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THE ADVENTURES OF PHILIBERT

Coast of Brittany 1550.

One! Two!

And one and two!

One! Two! And one and two!

Smoother!

And spin around!

Livelier!

Good!

Is Philibert a dancing girl now?

Not dance. Gentleman's exercise.

A gentleman here in Faouët? News to me!

Don't listen, Philibert!

Back to work!

Play, Mirbille!

Come taste my rod instead,

Sir Philibert de Faouët!

My pleasure!

Philibert,

when you decide to practice, come fetch me!

Come, Mirbille.

I felt your rod and found it limp!

En garde!

Fight, Tugduall!

Come now, fight!

Arzhul, what's the rush?

So... what about a girl?

Where is she?

Right here!

I have hay in my eye.

All your thrashing about made a mess of me.

There's nothing, Jeannick.

Maybe you're looking in the wrong place?

Fill me with joy, Philibert!

No, Jeannick.

I won't tell anyone our secret.

A smidgeon of joy.

I cannot.

A tiny bit.

Out of charity.

Father's dying! Father's dying!

Father!

- Father! - Philibert...

The end is near.

- Father... - Philibert...

I must tell you

a secret.

I am not your father.

But Father...

And my father?

He is dead.

Father...

Your real name is not...

Philibert Le Fillanchiaux.

No?

You're not the son of

an artichoke farmer.

No!

You were born...

Count...

Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

That's your real name.

Count...

Bérendourt de...

Saint-Avoise?

And my first name?

Eudes.

I like it! Because Philibert is a little...

But Philibert is better.

Twenty years ago,

I was coming back from a fair in Nevers.

I was still several days from Faouët.

All of a sudden a man jumped onto the road.

He handed me a basket.

And inside the basket... was you.

He bade me to raise you

like my own son.

He said to flee.

Bless you, good man.

His name was

Fulgence...

Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

Your father.

Bless you, good man.

I turned around.

Before my eyes I saw the poor man killed.

Bless you, good man.

Seek revenge, Philibert.

Against whom?

- Who was his murderer? - The Count d'Artois.

A vile wretch from Burgundy.

Just when he was giving

your poor father the final blow,

I saw that he had

a birthmark

on his neck.

A birthmark

shaped like a rose...

Father?

Get going, boy.

Rise to your rank. Avenge your father.

Go to Burgundy, now.

But Ma...

I'm not your mother either.

Yes.

- And my mother? - She died in childbirth.

Mother...

Mother... Madame...

What about my lessons? Riding in 10 minutes. Ethics at 5.

Forget your lessons.

Forget them? You insisted on them!

Exercise with Flaviolles the Knobby and Mirbille.

Catechism every morning.

Bagpipes on Monday.

Now.

Tights...

I'll take red. It goes with everything.

Green, for everyday outings.

Yellow...

Yellow always comes in handy.

I have something to say.

Go on, Ornave.

Here goes.

I'm not your brother.

You were always Father's favorite.

While I wasted my youth on artichokes,

you were dancing, cavorting

strutting about.

As a kid, I felt rejected.

I even thought I was adopted.

Now that the truth's out,

I need to rebuild myself.

Farewell, Philibert.

By the way,

this is not your room.

Farewell, Ornave.

I was ready to succeed my father...

Monsieur Le Fillanchiaux.

I was sure I'd end up in artichokes.

My life's over.

God made you Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

By His grace you'll become.

Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise again.

You believe in Him?

I believe in God!

Almighty Father who made Heaven and Earth.

You love Him?

More than myself!

And so He shall help you.

He'll guide you along the way.

Your education is complete. You're ready.

Ready to go seek revenge.

Come...

Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

You're still Flaviolles?

Yes, Flaviolles the Knobby.

Because everything's topsy-turvy.

Fare the well, Faouët.

Come back soon, Philibert.

Have sweet revenge.

And remember what I taught you. It will be a great help now.

God keep you!

He shall.

For my cause is noble.

And He is love.

We're off, Triskell!

Vengeance shall be mine!

