dream...
216
00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:10,901
If you wanna come out
with that radical hoo-ha
217
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,400
don't give it to me!
218
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,267
Write a letter to the papers.
219
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,067
Write a letter to
the editor there.
220
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:18,200
In the meantime,
get the hell outta here.
221
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,834
It's my house.
222
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,701
I didn't mean outta the house,
I meant outta the country.
223
00:10:22,701 --> 00:10:24,534
I'm goin' here.
224
00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:26,467
If you wanna talk
that Russian talk,
225
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:29,033
take yourself back over
to the USSO.
226
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:33,267
And if they won't
leave you in there, try Jersey.
227
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:34,901
They'll take anybody.
228
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,167
[DOOR SLAMS]
229
00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:42,000
[***]
230
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,934
* You make me happy
when skies are gray *
231
00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:49,868
[CHATTERING]
232
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,834
Well, there's one thing
I love about a blackout...
233
00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,033
What's that, Hank?
234
00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:57,634
My wife can't find me.
235
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:04,868
I tell you one thing,
236
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:07,033
if the lights don't come on
by the time we close,
237
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,467
I'm goin' over to
Barney Hefner's house and borrow your shotgun
238
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:11,934
and stand guard here,
and you better stand guard with me.
239
00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:16,033
- What am I gonna use?
- We'll find you a snow shovel or something.
240
00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:17,567
What a town.
241
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,133
Yeah, it stinks.
242
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,300
And it's gettin' stinkier
all the time.
243
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,501
The cops can't
do nothin' about it.
244
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:26,133
In the last blackout
they couldn't arrest no more.
245
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,000
There was no more room
in the jail.
246
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,501
Some day I'm gonna
move to California.
247
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:32,467
Be sure and do it
on your day off.
248
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,067
California's got
everything, Arch.
249
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,968
It certainly has--
beautiful weather,
250
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:41,801
swimming pools,
the death penalty...
251
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,200
We oughta bring it back here.
252
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,367
Ah, the death penalty
wouldn't do us no good in New York.
253
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,534
Why not?
254
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,467
They'd put a killer
in the electric chair,
255
00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:53,467
Con Edison would fail us again.
256
00:11:56,601 --> 00:11:58,901
They'd have to keep the guy
strapped in the chair
257
00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:00,734
till he starved to death.
258
00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:04,167
[CHEERING]
259
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:06,367
- I'd better get goin'.
- What's your rush?
260
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:10,334
Now with the lights on,
my wife'll know I'm gone.
261
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,634
- So long.
- So long, Hank.
262
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,167
Hey, Arch!
263
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,901
Hiya there.
Hi, hi, hi.
264
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:20,834
How are ya?
I, uh, I don't seem to recollect the face.
265
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:23,200
Gordy Lloyd
from Regal Park.
266
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,634
Gordy Lloyd
from Regal Park.
267
00:12:25,634 --> 00:12:28,734
I still don't remember.
268
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:31,334
I used to work with you
five years ago on the loading dock
269
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,167
when I was haulin'
for Finnegan's Fast Freight.
270
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:35,167
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
I remember.
271
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:36,901
Sure. How the hell are ya?
272
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:37,968
I'm fine.
273
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,968
Since that time,
I got my own business.
274
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,968
I can see that.
Listen, Arch,
275
00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:44,200
I always knew you were
gonna make it big.
276
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,934
Hey! That's nice
of you there.
277
00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:48,400
I'd like you to meet
a friend of mine from around here.
278
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,901
Hey, Mitch,
come on over here.
279
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:51,667
Mitch Turner,
Arch Bunker.
280
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:54,501
Hi, pleased to meet you.
How're you doin'?
281
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:57,634
Pretty good.
It's a pleasure to meet a guy who talks sense.
282
00:12:57,634 --> 00:12:59,667
Oh. Who's that?
283
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,300
You. We were listening to ya.
284
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,033
Well, a lot of people
listen to me.
285
00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:08,234
Mostly them who
got no choice.
286
00:13:09,634 --> 00:13:11,801
Pick up glasses, Harry, huh?
287
00:13:11,801 --> 00:13:14,133
Yes-a boss!
288
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,901
A lot of people
around here
289
00:13:15,901 --> 00:13:18,167
are worried about
the same things you are.
290
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:20,000
ARCHIE: Oh, yeah?
Like what?
291
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,067
Like riotin', lootin',
burnin'.
292
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,868
Now we intend to see
that nothin' like that happens in this neighborhood.
293
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:27,968
MITCH: That's why
we started this organization:
294
00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,601
"The Kweens Kouncil
of Krusaders."
