Original subtitles

Two.

Four.

303.

Steed?

Steed?

Nice of you to hurry over, Mrs. Peel.

I asked you to help me search, but this!

Well, somebody beat us to it, and you just missed him.

Must have taken the service stairs.

Oh, well.

Ted Murphy.

Found dead in an alleyway last night.

What was he working on?

That's the odd thing, just routine security.

He was keeping tabs on some scientific types.

Obviously he found something that wasn't routine.

I had hoped we might find a lead here.

Somebody else had the same idea.

That's strange.

What's that?

These golf cards.

Highly suspicious.

I was just wondering why he never seems to have played beyond the twelfth hole.

You see, they're all marked up to the twelfth, and then...

... smartly into the nineteenth.

And another thing, this receipt.

All this equipment was bought only a few days ago.

Poor Ted.

Never had a chance to swing his steel shafted handle to head balanced niblet.

He was shot with a rifle at long range.

Right down the fairway?

Golf. Something to do with golf, Isabella?

Perhaps this will help. It's custom made.

I don't know about the tall one,

but the stocky one is Adams, Dr. Peter Adams.

Scientist. One of those Murphy was keeping an eye on.

Come on, hurry up. We'll catch them.

Members only this weekend.

There's a tournament. Members only.

Oh, that's marvellous. I hate playing on a crowded course, don't you, Mrs. Peel?

You're a member? - Fully paid up as of yesterday.

You're a secretary?

Acting, unpaid.

The secretary's away. I'm Collins, the club professional.

Extraordinarily nice of you to come out and welcome us.

After you, Mrs. Peel.

Any sign of Dr. Adams?

No. - Good. Beat him to it, then.

Come along, tee off.

Nice, innocent way of striking up an acquaintanceship with Adams.

He'll be along in a moment.

We'll ask to make up a four.

Get off on the right foot.

On a nice, friendly...

We're due off at three o'clock, which is now.

Well, we'll just drive off, then.

Three o'clock. That's when we're supposed to leave.

If you'll kindly step aside.

Well, you got off on the right foot.

That was a really friendly basis.

They seem to be in a bit of a hurry.

Be a good idea if you inspected the course.

Played a hole or two.

Solo? - Much less conspicuous.

Don't lose them. I'm going to snoop around the club.

It's quite simple. Why not alter the playing schedules?

Well, it's not just a question of all the work involved altering the playing schedules, Colonel.

I mean, it's also a matter of... Mr. Steed.

Oh, hello, I was just limbering up.

Well, Collins...

Yes. Mr. Steed, Colonel Watson.

How do you do? - How do you do?

New member? - Yes.

Yes, I thought so, thought so.

Quick to spot an unfamiliar face, eh, Collins?

Oh, you know all your members? - Just about, yes.

Then you must know a friend of mine, Ted Murphy.

Shall we get on with your lesson, Colonel?

Oh yes, yes, of course, right away.

Now, now, now let's get the grip right first. Turn your left hand further up.

That's better. - I hope you like the club, Mr. Steed.

Colonel! - Oh yes, sorry.

Very much. You're demons for punctuality here, aren't you?

I tried to tee off a while back, a couple of chaps insisted they had it booked for 3:00.

Ah, not a bad one. You're still not pivoting enough on that back-swing.

Pivot your shoulders, and keep your head still.

Let's try again.

Quite a tricky course. - Tricky, old chap.

Eighth hole's an absolute bounder. Isn't that right, Collins?

An absolute bounder.

How about the thirteenth?

Why the thirteenth?

Superstitious, old chap?

They say it's a hard one to finish.

How long were they out of sight?

About a half a minute, no more. You moved that one.

You heard nothing?

I was the tiniest bit preoccupied.

Dodging...

... driver-less caddy cars. That was very good.

Losing Adams worries me most.

Well, how important was he, anyway?

Dr. Peter Adams? Number one at...

Cathabey...

Ah! Cathabey Hall, that doesn't count, it's all right.

Cathabey Hall.

Oh, that's the research centre for the missile guidance system.

And, it must be very valuable.

I'm doing very well. - Yes, worth a caddy car or two.

Right, you stay here.

Keep a steady hand.

I'll have another look around the staff room.

Alone at last, got you mid lie?

Waversham. Bud Waversham, club captain.

How do you do? - How do you do?

I've been waiting for the opportunity to welcome you to the club.

