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This programme contains
strong language
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00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,320
Aw, for fuck's sake!
3
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WATER GUSHES
4
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,920
SHE YELLS
5
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,960
God! Argh.
6
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,000
Fuck.
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SHE GROANS
8
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What are you doing on the floor?
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Ah, watch!
10
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Shit!
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Fuck it!
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You all right?
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00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,960
Me da drove us halfway round
the country to buy that shitty
14
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,000
old fridge, which he
found on DoneDeal for 18 euros.
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00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,000
He was so proud of it.
You couldn't help but think of him
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00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,680
every time you went to make a
sandwich.
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God, I went right on my hole.
18
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,880
Little did he know it would
outlive him.
19
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,320
Mam said buying a brand-new one
20
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would be like shitting on
Da's grave,
21
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,760
so we're off to relive the journey
he took us on,
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in search of another
old bargain fridge instead.
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Aw, fuck me.
24
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,640
What happened your eye?
25
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,440
I got in a fight outside
Centra last night.
26
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,360
He got one in, I got two.
Boom, boom, boom!
27
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,520
And you think he's cool?
28
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,000
Where you going?
Picking up a fridge in Skibbereen.
29
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,880
C-Can I go with you?
30
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,040
No. Come on, Conor, we're going.
31
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,840
We were meant to be hanging
out for the day.
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00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,640
What difference does it make
if he comes?
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00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,800
I want it to be a family road trip,
like last time.
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Jock pretty much is family.
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Not my family.
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Please?
37
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,840
Come on, then!
38
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,240
Happy? Yeah!
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00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,600
Oh... Can I go in the front?
No, Conor's in the front.
40
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,920
Oh, come on. This car's fuckin'
tiny. I'll get leg cramps
41
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,760
if I go in the back.
42
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,400
I don't mind! I'm happy in the back!
43
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,960
Mam, put your seat forward a bit,
will you?
44
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,800
Now, I'll be the navigator so you
can just concentrate on the driving,
45
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,280
have a nice easy journey, maybe put
on the radio or something,
46
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,560
kick back. Gimme the map.
47
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,880
Would you relax?
I've got a built-in compass.
48
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,200
Now, eat some Weetabix,
49
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,440
north, south, now eat some
Weetabix...
50
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,640
West? Come on, quit dilly-dallying.
51
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,680
Mam has never really warmed to Jock.
52
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,160
I think it's because she hasn't had
a chance to really get to know him.
53
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,120
Now that they're both stuck in a
small, confined space,
54
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,760
it's the perfect opportunity.
55
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,840
What are you doing
scribbling on the map?
56
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,840
Oh, they're lyrics.
I'm writing a song.
57
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,200
Do ya wanna hear it?
58
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,240
No, thanks.
59
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,520
All right, all right, I'll sing it,
but it's not finished yet
60
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,120
so don't be too critical. I said...
Mm-mm-mm.
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Eh, give us a note, there, Conor,
will ya?
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00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,960
Right, eh, baritone?
63
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,000
Eh, yeah.
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00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,600
Ah...
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BOTH SINGING A LOW NOTE
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00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,600
A one, a two, a one, two, three.
67
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,640
# We're driving in the car
with Ma Ma Mairead
68
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,640
# We're going really far
me and Ma Ma Mairead
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00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,560
# There's no one who's as
kind as Ma Ma Mairead
70
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,480
# We're having a great time
me and Ma Ma Mairead
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00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,000
# Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma
ma ma ma ma
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# Mairead ah
Wow wow wow
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00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,640
Come on and sing it!
74
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,840
# Ma Ma Mairead, Ma Ma Mairead... #
75
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,120
That's enough now.
76
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,400
# Says Ma Ma Mairead
Ma Ma Mairead... #
77
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,520
Fuck's sake.
78
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,080
Come on, give it a go.
79
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,240
Mam finds it difficult to enjoy
herself.
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00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,480
It's not something that
comes natural to her.
