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1
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,150
Bye, Paul. Bye,
Jamie. Good night.
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,019
PAUL: Good night, thanks.
JAMIE: I'll see you soon, you guys.
3
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,854
MAN: Great party, huh? Okay.
4
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,590
Good night, you guys. It
was great to see... Thanks.
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,048
Call us, okay? Bye-bye.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,117
12th street and
5th Avenue, please.
7
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,336
How could I know?
8
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,420
Do I look okay? You look great.
9
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,644
Is my hair flat? Not at all.
10
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,446
It's supposed to be.
11
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,214
Oh. It is.
12
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,017
Okay, good night.
13
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,696
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
14
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,632
You said you'd be
here at 9:00. Yeah, so?
15
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,022
It's 9:02.
16
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,323
It's all couples.
17
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,632
Would you please
just give it a chance?
18
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,673
You brought a present?
Yes. It's her birthday.
19
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,108
Give me a pen. Give her a pen.
20
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,365
Give her a pen.
21
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,233
Oh, you're gonna
chip in for that?
22
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,013
Whatever. Hey.
23
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,137
Hey. Happy birthday. Hi.
24
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,039
Happy birthday, you.
25
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,348
This is from us.
26
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,529
Oh.
27
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,143
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
28
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,057
You didn't have to
do that. Don't be silly.
29
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,513
Do you guys have a lemon?
30
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,316
A lemon. You know what,
I forgot it in my other pants.
31
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:27,397
It's okay. It's just that the
guacamole needs a little something.
32
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,299
I'm sure it's fine.
No, she's right.
33
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,500
I'm going to run downstairs.
34
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,924
Fran, Fran, relax. Don't
make yourself crazy.
35
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,727
I know. It's just my
first party without Mark
36
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:39,298
and it's my birthday, the rug
shampooer was late, and there's no lemon.
37
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,468
Oh. Yeah, well, your
hair looks nice and flat.
38
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,536
What?
39
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,573
You told me that was good.
40
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,886
Your hair looks
beautiful, you look great,
41
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,021
and everybody seems to
be having a wonderful time.
42
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,223
Oh, God. What?
43
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,580
The waiters are bunching.
44
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,493
Fran. I told them to circulate.
45
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,849
BOB: Hey, guys!
46
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,638
Hey. Hey.
47
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,664
Help me. I... I got it.
48
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,100
Okay, it's Doris. Doris
49
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,889
and, uh, Doris' husband.
50
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,736
Hey, Jamie. Hey, Paul.
51
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,927
Hey, Doris. Hey, champ.
52
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,464
We were just thinking about you.
53
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,478
We were in Florida...
For the holidays...
54
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,002
To visit the parents...
And we saw a restaurant
55
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,637
that had a sign that said
56
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:22,141
BOTH: "Paul and
Jamie's Chicken Village."
57
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,042
Well, it wasn't
us. I'll tell you that.
58
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,455
Actually, it was
pronounced "Hymie."
59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,746
Like the Spanish.
But we still laughed.
60
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:29,892
So Florida, huh?
61
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,950
Oh, it was like a
second honeymoon.
62
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,396
Without the wedding.
Or the relatives.
63
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,380
And all the thank you notes.
64
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,200
What? What?
65
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:39,824
Well, when we got back
from our honeymoon,
66
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,904
I was so good about
sitting right down
67
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,107
and writing all of our
thank you notes. I helped.
68
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,864
Yes. He offered to mail them.
69
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,445
See, I figured I'll drop 'em off at
the post office on my way to the gym.
70
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,369
So then... Zest.
71
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:53,305
What's that? It's
the Zest story, right?
72
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,640
Yes, it is.
73
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,948
We love that story.
74
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:57,920
Tell it again.
75
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,144
No, no. That's okay.
76
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,348
Well, it has been
great seeing you.
77
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,816
You, too. Nice to see you.
78
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,496
MAN: Hey, Bob, Doris. BOTH: Hi!