Now I know I'd press you for another drink, if I knew you were playing.

I never ask anyone to drink while driving.

You get it? While driving.

I say, it would be nice if we were paired against each other in the tournament, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't mind giving you a stroke or two, on or off the course.

You had a good round, did you?

I'll take these for you.

Treat them gently.

Then there's a nasty dog...

Then there's a nasty dog-leg at the fourth.

But you can... I say, dear lady, I'm not boring you am I?

Hm?

I said, I'm not boring you, am I?

Who is that man?

Frank Reed. As I was saying... - What does he do?

Some sort of technician, I think. Radio, or something.

Queer sort of cove. Keeps very much to himself.

Lost your ball, Mr. Steed?

On the contrary. Found it.

With a vengeance.

Someone forgot to shout "fore".

You seem to spend a great deal of time in here.

Looking for my clubs.

Those?

Oh, thank you.

You should have asked the caddy master. He'd have brought them to you.

Didn't want to bother him. - That's what he's here for.

Return this to its owner, please.

Shouldn't be hard to find.

A drive that could do this.

Should be someone with a strong arm.

Someone with a professional touch.

Steed... - Yes, I see him.

Plus I had a chance to study his golf equipment.

Fascinating. - Guaranteed to put a hole in one every time.

Do you think Adam's is dead?

Adams is far too valuable alive.

Could they be holding him somewhere?

Very likely. - But he's bound to be missed.

Well, they can't expect to cover up indefinitely, could they?

Well, let's ask Mr. Reed.

Oh, Mr. Reed? - Hm?

It's about Dr. Adams. - Adams?

Your golfing partner. - Why?

Well, the most extraordinary thing has happened, he seems to have disappeared.

Into thin air.

Disappeared? I left him just a few moments ago.

But a few moments ago you were in the bar. He wasn't with you.

Someone looking for me.

Ah, there you are, Frank. Care to put in a spot of practice before dinner?

Well, one thing's certain.

Whatever's going on, Adams is obviously a willing party to it.

Mustn't let him out of our sight for a moment.

What is it? - Dimes and no damsel.

Ah, Collins.

Just taking a peep at the playing order tomorrow, I see you haven't paired me off yet.

That's right.

Haven't found a partner for Dr. Adams yet either. - No.

It would be very convenient if I was playing Adams, teeing off at eleven.

I'm afraid you'll have to take the luck of the draw.

It would be very convenient, Collins.

You managed to... - Yes, I think so.

Well, Adams old boy, what's it to be then?

Are you sure we have time? - Of course there's time, relax.

For goodness sake stop looking at your watch.

Yes, I thought that birdie on the tenth today was quite a feat, don't you agree, old boy?

What was the outcome of your pick a stick?

Oh, very boring, I beat myself.

Adams is twitching like a rabbit.

Rabbits dear lady? Not a chance. Greenkeeper's too alert.

Forages them out before they can start their little family habits.

Oh no, no rabbits on this course.

Mind if I join you? - Not at all.

Privilege you know. Once I sit down, this becomes the captain's table.

Oh, the darn thing's happening again. - Again?

Same thing happened last night. About the same time, too.

First the darn thing dimmed, and flickered, and then they went out.

Only for a few moments, mind.

There.

Must be something on the blink at the local power station, I think.

Excuse us, Captain.

Jackson!

Over here.

Get a move on, we've got to hurry.

All right, Mr. Collins, what's going on?

What are you doing out here, and who else is out here with you?

That's what I'd like to know.

What brought you out here?

I heard a sound and came to investigate.

It's a caddy car. There's one of them missing, there must be a reason.

Involving Reed and Adams?

Wouldn't it be better if we pooled our resources? - Yes, all right, all right.

It is Reed. He keeps insisting that he be paired off with Dr. Adams.

And always at the same time.

Must tee off at eleven in the morning. Must tee off at three o'clock in the afternoon.

He even tried to bribe me.

So that he'd play Dr. Adams tomorrow.

And will he? - Only if he beats his opponent.

The luck of the draw.

The winner plays Dr. Adams at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

And what about... - Shh...

Stay here.

Steed.

Over here, Mrs Peel.

Very interesting.

There's been some sort of struggle, a fight.

And these footprints. - Are mine.

Where have you been? I've been halfway over the golf course.

Checking invisible men.