295
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:35,000
Oh, the Crusaders.
What do you do, bowl?
296
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,734
No, Arch.
We don't have time for that.
297
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,367
We're a civic organization.
298
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:39,901
We're getting a lot of support,
299
00:13:39,901 --> 00:13:42,234
especially from
small businessmen, little guys,
300
00:13:42,234 --> 00:13:45,300
- trying to protect
their interest. - Oh...
301
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,434
We are dedicated to
law and order.
302
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:50,300
What the cops can't handle,
we do.
303
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:54,234
Hey, Arch, how'd you like to
come to our next meeting?
304
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,634
Uh, meetin'?
305
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,734
Uh, well, I'll tell ya
there, Georgy--
306
00:13:58,734 --> 00:14:00,434
- Gordon.
- Whatever.
307
00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:05,234
You know the kind of guy I am--
what you'd call a jerk.
308
00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:06,801
No, we ain't asking you to join.
309
00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:08,667
This is just
a little get-together.
310
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,567
It takes a while to--to join.
311
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,334
You gotta be investigated.
312
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:14,601
Yeah, Arch, not everybody
that can get in...
313
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,734
only certain, special people.
314
00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:17,868
Oh, yeah?
315
00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:19,434
You don't have to
worry about Arch.
316
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,934
He's one of us.
I can vouch for him.
317
00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:25,067
That's nice of you there,
uh, Glordy...
318
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:27,667
You thought I was gonna
mess it up again, huh?
319
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,100
Well, let me ask you
this, Rich--
320
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,701
- Mitch.
- Whatever.
321
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:38,400
You say that, uh,
certain businessmen are joinin' up, huh?
322
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,367
More than is
generally known.
323
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,067
Oh, oh.
324
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:45,234
Well...well, I can't see
it would do me any harm
325
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,634
to look in on this, you know?
326
00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:49,467
Uh, when are your meetings?
327
00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:51,167
- Tuesdays.
- Ah, jeez.
328
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,734
Well, if you're busy,
forget it.
329
00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:55,067
No, maybe I could
fix it up, you know?
330
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,734
Go about it
the right way.
331
00:14:56,734 --> 00:15:00,400
Uh, Harry, what night
is your daughter's weddin'?
332
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,801
Tuesday, Arch.
333
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,234
Make it Wednesday.
334
00:15:04,234 --> 00:15:05,934
Okay, fellas, I'm in.
335
00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:18,300
Huh?
336
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:19,334
Huh?
337
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:20,667
Hey...
338
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,467
Michael,
you're brilliant.
339
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:25,400
I know, honey.
Thank you.
340
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,934
It's the best letter
to the editor I ever read.
341
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:31,067
Isn't it great?
What do you like about it best?
342
00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:34,901
Your name.
343
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,467
It's funny you should say that,
344
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,634
but it really looks great
in print, doesn't it?
345
00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:41,000
I wish Joey could read.
He'd be so proud.
346
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,367
Yeah. And it's--it's
such an intelligent letter.
347
00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,133
- Isn't it?
- Powerful.
348
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,267
Powerful.
349
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:49,901
It's powerful.
350
00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:51,901
This is my favorite part,
right here.
351
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:53,100
What?
352
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:56,267
"When the uneducated,
unemployed take food
353
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:57,934
"to feed their children,
354
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,868
"it's called 'looting.'
355
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:02,434
"When the multi-national
industrialists
356
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,868
"line their pockets
with millions,
357
00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:07,501
it's called
'free enterprise.'"
358
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:09,100
Huh?
359
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,400
Powerful!
360
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,634
Powerful. And what about
the last paragraph?
361
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:14,634
Like it.
362
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:18,567
What happened to "powerful"?
363
00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:20,901
- You don't love it?
- Like it a lot.
364
00:16:20,901 --> 00:16:22,868
Why don't you love it?
365
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:25,067
You can't love
what you don't understand.
366
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,834
Wh--What don't you
understand?
367
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,868
This part right here.
Here it is.
368
00:16:29,868 --> 00:16:33,167
"Must we resort to ex--
369
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:34,734
"exacerbating extremes."
370
00:16:34,734 --> 00:16:35,834
...extremes."
371
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,501
What's exacerbating?
372
00:16:37,501 --> 00:16:39,667
Exacerbating means
to make more violent,
373
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,133
more severe.
374
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,334
Exacerbating.
375
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:46,234
Sounds like something
your mother would spank you for
376
00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:48,868
if she caught you doin' it.
