Original subtitles

20 YEARS OLD MORE YOUNG

Oscar, it's wrong, all wrong. It's not what I asked for.

It's all wrong. Stop!

Hey, Oscar, stop everything.

We have to do it all over!

It's not the same color, you see it;

here it's yellow like sunny yellow,

and here it's yellow orange like an orange.

That's not the same.

No. This is yellow do Brazil.

I know but look here it's not the same

Alice please, we changed it four times already.

Everybody is tired, and trust me no body can see the difference.

I see the difference.

We have to do it all over,

I'm sorry Oscar it's not the same color.

Put him on. I keep getting voicemail.

Except Lisa. She's been sucking up since you left,

clinging to him all day.

I heard they ate with the big boss last night.

-What? -Kimmel stopped over in Paris,

so they all went for dinner at Le Bristol.

Put him on.

I don't think I can.

He said no calls.

Besides that,

how's Brazil? Hot?

I'll call you back.

-Hold on, I'll do it. -Thank you.

Hope I didn't hurt him.

That's fine, thanks.

Paris!

Sorry...

You're in my seat.

Sorry...

You're in my seat.

Are you nuts!

Sir, please sit down.

I'd be delighted to but...

Calm down.

Ma'am, I am calm.

Follow me.

-Where to? -That way.

Sorry about earlier.

Laurent Touzon, French Institute.

I don't know anyone in Paris anymore.

Maybe we could have dinner together?

Sorry?

I cut to the chase. It saves time.

Is that seat free?

Sorry, it's taken now.

Don't let me...

Sit down.

-Madam, have you chosen? -I'll have the lobster.

Lobster for me, too.

Is it fresher than on the way over?

It's just the inter-tropical convergence zone.

Ladies and gentlemen, your captain speaking.

Our plane is entering a turbulence zone.

Please remain your seat-belt fasten, thank you

Warm air meets cold air

and this is what happens.

Watch the cabin crew. It's reassuring.

And people say there's one chance in a million.

In fact, it's one in a billion...

Sorry.

No problem, don't mention it.

Goodbye.

It was a pleasure nearly dying with you.

Balthazar. My name's Balthazar.

Alice.

Alice...

I'd have got a cab.

Silly! It's my pleasure. I wanted some fresh air.

At the airport?

Well, Brazilian men?

You scared me.

This cutie's for you. I got it in Rio.

-Show it to your friends. -Dope, mom. Dope.

Hold that.

-Thanks for the cancer. -Sorry, Zoe.

Miss. Miss.

Alice! Alice! Sheet!

Alice!

Lamborghini Gallardo Spider. It's for Thursday's show.

Great.

Where do I put this?

Richard's free Wednesday. Dinner at home. No no-shows.

Promise?

Fulfillment isn't having a man. You do know that?

When I say I'm happy on my own, there's no subtext.

Wednesday. Non-negotiable.

Seriously, your gynecologist!

You have to be kidding me.

What's the problem?

He's sensitive,

charming and as workaholic as you.

He sees so many that he won't go looking for it.

Great sales pitch. Lovely.

Morning, Mrs. Lantins.

Morning.

Years of abstinence?

8 and counting.

How was the thong capital of the world?

Muchas g-stringas!

Lunch?

Can't. Desperate Fräulein's back.

What did you say? Apfel?

-Morning, Pauline. -Alice!

Vincent's expecting you and Mr. Apfel has a key...

Don't know any Apfels. Tidy your desk.

It's a complete mess here.

That's not what I said. They're impossible.

Mrs. Lantins!

-How are you? -Good. And you?

Did Lisa have dinner with Kimmel?

Working hard?

Talk of the devil.

You good? Get that cute butt to work.

You picked up a tan.

Thanks.

I am so wasted.

We wound up at Le Baron at 6.

Garou clung to me all night. Pathetic.

Absolutely.

Keep it up!

Right...

Can we talk?

Come in, close the door.

We both loved it.

Yeah, I remember.

Where we pretty much fucked

on the table.

You were So vigorous, So virile.

I can come back later.

No, take a seat.

I'll call you back. I'm with Alice. Later!

Long-distance relationships! I'm sick of them and him.

See this?

-Like the photo? -Great.

I am so happy.

How was Le Bristol?

She enjoyed meeting Lisa?

News travels fast.

It was just a spur-of-the-moment dinner.

You said you could only entrust Rebelle to me.

I'm pushing 40.

40 already?

She's incredible.

She's done a zillion jobs.

Blogger, body artist, burlesque dancer.

Three civil unions, man, woman and man again.

She shakes things up.

