Original subtitles

Come on. Come on.

Kill him.

Mrs. Peel!

Mrs. Peel! Come along. No time for nodding off.

Yes, it is.

Did it have to be the middle of the night, Steed?

Night? It's morning! Bright, new morning.

Best part of the day.

The dew is pearly.

The morning chorus is in full throat.

And everyone in their right minds are still asleep.

Where are we anyway?

The country residence of Sir Clive Todd.

Todd. The minister for promotion... - His speeches aren't that bad.

Good morning, sir, madam.

Good morning.

My name is John Steed and this is Mrs. Peel. We're expected.

Quite so. Will you come in please.

May I?

Oh, excuse me, I have been assisting.

I will inform the gentlemen you are here. - Thank-you.

Steed, you did wake me up a few minutes ago.

There is a touch of fantasy about it all isn't there?

Toy soldiers and all that.

Is this some kind of fancy dress party? - You might call it that.

Last night in Whitehall.

This is an ideal little costume for lurking around government buildings in peacetime.

This is exactly how he broke in. - Who broke in?

The burglar, the man who wore this. You'll see him in a minute, he's in...

We will see you now, sir. - Thank you.

How is he, Doctor?

He's lucky, the bullet just missed his brain.

Come this way, please.

You've come to see... - Our burglar.

I still don't understand why we're needed at Sir Clive Todd's house.

Where else?

But this is... - Sir Clive Todd.

Caught with his own portcullis down. - A minister of the crown.

And a burglar.

Something of an all rounder.

Really, Steed.

Your levity at a time like this... Sorry, Sir Jeremy.

It must have been quite a shock to find that Sir Clive was a member of another gang.

Apart from your own gang, that is.

The whole idea is preposterous, incredible. - But undeniable.

There's no doubt about that.

Sir Clive and some persons unknown did manage to break into that government strong room last night.

During the course of the raid, which was entirely successful by the way,

Sir Clive managed to get himself shot.

But not killed.

He'll pull through.

Which is more than can be said for the government at this moment.

The Prime Minister's ordered complete secrecy. That's why Sir Clive was brought to his own home.

He will remain here.

And we will issue a simple announcement to the press.

A hunting accident.

A checkup, in the fullest sense.

I leave the rest to you. The Prime Minister is waiting for me.

Steed. Mrs. Peel.

I don't like the way he scuttled out. Makes me feel like a sinking ship.

Well, you may be right at that,

if this case isn't broken.

Good morning.

Do you suppose the Prime Minister would mind if you let me in on the secret?

I don't suppose he would. It's state security.

It's been riddled with a series of raids over the past few months.

Well, just like last night's. Boldly conceived. Superbly executed.

Behind them there must be a brilliant planner at work.

A genius.

A diabolical mastermind. - Sir Clive?

He's just a pawn in the game.

The man we're after is the king.

Whoever he is.

Has anyone ever remarked on the astonishing resemblance

between yourself and Florence Nightingale?

Excellent, Mrs. Peel.

Efficient, thorough, to the point, most excellent.

Thank you, Doctor.

I'm happy to have our patient in your hands.

but I would remove the nail varnish.

How are you?

Where is this place? - This is your home.

And you? - Your nurse.

I'm thirsty.

I've been in an accident.

Yes.

What sort of accident?

You were shot.

It happened while you were breaking into a strongroom.

Breaking in?

That's right, Sir Clive. Breaking in.

What on earth are you talking about?

What did you call me? - Sir Clive.

Sir Clive? Sir?

Title?

Breaking in?

Amnesia.

Eh?

Amnesia.

Sir Clive.

He came around for a few minutes.

Doesn't appear to remember anything.

Concussion?

I doubt it. Doesn't even seem to remember his own name.

Bluffing?

That's your problem, Mr. Steed.

I'm just the nurse around here, remember?

Better chat to the old boy. Nothing here.

What were you hoping to find? - At the risk of ribald laughter, clues.

What kind of clues?

I don't think that should concern you. Mrs. Peel. You're only the nurse here, remember?

I'm sorry, it's just a complete blank.

You do feel up to talking? - Yes, I want to help all I can.

Let's start with the robbery.

Who planned it? You? - Robbery?

Was it your first, or had you taken part in others?

There's some mistake. I don't know anything about any robberies.

I manufacture computers.

You did, before you went into politics.

Yes, l'm in politics.

Does my wife know I'm here?

You've been a widower for five years.

Oh, yes, of course, Kate's dead.

Divinia, my daughter... of course, south of France.

Yes sir?

Divinia on holiday, in France.

Then you remember that?

What? - About your daughter.

Divinia.

Who is Divinia?

