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1
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,140
(EXCLAIMS)
2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,774
You okay?
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,312
I need you to kiss me like
no man has ever been kissed.
4
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,218
Nah. I've been kissed like that.
5
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,227
Done that, too.
6
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,215
All right. Come here.
7
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,507
All right then.
8
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:58,290
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do
9
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:02,461
♪ Tell me who can stop
my heart as much as you
10
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,196
♪ Let's take each other's hand
11
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,366
♪ As we jump
into the final frontier
12
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,136
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
13
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,604
♪ Yeah! ♪
14
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,288
PAUL: All right,
close your eyes.
15
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,811
Honey, I don't
have time for this.
16
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,225
I understand. Close your eyes.
17
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,450
My eyes are closed. All right.
18
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,156
Now open them.
19
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,529
Why are you dressed like that?
20
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,410
I told you, I'm doing this
piece on the milkman.
21
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,766
What milkman?
22
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,948
The Milkman, Pete, the
last milkman in New York.
23
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,806
It's like the Mohican,
but with milk.
24
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,374
He makes you wear that?
25
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,288
Not making me. I'm gonna be
on the truck with him all week.
26
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,844
So it makes him feel better.
27
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,913
All week? Well, every night.
28
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,460
Why didn't you tell me?
29
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,516
I did.
30
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,950
Really?
31
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,586
Possibly.
32
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,765
Oh, great. What is the problem?
33
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,634
Oh, I just wish you'd
said something last night.
34
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,604
We could've had sex or a
conversation or something.
35
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,495
Well, I got two minutes.
36
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,940
Well, you know, not even
enough time for a conversation.
37
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,499
But, you know what?
Hey, I'm actually serious.
38
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,278
What? I'll see you... I'll
see you during the daytime.
39
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,835
I have meetings all week.
40
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,816
So, like tomorrow. How
about tomorrow at breakfast?
41
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,441
I have my presentation. You
want to have dinner Wednesday?
42
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,554
I can't. I'm in film lab.
How about Thursday?
43
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,378
Fran and I seeing
the rug people.
44
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,158
I saw that. With Vincent
Price. Yeah, that was good.
45
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,149
They're clients. So Friday.
46
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,017
I have school. The weekend?
47
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,552
I'm editing.
48
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,366
Well, we've had four great
years. Thanks for everything.
49
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,269
Let me see. Tuesday. Next
Tuesday, like 5:00, 5:00 to 6:00.
50
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,004
Pizza. You and me. Pizza.
51
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,068
Yippee. There you go.
52
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,276
How am I even
gonna know it's you?
53
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:50,802
Because I'll be the
guy who goes like this.
54
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:54,039
It's hard to resist a man in
uniform, isn't it? Mmm-hmm.
55
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,609
Please, don't do that.
56
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,760
Good, huh? Mmm-hmm.
57
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:04,961
You know how many pancakes
58
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,596
we sell here at
Ralphy's every year?
59
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,420
Ralphy, well, I
can sure see why.
60
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,956
All right, try my clams now.
61
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,460
You know what? We're just so
darn anxious to get down to business.
62
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,040
Fran and I have
worked up some ideas.
63
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,409
I was thinking that we should
wait till the kid comes in.
64
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:22,179
What kid? This kid I
hired to do some graphics.
65
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:25,403
Come on, eat up. They're
double fried. Okey-dokey.
66
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,014
Mmm. Mmm.
67
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,409
ALAN: Hey, Ralphy.
Oh, there he is. Al.
68
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,611
FRAN: Oh, God.
69
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,924
Uh, Alan Tofsky,
this is... Jamie.
70
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,315
Alan. Hi.
71
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,960
You two know each other? Yeah.
72
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,819
Oh, sure. We've, uh, we've
worked together before.
73
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,120
And stuff. Hi, Fran.
74
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,689
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
75
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,924
Hey, you want a
lobster? Sure. Sure.