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far.

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far.

To avenge his father's murder, efface the family scar.

His courage is immense, treacherous his foes!

A villain from Burgundy with a birthmark like a rose!

Trouble, wee one?

I fell.

My ankle hurts like hell!

- I'll draw blood. - I'll draw yours!

Your purse, stripling.

Or pay with your life!

No, with yours!

En garde!

Remember, villainy never pays!

Fear not, wee one. The rascal's gone.

Zounds! Another scoundrel!

So be it!

Don't kill me!

I'm just a wee one. Don't kill me.

Make me your valet.

By Jove! Who'd want a valet like you?

Spineless, sly and short.

And sporting hideous pants!

Yours are ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

Mine are technical attire. Light and flexible for combat.

Give me one good reason to hire you.

I have none.

So kill me.

Kill me...

Kill me!

So be it. You're hired.

But one false move and you're dead.

- What's your name? - Martin.

I'm Philibert.

Off we go, Martin!

Where are we going, Sire?

To find a neck with a rose on it

and slice it like a St. Jean's Day pig!

A neck with a rose? Like the song?

What song?

"Saint-Avoise Rode his Vengeance Far".

A song about me?

Criminy!

Sing it, my friend!

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far...

My Lord, the Black Squadron!

My Lord, pray listen to this man.

Why?

Listen to his song.

I don't like songs.

Trust me, my Lord.

Sing.

Sing!

The Count de Saint-Avoise rode his vengeance far.

To avenge his father's murder, efface the family scar.

His courage is immense, treacherous his foes!

A villain from Burgundy with a birthmark like a rose..,

He found a tiny Breton and made him his valet.

Then fearlessly set out to change his dest., ,

destiny...

Whence comes this ditty, gossip-hound?

You hear it in every village square.

Since when?

A few days ago.

Put this petty poet in the pen.

Move it!

Tall

noble-looking

with a short valet.

- Find them. - Yes, my Lord.

Drats!

So he had a son...

Some more snout?

No, pal. I've had my fill.

Tomorrow in a salad then.

You're avenging your father?

Yes.

Like they told me to do.

Imagine my turmoil.

I thought I had roots.

A well-balanced life, a future.

I need to rebuild myself.

And you, Martin?

Oh, me...

I'm the youngest of 17 kids.

My parents waited until I could steal my own food

before kicking me out.

I was 3 or 4.

Poor Martin...

I'll pray for you.

Have you rebuilt yourself?

Rebuilt myself?

I don't know, sir.

I live on the road.

I do some pilfering.

Part medicine man, part magician.

I don't believe in spells.

Watch this, Sire.

With this powder, I make hair grow.

This stimulates the appetite.

This... titillates lazy bowels.

This helps you sleep.

Hogwash!

Think again, Sire.

Think again.

Pish!

Plague on that wild child and his powders!

He took the snout too.

What a handsome faun!

Forget your clothes this morning?

Young ladies,

pardon my appearance.

Good thinking!

We'll waste less time undressing you!

Perfectly pardoned, sweetie!

- Absolved! - Cleared!

Exonerated!

What do you want?

Same thing he does!

Fill us with joy, boy!

Impossible!

Jump into the shrubs.

- We'll warm you. - I can't! I mustn't!

- We'll manage alone. - We're handy.

- All randy! - All candy!

Ladies! You make my blood boil!

Beware, wenches! You'll toe the line!

Punish me. I was a bad girl!

Me too, hobgoblin! I need a bad spanking!

Look, my Lord!

You put me to the test. I didn't waver!

What must I do now?

Guide me!

Thanks.

Back off, worms! Leave the poor man be!

Good day, Sire!

Sleep well?

I trusted you, varmint!

I told you, Sire... I'm part bandit.

You're right.

These pants are perfect for combat.

They're too small. You're pudgy.

But your rags suit you fine!

Now you, Judas!

Watch out!

But why?

To save him. We don't kill.

All we do is steal.

You acted like a good Christian.

You have a good soul.

