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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,800 When you live with someone, they can really push your buttons. 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,240 Especially when they're sticking their knob in your mam. 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,680 Will you two shut up in there? 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,080 Who's the sergeant now? 5 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,080 Conor. 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,320 Get out! 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,360 What does this say? "Attention, Conor. 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,040 "Before you leave the shower, 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,160 "wipe down the tiles and take your pubes out of the drain." 10 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,560 My pubes aren't grey, so... 11 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,080 Quick tip - there really shouldn't be any suds on the cup 12 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,560 when you put it in the draining rack. 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,800 The suds are actually the dirtiest thing in the sink. 14 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,000 When you hear yourself saying things like that, 15 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,600 do you ever just want to punch yourself in the face? 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,160 Just rinse the cup. 17 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:53,960 What are you doing? 18 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,040 I can't see, OK? 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,880 I need to be able to find my box of fishing tackle. 20 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,720 Well, I can't see the TV. 21 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,360 Well, I can't see anything. 22 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,840 See them? 23 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,160 Leave it open. 24 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,880 Leave it, leave it... Leave it open! Oh! 25 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,360 What is going on?! 26 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,440 He did it! Well, he started it. 27 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,480 Oh, I started it, did I? You're playing on your silly little... 28 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,360 Because I was here minding my own business... 29 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,800 Shut the fuck up! 30 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,400 Oh, I thought I was blind. 31 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,560 You asked me to make an effort, and I made an effort. 32 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,120 But it's pointless. He doesn't listen to me. 33 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,480 He doesn't want to do anything with me. Obviously what you're doing 34 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,520 is not working, all right? He's an adult now. 35 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,840 He's not a child any more. 36 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,960 Mam, could you do that? Yeah, of course. 37 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,400 I hear you, OK? And I promise I'll make more of an effort 38 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,320 when I come back from my fishing trip. 39 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,640 But, sure, that's perfect. He can go with you. 40 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,360 Ah, what? Not a chance. 41 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,760 Fishing is my...me time. OK, you're going together. 42 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,440 Cos, Conor, otherwise you can forget about your dinners being cooked 43 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,960 and your clothes being washed 44 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,920 and all the million things that I do for you every single day. 45 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,320 And, Tony, you can forget when I said... 46 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:04,640 What did she say? 47 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,160 We're going fishing. 48 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,360 What did she say to you? 49 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,440 Oh, don't worry at all, Conor. I got all this. 50 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,840 OK. 51 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,800 Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? 52 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,600 I was being sarcastic, you little prick. 53 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,360 Ah, there's the Healy I know. 54 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,720 This is fun, isn't it? 55 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,800 It's like a father-son thing. 56 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,360 And you get to meet Tony's dad. He's got a pub down by the lake. 57 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,160 It's like three generations. 58 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,920 First of all, Conor is not my son. 59 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,240 Yeah, you fucking wish. 60 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,640 Second of all, any father-son memories I have, 61 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,240 Conor wouldn't want to relive. Trust me. 62 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,800 Don't mind Tony. His dad's great craic. 63 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,880 Bye, love. Bye, love. 64 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,120 Drive safe. 65 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,120 Watch out, watch out, watch out! 66 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,440 Got you. 67 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,000 What are you trying to catch anyway? Some stupid fish? 68 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,720 Not just any fish. 69 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,440 I was at the lake two weeks ago, and I hooked the biggest trout 70 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,880 that's ever been caught there. 71 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,120 Yeah? Did you eat it? 72 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,720 No, it got away. 73 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,520 So you didn't catch a fish, you saw a fish. 74 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,760 Yeah, well, it won't get away this time. 75 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,960 I thought it was an hour away. 76 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,400 I took the scenic route. 77 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,240 Who takes the long way on purpose? 78 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,120 Like, you do know that me and Mam work in a fish shop? 79 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,360 We can get fish whenever we want. 80 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,920 We don't need to pull it out of the water. 81 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,240 When you catch it yourself, it tastes better. 82 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,120 Have you got any food? I'm starving. 83 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,920 What the fuck! Worms! 84 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,480 Maggots! Will you put the lid back on? 85 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,840 They're crawling on me! 86 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,120 Fuck's sake! 87 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,480 It's in my mouth! 