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1
00:01:18,455 --> 00:01:25,258
* On the mountain top *
2
00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:35,167
* I see something black *
3
00:01:41,545 --> 00:01:45,413
* Is it cow shit *
4
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:52,086
* Or my beloved *
5
00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:55,815
Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen...
6
00:01:55,926 --> 00:01:57,860
and welcome once again
to The Crazy Daisy Show.
7
00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:01,089
We have sophisticated entertainment,
a window into reality...
8
00:02:01,198 --> 00:02:03,564
a breath of cold air
from another world.
9
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:09,230
As the Chastity Belt Foundation and
the Aristotle Aplanalp chain stores...
10
00:02:09,339 --> 00:02:14,003
proudly present the semifinalists
in the Miss World 1984 Contest!
11
00:02:14,111 --> 00:02:16,875
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it
gives me a great deal of pleasure...
12
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,744
to present Mrs. Martha Aplanalp,
well-known philanthropist...
13
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:22,318
and chairman of the
Chastity Belt Foundation.
14
00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:25,877
A great sponsor
and a great mother.
15
00:02:28,158 --> 00:02:31,559
**
16
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:21,100
Dear Mrs. Martha, first the question,
why the Chastity Belt Foundation?
17
00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:24,146
Surely in these modern times that
seems to be a bit old-fashioned.
18
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,909
Oh, we're not old-fashioned...
not in the least.
19
00:03:27,017 --> 00:03:31,317
At Chastity Belt,
there are no metals...
20
00:03:31,421 --> 00:03:33,719
no elastic supports...
21
00:03:33,824 --> 00:03:35,724
no tranquilizers.
22
00:03:35,826 --> 00:03:38,556
Through the guidance of
our sensational method...
23
00:03:38,662 --> 00:03:41,631
your own body kills the animal.
24
00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:46,130
We advocate simple
triumph of the will.
25
00:03:46,236 --> 00:03:49,399
It is painless and
ever so rewarding.
26
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,465
No wild dreams.
27
00:03:52,576 --> 00:03:55,704
No... No peculiar behavior.
28
00:03:55,812 --> 00:03:58,872
Solid health and
purposeful direction.
29
00:03:58,982 --> 00:04:02,543
It's so good to hear about health and
purposeful direction in these sick times.
30
00:04:02,652 --> 00:04:07,055
Right on! Sock it to me, baby.
31
00:04:07,157 --> 00:04:12,618
A network of muscles forms the
protective armor around the pelvic region.
32
00:04:12,729 --> 00:04:16,495
If not controlled
and kept at bay...
33
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:21,537
wild impulses will turn
everyone into beastly animals...
34
00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:24,539
chaotic natural beings.
35
00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:30,012
Semifinalists from 77 countries have
been selected and sent here this evening.
36
00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:32,274
They are, of course, the
most desirable, prominent...
37
00:04:32,382 --> 00:04:34,612
and well-preserved
virgins available.
38
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:40,419
This year's stake for the lucky
young winner is $50 billion.
39
00:04:40,524 --> 00:04:43,891
Fifty billion dollars, the
estimated fortune of Mr. Aplanalp...
40
00:04:43,994 --> 00:04:48,260
uh, Mrs. Martha Aplanalp's
boy, her pride and joy.
41
00:04:48,365 --> 00:04:50,731
The richest bachelor
in the world...
42
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:54,270
who decided suddenly this summer
to give up his bachelorhood...
43
00:04:54,371 --> 00:04:57,465
to sponsor the Miss World
Contest and marry the winner...
44
00:04:57,574 --> 00:04:59,940
the most cherished girl
on the planet Earth.
45
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:01,943
There's a saying in
the Aplanalp family:
46
00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:07,176
"When we buy something, we buy
the best, and we buy it brand-new."
47
00:05:07,284 --> 00:05:10,515
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, Dr. Mittlefinger.
48
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:15,156
Turn over here, Doctor.
49
00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:18,091
Yes, uh, Dr. Mittlefinger
certainly is an extraordinary man.
50
00:05:18,195 --> 00:05:21,961
Um, has to his credit the
delivery of three army generals...
51
00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:25,466
four members of Parliament,
Eskimo sextuplets, uh...
52
00:05:25,569 --> 00:05:28,970
and, of course, many, many
more people... and women.
53
00:05:29,072 --> 00:05:32,803
I, uh... I'm really thrilled to be able
to perform at this important function...
54
00:05:32,909 --> 00:05:36,310
and, uh, I'm anticipating
some delightful specimens.
55
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:40,008
Each new flower brings a
new joy, a new excitement.
56
00:05:40,116 --> 00:05:42,141
Can we start the show?
57
00:05:42,252 --> 00:05:45,449
Of course. Uh, so let's meet
now the first contestant...
58
00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:47,819
Miss Southern Rhodesia.
59
00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:55,129
Another historical moment,
a window into reality...
60
00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:57,496
an event never attempted
live on television before...
61
00:05:57,601 --> 00:05:59,762
and coming to you on
The Crazy Daisy Show.
62
00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:01,838
If you'll just step up here.
63
00:06:22,492 --> 00:06:24,926
Would you be good enough
to remove your pants?
64
00:06:25,028 --> 00:06:26,928
Oh, my pleasure.
65
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:28,930
- Dr. Mittlefinger...
- So kind.
66
00:06:29,032 --> 00:06:34,561
brilliant master of deep
insights and even deeper insights.
67
00:06:34,671 --> 00:06:39,074
Innovative explorer of the
abysses of the human body and soul.
68
00:06:39,175 --> 00:06:41,905
Tell us, Miss, uh, Southern Rhodesia.
Tell us, how do you feel now?