If you don't do it for me, what hope our readers?

I'm too old, am I?

Picasso died aged 91 with a child's soul.

Age is irrelevant.

It's more a question of attitude.

Don't look at me like that. It chills my bones.

Just in case things don't go your way,

there's a vacancy at Hearths and Fireplaces.

The editor's job is part-time,

so more quality time with the family.

You're joking.

It's a great title. 30,000 subscribers is not to be sniffed at.

I've got work to do.

Can you take me to Alex's party Friday?

I know, scary.

It's you. What...

I want to surprise her.

You okay?

You look beat.

I do?

I feel in great shape.

Got any bread?

Vile, what's in it?

I went on the radio, so sales are soaring.

Martin's thrilled. He wants another in September.

I haven't written a line.

That and my lectures...

Drink?

No, thanks.

Can you give me a back rub?

Sure.

Hold on.

Shoulders.

Your magic fingers.

Agathe came across your book.

She said she enjoyed it.

What was it called again?

The Isle of No Oceans.

Cut it out.

That's enough.

Bye, Charlotte.

Look, your mother.

I love you, sweetheart.

Be careful.

And now the little wave.

Where'd I put those files?

APFEL. USB KEY. PLANE.

Great.

-Hello! -Hello.

-Can you hear me? -Who is this?

Mrs. Lantins, from the seat next to you on the plane.

Alice?

Hi there!

You left a message. You found my USB key?

Yes, I have your key.

I have your key in my possession.

Thank God! Can we meet up somewhere?

What's best for you?

Can you make it right now?

Right now? Sure.

Where?

-162, Quai de Jemmappes. -I'm on my way.

Look at that, I'm cleaned out.

Everything okay?

Yeah, fine.

Listen up, it's insane.

Alice, Alice!

Over here.

We're just at the end of the bar.

I'm kind of in a rush.

It's happy hour, that's why.

I said I'm in a rush.

Yeah, it's madness.

Why's she out? Isn't Downton Abbey on TV?

I know. At her age, she'll need two years to recover.

Fanny and Guillaume, friends from architecture school.

Alice is a...

An acquaintance. Hello.

Want a drink?

Just my key.

It's at home, actually.

What do you mean, at home?

We must've got our wires crossed on the phone.

I was saying, I've got the key.

But not on me. It's at my place.

Where's your place?

Where's your place?

My place?

Yes, I know.

I got ripped off. It was a B&W photo on the site.

You soon get used to it.

The idea is for me to get on?

Don't worry, I'm a careful driver.

Okay...

May 1?

It's a bit fiddly.

Sorry.

You're good.

Tweet it.

It's tweeted!

Come on in.

Welcome to my humble abode.

You look ridiculous.

Great cut and hardly even itches.

I thought if I ever meet your family...

You're home?

As you can see.

Anissa? What are you doing here?

You tell him.

You'll never guess.

I was filming in Paris

and who do I see passing by?

Sorry,

this is Anissa.

We were in 12th grade together.

We're talking years ago.

My father.

Alice.

He told me all about you.

Dad, please.

You've got 5 minutes?

What for?

My new show's title sequence. I need a second female opinion.

The only ones with weight and substance.

Every Wednesday, with Luc Apfel

in The Fast Lane,

get behind the wheel of the greatest sports cars...

We haven't mixed it yet.

Driving on legendary circuits, pumping up the adrenalin...

In the best company, Luc tests dream rides

and reveals their secrets.

Jealous?

Every Wednesday at 11, get into The Fast Lane.

Well?

Tell me honestly.

It has something.

Let's go eat.

Good idea.

How about some KFC?

-A variety bucket? -No, thanks.

Go for it.

Can I get my key?

Sorry, your key...

It's here somewhere, but where?

Would you like some tea?

I have white, green, black...

Sure? Okay.

Maybe something to read?

I've lots of good stuff.

Bjorn the Morphiz?

The Forest of Hanged Foxes? Good read.

In Praise of...

In Praise of Older Women

Your key...

Here it is!

Thank you.

Want a lift?

I'll take a cab, thanks.

A coffee maybe one evening?

Why one evening?

One morning or afternoon, too. I'm pretty free.

And why coffee?

I'm into Sprite and all kinds of sodas or fizzy pop.

It's hip and you're very sweet

but it's just not my style.

Goodbye.

Taxi!

Today's appointments.

What's going on?

I'm giving you your appointments.

What's with everybody?

Nothing, why?

“Why"?

Rumors are going around.

What rumors?

Rumors...

Pauline!

Look.

Vincent!

I have photos of models for the shoot for your approval.