You can make amends.

I will never be rich enough!

Will my purse suffice?

You saved my life.

Give me my horse. I'll give you my money.

Or rather, keep it.

Coward! Gone again!

You hurt, pal?

Thank you, brave man.

Your humble servant.

I had a broach.

I'll kill you, rascal!

Leave him! He meant no harm.

He was only after your purse.

He's not wicked.

Yes, excuse me... I'm not wicked.

So be it.

You're forgiven.

Night is falling.

You mustn't take to the road.

Be our guest tonight.

My valet's,

and mine.

Gentlemen,

it's as if God sent you.

Yes.

Sire...

- Milady... - Inès.

Countess de Bazouges de la Tour en Pendois.

And what is the name of my savior?

Count Philibert Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

Clothes certainly do not make the man!

Today a scarecrow rescued a horseman!

Let me be brazen.

What brings you to rogue-infested woods?

Sir, it is a long, long story...

I am all ears.

My life is sad indeed.

My mother died delivering me.

Mine too.

My 3 sisters perished in the plague of 1538.

Me too. I lost a sister that year.

Grandparents, 1541 flu.

Me too, all four!

My brothers died of pox.

In '47!

Like two of my brothers.

The other 3 died in '49...

Of cholera!

My older sister hanged herself!

Not mine.

So Father raised me as a boy.

Me too.

But poor Father is dying now...

Mine died already.

Both of them.

One of the kingdom's most faithful servants

is now no more than a ghost.

Warming his old bones all day long by the fire.

Poor man.

How old is he?

Fifty-two.

He's lived a long life.

Feeling his end near, Father sent me to his notary.

To change his will.

Tomorrow.

Why the men's clothes?

Ladies wear them to avoid unpleasant encounters.

Though some encounters are enchanting.

My Lord...

Milady, take the rump.

Sir

it's too much!

Milady, nothing's too much for you.

Sir,

should you ever come to Nevers,

pay me a visit.

Should Fate ever lead me to Nevers,

rest assured I'll pay you my respects.

Father would love to meet my savior.

I know I'll like your father.

So long, Martin.

Thanks again for dinner.

You're my rump champ!

Your humble servant.

I do hope to see you again.

Why not tell her we're going to Nevers?

Toshieldher from my bloody pursuit.

Do you need a powder to fall out of love?

What are you saying?

You have a crush!

Is it Inès the Almighty chose for me?

The love of my life?

Inès' broach!

You couldn't help it!

This broach means you'll see your intended again.

Your honesty is at stake.

Meanwhile, a part of her stays with you.

Thank you, friend.

Friends forever, Martin?

Friends forever, Sire!

Good.

Saddle up!

He found a tiny Breton and made him his valet.

Then fearlessly set out to change his destiny.

He saved a fair damsel from a thieving lout.

And lives on love and on zeal and roasted pig snout.

I win! My turn to make a wish!

Then?

I squash his shackled feet.

Then?

I break his legs.

Show mercy!

Weren't they already broken?

I skin his hide.

From here to here.

I stop when they talk. It can be here or here...

Usually, it's here.

In short, nothing new.

Remember the principle of torture.

Torture exists to leave marks on bodies.

Of course.

But it also leaves marks on minds.

Everyone on the outside

must fear what happens in here.

If they fear what happens in here,

they'll fear me everywhere.

Thus

it's up to you, Master Torturer,

to devise new forms of torture.

Crueler.

More painful.

More terrifying.

Do not betray my trust.

News of Saint-Avoise?

This butt-boil knows him.

Speak.

The runty Breton is Martin. A real crook.

His partner is a tall simpleton. Pompous.

Philibert.

They robbed me in the Forest of Fleece.

It's only 3 days away. Find him.

Yes, my Lord.

Better.

Snout and Stout Inn.

Do you have any rooms, Miss?

And if ever we're full, you can sleep in mine.

And me?

There's room in the stables.

- She likes you. - You see evil everywhere.

What evil?

You never see it anywhere!

Be more cautious.