69
00:06:42,012 --> 00:06:45,914
Oh, I'm great. Oh!
70
00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:48,007
What's happening?
71
00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:50,848
You're tickling me.
72
00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:54,481
I'm really sensitive. You're
tickling me with your little light.
73
00:06:54,591 --> 00:06:56,855
This little light.
74
00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,020
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
we proudly present Miss Congo.
75
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:19,773
Remove your panties
please, honey.
76
00:07:19,883 --> 00:07:21,874
Hey, baby. You mean my bananas?
77
00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:25,785
Oh, yes, of course. Delicious.
78
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:36,956
There are different types of hymen,
a delicate little piece of skin...
79
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:42,004
that informs us about a girl's initiation
into the world of adult pleasures.
80
00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:47,099
I mean the sinful, disgusting
pleasures of the flesh...
81
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:49,678
and unusual sensual...
82
00:07:49,779 --> 00:07:51,679
excitation.
83
00:07:57,921 --> 00:08:02,153
Now, here comes Miss Yugoslavia,
a picture of radiant health.
84
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:13,234
Yes, well, this young lady
is certainly self-assured.
85
00:08:52,242 --> 00:08:54,574
Now, moving right along, folks...
86
00:08:54,677 --> 00:08:57,703
let's meet Mademoiselle Canada.
87
00:09:18,635 --> 00:09:20,603
Would you take your
pants off, please?
88
00:09:20,703 --> 00:09:22,728
I don't wear any.
89
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,933
You never wear any pants?
90
00:09:26,042 --> 00:09:28,510
Not for a special
occasion like this.
91
00:09:36,286 --> 00:09:39,050
Splendid. Splendid.
92
00:09:39,155 --> 00:09:41,623
By far the most
beautiful thing here.
93
00:09:43,693 --> 00:09:49,063
In all my years of practice,
I've never seen anything so sweet.
94
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,200
A rosebud.
95
00:10:28,438 --> 00:10:32,067
* The whole world
is our country *
96
00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:35,472
* Liberty is our law *
97
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:40,377
* And just one thought... *
98
00:10:40,483 --> 00:10:43,850
* The whole world
is our country *
99
00:10:43,953 --> 00:10:47,116
* Liberty is our law *
100
00:10:47,223 --> 00:10:52,718
*Just one thought
burns in our hearts *
101
00:10:53,096 --> 00:10:58,193
* Wanderers on land *
102
00:10:58,768 --> 00:11:03,228
* And sea *
103
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:08,069
* For an idea *
104
00:11:08,411 --> 00:11:11,209
* We leave our
loved ones behind *
105
00:11:11,314 --> 00:11:14,647
* The whole world
is our country *
106
00:11:14,751 --> 00:11:17,618
* Liberty is our law *
107
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:22,714
* And just one thought... *
108
00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:26,124
* The whole world
is our country *
109
00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:29,357
* Liberty is our law *
110
00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:35,301
*Just one thought
burns in our hearts *
111
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:40,570
* But all your exiled people *
112
00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:45,612
* Shall return to you *
113
00:11:45,982 --> 00:11:51,147
* And brandish the torch *
114
00:11:51,354 --> 00:11:53,322
* To demand their rights *
115
00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:56,688
* The whole world
is our country *
116
00:11:56,793 --> 00:12:00,058
* Liberty is our law *
117
00:12:00,163 --> 00:12:04,657
* And just one thought... *
118
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:08,168
* The whole world
is our country *
119
00:12:08,271 --> 00:12:11,502
* Liberty is our law *
120
00:12:11,608 --> 00:12:16,705
*Just one thought
burns in our hearts **
121
00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:26,120
When I buy something,
I always buy the best.
122
00:12:26,222 --> 00:12:30,022
You know,yesterday, I bought
a diamond mine in South Africa.
123
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,959
Today, another buy.
124
00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:35,530
The best-bred bride available.
125
00:12:38,768 --> 00:12:42,295
Must be about 785 diamonds
in there. You know that?
126
00:12:42,405 --> 00:12:45,169
- About that?
- Oh, yeah. Maybe more.
127
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:47,266
And they all came
from my diamond mine.
128
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:50,278
Yeah!
129
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,144
Yes, sir, baby. Here we go.
130
00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:03,959
Yeah. Hand-carved.
131
00:13:06,362 --> 00:13:08,330
- You know who this fella is?
- No.
132
00:13:08,431 --> 00:13:10,831
That's Karl. Karl Marx!
133
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:12,833
Yeah.
134
00:13:12,935 --> 00:13:16,393
He's the guy that shot the Russian czar.
Yeah. Shot him dead, right in the head. Yeah.
135
00:13:16,506 --> 00:13:19,304
That started World
War I, honey. Yeah!
136
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:26,910
I got it from a Russian
business connection. Yeah.
137
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,916
He buys a lot of my diamonds.
138
00:13:29,018 --> 00:13:31,509
- You see that little fountain down there?
- Yes.
139
00:13:31,621 --> 00:13:33,521
That's my next buy. Yeah!
140
00:13:33,623 --> 00:13:37,286
It's gonna be my biggest undertaking
in landscape architecture.
141
00:13:37,393 --> 00:13:39,554
I'm gonna buy it from
the Canadian government.
142
00:13:40,596 --> 00:13:42,791
I'm gonna renovate
it, redecorate it.
143
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:47,063
Get rid of the water,
turn off the falls.
144
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:51,834
I'm gonna install an
electronic, synthetic...
145
00:13:51,941 --> 00:13:54,034
laser moving image
in livin' color.
146
00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:56,304
In livin' color, honey! Yeah.
147
00:13:56,412 --> 00:13:59,347
And we're gonna have a huge
quadraphonic sound system.