I thought it had been photoshopped or something.

What?

-A real cutie. -How old?

Vincent! You don't seriously think...

You look like me telling my dad I wasn't banging my teacher.

You don't believe this stuff?

I promise you...

Don't worry about it.

That's exactly how I want you.

Offbeat, magical...

You and the kid does it for me. The rebel spirit.

It's great, I love it.

See you, bye!

Vincent sees you as a tight ass uptown girl.

Prove him wrong. He despises workaholics.

What do you suggest? I stop working?

I get my clit pierced?

Not so painful. Mother I'd Like to Fuck.

-I'd like to what? -Fuck.

Balthazar, your teen. Get me?

You want me to bang a teen to please my boss?

Are you nuts? I like my job but even so...

Pretend you're banging him. Subtle difference.

Take him to parties,

hold hands, give him gooey looks, and bingo!

Alice version 2.0.

Madame Courtois, long time no see. I'll stop now.

Rebel?

Al right.

-A good little restaurant. -How long's that been?

Japanese maybe?

I'm done with miso soup.

What are you waiting for?

Hey.

How are you?

Hello.

What are you doing here?

I lost your digits...

So I thought I'd drop by. Totally.

It's good to see you.

A guided tour?

Great!

It's funny, this brings back so many memories.

It feels like it was yesterday.

You were a student here?

I mean the whole college thing.

The crazy shit we did and all that.

I was dating a guy back then called Bastien.

Bastien, Balthazar. Funny, it starts the same.

Yeah, it's funny.

Say, are you free tonight?

Tonight?

I'm free, I'm available, yes.

Cool, I'll text you the address.

Totally.

Awesome.

What are you listening to?

Metronomy.

What else do you like?

Azealia Banks, Wu Lyf, Chromatics...

And dad thinks he introduced me to the Stones.

Azealia Banks, Wu Lyf, Chromatics...

Mom, are you okay?

Fine.

Right,

I gotta go.

Chantal won't be long.

Hi.

Sorry, I didn't make it home.

You look great.

-Are you sure? -Positive.

You look stunning.

Thanks.

Let's get you out of the cold.

What you listening to?

This.

I'm more into Azealia Banks, Wu Lyf, Chromatics.

She brought him.

You have something there.

It's gone.

Try it, it's fun.

A drink maybe?

Absolutely appalling.

Claude!

Absolutely amazing!

Even more powerful than your last show.

You think so?

By the way, this is Balthazar.

Thanks.

Balthazar... Claude Mallé, the reason we're here.

You're...

In my modest way. What do you think?

Speak up, be honest.

Go on.

This idea of you popping up all over, why not?

Once, twice, three times, then we burn out.

I realize you have issues with your image,

but it becomes a puerile ego-trip

devoid of any interest for us.

Irony, okay.

See you later.

What got into you?

He asked me what I thought.

Nobody says what they think here.

Contemporary art's infuriating.

There are guys way better than him.

In my street, a guy with a tiny workshop

paints magnificently. I'll introduce you.

But this is all about selling yourself.

It's the system. Get used to it.

I'm happy outside the system. One foot in, one foot out...

Sorry.

It's him.

Hi, I'm Simon.

A pleasure to meet you at last.

-We've gotta go find Vincent. -No problem.

This is Balthazar, a friend.

Hi, how are you?

I'm kinda dazed.

All this feels so far-fetched.

I guess it still hasn't sunk in.

I wanted to get to know you

a bit better.

If somebody had said,

me here with you...

Hey.

We're not bothering you?

No, you're fine.

Looking for your boss?

He called and cried off.

-Wanna smoke? -Sorry?

Pot?

I had a bad trip once,

but maybe you'd...

Alice? You can't be serious.

Take it easy with the...

It's cool.

Careful.

Sorry.

I'll give you some room.

Richard arrived an hour ago.

-I'm serious. -Who?

Richard, my doctor.

A doctor?

My gynecologist.

I'm horribly embarrassed. Get here fast.

Is that clear?

-Nothing serious? -Serious?

You mentioned a doctor.

My daughter's come down with appendicitis.

I have to go.

Which hospital? Let's go.

-No, a taxi's faster. -A taxi!

It's an emergency.

Watch out!

Stop!

Come on, Alice!

Ma'am! Sir, I mean...

Which hospital?

The American Hospital.

Should I come?

No, she wouldn't understand.

Go! Don't waste any time.

Rue de l'Université, please.

-Not the American Hospital? -Rue de l'Université.

Be strong, Alice!

Take!

For coke, the armrest is good.

Sorry.

You're putting me on?

Are you eating with us?