79
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,653
Excuse us.
80
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,356
Didn't they used
to be two people?
81
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,203
I know. Did you noticed
how they kept finishing
82
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,438
each other's sentences?
Finishing each other's sentences?
83
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:16,973
It's like they're part of
84
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,208
a cult or something. A
cult or something. Really.
85
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,376
When did that happen to them?
86
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,999
Really. They're worse than you.
87
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,046
What is that supposed to mean?
88
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,336
Nothing.
89
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,471
Hey, we are not like that.
90
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,307
Yeah, right.
91
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,786
We're not. We're not.
92
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:30,875
Ooh.
93
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:38,584
Fran looked good, huh? Mmm-hmm.
94
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,430
Think she liked her present?
95
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,687
I think so.
96
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:48,159
How could anybody say we're
like Doris and Doris' husband?
97
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:51,029
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
98
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,797
We just... We just
like being together.
99
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,244
That's normal. That's normal.
100
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,034
(EXHALES)
101
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,870
Tell you what. How about
I meet you back here later?
102
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,819
Good idea. All right.
103
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,842
Oh. Uh...
104
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,755
Are you're going to
go... I'm going that way.
105
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,045
All right, then.
106
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,918
WOMAN: Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So what did you say?
107
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,488
So I said, "You can't say that.
108
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,056
"This is Pennsylvania."
109
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,324
(ALL LAUGHING)
110
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,302
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
111
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,205
Whoo!
112
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,407
(COUGHING)
113
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,812
IRA: Hey, Paulie. Splinky.
114
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,992
So are you and, uh, you
and Jamie fighting? No.
115
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,016
So what's she doing
over there? You're here.
116
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,452
What, we can't go to a
party and be there and here?
117
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,120
Not that I know of.
118
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,689
Hey, hey, hey, who's that?
119
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,157
20 bucks she's a model.
120
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,470
Which one? Mine.
121
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,993
Come on, be my wing man.
122
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,396
Oh, I... I'm not good
at this anymore.
123
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,175
Come on, Paulie. You
were never good at this.
124
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,777
All you gotta do is
talk to her girlfriend.
125
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,833
(SIGHS)
126
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,846
All right. But, hey. What?
127
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,837
Do not tell them I'm a director.
128
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,205
But it works.
129
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,941
For you, yeah. But
remember, remember Loretta?
130
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,988
What, the singer? I liked her.
131
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,447
Yeah, 'cause you didn't get 20 minutes of
South Pacific on your answering machine.
132
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,327
All right, fine. So
be an accountant.
133
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,351
Hey, hey. I'm not going
to be an accountant.
134
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,252
All right, so be a chef.
135
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,054
I wanna be a doctor.
136
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,367
Good. From Brazil.
137
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,431
Hey, don't push it. Come on.
138
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,060
Excuse us, ladies, uh,
139
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,095
have either of you seen my wife?
140
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,364
Uh, no.
141
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,714
Well, that's good,
'cause I'm not married.
142
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,409
How about yourself?
143
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,804
No. I'm Tracy. Hi.
144
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,383
Tracy. Ira. Carol.
145
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,608
Carol. And this is, uh,
my cousin Dr. Buchman.
146
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,717
Here, here, here. Let
me buy you dinner.
147
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,612
No, thanks.
148
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,426
So what kind of
a doctor are you?
149
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,849
What's that? What kind?
150
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,352
Guess.
151
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,820
Uh, GP.
152
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,054
Uh, no.
153
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,300
Pediatrician.
154
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,657
In fact, no.
155
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,166
Ear, nose, and throat.
156
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,961
Uh, nope, nope and nope.
157
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,396
He's a chiropractor.
158
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,642
Oh. Really?
159
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,799
Unless I'm lying.
160
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,108
Boy, I am... I am
really glad to meet you.
161
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,636
Well, thank you very much.
162
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,182
You know, my neck is killing me.