148
00:13:59,449 --> 00:14:01,917
Yeah! Of the royal waters. Yeah!
149
00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:06,578
We're gonna have the best sight
and sound system available. Yeah.
150
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:10,090
Unaffected by weather conditions.
151
00:14:20,136 --> 00:14:22,468
My empire.
152
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:24,904
Milk for the entire country.
153
00:15:26,002 --> 00:15:27,970
Let's see the bride.
154
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:30,630
- Whoo!
- Hey!
155
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:41,342
Mama!
156
00:15:41,451 --> 00:15:43,419
Whoo!
157
00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:48,447
**
158
00:15:48,558 --> 00:15:51,356
Now, you may ask, do I
have time for marriage?
159
00:15:51,461 --> 00:15:56,831
And I simply state that marriage is a
great gimmick for saving money and time...
160
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:59,561
which is money!
161
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:02,604
I have come to understand
the real meaning of marriage.
162
00:16:02,705 --> 00:16:05,299
I simply can't
afford any more waste.
163
00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:08,809
I can't afford any more
chaos in my sex life.
164
00:16:08,911 --> 00:16:13,405
All right. Everyone has to
relieve himself, but why waste it?
165
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:18,453
Okay. You bang some broad, you
feel good for a half a second...
166
00:16:18,554 --> 00:16:21,853
but then you realize you've gotta run
to the phone to call your doctor...
167
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:24,085
'cause you gotta
have a V.D. test.
168
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,593
You soothe your balls...
169
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:28,596
and you get a headache.
170
00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:31,258
- That's right, my son.
- Well, not for me no more.
171
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:33,335
I guarantee that.
172
00:16:33,436 --> 00:16:38,135
My mama kept telling me,
"Son, look after your health."
173
00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:42,041
Well, Ma, I sure as hell aim to.
174
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:45,910
Come over here, honey. Best little
heifer in town. In the world!
175
00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:49,212
No chemical substitutes.
176
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:52,219
All ingredients checked
and double-checked...
177
00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:54,585
and certified pure.
178
00:16:56,959 --> 00:17:00,725
Not an easy thing to
find these days, is it?
179
00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:02,730
Well, I done it.
180
00:17:02,832 --> 00:17:05,858
So now I have acquired
a lady of the house...
181
00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:08,095
a personal jewel...
182
00:17:08,204 --> 00:17:10,104
but above all...
183
00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:14,336
a purified sanitation
system for unchecked waste.
184
00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,286
Hey! Hey!
185
00:21:29,031 --> 00:21:32,023
Hey, Mama! Yahoo!
186
00:21:34,203 --> 00:21:36,603
Hey, Mama! Yahoo!
187
00:22:14,677 --> 00:22:18,169
* Is there life on the Earth *
188
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,044
* Is there life after birth *
189
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:23,812
* Is there life on the Earth *
190
00:22:23,919 --> 00:22:29,289
* Is there life after birth *
191
00:22:31,594 --> 00:22:34,392
* It's a joy to be alive *
192
00:22:34,496 --> 00:22:37,954
* It's good to be glad *
193
00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:40,627
* Good to survive *
194
00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:46,504
* It's great to be mad *
195
00:22:46,609 --> 00:22:49,373
* It's fun to have nothing *
196
00:22:49,478 --> 00:22:52,072
* Do things in the nude *
197
00:22:52,181 --> 00:22:55,082
* Oh, it's sweet to be hungry *
198
00:22:55,184 --> 00:22:59,814
* It's finger-licking good *
199
00:22:59,922 --> 00:23:02,823
* Is there life on the Earth *
200
00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:05,553
* Is there life after birth *
201
00:23:05,661 --> 00:23:08,494
* Is there life on the Earth *
202
00:23:08,597 --> 00:23:10,929
* Is there life after birth *
203
00:23:11,033 --> 00:23:14,196
* Is there life on the Earth *
204
00:23:14,303 --> 00:23:16,999
* Is there life after birth *
205
00:23:17,106 --> 00:23:19,734
* Is there life on the Earth *
206
00:23:19,842 --> 00:23:24,677
* Is there life after birth *
207
00:23:27,216 --> 00:23:30,413
* It's a joy to be crazy *
208
00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:33,420
* It's good to be sad *
209
00:23:33,522 --> 00:23:35,683
* It's good to be lazy *
210
00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:40,421
* Great to be bad *
211
00:23:42,031 --> 00:23:44,761
* It's good to be lucky *
212
00:23:44,867 --> 00:23:47,859
* Good to practice deadly sin *
213
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:50,461
* To die for a cause *
214
00:23:50,572 --> 00:23:55,236
* To be alive and to win *
215
00:23:55,344 --> 00:23:58,313
* Is there life on the Earth *
216
00:23:58,414 --> 00:24:01,247
* Is there life after birth *
217
00:24:01,350 --> 00:24:04,046
* Is there life on the Earth *
218
00:24:04,153 --> 00:24:06,951
* Is there life after birth *
219
00:24:07,056 --> 00:24:09,991
* Is there life on the Earth *
220
00:24:10,092 --> 00:24:12,822
* Is there life after birth *
221
00:24:12,928 --> 00:24:15,396
* Is there life on the Earth *
222
00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:20,730
* Is there life after birth **
223
00:24:40,389 --> 00:24:41,754
Hey, Potemkin!
224
00:24:41,957 --> 00:24:44,755
Aren't you from that famous
revolution that failed?
225
00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:47,795
I mean the one in 1905.
226
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:52,326
Captain, I am your new lover.
227
00:24:54,103 --> 00:24:56,128
The annunciation!
228
00:24:58,807 --> 00:25:00,399
I'm starving for love.
229
00:25:00,609 --> 00:25:02,338
I'm hungry for love.