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00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,640
# Ma Ma Mairead
Ma Ma Mairead
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# Ma Ma Mairead
Ma Ma Mairead... #
83
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,200
That's lovely!
84
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,080
# Ma Ma Mairead
Ma Ma Mairead
85
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,960
# Ma Ma Mairead
Ma Ma Mairead
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00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,920
# We're driving in the car with
Ma Ma Mairead
87
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,640
# We're going really far with
Ma Ma Mairead
88
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,640
# Ma ma ma ma
ma ma ma ma... #
89
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,080
Watch out!
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00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,400
BANG
91
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,520
WHat you scream for?!
92
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,760
There was a giant pothole.
93
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,480
I was going to miss it but your
screaming drove me straight into it.
94
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,920
I made you drive into it?
95
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,840
Well, what did I do, grab the
steering wheel or someting?
96
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:28,280
I think you'll find in a court of
law, the person in control of
97
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,280
the vehicle is to blame.
98
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,720
He has a point.
99
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,800
We're not in a court of law,
and it was your fault.
100
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,640
If we weren't singing
that stupid song,
101
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,320
we both would have been paying
attention to the road.
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00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,560
I thought we were having
a good time.
103
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,560
Fuck's sake.
104
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,120
Wasn't even fully bald.
105
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,280
Let's get this changed.
106
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,120
Conor, give me a
hand with the spare.
107
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,120
Where's the jack?
108
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,040
Jock, check the front for the jack.
109
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,360
It's not there. Are you sure?
110
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,960
Yeah, it's not fucking there.
111
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,520
Will we try and drive to a petrol
station with the flat?
112
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,640
ENGINE REVS
113
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,120
Bollocks!
114
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,240
98% coverage, me hole.
115
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,080
How far are we from Skibbereen?
116
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,120
Not far. We just passed through
Bedfordshire a few miles back.
117
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,160
Bedfordshire?
118
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,440
You're on the England page,
you fuckin' tool!
119
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,960
We're miles away from anywhere.
120
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,520
You carry a lot of stress around
with you, you know that?
121
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,880
I'm starting to feel stressed
just being near ya,
122
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,000
I can't imagine what
it's like inside your head.
123
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,880
Do you know the reason
for that stress?
124
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,000
Is it your period?
125
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,040
Do you want another black eye?
126
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,600
Mam!
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Conor, please tell me yer not
trying to lift the fucking car.
128
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,920
No, I'm checkin' de weight.
129
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,920
I have a plan.
130
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,360
In fairness to yer son,
he can have moments of genius.
131
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,400
This had got to be the most retarded
thing I've seen in me entire life.
132
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,840
You say dat about everythin' we do.
133
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,080
That's cos ya keep breakin'
yer own record.
134
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,400
How's that?
It's not going to work.
135
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,400
The car's about half a tonne,
and you weigh about eight stone.
136
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,240
How many stones in half a tonne?
137
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,600
I don't know but not eight.
138
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,240
Jock, get up here, will ya?
139
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,760
It's workin'!
140
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,640
Put that block under
to stop it going down.
141
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:53,760
It's not high enough.
142
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,400
We need somethin' heavy.
143
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:04,880
I'm not heavy!
144
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,280
You're heavier than Conor.
He's only a small little fella.
145
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,400
Swap and he can shove
the block under the car.
146
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,960
Do ya want this fridge or not?
147
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,760
Dis is kind of fun, isn't it?
148
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,280
Give me more room.
I'm already on de edge.
149
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,320
Here, you can hold on
to me for balance.
150
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,360
You need to bounce a little.
On three.
151
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,960
One, two, three... Bounce.
152
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,840
One, two, three... Bounce.
153
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,480
One, two, three... Bounce.
154
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,600
Nearly there. One, two...
155
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,720
Your rhythm is all off, I'll lead.
156
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,080
My rhythm is perfect.
157
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,200
One, two, three... Bounce.