163
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,272
Ooh! Whoa!
164
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,882
Why the hell are
you taking Lexington?
165
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,585
Hey, don't yell at him
'cause you're mad at me.
166
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,153
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Hey, watch it, nimrod!
167
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,237
I'm fine. I had a
wonderful time. All right.
168
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:38,029
How could anybody say we're
like Doris and Doris' husband?
169
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,709
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
170
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,177
We just like being together.
171
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,512
That's normal. That's normal.
172
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,135
(WHISTLES)
173
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,439
Tell you what. Let's take
a little break, all right?
174
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,051
I'll meet you back here later.
175
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,275
Good idea.
176
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,944
Hey.
177
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,591
I'll go... I'm going that way.
178
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,714
All right, then.
179
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,628
Where's Paul? He's over there.
180
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,685
Oh, no. Don't ruin my party.
181
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,601
What are you talking about?
182
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,870
You two are going to make
up eventually. Just do it now.
183
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:09,038
We're not fighting.
We're mingling.
184
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,229
Okay, fine. Just
put on a happy face.
185
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,332
Hey, there's the birthday girl.
186
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,568
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
187
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,102
What was I, raised by wolves?
188
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,606
So where's Paulie?
189
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,915
MAN: "Pennsylvania."
190
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,142
(ALL LAUGHING)
191
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,211
He's over there.
192
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,713
Oh.
193
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,302
What? Oh, don't
worry. You'll work it out.
194
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,754
Needs lemon.
195
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,567
(LAUGHS) Oh. Well, thank you.
196
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,024
Yeah. I just love
lemon. It's so versatile.
197
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,493
Don't you think?
198
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,095
Yeah, I guess. You guess?
199
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,442
(STAMMERING) No. Sure, it is.
200
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,498
Yeah.
201
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,702
I mean, think about
it. It goes with fish.
202
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,504
It goes with hot tea, iced tea.
203
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,213
It really dresses
up a glass of water.
204
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,543
Oh! I'm sorry. Excuse
me one second. Fran?
205
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,145
(CLEARS THROAT)
206
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,692
Wow. Yeah?
207
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,950
Oh, please don't ruin my party.
208
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,858
I told you, we're
not fighting. Not that.
209
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,489
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,335
I swear I didn't invite him.
211
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,825
What is he doing here?
212
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,660
I don't know.
213
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,074
I heard he's doing some graphic work
for Marsha. She must have brought him.
214
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,776
You know what?
It's fine, it's fine.
215
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,199
Why wouldn't it be fine?
216
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,601
I broke up with him.
217
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,947
I know. I did.
218
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,336
I know.
219
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,205
I mean, it's like
ancient history.
220
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,185
Please don't ruin my party.
221
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:32,343
Listen, I am just going
to go and say hello
222
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,572
and get it over with.
I'll see you in a minute.
223
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:39,117
WOMAN: Well, it has
been great seeing you.
224
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,305
Oh, God. Sorry about that.
225
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,453
Jamie.
226
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,389
Alan?
227
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,625
Hi. Hi.
228
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,213
Good to see you. Yeah, you, too.
229
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,039
Wow. You look
completely different.
230
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,898
Your hair, it's...
Yeah, it's flat.
231
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,633
That's a good
flat, though. I like it.
232
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,968
You shaved your,
um... Oh, yeah. Yeah.
233
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,307
So I guess we're pretty
much caught up. Yeah.
234
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,109
Oh, no, no, I hear
you got married.
235
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,579
Two years. Wow. Congratulations.
236
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,048
Thank you. So, uh, where is he?
237
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,356
He's, um...
238
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,351
Whoa!
239
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,619
Gosh, he's someplace.
240
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,970
You took food?
241
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,471
It's a cookie.
242
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,775
Did you take another one? No.
243
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,846
Okay, now dab it.
244
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,414
I'm dabbing it. I'm dabbing it.
245
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,094
All right, all right.
You want me to dab it?