Eating.

Eating?

No.

Sure.

Maybe.

I'm sorry. This is so unlike her.

My sister is usually very punctual, doctor.

Richard, please.

Finally, you get to meet her,

but, be careful, she's fragile.

Babette...

You see,

it's so long since she...

Since she met someone, if you follow me,

but a gynecologist will reassure her.

There she is.

Don't let me down.

I hope everybody likes lamb.

I'm totally lovin' it!

Richard?

No, thanks. Just vegetables.

No couscous?

No carbs in the evening, thanks.

So you'll live to be 100?

I'm a raw vegan.

Raw vegan? Really?

It means I only eat uncooked organic plant foods.

Actually, how do you know

Elisabeth, my sister?

Alice is jet-lagged from her Brazil trip.

She's a little...

Silly me. Sorry.

Was it full of transsexuals?

Brazil? Transsexual heaven. Get your folks to take you.

Richard's an expert...

On transsexuals?

Really?

Professionally? Or privately?

Sorry?

No, he's an expert on South America.

A fascinating region.

I was in Honduras only last year.

-Honduras? -That's right.

The people are so friendly.

And so authentic.

In Latin America,

people are more in touch with life,

with themselves

and with the moment.

But they're dangerous countries for visitors.

Kidnapped one day, dead in a landfill the next.

Sorry. Excuse me.

No problem.

Are you okay?

Just one tiny second...

So, what's for dinner?

Hi, Caroline. No, something came up.

Hey...

I missed you last night.

My nephew's organized a sushi evening with his cousins.

Let me introduce you. Balthazar... Vincent...

I keep up the act five minutes. And bed by midnight.

There we go. 5109.

Come on.

How are you?

Tracy!

Who's that?

My firm's big boss.

Don't, Balthazar!

-Are you OK? -Yes!

I apologize for earlier.

I'll keep myself on a leash. No impromptu heroism.

Forget it.

Over here!

-Come on. -Sure.

You, Balthazar?

Tracy's left?

Stop obsessing.

In 20 years, I never saw such gallantry.

Seriously, it's true.

Blame my mother for raising me so strictly.

If I hadn't helped that girl,

she'd haunt me in nightmares

with her little ruler, saying, "I taught you to be gallant!”

He's amazing. Where did you find him?

Tell me, where are you two at?

Us two?

Apparently, you're inseparable.

Has she met your friends?

My friends?

-Do your parents know? -My parents?

-What about them? -About you and her.

I love this track.

Let's dance. I'll bring him back.

You're buying her makeover?

Never banged, you say?

Not a tiny shag?

Isn't that Zoe's mom?

Get your hands off!

Let's go.

Now?

I really want to be alone with you.

Cut it out!

Great, she's gone.

Where'd they go?

I don't know. To have fun.

Thanks, bye.

I'm parked this way.

I'll walk you. On these mean streets, no risks.

I live right here.

Anything could happen in those few meters.

It's fine.

Sure?

Sure.

-Late, isn't it? - I don't know.

I forgot my watch. It must be 2 a.m.

Thanks again.

No problem.

See you.

Buona notte!

I'm wasted.

No way. What a dork!

Not buona notte!

-Hi! -All right?

Good evening.

Sorry for the weird burst of Italian. So corny!

Is your daughter home?

No, she's away for the weekend...

What are you doing?

-What? -Nothing.

You want me?

My bedroom.

That way.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Stop saying sorry.

Keep going! Don't stop!

2 x 2..

4 x 2 is 8.

8 x 4 is 32.

32 x 2 is 68. No, 64.

Angela Merkel.

Hillary Clinton.

Francois Hollande...

Shut up!

What time is it?

Late. It's very late.

Time to get up.

I gotta get home.

You are home, aren't you?

Yes, precisely.

C'mon, up and at 'em!

Brutal.

I'm really busy and...

I have to study.

You socs?

I couldn't find the other.

You're going out like that?

It's really no problem.

I always carry this just in case.

Anyway, the rain's easing off.

A bit.

-Don't worry about me. -It's fine. Stay until the rain stops.

Shit!

Alice Lantins?

You're a writer?

THE ISLE OF NO OCEANS.

Sorry, Zoe finished the Honey Pops.

There we are.

I found some stuff you might like.

I think I'll have tea, actually.

Tastes good.

What's it about?

What?

My book? Nothing.

No for me!

Can't I read it?

To judge for myself.

-I'm a fast reader. In two days, I'll... -Please!

Expecting visitors?

I told you, I put it in your bag.

Hey.

Rotten weekend!

It pours down all day and now the sun's out.