230
00:25:03,312 --> 00:25:07,442
Those who starve
know how to make love.
231
00:25:10,486 --> 00:25:13,216
They're charged with electricity.
232
00:25:14,923 --> 00:25:16,823
Where is this boat going?
233
00:25:17,092 --> 00:25:18,684
All the way.
234
00:25:21,163 --> 00:25:22,596
All the way?
235
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,992
To the bottom.
236
00:25:34,143 --> 00:25:38,807
You need a good sailor on this
boat. Come. I'll treat you well.
237
00:25:40,549 --> 00:25:43,109
What a joy to meet...
238
00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:46,217
an authentic...
239
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:50,453
sexual proletarian!
240
00:25:55,931 --> 00:25:57,728
Beast!
241
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:20,215
Fascination!
242
00:26:27,162 --> 00:26:29,027
Forward!
243
00:26:29,331 --> 00:26:31,799
Optimistic tragedy!
244
00:26:42,978 --> 00:26:45,640
Oh, sailor!
245
00:26:53,388 --> 00:26:56,551
Stick your sword in!
You won't hurt her!
246
00:27:00,262 --> 00:27:03,527
"Man"
- how proud that word sounds!
247
00:27:06,468 --> 00:27:10,962
* Forward, people, to battle *
248
00:27:11,306 --> 00:27:16,073
* The red flag, the red flag *
249
00:27:16,178 --> 00:27:20,979
* Forward, people, to battle *
250
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:24,951
* The red flag will triumph *
251
00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:30,420
* The red flag will triumph *
252
00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:34,462
* The red flag will triumph *
253
00:27:34,563 --> 00:27:38,363
* The red flag will triumph *
254
00:27:38,467 --> 00:27:42,528
* Long live communism
and freedom *
255
00:27:42,638 --> 00:27:45,766
* Forward, people, to battle *
256
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:48,934
* The red flag, the red flag *
257
00:27:49,044 --> 00:27:51,842
* Forward, people, to battle *
258
00:27:51,947 --> 00:27:54,848
* The red flag will triumph **
259
00:27:54,950 --> 00:27:58,477
* Forward, people, to battle *
260
00:27:58,587 --> 00:28:02,250
* The red flag, the red flag *
261
00:28:02,357 --> 00:28:06,088
* Forward, people, to battle *
262
00:28:06,195 --> 00:28:09,687
* The red flag will triumph *
263
00:28:09,798 --> 00:28:13,199
* The red flag will triumph *
264
00:28:13,302 --> 00:28:16,396
* The red flag will triumph **
265
00:28:18,941 --> 00:28:21,000
I expected something
else to happen.
266
00:28:21,109 --> 00:28:24,601
Nonsense. He can do anything. He's the
most powerful millionaire in the world.
267
00:28:24,713 --> 00:28:29,013
Which means, quite simply, that for your
own good, you better forget this marriage.
268
00:28:29,117 --> 00:28:31,381
Then I think I
should get alimony.
269
00:28:31,486 --> 00:28:33,977
I advise you strongly...
270
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:36,284
to refrain from
thinking anything.
271
00:28:36,391 --> 00:28:41,124
Thinking sometimes can be
a very dangerous exercise.
272
00:28:41,230 --> 00:28:43,357
Very dangerous indeed.
273
00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:47,134
Hmm. This is insane.
274
00:28:47,236 --> 00:28:49,136
Yes.
275
00:28:49,238 --> 00:28:52,799
Maybe we should ask for
a psychiatric examination.
276
00:28:52,908 --> 00:28:57,208
There are people with similar
symptoms. They become confused.
277
00:28:57,312 --> 00:29:02,944
They spend the rest of their
lives behind the walls of asylums.
278
00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:20,931
- This house is mine!
- Forget it!
279
00:29:25,907 --> 00:29:27,807
- Alimony!
- Oh, yeah?
280
00:29:27,909 --> 00:29:29,877
Never!
281
00:29:36,685 --> 00:29:38,243
Be reasonable!
282
00:30:01,910 --> 00:30:04,208
Jeremiah. Jeremiah.
283
00:30:05,981 --> 00:30:08,415
Take care of her, Jeremiah.
284
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:23,960
This is mine! This is mine!
285
00:30:24,066 --> 00:30:27,058
This is mine! Mine!
286
00:30:28,170 --> 00:30:30,968
Take care of her,Jeremiah.
287
00:30:31,073 --> 00:30:33,041
She's overtired.
288
00:30:34,409 --> 00:30:36,877
She doesn't feel very well.
289
00:30:36,978 --> 00:30:39,742
Poor girl.
290
00:31:50,852 --> 00:31:52,911
Where am I? Oh!
291
00:31:56,892 --> 00:32:00,055
Hitler! Dirty Jew.
292
00:32:00,162 --> 00:32:02,790
They call me Neanderthal.
293
00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:08,060
Fascist pig!
294
00:32:08,170 --> 00:32:10,638
I'm not just anybody.
295
00:32:11,673 --> 00:32:13,732
Dirty Commie.
296
00:32:13,842 --> 00:32:17,471
Why, they even wanted
to put me on exhibit...
297
00:32:18,847 --> 00:32:21,281
in the Museum of
Natural Sciences.
298
00:32:27,923 --> 00:32:30,983
My portrait is used
in Szondy's test.
299
00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:37,329
I am listed in Krafft-Ebing.
300
00:32:37,432 --> 00:32:39,696
I am a certified psychopath.
301
00:32:39,801 --> 00:32:43,430
I am even quoted
by Lombroso. And...
302
00:32:43,538 --> 00:32:46,530
my size is superhuman.
303
00:33:12,467 --> 00:33:15,197
- Afraid?
- No.