76
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,659
Good. Have a seat.
77
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,511
So, how are you? Good.
78
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:57,035
Me, too. Good.
79
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,316
Hey, my... my comic book's
getting published this week.
80
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,483
Really? Yeah. Yeah.
81
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,419
The advance word's
been incredible.
82
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,287
They're already talking
about animated series,
83
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,089
and action figures,
and trading cards.
84
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,724
I can't believe you did this.
85
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,616
I... I... I didn't know.
86
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,395
Yeah. Just like you
didn't know about that time
87
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,820
we were supposed to
feed Jim and Bonita's cat.
88
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,367
I told you, I never
got that message.
89
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:21,260
Yeah, that doesn't bring
the cat back, does it?
90
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,240
I can't believe you're
still carrying that around.
91
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,174
All right. Heads or tails?
What are you talking about?
92
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,577
Well, obviously, you two
can't work together. Alan, call it.
93
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,579
Fran, we're fine.
Eat some clams.
94
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,047
I'm not carrying
anything around.
95
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,371
Good. Good.
96
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,374
How's Ken?
97
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,808
Who?
98
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,343
Your husband...
99
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,589
Paul.
100
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,224
Paul. How's... How's Paul?
101
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,848
He's... He's wonderful.
How's Maria?
102
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,217
My maid? Whatever. How is she?
103
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,554
She's fine. Give me the pie.
104
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,556
Okay. What have
you kids got for me?
105
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,760
All righty. We've focused
the campaign on you, Ralphy.
106
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,529
We believe that the more
you personalize a campaign,
107
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,975
the more people
will feel comfortable
108
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,532
coming to your place for dinner.
109
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,401
So we put your face out there.
110
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,504
People know you and
they... they like you. What?
111
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,606
What?
112
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,074
You're breathing.
113
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,224
Yeah.
114
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,013
Never mind. Okay.
115
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,816
Anyway, Howard Johnson,
Colonel Sanders, Ralphy...
116
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,118
Okay, nobody hears that but me?
117
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,688
I have sinuses.
118
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,701
Yeah, it's funny how they only flare
up when he has something to say.
119
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,303
I don't... I don't
have anything to say.
120
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:27,904
Guys. Okay. Never mind. So...
121
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,872
I would just, maybe,
consider perhaps
122
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,775
going a slightly different way.
123
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,132
What way? Well...
124
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,367
A puppy.
125
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,669
A puppy?
126
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,471
Exactly.
127
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,083
Yeah. We want it to say
Ralphy. Well, he could say Ralphy.
128
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,941
He's a dog. How
can he say Ralphy?
129
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,187
I don't know.
130
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,610
R-r-r-ralphy!
131
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,146
Ralphy!
132
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,492
What? What?
133
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,594
Guys. I just don't see why
Ralphy can't say Ralphy?
134
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,930
Ralphy can say Ralphy. I just
think it might be better "Ralphy!"
135
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,821
Okay. Let's leave
it up to Ralphy.
136
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,729
Okay. Okay. Okay.
137
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,337
Uh, whatever you kids decide.
138
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,205
I'm gonna go get you some beets.
139
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,261
And some pudding?
140
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,831
Yeah, not pudding.
How about pudding?
141
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,804
(YAWNING)
142
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,981
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
143
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,753
Good morning.
144
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,622
I don't feel rested at all.
145
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,025
How was your filming?
146
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,594
Milky.
147
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,296
What time you want me
to set the alarm for tonight?
148
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,866
I got to be back
at the dairy at 6:00.
149
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,967
How are you gonna
do this all week?
150
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,196
It's easy. Sleep till dinner,
151
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,850
and that feels like breakfast.
152
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,618
Then I shoot till sunrise,
153
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,952
that feels like twilight.
154
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,544
I come home for breakfast,
that feels like dinner.
155
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:56,053
And I watch a little
Regis, feels like Leno.
156
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,784
And that works?