Elisabeth, hi. This is Balthazar.

My intern.

As I was saying, the photocopies...

Your headphones.

Here they are.

You need a hand?

We didn't kiss.

How's your tummy?

And you and your belly?

Zoe, go to your room.

-Mom! -Go to your room!

- I better be going. -House of pain!

I'll get out from under your feet.

Mrs...

A pleasure to meet you.

Goodbye.

Just a second.

I'm sorry.

3 copies on your desk tomorrow 9 a.m.?

Go!

I dunno, it just happened. It wasn't planned.

Right.

What?

What's that look for?

It's just reality beating out fiction.

The story within a story is more than a story.

Beautiful.

Don't laugh. You're laughing.

SORRY I'M LATE BUT...

LOOK

UNDER THE BENCH

1-2, 1-2... Testing...

Alice, can you hear me?

Do you really want to go to this party tonight?

We could go out, Just you and me.

Your first mission is to track down a pink vehicle,

an enormous roadster that's about to come roaring up.

Once aboard the vehicle,

your mission will be to not ask where you're headed.

The driver has absolutely no idea.

Sorry, nearly forgot, how about a little music?

Does it have a name?

My ex called it Loser the Dolphin. No, Hick the Dolphin.

He insisted I get it removed. I refused.

My little victory.

Can I ask you a question?

You're funny, beautiful and intelligent...

Why...

Why me?

No, it's a dumb question.

I heard myself asking it. Sorry.

Wanna hear my BF Of The Week?

It's titled Wednesday Night is Cheating BF Night.

"A man who's taken is the perfect man.

"Except he's taken.

"That's the whole point.

"You get only the best,

"the essence of that beautiful first moment.

"And, of course,

"sex, sex and more sex."

I don't believe it!

If I shock you, say so.

Hardly.

What have you got for us this week?

"Ouch, my heels are too high"?

"No more unsightly armpit stains"?

I was thinking along the lines of...

"Are we all YouPorn keywords?"

You what?

YouPorn.

You see? Blonde.

Redhead. Brunette. MILF...

Aka Mom I'd Like to Fuck.

Aka me.

I mean guys are great at sorting us via their search engine.

Lila,

if you knew how many men get off on typing BBW,

you'd feel so much better.

Clémentine, your roommate, stop guilt-tripping him about...

"doing his accounts” on internet

and show him you're hornier than the teen on his 15-incher.

As for me,

if I get pigeon-holed as a Cougar or Milf

because I have crow's feet, that's fine by me.

Let's be the fantasy that transcends the fantasy.

The fantasy isn't gonna change,

but we're alive, aren't we?

We're all YouPorn keywords? Fine.

But you guys better be up for it.

I'd conclude with that,

or something like it.

I've been using him. Now I have to fess up.

He'll never want to see me again, for sure.

Alice, don't even think about going out with the guy!

I mean, look at you.

Crow's feet, fine, but the wrinkles,

what happens when they cover your whole face?

This must stop now.

Right now, no messing.

Sorry, I didn't see the time.

No problem. Come on.

Come in! I'm with you.

After you.

The Communist Party Central Committee met here.

I love it. Niemeyer was a genius.

He imagined the whole thing and drew up the plans

in 3 days, free of charge.

It's 50 years old and hasn't aged a bit. It's almost futuristic.

A drink?

Maybe we could go away next weekend.

A friend gave me the keys

to his folks' house in Brittany.

An amazing place on the beach.

It'd do you good to take a break.

Just a second.

What did I say?

Don't push it.

Go to bed. Fine.

Goodnight.

Zoe could come, too.

To Brittany. Zoe could come, too.

I've got the intern role down pat.

I just need to check there's a copy shop out there...

It's a bit early for that.

Of course. It's a bit early.

I tend to...

It's crazy.

I want to be with you all the time.

I took my temperature 3 times today, but I'm not sick.

I'm just frazzled to have met you.

Put her on.

Zoe, what did we agree?

We agreed you'd obey Chantal and go to bed right away.

No, don't argue.

You're scary.

I can't stay long.

The life of a working mother.

I can handle it.

Sure?

Of course.

You'll wait on the landing for Zoe to go to bed, to watch a DVD with me?

I love your landing, so sure.

My movie knowledge is so limited, I'd...

I'm serious.

With me, you can rule out

partying till 3 in the morning or impromptu weekends away.

I'm a stay-home type.

But you need to do that stuff at your age.

I'd hate myself for stopping you.

Just think,

when I'm 40,

you'll be 21.

And when I'm 50, you'll be 31.

I mean,

what'll happen

when we've seen each other over and over?