304
00:33:15,303 --> 00:33:17,271
Hmm.
305
00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:19,431
I have my own advertising slogan:
306
00:33:19,541 --> 00:33:21,600
Try me. I'm delicious.
307
00:33:26,448 --> 00:33:28,609
See this chocolate complexion?
308
00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:33,187
Try it.
309
00:33:49,437 --> 00:33:51,837
It's sweet.
310
00:33:51,940 --> 00:33:54,306
Finger-licking good.
311
00:34:06,187 --> 00:34:08,678
Ooh.
312
00:34:10,025 --> 00:34:12,721
I'm Catholic, and it's
a spiritual thing for me.
313
00:34:12,827 --> 00:34:15,318
I'm Muslim, and I have
a real thing for you.
314
00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:18,194
Oh.
315
00:34:21,636 --> 00:34:24,503
Oh, you damned fool!
316
00:34:24,606 --> 00:34:27,666
This is my only property.
This is my diamond mine.
317
00:34:32,614 --> 00:34:35,139
I'll do something to you
that my father taught me.
318
00:35:08,049 --> 00:35:09,983
Are you happy?
319
00:35:18,226 --> 00:35:21,059
- Hello, sir. Where are you off to today?
- Oh. Paris.
320
00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:23,653
May I have your ticket,
please? Thank you.
321
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,426
It weighs a ton. What
have you got in there?
322
00:35:28,536 --> 00:35:30,595
Oh, books. Lots of them.
323
00:35:30,705 --> 00:35:35,005
Books weigh a lot. I'm taking a
refresher course in philosophy.
324
00:35:35,110 --> 00:35:38,671
Marcuse, Supek, Vranicki, Sartre.
325
00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:42,944
- You know, i-i-it's heavy. -
That would be 55 pounds overweight.
326
00:35:43,051 --> 00:35:45,611
Oh, I'll pay the difference.
327
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:47,688
Thank you very much.
328
00:35:53,228 --> 00:35:55,196
Thank you.
329
00:36:58,793 --> 00:37:00,761
I have presents for you.
330
00:37:01,396 --> 00:37:03,227
A real Arabian carpet.
331
00:37:04,699 --> 00:37:06,223
You like it?
332
00:37:06,568 --> 00:37:08,229
Made in China.
333
00:37:10,972 --> 00:37:14,169
Vodka from Berkeley, California.
334
00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:15,774
For you.
335
00:37:15,977 --> 00:37:17,535
And my friend...
336
00:37:19,748 --> 00:37:21,238
Leonide.
337
00:37:27,222 --> 00:37:30,248
And my name is Luv Bakunin.
338
00:37:31,392 --> 00:37:34,020
Do you like my friend?
339
00:37:43,171 --> 00:37:45,139
Oh.
340
00:37:50,745 --> 00:37:52,804
Entrust your fate to no one!
341
00:37:53,148 --> 00:37:55,878
People!
342
00:37:55,984 --> 00:37:59,715
The policeman's boot crushes
your desires and feelings.
343
00:38:00,155 --> 00:38:03,613
Let's be realistic and
demand the impossible.
344
00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:05,816
A good bath, for instance.
345
00:38:06,027 --> 00:38:07,756
I haven't had one in four months.
346
00:38:09,864 --> 00:38:12,628
* Let's be realistic, comrades *
347
00:38:12,934 --> 00:38:16,597
* And demand the impossible *
348
00:38:16,805 --> 00:38:19,774
* A hot bath, for instance **
349
00:38:29,050 --> 00:38:30,347
Don't stay here.
350
00:38:30,552 --> 00:38:32,645
This boat is full of corpses.
351
00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,912
It doesn't matter.
352
00:38:35,190 --> 00:38:37,158
The whole world
is full of corpses.
353
00:38:41,729 --> 00:38:45,495
IN THE KATYN FOREST
354
00:38:59,514 --> 00:39:04,315
*
355
00:40:01,876 --> 00:40:04,037
*
356
00:40:43,818 --> 00:40:46,651
*
357
00:41:23,591 --> 00:41:25,684
*
358
00:41:29,564 --> 00:41:33,557
* Let's be realistic, comrades *
359
00:41:33,768 --> 00:41:37,465
* And demand the impossible **
360
00:42:05,533 --> 00:42:08,798
* Is there life on the Earth *
361
00:42:08,903 --> 00:42:11,895
* Is there life after birth *
362
00:42:12,006 --> 00:42:14,634
* Is there life on the Earth *
363
00:42:14,742 --> 00:42:19,907
* Is there life after birth *
364
00:42:22,283 --> 00:42:25,275
* It's a joy to be alive *
365
00:42:25,386 --> 00:42:28,617
* It's good to be glad *
366
00:42:28,723 --> 00:42:31,191
* Good to survive *
367
00:42:31,292 --> 00:42:36,059
* It's great to be mad *
368
00:42:37,365 --> 00:42:40,095
* It's fun to have nothing *
369
00:42:40,201 --> 00:42:42,829
* Do things in the nude *
370
00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:45,872
* Oh, it's sweet to be hungry *
371
00:42:45,973 --> 00:42:50,000
* It's finger-licking good *
372
00:42:50,111 --> 00:42:53,410
* Is there life on the Earth *
373
00:42:53,514 --> 00:42:56,347
* Is there life after birth *
374
00:42:56,451 --> 00:42:59,545
* Is there life on the Earth *
375
00:42:59,654 --> 00:43:01,952
* Is there life after birth *
376
00:43:04,459 --> 00:43:06,893
The portrait. The
portrait. Somebody.
377
00:43:06,994 --> 00:43:08,894
The portrait. Get
the portrait in place.
378
00:43:24,178 --> 00:43:26,874
I want you to face the camera
and look terribly Mexican...