88 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,560 They're biting my nipples! Help me get my jumper off! 89 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,200 They're crawling into my hole! I got you, I got you. 90 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,200 Who puts maggots in a lunchbox?! 91 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,040 It's not a lunchbox! 92 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,280 It's a bait box! How was I supposed to know? 93 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,120 Morning. Morning. 94 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,640 Grand day for it. 95 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,400 Just get back in the car and don't touch anything. 96 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,520 Still going up my hole. 97 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,640 The only thing I can think of 98 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,800 that would be worse than spending a weekend with Tony Healy 99 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,760 is spending a weekend with two Tony Healys. 100 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,040 But as it turned out, only one of them Tony Healys 101 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,440 was a boring prick. 102 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,800 It's the famous Conor. 103 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,840 Finally get to meet you at last! 104 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,320 Aye. 105 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,920 And you're as good-looking as your mam, aye? Stop! 106 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,960 And you've the patience of a saint living with my young fella. 107 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,880 Oh, that's it. Oh! 108 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,400 We just came in to get some bait. 109 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,120 Great. Come down to the end of the bar, 110 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,640 I'll get you sorted, Junior. 111 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,160 Oh, your dad's sound. 112 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,520 He's not like you at all. 113 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,840 Junior. 114 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,120 Don't call me that, all right? Only he calls me that. 115 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,720 All right, Junior? What's the craic, Junior? How are you? 116 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,840 Ah, Junior, how are you? 117 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,600 Junior it is. 118 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,560 Why do they call you Junior? 119 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,280 It's all about dick size. 120 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,800 Tiny! Yeah, well, mine's grown a bit since I was ten. 121 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,120 So has mine. 122 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,600 Mine's growing right now! 123 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,240 You were seen fishing up the lake the last few weeks. 124 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,720 You never came down. 125 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,720 Yeah, I was going to, but, you know, I got called back to work. 126 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,120 Jesus. Here, Senior. 127 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,600 Is that a real fish? 128 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,880 Oh, you can be sure of it. 129 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,920 That's massive. 130 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,840 It was caught by the best fisherman on the lake. 131 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,160 You? 132 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,160 He's talking about himself. Oh. 133 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,080 Junior caught this lovely little fella. 134 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,560 Make a nice badge, wouldn't it? 135 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,160 Tiny! Like his mickey! 136 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,280 Yeah, I caught that when I was, like, ten, 137 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,320 and he just puts it up there to make his look bigger. 138 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,680 It does. 139 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,400 Right. That'll be nine euro. 140 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,360 You're charging me? Yeah. 141 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,560 Well, the man's got to make a living. 142 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,800 That young fella'll go far. 143 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,640 Go on, so. I'll give you a family discount. 144 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,840 8.50. 145 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,160 Ha-ha! I've no change. 146 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,040 I'll take you on at a game of pool, though, before you go. 147 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,960 Or darts, or rings. 148 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,640 No. What's wrong with you? 149 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,320 Are you afraid of getting thrashed by the old man 150 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,360 in front of the young fella? 151 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,000 No. It's just we've got to get camp set up. 152 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,720 There's a spare room above. 153 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,760 No, we'll camp out. 154 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,160 Suit yourselves. 155 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,200 Can we just stay here? I don't want to go camping, like. 156 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,800 I'm not sure if you've noticed, but his favourite hobby 157 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,960 is to make me feel like shit, OK? No, thank you. 158 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,840 Sounds like a you problem. 159 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,600 Enjoy the fishing, boys! 160 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,320 Leave a few big ones behind for me. 161 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,320 See you, Senior! 162 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,840 Your dad is a legend. 163 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,520 Everybody knows the whole reason humans evolved 164 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,400 was to make life easier for ourselves. 165 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,360 What's this? You sleep in it. Tiny. 166 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,400 That's why we invented houses, and electricity. 167 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,400 After all that hard work, why would anyone want to go camping? 168 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,680 Grab that pole there. 169 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,560 OK. And it's going to go up through there. 170 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,280 Keep going. 171 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,800 It's getting harder. 172 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,480 Is it there? 173 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,840 No, it's gone floppy here. 174 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,200 Conor. Yeah? Will you hit this in, please? 175 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,440 Just mind my hand. 176 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,880 Come on. 177 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,480 Harder? Come on, will ya? 178 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,720 Argh! 179 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,480 I told you to mind my hand. 180 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,200 You should mind your own hand. 181 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,080 I'm not the one with the fucking hammer. 