158
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,280
One, two, three... Bounce.
159
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,040
One, two, three... Bounce.
160
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,080
That's it, we did it!
161
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,160
Fair play to ya,
I did not think that would work.
162
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THEY SCREAM
163
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ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
164
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,920
Are you OK?
165
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,960
THEY SCREAM
166
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,960
What?
167
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,480
It's electric!
168
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,840
Get something rubber and help.
169
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,600
What the fuck is this?
It's a rubber.
170
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,360
I know what it is.
Why do you have one?
171
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,200
Use your fucking trainers.
172
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,320
HE SCREAMS
173
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,240
What the fuck is this?
Where'd you get that?
174
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,160
MOBILE DINGS
175
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,880
Who's that?
176
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,600
Just a girl from school.
177
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,000
A girl FRIEND?
178
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,160
Never going to happen.
179
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,080
Shut up, Jock. She's been tryin' to
get with him for the past month
180
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,800
but yer son is frigid.
181
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,200
I'm not frigid, I'm shy!
182
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,160
What's the fuckin' difference?
Girls don't like frigid guys.
183
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,440
Isn't that right, Mairead?
184
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,040
They don't like randy little
pricks like you, either!
185
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,400
You say randy like it's a bad ting.
186
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,840
So is Sergeant Healy not randy?
187
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,200
How the fuck should I know?
188
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,920
If you were to guess though, out
of 10, how randy would ya say he is?
189
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,400
Shut up.
190
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,120
I'd say I'm about a nine on de
randy scale.
191
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,000
You're probably about a one.
192
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,160
How randy are you, Mairead?
193
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,160
Stop asking Mam how randy she is!
194
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,400
I'm just curious if being
frigid runs in the family.
195
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,600
I'm not fucking frigid
and neither is Mam.
196
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,600
Do you like this girl?
197
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,120
What's her name?
198
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,320
Linda.
199
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,000
She's smart, pretty...
200
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,920
You've got lovely eyes.
201
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,200
..funny.
202
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,920
Boop! Oh, you think I'm cute? Yeah.
203
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,240
I love you.
204
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,160
Can't fault her, to be honest.
205
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,000
She's a bit goofy.
206
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,400
No, she isn't, just cos she's not
putting on a show de whole
207
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,640
time like most girls.
208
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,600
There's no bullshit with her.
209
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,520
D'ya still have that condom?
210
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,600
Yeah, here. I don't want it!
211
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:50,680
Stick it in yer wallet.
212
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,080
When the time comes - and I don't
want to know when that is -
213
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,840
you make sure ya use it, all right?
214
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,040
I find dem very restrictive.
215
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,920
When ya get to prison you might
change yer mind.
216
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,840
Me and Jock were never
on a farm before
217
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,560
but there's a fellow in our class
at school who lives on one
218
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,960
and he always smells of shit.
219
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,680
He says he can't get it off.
It's part of being a farmer.
220
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,160
Well, there it is.
20 euros and you can take it away.
221
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,080
Is it workin' all right?
222
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,960
Plug it in and see for yourself.
223
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,160
FRIDGE RATTLES TO LIFE
224
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,120
DUCK QUACKS
225
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,800
Get out, you dirty bastard.
226
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,280
Come out!
227
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,320
Fucking head off.
228
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,080
Come on!
229
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,360
I fucking hate that duck.
Why do ya hate ducks?
230
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,040
I don't hate ducks.
I hate THAT duck.
231
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,840
About a week ago
I was going up to feed me hens.
232
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,280
He was standing outside the door
staring at me
233
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,680
and I knew something was up.
234
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,200
What have you done?
235
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,720
Normally me hens would have been
chirping cheerfully at that
236
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,160
time of day
but there was an eerie silence.
237
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,840
Not even a single cluck.
238
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,800
Maybe he just stepped in the blood.
239
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,280
What are you, his lawyer? No.
240
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,200
But just cos you saw a red footprint
doesn't mean he's a murderer.