What are you saying?

I don't think it's a good idea to see each other.

I don't get it. You were having fun for once.

How'd he take it?

Take what?

The tight-ass uptown girl set-up. You told him, I hope.

So his love-life doesn't start off traumatized by women.

Sure, I told him.

You told him? You explained?

Over 1,000 emails in three days.

Your article about YouPorn.

Comments from all over France. Amazing!

-How's Balthazar? -Great.

I loved hanging with him.

Come to the Midnight Juggernauts' after-show party.

Midnight what?

Forget it.

The after-show party?

It was your idea, wasn't it?

Charlotte?

What happened? Who did that?

Who do you think?

She says Charlotte dissed her.

Your daughter's very touchy.

Just tell the story.

Then Charlotte showed everybody something on her iPhone

and Zoe lost it.

On her iPhone?

Is he 18, at least?

What's wrong?

You're pretty videogenic.

Stop it!

Zoe'll get over it. If I pay for years in analysis.

You can talk!

I sure can.

Agathe will be 29 in December. That's almost 30.

It's different, I'm a guy!

Don't be a jerk! How can you be so stupid?

Aren't you paid to think?

Don't blame Zoe for 25 centuries of social history.

Here's social history!

Excuse me, sir...

Thank you.

Explain it to her.

Zoe, Zoe, wait! What's the problem?

I'm talking to you!

You only met last month.

3 days after I met your mother, she was pregnant.

Precisely.

Meeting your friend?

You two can manage?

Sure, kitten, it's all under control.

-Thanks, Balt. -No problem.

Look at that.

Look!

Your new mom.

I'm taking her to Bali. You'll have the apartment to yourself.

Take good care of it.

You hear me?

Tha's shit!

You okay?

Fine.

Is it her again? The wrinklie?

I remember when I was roughly your age,

I met a woman from Calabria. Francesca.

Sublime. And twice my age.

She taught me everything.

We made love until we were beat. I'll spare you the details.

I'd never got off like that.

It seemed destined to last forever.

I was fulfilled. Physically and spiritually...

Spiritually?

Yes. One day, for some reason,

I felt kind of...

I felt kind of weary. Zonked.

It worried me obviously, so I went to the doctor's.

I walked into his office

and saw this intern standing there...

A dark-skinned brunette. A masterpiece!

As soon as she closed the door, we fucked and fucked...

I grabbed hold of her, span her...

Dad.

Wrap it up.

It was like studying classical and getting a feel for modern, see?

No, I don't see.

Come for dinner tonight.

I can't tonight.

Why not?

I have work to do...

You don't want to.

That's irrelevant. What are you talking about?

I just need an early night.

-Are you sure you're okay? -I'm fine.

-Alice. -Yes!

Remember me?

Not really!

Arnaud Gaillard.

Twelfth grade.

Peperoni.

Peperoni. With lots of...

I didn't recognize you.

What are you doing here?

I was playing squash.

Are you single?

Sorry?

I mean, no wife or children or anything?

Not as far as I know.

We'll get on with our shopping. See you, Arnaud.

See you around.

Arnaud, of course!

Your friend with acne issues.

He's lovely.

-Why didn't you get his number? -Why'd I do that?

You need it to call him.

-Babette, give me space. -What's wrong?

Is it work? Come and...

Cut it out!

Stop throwing me at men.

I don't.

It's like you're transferring things onto me.

Find a lover, see your shrink, but back off.

Don't blame me if you don't get any sex.

Seriously!

On your feet.

Everybody on best behavior. Elegance!

Simon, especially.

Everything okay?

What time is it?

Tracy!

Tracy what a pleasure. You're fantastic.

Watch out there are smoke detectors.

You know my staff

of course, Alice Lantins.

Hi it's a pleasure.

This is the cover for the next month.

Rebel in front of the cover, or it's behind

and we have text here,

more text ans this is the pink version.

I love pink it's fantastic.

You know Pinky Winky.

Yeah, it works fine.

It works fine.

It won't work.

What is the problem Tracy?

It's the typest? The lay out?

No, that's great

but that male model over there he looks

like he just had a gastric flu.

Excuse me Tracy but it's Louis Gradel, you know.

He is very famous in France.

Versace, Dior. Alice isn't it? Lanvin.

He looks the right asshole.

Maybe him?

Him?

Maybe him?

What do you think about him?

I won't even want him as my cleaner.

God, choosing is not that difficult!

Shit!

It is not the guy who helped that girl at the show?

-Who? -Who?

Him! You know him don't you?

Of course she knows him, she knows him very well.