Now this fight of yours. - It was with Collins.

He's over there on the green.

Well, he was here, right here. Shot with a golf ball.

What? - With a badge on it.

And then I heard a sound.

And I saw a sort of one man tank, with a huge gun mounted on it.

Shot with a golf ball.

One man tank... Mrs. Peel are you sure... - Positive, Collins was here.

Perhaps he isn't dead. Perhaps he's recovered and returned to the office.

Perhaps I'd better go and see.

I'll check the clubhouse, oh, we'll take up the matter of that one man tank later.

Ah, Steed old chap, wondered where you got to.

Taking a quiet stroll around the course.

Around the course?

Oh, club rules old chap. No night stroll, the danger of damaging the greens.

Most irregular.

Still, I don't suppose you'll do it again, now that you know.

I've got the playing order for the tournament here, just going to pin it up.

I'm set against Waversham here. Hard luck old chap.

And you're up against Reed.

We tee off at eleven.

That'll make quite a change for you, playing someone other than Dr. Adams.

We're paired together. How's your game?

Good at Gleneagles. Fair to middling at Pebble Beach.

So we meet tomorrow.

Good evening, sir. - Good evening.

Would you care to step inside?

You can tell the boss that Dr. Adams is safely back.

No slip-ups.

Only Collins.

What? - Snooping about on the green.

Too close for comfort.

But you needn't worry. He won't be bothering us again.

You used that thing on him.

Much quieter. Much more effective.

But you killed him. The boss won't like that.

No alternative. - No, I suppose not.

Anyway, by tomorrow afternoon it'll all be over, thank goodness.

There's something I've wanted to ask you, have you seen the playing order, sir?

Yes, I'm playing Steed at eleven, then the winner plays Dr. Adams at three.

I hope you win, sir. - I'll win.

We don't know yet how good a player Steed is.

I don't care how good he is. I'll win.

You mean you'll win by hook or by crook.

Yes, if I have to.

Depend on it. I'll knock Steed out of the tournament.

What the devil is that doing here?

I told you to keep it out of sight.

It was out of sight.

I told him not to put those things up there.

What's the matter with us, jittery, on edge.

Never mind, tomorrow it will be plain sailing.

Yeah, - One more thing.

Should something go wrong tomorrow, and this fellow Steed should win,

Then he'll sign his own death warrant.

If he wins, you'll have to kill him.

Ahh, good morning! - Morning.

Well, very nice day for it.

Shall we begin? - Right away!

Right, gentlemen, you know the rules.

Mr. Steed?

Heads.

Heads it is.

Good start. Would you care to...

Magnanimous.

Low cunning. I like to assess the opposition as soon as possible.

Good shot!

Norwest by north.

I shall be playing a number three ball.

Equally good shot.

Equally? A shade better, don't you think?

Of course not me at my best, I have to loosen up a bit.

Bad luck, old chap, hit a soft spot. Be tricky playing that as it lies.

You must be in the rough, anyway.

Don't think so, lucky again.

I think it's over there. Do play through, old chap.

Fear not, for e'er this day is done, you shall have a hole in one.

I am your fairy godmother. - You?

Me. I want you to win this game.

Why? Have you got money on me?

I overheard Mr. Reed. He has to play Dr. Adams at three o'clock this afternoon.

In order to do that, he's got to beat you.

The way things are going, that doesn't look too likely.

This is mine. You must have over shot.

Probably into the bunker on the other side.

Do you mind, old boy?

Done in four, old boy.

But I never saw you... - Fair's fair, I didn't see you come out of that bunker.

That was an auspicious victory.

Reed thought it was suspicious.

It was a good idea of mine, don't you think?

Knock Reed out of the tournament, throw him off balance, and see what he does next.

I wonder what he will do next.

Further bulletins will be issued in due course.

In the meanwhile, no callers, and no sudden movements.

It was a near thing.

If it hadn't been for my trusty hat.

Really, it's the height of pessimism to have a hat lined with chain mail.

Well, we solved the problem of what Mr. Reed would do next.

Ah!

Any further amusing speculations?

Yup, one.

This. I found it in the staff office.

Along with a very large telescope.

Look. Here's Orion, here's Leo.

And here is a star that doesn't exist.

It's not marked on any other charts.

New star? - Possibly.

I put through a call to Greenwich Observatory. They should know.

How are you, old chap?