379
00:43:26,981 --> 00:43:29,814
'cause I didn't fly you all over
here to look like a French extra.
380
00:43:29,917 --> 00:43:32,044
And start to sing very nobly.
381
00:43:54,809 --> 00:43:59,246
* To see this world of violence *
382
00:43:59,881 --> 00:44:04,284
* And so much suffering
makes me high *
383
00:44:05,686 --> 00:44:09,816
* To live more fully I will die *
384
00:44:10,558 --> 00:44:14,961
* Such passion cries
out for forgiveness *
385
00:44:18,032 --> 00:44:23,060
* River of blood, carnage *
386
00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:26,036
* I will shout *
387
00:44:26,207 --> 00:44:29,335
* "I want more!" *
388
00:44:30,978 --> 00:44:35,312
* Night of the sun, oh my heart,
to celebrate the explosion *
389
00:44:36,651 --> 00:44:40,553
* With the motor of
history driving me on *
390
00:44:42,323 --> 00:44:48,125
* I'm a wild stallion *
391
00:44:48,296 --> 00:44:51,390
* My golden mane
flies in the wind *
392
00:44:51,566 --> 00:44:54,126
* As I seek out good times *
393
00:44:54,902 --> 00:44:59,805
* My valiant sword
stands ever ready *
394
00:44:59,907 --> 00:45:03,502
Cut! Cut! What's the
matter, love, now?
395
00:45:03,611 --> 00:45:06,637
What's got into you? Don't you know
we're working on a limited budget here?
396
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,375
Don't you know I've got to be
back in London by tomorrow night?
397
00:45:09,483 --> 00:45:12,247
Let's do it again, and this
time, let's get it bloody right!
398
00:45:12,353 --> 00:45:14,719
Rewind. Rewind.
399
00:45:14,822 --> 00:45:16,847
- So, are you ready?
- Ready.
400
00:45:19,327 --> 00:45:24,765
* To see this world of violence *
401
00:45:24,865 --> 00:45:29,893
* And so much suffering
makes me high *
402
00:45:30,938 --> 00:45:35,204
* To live more fully I will die *
403
00:45:35,943 --> 00:45:40,346
* Such passion cries
out for forgiveness *
404
00:45:43,417 --> 00:45:47,319
* River of blood, carnage *
405
00:45:48,756 --> 00:45:51,520
* I will shout *
406
00:45:51,626 --> 00:45:55,062
* "I want more!" *
407
00:45:56,230 --> 00:46:01,031
* Night of the sun, oh my heart,
to celebrate the explosion *
408
00:46:02,069 --> 00:46:07,530
* With the motor of
history driving me on *
409
00:46:07,642 --> 00:46:13,205
* I'm a wild stallion *
410
00:46:13,314 --> 00:46:16,408
* My golden mane
flies in the wind *
411
00:46:16,517 --> 00:46:19,350
* As I seek out good times *
412
00:46:19,453 --> 00:46:23,719
* My valiant sword
stands ever ready *
413
00:46:25,526 --> 00:46:30,088
* This wild stallion
cannot be tamed *
414
00:46:31,098 --> 00:46:33,692
* Stirring up passion
wherever I go *
415
00:46:33,901 --> 00:46:35,869
* This is my song *
416
00:46:35,970 --> 00:46:38,495
**
417
00:46:38,606 --> 00:46:41,302
* A thousand steeds
will rise from my grave *
418
00:46:41,409 --> 00:46:44,037
**
419
00:46:44,145 --> 00:46:47,512
* Untamed and unafraid *
420
00:47:27,588 --> 00:47:29,579
You are so beautiful.
421
00:47:31,892 --> 00:47:34,326
I know.
422
00:47:54,315 --> 00:47:57,773
Your eyes are irresistible.
423
00:48:09,530 --> 00:48:12,431
I must see you tonight.
424
00:48:13,501 --> 00:48:15,696
See me now.
425
00:48:50,070 --> 00:48:52,038
Mmm.
426
00:49:45,926 --> 00:49:48,224
Let's get a picture
of Sacr� Coeur!
427
00:49:48,429 --> 00:49:50,260
Stand right there!
428
00:49:51,298 --> 00:49:53,960
It's him! Master, we
must have a picture.
429
00:49:54,068 --> 00:49:56,036
Oh!
430
00:49:56,136 --> 00:49:57,967
Oh.
431
00:49:58,072 --> 00:50:00,097
Ow.
432
00:50:07,615 --> 00:50:09,947
At last! At last!
433
00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:12,018
Instant cinema!
434
00:50:16,957 --> 00:50:18,925
Have you sent for the doctor?
435
00:50:24,732 --> 00:50:27,326
Where's my veal chop?
436
00:50:27,434 --> 00:50:29,698
Hello, maestro.
437
00:50:29,803 --> 00:50:34,069
I knew you were a hell of a lover,
but this really knocks me out.
438
00:50:34,174 --> 00:50:36,074
And I am not easily surprised.
439
00:50:36,176 --> 00:50:38,974
Knocks me out too, se�or.
440
00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:41,343
It's a real love cramp.
441
00:50:41,982 --> 00:50:44,348
The man's organ is erect.
442
00:50:44,552 --> 00:50:47,715
The woman's love muscle
closes tightly around it.
443
00:50:47,955 --> 00:50:50,788
Sometimes it
tickles, but sometimes
444
00:50:50,991 --> 00:50:52,754
they get stuck.
445
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,985
Happens to dogs too.
446
00:50:57,531 --> 00:51:00,227
- You're gonna cut it off?
- Don't worry. Have no fear.
447
00:51:00,334 --> 00:51:02,598
- Latin lover.
- S�.