241
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,000
It's not just that.
242
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,600
He was intimidating that hen
since I got her.
243
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,200
She hadn't laid an egg in weeks.
244
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,920
You happy?
245
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,920
Yeah. 20 euro. I'll give ya 18.
246
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,080
19. Done.
247
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,560
Have you got a euro change? No.
248
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:40,960
HE CHUCKLES
249
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,200
The key to good teamwork is
communication.
250
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,440
Take it easy.
251
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,840
Do you want to fucking do it?
252
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,160
Come on, ya pair of pussies,
253
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,440
Conor's Dad carried the fridge
on his own the last time.
254
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,800
Yeah, well, we don't want to
end up like him, do we?
255
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,240
DUCK QUACKS
256
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,280
FARMER YELLS
257
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,680
Get back here, you little bollocks.
258
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,040
Get back here.
259
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,040
Yer not goin' to kill him
with that, are you?
260
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,400
Yeah. I tried drowning him before
but he just held his breath.
261
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,360
Can we do it? What?
262
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,600
Come on! We're from the city,
we never get to kill anything.
263
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,040
PHONE RINGS
264
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,120
Hello? Hang on a second.
265
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,840
Just the duck, don't go killing
anything else.
266
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,080
We won't.
267
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,920
Thanks.
268
00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:01,160
Yeah? What the fuck would
I be doing with a jacuzzi?
269
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,200
This farming stuff is pretty easy
to get your head around.
270
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:17,480
It's all about milking animals,
feeding animals and killing animals.
271
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,040
Where's the body? I was going
to eat that for my dinner.
272
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,360
Shit! Ya should've
said that beforehand.
273
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:24,800
Here, look.
274
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,200
Hit him in the head.
275
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,360
I'm going to hit him in the back
first to keep him still,
276
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,520
then the head.
Whatever, just hit the fucker.
277
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,160
He's got a lot of fight in him.
278
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,400
That's a lot of blood.
279
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,560
I think I hit an artery.
280
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,960
Here, film me doin' it.
281
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,800
See if ya can get
the head to come off.
282
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,320
I could get used to country living.
283
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,560
He's totally mangled.
284
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,640
Yeah, we threw him in de river so he
wouldn't be stinking up the place.
285
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,440
Well, at least he's dead,
that's the main thing.
286
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,720
Fred and Rosemary West,
get in the car!
287
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,760
It's a farm, that's what they do on
farms, they kill things.
288
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,440
It's basically where psychos go
to be accepted.
289
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,800
I wouldn't mind killing a cow
de next time.
290
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,520
Have you no respect for life?
291
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,960
You had duck from the Chinese
last night. Not the same thing.
292
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,200
Why not? At least we looked our
duck in the eye when we killed it.
293
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,160
I didn't kill any duck.
No. You had someone do it for you.
294
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,840
QUACK
295
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,200
Did you say something?
296
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,400
Quack!
297
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,000
Quit it, Jock, it's not funny.
298
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,760
QUACKING
299
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,760
Quack! Quack!
300
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,880
Shit! What if he needs air?
301
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,320
Who needs air?
302
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,640
QUACKING
303
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,120
For fuck's sake!
304
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,480
Where did all the blood come from?
305
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,520
Give me more.
306
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,320
Fuck off and use your own, will ya?
I'm running out. I don't like pain.
307
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,040
No-one likes pain, ya tool,
308
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,440
but if we don't do this that farmer
is going to kill an innocent duck.
309
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,080
You better be appreciating' dis!
310
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:06,920
Hit him in the head.
311
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,160
I'm going to hit him in the back
first, keep him still.
312
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,400
Then the head.
Whatever, just hit the fucker.
313
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,800
I think I hit an artery.
I could get used to country living.
314
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,920
That's perfect.
315
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,320
Get in the car.
We're bringin' it back.
316
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,760
No way. He'll get hurt.
317
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,840
And what's yer plan,
have it live with us?