157
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,553
No. I'll be dragging
my ass all week.
158
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,022
Hey, dig me. I'm Arlene Francis.
159
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,326
Good night. Good night.
160
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,429
(EXHALES)
161
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,466
So, a funny thing
happened last night.
162
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,781
(LOUDER) So, a funny
thing happened last night.
163
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,904
What?
164
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,072
I ran into Alan.
165
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,007
Alan... Alan...
He-who-came-before-me Alan?
166
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,186
Mmm-hmm. Huh.
167
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,944
Turns out one of
my clients hired him
168
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,245
to do some graphic design,
169
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:28,558
so we're gonna be
working together.
170
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,381
Ah, that's funny, huh?
171
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,253
You don't have a
problem with that? What?
172
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,066
Just want to make sure
you're okay with that.
173
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,190
Sure. Really?
174
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,425
Yeah.
175
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,497
Because if you do have
a problem... All right.
176
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,133
Just look me in the eye
177
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,762
and tell me you don't
have a problem with it.
178
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,776
I don't have a
problem with that.
179
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,077
Why not?
180
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,580
Because I love
you, and I trust you,
181
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,015
and I haven't slept in 42 hours.
182
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,595
All right. All right. I
was just checking.
183
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,119
All right. Pizza. Tuesday.
184
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,689
I will be there. All right.
185
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,957
Should I have a problem
with this? Thank you.
186
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,996
Okay. Ralphy's...
187
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,865
(BARKING) Or Ralphy's?
188
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,466
Where you gonna eat?
189
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,569
What about Chinese
food? That's not an option.
190
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,539
Chinese sounds good. Would
you just answer the question?
191
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,773
I like the dog.
192
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,687
I like the bald guy.
193
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,789
FRAN: Come on, you guys,
why don't we use them both?
194
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,256
That's a good idea.
We'll just forget the dog.
195
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,525
(EXCLAIMS) Oh,
it was worth a shot.
196
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,549
Can you just give it a try?
197
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,395
Well, I'll go start
up some drawings.
198
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,530
All right, I'll
write up the copy.
199
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,887
I'm gonna go lie down.
200
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,555
See, we're doing great.
201
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,824
Hey, we're doing fine.
202
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,627
I'll call you later. All right.
203
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,195
See, would you like to
admit that you were wrong?
204
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,475
LISA: About what? Me and Alan.
205
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,332
We are working
together beautifully.
206
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,735
Yeah, just like Fishy
and Mr. Carmen.
207
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,069
Who?
208
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,237
My guppies.
209
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,083
One minute they're
swimming around
210
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,085
like the happiest little pals
on earth, next thing you know,
211
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,122
Fishy is bashing Mr. Carmen's
face into the castle.
212
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,979
When did you get fish?
213
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,214
That's not the point.
There's a point?
214
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,094
Yeah, you guys are
a walking time bomb.
215
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,451
Lisa, that's not true.
216
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,920
Tick tick tick tick.
217
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,755
We are completely
different people now.
218
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,457
Our lives are totally different.
I have my life. He has his.
219
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,259
I have my business.
He has his comic book.
220
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,695
I have Paul. He has no one.
221
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,908
What comic book?
222
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,098
Uh, Mega something.
223
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,101
Hold on just a
cotton pickin' minute.
224
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,336
Alan is Alan Tofsky? Yeah.
225
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,940
Mega Void Alan
Tofsky? That's it.
226
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,175
Wow. What?
227
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,122
My friend Mikey over at Mikey's
says that it's gonna be huge.
228
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,992
What's Mikey's? It's a
comic book joint over on 6th.
229
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,394
Would they have this thing
there now? If there's any left.
230
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,097
James, I'm telling you, it's like
they're saying bigger than X-Men.
231
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,055
All right. You know
what I'm gonna do?
232
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,301
I'm gonna go buy a copy, have it
framed and give it to Alan as a present.