448
00:51:08,876 --> 00:51:10,935
Hors d'oeuvres for table 12.
449
00:51:11,045 --> 00:51:13,843
Ah!
450
00:51:18,052 --> 00:51:21,544
�Arriba!
451
00:51:37,805 --> 00:51:40,103
- Can I have an autograph, please?
- S�. S�.
452
00:51:40,207 --> 00:51:43,142
Will you sing something
for us, maestro, please?
453
00:51:43,243 --> 00:51:47,703
* With the motor of
history driving me on *
454
00:51:49,817 --> 00:51:55,380
* I'm a wild stallion *
455
00:51:55,489 --> 00:51:58,083
* My golden mane
flies in the wind *
456
00:51:58,192 --> 00:52:01,320
* As I seek out good times *
457
00:52:01,428 --> 00:52:05,455
* My valiant sword
stands ever ready *
458
00:52:07,001 --> 00:52:12,667
* This wild stallion
cannot be tamed *
459
00:52:12,773 --> 00:52:15,298
* Stirring up passion
wherever I go *
460
00:52:15,409 --> 00:52:17,309
* This is my song *
461
00:52:17,411 --> 00:52:20,278
**
462
00:52:20,381 --> 00:52:22,975
* A thousand steeds
will rise from my grave *
463
00:52:23,083 --> 00:52:25,950
**
464
00:52:26,053 --> 00:52:29,181
* Untamed and unafraid **
465
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,768
When I left for Spain...
466
00:53:16,003 --> 00:53:17,664
in the war
467
00:53:18,138 --> 00:53:20,936
against all war and
against fascism...
468
00:53:22,910 --> 00:53:24,901
my doctor said to me,
469
00:53:25,646 --> 00:53:27,375
"Comrade...
470
00:53:28,816 --> 00:53:30,340
don't go!
471
00:53:31,752 --> 00:53:33,219
You're too weak.
472
00:53:34,421 --> 00:53:36,412
You're so delicate."
473
00:53:39,827 --> 00:53:43,126
He said, "Life is so fragile.
474
00:53:45,099 --> 00:53:47,090
It must be protected."
475
00:53:49,136 --> 00:53:51,195
"From what?" I asked.
476
00:53:53,073 --> 00:53:55,667
"From water? Fire?
477
00:53:57,144 --> 00:53:58,668
Wind?
478
00:54:00,380 --> 00:54:02,314
Men?"
479
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:10,713
"You can wipe your ass with
your advice," I told him.
480
00:54:14,995 --> 00:54:16,963
I told my husband...
481
00:54:19,066 --> 00:54:22,058
"Freedom and
communism start today."
482
00:54:25,506 --> 00:54:29,738
"Love starts today"...
483
00:54:32,813 --> 00:54:35,077
I told my lover.
484
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,586
"We can't wage
revolution with lies,"
485
00:54:42,489 --> 00:54:45,686
I told the secretary
of my party cell.
486
00:54:48,328 --> 00:54:50,956
I told my soldiers,
487
00:54:51,165 --> 00:54:55,329
"Our aim in this war isn't
to die on the field of honor.
488
00:54:57,104 --> 00:55:00,596
Whoever falls and
dies is a real schmuck,
489
00:55:00,808 --> 00:55:02,605
a total idiot!"
490
00:55:11,418 --> 00:55:13,477
Everyone has deserted me.
491
00:55:22,729 --> 00:55:28,292
Only a few old soldiers
come visit me now and then.
492
00:55:34,074 --> 00:55:35,974
Don't stay here.
493
00:56:44,745 --> 00:56:46,679
Wow.
494
00:57:12,172 --> 00:57:14,572
My name is Anna Planeta.
495
00:57:14,675 --> 00:57:20,307
*
496
00:57:25,886 --> 00:57:29,014
*
497
00:57:42,469 --> 00:57:45,734
*
498
00:58:01,154 --> 00:58:04,317
*
499
00:58:27,948 --> 00:58:30,439
*
500
00:59:28,542 --> 00:59:30,510
*
501
00:59:50,864 --> 00:59:53,833
*
502
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,484
*
503
01:00:55,495 --> 01:00:57,463
*
504
01:01:03,837 --> 01:01:07,273
- *
- *
505
01:01:29,963 --> 01:01:33,160
- *
- *
506
01:01:44,744 --> 01:01:46,712
*
507
01:01:49,182 --> 01:01:54,848
You can fuck me if you
are lucky, Mr. Sugar.
508
01:02:32,259 --> 01:02:34,454
* Three blind mice *
509
01:02:34,561 --> 01:02:36,461
* Three blind mice *
510
01:02:36,563 --> 01:02:38,463
* See how they run *
511
01:02:38,565 --> 01:02:40,590
* See how they run *
512
01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:44,534
* They all ran after the farmer's wife who
cut off their tails with a carving knife *
513
01:02:44,638 --> 01:02:48,233
* Did you ever see such a thing
in your life as three blind mice *
514
01:02:48,341 --> 01:02:50,241
* Three blind mice *
515
01:02:51,344 --> 01:02:55,075
* See how they run
See how they run *
516
01:02:55,181 --> 01:02:58,947
* They all ran after
the farmer's wife **
517
01:03:26,346 --> 01:03:29,645
*
518
01:03:34,454 --> 01:03:37,480
*
519
01:04:14,127 --> 01:04:16,095
*
520
01:04:48,762 --> 01:04:52,789
*
521
01:05:09,549 --> 01:05:11,608
*
522
01:08:28,881 --> 01:08:31,247
I'm building the head...
523
01:08:31,351 --> 01:08:33,251
of Immaculate Conception.
524
01:08:35,121 --> 01:08:38,921
Conceive your child
in the brains...