246
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,558
No, I want you to keep
pouring seltzer on my shoes.
247
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,933
All right, suit yourself.
248
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,255
Now, where were we?
249
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,902
My neck. Your neck.
250
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,604
Great. Now what can
we do about this, doc?
251
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,238
Can't you give her
some kind of adjustment?
252
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,964
Uh, sadly, no. Not without
my ultrasound equipment.
253
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,332
Oh, please.
254
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,345
Listen... Now, come
on. You took the oath.
255
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,004
Here. Let me take this from you,
256
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,405
and you, right?
257
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,340
All right? Here we go.
258
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,754
All right. This... This
may hurt for a second.
259
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,877
All right?
260
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,913
(CRACKING)
261
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,716
(CRACKING)
262
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,204
How is that? A little better?
263
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,772
(STAMMERING)
It really... It's better.
264
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,207
Yeah. Thank you.
265
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,943
You know what? Is there anyplace
to grab a smoke around here?
266
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,378
A smoke? Actually, yeah. Out
on the veranda. May I escort you?
267
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,435
Okay.
268
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,242
So. So.
269
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,476
So.
270
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,046
Here's a funny little story.
271
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,261
When my wife and I came
back from our honeymoon...
272
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,952
Ah, you're married. Yeah.
273
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,432
So, uh, she had done all the thank
you notes, written them right away.
274
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,700
Then she gave
them to me to mail.
275
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,457
So I put them in my gym bag
276
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,070
and I'm walking to
the gym and on my way
277
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,493
I see at the Waverly Theater
278
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,340
there's this movie that I
was... I... I wanted to see.
279
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,965
This, uh... Some Italian thing.
280
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,800
The Tree... The Tree of...
281
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,102
Tree of... Something.
282
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,436
Tree of... Something.
283
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,806
Something. Something.
Something in a tree.
284
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,142
Something in a tree.
285
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,911
A bush. Something
in a bush, bush tree.
286
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,113
Something... Anyway. Uh, so...
287
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,581
Birds of a Feather. That's it.
288
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,718
Birds of a Feather.
You ever see that?
289
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,386
No. No. Oh, well.
290
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,889
You didn't miss much.
291
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,657
It was a little disappointing.
292
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:34,926
So, uh, anyway, you know
what? Very nice to meet you.
293
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,539
Yeah, you, too, Dr. Buchman.
294
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,829
It's Paul.
295
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:41,498
Oh, that's funny. There's a
director named Paul Buchman.
296
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,669
Is that right? Yeah, I always
wanted to work with him.
297
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,404
Let me guess. You're an actress.
298
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,307
No. I'm an executive at NBC.
299
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:51,843
Well, enjoy the party.
300
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,779
Just... Just one second.
301
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,727
Wow. Having a good time?
302
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,431
Yeah. You? Oh, yeah.
303
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,631
Say the situation
was reversed... Okay.
304
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,500
And you did the
exact same thing.
305
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:05,656
Then I would be wrong.
306
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,203
But here the situation
is not reversed.
307
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,827
It's exactly as it was.
308
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,606
So in this case, the
wrong person would be...
309
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,663
You anyway.
310
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,398
So he puts them in his gym bag
311
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,969
and says he'll stop at the post
office 'cause it's right on his way.
312
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,370
Which gym?
313
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,405
Um, Health and Racquet.
314
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,673
(CLEARS THROAT) Anyway.
315
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,042
So... So he's on his way
316
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,977
and he stops to see
Birds of a Feather.
317
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,286
After the gym?
318
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,713
No, instead.
319
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,081
It's a brilliant film.
320
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,390
(CRACKING)
321
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,856
Anyway, um...
322
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,724
So he, uh, he takes a bath.
323
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,003
After the movie.
324
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:43,294
No, no, no. This
is months later.
325
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,807
I don't think I'm
following you here.
326
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,109
Doesn't matter, doesn't
matter, doesn't matter.