233
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,491
What do you say to that?
234
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,894
Tick tick tick tick. Oh, fine.
235
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,929
Hey, I'll walk you over.
236
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,131
Hey, what about
me? What about you?
237
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,700
I don't know.
238
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,049
You know, I heard the real
Spider-Man died in Vietnam.
239
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,924
What real Spider-Man?
240
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,716
Why do you always question me?
241
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,295
Hey, hey, hey, look at this.
242
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,730
I told you it was big.
243
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:21,786
Good for him.
244
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,855
Ira. Hey, Mikey.
245
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,468
James, Lisa, this is Mikey.
246
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,403
Hello. Yeah.
247
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,205
We've met, haven't we?
248
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,096
I don't think so.
249
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,597
Huh.
250
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,411
Do you know where we can
we find Mega Void? First rack.
251
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,080
Next to The Vulcans,
right? Thanks.
252
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,749
You know, we got Alan
Tofsky in for a signing tomorrow.
253
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,873
Yeah. Good for you.
254
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,474
(CHUCKLING)
255
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,044
Oh, Jughead, what
have you done now?
256
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,919
I have nephews.
257
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,889
IRA: Look at this.
258
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,458
Mega Void One, Talon
Emerges From Her Crypt.
259
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,827
Who's Talon? Huh?
260
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,976
Near as I can tell, the
evil queen of the universe.
261
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,231
Let me see. No,
it's not that hot.
262
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,845
Hey, let's go get Chinese.
263
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,813
Chinese. That sounds good.
What is the matter with you two?
264
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,603
Hey, look at this.
265
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,906
Oh.
266
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,868
Wow. I know.
267
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,303
Queen Talon.
268
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,172
She's just evil.
269
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,976
That's got to hurt.
270
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,880
I mean, all he did was ask not
to be used as breeding stock.
271
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,123
This is not good.
272
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,584
Tell me about it.
273
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,892
Here's what I think.
274
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,765
I'm her husband. You're
her best friend. So?
275
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,388
So, I'm gonna leave town
276
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,368
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) and
you call me the minute she's over this.
277
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,059
Forget about it.
278
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:12,230
Why would she wear a
bathing suit to an execution?
279
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,110
That's not a bathing
suit, it's a thing.
280
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,377
It's like a combination
281
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,980
breastplate,
force field kind of...
282
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,149
You know, thongy thing.
283
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,454
It's functional, yet fabulous.
284
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,486
Hi. Hi.
285
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,956
How you doing?
Great. Oh, you saw it.
286
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,691
Yeah. Aren't I evil?
287
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,693
Well, I wouldn't say evil
exactly. Honey, come on.
288
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:33,096
I mean, a little testy maybe.
Please, I'm pretty bad.
289
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,431
You know what, sweetie? I
got recognized at school today.
290
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,233
Really? All the way
across the quad.
291
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,690
"Talon, Talon, Talon!"
292
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,671
You aren't bothered by this?
293
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,207
No. There was that one
sophomore I dismembered,
294
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,364
but what the heck,
a girl's got to eat.
295
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,478
Guys, come on. I'm kidding.
296
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,569
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
297
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,885
I wonder how Cat Woman's
husband would deal with this.
298
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,308
Talk to her!
299
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,677
Sweetie? You know what?
You seem a little upset.
300
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,445
What did I just say?
301
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,025
Yeah, all right. Very good.
302
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,393
Do you... Do you want
me to go hit this guy?
303
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,561
Oh, for what?
304
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,552
Was the Mona Lisa
upset at Da Vinci?
305
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,100
Granted she never crushed
a planet between her thighs,
306
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,269
but, then again, how do I
know that? Maybe she did.
307
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,271
Maybe that's why
she was smiling.
308
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,006
Honey, it's a joke. I'm fine.
309
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,009
If I weren't fine,
could I be this funny?
310
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,465
Okay, here's what.