182 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,520 You're the one with the hand, though. 183 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,040 So how you getting on in the great outdoors? Are you having fun? 184 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,920 Yeah. Yeah. 185 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,840 Come on, you stupid thing! 186 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,880 Yeah, no, we're getting on like a house on fire. 187 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,720 More like a house fire, I'd say. No, look, his attitude is great. 188 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,720 There's a family of worms here, Tony. 189 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,120 Actually, he's always loved the nature, like, so... 190 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,520 Yeah, he's a natural hunter, so... 191 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,640 I'm delighted you're getting on. 192 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,400 You know, it's early days yet, but we've... 193 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,160 We've got all the stressful jobs out of the way, and, um, 194 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,400 once we get out on the water and start fishing, 195 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,720 we'll be bonding in no time. 196 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,640 Just don't let him wander off on his own, all right? 197 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,000 No. Uh, I should be so lucky. 198 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,920 Look, sure, I'll let you go back to Conor. OK. 199 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720 Bye-bye-bye. Bye! Bye-bye-bye. 200 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,600 Can I smoke in the tent? 201 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,280 Conor. 202 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,240 Get the bait. 203 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,720 What? 204 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,480 We're going fishing. 205 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,320 Catching fish takes a lot of skill. 206 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,120 They're smarter than we give them credit for. 207 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,920 Bullshit, boy. I work with fish every day. 208 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,480 They seem dumb as fuck to me. 209 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,320 Yeah, well, the one we're going after today is smart. 210 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,240 Two weeks ago, he pretended to be in shock 211 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,680 when I was taking the hook out. 212 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,560 The moment I had it out, he flipped out of my hands and swam away. 213 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,080 He did, I swear. 214 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,760 Totally. I believe you. 215 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,240 Fish was pretending to be dead. 216 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,320 Eyes closed, pretending not to breathe. 217 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,760 Was its tongue sticking out its mouth like this? 218 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,600 All right, dickhead, just cast off and we'll see who's smarter, 219 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,680 you or the fish. 220 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,840 Now, the key is, right, hold the rod tight. 221 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,480 Nice and tight. It's not rocket science. 222 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,080 I've got it. 223 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,880 When you've been working as a fishmonger as long as me, 224 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,280 fishing with a rod is something you develop naturally 225 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,920 without any practice. 226 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,040 Sort of the same way babies can swim without armbands 227 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,120 because they've been living 228 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,760 in their mam's womb water for nine months. 229 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,080 All right, I got it, I got it. OK. 230 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,520 Oh! 231 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,280 Oh, Jesus. Ah, fuck. 232 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,960 Conor! It's stuck on something. 233 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,280 I know! Argh! 234 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,760 I need to do it harder, is it? No, no, no, no, no! 235 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,960 Oh, Jesus, Conor, pull it out! Pull this out. 236 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,560 What's that? You want me to cast again? 237 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,120 No, no, no, no, no, no, please! Right. 238 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,160 Ah, Jesus! 239 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,920 Oh, God! Oh, God! 240 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,200 What's happening? 241 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,440 Conor! What? 242 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,480 Pull it out! Oh, shit! 243 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,240 Ah! OK, OK. 244 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,240 Breathe, breathe. Which way...? 245 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,080 Oh, Jesus Christ! Count down from five, please. 246 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,200 Five, four, three, two, one! 247 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,040 Sitting in awkward silence 248 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,120 is something I got very good at in prison. 249 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,200 But after 30 minutes, someone has to say something. 250 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,360 Why'd you start fishing, anyway? 251 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,360 I was advised to take up a hobby 252 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,680 to get my mind off catching criminals. 253 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,240 So you went from trying to catch criminals 254 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,640 you couldn't catch on a bike 255 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,240 to a fish you couldn't catch on a lake? 256 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,920 When you catch the fish, do you have to read them their rights? 257 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,520 Very funny. 258 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,680 Are the fish innocent until proven guilty? 259 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,800 Do you know what, Conor? Just get it all out of your system. 