327
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,066
So you're going out with Marsha?
328
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,600
Oh, no, no, no.
329
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:50,947
We're just good friends.
330
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,772
Oh, good. You know,
whatever makes you happy.
331
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,636
Oh, I'm doing good. Me, too.
332
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,619
Really good. Yeah, I am.
333
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,948
No, I... I meant me.
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
334
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,987
I don't know. Really
good. Really, really good.
335
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:10,521
I'm doing album covers.
336
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,623
I started my own PR firm.
337
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,452
Peter Gabriel. Coca Cola.
338
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,707
You're handling Coca Cola?
339
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,431
No, I'm just
thirsty, is the thing.
340
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,666
(CLEARS THROAT)
341
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,003
You know,
342
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:27,316
we don't have to... We
don't have to do this anymore.
343
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,140
You're right. You're right.
344
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,341
How are you really?
345
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,778
Great. Me, too.
346
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,081
I was actually... I
was a little nervous
347
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,828
about coming here tonight.
348
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,930
I thought things might be a
little awkward between us.
349
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,021
Why?
350
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,524
(STAMMERING) Well, I just felt
bad about the way I broke up with you.
351
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:47,792
(LAUGHING)
352
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,562
Actually, I broke up with you.
353
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,099
Oh.
354
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,635
Right. I did.
355
00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,571
No, no. I know. No, don't
give me that, because I did.
356
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,781
I'm agreeing.
357
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,376
Okay. It was really
nice to see you.
358
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,125
You, too. And I did.
359
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,081
Okay.
360
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,563
Having a good time? Yeah. You?
361
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,827
Yeah. Oh, sure.
362
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,801
So who you been talking to?
363
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,291
Friend of Fran's. You?
364
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,460
You know Ira.
365
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,668
So Alan, huh?
Yeah. That's all fine,
366
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:31,914
it's fine. Good, good.
367
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,249
Why shouldn't it be? It should.
368
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,373
It is.
369
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,453
So you wouldn't mind if I
went out with him? What?
370
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,911
You told me to meet people.
371
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,645
He asked you out?
372
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,515
Yeah. I... I thought it was
a little weird, you know,
373
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,363
since he broke up with you
and everything. Wait, wait, wait.
374
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,686
He said that?
375
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,733
What? That he broke up with me?
376
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,323
Yeah.
377
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,259
I guess. Somebody did. Anyway.
378
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,160
I told him I had to
check with you first.
379
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,606
Well, you don't. So I can?
380
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,430
No, no, no.
381
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,366
Hi. How's your neck doing?
382
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,168
Oh, good. Uh,
well, you were great.
383
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,237
Well, beginner's luck.
384
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,638
Here's the thing.
385
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,908
I didn't realize when I...
386
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,376
Ira brought me
over... I didn't...
387
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,843
You know, there was no...
388
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,446
What do you do at NBC exactly?
389
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,875
I'm in charge of miniseries.
390
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,064
Okay, well, you're gonna
think this is very funny.
391
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,799
It's not that
story again, is it?
392
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,391
No, no. Not that one.
393
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,894
Uh, okay, remember the other
Paul Buchman you wanted to meet?
394
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,195
Hi, how are you?
395
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,125
I don't get it.
396
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,833
I'm, uh... I'm sort of him.
397
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,069
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
398
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,805
Okay, yeah. That's real funny.
399
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,506
No, no, no, seriously, truly.
400
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,021
Truly. Ira, would you please
tell this woman what I do?
401
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,244
He's a chiropractor.
402
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,981
What are you trying to pull?
403
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,428
Okay, look, here is my
Director's Guild card.
404
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,386
I swear. He does
this to me all the time.
405
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,433
Ira wanted to meet
your friend, so...
406
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,002
He always does this. He brings
me to a party, then, you know,
407
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:03,106
he's chasing after a beautiful
woman. He sticks me with the other one.
408
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,948
Not in any way to imply
that you are the other one.