311
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,479
Alan always had to have
the last word, and this is it.
312
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,414
He didn't always
have to publish it,
313
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,216
but if this is what he had
to, this is what he had to do.
314
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,439
I'm fine.
315
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,009
Do we have any yogurt?
I think we're all out.
316
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,678
How can we be "out"? I
thought you were a milkman.
317
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,760
You go. You go.
318
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,550
(GROANS)
319
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,730
Okay, sweetie,
don't do this... What?
320
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,733
The "fine" thing. I've seen
this on you. It's not pretty.
321
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,269
All right, what would
you like me to do?
322
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,271
Just, like, a-admit
that you're angry.
323
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,506
No, no. I'm not gonna
give him the satisfaction.
324
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:54,098
Yeah, but he ain't here, and I'm
the one in the path of unpleasantries.
325
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,735
Well, excuse me for trying
to take the high ground.
326
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,538
What high ground?
The high ground.
327
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,308
Hey, babe, you have webbed feet.
328
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,376
Only when I need them.
329
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,956
Okay, still. I... I... I don't
think it's a compliment.
330
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,090
It could be. How?
331
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,614
Because I say so
and I can melt you.
332
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,018
All right. Hey, don't eat now.
333
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,965
Why not? What day is it?
334
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,166
Tuesday. What time is it?
335
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,990
I don't know. It's 4:45.
336
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,636
Yeah. So? So?
337
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,770
Pizza date.
338
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,161
Oh, I'm really not in the mood.
339
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,841
Too bad. We wrote it down.
340
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,530
Come on, want to call Carbone's?
341
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,610
No. That delivery guy always
wants to use our bathroom.
342
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,601
What is that about?
343
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,914
You know, I'm just gonna run
down to the corner and pick it up.
344
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,804
All right, I'll put on
way too much cologne.
345
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,051
I'll be back in 10 minutes.
346
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,319
All right. Fran,
she's fine. Really?
347
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,842
No, but it's your turn.
348
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,355
Fran, you want to
walk me to the corner?
349
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,544
Sure.
350
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,759
Hey, James. How you doing?
351
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,427
Good. We're just running...
Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap.
352
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,952
One thing, all right?
It's totally up to you.
353
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,765
But, I was talking
to this buddy of mine,
354
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,700
who does these, like, these
comic book conventions, right?
355
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,769
And again, totally up to you.
356
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,804
But, if we wanted to make
extra money, you know...
357
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,306
I mean, just, you
now, taking your picture
358
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,607
with the people.
Stuff like that...
359
00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,842
No. Totally up to you.
360
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,244
I know. I know. Easy
money. Really easy...
361
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:04,868
I think you should move.
Okay, so you'll think about it.
362
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,133
Maybe you should
just go talk to Alan.
363
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,254
I'm not gonna give
him the satisfaction.
364
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,743
He wasn't home.
365
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,417
Come on, honey.
366
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,985
Hank, come on.
367
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,555
(SCREAMS) You coming or not?
368
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,331
Do me a favor, talk to
him. Get it off your chest.
369
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,668
Which chest? My little human chest
or my big, huge Mega Void chest?
370
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,248
James. Where is this thing?
371
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,682
Paul has to leave by 6:00.
372
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,073
Hello, excuse me.
373
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,350
Hey! What?
374
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,790
Vinnie, come look at this!
375
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,948
How much do I owe you?
376
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,416
Who does she remind you of?
377
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,518
I don't know.
378
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,054
Come on. Look.
379
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,357
Hey!
380
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,724
Okay, here's a $20.
381
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,271
Uncle Angelo, get out here!
382
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,473
Can I get my change?
And bring the camera!
383
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,674
You know, I got a space open.
384
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,032
Right between Alan
Alda and Brenda Vaccaro.
385
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,467
Hey, look, it's Talon.
386
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:10,846
Okay, I'll see you later.
387
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,471
Where are you going?
To destroy my creator.