Sounds like amnesia.

He could be bluffing. He's one of smartest minds in Westminster.

Then we may be in for an interesting challenge.

Mr. Steed? - Yes.

Campbell, Dr. Fergus Campbell. Security told me to...

Oh, that's alright. This is Mrs. Peel.

Security seemed to think that I...

that a psychiatrist... - A psychiatrist was my suggestion.

Indeed.

Sir Clive. Excuse me.

There's nothing feigned.

No bluff about his condition. Postoperative shock.

General physical and mental disorientation and the effect of the anaesthetic's not fully worn off.

Quite a hangover, one way or another.

Your facetiousness, Mr. Steed, covers an edgy temperament.

In fact I'd say your nerves mostly jangle like wires in the wind.

A few notes on the patient who matters.

Hmm, an impressive subject.

Do you mind telling me why I've been singled out for this job?

He's an official secret and I imagine you're still covered by the act.

You are a service psychiatrist, aren't you?

By the way, what did you manage to straighten out in the wavy navy?

The sea sick.

Traces of an incipient inferiority complex. I should watch it.

Has he said much so far?

No, not so far.

Hello!

I'm going to scream in a moment. - Oh, dear, I hope not.

Loud, and I have excellent lungs. - I can believe it.

Enough to wake the dead. - I'm John Steed.

I'm here on business, and I'm not going to harm you.

Oh, I'm done.

Well, why were you searching my father's study?

Your father?

Yes, his papers were all over the floor, everything was in an uproar...

So you're Divinia? - Yes, of course.

But you're supposed to be on holiday.

Well, I was, wasn't I?

South of France, naturally.

But l got bored on the beach

so I jumped into a taxi, and took the next plane home.

My clothes are following.

Oh, yes...

Now Miss Todd... - Divinia.

Or Daffy. Take your pick. - Divinia.

You know, that was a super tackle you made.

Scrum half. - Wing three-quarter.

Now Divinia, your father...

Oh yes, where is Daddy, by the way?

He's in bed, resting.

Tell me, was he plastered?

No.

Well, what has become of him then?

I'm afraid I can't explain.

Oh, a secret?

Yes.

You might be able to help. Your father's suffered a temporary loss of memory.

He'll be all right in a few days,

but until then... - Master spy might flee the country.

Exactly.

And what exactly can l do?

We've had great difficulty in pinpointing your father's movements last night.

Have you tried Allenson Johnson?

Well, Daddy spends a lot of evenings with him. - An opposition MP?

An opposition at chess. They're old pals.

Anyway, surely it's all in the diary. - The diary?

Well, I looked, I didn't.... - No, you wouldn't.

Daddy's little secret.

He thinks that even I don't know.

You know I wouldn't have screamed. I'd just have accepted my fate.

I'll bare that in mind.

There's a secret drawer. I can't always work it.

Daddy's a child about gadgets. Yes, like that Chinese puzzle.

Looks like a St. Bernard's dog collar.

No, you pass circles through squares.

There. It's very difficult, and a ghastly bore.

He certainly seems to enjoy exercising his mind.

He's like those fiends who go on stimulating their muscles into old age.

Actually, he's a very rare politician.

He really has a high IQ. High enough to belong to RANSACK.

RANSACK? - Yes, it's a club for eggheads.

They wade through test papers and problems just for fun.

No!

Acid, poured in through the lock.

Now what was that?

Daddy's diary.

Sir Clive?

Your memory is clouding, isn't it?

You can't remember anything.

Do you recall what happened?

Do you?

Or is it all lost beyond recall?

Is it?

Is it?

Any luck? - No sign of a breakthrough.

He can't remember anything.

I don't think he ever will.

When you see Sir Johnston, go carefully, Steed.

If he didn't meet with Sir Clive last night, then drop the subject and back out.

Allenson Johnston is a good sort of friend and all that,

but if our opponents get wind of this business before you find an explanation,

there'd be a bigger explosion than ever Guy Fox could've caused.

Mr. Steed?

Yes. - I'm sorry you've been kept waiting.

Minister Sir Johnston's been interviewing a constituent. What did you want to see him about?

It's a personal matter. I'm a friend of Sir Clive Todd.

Oh.

I believe that he was with Sir Clive last night. - Well, that's right, they left the house together.

I expect he's through with the constituent by now.

Did you know the person who came to see him?

Steed?

I think we might be getting somewhere.

He's talking. Not making much sense so far, but he is talking.

Get Campbell, will you?

Dr Campbell?

Leeming, Desmond Leeming. - I'm John Steed.

I dropped by to enquire about Sir Clive.

So did I. Are you a friend of his?

