Original subtitles

Clyde Paxton, one of our best agents, Mrs. Peel.

Or rather, he was. - What are the details?

Early this morning, at exactly 3:45 AM...

He was fished out of the Thames.

Obviously dumped. - Obviously.

Obviously.

Drowned? - Shot.

With this.

It was fired... - From a 16th century gun, medium calibre.

Probably a sporting piece.

Used almost exclusively by noblemen in the Elizabethan period.

With that answer you gain ten points and your team goes into the lead.

It's curiously arcane. - Ah, but the problem is very much to date.

Notorious criminals, miscreants, evil doers.

Men on the run. - Are disappearing without trace.

That's a fact, on the run one minute, vanished the next.

Someone has devised an escape route.

Ah, exactly what we at the Ministry think.

Oh, it's an escape route all right.

Paxton was on to it, I'll show you the file.

Excuse me. At my apartment.

Oh, uh, thanks, for all your help.

The first one was Carl Bleshner,

a German financier, ran off with half and embezzled millions.

Ah yes, I've got him. Very greedy face.

Well, there's an even greedier one.

French bank robber.

He disappeared with a cool million.

Now, there's a face full of avarice.

Reminds me of an Auntie of mine.

This one needs no introduction.

President B.B. Jim. - Arrived election HQ, took off his hat...

took off his coat, - took off with the Party funds.

I wonder what did happen to B.B. Jim?

And none of these notorious criminals and evil doers have ever been found.

Nor their ill gotten gains, and stranger than that,

they were last seen heading for the east shore.

Now most men on the run go to South America, not these, they're all coming here.

Now there's an evil face if ever I saw one.

That's Tubby Vincent, he's on our side.

And one for Tubby.

Your friend, Tubby is going to break that bell.

Colonel Josino.

Josino the ex-dictator. - Absconded with half the treasury.

Another man on the run.

Josino arriving from South America.

With a black crocodile?

Make contact 12:30.

Do think he'll turn up?

I hope so.

He could lead us to the escape route, the first link in the chain.

Starting at Mackiedockie Court.

Took quite a beating.

Luckily Mrs. Peel, you... - are made of sterner stuff.

There.

Like it? - Remarkable, quite remarkable.

Oh, it's not that good.

That you can sew.

Known you all this time, never knew that you could sew.

Well, our relationship hasn't been exactly domestic, has it?

Shall we go?

Remember, I follow the escape route and...

I follow you.

How do you do? My name is John...

I will take your passport.

Well, I'm very sorry, but I haven't got it with me.

Oh...

Oh, I... I'm most terribly sorry.

Business is brisk, eh?

Ask no questions, you obey implicitly.

I trust that is clearly understood.

Your trust is not misplaced.

Excellent.

You have travelled far?

Far enough.

You are now near the end of your road.

But from now on, Ganesha is with you.

Ganesha, the elephant god.

Good for human beings, too?

It is the remover of all obstacles.

With it's help you can surmount any barriers.

How do I get the Ganesha to shine on me?

What would you give for an escape?

For freedom, for complete liberty.

Half my kingdom?

Our terms exactly.

You will leave the shop, turn right, and then left past the barber's.

And then?

Oh, in the lap of the gods, huh?

You will turn right, then left... - past the barber's.

One more thing.

Your height was estimated at six foot two, your weight at 170 pounds, correct?

Correct, but you know...

You entered carrying your umbrella in your right hand,

please continue to do so.

Steed?

Steed!

He's here.

And what are you escaping from? Forgive me, but I don't recall your...

notorious exploits, Mr. Steed.

I haven't been found out yet, Mr. uh...

Thyssen. Waldo Thyssen.

You have foresight, Mr. Steed.

I have far more than that.

In currency? - Diamonds.

How did you hear of us, Mr. Steed?

A friend of a friend.

Of a friend.

You know my terms, fifty percent of the uh... - the spoils?

Just so.

My problem is immediate.

Then we will deal with it immediately.

Mine is a unique service, Mr. Steed.

And one that has been...

utilized by many before you.

Bleshner, Gilbert...

B.B. Jim...

Colonel Josino...

He disappeared quite recently, didn't he?

Reports say he's in South America.

Yes, but the reports are wrong.

You can see Colonel Josino, if you wish.

Here?

Oh, it'll never be here, Mr. Steed.

But you can still see him.

Come over here.

That's Epson, isn't it?

Derby day, 1904.

A little before my time.

Not necessarily.

And I would have thought before his time, too.

Colonel Josino.

Well, Mr. Steed?

I can send a man back, through the centuries.

Back to an era where before he never even existed.

Thank you.

And where better to hide,

a place where authority may never pursue you.

Incredible, if it can be done.

Yes, yes, they're all sceptical at first.

That's why I insist on this trial run, so that you may see for yourself that it is possible.

Well, I always had a hankering for the 18th century.

Gadzooks, and stab me vitals.

Now, where should I arrive, Waterloo?

You'll be travelling through time, not distance.

You'll arrive at your point of departure,

this house, in the year 1790.

This house, hm?

Yes, it's been in my family since the 15th century.

Oh, well then I shall run into your forebearers.

1790. Samuel Thyssen was alive then.

A philanderer by repute. A great one for the ladies.

How about the others?

Bruno, a sportsman.

Edwin, a duellist.

Herbert, squire of four counties.

How about this chap?

That's uh, Matthew Thyssen.

The black sheep, an inquisitor, and torturer.

It is said that he invented the rack.

Well, I think I prefer Samuel the philanderer, he's far more my line.

Are you ready to find out?

Mm, hm.

Right. Through the doors then, if you please.

Just... - Oh, I will control the rest.

Oh, you may experience a little dizziness at first,

that's just centrifugal force, don't worry, it'll soon pass.