We're in Nevers. Now what?

We find the Count d'Artois.

I pierce him with my sword.

And I avenge my father.

My Lord, the Black Squadron!

We've found the nobleman and his squat valet.

Good.

Good, good, good...

Why is he scratching?

It itches, Sire.

- Stop it. - I mean it!

It itches!

Look.

How dare you remove your mask? Put it back on now!

It's my esthetic.

You're in black. Everything here is!

Black is stately. Black is dark. Black is scary.

I'm allergic. Leather's comedogenic.

You're allergic?

To the galleys!

To the galleys!

I never liked that man.

He was a faithful companion. Seasoned.

He tracked down Saint-Avoise and the Breton.

Where is he?

In Nevers. Looking for you.

Looking for me...

What are we waiting for to give him the address?

One and two.

And one and two!

Sire, someone just brought this note for you.

I said to myself: "Go on... Could be important."

Thank you.

By Jove! Very good news!

Shall I read aloud, pal?

"Artois is at Charmerande.

"Your soul is beautiful, your combat noble.

"A friend who wishes you well".

Don't look surprised.

Since I left Faouët, God has been sending me signs.

He's reaching out. I will take His hand

and accept the favors He offers.

Nighty night!

Sleep, Martin. Tomorrow is a great day!

She definitely finds you attractive.

Count d'Artois?

Yes?

Sir, I am Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

20 years ago, you murdered my father.

Count Fulgence Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

I demand redress!

One... second... please.

En garde!

I took revenge!

I took revenge!

Father!

I avenged your murder!

I took revenge, Martin.

Lord!

You guided, I followed.

Lord, you ordered, I obeyed!

Thank you, God!

I took revenge...

Shall we go?

Yes.

You, here?

Why are you in women's clothes?

Father?

What happened?

I took revenge.

You killed my father?

He's your Pa?

You killed my father!

Monster! Murderer!

Milady,

your father killed mine.

I had to avenge his death.

I'm sorry.

My father never killed anyone!

Milady, I have no doubts.

Martin, help.

- Are you sure? - Of course!

I have the proof. The rose-shaped spot!

Like his soul, my father's body was spotless.

Chrysalde de Bazouges de La Tour en Pendois

was all loyalty, courage,

and rectitude.

Chrysalde de Bazouges...

I asked "Count d'Artois?" He replied "Yes!"

Poor Father was deaf.

He's your Pa.

Did you say Count d'Artois?

Cousin!

My poor cousin!

My dear child...

What on earth happened?

You wanted the Count d'Artois?

Here he is.

Sir!

I am Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise.

20 years ago, you killed my father, Count Fulgence...

For the moment, I see only one murderer here.

I was set up!

Pay for your sins!

Arrest this murderer!

Run! You're outnumbered!

Run, I said!

I'll be back, Martin.

And explain, Milady.

And squeak revenge, sir.

Don't let him escape!

I'll seek revenge, sir!

You're the wee Breton from the song.

You are indeed pint-sized.

If the tune spoke true of me

it certainly lied about his Lordship,

who is no villain at all.

You are perfectly right, runt.

Never believe what songs say.

Their words are often too

bouncy.

And they always fall far short of the truth.

To the galleys!

What the fuck...

My ward...

Feeling comfy?

Does the room suit you?

I'll never feel comfy. I'm a prisoner!

This room is a cell!

Hush hush.

Talk politely to your guardian.

That's finished now.

You're behind this odious scheme! You killed my father!

But he saw through you. He knew you were after his money.

He changed his will to free me from your grip.

Perhaps I should ask the advice

of my notary, then...

Good sir,

please enlighten us.

Am I still Mademoiselle's guardian?

Absolutely, my Lord.

You promised me the will had been amended.

But it was.

Good sir...

My cousin wanted me to take charge of his estate, right?

Most certainly.

And to ensure

the perpetuation of his estate,

he stated his wish that I married his daughter.

Indubitably, my Lord!

I accept.

Sell the dowry. I want it in gold.