388
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,212
Excuse me. I'm
sorry. Just excuse me.
389
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,358
Sorry. Excuse me for one second.
390
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,559
Hey, lady, there's a line.
391
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,294
I know, I just have to... Oh!
392
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,818
Sorry, your majesty. Go ahead.
393
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,387
Thank you. Thank you very much.
394
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:30,688
Uh, A-Alan.
395
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,956
Hey, you're here.
396
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,458
Yeah. Listen. Obviously you...
397
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,238
No, no, no. I mean, no,
that's a really cool gesture.
398
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,661
What?
399
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,075
Oh, when you think of
where we were five years ago,
400
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,177
or even last week, and now
you're coming to my signing.
401
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,933
I mean, good for us, huh?
402
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,602
Good for who?
403
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,737
Whom. Don't do that!
404
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,974
You always did that to me. Do you
have any idea how annoying that is?
405
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,176
All right, what's
the matter with you?
406
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,577
What's the matter with me?
407
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,157
Yeah. Thanks for coming.
408
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,415
What's the matter with me?
409
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,128
Yeah. Hi. What's your name? Hey.
410
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,729
This. This is the matter
with me. What? What?
411
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,621
This. Her. Her.
412
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,900
She looks a little like you.
413
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,492
Yeah, that seems
to be the consensus.
414
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,761
Hmm. What do you make of that?
415
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:15,333
Alan, please! This whole comic is
like our relationship but in outer space!
416
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,147
Where do you get that?
417
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,803
Are you kidding? Right here!
418
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,284
Okay. That time that we
went to pick up the rent-a-car,
419
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,053
and found out you forgot
to make the reservation.
420
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,188
And you screamed at me in front
of that little family from Georgia?
421
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,157
Fine. So then, we
turn to page 14.
422
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,821
"The Centurian general
forgets to fetch Talon's scepter,
423
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,617
"and she peels back
the layers of his brain!"
424
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,253
Hi.
425
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,765
I don't see it. Okay, great.
426
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,134
Then there's that
time on the subway
427
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,758
when I simply requested
that you stop humming.
428
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,727
Terrific. Now, we
turn to page 36.
429
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,663
"Talon rips out the
tongue of her slave
430
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,798
"for singing out of tune."
431
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,634
Oh. Sure, yeah.
How could I miss that?
432
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,970
Are you kidding
me? It's all here!
433
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,040
I take a drink of your
orange juice at some diner,
434
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,842
she sucks the life
force from his soul.
435
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,622
I accidently burn a little
hole in your sweater,
436
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,314
she destroys the
planet Cardigan!
437
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,461
Face it, Alan. You always
had to have the last word.
438
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,119
Well, you know what? You
can't. The last word was goodbye.
439
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,765
I said it to you five years ago.
440
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,089
I'm saying it again now.
441
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:13,924
Please try to
remember it this time.
442
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,938
Goodbye. No, no, no. See that?
443
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,929
You're not following. I
say goodbye, not you.
444
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,731
Goodbye.
445
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,040
Okay.
446
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,835
I said goodbye.
447
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,737
See ya.
448
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,441
Goodbye, Alan.
449
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,978
Take care.
450
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,085
Goodbye.
451
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,036
Ladies and gentlemen,
Queen Talon.
452
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,860
Move out. Move out.
453
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,429
(SCREAMS)
454
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,548
Where did you go? You've
been gone, like, two hours.
455
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,218
Let me ask you
something. Tell me the truth.
456
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,342
Do you think I'm evil?
457
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,810
No. Where is the pizza?
458
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,346
What?
459
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:11,048
Oh. I don't know. They were out.
460
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,429
Really. I won't be mad.
When you think about me,
461
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:17,021
do you think I'm basically
good or basically wicked?
462
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,323
The... The first thing you said.
463
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,569
What do you mean they were out?
464
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,837
They were out. Of pizza?
465
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,127
Yeah.