I heard about that nasty little accident of yours.

Still haven't discovered the darn fool that drove off without shouting "fore".

Don't worry about me, Colonel, I'm on the mend.

Well, just the same, bad luck.

Due to play Adams this afternoon, aren't you?

Yes. - Darn bad luck.

What? - Well, scratch from the contest of course.

I mean, can't expect to give it your best when you... - I'm not scratching, I'm itching to play.

We can't allow that, old chap.

I mean, after a nasty crack on the head like that, you really...

I'm perfectly fit. I'll play. I'll just rest here, conserve my strength for the tee up.

As you say, old man. That's darn courageous of you.

Have it your own way.

My game against Adams seems to concern quite a lot of people.

2:55. He's going to be late.

Relax. If he is, he forfeits the game.

Suppose the game drags.

Suppose we don't reach the thirteenth until after 4:00.

You'll be there. Just play your usual game.

You'll be there dead on 4:00.

And Steed?

When you get to the twelfth hole, make sure he putts down first.

Then he won't bother you again.

For you, Mrs. Peel. From Greenwich Observatory.

Professor Minley. - Mrs. Peel, we've got the answer to your question.

That star you pointed out, quite right, it isn't on any of the official charts.

Neither is it a new star.

Actually it's Vostik 2. - Vostik 2?

Yes, it's the latest satellite in orbit.

Of course the Americans are much more advanced in this field.

Vostik 2 could only handle one channel. - Channel? What sort of channel?

Why, television of course. It's a communications satellite.

Don't forget what I told you. The twelfth hole.

Dr. Adams, we get to play at last.

At last? - Well, you are rather an elusive fellow, you know.

Tails. - Would you like to go first?

Yes. - Got you worried, eh? The game ahead.

Of course it appeared on that chart because at the moment it is in orbit over this country,

and has been for the past month. Today is the last day though.

I'm in Surrey at the moment. What time will the satellite be over today?

Passed over Surrey at 12:00, and it's due next at 4:00 this afternoon.

And that's its final orbit.

They start play at three, to be in position at four.

Sorry, what was that?

Professor, if I wanted to use this satellite, what would I need?

Television transmission equipment, and full cooperation from the Vostik technicians.

Thank you, Professor.

That puts you one up.

Still, things may change, round about the thirteenth.

Wait.

Had to bring her along. She was going to spoil everything.

Well, well, welcome Mrs. Peel. Do sit down.

No, no, I'm afraid that seat's already occupied.

Poor Mr. Collins, you know. Haven't been able to dispose of him yet.

How's Jackson doing, sir?

Up periscope.

Oh, yes, an admirable job.

Let's pull your chair a little closer, Mrs. Peel, so you can see.

Just over there. On the twelfth green.

Now what do you see? - Jackson.

And what is he doing? - He's putting something into the cup.

Yes, indeed he is. Indeed he is.

Cheerful little device. A land mine, very sensitive.

The weight of an ordinary golf ball will set it off.

And, coming towards the twelfth, is...

Adams will see to it that Steed putts down first, of course, and then...

I'm afraid it will damage the greens considerably.

Admirable shot.

It won't be long, now.

Well, Mrs. Peel, how do you like our little setup?

Am I supposed to like it?

Admire then. Perfect, hm?

Not only can Dr. Adams tell his secrets, he can actually show how to apply them in the minutest detail.

Beamed across the world by Vostik 2.

Like standing side by side in the same laboratory, hm?

Ah, good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Is Dr. Adams ready?

There will be a delay.

Delay? You know the satellite moves out of orbit within an hour.

This is our last chance to communicate direct.

Don't worry. It'll only be a slight delay.

Good-bye Mr. Steed.

Right. Down periscope.

Dr. Adams will be here in a few moments.

That was a close one, wasn't it?

We are very anxious to see Dr. Adams again.

Our engineers need some clarification on the diagrams he gave us last time.

Here's Dr. Adams now, sir.

Come in, Doctor, we're waiting for you.

Look out! Behind you!

Fore!

Wrong stick.

I'm on your side.

How about finishing the game.

What's your handicap?

I thought you said it could be done in one.

It can. Give me a chance.

I got a date lined up.

Well, you've had plenty of practice.

It's a very tricky procedure.

It's a question of the wrist action.

Lovely. - That's the secret.

subtitles: rick@peoplesguidetothecosmos.com