377
00:16:48,868 --> 00:16:49,868
[PHONE RINGS]
378
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,067
Is that nice talk?
379
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:53,133
I ask you,
is that nice talk?
380
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:54,133
[RINGS]
381
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,300
Hello?
382
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,834
Yes, this is
the same Michael Stivic that wrote the letter.
383
00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:01,234
Powerful, huh?
384
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,400
Yeah, well--
385
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,601
Uh--hey! Hey--
386
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,100
Hung up.
387
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,200
Who was it, honey?
388
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,501
Well, it seems, uh...
389
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:19,567
like a concerned citizen
from some civic organization
390
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:22,267
had a somewhat negative reaction
to my letter.
391
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:23,734
What did he say?
392
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:25,434
Well, among other things
393
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:28,701
he said he wanted to
burn a cross on our front lawn.
394
00:17:29,934 --> 00:17:32,234
Oh, Michael, that's scary.
395
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,734
Honey, honey,
we have nothing to worry about.
396
00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:38,100
- Why?
- Well, for one thing we don't have a front lawn.
397
00:17:44,634 --> 00:17:48,000
So, this commie,
Michael Stivic,
398
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,601
who wrote the letter
to the paper,
399
00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:53,601
is the son-in-law
of the same Archie Bunker
400
00:17:53,601 --> 00:17:55,834
that you're proposing
for membership?
401
00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:57,868
Yeah, but Arch
didn't write that letter.
402
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,300
He doesn't think like that.
403
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,067
Now, you phoned this Stivic?
404
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,701
Oh, yeah. I put
the fear of God into him.
405
00:18:03,701 --> 00:18:05,400
Would Bunker go along with us
406
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,033
in burning a cross
on Stivic's lawn?
407
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:10,100
No, I don't think
he'd do that.
408
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,434
- Why not?
- Because Stivic lives right next door to him.
409
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,868
If Stivic lived
up in the Bronx, I bet he'd do it.
410
00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:18,734
I don't think we should have
anything to do with Bunker.
411
00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:22,400
Now, wait a minute! We're in
a membership drive here.
412
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,734
And I think Arch Bunker'd
make a great member.
413
00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:26,801
I seen him once
on the TV news
414
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,467
talking against
gun control.
415
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:29,767
I'm telling
you guys,
416
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,567
he talks and thinks
just like we do.
417
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,901
Now, you can't turn down
a guy like that
418
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,767
just because
of his son-in-law.
419
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:37,100
I hate to admit it,
420
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,567
but I got a son-in-law
wears an earring.
421
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:05,801
Didn't I see you once
over Nordham Boulevard?
422
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:08,367
I was watching
a fire.
423
00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:16,734
Hey, what's this
your name is over there,
424
00:19:16,734 --> 00:19:18,601
how long is this
gonna take?
425
00:19:18,601 --> 00:19:21,167
The members gotta finish
old business first.
426
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:22,601
You're new business.
427
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:25,701
I don't wanna be too late.
I wanna get back to my saloon.
428
00:19:25,701 --> 00:19:28,133
I like to watch
the Johnny Carson show with the customers.
429
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,801
You know who
he's got on tonight?
430
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,901
Charo. Hey!
431
00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:35,300
She cuchi-cuchies,
the guys die, you know?
432
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,868
Unless they're dead
already.
433
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,634
All right, I want to
ask you a few questions for this application.
434
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:47,834
Yeah. Go ahead, shoot.
435
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:50,200
Are you now
or have you ever been
436
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,000
a member of
any un-American organization?
437
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,901
I am not now
and never have been nothin'.
438
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,534
Do you believe
in white supremacy?
439
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,167
I certainly do...
440
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:06,133
except in boxing, baseball,
and basketball.
441
00:20:07,367 --> 00:20:09,767
Okay, what about
the following:
442
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:12,934
Mohammedism, Judaism,
Catholicism,
443
00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:15,167
Shintoism or Buddhism.
444
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:18,367
Have you ever subscribed
to any of the above?
445
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,601
Nah, I never
subscribed to nothin'...
446
00:20:21,601 --> 00:20:24,467
'cept Life magazine.
447
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,968
It ain't been
coming lately.
448
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,100
Are you a regular,
church-going Christian?
449
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,534
I am a Christian,
and I hit church
450
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:40,968
every Easter Sunday
regular.
451
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:45,634
Are you willing to
give your life for your country?
452
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:50,601
Hey, any guy that ain't
willing to give his life for his country,
453
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:53,067
you know what he deserves?
454
00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:54,200
Death!!!