260 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,400 No, that's it. All right, I'm done. 261 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,560 It's a good PLAICE for it, isn't it? 262 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,440 Oh! 263 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,840 Ah! 264 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,840 How sore is that on a SCALE of one to ten? 265 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,920 Stop, Conor, will you? 266 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,160 What's going on? 267 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,600 Tony! What's going on? 268 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,000 Sh! Will you keep your voice down? 269 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,440 You're going to scare it away. 270 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,320 That splashing over there was the trout. I know it was. 271 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,760 Will you hold this? 272 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,680 Conor, will you stop it? You're going to scare it away. 273 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,440 Do it like I showed you. 274 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,520 I think I got something! 275 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,360 No, you didn't. 276 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,520 Look, I did! 277 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,240 Jesus, you do have something. 278 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,200 I told you! Pull it in, pull it in quickly. 279 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,720 I am! Pull it in, Conor, pull it in! It's getting away. 280 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,480 I know! Reel and pull and pull. I am! Stop telling me what to do! 281 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,320 Reel it in, come on! Fine! You do it. Jesus Christ. 282 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,400 Yeah, that's the guy. That's the one I almost caught. 283 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,600 Holy shit! It's bigger than your dad's one! 284 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,240 I know. 285 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,480 Come on, come on. 286 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,560 Oh... 287 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,920 Ah, bollocks. 288 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,760 Why aren't you upset? 289 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,320 Because now I know where it lives. 290 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,600 And trout come out to feed in the morning. 291 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,720 So tomorrow, it's mine. 292 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,480 A duck! 293 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,600 That's a mad-looking duck. 294 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,320 # Confess what I've done 295 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:53,600 # And I'll ask them to pardon the prodigal son 296 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,480 # And as they caress me... # 297 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,600 So there we were, right, caught nothing all day, 298 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,400 and we see this monster fish jump in the distance. 299 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,880 So we're on it. 300 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,800 Cast off to that spot. 301 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,600 We have a bite within two minutes. 302 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,240 It was a massive fucker. 303 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,320 Like, way bigger than that one, wasn't it? 304 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,040 And? 305 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,520 He slipped off the hook as I was hauling him in. 306 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,400 But I know where he is now, so I'll get him tomorrow. 307 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,440 Two pints of Beamish, please. 308 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,160 Any luck with the fishing? 309 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,680 Aye, there was this one... 310 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,560 No, uh, nothing at all. 311 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,720 Tell me something, Conor, I've been trying to figure out. 312 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,920 How did Junior here convince your mam to go out with him? 313 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,400 Well, that's one of life's big mysteries. 314 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,360 Loch Ness, the morning boner and that. 315 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,800 My noble call - Junior for a song. 316 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,440 What? No, no, no, no, no. Jesus! 317 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,120 No, no, no. Don't waste your breath. 318 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,680 Junior doesn't sing at all. 319 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,400 He does sing. He sings all the time. 320 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,960 No, I don't. 321 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,040 Yes, you do. You sing in the shower all the time. 322 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,480 You even sang a song to get my mum to marry you. 323 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,240 You have a great voice...for a guard. 324 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,600 Go on, Junior! 325 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,760 Here. 326 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,640 These are on the house. 327 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,840 Go on, Junior, sing a song for your old man. 328 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,160 Ah, you will. 329 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,680 Junior! Junior! Junior! Junior! 330 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,840 All right, all right, all right. I'll sing something. 331 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,560 This is, uh, one Mam and Dad used to sing. 332 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,840 # I am a sailor 333 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,600 # You're my first mate 334 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,960 # We signed on together 335 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,640 # We coupled our fate 336 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,800 # Hauled up our anchor 337 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,120 # Determined not to fail 338 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,960 # For the heart's treasure 339 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,120 # Together we set sail 340 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,800 # With no maps to guide us 341 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,200 # We steered our own course 342 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:25,880 # Rode out the storms when the winds were gale force 343 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:31,720 # Sat out the doldrums in patience and hope 344 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:38,000 # Working together we learned how to cope 345 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,680 # Life is an ocean 346 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,000 # And love is a boat 347 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,240 # In troubled waters 348 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,080 # That keeps us afloat 349 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,320 # When we started the voyage 350 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:59,080 # It was just me and you 351 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,200 # Now gathered round us 352 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,320 # We have our own crew. # 353 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,000 # How can I protect you from the... # 354 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,000 ALL, DRUNKENLY: # I am a sailor 355 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,680 # And you're my first mate 356 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,720 # We signed up together... # 357 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,080 I'll see you, Mary. I'll give you a text! 358 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,920 I got Mary's number. She's sound, mind. 359 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,160 I don't feel so good. 360 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,000 Oh, I feel ten out of ten. 361 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,640 Oh! 362 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,520 Conor, will you rub my back? It helps me to get it up. 363 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,320 I'm not rubbing your back. I'll pat it. Oh! 364 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,080 You're all right. 