409
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,950
(STAMMERING) Not...
You're a very... I just...
410
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,573
He put...
411
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,841
All I'm saying, look, I am,
I am, I am Paul Buchman.
412
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,379
Trust me. No one will ever know.
413
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,218
Scrod? Royally.
414
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,758
No! No, no, no, no!
415
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,261
No, no, no! Not at all.
416
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,410
Excuse me. Could you
please drive us into a pole?
417
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,126
(ALL SINGING HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO YOU)
418
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,102
Oh, can I have your wish? No!
419
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,337
(ALL CHEERING)
420
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,910
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
421
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,746
Listen, uh,
422
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,182
can I just say I'm
very bad at parties?
423
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,219
Okay, okay. I mean, I'm not
very good at parties, either.
424
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,620
They're the worst!
425
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,300
You know, ever since my
husband and I split up...
426
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,024
Oh, sorry. No, it's fine.
427
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,452
It's just these
things, you know?
428
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,737
He always got me through them.
429
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,496
We had this whole sort of
sign language worked out.
430
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,941
Oh, hey, just, uh,
did it ourselves.
431
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,132
It's time to go now.
432
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,744
The old "time to
go." There's, uh,
433
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,880
"You got a little
thing on your nose."
434
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,064
There's this one "I'm
talking to the most
435
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,705
"boring person in the world.
436
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,508
"Pull me out of this hell."
437
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,221
And, uh, the other sign we have
438
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,544
is this which is, uh,
439
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,690
"Swing on anything.
He's stealing second."
440
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,981
Why don't you call me
at my office on Monday?
441
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,095
Really? Yeah. Well, we
have this project coming up
442
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,559
I think you might
be perfect for.
443
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,587
Oh, that would be great. Just...
444
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:48,399
Wow. You still
carry that damn tea.
445
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,068
Want some? No, thanks.
446
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,735
I just came in to
say good night.
447
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,238
It was great to see you,
and I broke up with you.
448
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,775
Okay.
449
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,922
So then why did you tell my
sister that you broke up with me?
450
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,590
Obviously it's not that
important anymore, is it?
451
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,858
No. I just hate to see you
452
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,560
walking through
your life this confused.
453
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,028
I was there. Yeah, so was I.
454
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,352
I remember it perfectly.
We had that huge fight
455
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,932
in the middle of
Aida... Rigoletto.
456
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,989
Yeah, Rigoletto with
elephants? Hello?
457
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,724
Fine. Okay.
458
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,961
So then, we have
this big fight in the cab.
459
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,807
Yeah. Which is why
I dropped you off.
460
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,631
Right. And then the
next morning I woke up,
461
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,811
called you and told you it
was over. Oh, I called you.
462
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,969
After I called you. After
I left you a message.
463
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,670
After I left you a message.
464
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,051
Well, I didn't get that message.
I called you right after breakfast.
465
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,419
Okay, I called you
when I woke up.
466
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,787
Well, when did
you wake up? 7:30.
467
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,155
What time did you
have breakfast? 7:00.
468
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,378
Okay, what did you have?
469
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,425
It was five years
ago. I don't remember.
470
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,882
Just answer the question.
471
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,918
I don't know. Waffles. Aha!
472
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:45,734
Aha, what? You should
have said a muffin.
473
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,304
Because waffles take at least
40 minutes to order and eat.
474
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,039
That's if you don't send them back
three times, which you always did, anyway.
475
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,875
Which means the earliest you
could have called me is 7:40,
476
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,567
which is 10 minutes
after I broke up with you.
477
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,599
Wow. What?
478
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,242
You're still nuts.
479
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,016
I'm not nuts.
480
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,484
I'm thorough.
481
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,754
I just wanted to set
the record straight.
482
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,523
Now you can go.
483
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,302
Well, fine, because
I was going anyway.
484
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,206
Well, now you may. Thank you.
485
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,511
Is everything okay? It's
perfect, it's over, it's settled.