525
01:08:39,025 --> 01:08:40,993
of a...
526
01:09:37,750 --> 01:09:42,016
Nice and flat so I
can cut little slices.
527
01:09:42,221 --> 01:09:46,123
Can I cut it now?
528
01:09:46,325 --> 01:09:48,350
No one's answering.
Shall I cut it?
529
01:09:50,296 --> 01:09:52,264
Oh!
530
01:09:55,968 --> 01:09:58,562
Delicious! Who wants a slice?
531
01:10:05,778 --> 01:10:07,871
Aaah!
532
01:11:02,435 --> 01:11:05,598
**
533
01:11:49,081 --> 01:11:51,072
**
534
01:13:06,525 --> 01:13:13,397
* Is it cow shit *
535
01:13:14,200 --> 01:13:18,899
* Or my beloved **
536
01:13:56,575 --> 01:13:59,305
**
537
01:14:15,661 --> 01:14:19,188
*
538
01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:26,429
*
539
01:14:27,940 --> 01:14:31,205
- *
- *
540
01:14:51,063 --> 01:14:54,157
*
541
01:15:05,845 --> 01:15:07,813
*
542
01:15:07,913 --> 01:15:12,111
*
543
01:15:31,137 --> 01:15:35,403
- *
- *
544
01:16:11,143 --> 01:16:13,509
*
545
01:16:25,091 --> 01:16:27,821
*
546
01:18:29,615 --> 01:18:31,583
Oh! Oh!
547
01:19:23,836 --> 01:19:26,361
*
548
01:19:29,041 --> 01:19:31,009
**
549
01:19:45,557 --> 01:19:48,048
*
550
01:20:16,622 --> 01:20:19,284
*
551
01:20:34,907 --> 01:20:37,398
Everyone I loved is dead.
552
01:21:07,706 --> 01:21:09,833
I feel good.
553
01:21:10,209 --> 01:21:12,643
It always starts out that way.
554
01:21:14,146 --> 01:21:16,171
It always starts out so well.
555
01:21:26,358 --> 01:21:28,451
Sugar everywhere.
556
01:21:30,829 --> 01:21:32,524
I don't believe it.
557
01:21:34,867 --> 01:21:37,461
This boat is full of sugar.
558
01:21:45,577 --> 01:21:47,374
Sugar is dangerous.
559
01:21:53,886 --> 01:21:55,615
Fine weather today.
560
01:21:56,722 --> 01:21:58,747
How can you say that?
561
01:22:13,305 --> 01:22:15,102
Sugar is dangerous.
562
01:22:19,878 --> 01:22:22,574
Makes you live dangerously.
563
01:22:42,468 --> 01:22:44,436
Are you afraid of the past?
564
01:22:51,210 --> 01:22:53,405
I brought all this sugar here,
565
01:22:53,879 --> 01:22:56,541
but the bitter
taste still lingers.
566
01:22:59,017 --> 01:23:01,611
In any case, the
traces can't be erased.
567
01:23:02,721 --> 01:23:04,882
What about the witnesses?
568
01:23:08,794 --> 01:23:10,625
The witnesses must disappear.
569
01:23:15,067 --> 01:23:17,797
Oh.
570
01:23:29,982 --> 01:23:32,246
Oh.
571
01:23:32,351 --> 01:23:33,978
That's good.
572
01:23:34,786 --> 01:23:36,185
Go on.
573
01:24:06,685 --> 01:24:08,915
No explanation?
574
01:24:12,324 --> 01:24:14,758
Not everything can be explained.
575
01:24:17,963 --> 01:24:22,696
I was so jealous when
Vakulinchuk was killed.
576
01:25:05,143 --> 01:25:09,409
I was so jealous when
Vakulinchuk was killed.
577
01:27:12,037 --> 01:27:14,562
My God, how sad you are!
578
01:27:16,441 --> 01:27:17,738
Is the tear ready?
579
01:28:17,869 --> 01:28:20,633
Anna!
580
01:29:33,345 --> 01:29:37,805
Darling, this is going to be
the highlight of your career.
581
01:29:37,916 --> 01:29:41,352
From now on, when
people eat chocolate...
582
01:29:41,453 --> 01:29:43,944
I mean the brand we advertise...
583
01:29:44,055 --> 01:29:46,023
they will not feel the same.
584
01:30:00,138 --> 01:30:04,040
I want them to feel
as they're eating you.
585
01:30:04,376 --> 01:30:06,367
Action.
586
01:30:07,479 --> 01:30:09,913
Chocolat.
587
01:30:12,884 --> 01:30:15,944
Easy, easy.
588
01:30:18,857 --> 01:30:20,290
Perfect.
589
01:30:26,131 --> 01:30:28,361
Perfect. Very beautiful.
590
01:30:28,466 --> 01:30:30,627
- Okay.
- Sensational!
591
01:30:30,735 --> 01:30:32,635
Okay.
592
01:33:14,532 --> 01:33:16,591
Right.
593
01:33:16,701 --> 01:33:18,999
We're gonna sell the chocolate.
594
01:33:32,851 --> 01:33:35,081
Beautiful.
595
01:33:35,186 --> 01:33:37,154
Beautiful.
596
01:33:37,255 --> 01:33:39,951
Let everything be known...
597
01:33:40,058 --> 01:33:41,958
and let everything be clean.
598
01:34:00,044 --> 01:34:03,639
Our scouts had trouble in
certain parts of the world.
599
01:34:03,748 --> 01:34:08,151
It's not easy to find a girl
who's both pretty and a virgin.
600
01:34:08,253 --> 01:34:11,814
Our boys did quite
a job, I'll tell you.
601
01:34:39,884 --> 01:34:42,011
**
41644
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