455
00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:09,033
All right.
Do you mind if I come over and hang around by you?
456
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,133
All right, Krusaders,
457
00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:16,634
hoods off to receive
the neophyte.
458
00:21:17,701 --> 00:21:18,767
[DINGS]
459
00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:22,734
[DINGING CONTINUES]
460
00:21:22,734 --> 00:21:24,667
What the hell is that?
461
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,234
They're ready for you,
Bunker.
462
00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:27,367
Come on, let's go.
463
00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:29,434
W-Wait a minute.
Before we go in there,
464
00:21:29,434 --> 00:21:33,601
I mean, they aren't
gonna do nothin' like in the fraternities,
465
00:21:33,601 --> 00:21:35,601
are they, like, you know?
466
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:37,000
They make you eat
a raw egg,
467
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,801
and tell ya
someone will slime ya.
468
00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:40,200
No, no.
469
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,000
I can't take
any of paddlin' there.
470
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,567
I got a lot of
German shrapnel on the bottom.
471
00:21:45,567 --> 00:21:49,033
It's nasty tricks like that
that kept me from accepting
472
00:21:49,033 --> 00:21:51,701
my scholarship to college.
473
00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:52,734
No.
474
00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:57,000
Enter.
475
00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:01,501
[CHEERING]
476
00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:03,200
Hey, how are ya?
477
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,767
Look at you up there.
478
00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:06,133
Hiya, fellas.
479
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:07,534
What do ya got on?
480
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,234
That's the--
that's the uniform, Arch.
481
00:22:10,234 --> 00:22:13,534
You put me in mind
of the Little Sisters of the Sick.
482
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,334
Wait'll you see the hats.
Sit down.
483
00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:20,400
Yeah, sure. Sure.
484
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,267
Bunker, are you
aware of this letter
485
00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:27,567
to the paper from
one Michael Stivic?
486
00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:29,601
Yeah, but don't pay
no attention to that.
487
00:22:29,601 --> 00:22:31,100
He's only my son-in-law.
488
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,300
The views expressed
in this letter,
489
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,133
do you adhere to them?
490
00:22:35,133 --> 00:22:37,601
I don't like nothin'
I'd hear from him,
491
00:22:37,601 --> 00:22:40,234
but I can't shut him up.
492
00:22:41,934 --> 00:22:44,567
I mean,
do the views expressed here
493
00:22:44,567 --> 00:22:48,133
reflect your attitudes
toward the subject hereinafter
494
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:51,467
referred to by your son-in-law?
495
00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:53,701
Let me tell ya--
my son-in-law don't know nothin'
496
00:22:53,701 --> 00:22:55,501
about the American way of life
497
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:57,100
because he's from Chicago.
498
00:22:59,434 --> 00:23:01,767
Haven't you ever tried
to use your authority
499
00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:04,467
as titular head of the house
to straighten him out?
500
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:06,868
Uh, the titular head?
501
00:23:10,501 --> 00:23:11,901
That's the mother,
ain't it?
502
00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,434
Would you join us
503
00:23:16,434 --> 00:23:18,534
in a little reprimand?
504
00:23:18,534 --> 00:23:22,400
Yeah, sure, I ain't drivin'.
Anything you want to serve.
505
00:23:23,567 --> 00:23:24,968
But put it with water
506
00:23:24,968 --> 00:23:28,133
'cause ginger ale
give me dispopsis.
507
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:29,868
No, no, no, no.
508
00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:32,968
I'm talking about
a warning to Stivic
509
00:23:32,968 --> 00:23:36,334
to either change his views
or keep them to himself.
510
00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:38,133
I'm tryin' for
over seven years
511
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:40,434
to get the guy
to change his views!
512
00:23:40,434 --> 00:23:42,601
Then you are willing to join us
513
00:23:42,601 --> 00:23:45,934
in teaching him a lesson
he'll never forget?
514
00:23:45,934 --> 00:23:49,234
Hey! You show me
how to turn that guy around
515
00:23:49,234 --> 00:23:52,934
and make him into a God-fearing
patriotic American citizen,
516
00:23:52,934 --> 00:23:54,267
I'll do whatever you want.
517
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:57,100
Hey! I'd be with you for life!
518
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,567
All right!
519
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:01,434
That's the way we
want you, Archie boy, polite!
520
00:24:01,434 --> 00:24:02,367
Hey...
521
00:24:34,267 --> 00:24:36,834
ROB REINER: All in the Family
was recorded on tape
522
00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:38,501
before a live audience.
523
00:24:38,551 --> 00:24:43,101
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