Without fail, my Lord.

You're just a murderer! As well as a traitor!

And soon, your husband.

I will marry you, once you've mourned.

In 40 days.

His courage is immense, treacherous his foes!

A villain from Burgundy with a birthmark like a rose..,

Stop!

If you sang on key, it would be awful enough!

You!

Give me news of Saint-Avoise.

The Count,.

Spare me!

You.

Flat... And no gestures.

The Burgundian poltroon hatched a dastardly ploy.

But from the Beast's claws

flew the Heavenly Boy.

How dare they?

My Lord, it's just a refrain.

How can they even imagine that they can dare?

Get me the troubadour!

If he's dead, dig him up!

Sit!

We're going to write a song.

Take note.

Whoever is heard singing,

whistling or even humming the song about Saint-Avoise

will be immediately arrested,

severely beaten, quartered

and disemboweled in a public place.

His remains will be exhibited until it withers away.

There!

Now sing it everywhere. You hear? Everywhere!

It's not that great.

Pardon me?

It's just that

you have to count the feet, make it rhyme...

Humbug!

No, my Lord. A song has to tickle the ear.

I have no desire to tickle the ear!

You do.

You want us to obey you. To obey you, we have to listen.

And to listen, the song must be well-written.

So be it.

Let us tickle.

Inès!

Philibert!

What are you doing here?

I made you a promise.

I came to explain.

Milady

never...

I never ever wanted to kill your father.

I know, Philibert.

That wretch who killed my own father planned it all.

He had me given the wrong address.

I know.

I asked your father if he was d'Artois. He said yes.

But he was deaf. We drew swords.

But I know.

I thought he was d'Artois, but no!

I know!

Caused you pain, did I?

Not at all.

With this scratch, you're part of me.

You haunt my every thought.

So do you, Philibert. I think only of you.

The second I saw you in men's clothes,

I fell in love.

Me too.

I love you, Philibert!

But our love is doomed.

In 40 days d'Artois is marrying me for my father's fortune.

Vile wretch! I won't allow it!

Vile wretch... I won't allow it.

A matter of honor awaits me. Then I'll come back for you.

I'll never abandon you.

I swear to you, my love.

See you, my beloved.

See you, my beloved.

Oh wondrous love, see-eth you again when will I?

Now!

Here I am.

I got my foot caught in some sort of vine!

Spare me all this!

The lyrics, right away.

Whoever is heard humming.

Or strumming or drumming.

The song of Saint-Avoise the Sly,

Will suffer such pain, he'll wish he did die.

He'll be boiled and pinned

and broiled and soiled and skinned.

In the dungeon he'll be on display.

Till crows do come to nibble away.

Pretty, isn't it?

Something vexes me.

The crows who nibble.

It's... inappropriate.

"Till crows do come"

"to munch away?"

"Till crows do come"

"to eat away."

"To feast away..."

"To chew away..."

"To peck away!"

That's it. To peck away.

"Till crows do come to peck away."

Because crows peck.

With sharp beaks. They prick!

They take a little

then come back for more.

It's painful and it's long.

In the dungeon, he'll be on display.

Till crows do come to peck away,

Now we're tickling.

Cut the cadence!

Cut the cadence!

We have a new arrival.

He's a volunteer.

Good morning!

As a volunteer,

I'd like to sit

beside

the lit Tie Breton.

Get up!

Damn you, on your feet!

Volunteer? Here?

Are you out of your mind?

Don't worry. I have an escape plan.

I'm a volunteer!

Shackles are for everyone.

My volunteer's contract stated certain advantages:

No shackles, more starches and I don't get whipped.

I guess they lied!

Silence, slaves!

Mercy me!

My plan is less evident now.

Cadence 10.

When will you be less naïve?

Cadence 10!

That fresh sea air!

Don't worry, Martin.

I'll find another way to get us out.

Then I'll get even with vile d'Artois.

The Count d'Artois?

Count d'Artois of Burgundy?

An evil man.

With a black goatee.

And?