318
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,480
Why not? It needs a home.
319
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,160
It has a home.
320
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,560
A home where it's goin' to get hit
in the head with a hammer.
321
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,600
That duck was a trouble maker,
you heard the farmer.
322
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,800
He brought it on himself.
323
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,880
He was probably just actin' out cos
the farmer was mistreating him.
324
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,320
That's enough! We're bringin' it
back to the farm. No!
325
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,840
Then we're leavin' it here.
326
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,400
It's domesticated. It won't last one
night out here in the wilderness.
327
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,280
How can ya be so heartless?
328
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:02,880
How dare you call me that. I live
and breathe to take care of you.
329
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,120
He can come back to my house.
330
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,600
I was hopin' to have a nice
family day out with my son
331
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,760
and then you joined us.
332
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,120
Get in!
333
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,080
Did you ever have an argument
in a car and then need to fart?
334
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,320
It wasn't me.
335
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,000
See you tomorrow, Con. See you.
336
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,720
Thanks for lettin'
me come on de trip.
337
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,320
Wait, you're not
leavin' him with us.
338
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,640
What do you expect me to do,
sit him up on the crossbar?
339
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,760
I think it's best if you stay away
for a while.
340
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:00,120
I hear ya, let's take a break.
I'll see you in a couple of days.
341
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,640
Jesus. What?
342
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,960
You're like a boomerang
with shit on it.
343
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,040
Good one. You'd swear
you didn't like me.
344
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,240
I don't like you, Jock.
345
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,720
Why is that?
346
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,160
Conor has so little confidence
he'd latch on to anyone
347
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,560
and you're taking advantage of that.
No, I don't mean...
348
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,960
Shut up now and listen to me.
349
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,560
He worships the ground
you walk on.
350
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,480
He listens to your bullshit
and he believes it
351
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,880
and it's all bullshit, isn't it?
352
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,080
He copies what you do,
what you wear, what you say.
353
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,880
He wants to be just like you.
354
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,000
And that's my problem.
355
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,280
Cos you're nothing
but a little scumbag.
356
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,400
It's not nice hearin'
dem tings being said.
357
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,240
And yeah, some of them
might be true but...
358
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,240
..you're not perfect yourself.
359
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,840
And I never once said
a bad thing about you.
360
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,040
DUCK QUACKS
361
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,040
You're not comin' back with me.
362
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,360
YELLING AND CRASHING
363
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,680
Some decisions you can spend
fucking ages making.
364
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,040
You just keep debating with
yourself until you're
365
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,960
100% certain that it's
the right thing to do.
366
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:07,320
But most of the time, you do things
without thinking at all.
367
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,960
There's just something inside you
that tells you...you got to do it.
368
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,800
Do it, I fuckin' dare ya!
369
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,360
Jock, get everythin' you need from
here. You're not coming back.
370
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:00,840
Come on, hurry up.
371
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,440
Come on. Get in the car.
372
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,120
Jock's going to be staying with us
for a while.
373
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,240
Don't just stand there, grab his
stuff and give him a hand.
374
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,280
Me da used to say the same
shit over and over.
375
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,880
Like, "Out with the old,
in with the new."
376
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,320
I think he'd be happy a new fridge
was coming into the house.
377
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,160
Why does the new fridge look
shitter than the old fridge?
378
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,200
I could sleep in here.
379
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,160
Right, you two transfer the food
that's not wasted into the new
380
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,640
fridge and I'll make dinner.
381
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,000
Fill that up with
water for the duck.
382
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,320
He'll never be able to swim in that.
383
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,600
To drink. Oh, yeah.
384
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,120
The two of us up on the plank of
wood, what were we thinking?
385
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,320
We'd still be on the side
of the road if it wasn't for him.
386
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,760
Big enough for a swim after all.
387
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,240
Sometimes the family you're born
into isn't the right family at all.
388
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,960
The right family is the one
that works.
43862
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