Original subtitles

[♪]

[WATER SPLASHING]

I think it's a bad case of Specktus-on-the-flooris.

Then we should use plenty of self-a-thia-soap.

I wouldn't say yes, but I couldn't say no.

Would you say maybe?

I might.

So be it.

[PANTING]

Hey, make it snappy, you guys,

we've got three more offices to clean.

[CURLY PANTING]

You know better than that.

Uh, do I?

No. Get out of here.

[MOE SNEEZES]

Gesundheit.

MOE: Ah-ah-ah-achoo.

Hm.

[MOE SNEEZING]

Hm.

Ah-ah-ah--

[SNEEZES]

Ah-a-a.

[WHIMPERS]

[IMITATES WAR CRY]

No. Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa:

Get out of here. Ow, ow, ow, ow!

[WHINES]

Oh. A radio.

Two aerials.

[CHUCKLES]

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

[CRIES OUT]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow, ow.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Ow. Oh.

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey. See that wire?

Certainly.

Oh! Oh.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

What's the matter with you?

Get him out of there.

Oh, oh.

Why you--

[GROANS]

I'll murder you--

Well, uh--

[CRIES OUT]

[CRIES OUT]

[MUMBLES]

CURLY: Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, ah, ah, ah, a-ha-ha-ha-ha.

[LAUGHING]

Something's tickling me to death.

Hey, let's get him in front of that fluoroscope-y

and see what's inside of him.

Right, come on.

[LAUGHING]

Quiet. I'll turn on some of these gadgets,

see what happens.

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

LARRY: Look.

What do you know about that?

Oh, my.

Have I got something?

Nothing that we can't catch.

Hold still, I got an idea.

[CHUCKLES]

Got a pin?

Hand it over.

Got any bait?

Ooh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Now.

Open your mouth.

Now, swallow.

Oh, no, not that.

[GULPS]

Boy, he's going after it.

I got him.

[WHIRRING]

He's getting away.

Ah, ah, ah.

[GIBBERS]

There he is.

Hey, have you got a fishing license?

No.

Then gimme back my fish.

Here's one.

Oh. [SIREN BLARING]

Hey, something's wrong.

Come on.

Stop or I'll shoot.

Coppers, let's scram.

Grab him.

I gotta get this slug out. Find me a doctor.

Come on.

Here's a doctor.

How do you feel? I feel fine, doc.

Never mind him.

My pal's got a slug in him and I want you to take it out.

Oh, well, you'll have to come back tomorrow, the doc--

Don't give us that. You'll operate right now.

Looks like a case of life and death.

Go ahead, doc.

Okay, but we can't guarentee anything.

Meet my two assistants.

Snap it up.

Ok-- Okay.

[CRIES OUT]

Oh, gimme an anesthetic, doc. What color?

CROOK: You heard him,

he wants to be knocked out.

STOOGES: Oh.

He's out.

What'd you give him? Hammer-itus.

CROOK 2: All right, get busy.

We're going to be outside.

If anything happens to him,

there's gonna be three dead doctors.

I hope you know what you're doing, doc.

[DOOR SHUTS]

"Doc." Yeah.

You had to make a doctor out of me.

[CRIES OUT]

Well, I got to go through with it.

This is all your fault. Well, I got to go through with it.

This is all your fault.

I'll cut out your zoot suit.

LARRY: Hey, we could use this, huh?

MOE: No, we use our own tools.

I'm just praying to get my hands on that gang leader.

That's what I call service.

Take him to the station.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Let's get going.

He ran out on us.

Ya dummy, he slid out the window.

CROOK 2: Hey, how you guys coming in there?

He took a--

Quiet, we gotta do something fast.

Straighten this out.

Hey, you think them doctors know their stuff?

They'd better. Let's take a look.

Yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hemagloba. Hemagloba.

Hey, are you getting that slug out?

Don't worry, when we're through, he'll be a different man.

Heh. Would you start here?

Yes.

[CLICKING]

[GIGGLES]

Nya-a-a-a-a.

[MOE CRIES OUT]

Ow!

Did you get the slug?

The slug bit me.

Selphodemis.

Selphodemis!

Selphodemis.

[WHIMPERING]

[SQUEAKS]

Selphodemis don't work very good.

[HONKS] Selphodemis don't work very good.

[HONKS]

I think I got something.

They're taking him apart.

That ought to be enough.

He won't need this anyhow.

They're gone. Let's go.

[WHIMPERING]

[SCREAMS]

What are you doing out there?

Come on in here.

Oh, a wise guy.

Stand up-- Over here. What's the matter with you?

What's the idea trying to get away before us?

I ought to bat your eyes out.

[SIRENS BLARING]

That way, that way. Go ahead.

There's cops all over the place.

Let's get Joe and beat it.

CROOK 2: Yeah, let's make it snappy too.

Hey, Joe. Come on, we gotta scram.

[SPRING BOINGS]

They picked him clean.

Listen.

There's three of them. Don't take any chances.

Shoot 'em on sight. Right.

We must have killed that guy.

The cops are after us. There they are!

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOTS]

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

What's the matter with you? Go ahead. Come on.

[WHISTLES]

Na-a-a-a.

[WHISTLES]

[CURLY WHISTLING]

What's the matter with you? Can't you hear me whistle?

There must be something wrong with my drums.

I'll fix that. [CRIES OUT]

Now, you guys follow me. When?

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Now.

Na-a-a-a-a. [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Now.

Na-a-a-a-a.

Hey, did you see three fellas come up here?

No, sir.

Well, if you do, grab them, they're killers.

Yes, sir.

What!?

Who's going to grab who?

[SCREAMS]

Attaboy.

Hang on, kid.

Don't let him in. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[CRIES OUT]

[SCREAMS]

Ow!

[BARKS]

I really don't like that.

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry.

Where are you?

Hey, fellas, where are you? I--

[CRIES OUT]

[MAKES WEIRD NOISE]

In the box, there's room for both of us.

Open the latch.

Ah-h-h-h!

Look.

[SCREAMS]

[WHINING]

Ah!

What's the idea scaring people?

Oh. Listen, you--

Hey, quiet.

You stay out of this, we-- Oh-oh-oh!

[CRIES OUT]

[CRIES OUT]

You sure is ugly.

[CRIES OUT]

Hey, now, you follow me.

[SCREAMS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

We better hide this dough in case the cops get us.

They won't have anything on us.

How about hiding inside this dummy.

Good. Pull his head off.

Ah, it's stuck. We'll have to cut it off.

Hey, you can't do that.

Why not?

Well, you see, you co-- You just--

[DOOR SHUTS]

It's-- Hey, you got us wrong.

Yeah, but we got'cha. Come on. Come on.

Oh.

Hey, Moe. Where were you?

I just knocked a guy cold right here.

I was on that side.

He was on this side.

Just as he bent over--

[BABBLES]

Now you're right there.

Ah--

Hm.

Ah-ah.

[SQUEALS]

[SCREAMS]

[WATCHMAN SCREAMS]

Hey, wait a minute, the door's locked.

BOTH: Na-a-a-a-a.

[♪]