-You like him? - I think so...

we need someone different, someone unusual.

Yes it's a great idea.

Exactly what I had in my mind. Isn't it?

No, no, no.

He will be a very nice model.

No, no the nice model.

Alice he will be great!

-No the nice model. -Is very nice!

Tracy I mean, I don't think it's a good idea.

I beg your pardon?

Do you want the job?

He's not a model. He'll never do it.

Isn't he your plaything?

Yes, but he's got exams and he's incredibly conscientious.

This is how it is...

If you drop me in shit, get up to speed

on your regional fireplaces.

You hear what I'm saying?

Does that suit you like...

You've reached Balthazar. Leave a message after the beep.

The country, the city and suburbs, old and new buildings,

the property market's reeling. Let's take a closer look at...

One of the icons of gynocracy,

this particular mantis selects its sexual partners

from young males of the species...

Yes, of course.

I'll call you tonight. I'll call.

What the hell!

What have you done?

Are you sick?

Are you okay?

Start by jumping in the shower.

Shit, what the hell is that?

Balthazar! It's me, Alice.

Open up, please.

Coming!

-It's her. -Who?

Alice. Go talk to her.

Don't open the door. She'll think I'm a junkie.

Quickly!

Get dressed.

It stinks like hell.

Nothing's clean.

Shit.

Take my shirt.

Leave everything to me. Goon!

Hello.

Can I come in?

Can I get you something?

Sure...

Pineapple juice?

I'll see if I have that.

Evening, Alice.

Are you okay?

I knew there was one left.

You get older and think you get wiser but...

She didn't come.

I waited for her but she never came.

I'm sorry.

Run your fingers through my hair, will you?

Thank you!

-Let's go out for that drink. -Right.

Let's go.

Here...

Staying off the hard stuff.

Definitely.

Your dad looks in a bad way. I hope he gets over it.

He'll get over it.

He's tough.

It's good to see you.

I don't know where to begin.

I have a favor to ask.

Photos? I'm not a photographer.

No, photos of you.

For the cover, in fact.

It's one day's work and it pays well. Very well.

With the most beautiful girls on the planet.

It sounds fun, doesn't it?

It was nice to see you, but let's leave it at that.

I'll let you know.

Sorry to pester you, it's me again. Call me back, will you?

-It's all okay. He's on his way. -You're sure?

He better be.

They said a pond, it's a puddle!

Look...

Patrick, darling!

Stop, you look sick.

You're in great shape, though.

Quit licking my ass, I gotta fart.

Who are we waiting for? How? And why?

Yeah, who and why?

Nobody's waiting.

The person was stuck in traffic but...

Kim!

We are waiting you!

Can I have a word?

What are you doing?

How about you tell them he won't show?

-Says who? He'll call me. -He's not coming. Tell them straight.

The idea is I wait in a pool of piss for a guy nobody knows?

Waiting for nobody.

They pay you to talk shit?

Patrick, it's a beautiful day. Take it easy. Chill out.

Damn! Kim, set up some reflectors out there.

We need to talk.

I don't think Balthazar...

He's through security. I'll send him straight to makeup.

-Thanks. -No problem.

You were saying? Balthazar...

Just that Balthazar's here. I'll check in on him.

Got an itch you wanna scratch?

You stay with Patrick, will you?

Okay.

Don't be so melodramatic, mom. It's a real pain.

Of course not.

I never said that.

Looks like fun.

I feel like a midget but besides that...

Go on.

You're never too small, son.

Chest out!

Good morning, Balthazar.

I'll tell people you're here. Marco's ready in HMC.

I'm looking for the hairdresser.

So you stop the first gay guy, thinking he'll cut your hair?

Great. Very open-minded.

Over here, sweetie.

This'll haunt me for years.

Simon. Remember me?

The art exhibit.

I thought you wouldn't show.

Good job. Hats off to you.

Respect. A class act.

I mean, she totally stitched you up.

In fact, I wanted

to apologize in person. I don't know if Alice said,

but I was behind the whole dumb idea.

-What dumb idea? -It was a dumb idea.

Now I know you a bit better, it really was a dumb idea.

Yeah, right...

How dumb?

Look, it's Dujardin Lite.

This is where it all happens?

No way. That's Balthazar?

Don't I get a hello?

Sure...

A problem?

Right, let's do it!

Same again. Lose the bovine expression on the left.

Eyebrows down.

Jennifer, make an effort.

Behind the bubble.

Something Tuscan about him. Florentine, even.

That's good.

Not for me.

Try to be sensual.

Forget it. Try childlike instead.

Great presence. Photogenic. Reminds me of...