An escape in time.

Bon voyage.

Samuel the philanderer by repute.

No, if Samuel Thyssen sees us, he'll whip me.

Samuel's outside with his latest doxie.

Come on!

Welcome back, Mr. Steed. I take it that you have no further doubts.

What happens now?

Well, you purchase a one way ticket...

to the past, and your troubles of the present are over.

The price?

Well, you said you had diamonds, Mr. Steed.

I'm inordinately fond of diamonds.

Well, I can't put my hands on them right away.

Oh, but we can give you time, Mr. Steed.

After all, time is our speciality.

You get changed now.

We'll contact you in a day or two.

And you'll have to leave as you arrived: blindfolded.

Forgive me, but it's our precaution against...

Against unwelcome intruders.

A woman!

Our European agent should have warned us.

I shall have to check with head office.

Head office already know, they were my original contacts.

Even so, I ought to... - I was told to expect an efficient operation.

And a minimum of fuss. If this is an example of your efficiency...

Wait!

I should have been warned.

You will leave the shop, turn right, then left past the barber's.

You will then make your final contact.

Wait here.

Mrs. Peel?

Mrs. Peel.

We're looking for a house, a 15th century house.

Righty-ho which road?

Well, it's somewhere around here.

Somewhere?

Well, I was blindfolded when I was taken there.

Yes, but I say old chap, a house in an area the size of that?

Well, blindfolded or not, there are some things I do remember.

Hilly terrain.

Here it is.

Church clock.

Churches.

There are dozens of them.

A bridge.

Bridges.

Any more useful information?

Yes, turkeys.

Turkeys.

Yeah, there were turkeys about.

Why didn't you say so in the first place.

Escape into the past?

Where better?

Do you have a particular vintage in mind?

It's a woman's privilege.

The choice is yours.

I really don't care.

As long as it's a good year.

Victorian?

I hardly think they'd be amused.

No, perhaps not.

And women then, well, they lacked your independence.

I'm thoroughly emancipated.

Does Elizabethan appeal to you?

Not at all. The men were so... tiny.

Yes.

And Matthew was alive then.

I wouldn't want you to meet Matthew Thyssen; he was so cruel.

Especially to pretty women.

The 1790's.

Ah, Georgian.

A mannered, gracious age. Women had their say then.

And men appreciated them, and you, Mrs. Peel, you need to be appreciated.

I appreciate your appreciation.

When do I leave?

There's no time like the present.

There you are.

This is it, or very near it.

The sound came from my back.

So the house must be over there.

Behind that farm.

It suits you. Ah yes, it suits you.

You'll become one of the beauties of the era.

With matching pompadour, and...

If I decide to take up permanent residence.

Yes, yes, quite so.

Well, the sooner I'm there, the sooner I'll know.

Are we ready?

Through these doors, Mrs. Peel.

Through the doors.

By your leave.

Thyssen?

Thyssen!

Thyssen, the woman who was here, she's the one who followed the escape route.

She... she can't be. - She is, I'm certain of it.

How did she get here?

We must find out.

She's on her way to the 1790's, but we will divert her to another era.

Matthew Thyssen's era.

He will know how to deal with her.

Now look, old chap,

I know you're labouring under a strain, you're worried about Mrs. Peel.

If that's a 15th century house to you...

Now I ask again, who are you?

I've already told you. My name is Peel, Mrs. Emma Peel.

These strange clothes you wear.

The devil's work.

Designed to daze and to bewitch a man's senses.

To inflame him to lust.

You should see me 400 years from now.

You're a heretic!

A bord, a witch!

I can think of some names to call you, too.

Short, up to date, highly descriptive names.

Do you know who you are addressing, madam?

Thyssen. Matthew Thyssen.

You're honoured, madam, or benighted.

Whatever happened to the gracious, mannered 1790's?

How came you here?

I will know, madam.

We shall loosen your tongue, from your very head if necessary.

We shall purge your secrets from you.

You will tell us how you came here.

You will recount every step of your journey.

That would take some time.

Time is something that we have aplenty.

Yes?

Where?

Right, you deal with them. I'll tell Thyssen.

I see you doubt out ability.

Well, we will know, madam.

We will know.

Looking for your associate, Mr. Steed?

Well, I'd hardly call her an associate.

She's an old friend.

A late, lamented friend.

When Matthew's finished with her.

Oh, Matthew.

He's the real nasty one, isn't he?

Well. - Well?

Mrs. Peel in the hands of the enemy.

My confederate lying unconscious.

A loaded gun pointed at my neck.

I'm trapped.

Shall we dance?

Oh, thank you.

Thyssen!

Get back!

How do you do?

Out you come.

You're a little ahead of your time, aren't you?

And your time, Mr. Steed, is running out.

Oh, come now, Waldo.

Do you mind if I call you Waldo,

or would you prefer Matthew, Edwin, Samuel...

He's very good at them all, you know.

His Matthew's marvellous.

Oh, I prefer his Samuel; he's a lovable little rogue.

No, no, no, his Matthew's much more in character.

I think I see your point.

All right, that's enough.

Drop it.

Drop it? - Drop it.

Drop it?

Drop it!

Game and set.

The time machine's through there.

A few cleverly placed mirrors, some coloured lights.

Plus a cannister or two of sleeping gas.

For the trial run that is.

Now once the loot's been handed over...

the game is much more lethal. Now, how do we get back?

The way I came, through the 1690's into the 1790's.

Back into the 1960's.

Next stop the moon...

Didn't we get the vote?

Escape route. - Dangerous?

Pleasurable. I'm taking you to a party.

I've got a taxi waiting.

Wouldn't it be safer to buy a horse?

subtitles by rick@peoplesguidetothecosmos.com