486
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,712
I never have to see
him again! Good for you.
487
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,115
Paul's doing that thing with
his watch, so we're gonna go.
488
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,872
Okay. I miss that.
489
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,318
What? The ride home
490
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,809
after a party with
somebody, you know?
491
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:42,180
The way you talk about
everybody, put down their food.
492
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,981
Please don't put down my food.
493
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,429
We won't. Happy birthday.
494
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:48,586
Thanks.
495
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,833
You ready? Yes.
Let me get the coats.
496
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,123
I'm gonna check on Lisa.
497
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,762
Oh, hi.
498
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,964
Hi! Good scrod.
499
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,711
Oh? Do you like fish?
500
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,435
Sure. What kind?
501
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,282
I don't know. I like halibut.
502
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,284
Really? Yeah. Well,
not as much as flounder.
503
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,586
Good. But more than pike.
Well, a little more than pike,
504
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,710
although, not as
much as grouper.
505
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,413
Okey-dokey. Hey,
honey. Ready to go?
506
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,459
Yeah. Just a sec.
Did you meet Carol?
507
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,183
Yes. Yes, I did.
508
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,432
Your hair looks great.
Really. Stop fussing.
509
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,656
Thank you. Thank you very much.
510
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:31,240
You're a beautiful woman.
Stop fussing. Seriously.
511
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,864
Paul? Yes.
512
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,466
Did I give you my card? Yes.
513
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:36,701
May I have it back?
514
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:38,917
Yes.
515
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,140
How could I know?
516
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,909
The woman likes
to talk about fish.
517
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,678
You can't humor her?
518
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,179
I was about to faint.
519
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:53,183
Little fish talk, small price
to pay for a miniseries.
520
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,397
What are you doing
giving our signals away?
521
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,954
I was being charming.
522
00:20:57,022 --> 00:21:00,336
Why didn't you just give
her my locker combination?
523
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,626
I tried everything else.
524
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,228
She didn't even laugh at
the thank you note story.
525
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:07,064
Well, did you tell it right?
526
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,400
I think I can tell a
story without your help.
527
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,870
You gave me the thank you notes.
528
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,838
I put them in my
gym bag to mail.
529
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,440
On the way to the gym,
530
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:19,042
I stopped at the movies to
see... What is the name of that?
531
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,756
It doesn't matter. The point is,
532
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,725
you didn't get to the
gym for six months,
533
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,114
then you took a bath.
534
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,584
No. No, no, no, no. You
keep jumping that part.
535
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:30,521
First, after six months, I realized, I
first realized that I forgot to mail them,
536
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:31,967
only I didn't want you to know.
537
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,924
So I thought I'd make
them look weathered,
538
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,104
you know, like the post
office lost them or something.
539
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,673
Right, right, right.
Then you took the bath.
540
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,096
Yeah, then I took the bath.
541
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:40,876
And I took the
envelopes into the bathtub
542
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,901
with me to... To weather them
up. And then you came in...
543
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,047
I came in and I saw
you sitting in the bathtub
544
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,650
with 75 envelopes around you
545
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,418
and I said, "What
are you doing?"
546
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:53,010
You said, "What are you doing?"
I said, "I'm, uh, I'm writing to Zest.
547
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,145
"I'm just so pleased
with their work."
548
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:56,814
(LAUGHING)
549
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,952
Where was this guy all night?
550
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,721
That's a good story.
551
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:05,589
Here.
552
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:10,728
Thank you.
553
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:15,599
I'm sorry. Well, how
could you know?
554
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,882
It was a good party, though,
other than that, wasn't it?
555
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:22,973
All things considered.
556
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:24,842
You talk to anybody?
557
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,645
Couple of people.
One guy I liked.
558
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,634
I told him we'd have
dinner with him next week.
559
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,848
Who?
560
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,015
Hi, I'm Paul.
561
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,385
PAUL: How could I know?
39541
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