The dark one on the right,

are you a model or lost? Back with us, please.

Nearer the bubble.

Behind the bubble, in fact.

Antonella, just look more intelligent please.

Always like that ? C'est normal?

Baltimore, what's up?

Balthazar.

How about a smile?

What's up? You farted in your bubble?

Would you mind being polite?

Can't hear.

I said, would you mind being polite?

Louder!

Be polite. Stop yelling at people. It's not right.

A problem?

You bet. A union activist on the loose.

Patrick, don't be rude. Just calm down now, please.

Me calm down?

I'm busting my balls here.

I've seen happier zombies!

The boy in the bubble on summer camp!

Thanks and goodbye.

I'm gone.

I'm outta here.

Get the hell out then!

How do you open the damn thing?

I've had enough of this, thank you.

I'm really sorry. Are you okay?

She's a total bitch. I should've warned you.

Just let it go and apologize.

Apologize? You're joking?

You'll never see her again. Who cares?

Do it for me, please.

For you? Why didn't you say so?

Am I doing it right?

I haven't acted since 6th grade.

C'mon, you know you want it.

-What? -You turn me on.

Have you lost your mind?

What's going on?

You don't like my acting?

Right?

Sure, compared to yours...

Incredible, dammit!

I'm not a member of the Academy but you get my vote.

For best tight-ass pretending to defrost her butt

I nominate Alice Lantins!

C'mon, ladies and gentlemen, give it up.

For all she's achieved...

in her career...

So it was all for show?

Ten years on the same wavelength.

Ten years of, dare I say, friendship...

I wanted to impress you. It's as stupid as that.

I'm a fool. I end up hurting everybody.

She deserves the job.

I'm glad you should say that because...

You're fired, Alice. Fired.

I'm setting you free.

Now you'll have time to write. It's your vocation.

It's never too late to find yourself.

Never too late.

If doesn't have to play tonight, together in party.

Whisky, vodka, tequila, some lines. May be you can fuck.

Yeah, we can fuck.

Yeah, we can fuck.

No thank you I'm a little bit tired but it's nice.

-Not in the mood... -Never mind.

“I'm alone!”

You're not at work?

I thought I'd clean the house.

OK!

Your mission will be to not ask where you're headed.

The driver has absolutely no idea.

I guess you don't see him anymore.

Of course not.

Don't worry, I'll never see him again.

Please record your message.

Hi Balthazar, it's Alice.

I was just calling

because I thought maybe we could meet up

for a coffee, cup of tea or a Sprite.

I haven't had one of those in years...

Your message has been deleted.

Please re-record.

I just wanted to say...

I know you hate me but I need to talk to him.

He hasn't been in today.

Actually, he's in Hall A downstairs.

Thanks.

Alright, zero personality.

I have.

-Excuse me, do you... -Hall A? This way.

Thanks.

Traffic wasn't too bad?

No, why?

Downstairs, on the left.

This week's guest is here.

Stop the chatter, please.

You're a bit late, so sorry to rush you. Screens on either side...

The lecture outline. All you need.

Mrs. Ronchevsky...

How audacious concepts

have improved urban planning.

Why this subject?

Jean Nouvel,

Rem Koolhaas,

Friedrich...

All shared the desire to change things,

sometimes by taking the road less traveled.

Naturally, every now and then, these architects,

these great architects,

made mistakes, just like everybody else.

Huge mistakes even.

But...

What if they'd do anything to repair the damage?

You mean even on ground that's unsafe?

That's a fair point.

For example, in 2003, Flosch & Bernheim

tried to salvage the Salers lighthouse,

with disastrous consequences.

-Maybe the plans were flawed... -It's not about plans...

You're joking!

Over 2 years on surveys...

-Hold on. -6 months on hydraulistic pressure...

Shut up!

Sorry, just a minute.

In theory, raking over ruins is a sign of weakness.

In theory, yes.

But I think...

I screwed up, Balthazar.

I can't get you out of my head.

Those nights back then...

I wasn't acting.

Go on, man.

Just one thing...

After we've seen each other over and over and over,

what happens then?

-That was gross. -It was not.

You're finished?

-Finished for good? -For good.

You're not too nervous?

I'm scared to death.

Shall I come?

It's fine.

I'm there now.

Don't tell me we have to start over.

Fancy seeing you here! Incredible!

Something wrong?

That's...

Not out loud, please.

Just the opening lines.

"Newton made the discovery of a lifetime

"when an apple hit him on the head.

"With me, it was a sneaker."

Nice, modest beginning.

-Sorry. -Are you okay?

My work's spilling out.