466
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,841
The pizza place was
out of pizza? Yeah.
467
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,809
How could a pizza
place... They just were.
468
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,378
So in no way do you see me
469
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:33,003
as any kind of malevolent
force of destruction?
470
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,716
What're you doing to yourself?
471
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:38,075
I've just am thinking about Alan
and... and when I was with him,
472
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:41,479
and I don't know, maybe
I was a little bit like that.
473
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,215
I don't know you with him,
I only know you with me.
474
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,350
And? I like you.
475
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,820
Okay? Okay.
476
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,155
All right.
477
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:54,970
So, you go into the pizza place,
478
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,071
you say, "I'd like
to buy a pizza..."
479
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,395
You have to let this go.
480
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,129
See, this is what I'm...
481
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,710
'Cause now I have a hankering
for pizza, I'm all worked up for pizza,
482
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,967
I have no pizza.
483
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,470
Although. Look how smart I am.
484
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,706
You got your English
muffins, you got your cheese,
485
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,886
you got your tomato sauce.
Honey, what are you doing?
486
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,188
We're gonna
improvise a little pizza.
487
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,579
It's after 6:00. I know.
But we had a date.
488
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:15,791
You have your filming.
489
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,616
It's all right. The
milk will keep.
490
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,085
Besides, I'd rather be with you.
491
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,565
Really? Yeah.
492
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,333
Now, here's what you
do. It's all in the flipping.
493
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:25,668
That's what makes
the pizza, see?
494
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,391
(SCATTING)
495
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,628
You sing a song, a
folk tune of some sort.
496
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,730
(SCATTING)
497
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,201
(JAMIE LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)
498
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:42,640
(JAMIE'S VOICE) All
right. The party's over.
499
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:45,776
Bye-bye.
500
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,748
(ALAN'S VOICE) See? What?
501
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:51,960
Tell me that wasn't evil.
502
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,485
I'm not evil.
503
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,387
Face it, babe, you
got a nasty streak.
504
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:58,989
Actually, I'm sensitive...
505
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,092
(EXCLAIMING)
Caring... Insightful...
506
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,462
Ambitious, but
not obnoxiously so.
507
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,029
Fun. Patient.
508
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,399
Do you realize how
annoying that is?
509
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,200
What? What am I doing?
510
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,571
You know, I like you better
when you're passive-aggressive.
511
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,608
(SCREAMING) You're overreacting!
512
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:22,099
Now, who am I gonna
have dinner with?
513
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,360
(PAUL'S VOICE) So, you through?
514
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,916
Don't incur my wrath.
515
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,796
(CLINKING) Oh,
yeah. I'm real scared.
516
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,565
Hey, don't you want
to get out of that thing?
517
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,389
Don't touch the armor.
518
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,135
You know, you're
really rather cute.
519
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,025
I'm not cute. I'm evil.
520
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:36,927
Not on my planet, babe.
521
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,032
How did you do that?
522
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,034
Nothing to it.
523
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,347
So, let me understand this.
524
00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:46,782
You walk into the pizza place...
525
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,539
You have to let this go.
526
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,379
Yeah.
527
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,915
I... Well, let me ask her.
528
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,662
My mother wants to know,
529
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,897
why would you destroy
the Province of Rivers
530
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,965
if you knew that they
had all the Zargon?
531
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,757
Because Zargon is
useless without a silver key.
532
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:07,969
There you go. You hear that?
533
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,861
Zargon is useless
without a silver key.
534
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,474
Let me ask her. Okay.
535
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,075
Is it true that your
ability to morph
536
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,144
was actually a gift
from King Bannick?
537
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,735
I've never even
met King Bannick.
538
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,604
It's just a rumor.
She never met him.
539
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,940
She never... She
says... She just told me.
540
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,287
'Cause rumors... Look,
you know how rumors are.
541
00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:27,592
Rumors just...
No, King Bannick...
39047
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