A mark on his neck.

What's it shaped like?

Like a rose!

I know all about him.

His intrigues, his crimes, his dark secrets...

I know every hidden passage of his castle.

Every nook of his twisted mind.

Take me along,

and I'll help you destroy him.

Deal, Scarface!

Sire...

They're blackheads.

Slight allergy.

Deal, Blackhead! You're with us!

He came.

- Where is he? - Whom do you mean?

Saint-Avoise. Where is he?

I have no idea.

But wherever it may be that he may be,

he has one aim.

To kill you.

He'll never let you marry me.

His heart is noble.

His soul, profound.

A man of his word. A brave heart.

He came in here and spoke to you.

Nothing or no one can cause me strife.

In 30 days you'll be my wife.

And your father's fortune will be mine!

Drats!

Nothing unusual on your last night watch?

No, my Lord.

Some noise, nothing serious.

Normal noise for a night watch in a castle.

He came.

He's here. Close by.

Start searching. Find him.

No need, my Lord.

He'll come on his own.

How's that?

He's in love, my Lord.

And?

She too is in love, my Lord.

So what?

They're in love.

Therefore?

They always want to be together.

To share everything.

To sleep together. Stay up all night.

Eat in bed. Say silly things, laugh together.

Run naked in the forest.

Yes?

He loves her.

He'll come for her.

Fine.

We don't move.

We let the cat approach,

but we move the mouse.

Since we have the cheese.

What are you doing, Sire?

Your pouches.

Thanks.

But they're of no help.

In the forest you put me to sleep with your powders.

No, my Lord.

With a log!

You're such a sucker!

You believe everything!

Powders, midnight notes, volunteer slave.

No one escapes. We'll die here!

D'Artois stole my past.

He won't take my destiny.

Because Inès is the one.

I'll give her everything.

My life.

My heart.

My cherry.

- Your...? - Cherry.

Your cherry?

Wait...

You never serviced a woman?

Never.

You never bumped bones?

Virgin!

A virgin,

and a volunteer!

Blessed pudding!

What's this hullaballoo?

The newcomer, the volunteer...

He's a virgin!

Quiet, scum buckets! Quiet!

I said to be quiet! Quiet!

Leave him alone!

Fie upon you!

I'll shut your virgin mouth up!

See? Your powders work!

- Companions! - My Lord!

Companions

you're now unshackled.

Thanks, Virgin.

Bravo, Virgin!

No more beatings!

Hooray!

- No more drumbeats! - Hooray!

- No more chains! - Hooray!

No more revolting loincloths!

Hooray!

You've found your freedom.

Your dignity.

You're going to be men again!

My friends...

Here's my plan.

What's going on here?

You're not rowing?

Where the hack?

Here!

My friends!

Like I promised

you're free!

Long live Captain Cherry!

Martin, Turk and Blackhead, bring down the crew.

You three, follow me.

Your orders, Captain?

- For? - Steering the galley.

Spread the tablecloth. Yank the strings.

Let's go that way. Left!

Hoist the main sail! Port the helm! Ahoy!

Companions! Let's set sail for the French coast!

Come, Saint-Avoise.

I'm waiting!

29 days later.

All aboard!

Martin, grab these men.

Blackhead, tie them up.

Turk, get the chest and bring it to me.

Show us what's inside.

I've got you now, d'Artois!

For your master.

Thanks for the gold!

Stand straight, my Lord.

There.

Perfect!

The cut is stunning.

So...

Mademoiselle...

It's nice. Very, very pretty.

I'm just a little bothered by this fold,

but I'll fix it for tomorrow.

You'll be

fabulous!

Sire, the convoy was attacked.

- The dowry? - Stolen.

It's him!

It's him...

"D'Artois...

"Dawn tomorrow at Hangman's Glade.

"I'll be there alone. Come regain your honor.

"With luck, you'll regain your gold too."

"Count Bérendourt de Saint-Avoise."

It doesn't even rhyme.

We'll smoke out the den

and nab the fox.