Well, in a manner of speaking.

We have a strong interest in Sir Clive's well-being.

And when we read about the accident...

''We?''

Professor Spenser, myself, and one or two other interested people.

We run a little organization. Strictly a hobby, you understand.

It's an academic exercise.

Sir Clive was one of our star members.

Mr. Leeming, what is this organization?

RANSACK. Perhaps you've heard of it?

l have indeed.

I'm an old friend of Sir Clive's. He'd been trying to get me to join for ages.

I must say he made it sound a very attractive proposition.

You wish to become a member? - Right away, if possible.

Well, if Sir Clive has told you about it, I take it you understand the object of RANSACK.

Confirming one's superior intelligence.

Honing the mind, Mr. Steed. Bending it, stretching it.

Burrowing down into the mass of neglected cells, on a community basis.

A kind of scrambling of eggheads.

Yes, if you like.

I have some entry papers with me if you care to complete them.

No cheating, now. - Of course not.

Our minimum entry is an IQ rating of at least 145.

So, if Sir Clive has recommended you, we could use another keen mind, Mr. Steed.

Thank you.

I better be running along.

I'm glad to hear Sir Clive is doing so well, Doctor.

And Dr. Campbell, you'll let me know if there's a change for the worse.

If you should have to resort to drugs.

Goodbye Mr. Steed. - Goodbye and thank you.

Mrs. Peel seems to think that the old boy is going to make some sense now.

Paper.

Pencil.

Clock.

Time.

Night.

Sleep.

Gun. - Kill him!

Kill him?

Did I say that? - Yes, but who said it when you heard it last?

Was it when you were shot? - I don't know.

Alright, let's try some more.

Let me try a word.

RANSACK.

RANSACK.

What does it mean to you, Sir Clive?

You know that word.

RANSACK.

It's important, isn't it?

Think of RANSACK.

Think.

You killed him!

Why? - I don't know.

I don't know why.

I don't know, Steed.

I don't know what made me do it.

Just can't remember,

but I did do it.

You said I did.

There's no doubt about it. It was a lethal injection.

But why, why?

I examined him this morning.

I can remember that.

Then I left him with a woman, a nurse.

Mrs. Peel? - That's right.

Then I came back in here.

I stood over there.

Then someone came to fetch me.

That was me. - Was it?

I went back into his room,

I prepared an injection...

And then, then...

It's no good, Steed.

From there it's just a blank, a complete blank.

Very convenient.

I swear to you, I just don't remember.

You've got so far,

now the rest.

Self analysis, Doctor. - I must have made a mistake.

There must have been something else on my mind when I prepared that drug.

Killing was on your mind.

Now why should you want to kill him?

Who told you to do it? - I had no inclination to end his life.

No conscious inclination, so it had to be an error of judgement.

You've done hundreds of injections. You've never killed a patient before.

No, I know.

l've tried to rationalize, searched for compulsive reasons...

Yes.

I don't know.

No, it's stupid. - Try me.

Compulsive reasons.

That seems to ring a bell somewhere. Compulsive.

As though someone had told me, commanded me.

As though someone had commanded you to kill Sir Clive?

It's just not possible.

Who have you met today? - No one.

I haven't been outside the house all day. I've met no one except...

Except Desmond Leeming from the RANSACK organization.

Now does that ring a bell to you? RANSACK?

It meant something to Sir Clive and it means something to you, too.

Well, why not? After all, I'm a member of RANSACK myself.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Lobbying?

Don't have to. The state of the nation suits me very well.

Did you see Leeming?

And Professor Spencer.

How's your Intelligence Quotient? - Well above average.

Better than mine? - Roughly the same.

But that's hardly surprising since I also did your papers for you.

So they accepted you? - Better than that, I got a job there.

It appears that Professor Spencer requires a secretary.

Someone with charm, intelligence, discretion.

I start at the school tomorrow.

School?

They run their courses at a boarding school near Oxford.

The Dorrington Dean academy for young ladies. - Young ladies.

The girls are on holiday.

Brace, take a point of aim.

Watch those upper limbs.

And... loose!

Hello. - How do you do?

You come to enlist?

I didn't realize archery was part of the program.

I'm not one of the RANSACK mob, if that's what you think.

Know something about toxopholie?

Eh?

Archery. - I play darts.

Holly Trent's my name.

John Steed.

I'm school games mistress, left as custodian during the holidays.

Watch out. I lure the intelligentsia from their course whenever I get the chance.

You seem to have raised a fine body of yeomen.

Oh, they're the school employees, but maybe I'll have better luck with you.

Care to have a go right now?

Well, I... - Good.

Margery.