365 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,040 Oh, God. Mind the shoes! 366 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,400 Uh-oh. 367 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,840 Ah! 368 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,640 Here, get that into you. It'll help you. 369 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,080 Tony? 370 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,560 What? 371 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,080 Are you asleep? 372 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,560 Obviously not. 373 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,080 Tony? 374 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,480 What? 375 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,760 Tony, it's cold. 376 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,160 Why don't you come on over here, right, 377 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,120 we'll do like the penguins and we'll huddle together for warmth. 378 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,240 What? Like the penguins. 379 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,000 I'm not fucking doing that. Why do you want me to do that? 380 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,600 I just think we'd both be warmer if you did. 381 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,000 Why don't you do it to me? 382 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,960 Cos I asked you to come over here. 383 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,840 I'm asking you. You're older. You come over here. 384 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,120 Difference does it make that I'm older? 385 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,240 Why don't we both meet in the middle? OK. On three. 386 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,280 One. Two. Three. 387 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,320 Ahhh. 388 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,680 Tony? What? 389 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,400 Who was your...? Who was your first kiss? 390 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,120 Seriously, Conor? 391 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,040 I have to talk to get to sleep. 392 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,400 I'm not telling you that. 393 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,400 I'll keep annoying you till you do. 394 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,000 OK, fine. 395 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,800 It was a girl named Trudy. 396 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,600 Yeah? Yeah. 397 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,520 What was she like? 398 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,360 She was OK. 399 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,000 Where is she now? 400 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,400 I think she's dead. 401 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,000 Morning. 402 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,720 What the hell is he doing here? 403 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,960 Ah! Lovely morning. 404 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,360 How are the boys? 405 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,520 That's a cosy set-up, isn't it? 406 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,600 We should get out on the water. 407 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,840 I'll show you how to catch that little fish you were talking about. 408 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,960 Oh, he is class. 409 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,800 You told him about the fish? 410 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,720 Er...well, yeah. 411 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,960 Last night we were just chatting a bit, and I was... 412 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,920 I was bigging you up, though, I said you nearly caught 413 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,880 a bigger fish than the one in the pub. 414 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,280 And, uh, I told him that you figured out where to catch it, too. 415 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,680 So he said he'd join us, like. 416 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,800 You told him on purpose? 417 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,840 Is there a problem? 418 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,520 You knew the one thing that would hurt me more than anything 419 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,120 in the world would be to watch him hauling in that fish instead of me. 420 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,040 I don't give a fuck who catches the fish. 421 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,000 Fishing is stupid and you're both idiots if you care about it. 422 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,200 What are you doing? 423 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,280 I'm not sticking around to watch him rub my nose in it 424 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,720 like he always fucking does when he hauls in that fish. 425 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,000 Pack up the stuff. We're leaving. 426 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,400 Are you giving up already? 427 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,200 Why couldn't you just have kept your mouth shut? 428 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,840 You don't own my mouth, boy. My mouth can say what it wants. 429 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,720 Just pack up the car. 430 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,000 Nah. You're the one who wants to leave, you pack it up. 431 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,640 I'm having a cigarette. 432 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,000 It's just a fish, Healy. Get over it. 433 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,120 Ha-ha! 434 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,760 I'll tell you something. 435 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,680 If my dad was alive and he liked catching big fish... 436 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,280 ..I'd do anything just to go down and spend time with him 437 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,960 and help him do that. 438 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,880 I'm saying you should go down and help your dad do it. 439 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,200 I know what you're saying. 440 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,000 Did you forget something? 441 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,720 What's that? Well, you won't catch many fish without a rod. 442 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,920 Just thought you could use some help. 443 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,280 That's if you want it. 444 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be great. 445 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,800 Here, you can hold this if you want. 446 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,600 Any bites yet? Nah. 447 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,080 Might be in the wrong spot. 448 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,040 Cast out to that ridge over there. 449 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,360 That's where we hooked him yesterday. 