Since we have the cheese.

You can't go alone.

I must, Martin.

- He'll set a trap. - Indeed.

Only his cowardice

rivals his treachery.

He will not dare fight.

In 20 years, I've seen him fight no one.

My Lord, I beg of you

don't take the gold.

I shall go alone.

With my sword.

And the gold.

He has guile on his side.

I have God on mine.

Can I ask one more thing?

Whatever you want.

Roasted snout for dinner.

It may be my last snout.

And God willing,

we'll have the rest in a salad tomorrow.

Coward!

Saint-Avoise,

I thought it over.

I'll leave you honor.

I don't need it.

But I'll take the gold.

Traitors!

Where is my gold?

Gold makes us poor.

It makes us lose our minds.

And our friends.

Shut up.

My God!

My God!

Why have you forsaken me?

What have I done to fall from grace?

You could have atoned, d'Artois.

Too late now!

I'll pray for you.

Look where your prayers have gotten you.

Look at yourself.

A life of catechism,

of masses and smug devotion, only to end up

miserable, tattered,

rotting on a cross.

Proof of God's love.

Kidding aside,

where is my gold?

It's not your gold.

It's Inès' papa's.

You killed him

and you'll rob him as you did mine!

Your father was less of a drama queen.

He begged on his knees.

Lies! Slander!

Do what you want to me!

I'm not afraid!

You should be.

You should be.

In fact,

according to the song that sings your praise,

they call you Captain Cherry?

Coined by galleys slaves on one of your boats from hell!

Okay...

If they gave you that name, it's because you're

a virgin?

Intact for the love of my life.

And this love is...

Inès?

Our fates are entwined.

In an hour, the love of your life will be my wife for life.

You'll never have Inès!

Yes, I will. And the gold as well.

Because you'll speak.

See that man?

He's my Master Torturer.

Skilled in the esthetics of pain.

He is devoted to the art of the scream.

He could

chop off your feet.

Dismember you.

Let a dog gnaw away at you.

We needed something

specific.

Master...

Saint-Avoise, this is Penelope.

Penelope...

Captain Cherry.

Hello, ma'am.

How long has it been since you saw your old father?

15 years, Sire.

15 years...

I'd be happy to release him from his cell, but for that

you know what you have to do, right?

Perfect.

Go!

Deflower him!

Will you speak, Saint-Avoise?

I have nothing to say.

- Speak! - Curse upon you!

Very well.

Go... Accomplish your task.

Tell me once he's spoken.

I'll extend your congratulations to Madame Inès d'Artois,

dear Count.

Our Father who art in Heaven,

hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven!

Stand firm!

Away, sorceress!

My friends! How...?

Blackhead knowe every nook and cranny!

Brave fellow.

Martin, am I still intact?

Yes.

God be praised!

Intact, my Lord, but...

But stiff.

Dear friends, good friends,

brave friends...

I'm sorry I doubted you.

Walking into that trap with the gold

was certain death.

I saved the gold.

And I saved you.

Faithful companion,

your little ruse

saved my life.

Let's make haste.

Clotindre went to marry Inès.

We can't let it happen!

You!

Where is he having his sham wedding?

- I won't speak. - Really?

I know how to make you talk.

The torture d'Artois devised for me!

My Lord, I'm afraid he hasn't been intact in ages.

So be it.

Turk, tie him up!

I'll rip off your feet,

cook them

then sew them back on.

And then

I'll make you gnaw away at a dog!

They're at Notre-Dame de la Désolation!

Here, my Lord. From everyone

in the Black Squadron.

Who's he?

You, my Lord!

It comes from Aubusson.

My men and I wish you a lifetime of happiness.

But

it's an arranged marriage.

A marriage all the same!

We are gathered together here today

family,

friends, dear ones,

to celebrate the union of Inès

and Clotindre.

Marriage is two souls,

two hearts,

united by God,

for God.

Clotindre Godovaire Targin Glulle de Putrolles d'Artois,

do you take as your lawful wife

Inès Lucie Aube Félicité...