We'll loose at the same target. Ready?

Gold.

Mistress...

It's very distracting, having people...

So was that distracting, you ruined his aim!

Oh, it's you, Steed. You better come with me.

Always breaking windows at school, I was.

A refreshing change from the more gamey type of games mistress.

Oh, Holly's all right, but she can be a bit of a menace.

Although we encourage a certain amount of exercise for our fitter members,

we prefer them to be mentally, rather than physically, overactive.

It's just a question of applying an algebraic principle.

Surely you mean X equals Y to the power of 3 minus 10, don't you?

It is in your paper...

...calculatedly phonetically. He didn't allow for the Liverpool sound.

so you see... - It's all a matter of Etymological construction.

I mean, now take a word like ''yoghurt'' for example.

I'll introduce you to Professor Spencer first.

It's a Norse word and to me the basis of the Norse language.

Professor, this is Mr. Steed.

IQ 152.

Delighted you have volunteered to give us your time, Mr. Steed.

We may well push your rating up after a few days here.

We will lift them up by mental agility by others. As agile...

Well, you're certainly agile.

The brain needs nourishment. More so when you get to my age.

Try it. - I will, sometime.

You can feel the blood circulating like a tide washing through caves.

Refreshing, rejuvenating cells.

Ah, Mrs. Peel, a new addition to the course.

Mr. Steed. Will you take care of him?

Certainly.

Come with me, Mr. Steed. There's just some additional details I need to check with you.

Just for the record, you understand. We like to keep our files up-to-date.

So many new members, it's always a problem.

There will be another test paper tomorrow. - Oh, dear.

Here are the answers.

Come in.

Here's your cocoa.

And if you're very good, I'll tell you a bedtime story.

I brought my own night cap even if it does corrode my grey matter.

You can always try standing on your head.

You can feel the blood circulating, I know.

What did you find at the office? - Nothing.

The professor's genuine. The whole setup seems seems perfectly innocent.

On the face of it, any interest in crime would be purely academic.

A mating of master minds.

And we still have to find the master mind. - The best brain of all.

Oh, and speaking of brains, it was just as well you passed me a few of the answers.

That exam was a sweat. Did I make a fair showing?

You scored under 100.

l added 60 on, and now you're brilliant.

Genius level.

Good morning, Mr. Steed. - Good morning, Miss Holly.

You're up bright and early. - Up with the lark.

Come to get limbered up?

A few modest press-ups, nothing too strenuous.

Couldn't you sleep? - Like a top.

Pills? - Sleep of the just.

I thought you ran a mile from this sort of thing.

No, I don't mind a spot of PT before breakfast.

You'll find some gym shoes in that cupboard over there.

Thank you very much.

What was it all about last night?

I tried to get in but the door was locked against latecomers.

What do you mean, what was it all about?

Don't tell me you were sleepwalking.

You went with the others. - Where?

You all came in here and watched a film show in the middle of the night.

Are you all right, Steed?

I never left my bed last night.

What?

Good morning everyone.

Before we start today's activities, I have an announcement to make.

As you know usually at RANSACK we have a discussion hour between 6 and 7.

Tonight we have a special event in store.

Will you all please meet in this gym at 6.

Mr. Steed! Mr. Steed, are you all right?

I nearly joined good King Harold, 1066 and all that.

That stupid gardener.

We shifted the butts down this end because of the way the wind was blowing.

I told him to put back the sign.

Why didn't you go with the others?

Have you seen them?

They went off in the school mini bus half an hour ago.

But we were supposed to meet in the gym at 6.

Didn't you get the message? They changed the time to half past five.

Do you know where they've gone? - I'm afraid not.

Why don't you ask Professor Spencer.

Slipped up, did you, Mr. Steed? - Where did they go?

Lemmy has taken them off to do outdoor IQ tests.

In the dark? - A sort of twilight country run.

I didn't attend the meeting the previous night, so they made sure missed a trip to the seaside.

We didn't go near the seaside.

We spent the evening in the forest, walking on leaves.

You were out all night.

Hey!

Sand?

But we weren't on a beach.

We just ambled about answering questions and...

and picking up fir cones.

Look.

This doesn't grow on trees.

An arrow, and not the kind they gayly loose off on the school grounds.

The arrow.

The guided missile.

There's a base about 60 miles from here.

On the coast.

Major? Steed here.

Has anything been happening in your part of the world, anything unusual?

What?

Mr. Steed! - Hold on.

Miss Holly.

I wondered if I might I lure you away from pure brain work to something more physical?

More...

A walk, down to the river, later on.

Oh, oh, l'd be delighted.

Excuse me, an old auntie of mine. She worries about my socks.