450 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,000 Hair of the dog? 451 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,160 One for you. 452 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,800 Aah. 453 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,920 Might not be our day, boys. 454 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,960 Conor had this interesting technique that he was using yesterday. 455 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,560 Conor, do you want to show Dad? 456 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,880 Ah, well, yeah. 457 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,920 So, it's pretty straightforward, really. You just... 458 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,680 You take the rod and you just kind of fuck it. 459 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,640 Just move it around as much as you can. 460 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,240 Don't think too much about it. 461 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,920 You won't catch much doing that, 462 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,520 except the rock at the bottom of the lake. 463 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:48,520 See? Oh! Told you. 464 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,240 That's no rock. 465 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,920 Ah, that's a rock. 466 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,840 No fish would be that strong. 467 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,240 Oh! Oh, fuck! 468 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,760 Fuck's sake! 469 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,040 Hold it! Don't lose it now. That's it, Dad. Nice and easy. 470 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,680 Nice and easy. A big one. A really big one! 471 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,080 Junior. 472 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,680 I mean Tony. 473 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,080 It's a bit too big for me just to pull. 474 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,680 Here, give me a hand. 475 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,680 That's it. I think we're going to need more manpower. 476 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:20,920 Come on, Conor! 477 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,680 OK. 478 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,560 Come on, that's it! It's coming! 479 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,760 Here we go! Get it, get it, get it! 480 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,880 It's fucking huge! 481 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,640 Oh, class! 482 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,200 Well, what you want to do with it? 483 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,840 Er... Oh, geez, I don't know. 484 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,600 You caught it. You decide. 485 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,680 We all caught it. I'd prefer you decide. 486 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,360 Do you know what? 487 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,000 You've already got one award-winning fish behind the bar. 488 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,840 If you haven't gone fishing before, like me, 489 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,800 you probably think fishing is about catching fish. 490 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,320 He's free. 491 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,680 But the catching part only lasts for about a minute. 492 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,520 The rest of the day, you're spending time in your own head 493 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,120 solving the problems from the week before. 494 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,000 Or problems that have been stuck in your head for years. 495 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,040 It reminds me of this YouTube video... 496 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,960 Like how to find a way to enjoy time with a family member 497 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,240 who drives you mental most of the time. 498 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,160 I'll leave you for a minute, will I? 499 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,800 I'm kind of hungry. 500 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,160 Yeah. 501 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,960 How long is the drive home? 502 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,680 Don't worry. I'll take the fastest way. 503 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,200 Ah, I'm in no rush. 504 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,440 I don't mind taking the scenic route. 505 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:28,680 Well, it wasn't that bad, fishing. 506 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,760 Yeah? Do you think you'll get into it? 507 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,960 Er, no. OK. 508 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,520 That's it, yeah. 509 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,200 You're doing good. You're doing good, Tone. 510 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,880 OK, he's coming up behind me. Will you get him? 511 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,280 You've got a lightning, use it. 512 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,160 Yes! OK. OK. You're still first. Grand. 513 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,840 Lads! What's going on? Your fishing shit's everywhere, 514 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,440 and there's mud all over the hallway. 515 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,480 I think I got one of those lightning things now. 516 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,320 Yeah, you're ready to go. You keep going. 517 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,920 Ah, Jesus, Mairead, we can't see the screen! 518 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,080 It's the middle of the day, Tony. 519 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,040 Yeah, well, we're in the middle of a race. OK? 520 00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,240 A race. Seriously? 521 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,160 Leave it. I don't care what you're in the middle of. 522 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,760 We can't see the screen. It's the middle of the day. 523 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,440 We can't... Don't be so stupid. Tony! 524 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,120 Yes! I came fourth. 525 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,360 Yes! You... You came last, though. Ugh. 526 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,800 Seriously, Tony? Seriously? 527 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,920 We're on to the next level. Come on. 528 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,640 Sorry. We're on to the next level there. 529 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,080 Who just came in? 530 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,200 Oh, fuck's sake. 531 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,800 Who was that? Hmm? 532 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,000 # I am a sailor 533 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,040 # You're my first mate 534 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,160 # We signed on together 535 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,760 # We coupled our fate 536 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,040 # Hauled up our anchor 537 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,760 # Determined not to fail 538 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,760 # For the heart's treasure 539 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,760 # Together we set sail. # 36774