Sophiane de Bazouges de la Tour en Pendois?

I do.

- Saint-Avoise? - Yes, my Lord. He escaped.

Drats!

- Still a virgin? - I'm afraid so.

Goddamn goody-goody holier-than-thou sanctimonious shit!

Sire, this is a house of God.

You, hurry up.

My God! What is this hubbub?

Inès Lucie Aube Félicité...

Sophiane de Bazouges de la Tour en Pendois,

do you take as your lawful husband

Clotindre Godovaire Targin Glulle de Putrolles d'Artois?

By my faith, this marriage will not occur!

We have to go.

My Lord!

Father?

You're wounded. I'll tend to you.

Forget it, friend.

Vengeance is my remedy.

Come. I know another way.

Viper vile!

Who are these people?

Prisoners.

D'Artois has no more room.

They're everywhere.

Papa?

I'm here!

Fear not, damsel.

We'll come back for him.

Sign it, for God's sake! Sign it!

Never!

Darn you!

Kill them all!

Wait!

Mitulfe?

Mitulfe is no more.

I'm Blackhead now.

A free man!

Rid of this tyrant's hold!

Don't listen to him. Kill them!

Aren't you fed up?

Being mistreated?

Insulted?

Humiliated?

Time to live your lives!

He's a traitor! Kill him!

Time to realize your dreams.

Cyriulle...

Why not tend to that patch of land of yours?

Uc,

finish your dad's cottage?

Alfride

you wanted to learn to sing.

Have you?

And you, Gliture?

Why not follow your dream?

When will you open your dressmaking shop?

Where did that dream go?

Gliture...

Couture!

I'll pay you 1000 crowns!

Each!

I said leather was allergenic!

Look... Look at my nice complexion now.

10,000 crowns!

I'll give you each 10,000 crowns.

You are

cowards!

Deserters!

Deserters?

We gave you 30 years of our lives.

And for what? Bullying.

And scorn.

You're my only friends.

Your friends?

Yes!

Whenever I see you, I smile.

I'm happy.

I want to eat in bed

with you, never sleep.

Naked?

Hooey and hokum!

We chipped in for a present and you didn't even care!

- I did! - Oh yeah?

Where's the rug?

Yes!

Where's my rug?

It's all over, d'Artois.

You too!

Man of God.

I saw your true face.

Unlike theirs... yours is repugnant!

Go away!

Now at last, the moment I've been waiting for.

Revenge is now mine!

En garde, d'Artois,

my father's murderer.

En garde, I said!

What a fine soul!

Noble.

Chivalrous.

Virginal.

What a bore!

Is it with this, Madame, you wish to grow old?

For this you'll let happiness steal your youth,

devastate your beauty,

while bitterness shrivels your delicate lips,

stretches your pretty belly

for the 20 runts he'll droningly conceive.

Enough, snipe!

You're a monster!

You stole my youth!

Now I need to rebuild myself!

Haven't you had enough, all of you,

moping around day in, day out?

"I had a tough life."

"How I suffered!"

"I need to mourn."

"Rebuild myself."

Look at me! I'm vile, cruel and underhanded.

Did I have a miserable childhood?

Was I rejected?

My life wasn't tough.

Scoundrel!

Drats!

Dirty rat!

Crook!

Double-crosser!

Maggot!

Ouch!

Grouch!

Demon!

Meanie!

Fight!

One death is not enough for so many crimes!

One, two...

And one and two!

Thank you, Flaviolles.

I wanted so much

to make you unhappy, Madame.

I love you so!

Your broach, Milady.

That's not mine.

Farewell, Captain Cherry.

- Can I? - You must.

And you, as usual

not a word.

I'm confused.

As a galley slave, I asked no questions.

I rowed, I slept... Then woke up and rowed.

Now that I have this freedom,

I'm at a loss.

I'm confused.

I need to rebuild myself.

So be it! Send him to the galley!

Subtitles: Andrew Litvack.

Subtitling TITRA FILM Paris