Socks? - Who's darning them.

I see. Well, don't worry.

I'll talk to you later on. - Yes.

Major?

Give me that again.

Last night?

I see.

I heard it straight from the horse's mouth. The possible successor to Polaris.

Gone, snatched, just like that! - How?

The people at Naval security know how the thieves got out, but how they got in...

Look, do you mind? It's like watching a game of perpendicular tennis.

A marvellous sensation.

The Naval base was surrounded by an electrified wire.

Weightless, like an astronaut.

The wire wasn't cut, and even if it had been, alarms would have blasted off.

Soaring up, falling down.

Ladders, they must have used long ladders.

That would have blasted the alarms off too.

Before you start blasting off again,

last night, did the group split up?

Did by any chance some of them start wandering away?

I told you, it was all perfectly simple.

We went on a moonlight ramble and we all stayed together.

If anything funny had been going on, you don't think I would have known?

However, the fact remains, the naval base was broken into.

They might have used a helicopter. Wee...

Someone would have heard.

It's impossible then.

How else could anyone jump over...

a fifteen foot live wire?

Do you know what time it is? - I'm not being social, Major.

It's no good, Steed. I've tried and tried to think, I just can't remember.

That's not why I'm here, Dr. Campbell.

I want your advice, as a psychologist.

You use hypnosis as part of your work. - Frequently, but...

Do you find one particular kind of person more susceptible than another?

We are all susceptible. It's the approach that varies, that's all.

Explain that.

Well, suppose...

Suppose that I was to say right now that I was going to hypnotize you.

You'd resist no doubt, you'd make difficulties.

So if I were to hypnotize you, I'd have to do it without your knowledge.

Take me off guard. How would you do that?

There are many ways.

The easiest would be to get you to take a sedative.

Relax you. - Put me to sleep in fact.

or wait until I was asleep.

That would be ideal.

The brain is more receptive when relaxed.

I have to get back.

As you dress, you feel your limbs completely relaxed, relaxed.

It's a very pleasant feeling, like being asleep.

But you're out of bed and on your feet.

And you're going down to the gymnasium.

You're going to the gymnasium.

The problem we are about to solve

is how to steal a plane from this airfield.

The air field is a top security establishment

with armed troops, an outer perimeter of barbed wire,

a regular picket system.

This picket system is broken down into four regular patrols.

The first commencing at dusk,

and thereafter continuing until daybreak.

Now then, may I have suggestions from the floor, please.

A fire to create a diversion.

Excellent.

And if the fire were to be placed around the guard's quarters.

Good thinking. We'll note that.

Might I make another suggestion?

By all means, Mr. Steed.

Cut the water supply outside the airfield.

That would add to the general confusion.

The best idea yet, Mr. Steed..

...the problem with this airfield.

Is the final plan fully understood by everyone?

Yes. - Good.

You will all go back to bed.

And in one hour you will hear me tell you to get up.

Our meeting point will be the archery range in one hour.

Steed's a fake.

What do you mean? - He couldn't have been under.

I checked the room and found the radio disconnected again.

So it wasn't an accident he failed to join in the night before last.

Disregard the previous instruction.

Do not, I repeat, do not go to the rendezvous I gave you.

Report instead to the gymnasium.

Report to the...

Report to the gymnasium.

Report instead...

There has been a change of plans.

The exercise arranged for tonight has been cancelled.

I have discovered a spy in our midst.

I refer to John Steed.

Who is now waiting for us to gather at the archery range.

So we have a new problem for our minds to grapple with.

Steed must be killed,

in such a way so that no blame may attach to anyone.

Lt. Hardcastle.

Steed has a car.

There's an unfenced road by the river.

It would mean rendering him unconscious first.

The police might detect it.

Wouldn't it be simpler to deal with Steed where he is right now.

Carry on, Mrs. Peel.

He's in the archery range.

Why not get one of Miss Trent's bows, and kill him with an arrow?

First class.

When he's found, it can be claimed he wandered in front of the targets.

That's an idea we can adopt.

Without wasting any more time, the question is, who will do it?

I've done some archery.

Let me kill Steed.

Well, Mrs. Peel?

Steed is dead.

You should have burned your colleague's note.

A bad mistake, Mrs. Peel. Very bad.

The projection.

Get the girl!

Miss Holly!

The master mind.

Steed.

Are you all right? - Yes.

Are you?

You know, it was a marvellous idea, getting all those great minds together.

applying them to the common task.

Yes, think what they might have done with my income tax returns.

Still, I came out of it with something, an IQ at genius level.

You are a genius...

at cribbing.

Subtitles by rick@peoplesguidetothecosmos.com